1 01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:01,041 (upbeat music) 2 01:00:01,291 --> 01:00:02,166 Good morning. 3 01:00:04,041 --> 01:00:05,875 And welcome to Morning Serial. 4 01:00:12,041 --> 01:00:14,875 Okay, good morning and welcome to Monday. 5 01:00:15,083 --> 01:00:18,000 We are back and if you got out of bed 6 01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:19,041 on the first alarm this 7 01:00:19,041 --> 01:00:20,125 morning, congratulations, 8 01:00:20,916 --> 01:00:21,958 you're already 9 01:00:21,958 --> 01:00:23,500 outperforming half the country. 10 01:00:23,875 --> 01:00:25,125 And if you hit that snooze 11 01:00:25,125 --> 01:00:26,666 button three times or so, 12 01:00:26,666 --> 01:00:28,500 well, you know, that's a bold strategy. 13 01:00:28,791 --> 01:00:29,791 Let's just see how that 14 01:00:29,791 --> 01:00:30,958 one plays out for you. 15 01:00:31,500 --> 01:00:32,458 Well, let's kick things 16 01:00:32,458 --> 01:00:33,625 off with today's spark 17 01:00:33,625 --> 01:00:34,416 and it comes from 18 01:00:34,416 --> 01:00:37,000 director Peter Jackson who said, 19 01:00:37,416 --> 01:00:40,500 if you never start, you will never know. 20 01:00:41,166 --> 01:00:43,750 So even if you're not directing hobbits 21 01:00:43,750 --> 01:00:45,000 across Middle Earth, 22 01:00:45,333 --> 01:00:47,000 the message here is solid. 23 01:00:47,416 --> 01:00:48,541 You will not discover 24 01:00:48,541 --> 01:00:49,541 your true potential, 25 01:00:50,041 --> 01:00:51,333 the outcome of a new 26 01:00:51,333 --> 01:00:53,958 endeavor or what you are capable of 27 01:00:54,250 --> 01:00:55,708 if you let fear or 28 01:00:55,708 --> 01:00:57,541 overthinking prevent you 29 01:00:57,958 --> 01:00:59,333 from taking that first step. 30 01:01:00,083 --> 01:01:01,666 Action over inaction, people. 31 01:01:02,250 --> 01:01:03,250 All right, well, here 32 01:01:03,250 --> 01:01:04,500 are your four moments 33 01:01:04,708 --> 01:01:06,833 that matter for December 1st. 34 01:01:07,041 --> 01:01:10,000 Number one, in 2003, this is when "The 35 01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:11,375 Return of the King", 36 01:01:11,375 --> 01:01:13,041 the third and final film in 37 01:01:13,041 --> 01:01:14,416 the "Lord of the Rings" series 38 01:01:14,541 --> 01:01:15,250 directed by Peter 39 01:01:15,250 --> 01:01:16,666 Jackson and it was starting, 40 01:01:16,708 --> 01:01:18,083 Elijah Wood and Ian McKellen. 41 01:01:18,583 --> 01:01:20,000 Well, it premiered in 42 01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:21,208 Wellington, New Zealand. 43 01:01:21,791 --> 01:01:22,166 All right, number 44 01:01:22,166 --> 01:01:24,500 two, today's national day 45 01:01:24,791 --> 01:01:26,041 is the Rockefeller 46 01:01:26,041 --> 01:01:27,916 Christmas Tree Lighting Day. 47 01:01:28,208 --> 01:01:29,250 It's the official kickoff 48 01:01:29,250 --> 01:01:30,583 to the Christmas season, 49 01:01:30,958 --> 01:01:32,833 even though I know we all kind of cheated 50 01:01:33,208 --> 01:01:34,833 and we started last weekend, 51 01:01:34,833 --> 01:01:35,833 maybe even a little 52 01:01:35,833 --> 01:01:36,833 bit before Thanksgiving. 53 01:01:37,375 --> 01:01:38,750 Oh, and don't forget, 54 01:01:38,958 --> 01:01:40,875 it's also Cyber Monday. 55 01:01:41,125 --> 01:01:43,750 So you better log on at some point today 56 01:01:43,750 --> 01:01:45,750 and find some great deals out there. 57 01:01:46,083 --> 01:01:47,000 All right, here's number three. 58 01:01:47,333 --> 01:01:48,708 The number one song on 59 01:01:48,708 --> 01:01:50,500 this date back in 1986 60 01:01:50,833 --> 01:01:53,500 was "Walk This Way" by Run DMC. 61 01:01:53,791 --> 01:01:55,666 Now this was the beginning of a new era 62 01:01:55,833 --> 01:01:57,250 and who could forget 63 01:01:57,250 --> 01:01:58,750 the intro guitar riff. 64 01:01:59,333 --> 01:02:00,208 All right, here's number four. 65 01:02:00,708 --> 01:02:02,166 Happy birthday to you if 66 01:02:02,166 --> 01:02:03,291 today is your birthday. 67 01:02:03,291 --> 01:02:05,083 You share it with actor, 68 01:02:05,083 --> 01:02:06,750 musician and style icon, 69 01:02:06,750 --> 01:02:09,000 Zoe Kravitz, she's just 36 today. 70 01:02:09,541 --> 01:02:12,000 Comedian and actress, Sarah Silverman, 71 01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:13,500 she's just 55 today. 72 01:02:14,416 --> 01:02:15,666 Singer, performer and 73 01:02:15,666 --> 01:02:17,916 absolute legend, Bette Midler, 74 01:02:17,916 --> 01:02:19,291 she's 80 today. 75 01:02:19,750 --> 01:02:20,666 Okay, well, let's shift 76 01:02:20,666 --> 01:02:22,000 gears into Mel Robbins 77 01:02:22,208 --> 01:02:23,250 that let them theory. 78 01:02:23,708 --> 01:02:24,958 Now today we're covering 79 01:02:24,958 --> 01:02:26,500 and starting a new chapter, 80 01:02:27,250 --> 01:02:28,708 chapter 11, which is entitled 81 01:02:29,041 --> 01:02:30,916 "The Truth No One Told You 82 01:02:30,916 --> 01:02:32,625 About Adult Friendships." 83 01:02:33,083 --> 01:02:35,375 Now this is where Mel finally says the 84 01:02:35,375 --> 01:02:36,791 quiet part out loud. 85 01:02:37,500 --> 01:02:39,125 Adult friendships, they're 86 01:02:39,125 --> 01:02:40,500 weird, they're complicated 87 01:02:40,750 --> 01:02:42,833 and usually nothing like the 88 01:02:42,833 --> 01:02:44,333 ones we grew up with, okay? 89 01:02:44,791 --> 01:02:46,166 Now Robbins opens up 90 01:02:46,166 --> 01:02:47,750 with this truth, okay? 91 01:02:47,750 --> 01:02:49,375 We all recognize it, 92 01:02:49,375 --> 01:02:50,958 but we seldom admit it. 93 01:02:51,333 --> 01:02:52,833 "No one tells you 94 01:02:52,833 --> 01:02:54,833 friendships will change as dramatically 95 01:02:55,458 --> 01:02:57,333 as everything else in adulthood." 96 01:02:58,625 --> 01:03:00,708 We expect careers to shift. 97 01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:02,875 We expect families to evolve 98 01:03:02,875 --> 01:03:04,125 and our priorities to 99 01:03:04,125 --> 01:03:06,083 rearrange, but friendships, 100 01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:09,333 those were supposed to stay easy, right? 101 01:03:09,791 --> 01:03:11,666 No, instead, Robbins explains 102 01:03:11,666 --> 01:03:14,000 that adult life adds layers, 103 01:03:14,583 --> 01:03:15,666 adds responsibilities, 104 01:03:16,416 --> 01:03:17,541 there's time scarcity, 105 01:03:17,791 --> 01:03:18,625 there's emotional 106 01:03:18,625 --> 01:03:20,666 bandwidths and expectations 107 01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:22,833 that we often don't even voice. 108 01:03:23,458 --> 01:03:24,958 So she points out that the 109 01:03:24,958 --> 01:03:26,500 friction in adult friendships 110 01:03:26,916 --> 01:03:28,916 rarely means something is wrong. 111 01:03:28,916 --> 01:03:31,250 It usually means that life has moved 112 01:03:31,416 --> 01:03:34,166 and we haven't adjusted our expectations. 113 01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:36,208 She writes, quote, "Most 114 01:03:36,208 --> 01:03:38,083 frustrations in friendships 115 01:03:38,250 --> 01:03:39,166 come from assuming 116 01:03:39,166 --> 01:03:41,000 someone else is supposed to play 117 01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:43,833 the same role they used to," end quote. 118 01:03:44,416 --> 01:03:46,833 Now that line alone can save people years 119 01:03:47,083 --> 01:03:48,125 of hurt feelings. 120 01:03:48,875 --> 01:03:50,083 Robbins encourages the 121 01:03:50,083 --> 01:03:51,833 readers to take a compassionate look 122 01:03:51,833 --> 01:03:53,208 at themselves and others. 123 01:03:53,583 --> 01:03:54,541 Instead of viewing a 124 01:03:54,541 --> 01:03:56,500 drifting friendship as rejection, 125 01:03:56,958 --> 01:03:59,750 she reframes it as part of the natural 126 01:03:59,750 --> 01:04:00,875 rhythm of adulthood. 127 01:04:01,250 --> 01:04:02,791 The foundation of the let 128 01:04:02,791 --> 01:04:04,791 them theory pops up again here, 129 01:04:04,791 --> 01:04:06,791 quote, "Let people be 130 01:04:06,791 --> 01:04:08,125 where they are in life, 131 01:04:08,666 --> 01:04:10,083 even if where they are isn't 132 01:04:10,083 --> 01:04:11,791 where you want them to be," 133 01:04:12,083 --> 01:04:12,541 end quote. 134 01:04:13,083 --> 01:04:14,208 So this intro is 135 01:04:14,208 --> 01:04:15,916 essentially, it's a warmup. 136 01:04:16,250 --> 01:04:17,583 It sets the stage for 137 01:04:17,583 --> 01:04:20,000 understanding how friendships evolved 138 01:04:20,250 --> 01:04:22,166 without blaming yourself or others. 139 01:04:22,541 --> 01:04:23,666 It invites us to stop 140 01:04:23,666 --> 01:04:25,208 trying to force the closeness 141 01:04:25,208 --> 01:04:27,666 that we had at 17 into the 142 01:04:27,666 --> 01:04:31,000 schedules we have at 37 or 57. 143 01:04:31,500 --> 01:04:33,416 Okay, here's your Monday takeaway. 144 01:04:34,333 --> 01:04:36,291 Adult friendships aren't broken. 145 01:04:36,291 --> 01:04:36,875 They're simply 146 01:04:36,875 --> 01:04:39,291 evolving and life gets easier 147 01:04:39,291 --> 01:04:41,958 when you allow them to shift naturally. 148 01:04:42,541 --> 01:04:44,666 All right, friends, go start your Monday 149 01:04:44,958 --> 01:04:46,166 like Peter Jackson would, 150 01:04:46,500 --> 01:04:48,500 directing your life your way. 151 01:04:48,708 --> 01:04:49,625 Mine is those orcs. 152 01:04:50,041 --> 01:04:51,750 Well, thanks for hanging out with us on 153 01:04:51,750 --> 01:04:52,666 Morning Serial today. 154 01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:54,583 We will see you back here tomorrow. 155 01:04:55,166 --> 01:04:57,916 And until then, have a fantastic day. 156 01:04:59,375 --> 01:05:00,916 Don't forget to follow and subscribe 157 01:05:00,916 --> 01:05:03,083 to the Morning Serial podcast on the One 158 01:05:03,083 --> 01:05:04,458 Life Live It channel. 159 01:05:04,916 --> 01:05:06,583 You can find more episodes and videos 160 01:05:06,583 --> 01:05:07,625 by visiting our YouTube 161 01:05:07,625 --> 01:05:08,916 channel and the website 162 01:05:09,083 --> 01:05:12,083 at seaninglis and at seaninglis.com, 163 01:05:12,375 --> 01:05:13,041 where you can also 164 01:05:13,041 --> 01:05:14,416 follow our other podcast, 165 01:05:14,750 --> 01:05:16,000 the Mr. and Mrs. English podcast 166 01:05:16,500 --> 01:05:17,708 and the Life Happens podcast. 167 01:05:18,541 --> 01:05:20,666 And these other podcasts will dive deeper 168 01:05:20,666 --> 01:05:22,625 into everyday issues, self-improvement, 169 01:05:22,625 --> 01:05:24,208 and well-being, business and finance. 170 01:05:24,833 --> 01:05:26,375 And we welcome special guests too. 171 01:05:26,916 --> 01:05:27,625 So join us. 172 01:05:27,625 --> 01:05:28,958 It'll be a good time, I promise. 173 01:05:29,625 --> 01:05:30,541 Thanks again for listening. 174 01:05:30,750 --> 01:05:32,333 Have a fantastic day and 175 01:05:32,333 --> 01:05:32,833 we'll see you tomorrow.