Friends of Fini podcast 154.
We're going to start with a beautiful song.
The Soulful Force theme song.
So of course that's where you will find the answers
to so many questions floating around your mind.
In the summer forest, there's so much to see and do.
A list of all the songs.
Forest you discover, you.
Find the tranquil tree with me.
That's where new friendships start.
And it's really interesting.
And you'll go right.
And there were jokes about today's boy
hunting time, and you'll learn.
In the tranquil
tree, you'll discover how you can.
We. Here, look. Come on. Take over you.
So you be alone.
And then you find your matters.
Someone's left your flat.
The foreigners swing it over to you after you take care of them.
That you fly with me to the forest
where there should be stacks of songs and story.
Safety and serenity. The song
is when all your dreams come true.
I know when.
I sign, you.
Up. I thank you for joining us.
Good night everyone. No, that was beautiful.
And, Christine, you wrote you sang that, and you hit the high pitch and everything.
I did.
Wow, that was beautiful. That was so good.
Thank you.
And David Freeman wrote it. Yes, David.
Go ahead.
A dear friend, David Friedman, who is, written for Broadway in Disney
and lots of films and, he's a good friend of ours who is
just as committed to supporting the health and well-being of children
and their families as we are so nice to be part of everything that we do
well. Welcome.
Feeney talks with friends.
This is episode 154.
I'm honored to be speaking with some really good friends.
We have.
Tara,
Terry and Christina.
Sorry. Tara. Tara. Tara.
To my left. You're right.
Terry. Christina.
That was Christina singing with her beautiful voice.
We'll start with Christina.
a new soul song. Yes.
Where did you get the inspiration?
Well, you told me.
This is so exciting and so fitting.
And what a coincidence.
Listen to this, listeners.
Where did you learn to love singing?
I grew up in West Hartford, and I went to Wolcott Elementary School.
Let's go. This is Rossetti.
Many years ago was the music music teacher, and she called my parents
one day and said, hey, your daughter loves to sing.
She's good at it.
You need to really support her and nurture this talent.
And they did. And
looking back, I'm just so grateful that my parents listened.
Not all parents listened.
And, to have my parents really listened to
that and support, that was a true gift.
Truly. Yeah. That's amazing.
Small world.
Woke at school and listeners know that I've been there for 13 years.
My daughters went there.
I teach there to have them both at the same time was a dream come true.
Walk. It's a special place.
And being a teacher, that's amazing to me.
Like if you have a kid that has a passion, whether it be art,
archery, dance, you just give them the opportunity.
And that's what your parents did.
And here we are, and you have a beautiful, beautiful voice.
The best teachers and parents team together and support the children.
I think that's the best way a child can be raised is your partnership.
You know, it's to support the health and well-being of the children in your care.
As parents and teachers.
So it's, as a teacher, thank you for. Yeah.
And how did you connect with the soulful Forest?
Terry and I have been friends for many years, and,
And I share a passion of helping children and their families.
And, we were at a restaurant one day
and just having a meal, and we said, what can we create?
Can we create something to help children and their families?
And this idea of creating this and actually originally was supposed
to be like digital, where thinking it was going to be some online thing.
And that's where this whole map came about.
And we said, gee, you know what?
If we had and it was fun.
It was like gratitude, garden camp kindness.
And it was just all trying to coming up with all these
different ways to say things, river resilience and mindful mountain.
And, you know, so it was really, really fun, fun process.
It took us a while.
And then some, some great starts.
Can I tell you about this?
Oh, let's do it.
Yes. The only way into the the forest is through the garden of gratitude.
Because we know all the things started. Gratitude.
We want to spend a lot of time at the top of mindful Mountain,
at the top of mindfulness, where you to trick or treat here and now.
You don't regret yesterday and you don't fear.
That's one of the the keys for emotional and mental health.
To stay present,
we have to go down the river of resilience because there's loss and fear and grief.
But we always end up down at the calm waters of the reflecting pool,
which is where we can see our reflection and see what we've learned along the way.
Sometimes we spend time where we learn to honor
the sadness and the emotions that come from the loss.
This is one of my favorite places.
It's called the field of forgiveness. It's where we learn to laugh
and forgive.
When we love accepting forgive ourselves, we can love accepting.
Forgive others.
This is my other favorite place that you need all the time on highway 84 for.
Tranquil tree is where children
have the the mental picture of sitting underneath the tree
to get space between how they feel and what they choose to do and say.
That emotional regulation is so important.
Once we teach it to children, we're going to teach it to,
Congress.
Diversity universities where we don't just tolerate or understand differences.
It's where we learn to celebrate the differences and the
well nest clinic is run by a birthing doctor,
and she teaches children how to take care of their bodies and camp.
Kindness is where we learn compassion and civility.
You always want to avoid camp Chaos at Valley Acres Farm,
where everyone is constantly alarmed and usually on screen.
So she and I spent time.
She and I spent time coming up, but there was a lot of coffee.
We were jacked up a lot.
So when we came up with this stuff
and then we said, okay, now we've got this, what do we do with it?
And we ended up doing three things with it.
We ended up creating the healing.
And again, this,
has David songs and her amazing voice in her heart and soul healing
for children that have come to the death of a loved one.
And a little bird shows up, a little bird.
And then there's music and videos by a group of friends called the sweethearts,
and they help children.
That has gone out to almost
a thousand children across the country in children's prayer centers.
And so that has been an incredible manifestation.
The other thing that we came up with is, the soulful Grandmother Gate.
We go into third grade classrooms, we're coming to your mom.
And that again features Christina's music.
There's a song that she sings called We Can Be Kind,
and the kids sing along with that.
It's like a it's like Woodstock, you know, or everybody's kind of dance.
It's just so, so fun.
The teachers seem to like it, so we're going to come to that.
And then, the other thing that we have created from
this is a substance misuse, program.
And the reason that we created it is there are 19 million children right now
living in homes where, someone in the home
is struggling with substance misuse, and that creates
chaos. And,
it's a tough place to live.
And that is truly the report.
And so we came up with Tamara and I worked on this together.
And we're just going to do this
like I'm talking about. No,
this is something counselors are using.
I can't control it.
I can't cure it.
I can take care of myself by communicating my feelings,
making good choices, and celebrating myself.
I think the most important one right there is the top one,
and we can use that in so many situations.
You can, can I do?
So the, the, the two purposes of the substance misuse program
is getting children to know the sentences and then helping society in general
change our language regarding addiction, because the change of language,
when we change how we go about it, it changes how we think about it,
it changes how to feel about it,
and then it changes what we do as individuals and as a society.
And working with Tara has been amazing.
We came up with a guidebook for children that we have been giving out to kids
that are living in these situations, and then,
manual tours.
So, that's what has manifested from the forest.
And we're having,
my husband calls this the most
expensive mental.
He might be right,
but it's me off the streets, and then I meet all kinds of people.
Yeah, it started out with this.
An amazing program for children and emotional regulation.
And you talk about that?
Yeah.
So David Friedman and I, put together a YouTube series,
and I wanted it to be a free resource, and it's called Christina's Cottage.
I liken it to like a newer Mr.
Rogers, but a woman.
And it's a safe place where children and families can go.
And it's got fun characters, and we learn all different things to like,
you know, by saying, it's not bad to be sad.
We do, you know, everybody has, you know, everybody feels scared sometimes.
It's really just a way to help parents
and children and teachers just come together and and sing
and just learn how to regulate their emotions together.
A big thing for me is I want to reach parents and teachers, actually, of young
children, because the younger children actually rely on us to regulate.
So they don't know how they they don't have the tools to regulate themselves.
So they need us to be regulated so they can regulate themselves.
And so
in the last 15 years or so, I'm noticing more young parents are coming to me.
I also own, massage therapy practice,
completely dysregulated.
And, I was concerned because these parents
are coming home to children, and children don't have that safe parental
figure to help them manage their emotions.
And so that's what spun on the inspiration to decrease in this cottage.
So yeah.
Yeah, man, you have so much wonderful things going on.
I'm so honored to speak with you.
Christina's cottage, soulful forest, helping with trauma
and betrayal and all types of other and paternal trauma.
So this is great.
Yeah.
This is let me just.
This is Feeny talks with friends.
You know, my name is Eric Feeney, founder and president, friends of Feeny.
Our mission is to help
children and families that need assistance after heartbreak or tragedy.
And I use this podcast.
Feeny talks with friends, and I talk to wonderful people
that are doing great things.
So I just want to share how excited I am to have you here.
And I'm learning so much. I love the language matters.
I because that is so true.
You can say something in a certain way,
instead of someone that's homeless,
they're, you know, experiencing homelessness or,
you know, a slave is an enslaved person
or someone that's disabled is a person with disabilities.
So you want to put the person first.
And I see that you're doing that.
You're a fourth grader and your dad is in jail or in rehab,
and somebody says, your dad's an addict, and the child can respond with,
my dad has a substance use disorder.
And I know that seems very small, but it's really very big because it takes
it takes that judgment off of that, and it helps
the child have more of a tender heart towards them.
And I come at this from, a point of view is I have a stepdaughter.
She's beautiful, she's funny, she's wonderful, she's amazing,
she's a dog groomer.
And she also suffers tremendously from substance misuse.
We just found out today that she left a rehab and she's out.
We don't know where she is right now.
So this has been an ongoing thing.
I have to tell you, when it comes to this substance misuse,
program, she has informed me
more than any teacher, more than any more than any encyclopedia.
She and I have worked on our relationship for decades,
and I've learned a lot, and I'm wishing her well tonight.
I give people a lot of credit, and,
I have trouble handling. I'm an adult.
Imagine if you're in fourth grade.
Third grade?
So I'm I'm glad that we're doing this, and I'm so grateful to you.
Because she stepped out, she gave
pretty much wrote this was novel.
It was fun.
A lot of fun because language does matter, but also understanding language
that kids respond to and that it changes.
I mean, are we saying bro or brah right now really?
Like, think about that.
You know, like what changes that are, bro?
I don't know bro.
Whatever.
Six seven like, give me a headache.
Yeah. Right.
Where are you like starting from there.
Like.
But it matters. It matters.
And also just to be able to understand, how it also has to be accessible
for the adults in the kid's life to be able to work with the kid, too.
Because if the adult is reading it and feeling activated by something,
coagulation that's going to,
you know, lend itself for a place of not being able
to really come to the table and heal.
So this I like this because it really offers a common language, common
definition.
This helps families to create a shared story and a shared truth.
Because there's always two truths, right?
You have the person who's struggling with the substance misuse
and the person who is, you know, the family system.
They have their story, their truth.
And to be able to have a common language,
you can least have a shared story and a shared truth.
I love I read a lot of these kids that have their stories of kids like you.
This book is for you.
I again, being a teacher for 22 years, having friends and family
that have experienced some of this, I don't want to say what's the word?
It would be a good use. Substance misuse.
So, you know, I have a lot of connections, so.
Oh, yeah. There you go. These people are the first page.
That idea
to put this on the first page of the book, there's two things that we offer.
There's a free website that has with books and music and activities
for the whole family.
And we we can make sure that our nonprofit, it's 100% free
because it's the kids that need it most that are least likely to get it.
So we want to make sure that that,
and this talks about all of the kids with different kinds of experiences,
and probably one of the kids or one of the parents that is reading
this with the child can relate.
We also have a play that they can do together about family roles
and you know, the, the, the scapegoat, the one that's, you know,
hanging upside down and the one that's the responsible one
and how people with even the inner child that much more.
Yeah.
So we've gotten that so many different things and activities and,
that they can do.
Oh wow. This is pretty thick book two.
So very informative.
Pretty pretty colors and very, interactive.
Yeah. Very interactive. That was word up.
And then we have a so for this group, the tour guides manuals.
So when you're an adult or you're a therapist,
this, you know, kind of takes you through
and some of the other ideas that other people come up with, we tried to teach.
Oh, the hug coupon.
That's cute.
I did that once for Valentine's Day.
I gave you my wife.
Like, I'll do the dishes. Use that card.
I'm only use it once because hugs, massages.
So it's funny.
It's laminated.
Yep, yep.
Oh that's great.
Hug coupon expires the day after forever as beautiful.
This is super cute.
So, Tara from main Street.
Yeah. Main Street recovery. Counseling. Yeah.
So I well, you know what I wanted to you asked kind of what word to use,
and that comes up a lot.
I just want to jump right in because of the word addiction. Okay.
And then we're using the word substance use or substance misuse.
So in my field that word is interchangeable
depending on who I'm working with.
So if I'm working with an adult
I would say you're struggling with addiction or unwanted behaviors.
So I think it's okay to use that word.
But I think the reason why we're really working as a field
to understand what words used in is my opinion,
not the opinion of any organization that has certified or credentialed me.
Okay.
I always have to put that disclaimer out because you're not the opinions of
outlets or, you know, whatever.
I think
that, you know, it's the word addiction is not in the DSM.
So just for diagnostic process, for a diagnostic reasons, addiction is not
they are not the ICD, which is the international manual.
Right?
It is, but it's not in the DSM.
So I think that's why we hear the word substance misuse, substance
abuse, gambling
even that gambling addiction.
So anyway, I could talk about that forever, but because I think, well,
do you want to know who I am, who you are, and how you got involved?
And who's your daddy and what's he do? What's he doing?
Oh, boy. Oh, that's okay.
I know who my dad is.
Okay. So, my name is Tara.
I actually own, masonry counseling and grit and grace recovery,
so I'm here today wearing my great grace recovery hat.
I specialize in porn and sex addiction, and I also specialize in betrayal trauma.
So for purposes of today, I have the addiction lens,
my hat or my lens that I'm speaking.
My voice today is really on betrayal trauma and how the
the addiction, the misuse affects the entire family system.
So great Grace recovery again focuses on sex addiction and betrayal trauma.
I'm certified by a couple different organizations.
I'm the only person in Connecticut that's ABS.
I was trained as a clinical specialist in that.
So I hold that credential with, with,
respect and careful.
Because I don't want to misrepresent that in any way.
So it's really important to me.
I have so specialized for all of this deconstructing, gaslighting, and yes,
but I started as a school counselor,
so I do have that in the school system where,
I was down in well, I started my days as a substitute teacher
in Greenwich and, but then I started as a certified school counselor.
And you, Kanan.
And then I ended that part of my career in Bethel.
Nice.
I spent some time in Stratford, Bridgeport, Shelton.
But my longest runs for New Canaan and Bethel.
And then I left.
So I started my practice in 2011.
So for seven years I did both full time.
And then when I had my fourth child, I have six kids.
When I gave birth to my fourth, I was like, maybe I should choose a job.
And then all I did was add another practice
and another gig on the side of that.
So I really just replaced that,
which maybe financially was not the best decision
because I don't get that school system retirement.
But that's okay, right? Yeah.
It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be great.
And my husband, today's Veteran's Day.
I cannot spend today without honoring him.
24 years in the Navy.
So this addiction lens is very special
to me as well, because so many of our frontline service
members are struggling with this invisible battle at home.
And that's really not talked about enough in our, in our service.
So I, I do tend to get a lot of clients too,
who are either active duty or retired or retired veterans or veterans.
Yeah, 24 years active duty.
That's real deal. Yeah.
I did eight years in the National Guard.
That's like a Boy Scout compared to him.
I won't say it came out of my mouth.
Yeah, not to deal with the ego, but, Yeah.
No, this is great.
You guys form a wonderful team.
It's like
Voltron, and, I don't know, it's a bad.
It's a it was also a video game or a cartoon.
They each had their strength and they came together
and they fit like a puzzle.
And they worked like a wonderful team.
So, I don't know, go out and look out. Voltron.
It was all same time with Transformers, G.I.
Joe, bull, Trump.
I'm aging myself, but so but I love how you guys all have your niche or
your specialty and come together to form this wonderful program of Soulful forest.
And I think it's wonderful.
You have ties to Southbury and Naugatuck I wouldn't mind talking about.
Right. Yeah. Very, soulful Southbury.
And, somebody heard about Christine and I in the soulful forest.
It was the mayor of Naugatuck, and, a young lady who owns,
a non bar bar, which is kind of up and coming right now
where animals and stuff instead of alcohol.
And it's really becoming quite a thing and which is which is good news.
And she had heard that she and I had met.
So she introduced me to the mayor.
Her name's Bobby the awesome. It's 3 to 1.
I have to say that. 3 to 1.
No kidding.
On Church Street in, in Naugatuck and the mayor heard
about the social forest, and I said, it is,
we could put
together a park that actually has all these things.
It would be the first park in all of Connecticut devoted
to and, highlighting mental health.
Because parks are about physical,
there's going to be a gratitude garden.
The youth center is working on that.
The garden club is doing the field of forgiveness.
The Exchange Club and the Rotary Club are getting together
to create a Seven Seas ship.
So we're going to we're going to have an actual part of it devoted to the seven.
That's great.
You know, seven cities.
And so so I was I was tracking I like it.
And so it's a unity and community project.
Yeah.
That's what happens when three women get together and say, yes,
how may I be of service and how may I help?
Then things and people and places just come at you.
And I have to tell you,
you're a really good therapist because we're working on this.
We were working on the activities and stuff.
I start talking her, I start crying, and it's just
it's not your personality.
I'm just saying you just face that makes people cry.
Yeah, your face makes a lot of people cry.
Okay? That's one of my kids.
Yeah. My teenage safe space.
Yeah. It is. Yeah, yeah.
You're locked in.
Yeah, very locked in.
And it's interesting
because I was, you know, if I'm interrupted in a session, I'm like.
So I become dysregulated because I'm so locked into what someone say.
They're sharing your story.
This is heavy stuff.
Like any of these kids that are sitting in a classroom.
I remember being in the school system,
and I'm finding this I remember being in the school system
and we would have, you know, outside people come in and talk and that's I okay.
That's another so, okay, so after you retire, because I don't want to
deal with any kind of like, you know, whatever.
But but we would have people come in, which is great.
But then it got to a point where they're like, oh,
we don't want to have anyone come in,
because what if a kid raises their hand and makes a disclosure like,
I'm not sure I understand the problem here, but okay.
So it's it's like, of course this is going to make someone say something.
And if you talk to 400 kids and two kids,
raise their hand, have only done what we're supposed to do.
So that's how I feel if I make one person a cry day, okay,
like I'm doing all right. I'm all right.
I like that math works out on a very safe space.
Thank. I think that's one.
Yeah. Whoever your counsel.
These are great.
Thank you.
And I think ultimately,
my dream and I think a shared dream is that this whole forest
park becomes some sort of, you know, as many towns in the country,
to, to be able to put a park
that actually will have a pavilion where we'll have, do you know, programing
for not only the children, but for also caregivers and teachers,
which I think, once again, that's my big passion,
is to support the adults around the children.
It's just really, really exciting.
And, we have a Trust the Wind Trail, which is based on David Song
Trust the Wind.
And, that will go around through the park.
And so and there'll be QR codes with music all over
benches for reflection. And,
we have an incredible,
architect who's going to be designing it, Artemus.
Architects.
So excited to hop on board.
She actually designed these.
Ended up memorial.
And, yeah, just really excited to just take this idea and this dream,
the virus and and build it in as many towns as we can because I think,
you know, mental health is is just
such a we're in a crisis.
And, this to me is a park that is needed now more than ever.
These are some of the messages that are going to be throughout the park.
I love in sweetheart Wisdom because it's a group effort, because birds
are just I think they're very symbolic for so many different things.
But one of them is every day might not be good, but there's good in every day.
Love. Accepting. Forgive.
This is one of my favorite.
It's safe to reveal what I used to conceal.
I am going to do whatever is good for my soul.
I can communicate my feelings.
I can celebrate myself.
I can make healthy choices.
I'm going to be in every moment.
And and I have a right to be safe in this one.
I love this.
It's not bad to be sad, which is a sign of David's
love.
It should go to Healing chickadee.com and go to the Twitter page
because you will hear all of the songs in there is life is one of my favorites.
I have a lot of favorites.
Tell me the other songs because I'm on my way.
Come on. Can you give us a little note?
Can you give us a little something? Are you warmed up?
Can you give us a
help?
Is on the way.
Gibson is on the way
from places you don't know about today.
From friends you may not have met yet.
Believe me when I say I know
help is on the way.
Oh, beautiful.
I saw that you had a song about being kind, right?
Is it being or the book being kind or.
So David and I wrote a book.
David is, by the way, a brilliant writer.
He's not really brilliant songwriter, but I was I approached David
Gilbert.
David's on the podcast fourth Guest.
Sorry if I approached Dave like
a children's book based on his song We Can Be Kind.
And he said, yeah. And I was like, okay.
As I get to his house, it literally took him like,
I think it took us an hour and he wrote it in poem style.
He's like brilliant.
So yeah, we were we created a, a picture book called
We Can Be Kind and features the characters from Christina's cottage,
and it has QR codes in here, and it goes to the song we can be Kind
and the dog buddy is actually inspired by my family dog, Buddy Connors.
And, Yeah, and these little seven little love bugs and, yeah, it's it's exciting.
It's so it's like a multi-sensory book and, Yeah.
And each. Yeah, there's Tootie or Rudy.
They're characters names.
That's,
Yeah.
Okay, so we have the red bug name.
Rudy.
Rudy, and then valor, and then a mora's the green one,
and then Chad is the blue, and then sage and then spark
and those of, those of you who do yoga, they're actually inspired by the chakras.
So rubies, root chakra bug and enjoy is the creative bug.
And then valor is the solar plexus.
And then a more is the green heart chakra bug
chakra.
And then sage is the third eye, which is wisdom.
And then spark is just, you know, we are all of, you know, world.
We are all individual sparks of the divine, which I believe.
And that's so cool.
Remember that I think, like I have a read aloud for tomorrow right at school.
And then maybe later you'll sign it for it.
All right.
Autographed copy.
This is beautiful, Christine.
And the love bugs and buddy, too.
We can be kind.
So how do we get a be a good friend song?
Can we get a be a good friend song?
So we can we could probably make that happen.
So our models be a good friend,
you know, hold the door, pick up trash, give compliments, be charitable.
I want to thank you guys all for being a good friend today.
These are stickers. Thank you.
Yeah.
So, friends of Feeny, our mission again is to help children
and families that need assistance after heartbreak or tragedy.
We've just helped our 127th family and provided over
$265,000 to families that have heartbreak or tragedy.
Cancer, house fires, car accidents, you name it.
So all volunteer based, community based organization
and just love making connections with wonderful friends like you.
So now what makes we're going
to go around the room in unit share what makes you know Christine.
You'll tell what makes Teri a good friend.
Teri Tarot a good friend.
Tara Christine a good friend.
So it's like a morning meeting? Yes. Morning meeting.
We're going to hold hands while we do it.
Okay.
Who wants to go first?
Tell you.
Christina
Connors is a great friend of mine to one of the wonderful things
that she's taught me is that it's you're so non-judgmental.
You are just so open and receptive and
so free with whatever crazy ideas we come up with.
You never shut.
And then to that I think that you are
loving person.
And everything I love the most about you is what we just talked about.
But if I was that you're just so safe and, and I just trust you.
I mean, you have that energy of trust, and you were so generous
with your time, like, you're a big deal, right?
You do have all these businesses and stuff, so you the big deal.
And you always took the time with me
to make.
So I can say,
since Tara and I just met, I can say you have a beautiful smile.
Thank you. I'll say that.
As far as Terry being a good friend, Terry
makes me laugh.
Thanks.
She said she's hysterical.
And, I think said, what makes you a good friend is when you.
When I need you, you're always there.
So if I call or text and say I need to talk, I mean, you're right there.
And I think that's so important for all of us to have,
a partner of safety and trust,
whether it's a pod or a friend or someone to call when we're struggling.
I think that's key.
So thank you for that.
Time is my love
language, and it's what I like to give and receive.
Everything else, really. I mean, stickers are cool, I love that.
Okay, cool. If I can try. Yeah. Okay. Deal.
Knock off Yeti. But it's going go on there.
So I think your compassion for others,
but also you're passionate about what you do.
So I really like to be friends with people
that understand the importance of energy.
I really believe energy transforms.
I think a guy named Einstein came up with that idea, but I just transfer.
It's not transforms. I'm sorry, just transfers.
And so I feed off of other people's energy.
And I really like that about you. And I like being around you.
And, I know we were working together on a, magazine article,
so it was really cool, like,
just throwing ideas back and forth, like someone that I can be vulnerable with.
I can feel that,
and I think vulnerability is something that anyone that's picking this up
needs a little more help with or support around.
So I like that I can share space with other people that are vulnerable as well.
It's really important to me.
Well, thank you for sharing. Being a good friend.
You know, you serve, hey, you'll make a good friend.
Thanks for you to. Yes.
Soulful forest teller.
And she's,
I like it.
Thank you.
Gifts
to for the kids.
Thank you. This is great.
Of course.
Say whatever you want.
I've only got phase one in my notes, but.
So you know what's really cool about this?
I was just thinking, as we're sitting here,
is that the clients that I have come in and the families that I work with
and the people I, my colleagues across the country who are just phenomenal
at this work, what we talk about all the time
is how any, any type of addiction is an intimacy disorder, right?
And so it's the inability for others to connect really on an intimate level,
all different types of intimacy and how how amazing to be able
to pick this up or to go to this place in honkytonk
and not have the pressure of we're sitting in front of a therapist
and we have to talk about everything that's going on.
The language is there, the ability to connect using our inner
child, our playful child, like it's all there in a very,
not intimidating.
Why is that word not intimidating? I'm not.
You don't intimidate. So it's not intimidating. Yeah, right.
So it's not intimidating, but it still gets the message.
And so that's point across.
Because all of what I work with are people who really struggle
to connect and to form an internet connection with people.
And so this is amazing.
I mean, how can you be how can you stay mad if you're in the gratitude garden?
And what we know about nature is what you and I connect it over is just being able
to connect with a higher power, something bigger than you.
You know, we talk about a lot that we talk about this
a lot in my world of this need to connect with a higher power.
And for some people, that's God.
For some people, it's Buddhism for for some people, me, it's nature.
Like that's where I like to connect with that.
And you're offering it mother nature, Mother Nature, nurture.
And in both of these programs
and all of the programs we teach us on real life, first,
because what I would have loved, what the reason the healing came about, is
when I was ten years old, my 16 year old brother died suddenly,
and it's through our family and absolute chaos.
And, what I needed at that time, I wanted at
that time was all in the healing program.
But I would have given anything to have an adult just walk around
outside of whether we found the birds or not.
It's about spending that time outside with the trusted adult.
And that's where you're going to get a child who's talking and telling
you stuff when you're not staring at them, when you're just walking along,
looking at trees.
It's one the connection for me there, Terry, is.
So you're talking about grief after the death of someone.
So in my world of betrayal trauma, big teen trauma,
you talk about disenfranchized grief,
so you're grieving the loss of something that's still there, or.
But you're trying to rework that, trying to figure it all out.
So grieve that.
It's like those two people experiencing the grief of someone who died,
and the grief of betrayal in a family system like this family
attachment wound, that that substance misuse causes that grief is there.
And so to have someone be able to connect with you on that
so powerful.
Where is the exact location of the park in Naugatuck?
Because I'm familiar with Naugatuck, 65 acres.
It's up on the top of, Where?
They're getting ready to dig the access road and get this thing going.
It's actually called the
YMCA Camp and Family Center.
And then a portion of it is going to be devoted to the mental health.
Hello.
And one of the things that's going to be there, which is very
exciting, is a lot of resources are going to be placed throughout
so that kids that are having suicidal ideation
and that
there's going to be resources listed because we want to take the stigma out of
we want to take the stigma out of this and provide it.
And and I think the mayor said it best, Pete, has he said, we're going
to show kids and families how important their mental health is to us.
We're going to put time, effort, energy, money, resources into this.
And and we're going to make it a safe place for them.
So I'm really grateful that doing that.
And then the gentleman that's in charge of the YMCA, his name is Mark.
Right.
He's wonderful.
So he's he's very much behind this as well.
And that just shows you when you throw things out there in the universe.
Yeah.
Interesting things happen to me right now.
Yeah, well, she's going to write a be a Good friend song.
Can we get like a friends buddy bench in there somehow?
We'll, you know, one of the things we're going to be doing is they're even sponsor.
Hey, we're in it near the Seven Seas where, you know,
for for children that are living in homes with substance misuse.
Yeah. Absolutely. Awesome. I'll get a check from.
All right.
Right.
I mean, just, you know, that's great.
Naugatuck is great. Near and dear to my heart.
My parents are from there.
Great Memorial Day parade and great
fireworks at the, the high school for 4th of July.
So good stuff over there.
And Naugatuck and Naugatuck and it is it's a it's a really heart and soul.
The mayor said to me, because I want to make it
so that we're a destination instead of a place.
You drive by on route eight, you know, I mean, you just have to stop in
and see what's going on.
So there's a there's all of them redoing the downtown.
It's going to be bricks.
It's going to be really nice.
Well congratulations.
That's amazing.
I'm from Waterbury, but I live in West Hartford now.
But Naugatuck, great place near, near and dear to your heart.
Oh. So let me just shout out some sponsors.
We're here at Sally and Bob's on North Main Street.
Wonderful place.
Helen was so nice to host us.
Wonderful breakfast, lunch.
So if you want to come back and try it, I would highly suggest it.
I didn't think we had time for,
taste test, because we have so much important stuff to talk about.
But, next time, you guys, come on, we'll have food.
And they're on a podcast, too.
Prior podcast.
So Sally and Bob's Brook Golf Lore group,
the fix IV,
float, 41 Luna Pete's, Parkville Management,
people's Bank and New England Dawn security.
So New England dawn security.
Here's where I'm going with this with New England dawn security.
What are three keys that make this a great nonprofit?
Three keys for soulful forest that make you guys.
What are you guys doing? That's great. What do you guys do?
That's. That makes it work.
Can, I guess, go ahead.
Teamwork and collaboration.
Passion
and like, love for what you do.
Passion and love for what you do. Teamwork.
I've never guessed before. This is the first time.
And like energy
and like motivation, you're like,
you have a goal and you're like very mission oriented.
And you guys want
you see what you see down the road and you're working hard to get there.
So stubborn.
I like that one nice way to say it.
Yeah. Coffee maker.
Afraid to make mistakes.
Oh, I've never been the founder and chief enthusiast for a nonprofit
before, so I'm actually, by trade, a nuclear medicine technologist.
So I inject people with other sources of radiation.
And you can see how that just parlays, right?
Yeah.
It works.
Right. For sure.
So so I'm sort of I'm 65 now.
I'm sort of semi-retired.
So I just work one day a week and then I then I do this, the rest of the time
and I have I look back and go, oh, that was the wrong way to go.
Oh that was, you know, we just did. Right.
Because we've been doing this
for a long time and we're like, oh, everything that we do.
There was a reason why we ended up doing that
because we learned something that we needed, you know, later down the road.
And I think one of the things I love about you most is we trust the journey.
We don't go, you know, like we don't, you know, lament things that we didn't like.
Okay. Well, what what do we need to learn from that?
So you and I spend a lot of time at the reflecting of, well,
we don't get on the road.
We took, trust in trail all the way. Yes.
And and that's really what the song is about.
It's about trusting your path, you know, trusting
life flowing through you and for you, and accepting
everything that comes as a gift, as an opportunity to learn, to grow.
And that's if you can interpret life and situations that way.
I feel like you can grow and expand and not get too marked down into, you know,
so many hardships, so
nice.
And I got a question like, how do you fundraise?
I heard grants you guys just recently received a grant.
If you want to talk about that.
Fundraiser.
And the gentleman that he said during
these are fundraisers, he goes because the amount of time,
effort, energy and money you put into this, you you end up making
things beer with brews.
And it was it was I guess I like, oh yeah, big cardboard cutouts of Harry
and Prince
Harry and Prince William and their wives, and you could have your picture taken.
And it was at this brewer and I was I got it, but I ended up spending
so much money, you know, and then now I'm stuck with the entire royal family, and,
and they always say we are.
No, no, no, we're not going to do that.
So the way that we are funded is through donations and grants, and I
this is the one thing I have learned is how to write a grant, how to put it forth.
And in fact, the William Pettit founders, the family Foundation. Yep.
Gave us a grant today.
And, that we're just so grateful to be aligned with them.
And so the hill is going to go out to, children in, for example, parents
and some of their children,
and some of the other organizations that I can't think of right now,
because I'm nervous, it's going to go out for children
that have been affected by my.
Yeah, I've interacted with Doctor Pettit a few times.
He's a good friend and a good guy.
So future podcast guests too. So
now he's great.
All right. New game.
So you talked events and fundraisers.
And so the game is first last best worst.
What's like the first thing you guys did.
The last the most recent and the best one and the worst one
can be the first best worst of what?
Like a soulful forest.
Activity event fundraiser.
Oh, boy.
Or a meeting?
Like.
So that's a fun party.
You can play this game with anything. Mistake.
You can do this with baseball games, I don't know. Oh,
okay.
Well, the first was Terry and I meeting at that restaurant and coming up there.
Yeah, okay. It was the first.
Right.
And I had to get over, she gets she gets really mad when I say this website.
When I first met her, I feel like she would, like, talk to me.
I was like, she's pretty, she's talented.
I'm like, I don't.
But she didn't.
That was where she said to me, she was, you're so beautiful.
You're so you need to accept yourself.
But I it's hard.
Like, right now I'm sitting here with Spanx on.
Like there's a blood clot
circulation in the lower part of my body.
I'm taking some of these my own advice here.
So that was the first.
First?
I remember the first time you and I worked on this.
I just, like. I don't know why the Spanx reminded me.
I don't think it has anything to do with it, but just her humor, I think.
Right.
You're writing your.
It's a bike, but it's not an electric bike.
It's a electric extra.
What did you call it?
It's a bike that you just need a little push.
Yeah. E-bike. Yeah. So yeah.
So she rolls up at this adorable little coffee shop in Southbury.
Hudson's, on this bike.
And I'm like, that is so fun.
And so cute.
And then she has all this packed in her basket on the bike.
I'm like, I have to know this lady like, this is amazing.
So that was a basket on an e-bike.
It was so cute. It was like something I have a little hallmark movie
I love my I know, do you still ride it like do.
Yeah. Okay.
But then I eat a lot. So really good.
Good for me.
And my husband said, why do we pay Oprah Winfrey and Weight Watchers every month?
And I go, I don't know,
I think you need to visit the affirmation I do, I do.
We need a way to say three nice things about ourselves.
No, it's not easy. You get a mustache.
It's not. It's not easy.
But you know what?
It is what I do. Yep.
I love this time of my life.
You know what I mean? Yep.
I can see it.
I get a chance to take all the wisdom and experience
and the things that have hurt me deeply. And.
And I know that what we do,
what the three of us do, we're helping kids that need it most.
And that is so enjoyable.
So, so that is the beauty that I feel comes from me.
And that is more.
It's wonderful statement right there, I like it, I'm totally on board.
You know, you're helping kids.
That's what I got started in and out of the classroom.
I saw there was a need. One of my students
lost their dads, unfortunately, unexpectedly.
And I was like, we did go fund me, but go Fund Me takes
a portion of every donation and taxes the recipient at the end.
So I don't know if you didn't know that. Yeah.
And then then the following year, another student lost their father.
So I was like, you know what?
I was a new dad.
So I was like, let's start a nonprofit.
And ever since we got a wonderful team Matt,
Jen, Marty, Ty, Rob, Dante, great team.
Marty's here, retired teacher. Marty.
Matt and Jenna and time. Rob.
They're not here.
So I see you, but Marty's here.
Marty's a good friend.
Loving children.
And so in any given classroom, you have children with children.
And if that ever happens.
And I.
And I hope that it doesn't not, you know, it's something that we hope
we never have to send out, but we're honorable.
We do.
You let me know in that ordeal.
That's a great connection.
We have I mean, we deal with a lot of families that lose loved ones.
So, we'll be definitely talking in.
This is a connection and collaboration that will go on for years to come.
So thank you.
Thank you for reaching out.
Thank you for being here.
Oh, we got to show your contact.
The soulful forest.com.
The soulful forest at gmail.com.
Forest@gmail.com. Yep. That's your email.
The soulful forest
at gmail.com.
I can be reached in many ways.
And then you're CC at Christina connors.com
and you're here at Mainstreet counseling.com.
Really? Well, our Main Street counselor.
Oh yeah. You're not here for that.
You're here for something else I won't I won't delete the email.
I'll probably just, you know, Tara,
I grit and grace recovery or look how many places you can find us. Oh.
Oh QR codes.
I know QR codes.
Yeah, I do, because I also do, southern snow.
But I'm going to I come back again and talk about my southern stuff.
Yeah. Please.
Yeah.
That's really you guys are all welcome back individually
because having three of you on with so much content,
so much exciting things going on.
But I loved meeting with everyone.
You're going to sign a book for me? Yes.
We're going to connect with the the healing chickadees.
Yeah.
We're going to talk about gaslighting.
Yes we are.
I'm a big time gaslighter.
No I'm kidding. Totally kidding.
Okay, now you can enter into recovery.
Yes. Okay.
Oh, so
just quickly, there's a follow up question.
So if we can quickly just say your favorite restaurant
and who would you eat with?
Anyone in the world, dead or alive?
There's a there's a new place in Salisbury called.
Okay, I'm I'm big on sauces,
wonderful sauce and Puglia pizza.
Puglia. Yeah.
And I would,
I would have, dinner
with my brother who passed away when I was,
ten years old.
I'm just like
you said that because we lost my brother six years ago,
and my dad three years ago, and I to say the same thing, I would have,
lunch or dinner with my dad or my brother, and we just, celebrated
my niece's marriage this past weekend, which is my brother's daughter.
And it was a beautiful wedding.
However, there was, you know, father of five chairs sitting in the front
row with my brother's picture and a flower, and it was
it was bittersweet because my mom was there with us, you know? And,
when you see the picture of my mom and the bride after the wedding,
it's not going to look very pretty because they're both like,
you know, it's kind of disastrous.
But, getting back to the point of, I would have, lunch with my dad
and my brother and, I know they're there with us, but, I would go back to what
goes on here.
It's like colony pizza.
Ooh, spicy.
Delicious. The oil. The hot oil or. No.
And then.
So it's casual and delicious food. So,
I am a soul food girl.
I'm born and raised in Louisiana, and all of our family is down south.
And so there are a couple of places here in Connecticut that have like, real deal
soul food.
And one of them are Miss Thelma's in Bridgeport.
Oh so fun.
And the vibe is amazing.
I would love a free meal if you're listening to me right now.
No I stand down at the I, I'm like oh my god this is like the best stuff ever.
And everyone else is, you know, I'm not very quiet about it.
I just get excited about it.
That's collard greens ever.
So I would be there and I would I have to bring two people.
I can't just.
Oh, no.
Yeah, I would bring the my grandpa.
My paternal grandpa, passed quite a few years ago,
and he was my ride or die like he was my my person, my forever person.
And I miss him every single day I talk to him.
So I would bring him and I would actually love, would love
to see him with my mother in law, who passed in 2020.
But I would love to see the two of them sit and eat at this place,
at this establishment.
I think it would be a very interesting conversation, very different personalities
bring very different life experiences to the table.
And I would just sit back and eat my fried chicken and listen, it'd be great.
Thank you, George Clooney, I would eat at Sally and Bob's, cause.
Yeah,
with my wife and my twin girls.
Neil and Brigid.
Oh, we're here every Sunday anyway, so. But,
this is the place. Yep.
This is our spot right here. Okay.
So good stuff.
Now wrapping up.
But before we do, do you have any future events coming out?
Anything that we should look for?
How can we help you? Where can we join you?
You can join us.
If you go to Soulful Trail blazers.org, soulful trail Blazers is really
the kind of the clearinghouse for things coming up with the Naugatuck Arc.
And you're going to be able to,
if you can contribute to the celebration of sobriety Rock garden by creating rocks,
I mean, there's going to be all kinds of opportunities.
So so that's what's coming up.
Is that Mark beautiful?
And where do you see yourself
in five years for the program?
I, I don't know, I'm, I'm, I'm,
gosh, maybe another grandchild.
And, continuing to, to send this album to make it grow.
Yeah.
I see, at least to Silver Forest nature parks.
Yeah. Up and running.
Different towns and, a place
that's thriving with programing to support
children and families with mental health and all those kinds of things,
because it takes a village, and I believe that towns can come together
and really take care of the community, and that's what we need.
So, yeah,
my, my five year plan is to build a trauma treatment center in Florida.
And actually I want like 50, 60 acres of uncharted land, uncharted territory.
And I have the community garden.
I want it to be a third space.
And I would love to have a local force there.
Yeah.
So I'm I'm actively working on it.
It's kind of a secret because I don't have any funding for it,
but it's not a secret anymore.
But, it is something I'm actively working on
and something I have been for quite some time.
So it will be a space where I can go.
Yeah. So, like, I want to plant a mini.
I'm on there for me just to kind of be in and for a community space and, for
people in the community and for clinicians across the country to send people.
And I just step back and if they need to use the space, they use the space.
And if I want to be there, I can be there. So be cool.
So how cool would that be?
We might have to have a swamp or something in there though, right?
Like Florida alligators or alligators.
I'll call a gator garden. Yeah, there you go.
Oh, if that could be camp cats.
Just throw them to the alligators, right? Yep.
There we go.
And you're big into gratitude.
So I wanted to share some thank you notes that we have received over the time.
So I highly encourage all my listeners, multiple podcasts
write the handwritten note, the thank you, the check in.
So we've just had a donation from Bill and Betsy.
Thank you so much for your donation.
Oh. Maddie.
At her birthday, I gave her some merch.
Cystic fibrosis wrote us a nice. Thank you.
Joan Dismas,
great friend, made a wonderful donation.
And then some families that we have helped have wrote us a donation.
Just no words can describe how truly thoughtful and generous
your organization is.
We help with unexpected expenses.
I've always loved your organization and what it represented.
Never did I think it we be the recipient of it.
We thank you.
We love you all.
We love Jeff too for mentioning us.
We've always supported you. Be a good friend.
Thank you so much. All is appreciated. Love you so much.
And you know that's for someone that unexpectedly passed.
And then another one.
But I can't read the handwriting right now, so.
But it's a beautiful card.
They have that nice all caps font.
Let's analyze that. Yeah.
As a third grade teacher, you definitely turn into a handwriting analyst. But,
the beautiful
thing about what you do is I personally feel.
And it's sad when tragedy strikes.
It's not in some way up top
that's going to come to support, you know, to really ultimately take care of you.
It's really communities.
And I think that why should we wait until the tragedy comes?
Why don't we create
a space for preventative care and just really get to know each other?
So when something does hit, we have each other's backs already.
And I think that that's key.
It makes people feel a little bit less vulnerable knowing that heaven forbid
something happens that we know that we have our community of support.
And I think that's so beautiful what you're doing.
I think, it takes a village.
And once again, when tragedy hits, it's.
We have each other. Yeah. And I get to meet.
I mean, there's both sides of it.
We're helping people, but then you get to meet wonderful
people that are also helping.
You mentioned Mister Rogers. That was my idol. That's.
Who would I have dinner with?
That's who raised me. That's who.
You know, Mister Rogers, I dress up him for Halloween.
I have all of his books.
I have his pop or pop up little doll thing. So.
Bobblehead? Yeah.
So he's a great guy. He's all right.
So now I'm trying to apply to be a presenter in the summer.
I'm going to go to Pennsylvania, hopefully present or go to the conference.
A mister Rogers themed or based conference.
So I think he's all right.
Yeah, he's a good guy, you know? He's an amazing human being. Yeah.
There's a conference.
Oh, yeah.
I'll send you the link or, yeah, I'll check that out.
And and then I have the future, friends
of any upcoming event is our sixth annual toy drive.
I don't know if you guys are around. Please swing by.
Luna pizza is right around the corner.
Until December 6th, we're collecting at maximum beverage.
There's three of them.
We're collecting at the Farmington one,
the Tolland one in the West Hartford one, the ballet, and at Hartford
on December 5th, Mount Southington on November 29th.
Jazzercise.
We have brewing physical MT Bank and Luna Pizza is we'll be collecting.
But this is our sixth annual toy drive we're giving to kids that need support.
So please join us.
We have a caricature drawing.
We'll have pizza specials.
Just a wonderful event.
Please check us out.
Friends of Phoenix.
Com like and follow the Feeny Talks with Friends podcast.
Like and follow everything that the social forest is doing.
No. It was a wonderful.
Any closing remarks?
This has been a lot of fun.
Thank you so much. Yeah. Thank you for having us.
Thank you. And once again, thank you for the work you're doing.
Can you sing a Be a Good Friend song to take us out?
Be a good friend?
Yeah.
That was it right there. There you go. Right.
Oh, one more town.
Don't quit my day job. Is that what you're saying?
The friends of the Valley.
I didn't warm up.
I didn't get to that song.
You got a friend?
Oh, come on, hit that, hit that.
When I look at this, do that one friend in me, I don't know, I just.
Yeah, you might have bigger and stronger and stronger to.
Yeah, but no one can love you.
The way I do.
Yeah. It's true.
No no no, no. Maybe.
All right.
Hit us with the chorus.
Let me stop embarrassing myself.
Hit us with the chorus of you got a friend in me.
Yeah,
that's all I know.
Is you got a friend in me.
You got a friend in me. Let.
You got a friend in me.
You like something like you, I would say I would just sing all the time, right?
All the time.
Yeah, yeah. I always wanted to be a singer.
I've also wanted to be taller. That didn't work out.
Hey, there's a song for that too.
I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller.
I was a shot call, I wish I had a girl I would call her
I wish I had a friend, one friend in the back.
I don't know what my family's gonna make fun of me for.
Not knowing the wish.
I was a little bit taller.
So I'm three. Will say be a good friend.
All right. One, two, three.
Be a good friend.