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High performers and people pleasers tend to have difficulties setting boundaries. There is a fear that if we do, we will have that person leave us or abandon us. It’s important to realize that when you do eventually set a boundary that you haven’t before, the people who will get most upset are the people who were taking advantage of you in the first place. The people who are benefiting from you really don’t want you to set a boundary! The very first type of boundary is a physical boundary. You have every right to decide how you want to be touched and by who, and who is allowed within your space. There are also material boundaries, which gives other people access to your material possessions. You have all the power in deciding who gets to come into your house, and who you like to loan items to. The third boundary to consider is a sexual boundary. You get to decide when you want to engage in sexual intimacy, and this applies to both males and females. The fourth boundary is around your mental state. This gives you permission over what you think; to not let others dictate your opinions to you. The fifth boundary consists of your emotional needs and being in charge of your own feelings. You can also set an emotional boundary for others where they’re in charge of their own feelings (you do not take their emotions on as a burden). The sixth boundary is around relationships, which gives you the choice of who you want to spend time with. If someone is not giving you what you need, then that might be the perfect time to set that relational boundary. The seventh personal boundary to focus on is your spiritual connection. What are your beliefs? Are the people around you respecting those beliefs? The eighth boundary is financial. This can be both for yourself personally or for others on how you want to show up financially. The final boundary is time. If you feel resentful or frustrated by how others take up your time, you have the choice to say no. Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com
High performers and people pleasers tend to have difficulties setting boundaries. There is a fear that if we do, we will have that person leave us or abandon us. It’s important to realize that when you do eventually set a boundary that you haven’t before, the people who will get most upset are the people who were taking advantage of you in the first place. The people who are benefiting from you really don’t want you to set a boundary!
The very first type of boundary is a physical boundary. You have every right to decide how you want to be touched and by who, and who is allowed within your space. There are also material boundaries, which gives other people access to your material possessions. You have all the power in deciding who gets to come into your house, and who you like to loan items to.
The third boundary to consider is a sexual boundary. You get to decide when you want to engage in sexual intimacy, and this applies to both males and females. The fourth boundary is around your mental state. This gives you permission over what you think; to not let others dictate your opinions to you. The fifth boundary consists of your emotional needs and being in charge of your own feelings. You can also set an emotional boundary for others where they’re in charge of their own feelings (you do not take their emotions on as a burden).
The sixth boundary is around relationships, which gives you the choice of who you want to spend time with. If someone is not giving you what you need, then that might be the perfect time to set that relational boundary. The seventh personal boundary to focus on is your spiritual connection. What are your beliefs? Are the people around you respecting those beliefs? The eighth boundary is financial. This can be both for yourself personally or for others on how you want to show up financially. The final boundary is time. If you feel resentful or frustrated by how others take up your time, you have the choice to say no.
Continue Your Growth Journey:
Kamini Wood works with high achievers on letting go of stress, overwhelm and anxiety that comes with trying to do everything, and trying to do it all perfectly