Victoria [00:00:01]:
Welcome to Cycle Breakers, a special limited podcast series by Victoria Nielsen designed to support you in your journey of breaking cycles and creating a new path for yourself, your family and humanity. In honor of Akashic Awakening, my group program for women who want to rewrite negative narratives and get in touch with their own energy again. You ready? Let's dive on in. Hello, loves. Welcome to another episode of this limited podcast series, Cycle Breakers. In honor of my signature group coaching program, Akashic Awakening, I am excited to get into it with you guys today. This topic of being a cycle breaker and of really allowing yourself to go to the depths of who you are and be an explorer and not be afraid to face your shadows is so exciting for me because this is what I feel like I'm here to do in this lifetime is to go to the depths and be a cycle breaker, in a way, shower for others. And if you're listening to this podcast series, you are, too.

Victoria [00:01:12]:
So today we're going to talk about identifying some of our core wounds and really getting to the root cause of them. Because what we think is often the problem is actually just a symptom of the larger problem. And you most likely have interconnecting patterns that are replaying themselves over and over in your life. And when you can bring awareness to them, you can begin to change them, you can begin to move them, you can begin to alchemize them, and then you can nurture, right, a new embodied state of being until you have to go through that cycle all over again, because the cycle is never ending. And there is always another layer deeper that you can go. So you may think that you have tackled some of these core wounds, but they may be showing you that there's another layer to be explored. And that's a really beautiful opportunity. Opportunity.

Victoria [00:02:04]:
And, you know, if you're here again, you probably already know that this spiritual realm and the spiritual work, you can't just love and light your way through it. Yes, you want to lead with love. Yes, you want to have an open heart. Yes, all of those beautiful things. But you have to be willing to strip yourself of the. You have to be willing to be authentic with yourself and honest with yourself. And that can be really hard sometimes because then you're the villain and you're the only one that can be blamed, quote, unquote, for whatever is going wrong in your life. And I would actually challenge you to say that if you feel like everything is going wrong in your life, there's a reason there, right, that there's some unmet need, that is, it wants to be expressed inside of you.

Victoria [00:02:53]:
And so can you ask yourself what it is that you're not giving yourself? Right. So back to the wounding. There's a couple of ways that you can begin to identify some of your core wounds if you haven't already. One of the first things you can do if you are not familiar with human design, it is very similar to astrology, and it allows you to better understand your own energy and also your karma and what you're here for. And so as part of your human design chart, it can let you know by the specific number whether or not you have an individual karma in this lifetime or you have a collective karma in this lifetime. And that differentiation is important because you're going to show up with different wounding in the world depending on the karma that you bring into this world. And everyone has karma, right? If you didn't, you would be an ascended master, you would be a saint, you wouldn't be here on Earth. Our main goal here on Earth is to clear and move through all of this karma so that we can ascend.

Victoria [00:03:56]:
So I personally, in my chart, and I'm not a human design reader, I just am passionate about it and I can definitely share some experts in the space if you would like to get an actual human design reading to better understand this. But my karma coming into this lifetime is a personal karma. So that means that I need to focus on my healing in this lifetime and that by healing myself, I will fulfill my soul's mission, right? My, my purpose in coming to Earth in this lifetime. And that doesn't mean that I'm selfish. It means that when I heal myself, I can be the light and the beacon in the way shower for others and cause that ripple effect of healing. Right? But it doesn't mean that I am tied to collective healing. Like, I have not come into this lifetime and said, I'm here to heal for the collective. I'm here to heal for all my ancestors.

Victoria [00:04:49]:
I'm here to move this dense energy on the planet. And there are people that have that as their mission. And you may be one of them. You may feel so much all of the time and may be really affected by the cosmos and the cosmic weather. And that's really important to know and be aware of, right? Because then you can start differentiating what energy is yours and what energy is not. Because a lot of what you're alchemizing actually isn't your own energy. And you may be carrying it as a core wound and not even realize it. And The.

Victoria [00:05:23]:
The same can be said on the opposite side, right? Like when you have personal karma coming into this lifetime, it can be easy to get pulled into the collective and wanting to heal things for the collective, but that's not what you're here for. And neither is good or bad or otherwise. It just is. And every single person has their own particular mission on this planet. And it doesn't make you good or better than anyone else. It just helps you identify what you're here to do so that your soul can actually do it. Okay, so that's first and foremost figuring out, right, if you've got personal or collective karma. And if you have personal karma, can you maybe zoom in to those patterns that I talked about at the beginning? So, for me, I know I have a big abandonment wound, and I have some daddy issues, and all of it stems from childhood.

Victoria [00:06:18]:
So thinking back to childhood, those pivotal ages when you are coming into your own, and you are such a sponge, you are open to those around you, the environment that you're in, you're very just susceptible. And again, it's neither good nor bad. But now that you're an adult, you have to come back to some of those situations with a new perspective and decide how you want to move forward from them. Do you want to carry that wounding with you still? Or do you want to allow some forgiveness in? Do you want to allow some healing? And do you want to allow some love in? Okay. And as part of my group program, Akashic Awakening, we actually revisit some of these soul contracts and do a burn ceremony and get rid of them. Because at any point, you can decide to suspend a contract and be done with it. Not if it's with other people. Okay, I'm going to say that caveat.

Victoria [00:07:11]:
If you have contracts with other people, those have to run their course, like, in between both of you having free will and things like that. But if it's a contract that you've made with yourself, like a contract of suffering, for example, you can be the one to break that at any time. And you can use the Akashic records to ask if you have some of these specific contracts, like a contract of loneliness or a contract of suffering or a contract of scare, you know, scaredness of being seen. Any. Any of these things can come from contracts that your soul made before coming here, that these are the lessons that you were meant to lear. So back to those like abandonment wounds and daddy issues. I saw that pattern play out in my life over and over and over again by choosing all of the Wrong guys and love in all of the wrong places. And it wasn't until I better understood my own astrology that I came to see that this self love and acceptance is one of the core wounds that I came into this world to heal.

Victoria [00:08:11]:
So again, I'm not an astrologer here, but I love the tool of extra of astrology for healing and empowerment. And I can share some amazing women who do astrological readings. But figuring out where your Chiron is, Chiron is the. The wounded warrior. And so whatever planet that you have in Chiron is really going to tell you what you're healed to heal in this lifetime. And so my chiron is in cancer. And that's a really big wound around self love and self relationship and feeling like I am not lovable enough. And that's been a big theme of my life, of wanting that love from everyone else.

Victoria [00:08:48]:
Until I realized that I have to be the one to give myself that love. That when I give myself that love, that's when everything else magnetizes. That's when everything else comes into my life that I want. Because I have to believe first and I have to be the one to get to the root of the issue. Right? The root again, not just the symptom. Your anxiety is a symptom of some of your wounding. Your anger is a symptom of some of your wounding. Right? But you gotta dig a little bit deeper.

Victoria [00:09:21]:
And an exercise that you can always do again in the Akashic records or just by yourself, a meditation is to ask why five times so you can get to the root cause of what's going on. So for example, if you're like, why do I feel melancholy today? Well, because the weather's shitty. Okay, well, why do I always feel like that when the weather's shitty? Well, I feel like I'm trapped inside. And then I have to examine my feelings. Well, why do I not want to examine my feelings? Well, the last time that I did that, it made me feel really uncomfortable. Okay, well, why did I feel uncomfortable? Well, because when I was really little, anytime that I would get like overly emotional or overly upset, my mom's nervous system just couldn't handle it. And that's not her fault, but the way that she parented me didn't allow me to feel safe, like expressing myself in that way. All right, that just went like really deep because I've obviously asked myself these questions over and over again.

Victoria [00:10:22]:
But you get that as the example, right? That, that you can continue to dig and excavate, that you have to Be willing to go there, because that's when you're going to figure out what is the special thing inside of you that actually this wound is showing you. So, you know, another wounding of my own that I discovered around this not enoughness, right, and not loving myself enough was that when a little girl on the playground in elementary school told me that I thought I was all that, I really internalized that and felt a lot of shame and guilt for shining my light and for just being who I was. And it took me most of my life to unlearn that story, to rewrite that story. It's okay if it takes you a long time. That's what you're here for, that's what your life is for, is to learn these lessons. There is no, like final destination, right? So there is no race to get them done. But sometimes our souls know better and they front load all of the experiences so that it's hard and we have to alchemize and we have to do the shadow work and we have to move through it to then be of service to others as we move forward. And we have to do the honor of uncovering who we're really meant to be in this lifetime.

Victoria [00:11:38]:
Because as I said as children, there's so much that is projected onto us that we absorb that isn't really ours. And you deserve to take the time to figure out what is your energy and what is someone else's. And you know, as we dive into our wounds, it is hard and it is messy and it's not easy work, but it will result in a more easeful life. And that's another reason why I created Akashic Awakening as a group program. Because when you are working with other women in a group, the group is a mirror for all that is rising inside of you. And it is so nice to be able to be held in that space, but also to be seen and to be witnessed and to know that you're not alone. Because other women are feeling the exact same thing. These issues are universal.

Victoria [00:12:30]:
You are not the only one that has an abandonment wound. You are not the only one that has a fear of failure. You are not the only one that feels this way. So let's normalize talking about it. Because when we are able to look at our shadows, we bring them to the light and we're able to maybe cut down some untruths that were planted in us at a young age so that we can plant our own truth there instead and really discover, like, our own magic. And there's this Concept that I just learned recently from an amazing mentor of mine, Bijou Feeney. And she talks about this idea of a golden shadow that actually something that you've been carrying as a core wound with you is like your magic and what you're here to express and to do. But someone along the way made you feel like it was a bad thing.

Victoria [00:13:24]:
So back to that little girl, right? Me shining my light and me being who I am is, I feel like part of my. My golden shadow to share my weirdness, my authenticity, to just, yeah, be who the fuck I am. And so I turned her commentary into this bad thing inside of me that. That made me feel like not me. Okay, so. So that's kind of this idea of the golden shadow that, that actually this unique thing that's amazing about you, you have thought that it's not because of others outside of you. And. And so maybe over this time you want to work on that.

Victoria [00:14:02]:
You want to discover, like, what is your magic and your superpower that you've been overlooking. You know, I think that's another beautiful area to have women to hold and witness you in. Because it can be so hard to see ourselves sometimes, especially in the day to day of motherhood and life and just all of the things, having someone to mirror back to you, your amazingness, your strength, your beauty, your truth, your wisdom is invaluable, okay? Because we've got to lift one another up, especially as we're doing this work. Like I said, this work is hard, but it can be fun when we do it together and when we realize that we can change in any moment and that these core wounds don't have to be the same story that we tell ourselves over and over again. Like, aren't you tired of your own. I feel like that's the point that I had to get to recently. That, like, I was just so tired of my own bullshit that it was like, okay, this is the only way forward because I am not subscribing to this narrative anymore. I don't want to tell this story.

Victoria [00:15:05]:
I'm tired of telling the same story over and over again of the broken little girl. And I actually had an experience recently with plant medicine that really opened this up for me. That. I mean, that's like a whole nother avenue to go down for shadow work, because plant medicine is such a beautiful ally. But it showed me the areas in my life where I was still being a wounded little girl, where I was letting that little inner child who felt unloved, who felt unsafe, who felt unseen, like Drive the bus. And I was doing it in my relationships, in my life, and how I was mothering my kids. And as a 35 year old woman, like, it's time for me to step into my fucking queendom. And I don't care what age you are listening right now, it's time for you to step into your queendom too.

Victoria [00:15:53]:
It's time for you to stop playing in the wounded energy, which there will be another podcast episode around the four archetypes of a woman and how you can play in her healed and in her wounded energy is like, that episode is going to be so amazing because that information was a game changer for me when it came to being a cycle breaker. But playing in that wounded energy is, is detrimental to, to everyone in your life. So it is not only for you that you step into this queendom, but it's for everyone around you and for the greater good of humanity too. Because again, you're that cycle breaker. You're that way shower. You're the one that's going to show everyone around you what's possible. And if that feels like so far away right now that you don't even know how to get there, that's okay. That's part of what we'll do together in Akashic Awakening is we will get there together and we will hold one another and we will use the Akashic Records as the amazing tool of healing and empowerment that it is to help identify some of these wounds so that we can rewrite the stories for good or so we can go to a deeper level of healing.

Victoria [00:17:02]:
There is always a deeper level that can be sought after. And you know, another wound that's been coming up recently for me is around eating. And I feel like so many women in today's society have disordered eating patterns. But it's not about the food, right? It's about the control that the food represents. It's about the hole in you, perhaps, that you're trying to fill with the food. Okay, you can, you know, insert anything besides food, right? Like games, alcohol, drugs, like whatever it is, even if it's a positive thing, doing too much of a positive thing can still be an addictive behavior. Addictive thought patterns, right? Like we always think of addictions as substances, but you can have addictive thought patterns. And so part of why Akashic Awakening is so amazing is that you are also using Kundalini Yoga, this ancient technology, to help you move this sludge and yuckiness up and out of the body and out of the subconscious.

Victoria [00:18:03]:
So that you can bring it to your awareness. Kundalini will bring up some shit for you because it's ready to be worked through. And I believe that of all shadow work, I don't think that things come up for us to deal with until we are ready to. And they'll continue to come up until we are right, until the boulder comes and knocks us off the path. And the goal is to not get to that point. Don't get to the point that the boulder has to come and, like, knock everything out of your life and you have to burn it down. Listen, when the universe is sending pebbles, okay, right now, the universe, the goddess is sending you pebbles. You're listening because you're listening to this podcast.

Victoria [00:18:38]:
Keep listening. Don't let it grow so that it's an avalanche that you can't control. That's really what ends up happening, is people are so disassociated, so out of their bodies for so long. When they finally come back, it's almost like this, like, Kali energy of, like, burn it all the down because none of it's working okay. And that's a lot. I mean, that's scary. That's transformative. It's needed sometimes.

Victoria [00:19:05]:
But there's an easier way to do it, right, by doing the work little by little, by allowing the shadows to come up when they are ready to be alchemized and. And to face them head on. And so we will face them head on with Kundalini Yoga, with the group of amazing women that are coming together for Akashic Awakening. You really. You really have the power to transform your own life. When you can take an honest look at your bullshit, and when you can decide that these wounds no longer wound you, that you're going to break the cycle, that you're going to break the pattern. And part of breaking that pattern is going to be leaning more into your feminine energy and less in your masculine energy. I'll leave that as like a cliffhanger for the next episode about the need for healing your divine masculine, to be able to surrender into your divine feminine.

Victoria [00:19:57]:
So watch for that episode. It's dropping tomorrow. It's super juicy. Thank you guys for being here. Please let me know how you're liking the podcast. Share it on Instagram with me at Victoria. Margo Nielsen. I'm so excited to be having these conversations with you.

Victoria [00:20:13]:
I think they're so, so important. If you would like to share this podcast with anyone else that you think would benefit from this conversation, I would be so appreciative and I will be right back here tomorrow to chat divine masculine with. I love you guys so much. Be good to one another.