Dancing With Depression

In today’s episode, I discuss the CDs spinning in my 5-disc changer and explore their profound impact on me. I highlight three songs, each unique in genre, lyrics, and emotional resonance. Relating to a song is a deeply personal and emotional experience shaped by the powerful connection between the lyrics, melody, and the listener's own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Join me as I unpack the diverse ways these songs touch my life and reflect on the universal power of music.

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More about this episode: "The Impact of Songs & “The One” That Spoke for Me"

We all have “our jams”, you know the songs that you can’t not dance to or stop yourself from crying – one can connect with a song for a variety of reasons: 

Relating to a song is a deeply personal and emotional experience that can vary from person to person. It often involves a strong connection between the lyrics, melody, and the listener's own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Here are some ways in which someone can relate to a song:

1.     Lyrics: Many people relate to songs through the lyrics. When the words of a song resonate with someone's own experiences or emotions, it can create a powerful connection. Whether it's a breakup, a celebration, or a reflection on life, lyrics can capture the essence of a particular moment or feeling.
2.     Emotional resonance: Music has the unique ability to tap into our emotions and stir up deep-seated feelings. A song that mirrors your current emotional state or helps you express what you're feeling can be incredibly relatable. It's like the song is giving voice to your emotions.
3.     Personal experiences: Sometimes, a song can evoke memories and transport you back to a particular time and place in your life. When a song is linked to a specific memory or period, it can create a strong sense of connection.
4.     Themes and stories: Songs often tell stories or convey themes that are universally relatable. Whether it's a song about love, friendship, loss, or resilience, these themes can connect with a wide range of listeners who have experienced similar situations.
5.     Cultural and societal context: A song can also reflect the cultural or societal context in which it was created. It may address social issues, capture the spirit of a generation, or comment on current events. Listeners who identify with these contexts may find the song relatable in a broader sense.
6.     Musical elements: It's not always about the lyrics or the theme of a song. The music itself, including the melody, rhythm, and instrumentation, can evoke emotions and resonate with listeners. A simple melody can be just as relatable as profound lyrics.
7.     Identity and self-expression: Some songs can become anthems for individuals or communities, helping people express their identities or beliefs. These songs serve as a form of self-expression and create a sense of belonging.
8.     Interpretation and perspective: The same song can be interpreted in different ways by different people, depending on their unique perspectives and experiences. This allows for a diverse range of listeners to relate to a song in their own distinct manner.
9.     Personal growth and change: Songs that reflect personal growth, transformation, or overcoming challenges can be particularly relatable during times of change or self-discovery. They may serve as sources of inspiration and motivation.
10.  Connection with the artist: Sometimes, people relate to a song because they have a deep admiration for the artist. Their connection to the artist's life story, struggles, or creative journey can make the song more relatable.

In the end, relating to a song is a subjective and highly personal experience. It's about finding a piece of music that resonates with your emotions, experiences, and the unique story of your life. Music has the power to connect us with ourselves and others, providing solace, joy, and a sense of belonging in the process.
 
What song or song(s) do you connect with? 

How does it make you feel? 

Where does it take you? 

Who do you think of?

There are hundreds of songs that I connect with, but 3 songs that stand out – although  the genre, the message & the time in my life I was introduced to vary…they are all equally impactful! 

The first song that hits me is C.R.E.A.M by Wu-Tang Clan…I’ll let that sit for a second, not because I’m a 47 year old white guy from Connecticut…no wait that is EXACTLY why I will let you catch up.  If you have ever been to a Wu-Tang concert you wouldn’t really be surprised hearing a 47 year old white guy likes them – I’ve had the pleasure of seeing them twice – the 1st time they played with Rage Against the Machine and the 2nd time was 25 years later as they celebrated the release of 36 Chambers album.  The ONLY difference I saw – we all aged – some of us only 25 years, while others a little more!  Just like it was 25 years earlier, the crowd was a melting pot of people from all walks of life.  We all came together to appreciate great music! 

Connecting with a song, for me, can be in a few different ways.  The music, a hook or the lyrics as a whole can speak to me. I connect via the music for a lot of hip-hop songs, but when it comes to C.R.E.A.M it’s the message the hook delivers and I think that is important to understand, because if someone hears me singing “It’s been 22 long hard years of still strugglin’” --- “We got stickup kids, corrupt cops, and crack rocks  And stray shots, all on the block that stays hot” or “handcuffed in back of a bus, 40 of us” no one would be able to understand how I am “relating” to the lyrics.  However, when the hook comes in “Cash Rules Everything around me – CREAM get the money Dollar, Dollar bill, y’all”  it speaks directly to me.  If I wanted the new Air Jordan’s I needed money, if I wanted a car – I needed money, if I wanted to buy a house instead of renting – I needed more money --- then I started my sales career and Cash LITERALLY RULED EVERYTHING AROUND ME…there aren’t many things that can’t be taken care of with a little more cash. I don’t want to turn this into a debate, but I’ve heard the argument that money can’t buy you love & I agree with you on that, buuuuuuuuuuut it has bought things that resemble “love” – all kidding aside the other one I hear is – It can’t buy you time/health…I agree it can’t buy you perfect health or an unlimited amount of time, but money can buy better health care which leads to living longer…just ask Magic Johnson!!!  

The next song that I connect with on a deep level is Shania Twain’s “From This Moment On” – this is Bobbie & I’s wedding song! I get chills just thinking about it.  Our love story doesn’t start until our late 30’s as I met Bobbie when she was 37 & I was 39. We met on JDATE (a Jewish Dating Website) – and this love story happens QUICK.  I liked her profile, and wrote to her introducing myself…and I didn’t get a response. I looked the next day NOTHING – day 3 I thought to myself I’m too old for this shit – I read the book about dating and guys are suppose to wait 2-3 days before calling, so they don’t look “desperate”.  I didn’t read the chapter about what the girl was suppose to do when a guy likes their profile enough to email them!!!  I, like many times before, was frustrated – I know it’s ONLY a picture and what she decided to write for a profile…but in the words of USHER “I had it BAD” for her…so a week goes by and all I can think to do is question if my email offended her or if she was locked up in someone’s basement…I no longer checked my emails with the hopes that she responded. It had been 6 days since I sent the email to my future wife or so I thought…..then it happened I saw an email from JDATE and it was her!!! Now I was nervous that she was just a sweet girl that was going to let me down nicely…I was excited and nervous to open it up and read what she wrote. I decided to take the PULL IT OFF LIKE A BAND-AID approach – and whatever it was it was!!!  My heart was racing…I took a deep breath opened my eyes and saw that in took 6 days because she had written a novel about her and how she saw our lives together…happily ever after. Actually she wrote 2 sentences – one to let me know she was still working on her profile and the other to let me know my request to see her smile was also being worked on.  THAT – WAS – IT!!! Obviously we did connect – we wrote & spoke on the phone for about 2 weeks before setting a day to meet face to face…This is where things speed up – I picked her up at her house (hint 1 she trusted me), when she walked out of her house and towards my car I knew I wanted to marry her & just had to hope I didn’t do anything to screw it up!!!  We had labeled this as a meeting and not a date. The 1st date came a week later, then I proposed 36 days after that…we have been married 7 ½ years…as I like to say “it’s NOT everyones love story; it is ours and I LOVE IT!!!”

From the very 1st line and every line after it – tells OUR love story!!!

“From this moment, life has begun” - 

 I genuinely felt that everything that had happened in my life leading up to that point was just preparing me for when I met Bobbie. Making sure I would appreciate, respect & honor her.

“From this moment, you are the one”  

I was thankful for my previous relationships, but NEVER felt for someone the way I felt about Bobbie. She is sweet, funny, caring, beautiful and she “gets me”. 

“Right beside you is where I belong”

I picture us standing side by side at our wedding & throughout our lives together

Skip to “I can’t wait to live my life with you, can’t wait to start….my dreams came true because of you” 

We continue to make each other’s dreams come true…That is what makes this the perfect song for our love journey.

The 3rd song may touch you in a way it touched me…the name of the song is “Numb Little Bug” by Em Beihold – it came out in Jan 2022.  I share that because I started dancing with my depression back in 2015. For 7 years I couldn’t find the words to express how I was feeling…there were words at the tip of my tongue but they wouldn’t come out. I believe largely in part to what we were taught about Mental Health – don’t talk about it.  

I remember driving in the car on a Southern Winter day and this song, I had never heard, comes on. Which was surprising because I listen to radio stations that play the same 5 songs over & over & over again.  That day was strange because I typically need to hear a song 3-4 times before I determine if I like it…but this one captured my attention with the opening lyrics…and held me captive throughout the entire song.  I was like a bobble head that couldn’t stop shaking my head YES YES That is how I feel, but I can’t say it because then people would know…they would know that I’m battling, dealing, often times struggling with my depression…and that could get me fired – right?

I wasn’t interested in learning why I felt like crawling into a hole and being by myself, I just wanted to not feel that way!!! It was difficult to bring up because I couldn’t put my feelings into words.  It felt like I was trying to explain to a mechanic what was wrong with my car based on the noises it was making and wanting the mechanic to understand what needed to be fixed – and tell me how much it was going to cost?!?!?! 

The song starts out:

I don’t feel a single thing;
Have the pills done too much?
Haven’t caught up with my friends in weeks
And now we’re out of touch
 
Growing up I was “afraid” of drugs…as I grew older I learned the difference between recreational drugs and prescription drugs & when used as instructed by a professional drugs could help with an aliment. I still was very cautious and used prescribe drugs only when I felt helpless and wanted the pain, illness, etc. to stop.  After a few months of being on an anxiety medication I noticed that I was dealing with life better than I had just a few months earlier.  It felt as though things around me were slowing down…after a few years taking the medication I questioned if this was going to be my life forever – reliant on medication for my anxiety. I still wonder that…
 
Then I hear:
 
Do you ever get a little bit tired of life?
 Like you're not really happy, but you don't wanna die
 Like you're hanging by a thread, but you gotta survive
 'Cause you gotta survive
 
I couldn’t believe what I just heard – what I couldn’t convey in 7 years was not only said but it was part of a song on Pop Radio!!! The song continues and I am hanging onto EVERY word – looking for the “answers” I had been seeking for 7 years!!!  And Em Doesn’t disappoint:
 
Like your body's in the room, but you're not really there
Like you have empathy inside, but you don't really care
Like you're fresh out of love, but it's been in the air
Am I past repair?
 
I became so emotional and was crying happy tears as the song continued to play.  

Creators & Guests

QS
Producer
QuietLoud Studios
A podcast network where reflection and voice come together.

What is Dancing With Depression?

Welcome to Dancing With Depression. This is a podcast dedicated to opening up the conversation about mental health, focusing specifically on depression. I was diagnosed with depression in 2015.

I've realized how crucial it is to talk openly about this topic, breaking its stigma. Like taboo subjects such as income, politics, or religion, depression should not be off-limits.

Through sharing my journey, from my upbringing to my personal experiences and moments of vulnerability, I aim to convey that it's okay to feel this way. We are not alone, and most importantly, we did nothing wrong. Depression doesn't confine itself to a specific upbringing, socio-economic status, or background. I hope my stories encourage others to share their own experiences, highlighting how depression affects not just individuals but their loved ones as well.

Every day with depression is different for me. Some days, it's a mild waltz; other days, it can start with a tap dance, shift into a Salsa, and by noon, I’m a Ballet dancer – leaping, bending, lifting (the weight of my depression), and balancing myself on the tips of my toes all while spinning rapidly.

I invite you to join me as we navigate the complex dance with depression together, all while striving to Take The Lead!