136. The Art of Disagreeing Without Conflict: Navigating the Nuance

Show Notes

Disagreement and conflict may look the same on the surface, but the two concepts are, in fact, very different. According to Julia Minson, knowing how these notions differ is crucial to how you approach them. 

In this episode of Think Fast Talk Smart, Minson and strategic communication lecturer Matt Abrahams delve into the intricacies of conflict and disagreement. Minson, an associate professor of public policy at the Harvard Kennedy School and Stanford University alumna, also shares her expertise on decision-making and conflict negotiation. Minson emphasizes the need for genuine curiosity and receptiveness in communication to foster productive dialogue.

Episode Reference Links:

• Julia Minson: Website
• Underestimating Counterparts’ Learning Goals Impairs Conflictual Conversations (Julia’s study about people’s goals when talking to those they disagree with)
• To have better disagreements, change your words (Article by Julia about HEAR)
• Ep.30 - Dissolve Disagreements: How Communication Impacts Conflict: Website / YouTube 
• Ep.72 - Quick Thinks: Talk it Out - How to Successfully Negotiate and Resolve Conflict: Website / YouTube

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Chapters:

(00:00:00) Introduction

Matt introduces guest Julia Minson, who is an expert in decision-making, conflict negotiation, and the psychology of disagreement.

(00:00:54) Journey into Conflict and Disagreement Research

Julia gives insight into her background and what led her to research disagreement and conflict.

(00:01:55) Distinguishing Between Disagreement and Conflict

The difference between disagreement and conflict, and why understanding this distinction is crucial for effective communication.

(00:04:12) Strategies for Disagreeing Better

Practical advice on how to disagree constructively without escalating to conflict, focusing on expressing and acting with curiosity.

(00:07:05) Demonstrating Curiosity and Conversational Receptiveness

Tactics for showing curiosity and conversational receptiveness, including using the HEAR acronym to maintain constructive dialogues.

(00:14:38) Managing Conflict

Managing and navigating conflict, emphasizing emotional readiness and the importance of choosing battles wisely.

(00:18:25) The Final Three Questions

Julia shares personal experiences with conflict and disagreement, a communicator she admires, and her recipe for successful communication.

(00:22:48) Conclusion

Creators & Guests

Host

Matt Abrahams

Lecturer Stanford University Graduate School of Business | Think Fast Talk Smart podcast host

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