Dusty goes solo to challenge one of leadership’s most damaging habits—the belief that being “nice” is the same as being effective—and makes the case that niceness is quietly starving teams of the truth they need to perform. Drawing from a powerful real-world example of a brilliant but overly restrained leader, personal leadership failures, and research spanning neuroscience, McKinsey, Gallup, and HBR, he exposes why most leaders aren’t actually giving feedback at all—they’re managing their own discomfort. Dusty unpacks the critical distinction between nice and kind, showing how nice protects the speaker while kind serves the team, and explains why poorly delivered feedback triggers threat responses in the brain rather than growth. He then introduces the “Because of you, we” framework—a simple, research-backed structure that reframes feedback as a collective benefit instead of a personal attack—along with a practical four-step conversation model leaders can use immediately. Through concrete examples on both ends of the spectrum, Dusty demonstrates how clarity, specificity, and shared ownership unlock contribution, accountability, and trust. This episode is a call for leaders to stop hoping people “get it,” start saying what needs to be said with genuine care, and build cultures where truth—delivered kindly—is the engine of performance.
Key Timestamps:
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00:00) – The Difference Between Nice and Kind
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07:01) – The Neuroscience of Feedback
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15:40) – The 'Because of You, We' Framework
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16:27) – Practical Application and Examples
(
25:04) – Preparing for Difficult Conversations
Key Topics Discussed:
Leadership Unlocked, Leadership Insights, Dusty Holcomb, Servant Leadership Principles, Self-Leadership Strategies, Growth Mindset in Leadership, Integrity and Leadership, Leadership Development Resources, Effective Leadership Habits, Empowering Leadership Techniques, Senior Executive Insights, Leadership Quotes and Reflections, Leadership Podcast, Executive Coaching, CEO Podcast, Business Leadership, Leadership Growth, Leadership Journey, Stories From Leaders, Leadership Tools, High-Performing Teams, Leadership Mindset, Decision Making, Personal Growth, Leadership Coaching, Organizational Leadership
More of Leadership Unlocked:
What is Leadership Unlocked: The Operating System Every Executive Leader Needs to Delegate Effectively & Foster Accountability So You Can Stop Managing Alone and Start Leading a Team Again?
Leadership Unlocked is a leadership podcast about the moments that shape how real leaders grow. Hosted by executive coach & strategist Dusty Holcomb, it features real stories and honest conversations with CEOs, founders, and senior leaders navigating real-world challenges and growth.
Each episode delivers real-world leadership insights, stories from leaders in the field, and practical tools for high-performing teams—making it a must-listen for anyone serious about leadership development.
Whether you're leading a company, a team, or yourself, you'll walk away with something you can use right now.
New episodes weekly. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or visit ArcqusGroup.com/podcast to learn more.