Carol Cox: How comfortable are you thinking and speaking
on your feet? That's what we're talking
about in today's episode of the Speaking
Your Brand podcast.
More and more women are making an impact by
starting businesses, running for office and
speaking up for what matters.
With my background as a TV political
analyst, entrepreneur and speaker, I
interview and coach purpose driven women to
shape their brands, grow their companies,
and become recognized as influencers in
their field. This is speaking your brand,
your place to learn how to persuasively
communicate your message to your audience.
Hi there and welcome to the Speaking Your
Brand podcast. I'm your host, Carol Cox.
Are you the type of speaker who loves to
have your entire presentation scripted out?
You have it pretty much word for word in a
document, and then you have your slides.
And then in the notes section underneath the
slides, you have all of your notes for each
slide. Well, in this episode, I'm going to
challenge you to think differently about
your speaking and your presentations.
I really want you to embrace impromptu
speaking. Now, this doesn't mean that you're
not going to prepare for your presentations.
You are. But I want you to get more practice
being able to think and speak on your feet.
Because have you ever had one of these
situations happen to you?
Number one, you're in a meeting or you're in
a group and you're asked to share something
on the spot. Maybe they're going around the
room and they want everyone to answer a
question, and you're the first person that
they select.
And so what usually happens is that you get
really nervous. You feel at a loss for
words, and maybe you mumble something, but
you don't feel like it was a great answer.
Or number two, you're at a networking event
where you need to concisely share with the
other people there who you are, what you do,
and how you help people.
But after you introduce yourself, you
realize that you left out the most important
part, or it felt just like a jumble.
Or number three, you're leading a meeting
where you need to motivate your team, but
you didn't have an opportunity to prepare
your message ahead of time.
And so afterwards, you feel like you weren't
as clear or you didn't come across as
confident as you wanted to be.
So regardless of how prepared you feel for
the presentations that you give, where you
have your outline on your slides, you still
want to be as equally prepared for those
situations that I just described.
And yes, I realize this is an oxymoron to
feel like you are prepared for impromptu
speaking, but you absolutely can be.
And as a leader and as a speaker, you really
need to hone both your prepared and your
impromptu speaking skills.
So in this episode, I'm going to share with
you why impromptu speaking is hard.
Especially hard for us high achieving women.
Why impromptu speaking matters so much to
your development as a speaker and as a
leader. Specific things you can do to get
better at impromptu speaking, and I'm going
to share some of my own impromptu speaking
wins and fails.
If you're new to the podcast, welcome here at
Speaking Your Brand. We work with women
entrepreneurs and professionals to clarify
their brand message and story, create their
signature talks, and develop their thought
leadership platforms.
Our mission is to get more women in
positions of influence and power, because we
know that change comes through women's
stories, voices, visibility, and leadership.
I'm going to talk about this more at the end
of the episode, but we have a brand new live
online workshop that we've created to help
you build your speaking confidence,
including these impromptu speaking skills.
Again, we're going to I'm going to share
more information about that at the end of
this episode. You want to make sure to
listen until the end, because I have a
special coupon code for you to save on this
workshop just for podcast listeners.
Now let's get on with the show.
What exactly does impromptu mean?
I looked it up on dictionary.com and here's
the definition made or done without previous
preparation. And the example that
Dictionary.com gave is an impromptu address
to the unexpected crowds.
Another definition is something that
suddenly or hastily prepared or made, like
an impromptu dinner.
And the third definition is improvised,
having the character of an improvisation.
And we're going to come back to improv in
just a little bit, but made or done without
previous preparation.
And I think that's what scares us the most.
Why is impromptu speaking so hard?
Why do we fear it so much, and why do we
feel like we're not good at thinking and
speaking on our feet?
I believe it's because for those of us who
are high achieving women, we're so used to
being good at the things that we do, and we
generally we do the things that we're
already good at.
We did well in school, we've done well in
our professional careers and in our
businesses, and a lot of that has to do with
preparation. We've studied for the exams, we
made sure we did our homework on time and we
were validated and we were encouraged for
doing so. So that's why now when we put
together our presentations and our talks and
our keynotes, we.
You want to make sure that our outline is
filled out, that we have all of the notes,
maybe even an entire script for it.
All of our slides are done as well, because
we're afraid we're not going to know what to
say if we don't have everything scripted
out. If we don't have all of our notes and
slides, we don't want to mess up that
perfectionism streak, I know runs really
strong and a lot of us, and we want to say
the exact right thing.
This is why when we work with our clients and
our thought leader Academy, and we've done
their VIP to create their signature talk,
and then their homework is to take what
we've written on the post-it notes and then
transcribe it into an outline.
And some of them want to write out their
entire talk. And we're talking, you know,
35, 45 minute talk, an entire talk.
They want to write it all out word for word.
And we tell them that that number one,
that's going to be really hard, because
you're not going to want to memorize a talk
that that's long.
Number two is going to take you out of the
present moment. If you're trying to remember
what you wrote on your for your talk,
instead of just engaging with the audience.
And number three, you're not going to come
across as natural and authentic when you're
actually delivering the presentation to your
audience. But I know, especially for those
who are writers and yes, I see you.
I know who you are, that you want to write
everything out, and the reason you want to
write everything out, I believe, is because
you know that if you can put pen to paper,
typewriter to the Google doc, that you're
going to come up with the exact right words,
the exact right thing to say to your
audience. And I'm here to tell you that
there are no magic words to say to your
audience. Instead, it's about understanding
where your audience is and having empathy
for them, validating where they're at.
It's not about having all the right answers,
or having those magic words or the perfect
thing to say. It's about asking the big
questions and helping your audience to
understand what are the big questions?
What are the conversations that need to be
had? It's about you as the speaker and you
as the leader, contributing to the
conversation that's going on in the present
moment. If everything that you do is always
scripted and always prepared in advance,
what if something has happened that day or
the day before?
You need to address it in your presentation,
in your talk for that audience, how are you
going to have the agility, the skill set to
do that? It's also about recognizing the
energy and the mood of your audience and
adjusting as necessary.
If your audience is really high energy in
the moment, you want to make sure that you
keep that energy up.
In contrast, if your audience is really
reflective, something's going on.
Maybe they have low energy because they just
got back from lunch or a really hard
session. You want to make sure that you're
recognizing that and addressing it and then
lifting their energy, if that's the
appropriate thing to do.
I talk more about this in episode 382 from a
couple of months ago called Three Signs
You're Stuck in the Expert Trap, so I highly
recommend that episode as well.
This is why getting better at impromptu
speaking matters to you both as a speaker
and as a leader, because you're really there
to lead your audience, to guide your
audience to understanding where they're at
and then where they want to go.
I was on the debate team when I was in high
school, and I did Model United Nations in
college, and I've been on live TV so many
times that I've lost count.
So I had to get used very, very quickly to
thinking and speaking on my feet.
And I learned very quickly that there are no
magic words, and there is no way that I
would be able to have a prepared script when
my when I go on live TV, unlike the anchors,
I don't get a teleprompter with a script
that's been written out in front of me.
But there was a time when I was on live TV
when I was asked a question, and for the
first time in all of the segments I had been
on. I stopped my literally, my mouth would
not open and I didn't have an answer for the
first time. And I think I sat there for
about 10s.
Now, luckily, we were recording a segment
that was going to air the next morning, so
this wasn't actually live.
Most of the time that I was on TV, it was
actually being broadcast live in real time,
but this one wasn't.
And the reason that I was stumped for 10s is
that was the night of the 2016 election, and
we all know how that went.
It was about 11:30 p.m.
that night, and it was clear that Hillary
Clinton was not going to become the first
woman president, as I and so many other
women in this country had wanted to happen.
And I was in a state of shock.
A lot of the other people in the newsroom, I
could tell, were in a state of shock.
And so we were again filming a segment that
was going to air the next morning, kind of
just talking about what had happened and
what was going to be coming next.
So the reporter who I worked with the whole
year, you know, we were sitting in the
studio getting ready to record this segment.
And so we start and he asked me, I don't
even remember what the question is. He asked
me the question, and I just sat there and
like I said, like my I just didn't have any
words. I was at a loss for words because of
that shock to the system.
But very quickly I recovered and I just went
on to to say my piece for the segment.
But I'm sharing this story to let you know
that all of us have those moments at some
time, and the more times you speak, the more
times you go on TV, the more interviews you
do. There probably will come a time when
you're at a loss for words or you are
stumped by something.
And so to me, it matters less about finding
the magic words, and that in that situation
then how you respond to yourself, how do you
treat yourself?
What kind of grace and compassion do you
give to yourself in those moments?
Or if you see someone else who's in that
situation, how much grace and compassion do
you give to them? So here are some specific
things you can do to get better at impromptu
speaking, and to feel more confident
thinking and speaking on your feet.
The first thing is to practice, practice,
practice, practice sharing your key stories
and your key points.
Often, being a guest on podcasts, doing
podcast interviews is a great way to do
this, as is hosting your own podcast.
I've been doing this podcast for over seven
years. This is episode 390, so I definitely
have gotten more comfortable sharing my
stories and my key points.
Same thing with doing podcast interviews.
And so have your your key stories for your
story bank and have your framework and your
key points. You can have some notes for you,
but then go do those podcast interviews and
just start sharing the same key stories and
the same key points over and over again.
As I always remind our clients, you know your
own stories, you know your own content, you
know your own framework.
This is why we recommend for your framework
that you have an acronym or an alliteration
or a visual shape. It helps you remember it
as much as it helps your audience to
remember it. But you know your stories.
You know your material.
If I were to come to you and ask you to
share a particular story, you could do it
just like you were having lunch with a
friend and sharing that story.
So as you're going to your more prepared
speaking engagements, your presentations try
to rely less and less on having a full
outline with a whole bunch of notes.
Try to rely less and less on the notes
section of your slides.
That bottom section I actually I don't use
it at all. You really don't need it.
Use the slides as your visual guide, your
own visual guide, or the audience visual
guide as well, and rely less and less on
your on the text, on the content of your
slides. You really shouldn't have a lot of
text on your slides to begin with.
Now here's an example of the power of having
practiced sharing your stories and your key
points often.
Just this past February, we held our three
day in person client retreat where we
brought together 12 women for three days,
where we practiced for the first two days,
and the third day they filmed the speaking
segments that they had practiced so that
they would have it for their speaker.
Real well, on the morning of that third day.
Diane and I also were going to film a few of
our own speaking segments.
So these speaking segments are about five
minutes long. Well, leading up to the
retreat, I kind of had an idea of what
segments I wanted to film.
I wanted to film one with props, I wanted to
film one with some audience engagement and
so on. But that morning of that third day, I
was taking a shower to get ready, and all of
a sudden this story popped into my mind.
The story of that not great TEDx talk that I
gave back in October of 2016, and I've
talked about it here on the podcast, most
recently back at the beginning of March for
Women's History Month.
So as I was taking the shower that morning,
kind of that I was thinking about that
speaking engagement, and all of a sudden I
realized the story I had been telling myself
about that speaking fail was actually not
quite right. Well, it was right, but there
was much more to the story.
So I started kind of thinking about this in
my mind, and then I started framing how I
was going to deliver the speaking segment.
So how was I going to open?
What parts of the story was I going to
share, and then how was I going to end it?
So I did all this and the, you know, the
five minutes that I was in the shower.
So we get to that day three, you know, we're
getting everything ready. The film crew is
there and all that. And then Diane and I are
ready to to film our segment.
So we filmed some segments together.
And then I was like, okay, I'm just going to
go ahead and go for this. I haven't
practiced it at all. I had zero notes.
Nothing had written out whatsoever, just
what I had thought of that morning.
So I get up there and I deliver the whole
thing with no pausing, no redos whatsoever.
Five minutes now, looking back at it, there
were there are some things that I would
change about it, but very minor.
No one else would notice it.
But that is the power of impromptu speaking.
That is the power of knowing your stories.
That's also the power of understanding our
framework of how to give a great talk and
our ideal story ingredients, both of which
you'll learn in that workshop we have coming
up. So that's the first thing.
Practice sharing your stories and your key
points as often as you can in different
venues. The second thing is do not memorize.
Instead, engage with your audience.
Truly connect with them.
Look around, see who's in that room.
Think about what would help them that you
can share. And this is especially true for
those impromptu speaking moments where
you're leading an organization and you have
just a couple of minutes and you need to
kind of rally the troops, or you're leading
a team, you need to rally the troops, really
look at them, understand what is it?
What is their goal, what do they need and
what can you share with them in that moment
that's going to help them and help you and
help whatever the cause is or whatever the
common goal is, help you all to achieve
that. You can't memorize that in advance.
You really have to engage and connect.
Now, if you're in a situation where you need
to remember to thank certain people or
sponsors, you can have an index card where
you've just jotted down those names.
And so that you have that that index card,
you can use both front and back if you need
to, to have that much information on it.
But that way you can just stick it in your
pocket when you're done with using the index
card. Or you can set it aside.
I don't recommend that you put your notes on
your phone. I see a lot of speakers do this
as they have their phone and they put notes
on there, so they're kind of scrolling as
they're reading their notes.
The problem with that is that having the
phone out really does disconnect you from
your audience.
Also, you don't know if all of a sudden
you're going to get a phone call or a text
notification or something on your phone
while you're scrolling that's going to
interrupt you. You don't know.
All of a sudden someone you know needs to
say something or ask a question.
Then your phone locks, and then you have to
unlock it before you can continue.
And then you have to figure out where am I
going to put the phone when I'm done with
this. So you leave it in your hand. So it's
just not a good idea. Just have an index
card instead and really engage with the
audience. Ask them some questions.
Show of hands. Questions out loud.
Questions. Make it about all.
All. Make it about everyone.
Not just don't just put the pressure on you
as the as the speaker.
Third thing to do to get better in impromptu
speaking and feel more confident is to take
an improv class.
Now, I know you've heard us talk about this
a lot, especially over the past year, but it
really is so good to get you out of your
head and into your body, and to recognize
that you can be silly.
You can be on a stage in front of people and
not have all the answers.
You can be on a stage in front of a bunch of
people and not literally not know what's
coming next, or what the person's going to
say next, and you're going to be okay.
That was the biggest lesson that I got from
improv is that you're going to be okay.
So again, practice sharing your stories and
your key points often.
Don't memorize.
Instead, engage and connect and take that
improv class to get out of your head and
into your body.
Now, if you would like to work with us on
building your speaking confidence and these
impromptu speaking skills, this is what
we're doing in our brand new live online
workshop.
We truly create a safe environment for all
the women that we work with.
This is what we hear a time and time again
from the clients who work with us, and our
thought Leader Academy and the other
workshops that we've done is they they
really feel like they have a safe
environment where they can try new things,
they can share their stories and get our
feedback. So you're going to learn in this
workshop how to use our framework for any
presentation, speech or interview you have,
whether you have five minutes to prepare or
five weeks to prepare, you're going to learn
specific techniques you can use to keep your
audience interested and engaged.
You're going to learn our storytelling
framework and our ideal story ingredients,
and you're going to have lots of time to
practice your storytelling and practice
sharing your brand message.
And you'll get feedback and coaching from us
so you can quickly develop these impromptu
speaking skills and build your confidence.
You can get all the details and you can
register as speaking your
brand.com/speaking-workshop. Again, that's
speaking your brand. Com slash speaking dash
workshop. There's a link in the show notes
so you can click on that link as well.
And the coupon code just for podcast
listeners like you to save $100 on this
workshop is the code Podcast100.
So all together no spaces Podcast100.
So just put the coupon code Podcast100 in
the registration form when you sign up.
It's going to be a fun workshop and you're
going to find that having the the mini
trainings, the practice and the feedback and
coaching really is going to accelerate your
speaking skills.
The reason we're doing this workshop is
because it aligns with our mission.
We want more women out there speaking up
leading organizations and companies and
being interviewed on podcasts and on TV, and
I want you to be one of those women.
Until next time, thanks for listening.