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When I think about the dark, I think

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about the game that I used to play

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as a kid.

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I'm here, in a house that is not

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mine.

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I'm here with my friend.

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I'll call him... Mario.

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I'll tell you later why.

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I'm 11, he's one year younger than me.

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Mario has a fascinating family.

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First of all, they come from the mainland,

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and this is always a bit of a

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sensation for us islanders.

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But there is more.

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His mom is divorced, and she lives with

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Mario's father, but they are not married.

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I'm pretty sure that Mario's mother is the

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first divorced woman I met in my life.

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And she even has an older daughter from

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a previous relationship.

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Wow.

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Adults talk about Mario's mom in a whisper.

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And there is a certain initial reluctance to

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welcome them in the neighborhood.

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I remember once we were at his place

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and I had to go to the toilet.

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I went and I saw a condom floating

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inside the toilet.

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Terrifying.

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Fascinating.

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So, there is a game that Mario and

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I play constantly during the summer when I'm

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eleven.

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Here is how it goes.

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You'll need a house without parents or adult

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supervision, windows with heavy shutters, a record player,

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scary music to play. Instructions for two players.

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Once you are home alone, close all windows,

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draw the curtains and close the shutters so

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that the room is dark.

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Play the scary record on the record player.

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Start running around the room screaming at the

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top of your voice.

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We play this game a lot with Mario.

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Did I tell you already that there is

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an unspoken mystery around Mario?

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I mean, besides his mom being divorced and

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all.

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Well, Mario is always pale.

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I mean, all children from mainland are pale

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for us islanders, but Mario is pale in

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a specific way.

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I find out the meaning of that specificity

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one day that someone bullied him at school

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and he came home with a cut on

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his eyebrow.

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He was paler than usual and scared.

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All adults were scared, they were fussing around

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him, worried, and then they whispered words, hurt,

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murmur.

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That's what I think was the main issue

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with Mario,

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the reason why his mother always recommended that

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I make sure Mario doesn't strain himself by

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performing any activity that makes him sweat.

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Sweating was strictly forbidden for him.

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I'm a kid, I'm not sure what it

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means to have a hurt murmur, but I

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take my role as a big sister with

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enthusiasm, glad to have an excuse to ignore

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those annoying rules that they start telling me

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on how a female must behave in puberty.

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So here we are.

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We have closed the shutters and the room

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is dark enough for us to see everything,

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but grey.

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It is disquieting, because in the dim light

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we can easily make out the contour of

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the furniture.

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I remember a large bed, so it must

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be in the master bedroom, but terrifying shadows

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follow us behind every corner.

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It feels like we stepped inside a real

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life black and white movie, but stranger, uncanny.

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I don't remember how or who came up

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with the idea of this game.

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I don't even think we gave it a

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name.

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I only know that we have been playing

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it compulsively, forever and ever, always at his

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home, because Mario, unlike me, is very often

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home alone.

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Anyway, we place the record on the record

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player, it is Profondo Rosso, the soundtrack from

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the latest Dario Argento horror movie, a movie

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we haven't seen because it is rated 16,

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but his family has the record of the

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soundtrack and we listen to it at an

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impossibly high volume, while running around the dark

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room and screaming at the top of our

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voice, running and curling up on the carpet

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next to the bed and occasionally hiding under

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the bed, all the while screaming and screaming

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and screaming until the song ends, and then

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we run to the record player to stop

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it before the following song starts, because there

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is only one soundtrack for our scary game.

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In my memory we have played this game

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during the entire summer.

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That strange summer when so many strange things

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happened to our families.

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No one took the time to explain what

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was happening to us, the kids, no one

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told us why, the strange behaviors by the

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adults.

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Our game played in the dark.

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Although, now that I think about it, I

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have the impression that Mario was scared of

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darkness, because in that strange summer it happened

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that he did several sleepovers at our place.

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I mean, this per se was really, really

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strange.

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He lived around the corner and sleepovers weren't

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common back then.

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But I remember Mario sleeping in the guest

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bed, and I remember him asking for a

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nightlamp because he was scared of sleeping in

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the dark, and I also remember that he

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could only fall asleep if he rolled violently

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his head on the pillow from right to

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left, from left to right, for what it

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felt like hours.

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I remember listening to that unfamiliar sound in

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the dark of my room.

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After all what happened on that summer, our

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families lost contact.

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His family moved back to the mainland and

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we haven't seen each other or spoken since.

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I confess that I did think about contacting

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him, but then what?

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To ask him whether he remembers when we

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scared ourselves to death by running like crazy

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in the dark, listening to Profondo Rosso?

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One last thing.

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I haven't explained yet why I didn't reveal

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his real name.

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I did it on purpose, because I searched

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for him on the internet, hoping to find

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him, and well, I did find him.

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It turns out that, despite the paleness of

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his youth, Mario became first Italian and then

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European champion in a quite violent contact sport,

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so he is well known among people who

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follow that sport.

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There you go.

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From darkness to light, Mario must have overcome

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whatever demons he had that didn't allow him

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to sleep well in the dark.