1 01:00:00,500 --> 01:00:02,750 Good morning and 2 01:00:02,750 --> 01:00:04,625 welcome to your Morning Syria. 3 01:00:05,500 --> 01:00:07,708 (upbeat music) 4 01:00:08,958 --> 01:00:11,458 Okay, good morning and welcome to Friday, 5 01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:14,583 Eve, less well known as Thursday. 6 01:00:15,125 --> 01:00:16,500 But if it feels like it's 7 01:00:16,500 --> 01:00:17,875 been a long week for you, 8 01:00:17,875 --> 01:00:19,000 well, good news. 9 01:00:19,500 --> 01:00:21,375 Today is National Hug Day, 10 01:00:21,541 --> 01:00:22,375 which means if 11 01:00:22,375 --> 01:00:23,916 someone is lingering around 12 01:00:23,916 --> 01:00:24,958 a little bit longer than 13 01:00:24,958 --> 01:00:27,083 usual, just go with it, right? 14 01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:29,583 The world can always use a few more hugs. 15 01:00:30,125 --> 01:00:31,875 All right, yesterday's trivia answer, 16 01:00:32,416 --> 01:00:34,208 the Macedonian Empire. 17 01:00:34,958 --> 01:00:36,125 Alexander the Great led 18 01:00:36,125 --> 01:00:37,875 the Macedonian Empire. 19 01:00:38,458 --> 01:00:39,708 And now the essential vitamins 20 01:00:39,708 --> 01:00:41,708 in your morning cereal today's quote, 21 01:00:41,916 --> 01:00:43,333 and it's from birthday girl 22 01:00:43,333 --> 01:00:45,083 turning 46 years old today, 23 01:00:45,625 --> 01:00:47,500 Christina Ricci, who said, quote, 24 01:00:47,875 --> 01:00:48,833 "I've learned to 25 01:00:48,833 --> 01:00:50,166 trust myself," end quote, 26 01:00:50,583 --> 01:00:53,166 which might be the most underrated life 27 01:00:53,166 --> 01:00:54,000 skill that there is, 28 01:00:54,083 --> 01:00:55,666 right up there with knowing 29 01:00:55,666 --> 01:00:57,125 when to leave a party early. 30 01:00:57,458 --> 01:00:57,625 Right? 31 01:00:57,875 --> 01:00:58,416 Well, let's go ahead 32 01:00:58,416 --> 01:00:59,250 and just jump straight 33 01:00:59,250 --> 01:01:00,875 into what the experts have to say. 34 01:01:01,375 --> 01:01:02,958 It is time to pour in some Let Them 35 01:01:02,958 --> 01:01:04,041 Theory by Mel Robbins. 36 01:01:04,791 --> 01:01:08,625 And today we are summarizing chapter 18, 37 01:01:08,625 --> 01:01:10,083 which was let them show 38 01:01:10,083 --> 01:01:11,958 you who they are, okay? 39 01:01:12,291 --> 01:01:14,041 And this chapter, it might've 40 01:01:14,041 --> 01:01:15,333 been one of the most freeing 41 01:01:15,625 --> 01:01:16,791 in the entire book. 42 01:01:17,416 --> 01:01:18,541 Remember, Mel's core 43 01:01:18,541 --> 01:01:20,416 message here is simple, 44 01:01:20,416 --> 01:01:21,666 but it's uncomfortable as well. 45 01:01:22,166 --> 01:01:23,583 People are already 46 01:01:23,583 --> 01:01:25,000 showing you who they are. 47 01:01:25,250 --> 01:01:27,208 You just have to stop explaining it away. 48 01:01:27,833 --> 01:01:29,500 She explains how we spend years 49 01:01:29,500 --> 01:01:31,416 rationalizing bad behavior, 50 01:01:31,875 --> 01:01:33,125 minimizing red flags 51 01:01:33,125 --> 01:01:34,875 and holding onto potential 52 01:01:35,333 --> 01:01:36,416 instead of reality. 53 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:38,083 And as Mel writes, quote, 54 01:01:38,083 --> 01:01:39,500 "You don't need more time. 55 01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:41,291 You don't need more proof. 56 01:01:41,833 --> 01:01:44,291 The behavior is the proof," end quote. 57 01:01:44,750 --> 01:01:47,250 Now, this chapter, it challenges the idea 58 01:01:47,250 --> 01:01:49,166 that clarity comes from conversations. 59 01:01:50,083 --> 01:01:51,958 Instead, Mel argues that 60 01:01:51,958 --> 01:01:53,791 clarity comes from observation. 61 01:01:54,500 --> 01:01:56,458 What do people consistently do? 62 01:01:56,958 --> 01:01:58,125 Not what do they promise? 63 01:01:58,583 --> 01:01:59,833 Not what do they apologize 64 01:01:59,833 --> 01:02:02,041 for or intend to do, okay? 65 01:02:02,500 --> 01:02:04,166 One powerful reminder she 66 01:02:04,166 --> 01:02:05,750 offers us is this, quote, 67 01:02:06,291 --> 01:02:07,416 "Patterns don't lie. 68 01:02:07,791 --> 01:02:09,291 We lie to ourselves 69 01:02:09,291 --> 01:02:10,958 about patterns," end quote. 70 01:02:11,500 --> 01:02:12,791 Now, Mel explains that 71 01:02:12,791 --> 01:02:15,083 letting them isn't about being cold 72 01:02:15,083 --> 01:02:16,541 or cutting people off dramatically. 73 01:02:17,083 --> 01:02:17,875 It's about acceptance. 74 01:02:18,458 --> 01:02:19,125 When you accept 75 01:02:19,125 --> 01:02:20,958 someone's behavior as truth, 76 01:02:21,500 --> 01:02:23,291 you stop trying to manage them. 77 01:02:23,583 --> 01:02:24,583 You stop trying to fix them 78 01:02:24,583 --> 01:02:26,416 or earn better treatment from them. 79 01:02:26,875 --> 01:02:29,250 And that shift, it creates peace. 80 01:02:29,833 --> 01:02:31,625 She also addresses how often 81 01:02:31,625 --> 01:02:32,750 that we take other people's 82 01:02:32,750 --> 01:02:34,375 actions personally, right? 83 01:02:34,916 --> 01:02:36,208 Someone's lack of effort 84 01:02:36,208 --> 01:02:37,250 or lack of availability 85 01:02:37,500 --> 01:02:38,750 or even kindness. 86 01:02:38,750 --> 01:02:40,875 It's not a referendum on your worth. 87 01:02:41,208 --> 01:02:43,750 It's information about their capacity. 88 01:02:44,291 --> 01:02:45,083 When you stop chasing 89 01:02:45,083 --> 01:02:46,333 people who are showing you 90 01:02:46,333 --> 01:02:47,083 that they can't or 91 01:02:47,083 --> 01:02:48,375 that they won't meet you 92 01:02:48,416 --> 01:02:51,500 where you are, your energy, it returns. 93 01:02:52,166 --> 01:02:53,000 So this chapter is 94 01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:54,500 about emotional maturity. 95 01:02:54,791 --> 01:02:56,416 It's about recognizing when you're 96 01:02:56,416 --> 01:02:58,083 negotiating with reality 97 01:02:58,541 --> 01:02:59,541 and choosing instead 98 01:02:59,541 --> 01:03:01,750 to respond to it, okay? 99 01:03:02,166 --> 01:03:04,291 Mel reminds readers that disappointment 100 01:03:04,666 --> 01:03:05,583 usually comes from 101 01:03:05,583 --> 01:03:07,583 expectation, not from behavior. 102 01:03:08,250 --> 01:03:10,375 When you let people be who they are, 103 01:03:10,708 --> 01:03:11,875 you can make decisions 104 01:03:11,875 --> 01:03:13,833 from truth instead of hope. 105 01:03:14,541 --> 01:03:15,500 Okay, here it is. 106 01:03:15,750 --> 01:03:16,958 Your Thursday takeaway. 107 01:03:17,625 --> 01:03:19,708 When people show you who they are, 108 01:03:20,166 --> 01:03:21,500 believe them and 109 01:03:21,500 --> 01:03:23,291 choose peace over potential. 110 01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:25,291 All right, well, don't 111 01:03:25,291 --> 01:03:26,958 overcomplicate things today. 112 01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:27,916 Instead, just give a few 113 01:03:27,916 --> 01:03:29,500 extra hugs to people, okay? 114 01:03:29,750 --> 01:03:31,000 Remember, you need four 115 01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:32,166 hugs a day for survival, 116 01:03:32,583 --> 01:03:34,000 eight hugs a day for maintenance, 117 01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:36,833 and 12 hugs a day for psychological 118 01:03:36,833 --> 01:03:38,083 growth and development. 119 01:03:38,875 --> 01:03:39,833 All right, well, now 120 01:03:39,833 --> 01:03:40,708 it's time for the prize 121 01:03:40,708 --> 01:03:42,125 from the bottom of the cereal box, 122 01:03:42,125 --> 01:03:42,875 the morning cereal 123 01:03:42,875 --> 01:03:44,916 trivia question of the day. 124 01:03:44,916 --> 01:03:45,416 Here it is. 125 01:03:45,958 --> 01:03:46,916 What is the distance 126 01:03:46,916 --> 01:03:49,000 between the Earth and the moon? 127 01:03:49,708 --> 01:03:51,458 All right, hey, thanks for listening to 128 01:03:51,458 --> 01:03:52,541 morning cereal today. 129 01:03:52,541 --> 01:03:53,916 We will see you back here tomorrow 130 01:03:54,125 --> 01:03:55,500 for the answer to the trivia question 131 01:03:55,875 --> 01:03:57,833 and for more sugar for your soul. 132 01:03:57,833 --> 01:04:00,833 And until then, have a fantastic day. 133 01:04:02,083 --> 01:04:03,625 Don't forget to follow and subscribe 134 01:04:03,625 --> 01:04:05,166 to the morning cereal podcast 135 01:04:05,416 --> 01:04:07,125 on the One Life Live It channel. 136 01:04:07,625 --> 01:04:09,333 You can find more episodes and videos 137 01:04:09,333 --> 01:04:10,333 by visiting our YouTube 138 01:04:10,333 --> 01:04:11,625 channel and the website 139 01:04:11,791 --> 01:04:14,625 at seaningless and at seaningless.com, 140 01:04:15,083 --> 01:04:15,750 where you can also 141 01:04:15,750 --> 01:04:17,166 follow our other podcasts, 142 01:04:17,500 --> 01:04:18,708 the Mr. and Mrs. English podcast 143 01:04:19,250 --> 01:04:20,416 and the Life Happens podcast. 144 01:04:21,208 --> 01:04:23,375 And these other podcasts will dive deeper 145 01:04:23,375 --> 01:04:25,291 into everyday issues, self-improvement, 146 01:04:25,333 --> 01:04:26,916 well-being, business and finance, 147 01:04:27,416 --> 01:04:29,083 and we welcome special guests too. 148 01:04:29,583 --> 01:04:30,333 So join us. 149 01:04:30,333 --> 01:04:31,625 It'll be a good time, I promise. 150 01:04:32,333 --> 01:04:33,250 Thanks again for listening. 151 01:04:33,458 --> 01:04:35,000 Have a fantastic day and 152 01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:35,541 we'll see you tomorrow.