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well hello All You Beautiful

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[Music]

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People you know what time it

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is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and

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everyone in

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between gather around get you something

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real nice to sip on and comfy to slip

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on cuz it's time for smut Club here's

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your hosts chelse and

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[Applause]

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Hannah hey everyone and welcome to Smart

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club I'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea I've

13
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just given Chelsea a heart

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attack I just didn't know that we were

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recording already oh like I felt my

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chest tighten in a real way and then I

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was like then I paused for a second I'm

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like what are you nervous about like

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what are you oh well I just kicked my

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mic so maybe maybe that's it we're just

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starting off strong right okay um we're

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so glad you guys are here yes thanks for

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being on this journey maybe you are on

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it on a weekly basis maybe you just show

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up because you like the book but

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regardless we're glad you're here this

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is the podcast where we tend to daydrink

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and review and read trashy romance

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novels correct some of them aren't

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trashy some of them are classy yeah I

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would say this one that I'm doing today

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is maybe like more in the

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middle like it's not trashy and it's not

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terrible it's more like

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um there's

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more Exposition than plot does that make

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sense yes but also what's the name of oh

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sure it's his for Hanukkah by ree

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Morrison so I is Ree with a C or an S an

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s

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okay and I found this author by accident

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um they are a um they identify as queer

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and they write queer romance awesome um

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and I believe that they are

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Jewish I'm pretty sure I read that

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somewhere well at the very least they

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wrote a book about a Jewish holiday they

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did they did and

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so I was telling you before we started

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and then you stopped me so that we could

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do on here um yeah I like you and I have

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this horrible habit it's why we started

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the podcast because we used to enjoy

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everyone on our work links talking about

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books but I do think the funniest thing

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is like we get so excited to tell each

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other about the books that we like

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forget to save it for recording yep and

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then there are moments where I'm like

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damn it that was funny but then it feels

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weird because you don't want to repeat

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the joke you just made that doesn't feel

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sincere it doesn't so I'm sorry that I

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just earlier Hannah was like mids

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sentence and I literally went stop

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telling me she said stop stop I like

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just stop I save it I want to know but

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not right now so sorry wasn't wasn't

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trying to like it's good we'll Circle

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back around um so um I what I

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appreciated most about this book really

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um is that as I was saying earlier but I

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don't think I finished the thought all

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the way is that the reason why this book

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didn't feel trashy to me is because it's

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obvious that this author knows the

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community she's writing

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about so like you know a lot of authors

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are ooh I want to write about Kink or

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like oo I want to write about like a gay

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romance or whatever and they have no

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real experience in it and it and they

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put it in like chat GPT and they're like

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exactly tell me about Kink exactly and

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so it feels really um like

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almost just ridiculous like it's like

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that's not how any of this really

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works and so it just doesn't it I don't

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know it just feels wrong to me um well I

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feel like we've had that conversation

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about books um that are like BDSM and

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things like that and and you're so right

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you can always tell that difference of

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like oh they understand this community

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they're in this community versus they're

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like I Read 50 Shades of Gray and I

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think this concept is hot but like when

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there's like no conversations about

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consent or safe words or or boundaries

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and

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like I think that's always a moment that

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I pause and I'm like I feel like the

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author

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might be new to the community or

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learning about it but when you can just

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kind of tell like they're not as like

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well versed yes yeah what I want

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integrated into the community yeah like

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active like yeah you know it's like okay

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so maybe they went to a club one time to

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like learn about the community and then

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they were like I got it and decided to

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write a whole book about it I did 45

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minutes of research right right you know

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the confidence of like a mediocre white

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man be like I've got this I've learned

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all I need to know yeah there's nothing

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that can be explained to me because I

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explain everything to everyone else

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correct yes so um this book again his

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for Hanukkah by reys

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Morrison so um there is kink involved

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it's a queer romance so we've got layers

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we've got layers so we start with Adam

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Adam um he is really really struggling

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um he we know right off the bat he has

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some pretty intense anxiety issues his

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favorite hoodie which is like his

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comfort item got really messed up and so

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he's going to get a new one but none of

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them feel right and if anybody else has

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like sensory stuff you know that like

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that's a big deal it doesn't sound like

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it but it really is my husband has like

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major sensory stuff and so like if

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things don't feel right he won't feel

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right like for the whole day like if the

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textures aren't right I'll say I'm not

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that big of like at that level of

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sensory but I did just have a very

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similar situation with sweatpants for

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the first time cuz I had like a pair of

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sweatpants that I've worn out because um

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I have thick thighs and I get the chub

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rub and um yeah it's a family curse my

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son is [ __ ] my husband and I both get

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it um but we're like I'm like we just

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have big thighs and our thighs rub

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together I'm like and that's like no

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matter how much I work out no matter how

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much I weigh I've just like embraced

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like yeah that's how we're built yeah we

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I I'm built as a thick thighed human but

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the

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uh I got real thread bear between the

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thighs that's always where my pants go

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first yes 1,000% and I didn't realize it

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until I was sitting on my patio talking

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to my sister-in-law and like put like

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bent my leg up and just like put it

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underneath me and I looked down I was

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like that is a giant oh there's two

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there's a hole on each side and then I

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was holding my baby then he discovered

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the holes I'm like nope that's not a toy

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mom just has TR but all this to say I

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was like cool I need a new pair of

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sweatpants the this pair was from Old

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Navy and I couldn't find it on their

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website again and I looked like for a

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long time through all of the reviews I

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ended up ordering a pair on Amazon I put

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them on in for like 3 seconds and I went

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absolutely [ __ ] not took them

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straight back

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off I was like these need to be returned

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cannot wear these yeah at all and found

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that Old Navy had like what I think the

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pair I had was like extra high-waisted

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vintage joggers and now I just have

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extra high-waisted joggers and I'm like

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these are the same sweatpants but I'm

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like but it's the the feeling of them

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and as soon as I put them on I was like

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oh thank God yeah I was like these are

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the sweatpants I was like and I had a

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moment where I went do I just need to

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buy like six pairs and just

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like like stock up on them should they

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go out in the future because I've

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already seen that I can't survive with

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these Amazon sweatpants these have

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become a necessity for me yes like and

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it was the first time cuz like I think

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like I like to be cozy sure but I think

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it was the first time that I was like oh

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no what what do I do I don't have these

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sweatpants

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anymore so that is literally the energy

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Adam is bringing he's like his whole

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life he feels like is in shambles at

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this point it's not but he just doesn't

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feel good he's not happy he's anxious

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and he's really struggling so he has a

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high stress uh high-profile sort of job

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they have forced him to take vacation

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not because anything is wrong just

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because he hasn't taken time off in 3

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years and he has so much PTO they were

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like you you have to take time off

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that's it so they forced him to take two

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weeks most companies not have like a you

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can only roll over so much do do I think

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that was the issue I think that was the

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isue he was coming to the end of his

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like rollover where he could acrew after

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years I want his PTO plan that's that's

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what I'm really getting at so my husband

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is notorious for just having maxed PTO

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at all times and I don't understand it

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because he does take time off he just AC

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Cruis it so fast because he's been there

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for so long that he can't burn it fast

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enough so he just gives it away to

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people like he hears that somebody's out

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sick he gives them some PTO he hears

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somebody had a baby he gives them some

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PTO he's like sweet he was like I mean I

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have the document like printed and saved

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on my desk so I can just jot it down

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real quick and give it to HR a and

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that's the energy I feel from Adam where

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he's like I don't need it I don't want

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it like he thrives on routine and that's

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what he wants like he wants the routine

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he like he finds a lot of comfort in it

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so even though this is meant to be a

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time for him to recharge and take care

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of himself it does not feel that way yes

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he's not excited about this vacation no

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so he's at the mall trying to find a new

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hoodie and it's Christmas stuff

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everywhere um and he is just getting

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increasingly

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agitated um you know we find out his

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boyfriend dumped him like about a year

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ago uh because he was too needy his

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parents don't really talk to him and

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he's thinking you know he really wants

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to find a boyfriend more than that he

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wants what what he refers to as like a a

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full-time Dom not somebody you're just

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doing scenes with but somebody that is

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like a full-time Dom um but he feels

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like he's too needy to ever have a

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relationship like that so he's just down

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on himself all over the place

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um he

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at one point somebody like bumps him cuz

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the mall is like overrun with people and

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it hurts and he he's like wow I'm I'm

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kind of being like a little bit of a

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wimp about this and then his exact quote

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is um why do some things feel so

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unpleasant but an actual whipping can

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make me

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come which I found fun and interesting

268
00:11:53,200 --> 00:12:00,920
what a what a way to to let us know

269
00:11:56,160 --> 00:12:03,079
where Adam is at um

270
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:05,000
so he's like wow someone pushed my

271
00:12:03,079 --> 00:12:08,240
shoulder lightly and that really hurt

272
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:13,240
but I can only orgasm if someone's

273
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:15,040
actively spanking me like basically like

274
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:19,040
I I don't think the thought is I can

275
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:24,079
only orgasm then but like definitely can

276
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:26,639
like you know so uh he's like he decides

277
00:12:24,079 --> 00:12:29,120
he's going to go to the sex club he used

278
00:12:26,639 --> 00:12:31,560
to go to with his ex he he feels like he

279
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:34,720
lost his friend group after their

280
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:38,440
breakup because he didn't they were all

281
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:41,519
friends together mhm and he's been back

282
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:43,360
occasionally but not all the time and he

283
00:12:41,519 --> 00:12:46,519
just doesn't feel like he fits there

284
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:50,320
anymore but he decides he's going to go

285
00:12:46,519 --> 00:12:53,800
um so he their friend group fell apart

286
00:12:50,320 --> 00:13:00,160
partly because um he saw his friend Tate

287
00:12:53,800 --> 00:13:02,760
who is a trans male um he had dumped his

288
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:05,399
girlfriend so they got together while

289
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:08,600
Tate was transitioning and then the

290
00:13:05,399 --> 00:13:11,199
girlfriend was no longer into it and it

291
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:13,320
was like a whole thing that kind of like

292
00:13:11,199 --> 00:13:15,959
and then Adam and his boyfriend broke up

293
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:18,680
and the whole friend group kind of just

294
00:13:15,959 --> 00:13:21,079
deteriorated so the last time he was at

295
00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:24,079
the club he saw Tate and Tate was trying

296
00:13:21,079 --> 00:13:26,959
to flirt with him and he just like shut

297
00:13:24,079 --> 00:13:30,399
down because he doesn't he's not good

298
00:13:26,959 --> 00:13:32,880
with the social interaction and so he

299
00:13:30,399 --> 00:13:37,120
was like I mean I want to see Tate he's

300
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:40,800
super hot but I don't wanna I I can't I

301
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:43,199
can't talk to him like so basically what

302
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:45,920
we find out is that when he goes to this

303
00:13:43,199 --> 00:13:48,519
club some of the people who run it some

304
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:52,320
of his close friends essentially will

305
00:13:48,519 --> 00:13:54,920
match him with a Dom that they trust and

306
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:56,519
work out the terms for him so that he

307
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:59,519
never has to

308
00:13:56,519 --> 00:14:02,079
actually good friends very good friends

309
00:13:59,519 --> 00:14:03,040
and a high level of trust from Adam for

310
00:14:02,079 --> 00:14:05,800
these

311
00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:08,959
people um but that's what he has done he

312
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:10,440
doesn't do it often really at all um but

313
00:14:08,959 --> 00:14:12,639
if he's going to hook up that's the way

314
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:15,600
that he does it so for Tate to approach

315
00:14:12,639 --> 00:14:19,360
him is like a big hard no for him but

316
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:22,079
Tate doesn't know that oh

317
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:26,040
okay so

318
00:14:22,079 --> 00:14:28,480
um he decides you know what I understand

319
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:31,320
that it's midafternoon I don't care I'm

320
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:34,360
going to the club he's like I am over

321
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:36,199
Christmas right now it is in my face I

322
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:39,199
don't have did he find a sweatshirt or

323
00:14:36,199 --> 00:14:40,839
does he give up he gave up so I know

324
00:14:39,199 --> 00:14:43,240
nothing felt right so he gave up on the

325
00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:45,880
sweatshirt so

326
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:49,440
he he feels like Christmas is just like

327
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:52,440
in his face and there's like a single

328
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:55,040
manora in all of the the shop windows

329
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:56,639
and he's like honestly Hanukkah really

330
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:59,839
isn't even one of the high holidays who

331
00:14:56,639 --> 00:15:02,000
gives a [ __ ] but like come on on like

332
00:14:59,839 --> 00:15:05,560
come on and he's getting like

333
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:07,839
increasingly agitated about it mhm um

334
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:10,199
and it makes him feel more and more

335
00:15:07,839 --> 00:15:12,399
invisible so he feels invisible in life

336
00:15:10,199 --> 00:15:15,199
anyway but then

337
00:15:12,399 --> 00:15:18,199
for he feels like his culture is being

338
00:15:15,199 --> 00:15:20,279
sort of erased everywhere he looks and

339
00:15:18,199 --> 00:15:21,279
so he just feels more and more isolated

340
00:15:20,279 --> 00:15:24,680
and

341
00:15:21,279 --> 00:15:26,440
invisible so uh he feels really good

342
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:28,680
about his decision to go to the club

343
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:31,880
he's like here for it he's excited we're

344
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:34,720
doing it so he walks in mid afternoon J

345
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:37,279
the Club Mid mid-afternoon J to the sex

346
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:40,480
club yes um which I think is called

347
00:15:37,279 --> 00:15:44,040
Escape I think um well he was escaping

348
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:46,199
them all he was so he walks in and there

349
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:50,160
is Tate decorating a Christmas

350
00:15:46,199 --> 00:15:53,920
tree and Adam loses his ever loving [ __ ]

351
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:57,240
one of the owners no he's just a regular

352
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:59,440
so the the feel of this is very much the

353
00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:02,440
way that my friends who are active in

354
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:04,920
Kink communities describe theirs where

355
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:07,040
it is sort of a big family where people

356
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:08,360
just show up and they hang out and

357
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,959
sometimes there's a scene sometimes

358
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:11,800
there isn't but they do holidays

359
00:16:09,959 --> 00:16:13,920
together and things like that that's the

360
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:16,279
energy so Tate is just helping to

361
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:19,160
decorate for their holiday party well

362
00:16:16,279 --> 00:16:21,000
and okay I was having not a conversation

363
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:23,759
about Kink communities recently but I

364
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:26,360
was talking to a co-worker about where

365
00:16:23,759 --> 00:16:29,279
you find your community as an

366
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:31,600
adult and

367
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:33,720
cuz he was talking [ __ ] about one of his

368
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:37,120
friends who had joined um like a

369
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:39,040
crossfit box and was like I think my

370
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:41,600
friend joined a cult and I was kind of

371
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:44,319
like well if you think about it like

372
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:46,920
where do you meet you meet people like I

373
00:16:44,319 --> 00:16:48,920
feel like a lot of like you you grow up

374
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:51,199
with friends that are just old friends a

375
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:53,920
lot of adults find friends in religious

376
00:16:51,199 --> 00:16:56,079
communities um or hobby communities

377
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:58,480
which I would include like physical

378
00:16:56,079 --> 00:17:01,680
fitness like kind of can fall in that

379
00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:03,880
category right I'm like yeah my cousin

380
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:05,880
still has friends that he will he used

381
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:09,760
to live in Nashville he now lives in

382
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:11,439
Texas 10 15 years later and he had

383
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,679
joined a running club when he had first

384
00:17:11,439 --> 00:17:16,319
moved to Nashville and he still flies

385
00:17:13,679 --> 00:17:17,720
back to do events with that friend group

386
00:17:16,319 --> 00:17:20,559
yeah right

387
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:22,120
exactly but I yeah we've just had a big

388
00:17:20,559 --> 00:17:24,360
conversation very recently about like

389
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:25,880
where do you find friends as an adult so

390
00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:28,079
like it makes complete sense to me that

391
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:31,280
like you're like oh like-minded people

392
00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:34,039
who feel safe with and Trust of course I

393
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:37,240
want to spend more time there absolutely

394
00:17:34,039 --> 00:17:40,320
and it's you know it you're right he

395
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:43,840
doesn't feel like he can fit in or have

396
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:48,080
community at work he's very good at when

397
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:50,000
he focuses his anxiety kind of eases and

398
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:52,640
so he's very good at his job he's a team

399
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:54,679
lead and even with his anxiety he's able

400
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:57,919
to like manage all this stuff and he

401
00:17:54,679 --> 00:18:00,440
does really great um outside of that

402
00:17:57,919 --> 00:18:03,320
structure though he has a very difficult

403
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:05,799
time but because he has been in this

404
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:09,080
Kink Community it would seem for several

405
00:18:05,799 --> 00:18:10,679
years they know him he trusts them they

406
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:12,520
understand his anxiety and they really

407
00:18:10,679 --> 00:18:13,960
support him through that which is what

408
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:16,400
he needs cuz he doesn't get it from his

409
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:20,919
own family either

410
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:25,080
so he sees Tate decorating a Christmas

411
00:18:20,919 --> 00:18:27,640
tree and loses his [ __ ] and he just

412
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:28,840
walks over and like kicks a a present

413
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,880
box

414
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:34,840
like an empty one that's just for

415
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:38,280
decoration he just kicks it and Tate's

416
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:41,080
like hey hey Adam you you okay bud like

417
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:44,039
what you doing you good my dude and Adam

418
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:44,919
is so escalated he can't even respond

419
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:48,159
and

420
00:18:44,919 --> 00:18:52,080
so this is the way that it is described

421
00:18:48,159 --> 00:18:54,400
is Tate puts on his daddy voice and uh

422
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:56,080
tells him to Kick the Box again like he

423
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:58,080
can see that he's having a hard time and

424
00:18:56,080 --> 00:19:00,919
needs some kind of release so he tells

425
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:03,840
him to Kick the Box again and so Adam

426
00:19:00,919 --> 00:19:08,320
Goes Bananas and he starts yelling about

427
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:12,559
how um no one cares about him no one

428
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:14,360
asks him about um his his holidays like

429
00:19:12,559 --> 00:19:15,919
he names several he's talking about yam

430
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:20,880
kapor and rashash Shana and all this

431
00:19:15,919 --> 00:19:24,080
other stuff um and uh he's always alone

432
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:27,080
you know and he is a regular attendee of

433
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:30,159
synagogue like he goes every single

434
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:32,960
Saturday but he still doesn't have like

435
00:19:30,159 --> 00:19:34,240
the religious community aspect of that

436
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:37,559
and so he doesn't have people to

437
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:40,799
celebrate these major holidays with and

438
00:19:37,559 --> 00:19:42,919
so after he destroys a bunch of stuff he

439
00:19:40,799 --> 00:19:45,679
just starts sobbing his eyeballs out

440
00:19:42,919 --> 00:19:49,000
while Tate holds him like he had this

441
00:19:45,679 --> 00:19:52,799
big like explosion of emotion and then

442
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:55,039
it seemed like a a an adrenaline crash

443
00:19:52,799 --> 00:19:57,120
after literally what I was just thinking

444
00:19:55,039 --> 00:19:58,919
yeah like a big adrenaline Crash from

445
00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:01,240
all this rage that he had been kind of

446
00:19:58,919 --> 00:20:03,400
holding on to really since his breakup

447
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:07,240
which had been a very significant amount

448
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:09,520
of time yeah uh you said it the breakup

449
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:11,360
had been like a year before I think it

450
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:15,480
it may have been even longer but it was

451
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:18,360
at least a year um and so he realizes

452
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:20,600
that he feels warm and safe with Tate

453
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:22,919
kind of holding him um and he's just

454
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:25,280
kind of quietly talking to him and he

455
00:20:22,919 --> 00:20:27,640
gives him some water and just kind of

456
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:30,000
sits with him while he comes down and

457
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:33,640
then he start to lick Tate's neck and

458
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:39,760
then realizes what he's doing and is

459
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:43,559
like like oh no oh abort Mission like

460
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:46,559
like I've made a mistake um and he's

461
00:20:43,559 --> 00:20:48,919
like like was just cuddled in Tate's

462
00:20:46,559 --> 00:20:53,480
laugh and Tate was taking care of him

463
00:20:48,919 --> 00:20:58,640
and like he was just comfy yeah

464
00:20:53,480 --> 00:21:00,919
yeah so uh he's like I really like this

465
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:02,720
guy is the kicker to all of this like I

466
00:21:00,919 --> 00:21:04,240
really like him he's super hot they've

467
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,440
been friends for years because they were

468
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:08,720
in the same friend group and he's like

469
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:10,400
and now I've probably ruined any chance

470
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:12,360
we have at like rebuilding our

471
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:14,640
friendship after all this time because I

472
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:16,360
just destroyed all the hard work that he

473
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:19,080
did and then made it weird by licking

474
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:21,039
his neck great work like but was Tate

475
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:22,080
into the the neck licking well he

476
00:21:21,039 --> 00:21:24,520
doesn't

477
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:26,279
know so he's like he got two in his head

478
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:28,799
about it right so he's trying to pull

479
00:21:26,279 --> 00:21:32,760
away and Tate like

480
00:21:28,799 --> 00:21:35,720
holds on to him tighter um and Adam

481
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:37,440
keeps reminding myself like he is not my

482
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,919
daddy like that's what he's looking for

483
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:42,159
that's like the Dom type he's looking

484
00:21:38,919 --> 00:21:44,559
for he's like Tate's not my daddy he's

485
00:21:42,159 --> 00:21:46,279
not my dom like I need to have bound

486
00:21:44,559 --> 00:21:48,320
like emotional boundaries here through

487
00:21:46,279 --> 00:21:51,159
this and need to recognize what this is

488
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:52,840
and what this isn't exactly so he says

489
00:21:51,159 --> 00:21:54,159
that out loud like you're not my daddy

490
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:58,640
you don't have to take care of me it's

491
00:21:54,159 --> 00:22:00,240
okay um he's like you know but I I know

492
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,799
I understand this wasn't a scene like we

493
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:04,840
didn't set this up I'm really really

494
00:22:01,799 --> 00:22:08,559
sorry uh and Tate just tells him not to

495
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:10,880
move he's like don't move so we kind of

496
00:22:08,559 --> 00:22:13,480
we sort of get both points of view but

497
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:16,960
it's all in third person so that was

498
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:20,799
like Adam's setup for this whole thing

499
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:24,200
so we go to Tate and he is super excited

500
00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:26,200
that Adam is in his arms uh he's always

501
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:29,000
wanted more with him he's always thought

502
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:32,720
he was really attractive

503
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:35,320
um and he's realizing now that a lot of

504
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:39,520
the weirdness because Tate had moved

505
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:41,520
away for a while okay and then came back

506
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:43,880
and had like finished his

507
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:46,200
transition got it or as much transition

508
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:50,960
as he was going to do like he did all of

509
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:53,200
that and he had started tea and there's

510
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:55,600
like a lot of discussion of all of that

511
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:57,520
and um so he knew he looked different

512
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:59,640
and he was like maybe he's not attracted

513
00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:01,400
to me who maybe aren't as familiar could

514
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:07,000
you explain what tea is for people yes

515
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:09,840
tea is testosterone um so there are

516
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:11,760
varing ways in which a person can

517
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:13,480
express their gender and so sometimes

518
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:16,360
that's through medical intervention and

519
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:19,520
T is just one of those medical

520
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:23,679
interventions um and

521
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:25,559
so uh yeah he's like he's really anxious

522
00:23:23,679 --> 00:23:26,880
but he seems to be into me if the neck

523
00:23:25,559 --> 00:23:30,799
lick is any

524
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:33,760
indication he's like seems like uh I

525
00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:36,480
might be misreading this but but seems

526
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:39,159
like I I might have a Fighting Chance

527
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:41,640
yeah like maybe maybe this is my chance

528
00:23:39,159 --> 00:23:43,960
and I'm going to take it you know way to

529
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:47,960
shoot your shot right we can respect it

530
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:50,480
yes so he keeps referring to Adam as his

531
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:53,080
boy like in his mind like that's my boy

532
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:55,559
and stuff like that um and he really

533
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:58,039
really really wants to take care of him

534
00:23:55,559 --> 00:24:00,559
um so he he's trying to figure figure

535
00:23:58,039 --> 00:24:03,640
out how do I do that like how do I do

536
00:24:00,559 --> 00:24:05,520
that in a way that it feels safe for him

537
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:08,240
and like all that other stuff he's like

538
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:11,360
I'm pretty sure that we are

539
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:14,600
compatible um in a lot of ways in terms

540
00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:17,880
of like Kink and in terms of what

541
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:21,240
they're looking for but he doesn't know

542
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:23,600
for sure because Adam is so anxious he

543
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:27,799
has a hard time communicating all

544
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:29,840
that so um like in a way where almost

545
00:24:27,799 --> 00:24:32,679
ically Tate would be someone that they

546
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:34,840
would set Adam up with as far as like

547
00:24:32,679 --> 00:24:38,760
exactly yep you are looking for the same

548
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:39,880
thing we stress this person we like but

549
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:42,840
hasn't been able to have that

550
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:45,919
conversation exactly and and Adam and

551
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:47,880
Tate both want more they are looking for

552
00:24:45,919 --> 00:24:50,159
the same type of relationship they just

553
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:52,200
don't know that yet don't know it yet um

554
00:24:50,159 --> 00:24:55,320
they're they're going like man I really

555
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:58,559
wish this was out there for me exactly

556
00:24:55,320 --> 00:25:00,520
exactly uh so Adam is so out of it he

557
00:24:58,559 --> 00:25:04,840
doesn't even notice people like walking

558
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:07,880
by or one of the other uh people in the

559
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:10,240
community bringing Adam water like he

560
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:12,520
doesn't notice any of it and Tate is

561
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:14,720
just like obviously I have to take care

562
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:17,559
of him like you know he's not he's not

563
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:20,640
in a good place he finds him super

564
00:25:17,559 --> 00:25:22,960
adorable Tate finds Adam super adorable

565
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:25,320
um and he tells him that it's an honor

566
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:28,120
that Adam felt safe enough to let go

567
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:29,960
like that that he felt safe enough to

568
00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:33,440
have that kind of emotional experience

569
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:36,440
with him what a beautiful reframe of

570
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:38,679
something that like I think historically

571
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:40,919
people can feel a lot of like shame and

572
00:25:38,679 --> 00:25:43,480
embarrassment exactly and that's

573
00:25:40,919 --> 00:25:47,279
definitely where Adam starts out like a

574
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:51,200
lot of Shame and embarrassment so

575
00:25:47,279 --> 00:25:52,919
um Tate has been questioning because

576
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:54,919
every time he's tried to flirt with Adam

577
00:25:52,919 --> 00:25:56,600
Adam has gotten weird and he thought it

578
00:25:54,919 --> 00:25:59,039
was because he was trans he was like

579
00:25:56,600 --> 00:26:01,880
maybe he's just not into me because of

580
00:25:59,039 --> 00:26:06,480
that and then he starts to realize that

581
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:09,679
it's it's because of the anxiety um and

582
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:12,120
so you know Adam had said I didn't think

583
00:26:09,679 --> 00:26:15,880
you were into me and Tate's

584
00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:18,200
like buddy I've been flirting with you

585
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:21,080
hardcore I've been trying so hard to

586
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:22,799
flirt with you for so long yes he's like

587
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,399
I stopped because I thought I was making

588
00:26:22,799 --> 00:26:26,480
you uncomfortable and you weren't into

589
00:26:24,399 --> 00:26:31,080
it because I'm trans and Adam's like no

590
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:37,720
no I'm very into all of it just anxious

591
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:41,559
yeah it's a very cute moment um so

592
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:44,240
um Tate like the the theme of the whole

593
00:26:41,559 --> 00:26:46,880
book really is that Tate works so hard

594
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:49,520
to understand where Adam is coming from

595
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:53,320
and like what what's going on instead of

596
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:56,120
making assumptions or um decisions for

597
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:59,840
him he really tries to understand what's

598
00:26:56,120 --> 00:27:03,679
going on with him I got to say what an

599
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:06,399
admirable quality I know

600
00:27:03,679 --> 00:27:08,559
because well one it's an admirable

601
00:27:06,399 --> 00:27:11,039
quality period like no

602
00:27:08,559 --> 00:27:14,000
comma but I will also

603
00:27:11,039 --> 00:27:18,039
say that is something that like I did

604
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:20,080
not realize was a difficulty of mine

605
00:27:18,039 --> 00:27:23,080
because I think like I'm always just

606
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:26,360
like moving so fast

607
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:28,799
right and I like let's say sure I get it

608
00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:30,159
right like 7 to 8% of the time I'm like

609
00:27:28,799 --> 00:27:32,399
nope knew where we were going already

610
00:27:30,159 --> 00:27:35,120
got there on to the next like help me

611
00:27:32,399 --> 00:27:37,559
help you my guy like right but then

612
00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:38,799
there's like the 20 to 25 and obviously

613
00:27:37,559 --> 00:27:40,159
these numbers I probably get it wrong

614
00:27:38,799 --> 00:27:42,080
way more [ __ ] often than that these

615
00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:43,799
are generous numbers in my comtable

616
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:46,360
giving you that kind of credit I'm good

617
00:27:43,799 --> 00:27:50,120
with that thank you thank you but I feel

618
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:54,360
like that's something that I didn't

619
00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:58,120
realize I did and now being married for

620
00:27:54,360 --> 00:28:00,600
years and years I'm very aware

621
00:27:58,120 --> 00:28:01,760
of like I hell I'm pretty sure I did it

622
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:03,480
several times this week and there are

623
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:06,080
times where my husband's

624
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:08,440
like in the kindest way possible if you

625
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:12,200
let me finish my

626
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:14,519
sentence that's that's not where we were

627
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:16,159
ending um see how you got there but if

628
00:28:14,519 --> 00:28:17,600
you could let me finish my sentence

629
00:28:16,159 --> 00:28:18,760
you'd see that we weren't going to end

630
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:23,000
there

631
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:24,919
either so just I truly appreciate that

632
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:27,799
quality because that is not a quality

633
00:28:24,919 --> 00:28:30,159
that comes naturally to me right and so

634
00:28:27,799 --> 00:28:32,880
seeing people who do it better I'm like

635
00:28:30,159 --> 00:28:36,640
one it's not hard to do it better but

636
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:39,600
being like oh oh what a healthy that's

637
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:41,720
so precious and and kind cuz like I'm

638
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:44,279
the same way and it's usually for me it

639
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:46,760
comes from a place of anxiety where I'm

640
00:28:44,279 --> 00:28:49,720
like so anxious to understand that I

641
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:54,080
overshoot and so then I like mess it up

642
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:57,000
yes and so for for like the Kink

643
00:28:54,080 --> 00:29:01,840
Community as well that's a big deal for

644
00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:04,519
him to to be that uh gentle and open

645
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:08,919
because he is definitely still a Dom and

646
00:29:04,519 --> 00:29:12,679
also the way in which he is dominant is

647
00:29:08,919 --> 00:29:16,200
also kind and supportive and caring

648
00:29:12,679 --> 00:29:19,039
rather than like a aggressive maybe is

649
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:21,000
the word I want okay this is going to be

650
00:29:19,039 --> 00:29:23,440
a very weird pivot but just go with me

651
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:25,039
on this okay I'll track well as you know

652
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:27,519
I watched The Challenge a lot when I was

653
00:29:25,039 --> 00:29:29,679
pregnant and now my baby loves TJ Lavin

654
00:29:27,519 --> 00:29:32,200
voice and stops crying if TJ laughing is

655
00:29:29,679 --> 00:29:33,159
on but I did know that but at some point

656
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:36,000
I'm

657
00:29:33,159 --> 00:29:38,320
like we we got to we got to switch to

658
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:41,399
miss Rachel or Bluey my dude we got to

659
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:44,039
find a different Comfort show but what I

660
00:29:41,399 --> 00:29:47,240
always find super interesting is on like

661
00:29:44,039 --> 00:29:51,559
team challenges or like partner

662
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:54,279
challenges um the differences in

663
00:29:51,559 --> 00:29:55,880
partners and the part like just cuz

664
00:29:54,279 --> 00:29:57,519
there are some where you're like you are

665
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,159
screaming at this person and they're not

666
00:29:57,519 --> 00:30:00,600
moving fast enough and you're like I'm

667
00:29:59,159 --> 00:30:02,679
[ __ ] pushing you up this mountain and

668
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:04,519
like an aggressive way that you're like

669
00:30:02,679 --> 00:30:06,799
this isn't helpful at all versus the

670
00:30:04,519 --> 00:30:08,880
people that are like okay you're doing

671
00:30:06,799 --> 00:30:10,919
so incredible like I know you have that

672
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:12,960
weighted pack on your shoulders like

673
00:30:10,919 --> 00:30:14,640
right okay yep just how can I help you

674
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:16,440
we got to make it 50 more yards than

675
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:18,240
we're at the puzzle or like hey if we

676
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:20,000
make it up to this hill I'll take 10 of

677
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:22,279
your pounds off your like out of your

678
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:25,279
pack and put it in mine right

679
00:30:22,279 --> 00:30:28,840
MH and sure sometimes the aggressive

680
00:30:25,279 --> 00:30:31,519
people win but do they win right like

681
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:33,240
right no because when it like everyone

682
00:30:31,519 --> 00:30:34,720
just thinks you're a huge piece of [ __ ]

683
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:36,760
when that's when that's how you're

684
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:40,279
communicating versus the people who were

685
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:43,880
like like there was one challenge where

686
00:30:40,279 --> 00:30:46,159
uh the guy was like listen I know I'm

687
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:48,799
the last place dude and I know she's the

688
00:30:46,159 --> 00:30:50,840
last place female no amount of time that

689
00:30:48,799 --> 00:30:52,960
I like I like I can't catch up I've

690
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:54,799
already lost so instead of leaving her

691
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:57,240
in the wind and just letting this girl

692
00:30:54,799 --> 00:30:58,919
finish the run on her own I'm going

693
00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:00,440
going to stay with her and encourage her

694
00:30:58,919 --> 00:31:02,960
and support her through it and like

695
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:04,600
we'll cross the finish line together yes

696
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:08,799
in a way where you're like

697
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:10,559
Oh What a Beautiful M like just like

698
00:31:08,799 --> 00:31:13,679
those moments where you're like you

699
00:31:10,559 --> 00:31:17,880
don't you don't have to be in a dominant

700
00:31:13,679 --> 00:31:20,200
role and be an [ __ ] exactly so I'm

701
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:24,120
loving that energy in this book and it's

702
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:26,519
so different from most of the romance

703
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:28,840
out there because it usually is very

704
00:31:26,519 --> 00:31:31,559
mutually exclusive like if somebody is

705
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:33,519
dominant then they're also a dick yes

706
00:31:31,559 --> 00:31:38,240
and that's just not true for Tate which

707
00:31:33,519 --> 00:31:41,120
is really cool yes here for this so Tate

708
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:43,919
is enjoying this entire interaction Adam

709
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:45,559
is being a little bit bratty and needy

710
00:31:43,919 --> 00:31:47,919
and he's like I'm into this whole

711
00:31:45,559 --> 00:31:52,639
situation I'm loving it starts calling

712
00:31:47,919 --> 00:31:55,840
him his little star um and um this book

713
00:31:52,639 --> 00:31:58,039
is so intering I know it's really sweet

714
00:31:55,840 --> 00:32:04,200
um and so they t start talking about

715
00:31:58,039 --> 00:32:07,919
Adam's past hookups and his needs um and

716
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:10,279
uh he's like super turned on that Adam

717
00:32:07,919 --> 00:32:11,840
is following his directions like cuz

718
00:32:10,279 --> 00:32:14,240
Adam tries to get up a couple of times

719
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:16,320
and he's like stay come back you know

720
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:18,159
and he's like following all the

721
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:20,960
directions

722
00:32:18,159 --> 00:32:23,639
um he Adam is like I'm I don't want to

723
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:25,799
be too much like you know he's like well

724
00:32:23,639 --> 00:32:27,360
you're brater than I thought like I'm

725
00:32:25,799 --> 00:32:28,720
loving that and he's like I'm really

726
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:31,360
sorry and Adam's like oh do I need to

727
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:33,840
turn it down he's like do I need to I

728
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:36,159
and he's trying to like turn it down and

729
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:39,960
and you know make himself less

730
00:32:36,159 --> 00:32:41,399
essentially um and Tate is like hey so

731
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:43,000
you're going to come home with me and

732
00:32:41,399 --> 00:32:47,559
I'm going to take care of

733
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:52,039
you and um Adam is like well for for how

734
00:32:47,559 --> 00:32:54,639
long and Tate is thinking forever but

735
00:32:52,039 --> 00:32:57,840
that would be weird uh can't say that

736
00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:59,919
this soon he's like so uh for eight days

737
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:03,559
you're coming home with me for Hanukkah

738
00:32:59,919 --> 00:33:06,559
right and so um I see I see what we did

739
00:33:03,559 --> 00:33:09,760
there yeah so it's all very sweet and

740
00:33:06,559 --> 00:33:12,559
again we don't get all of their history

741
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:14,799
but they've known each other for years

742
00:33:12,559 --> 00:33:16,760
because on one hand I was like big yikes

743
00:33:14,799 --> 00:33:19,320
Bud why didn't anybody else in the club

744
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:21,720
say anything cuz that felt really risky

745
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:23,519
if they're always caring for Adam but

746
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:25,360
they've both been going to this club for

747
00:33:23,519 --> 00:33:28,120
a long time they've both known each

748
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:30,639
other for a long time so I still felt

749
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:31,919
that you know if anything was unsafe the

750
00:33:30,639 --> 00:33:35,080
people in the club would have said

751
00:33:31,919 --> 00:33:36,760
something um so Adam's freaking out I

752
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,440
love you looking out for Adam like that

753
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:42,159
I know I was like

754
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:45,480
a you're like not my Adam

755
00:33:42,159 --> 00:33:48,320
never so he's freaking out uh because he

756
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:52,159
doesn't know the plan so because I have

757
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:54,880
similar anxiety I need to know the plan

758
00:33:52,159 --> 00:33:56,519
yeah I need to know we did this last

759
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:58,720
night when we were discussing what we

760
00:33:56,519 --> 00:34:03,039
were wearing ing today I was like maybe

761
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:04,760
I need to bring options you were like no

762
00:34:03,039 --> 00:34:06,919
ironically when you said you were

763
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:09,599
bringing options I thought that means

764
00:34:06,919 --> 00:34:12,919
Hannah's going to bring a flannel button

765
00:34:09,599 --> 00:34:14,280
up and then you showed up in my house

766
00:34:12,919 --> 00:34:17,079
wearing a flannel button up and I was

767
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:19,040
like I'm so I know Hannah we've been

768
00:34:17,079 --> 00:34:21,960
friends for years now I was like I got

769
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:24,040
that [ __ ] right oh my god well that's

770
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:27,440
this is like my hoodie like that's my

771
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:30,560
comfort hoodie is my flannel um but

772
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:33,960
anyway so Adam is panicking because he

773
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:37,320
doesn't know the plan so Tate is able to

774
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:39,320
read the anxiety and he's like what do

775
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:41,720
you need and he's like I don't know and

776
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:43,359
he's like what's going and he like

777
00:34:41,720 --> 00:34:46,960
explores it with him and then he tells

778
00:34:43,359 --> 00:34:48,879
him um okay so here's the plan um I'm

779
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:51,520
going to give you a bath we're going to

780
00:34:48,879 --> 00:34:53,119
cuddle there's going to be no sex we're

781
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,240
going to order your dinner and then

782
00:34:53,119 --> 00:34:56,399
we're going to go to

783
00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:59,920
bed and we're going to sleep a [ __ ]

784
00:34:56,399 --> 00:35:03,839
great night I know I was like a throw a

785
00:34:59,920 --> 00:35:07,359
puzzle in there I know right I'm

786
00:35:03,839 --> 00:35:10,960
sold throw in a season of The Challenge

787
00:35:07,359 --> 00:35:13,960
and you have Chelsea

788
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:17,000
catnip honestly we've watched so many

789
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:18,560
it's like burning are we over it

790
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:22,079
now

791
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:24,240
I I've I know I've watched too much

792
00:35:22,079 --> 00:35:25,520
because we started going through the old

793
00:35:24,240 --> 00:35:28,720
Seasons because I was like we've watched

794
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:29,599
all of the newer ones um Seasons 10

795
00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:32,680
through

796
00:35:29,599 --> 00:35:34,880
38 are available on Paramount

797
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:37,839
plus oh

798
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:40,480
Chelsea yeah now I will also say this a

799
00:35:37,839 --> 00:35:43,320
lot of like the early Seasons they were

800
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:45,280
like the 20 minute episodes the show got

801
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:47,359
more popular they became like hourlong

802
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:49,200
episodes but then the seasons became a

803
00:35:47,359 --> 00:35:51,040
lot shorter right and then they were

804
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:55,960
like okay now these are like longer

805
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:57,319
episodes and longer Seasons um so I will

806
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:59,520
say it is also something that's like

807
00:35:57,319 --> 00:36:02,480
normally like passively on in the

808
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:03,920
background it's not something that like

809
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:06,240
you're actively

810
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:08,359
watching yeah like when they're like can

811
00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:11,560
you name all of the seasons in order I'm

812
00:36:08,359 --> 00:36:13,560
like what like who won this season like

813
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:16,079
when like you're watching like trivia on

814
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:18,480
the show and I'm like y'all know these

815
00:36:16,079 --> 00:36:20,920
things like right I'm like I have pretty

816
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:22,480
good attention to detail no [ __ ] clue

817
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:25,040
yeah I'm like there's there's too many

818
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:27,280
seasons there's too many things well and

819
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:30,640
we have other priorities

820
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:32,760
yes then who won the 37th season of The

821
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:34,359
Challenge yeah well like cuz like

822
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:36,520
Amazing Race and Survivor and like all

823
00:36:34,359 --> 00:36:38,160
of those shows are like like big brother

824
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:40,119
I think is on like season 25 or

825
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:43,079
something where all of them are pretty

826
00:36:40,119 --> 00:36:44,760
far in and I'm not [ __ ] on this at

827
00:36:43,079 --> 00:36:48,640
all but it's a legitimate question I

828
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:50,480
have like does the being the winner of

829
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:54,880
season

830
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:57,599
33 feel as good or carry the same like

831
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:59,079
Prestige yes yeah I don't know that's a

832
00:36:57,599 --> 00:37:02,200
good question just like with all of the

833
00:36:59,079 --> 00:37:04,640
shows not just the challenge right yeah

834
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:06,480
I and especially now that like it's just

835
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:08,839
its whole universe right so like you

836
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:11,079
start on One show and then you'll like

837
00:37:08,839 --> 00:37:14,079
Go crossover and be a guest on like a

838
00:37:11,079 --> 00:37:16,880
bunch of other shows

839
00:37:14,079 --> 00:37:19,920
right yeah I mean it feels very like a

840
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:21,880
closed circuit you know it's like cool

841
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:23,480
you just have to like get your in on one

842
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:26,800
of these in you can't get out and if

843
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:30,000
they like you right you can stay in this

844
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:32,599
this universe as long you want yes which

845
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:36,200
is a wild thing to think about like that

846
00:37:32,599 --> 00:37:38,960
can that's your job yeah that is weird

847
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:40,160
yeah I mean it's interesting well cuz

848
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:42,640
there are some people who like do the

849
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:44,720
challenge and historically they're like

850
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:46,760
this is my like this is my job this is

851
00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:48,520
what I do cuz I don't know how often

852
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:51,319
they shoot but I mean if you make it

853
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:52,520
you're shooting for at least probably

854
00:37:51,319 --> 00:37:54,880
two months if you make it through the

855
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:57,760
full competition you know MH like that's

856
00:37:54,880 --> 00:38:00,040
a long time a long time and the

857
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:01,800
physical capabilities that you need for

858
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:04,440
so many of those shows that you're like

859
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:05,560
cool well I got cut early because I

860
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:08,400
wasn't

861
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:11,480
physically in shape so now I'm working

862
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:12,960
out way more in the off season so I can

863
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:14,280
come back and win and then it's just

864
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:17,400
like next thing you know it's like a

865
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:20,119
professional athlete for your Seasons

866
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:23,319
well I also think what's like when these

867
00:38:20,119 --> 00:38:25,200
shows started like it was like 19 year

868
00:38:23,319 --> 00:38:26,280
olds 20 year olds on the real world

869
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:28,760
right and now you have people that

870
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:31,280
they're like like Johnny Bananas on the

871
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:34,640
challenge I think he's he's been in over

872
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:38,960
like he's been between 20 and 25 seasons

873
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:41,359
of the show like he's in his 40s now and

874
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:44,680
I'm like you are competing with people

875
00:38:41,359 --> 00:38:48,760
that like are now oh sorry that was

876
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:51,200
Craig oh I'm so sorry Craig oh my God

877
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:52,760
for those who didn't just see that Craig

878
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:54,280
was sniffing my foot and I thought

879
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:57,040
something was crawling on my foot and

880
00:38:54,280 --> 00:39:00,319
then I kicked and Craig

881
00:38:57,040 --> 00:39:03,079
um he's fine he's okay it wasn't like a

882
00:39:00,319 --> 00:39:04,880
large that was sorry Craig I didn't mean

883
00:39:03,079 --> 00:39:07,640
to kick you but yeah all that to say

884
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:09,599
like it's reality television is no

885
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:12,359
longer a young man's game corre you have

886
00:39:09,599 --> 00:39:14,800
people in their 30s 40s like 50s that

887
00:39:12,359 --> 00:39:16,560
are like yeah I've had kids I've like

888
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:20,880
had a

889
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:24,760
full career right and of this and now

890
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:26,599
I'm 45 and a reality star right but like

891
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:28,400
didn't start there some like you know

892
00:39:26,599 --> 00:39:29,839
I'm like some of the shows cool you got

893
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:33,560
on it when you were like in your late

894
00:39:29,839 --> 00:39:36,240
30s early 40s like you were you L led a

895
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:38,160
full life before that and now you're

896
00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:41,680
here right where others it's all they've

897
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:47,119
known it's weird I mean good for them

898
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:49,040
2023 is a weird year to be alive yes for

899
00:39:47,119 --> 00:39:52,119
a lot of reasons not just that but I do

900
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:57,839
think like the concept of like being an

901
00:39:52,119 --> 00:40:00,319
influencer 15 years ago yeah what yeah

902
00:39:57,839 --> 00:40:05,319
even still now that's how I know that

903
00:40:00,319 --> 00:40:09,040
like I'm I am no longer young really is

904
00:40:05,319 --> 00:40:11,160
like I don't I don't get it like I'm

905
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:15,119
like oh

906
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:18,000
no so why why is this person cool like

907
00:40:15,119 --> 00:40:21,119
what what is a yeet I'm like you know

908
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:23,480
what I mean um I asked I asked Vance

909
00:40:21,119 --> 00:40:27,079
recently I was like so talk to me about

910
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:29,359
Olivia Rodrigo and he's like what do you

911
00:40:27,079 --> 00:40:33,400
want to know I'm like where did she

912
00:40:29,359 --> 00:40:35,079
start how did we get here yes yeah and

913
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,760
then we looked it up and I was like oh

914
00:40:35,079 --> 00:40:39,560
what and now I'm forgetting if she was

915
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:40,880
like a Disney child start or something

916
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:45,319
like that but just one of those where I

917
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:47,000
was like how how is this 18 year however

918
00:40:45,319 --> 00:40:48,680
old she is that whole song about her

919
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:52,119
driver's license which I felt way too

920
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:54,880
old to be that emotionally impacted by

921
00:40:52,119 --> 00:40:57,079
well and I you know the other day we had

922
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:58,359
somebody you know at at work who was

923
00:40:57,079 --> 00:41:00,240
admitting and I was looking at their

924
00:40:58,359 --> 00:41:02,839
birth date and I was like that's got to

925
00:41:00,240 --> 00:41:04,440
be a typo you know they were born in

926
00:41:02,839 --> 00:41:08,160
like

927
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:11,880
2004 and I was like oh my God they made

928
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:13,640
people after 1998 I like really like I

929
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:16,119
really had hard time with it I saw a

930
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:18,560
post where someone was like biggest blow

931
00:41:16,119 --> 00:41:20,319
I've had recently was uh went to buy

932
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:22,400
some alcohol and when I handed them my

933
00:41:20,319 --> 00:41:23,680
ID they immediately handed it back and I

934
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:25,359
was like do you not need to check it she

935
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:28,240
was like oh no I saw your birthday it

936
00:41:25,359 --> 00:41:31,599
starts with a one like your birth year

937
00:41:28,240 --> 00:41:34,920
and I was like oh God oh God

938
00:41:31,599 --> 00:41:37,520
anyone oh [ __ ]

939
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:40,800
like oh my God I hadn't been prepared

940
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:42,599
for yeah that no no mentally or

941
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:44,400
emotionally did you see the Tweet a long

942
00:41:42,599 --> 00:41:45,960
time ago where someone was like someone

943
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:49,040
just said that I they're like oh yeah

944
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:51,119
she was born in the late 1900

945
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:54,319
yes I was

946
00:41:51,119 --> 00:41:55,800
like right right casual we're fine we're

947
00:41:54,319 --> 00:41:58,920
everything's okay we're all doing great

948
00:41:55,800 --> 00:42:02,520
I'm okay it's okay okay how did we do

949
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:04,920
this where were so Tate was explaining

950
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:08,440
to Adam how he was going to take care of

951
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:11,640
him yes so they get to Tate's house and

952
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:14,440
Tate had casually mentioned that Adam

953
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:19,119
was going to be punished for his

954
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:22,920
tantrum and Adam was like say more but

955
00:42:19,119 --> 00:42:27,240
Tate did not so they get home and uh

956
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:31,079
Adam is asking about his punishment um

957
00:42:27,240 --> 00:42:34,079
and he is like shocked by his own

958
00:42:31,079 --> 00:42:36,520
forwardness he's like why is this coming

959
00:42:34,079 --> 00:42:38,800
out of my mouth shut up shut up shut up

960
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:43,559
but he's still going for

961
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:46,040
it um so uh Tate says we'll talk over

962
00:42:43,559 --> 00:42:48,520
dinner um about what we're both looking

963
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:52,400
for right so to make sure we're on the

964
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:54,480
same page so um Adam starts spiraling

965
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:57,040
again and he's like is this just for 8

966
00:42:54,480 --> 00:43:00,240
days is it going to be more what's going

967
00:42:57,040 --> 00:43:03,200
on am I just his for Hanukkah or is this

968
00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:05,559
going to last right excellent see what I

969
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:08,359
did there I did and I liked

970
00:43:05,559 --> 00:43:10,520
it um it was low hanging fruit but I

971
00:43:08,359 --> 00:43:12,960
appreciate the

972
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:18,040
response so

973
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:20,400
um he's like he is uh what I like to

974
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:22,599
call Future tripping where he's like

975
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:25,599
well if this works out like I can give

976
00:43:22,599 --> 00:43:27,720
Tate power over my my finances if he's

977
00:43:25,599 --> 00:43:30,559
going to be my Daddy he can pay my bills

978
00:43:27,720 --> 00:43:33,200
like you know if he's going to like not

979
00:43:30,559 --> 00:43:35,480
that Tate is going to pay his bills but

980
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:37,400
literally giving him Financial power so

981
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:38,880
that he can just manage his money

982
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:42,839
because it just stresses him out really

983
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:45,240
bad and he's like pump the brakes at him

984
00:43:42,839 --> 00:43:48,800
like maybe slow down

985
00:43:45,240 --> 00:43:52,599
buddy whoa like he's like scaring

986
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:54,359
himself oh so okay hold on Adam was

987
00:43:52,599 --> 00:43:56,200
saying all that it's like an internal

988
00:43:54,359 --> 00:43:58,599
monologue yes he didn't say that out

989
00:43:56,200 --> 00:44:00,480
loud when you said pump the brakes I was

990
00:43:58,599 --> 00:44:01,680
like wait Tate told him to pump the

991
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:04,319
brakes I was like he said that out loud

992
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:06,359
to Tate oh my God and I was like I think

993
00:44:04,319 --> 00:44:09,599
I think that misinterpretation was on me

994
00:44:06,359 --> 00:44:11,240
okay so internal monologue and just like

995
00:44:09,599 --> 00:44:12,359
and yeah funny cuz it's like it's not

996
00:44:11,240 --> 00:44:14,880
like

997
00:44:12,359 --> 00:44:17,599
catastrophizing right it's like reverse

998
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:20,640
catastrophizing right he's like moderate

999
00:44:17,599 --> 00:44:26,520
your expectations babe like we just got

1000
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:28,200
here like slow down so um I uh

1001
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:30,119
I feel like you say this as well in

1002
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:32,480
sessions but I feel like all of the time

1003
00:44:30,119 --> 00:44:34,000
I'm just in session being like listen

1004
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:36,040
that is a conversation and that is a

1005
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:37,920
problem for future Chelsea and future

1006
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:39,960
Hannah but current Chelsea and current

1007
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:41,520
Hannah cannot do anything about that but

1008
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:44,440
future Chelsea would love to have that

1009
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:45,720
conversation yes yes where you're like

1010
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:48,000
and I feel like that's what Adam's doing

1011
00:44:45,720 --> 00:44:50,440
Adam's like okay this is a conversation

1012
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:53,480
for future Adam to have with future Tate

1013
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:57,119
not current Adam to have with current

1014
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:59,280
right right either one really

1015
00:44:57,119 --> 00:45:03,400
neither neither one is going to be

1016
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:07,960
helpful um and so um Tate is like

1017
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:11,079
picking up on the spiral and um gives

1018
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:12,559
Adam a spanking which was the punishment

1019
00:45:11,079 --> 00:45:17,200
from before

1020
00:45:12,559 --> 00:45:23,400
MH um and uh he also tells I'm guess

1021
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:26,520
Adam was into it well oh so he he tells

1022
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:28,680
Tate tells Adam that the punishment

1023
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:31,599
really is because he should be bringing

1024
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:32,800
his anxiety to tapate before it spirals

1025
00:45:31,599 --> 00:45:34,839
so that they can work through it

1026
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:40,319
together and so he needs to trust him to

1027
00:45:34,839 --> 00:45:43,480
do that and so um Adam is very

1028
00:45:40,319 --> 00:45:45,400
conflicted about this whole moment that

1029
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:48,559
they're having and he is sobbing his

1030
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:51,760
eyeballs out um and so Tate just

1031
00:45:48,559 --> 00:45:53,520
snuggles him for a little bit does Adam

1032
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:56,040
have a

1033
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:59,520
therapist I think it's casually

1034
00:45:56,040 --> 00:46:02,720
mentioned but he may need a new one yeah

1035
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:05,720
he may need a new one cuz it's a lot I

1036
00:46:02,720 --> 00:46:08,240
was like it makes me sad that he's like

1037
00:46:05,720 --> 00:46:11,839
going through that much you know yes

1038
00:46:08,240 --> 00:46:15,040
like I'm like this is like this anxiety

1039
00:46:11,839 --> 00:46:17,680
is 1,00% impacting his ability to like

1040
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:22,160
function in day-to-day life yes it is

1041
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:24,880
and that is like cuz we we are both

1042
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:27,040
anxious people yep and but that's like

1043
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:28,319
where I've always been on the fence with

1044
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,839
medication management because I've

1045
00:46:28,319 --> 00:46:33,559
always like no no no I have a [ __ ] ton

1046
00:46:29,839 --> 00:46:37,040
of anxiety and it

1047
00:46:33,559 --> 00:46:39,520
doesn't impact my daily functioning

1048
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:41,839
right where I'm like I've I've been able

1049
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:43,160
to manage it enough right and sure there

1050
00:46:41,839 --> 00:46:45,240
have been Seasons where I look back and

1051
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:47,240
I'm like I could have used some help

1052
00:46:45,240 --> 00:46:49,240
there yeah probably probably should have

1053
00:46:47,240 --> 00:46:50,839
considered some Med management at the

1054
00:46:49,240 --> 00:46:55,920
time

1055
00:46:50,839 --> 00:46:58,040
um just no so I think for Adam he has

1056
00:46:55,920 --> 00:47:00,040
been managing pretty well but because

1057
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:02,760
his routine is all messed up because

1058
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:05,000
he's not at work and because like all

1059
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:07,720
these other it's the holidays it's all

1060
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:09,400
like a perfect storm of stuff because it

1061
00:47:07,720 --> 00:47:12,440
sounds like he's generally very

1062
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:15,480
successful he's just also anxious but

1063
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:18,800
then you take away his routine and you

1064
00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:20,920
take away or and you add the stress of

1065
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:24,240
the holidays and feeling invisible and

1066
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:28,119
not having family and he's like he can't

1067
00:47:24,240 --> 00:47:30,000
manage it so so Tate like just snuggles

1068
00:47:28,119 --> 00:47:32,280
him and takes care of him and tells him

1069
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:34,079
like this if we're going to do this like

1070
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:35,920
you have to tell me when you're anxious

1071
00:47:34,079 --> 00:47:38,640
like that's like we have to do that

1072
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:40,559
together we have to agree on that um and

1073
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:43,200
then he tells him and this is really

1074
00:47:40,559 --> 00:47:45,880
sweet he tells him that he looked up how

1075
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:48,559
to DIY a manora because Tate's not

1076
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:51,880
Jewish so he doesn't have a manora and

1077
00:47:48,559 --> 00:47:55,000
so he DIYs he gives him several options

1078
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:57,559
so they use wine glasses and like beans

1079
00:47:55,000 --> 00:48:00,319
dry beans and rice in the wine glasses

1080
00:47:57,559 --> 00:48:02,440
and like set up birthday candles in it

1081
00:48:00,319 --> 00:48:06,359
um to light the

1082
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:09,000
candles and um Adam is it night it's

1083
00:48:06,359 --> 00:48:12,720
night one yes correct cuz it was a whole

1084
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:14,760
eight eight days okay mhm So Adam is

1085
00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:17,280
like well we don't have to like he's

1086
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:19,079
he's like hedging he's like you know

1087
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:22,359
Hanukkah actually isn't really that

1088
00:48:19,079 --> 00:48:24,319
important to me like it just has become

1089
00:48:22,359 --> 00:48:28,000
important culturally because of

1090
00:48:24,319 --> 00:48:30,119
Christmas but it's like not really um

1091
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:33,400
and uh it was never special when he was

1092
00:48:30,119 --> 00:48:35,240
growing up and then he Geeks out hard

1093
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:37,280
over the history of the holiday and goes

1094
00:48:35,240 --> 00:48:39,160
into like all the detail of how we have

1095
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:41,720
Hanukkah and why and it's not even in

1096
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:44,240
the Torah I'm guessing Tate's like so it

1097
00:48:41,720 --> 00:48:46,440
sounds like maybe Hanukkah is something

1098
00:48:44,240 --> 00:48:48,280
we're into Tate's like this is the

1099
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:51,559
cutest [ __ ] I've ever seen he's like

1100
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:55,599
this is so [ __ ] cute and so um they

1101
00:48:51,559 --> 00:48:57,000
do the whole thing and um they say Gra

1102
00:48:55,599 --> 00:49:02,520
attitudes which is part of the whole

1103
00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:07,000
deal um the Mitzvah as it were and um I

1104
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:09,480
recently found a gold dinosaur manora

1105
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:12,000
there is reference to a dinosaur manora

1106
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:14,480
later but I don't think I put it in my

1107
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:16,000
nose I wanted it then I was like we

1108
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:18,000
that's weird yeah I'm like might be

1109
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:20,000
weird well I'm like I have like extended

1110
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:21,839
family that are Messi onic at the same

1111
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:25,200
time it's still enough that I'm

1112
00:49:21,839 --> 00:49:28,240
like sure in the future if I start

1113
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:29,839
making a regular practice when like yes

1114
00:49:28,240 --> 00:49:31,000
then I could justify the the cost of

1115
00:49:29,839 --> 00:49:32,640
this

1116
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:34,960
$80

1117
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:37,520
$80 then I was like damn it who do I

1118
00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:39,000
know who needs a gold dinosaur manora

1119
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:42,200
and then I was like [ __ ] it do I just

1120
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:44,160
send it to someone and no gift note just

1121
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:46,079
being my best friend is Jewish she would

1122
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:47,359
love that and so would her sons you send

1123
00:49:46,079 --> 00:49:49,440
me the link I will send you the link

1124
00:49:47,359 --> 00:49:51,799
1,00% I was like do I just send it to

1125
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:53,760
like my cousins and not like tell them

1126
00:49:51,799 --> 00:49:57,200
it's going to show up don't tell them

1127
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:59,760
it's from you just a random um I did

1128
00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:01,480
that not with a c dinosaur manora but

1129
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:06,000
several years ago I was several drinks

1130
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:07,839
in and um was telling my cousins about

1131
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:10,280
the Claremont

1132
00:50:07,839 --> 00:50:12,359
Lounge have you seen the tie-dye shirts

1133
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:14,280
they have on their website no they say

1134
00:50:12,359 --> 00:50:15,640
like I saw your mama shaking it at the

1135
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:19,839
Claremont

1136
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:21,839
Lounge a and I was very Tipsy and

1137
00:50:19,839 --> 00:50:24,760
thought I should just buy one and mail

1138
00:50:21,839 --> 00:50:26,880
it to my cousin with there was like no

1139
00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:29,760
like

1140
00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:31,920
place to put a note or or like this is a

1141
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:34,880
gift or whatever nothing and then I

1142
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:36,240
completely forgot she textt me and

1143
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:37,599
because she lived in Chicago at the time

1144
00:50:36,240 --> 00:50:40,839
and she's like hey

1145
00:50:37,599 --> 00:50:44,520
Chelsea is this from you and I'm like oh

1146
00:50:40,839 --> 00:50:49,000
my God yes no forgot about

1147
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:51,040
it what an awesome thing to forget yes

1148
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:53,599
but like who else would send it I have

1149
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:55,119
questions you know that is the bigger

1150
00:50:53,599 --> 00:50:57,640
like if someone else sent it you

1151
00:50:55,119 --> 00:50:58,559
probably should have concerns but I'm

1152
00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:01,079
like you

1153
00:50:58,559 --> 00:51:03,240
know I I would love for that to be the

1154
00:51:01,079 --> 00:51:04,599
energy I carry throughout my life you're

1155
00:51:03,240 --> 00:51:07,040
like oh you never know what's going to

1156
00:51:04,599 --> 00:51:09,559
show up at our house chelse had a few

1157
00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:11,960
glasses of wine and got excited and she

1158
00:51:09,559 --> 00:51:14,319
like I just thought you needed this it's

1159
00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:16,599
fine and that's why everyone in the

1160
00:51:14,319 --> 00:51:19,000
future will have a gold dinosaur manora

1161
00:51:16,599 --> 00:51:21,040
so if you receive a random gold dinosaur

1162
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:23,760
manora just know it was from Chelsea

1163
00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:26,240
it's me but for real I will send it to

1164
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:30,640
you for your friend please do yes yeah

1165
00:51:26,240 --> 00:51:34,799
her kids would love that so

1166
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:36,200
um Adam is like this is really nice just

1167
00:51:34,799 --> 00:51:38,079
remember it's temporary like he's

1168
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:40,160
continuously reminding himself he is not

1169
00:51:38,079 --> 00:51:44,680
your daddy this is temporary like eight

1170
00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:46,680
days y don't get attached so Tate does

1171
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:48,839
not want to have to go to work and leave

1172
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:51,520
Adam um because he wants to spend time

1173
00:51:48,839 --> 00:51:54,640
with him so he gives him Specific

1174
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:57,119
Instructions for the day and like makes

1175
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:59,040
sure that he eats like he has him text

1176
00:51:57,119 --> 00:52:01,160
in pictures cuz he's really bad at

1177
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:03,760
eating regularly for some of us with

1178
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:08,720
anxiety that is a big

1179
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:12,160
problem so um he is just getting a lot

1180
00:52:08,720 --> 00:52:16,160
of Joy from taking care of Adam he

1181
00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:18,319
really likes it um and like making sure

1182
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:21,960
that Adam is like happy and and

1183
00:52:18,319 --> 00:52:25,760
comfortable so he he instructed they

1184
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:29,319
have not had any sexual contact really

1185
00:52:25,760 --> 00:52:32,359
at all aside from the spanking a little

1186
00:52:29,319 --> 00:52:35,440
bit of neck licking that's really it

1187
00:52:32,359 --> 00:52:37,160
like there's been no nothing else if I'm

1188
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:39,200
making weird faces it's because I have

1189
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:42,160
to sneeze and I'm trying so hard to not

1190
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:44,240
sneeze but I recognize that I keep like

1191
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:46,760
squinting up at the lights and trying to

1192
00:52:44,240 --> 00:52:49,640
stop it so if you're looking over and

1193
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:51,240
going what the [ __ ] are you okay Chelsea

1194
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:52,920
that's like you don't need to get

1195
00:52:51,240 --> 00:52:55,040
emotional like your eyes are watering

1196
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:57,839
I'm like it's okay he just has Adam wait

1197
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:59,680
for him in a submissive position at home

1198
00:52:57,839 --> 00:53:02,240
nothing bad's going to happen no need to

1199
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:03,880
cry about it nothing bad's going to

1200
00:53:02,240 --> 00:53:08,839
happen

1201
00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:13,559
um so um yes Adam is in a submissive

1202
00:53:08,839 --> 00:53:15,119
position with a blindfold on um and he

1203
00:53:13,559 --> 00:53:18,119
like goes and gets a

1204
00:53:15,119 --> 00:53:21,400
traditional uh like seasonal pastry

1205
00:53:18,119 --> 00:53:22,400
Jewish pastry um and they they do some

1206
00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:25,680
food

1207
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:28,599
play um and he's really worried

1208
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:29,599
that Adam is going to judge his body

1209
00:53:28,599 --> 00:53:32,480
because he's

1210
00:53:29,599 --> 00:53:35,359
trans there's reference to his Top

1211
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:37,480
surgery um and just you know that he

1212
00:53:35,359 --> 00:53:43,200
looks different and he's just really

1213
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:46,160
worried about that um but uh he's he

1214
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:52,680
just decides that he is going to just

1215
00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:54,799
focus on Adam's pleasure and so he uh

1216
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:58,319
there's my notes say orgasm denial

1217
00:53:54,799 --> 00:54:01,079
follows Follow by a BJ for Adam so Tate

1218
00:53:58,319 --> 00:54:05,240
gives Adam a [ __ ] got it um

1219
00:54:01,079 --> 00:54:08,480
everyone's happy and then you know Tate

1220
00:54:05,240 --> 00:54:09,920
didn't come and Adam is like weird about

1221
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:13,280
it and he's like no no you don't

1222
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:15,839
understand like I got more pleasure from

1223
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:19,160
having this with you than whatever

1224
00:54:15,839 --> 00:54:21,599
whatever so orgasming wasn't my only

1225
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:25,240
goal of this experience right orgasming

1226
00:54:21,599 --> 00:54:28,240
was not the point of this right um

1227
00:54:25,240 --> 00:54:30,680
bringing you pleasure and H experiencing

1228
00:54:28,240 --> 00:54:33,799
you was the

1229
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:36,079
point I [ __ ] love that my pets are

1230
00:54:33,799 --> 00:54:39,559
just like thank God Hannah's here they

1231
00:54:36,079 --> 00:54:41,559
are well Craig is in a half crouch on my

1232
00:54:39,559 --> 00:54:43,720
lap and I just want him to settle and be

1233
00:54:41,559 --> 00:54:46,240
comfortable oh his eyes are closing

1234
00:54:43,720 --> 00:54:49,240
he'll probably fall asleep like that

1235
00:54:46,240 --> 00:54:52,200
he's not all the way down nope okay

1236
00:54:49,240 --> 00:54:53,640
buddy whatever makes you happy no there

1237
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:55,440
are a lot of times where I look at Craig

1238
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:58,000
and I'm like this is a choice you're

1239
00:54:55,440 --> 00:55:00,280
making right you don't have to make this

1240
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:02,559
choice I do that with my cat Fred all

1241
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:04,240
the time because she'll like lay right

1242
00:55:02,559 --> 00:55:07,640
on the edge of the bed she has plenty of

1243
00:55:04,240 --> 00:55:09,880
space and then she will like do and then

1244
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:12,760
slide off the side of the bed and I'm

1245
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:15,160
like so I have pillows lined up around

1246
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:17,119
my bed so that she she has a gentle

1247
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:19,240
Landing cuz you'll look over and she's

1248
00:55:17,119 --> 00:55:22,039
like on her back with her little paws up

1249
00:55:19,240 --> 00:55:27,039
and her eyes still closed like

1250
00:55:22,039 --> 00:55:29,839
what ridiculous anyway are the best So

1251
00:55:27,039 --> 00:55:32,039
Adam uh Tate worked it out so that he

1252
00:55:29,839 --> 00:55:33,559
could work from home for like most of

1253
00:55:32,039 --> 00:55:35,960
the rest of the time that Adam's going

1254
00:55:33,559 --> 00:55:39,640
to be with him and so Adam is getting

1255
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:41,680
really bored watching Tate work and um

1256
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:43,880
he's like buzzing around trying to find

1257
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:45,520
something to do he's like his anxiety is

1258
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:48,440
starting to build because he doesn't

1259
00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:51,280
have a purpose for all the energy so

1260
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:53,319
he's like buzzing around not knowing

1261
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:56,400
what to do and then Tate finally gives

1262
00:55:53,319 --> 00:55:58,520
him instructions for lunch like get the

1263
00:55:56,400 --> 00:56:00,480
following items put them on a tray bring

1264
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:01,440
them over here like very specific stuff

1265
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:06,520
to

1266
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:09,240
do um so then question yes would it have

1267
00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:14,280
to be that specific or could he just be

1268
00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:16,680
like hey clean the bathroom so Adam

1269
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:18,720
wants it to be that specific got it it

1270
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:21,400
like helps him he doesn't even usually

1271
00:56:18,720 --> 00:56:24,319
like it when Tate gives him options he

1272
00:56:21,400 --> 00:56:26,559
literally just wants Tate to decide cuz

1273
00:56:24,319 --> 00:56:28,839
his anxiety gets so overpowering he has

1274
00:56:26,559 --> 00:56:30,359
a difficult time I recognize that that

1275
00:56:28,839 --> 00:56:34,640
is what they are into and what they are

1276
00:56:30,359 --> 00:56:34,640
both looking for in a relationship

1277
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:41,559
and I need Adam to get a new therapist

1278
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:43,799
yeah well so Tate will give him options

1279
00:56:41,559 --> 00:56:45,400
and then say or do you want me to choose

1280
00:56:43,799 --> 00:56:47,680
and then Adam will say I want you to

1281
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:49,720
choose and I love that they have like

1282
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:52,359
established that but I'm also like at

1283
00:56:49,720 --> 00:56:55,119
some level I'm like Adam like his

1284
00:56:52,359 --> 00:56:58,039
anxiety is that like it it makes me sad

1285
00:56:55,119 --> 00:57:01,039
his anxiety is that bad yes and also

1286
00:56:58,039 --> 00:57:03,200
glad that Tate recognizes it and has had

1287
00:57:01,039 --> 00:57:07,200
has like built some strategies to help

1288
00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:09,280
him yes but also yes a new therapist

1289
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:11,559
would be good yeah cuz I feel the same

1290
00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:13,599
I'm like I love that like Tate

1291
00:57:11,559 --> 00:57:17,079
understands what the situation is and is

1292
00:57:13,599 --> 00:57:19,280
helping navigate it

1293
00:57:17,079 --> 00:57:20,400
and mind you I'm feeling in a narrative

1294
00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:23,200
here right but I'm like that's a lot of

1295
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:25,240
pressure on on your partner yeah like

1296
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:27,599
even if like you're into caring for them

1297
00:57:25,240 --> 00:57:31,839
like your partner being like please make

1298
00:57:27,599 --> 00:57:35,319
all of my decisions for me because I am

1299
00:57:31,839 --> 00:57:37,319
too anxious to do anything on my own

1300
00:57:35,319 --> 00:57:39,799
right that's a lot it's a lot of

1301
00:57:37,319 --> 00:57:43,640
pressure that's a lot of pressure I like

1302
00:57:39,799 --> 00:57:46,079
I yeah and even if you're into it like I

1303
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:49,200
I very much know my husband loves taking

1304
00:57:46,079 --> 00:57:51,680
care of me and my husband is looked me

1305
00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:55,760
dead in the eye and been like I can't

1306
00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:57,680
take this for you right and you need to

1307
00:57:55,760 --> 00:58:00,520
find someone professional to talk to

1308
00:57:57,680 --> 00:58:03,200
like not in a mean way not like it is

1309
00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:05,799
because he loves me it's more it

1310
00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:08,119
is because I want to take care of you

1311
00:58:05,799 --> 00:58:09,480
that I'm going to tell you that I can't

1312
00:58:08,119 --> 00:58:12,520
yes and we're going to find you somebody

1313
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:15,000
who can absolutely and I I think that

1314
00:58:12,520 --> 00:58:18,799
you know Tate gets a lot of joy and

1315
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:20,880
fulfillment from it and you know as long

1316
00:58:18,799 --> 00:58:22,760
as everybody's cool that's great if

1317
00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:26,520
everyone's cool and everyone's happy I

1318
00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:30,039
think therapist Chelsea is like how long

1319
00:58:26,520 --> 00:58:32,760
is this sustainable yeah before like

1320
00:58:30,039 --> 00:58:36,160
resentment and those things like but

1321
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:38,440
also that is why early on Adam was like

1322
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:40,520
I recognize I'm a lot in these

1323
00:58:38,440 --> 00:58:43,920
situations and it takes a very specific

1324
00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:46,799
partner yep to be able to navigate that

1325
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:48,760
with me right to fulfill this need yes

1326
00:58:46,799 --> 00:58:50,839
okay so so Tate started giving Specific

1327
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:54,200
Instructions which Adam was very

1328
00:58:50,839 --> 00:58:56,359
grateful for yep and then Tate feeds him

1329
00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:59,240
by hand while Adam is like seated on the

1330
00:58:56,359 --> 00:59:02,520
floor next to him and then Adam gets

1331
00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:05,960
sleepy and he falls asleep on the floor

1332
00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:10,039
next to Tate and it's like a cute moment

1333
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:13,599
um so Tate wakes him up to make lot Keys

1334
00:59:10,039 --> 00:59:16,480
which you know are excellent like okay

1335
00:59:13,599 --> 00:59:18,440
this is a legit question is it Lis or

1336
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:21,520
lkas cuz I always thought it was like

1337
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:24,400
more of a like the other sound like a C

1338
00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:28,160
Sound instead of a key sound mhm but I

1339
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:31,359
don't know so I have no idea I've heard

1340
00:59:28,160 --> 00:59:34,280
it both ways okay one person told me

1341
00:59:31,359 --> 00:59:38,720
that it's more like if you

1342
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:41,839
are Eastern European oh just more like a

1343
00:59:38,720 --> 00:59:43,920
regional yeah I don't know that to be

1344
00:59:41,839 --> 00:59:45,839
true I'm just like it could have been

1345
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:47,280
full of [ __ ] you know but it could have

1346
00:59:45,839 --> 00:59:48,920
been a fact could have been something

1347
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:50,240
they made up in the moment it absolutely

1348
00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:52,720
could have fair enough and I would

1349
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:55,599
believe it anyway honestly I really

1350
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:57,760
would I'm like okay if you say anything

1351
00:59:55,599 --> 00:59:59,599
with enough confidence unless I like

1352
00:59:57,760 --> 01:00:01,280
blatantly know it's wrong there's a

1353
00:59:59,599 --> 01:00:02,920
certain level where I'm like I won't

1354
01:00:01,280 --> 01:00:04,680
question it but honestly even if you say

1355
01:00:02,920 --> 01:00:07,280
it with enough confidence even if I know

1356
01:00:04,680 --> 01:00:08,200
you're wrong I might still be like maybe

1357
01:00:07,280 --> 01:00:12,480
I'm

1358
01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:14,559
wrong right like I am susceptible to the

1359
01:00:12,480 --> 01:00:16,079
gasl light apparently because if you say

1360
01:00:14,559 --> 01:00:19,160
it with enough confidence I will

1361
01:00:16,079 --> 01:00:19,160
question myself

1362
01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:27,079
yes you know basically like okay but

1363
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:28,920
guess like implies intentional like

1364
01:00:27,079 --> 01:00:31,359
manipulation right no I don't mean

1365
01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:33,720
malice you know what I

1366
01:00:31,359 --> 01:00:35,480
mean but you're also not wrong I

1367
01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:38,280
probably am more susceptible to

1368
01:00:35,480 --> 01:00:40,760
gaslighting than I want to admit I think

1369
01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:42,400
most of us are like I don't you know

1370
01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:44,240
that's fair it's just a thing I think

1371
01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:46,480
it's something that like sounds so

1372
01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:48,079
obvious that like when you're hearing

1373
01:00:46,480 --> 01:00:49,839
stories that you're like what I would

1374
01:00:48,079 --> 01:00:51,920
never fall for that but then when you're

1375
01:00:49,839 --> 01:00:53,440
like actually in it you're like oh I

1376
01:00:51,920 --> 01:00:55,039
fell for that no I fell for that very

1377
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:56,400
like twice

1378
01:00:55,039 --> 01:00:58,280
yeah

1379
01:00:56,400 --> 01:01:00,920
yeah like

1380
01:00:58,280 --> 01:01:04,839
twice maybe three times for good

1381
01:01:00,920 --> 01:01:08,960
measure what what was that um do you

1382
01:01:04,839 --> 01:01:12,119
remember when okay this George W bush is

1383
01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:14,319
the younger one yeah uhhuh when there

1384
01:01:12,119 --> 01:01:21,280
was like an audio clip where he was like

1385
01:01:14,319 --> 01:01:24,039
fool me once sh shame on on me like fool

1386
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:25,839
me like I don't remember that I don't

1387
01:01:24,039 --> 01:01:26,799
know remember it being like that blatant

1388
01:01:25,839 --> 01:01:28,680
but just one of those where he was

1389
01:01:26,799 --> 01:01:30,680
trying to be like fool me once shame on

1390
01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:33,280
you fool me twice shame on me but like

1391
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:36,760
[ __ ] up the saying like fool me

1392
01:01:33,280 --> 01:01:39,280
twice [ __ ] who's the shame on like sh

1393
01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:41,440
everybody everybody gets shame for

1394
01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:44,359
having to witness this moment with you

1395
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:46,000
yes yes but I love that that man have

1396
01:01:44,359 --> 01:01:48,640
you seen he

1397
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:50,599
paints no oh my God George W bush does

1398
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:52,960
Pet

1399
01:01:50,599 --> 01:01:55,359
Portraits okay so we're going to have to

1400
01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:56,960
hold that for later cuzz I have a lot of

1401
01:01:55,359 --> 01:01:58,760
questions and I'm going to need to

1402
01:01:56,960 --> 01:02:00,880
Google you're like sorry Chelsea you

1403
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:02,760
can't just drop that and move on

1404
01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:04,319
casually we can't just pretend that

1405
01:02:02,760 --> 01:02:07,440
didn't happen at least I think it was

1406
01:02:04,319 --> 01:02:09,799
Pet Portraits well I'm going to find out

1407
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:11,880
might have I might it could be nature

1408
01:02:09,799 --> 01:02:14,640
escapes for all I know either way I want

1409
01:02:11,880 --> 01:02:17,880
to see it and I want to know more touche

1410
01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:20,680
yeah okay so Adam fell asleep by Tate's

1411
01:02:17,880 --> 01:02:22,680
feet yep I keep wanting I think Adam I

1412
01:02:20,680 --> 01:02:25,359
keep wanting to say

1413
01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:28,760
Tatum that makes sense

1414
01:02:25,359 --> 01:02:32,599
so anyway Tate gets every like all the

1415
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:34,160
ingredients ready and just like all Adam

1416
01:02:32,599 --> 01:02:36,559
has to do is put them

1417
01:02:34,160 --> 01:02:39,440
together um

1418
01:02:36,559 --> 01:02:41,119
so Tate

1419
01:02:39,440 --> 01:02:43,640
as

1420
01:02:41,119 --> 01:02:45,000
like Adam is starting to make these he's

1421
01:02:43,640 --> 01:02:46,599
getting a little choked up cuz like

1422
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:49,359
nobody's done anything this thoughtful

1423
01:02:46,599 --> 01:02:51,400
for him in a really long time and so

1424
01:02:49,359 --> 01:02:53,720
he's like all emotional and then Tate

1425
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:55,440
comes over and basically starts feeling

1426
01:02:53,720 --> 01:02:58,599
him up while while he's trying to make

1427
01:02:55,440 --> 01:03:01,680
these which makes it very difficult for

1428
01:02:58,599 --> 01:03:04,520
him to effectively mix the

1429
01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:06,760
ingredients um okay

1430
01:03:04,520 --> 01:03:09,119
question maybe this is just a Vance

1431
01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:11,279
thing but I had to get it like lay not

1432
01:03:09,119 --> 01:03:12,720
lay into Vance but like had to look him

1433
01:03:11,279 --> 01:03:15,200
squarely in the eye because Vance will

1434
01:03:12,720 --> 01:03:17,119
do this thing if I'm doing the dishes

1435
01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:22,000
let's say the sink is has been

1436
01:03:17,119 --> 01:03:23,599
completely full I will get 90 to 95% of

1437
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:26,000
the way through the dishes and then

1438
01:03:23,599 --> 01:03:27,920
Vance will come up and like start like

1439
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:30,480
try and like grab my boob or kiss my

1440
01:03:27,920 --> 01:03:33,319
neck and I'm like my hands are still wet

1441
01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:35,319
I've made it 90 to 95% of the way

1442
01:03:33,319 --> 01:03:39,839
through this task can I just [ __ ]

1443
01:03:35,319 --> 01:03:41,559
finish this last dish and dry my hands

1444
01:03:39,839 --> 01:03:42,960
and manance was like like I feel like

1445
01:03:41,559 --> 01:03:45,960
that's like the Perpetual conversation I

1446
01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:47,200
was like listen I drove the car all the

1447
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:49,039
way here you going to park it in the

1448
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:53,279
garage for me

1449
01:03:49,039 --> 01:03:55,000
like let me finish this

1450
01:03:53,279 --> 01:03:56,559
task

1451
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:58,680
I just want to be able to cross it off

1452
01:03:56,559 --> 01:04:01,000
my list yes I'm like I'm so [ __ ]

1453
01:03:58,680 --> 01:04:03,440
close feel the room I've been doing the

1454
01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:06,760
dishes for 30 minutes and he walked up

1455
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:09,079
in the last five let me finish see I do

1456
01:04:06,760 --> 01:04:11,240
the opposite thing to other people all

1457
01:04:09,079 --> 01:04:14,319
the time where they are almost done with

1458
01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:16,839
a task like clearly they're almost done

1459
01:04:14,319 --> 01:04:20,640
and I'm like hey do you need any

1460
01:04:16,839 --> 01:04:23,440
help it driv my dad [ __ ] bananas he's

1461
01:04:20,640 --> 01:04:26,240
like no no I don't he's like great

1462
01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:28,520
timing kid perfect I'm like thank you

1463
01:04:26,240 --> 01:04:32,000
also that is a quote about the drove the

1464
01:04:28,520 --> 01:04:33,960
car all the way here that I was once my

1465
01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:35,920
um my extended family who are Messianic

1466
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:38,000
I would go on their annual synagogue

1467
01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:39,839
Retreat when I was in Middle School and

1468
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:41,319
everyone was puzzling and my dad and

1469
01:04:39,839 --> 01:04:42,640
uncle had been working on a puzzle and

1470
01:04:41,319 --> 01:04:45,520
it was one of those like the last 10

1471
01:04:42,640 --> 01:04:47,920
pieces and someone sat down and tried to

1472
01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:48,960
help and my uncle was like no we drove

1473
01:04:47,920 --> 01:04:50,119
the car all the way here but thanks for

1474
01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:52,680
parking it in the

1475
01:04:50,119 --> 01:04:56,079
garage and the guy like got up and like

1476
01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:57,920
walked away oh faux pop like that is

1477
01:04:56,079 --> 01:05:00,480
puzz puzzle etiquette 101 puzzle

1478
01:04:57,920 --> 01:05:02,839
etiquette come on man bless it the sweet

1479
01:05:00,480 --> 01:05:04,319
so Vance and I are big puzzle people but

1480
01:05:02,839 --> 01:05:05,839
we'll start a puzzle and then I'm like

1481
01:05:04,319 --> 01:05:07,520
okay I did the edge and now I'm going to

1482
01:05:05,839 --> 01:05:09,760
go read a book and then I'll come back

1483
01:05:07,520 --> 01:05:12,319
but Vance like when he gets in the zone

1484
01:05:09,760 --> 01:05:14,559
the focus yes and he will go like fully

1485
01:05:12,319 --> 01:05:16,240
finish a puzzle and I'm like well damn

1486
01:05:14,559 --> 01:05:18,599
it I wanted to puzzle with you but I

1487
01:05:16,240 --> 01:05:20,240
didn't like need to finish the puzzle 3

1488
01:05:18,599 --> 01:05:23,319
hours after the Box

1489
01:05:20,240 --> 01:05:25,440
opened and so even when he's like I like

1490
01:05:23,319 --> 01:05:28,319
even if I sort like three pieces at the

1491
01:05:25,440 --> 01:05:30,119
start Vance always saves the last piece

1492
01:05:28,319 --> 01:05:31,319
for me to put in the puzzle oh my God

1493
01:05:30,119 --> 01:05:33,960
that's the cutest [ __ ] thing I've

1494
01:05:31,319 --> 01:05:35,279
ever heard it's really it's the sweet

1495
01:05:33,960 --> 01:05:36,920
and I was like Vance I didn't do this

1496
01:05:35,279 --> 01:05:39,760
puzzle and he's like yes you did it's

1497
01:05:36,920 --> 01:05:41,799
our thing and it's oh my God that's so

1498
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:44,160
cute isn't it oh my

1499
01:05:41,799 --> 01:05:47,160
God like it's such a small thing but

1500
01:05:44,160 --> 01:05:49,720
it's so sweet that he's always like I

1501
01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:52,920
know I just did a thousand piece puzzle

1502
01:05:49,720 --> 01:05:55,079
by myself but it's our thing it's our

1503
01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:58,359
puzzle it's

1504
01:05:55,079 --> 01:06:00,520
yeah I love that it's very sweet okay so

1505
01:05:58,359 --> 01:06:05,760
much like you're getting emotional

1506
01:06:00,520 --> 01:06:06,960
now not the puzzle a puzzle Adam um was

1507
01:06:05,760 --> 01:06:09,279
getting emotional and thought it was

1508
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:11,480
very sweet yes and as he's getting

1509
01:06:09,279 --> 01:06:15,799
emotional Tate starts feeling them up

1510
01:06:11,480 --> 01:06:20,400
yes and um so they are like going at it

1511
01:06:15,799 --> 01:06:23,799
in the kitchen and then yes and then

1512
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:26,000
Tate winds up banging him on the kitchen

1513
01:06:23,799 --> 01:06:26,000
table

1514
01:06:26,160 --> 01:06:33,559
and um after Adam finishes he feels Tate

1515
01:06:30,359 --> 01:06:35,680
start to like move in a different way

1516
01:06:33,559 --> 01:06:38,799
and he realizes that Tate is trying to

1517
01:06:35,680 --> 01:06:41,000
get off and he's like oh okay like I see

1518
01:06:38,799 --> 01:06:45,599
what's happening here I got it I got it

1519
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:49,119
so um Adam makes this like off-hand

1520
01:06:45,599 --> 01:06:52,839
comment that trans guys are the best and

1521
01:06:49,119 --> 01:06:52,839
Tate like freezes up and he's

1522
01:06:53,000 --> 01:07:00,359
like and Adam explains that um Tate was

1523
01:06:57,839 --> 01:07:03,960
like super sexy getting off with him and

1524
01:07:00,359 --> 01:07:05,799
he was really into it um and it's super

1525
01:07:03,960 --> 01:07:08,760
cool that he could have any size dick he

1526
01:07:05,799 --> 01:07:12,720
wanted that's what he said and I was

1527
01:07:08,760 --> 01:07:15,440
like okay like yeah all right what a

1528
01:07:12,720 --> 01:07:16,960
reframe okay i' never thought of it that

1529
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:19,039
way before that makes a lot of sense

1530
01:07:16,960 --> 01:07:20,480
either yeah me either and so Tate is

1531
01:07:19,039 --> 01:07:22,119
like we had that conversation about

1532
01:07:20,480 --> 01:07:24,000
boyfriend dick versus husband dick so

1533
01:07:22,119 --> 01:07:26,760
many times you can have any kind of dick

1534
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:30,000
choose your dick choose your own dick

1535
01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:33,000
your own dick adventure oh my God so

1536
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:37,880
Tate is like super relieved about the

1537
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:41,880
whole thing um and he's like oh man what

1538
01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:46,160
a yes I can't imagine that no

1539
01:07:41,880 --> 01:07:49,520
like not only having that physical

1540
01:07:46,160 --> 01:07:51,200
experience and transition mhm which you

1541
01:07:49,520 --> 01:07:54,119
are already having to live with and

1542
01:07:51,200 --> 01:07:58,119
reconcile on a daily basis right but

1543
01:07:54,119 --> 01:07:59,400
then to bring in an intimate partner

1544
01:07:58,119 --> 01:08:02,480
right and that and like when you're

1545
01:07:59,400 --> 01:08:04,720
still figuring out yourself and it's

1546
01:08:02,480 --> 01:08:07,799
like a different level of vulnerability

1547
01:08:04,720 --> 01:08:09,359
yes you know and so Tate is like kind of

1548
01:08:07,799 --> 01:08:11,359
floored by the whole thing he's like

1549
01:08:09,359 --> 01:08:14,920
what am I going to do with you and Adam

1550
01:08:11,359 --> 01:08:17,880
is like uh keep me like

1551
01:08:14,920 --> 01:08:19,440
hey and there you go Adam that's the

1552
01:08:17,880 --> 01:08:22,319
confidence we love Yeah that's what

1553
01:08:19,440 --> 01:08:26,159
we're looking for so there's lots of

1554
01:08:22,319 --> 01:08:30,560
cute moments where K is realizing that

1555
01:08:26,159 --> 01:08:34,080
um Adam wants instructions for

1556
01:08:30,560 --> 01:08:37,839
everything and has like what the king

1557
01:08:34,080 --> 01:08:40,839
community refers to as little like he's

1558
01:08:37,839 --> 01:08:44,880
not a little but he has little energy so

1559
01:08:40,839 --> 01:08:48,239
that's like got it somebody who is uh

1560
01:08:44,880 --> 01:08:51,159
like gets into a childlike headp space

1561
01:08:48,239 --> 01:08:52,960
and wants to be cared for he doesn't

1562
01:08:51,159 --> 01:08:55,839
Adam doesn't go like all the way to that

1563
01:08:52,960 --> 01:08:59,880
place but he has tantrums and he can be

1564
01:08:55,839 --> 01:09:03,640
a little bit like extra um Moody a

1565
01:08:59,880 --> 01:09:07,040
little Moody yeah um but he is also

1566
01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:10,080
thoughtful and really mature in in

1567
01:09:07,040 --> 01:09:12,839
conversations that matter um in moments

1568
01:09:10,080 --> 01:09:15,480
that are important he's he will lock on

1569
01:09:12,839 --> 01:09:18,480
to that and he is actually a really

1570
01:09:15,480 --> 01:09:21,520
mature and lovely

1571
01:09:18,480 --> 01:09:22,600
adult um and well like what I what I

1572
01:09:21,520 --> 01:09:24,279
kind of feel like I hear you saying

1573
01:09:22,600 --> 01:09:25,960
there is like yeah Adam has those

1574
01:09:24,279 --> 01:09:29,640
moments but also has enough wherewithal

1575
01:09:25,960 --> 01:09:31,960
to kind of know when you can have those

1576
01:09:29,640 --> 01:09:34,960
moments yes time and place like he's

1577
01:09:31,960 --> 01:09:37,600
able to read the time and place and meet

1578
01:09:34,960 --> 01:09:41,400
Tate's needs when like when Tate needs

1579
01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:45,080
him to be a grownup he's a grownup um

1580
01:09:41,400 --> 01:09:49,480
and so that's a big deal for Tate so he

1581
01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:51,560
decides to put a [ __ ] cage on Adam um so

1582
01:09:49,480 --> 01:09:53,960
he can't touch himself all day and that

1583
01:09:51,560 --> 01:09:56,040
becomes like their thing like Adam is

1584
01:09:53,960 --> 01:10:00,719
like always in a [ __ ] cage like all the

1585
01:09:56,040 --> 01:10:03,120
[ __ ] time um and he loves it and um

1586
01:10:00,719 --> 01:10:06,239
he makes him wear it all day while Tate

1587
01:10:03,120 --> 01:10:09,440
goes to work um which I had questions

1588
01:10:06,239 --> 01:10:12,360
about the safety of that but I don't

1589
01:10:09,440 --> 01:10:14,199
have one and I've never used one I don't

1590
01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:16,400
have a [ __ ] nor have I used a [ __ ] cage

1591
01:10:14,199 --> 01:10:18,960
is what I should say so like I don't

1592
01:10:16,400 --> 01:10:21,480
know that information cuz like with

1593
01:10:18,960 --> 01:10:23,880
nipple clamps you have to take them off

1594
01:10:21,480 --> 01:10:28,040
like you can't leave them on for a very

1595
01:10:23,880 --> 01:10:29,679
long time M um but I don't know I and

1596
01:10:28,040 --> 01:10:31,159
this could be a very naive and ignorant

1597
01:10:29,679 --> 01:10:33,400
statement and I can own that about

1598
01:10:31,159 --> 01:10:36,400
myself I imagine that it would depend on

1599
01:10:33,400 --> 01:10:37,960
the [ __ ] cage probably CU I I would

1600
01:10:36,400 --> 01:10:39,719
imagine that there are the types where

1601
01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:41,560
like if it's like more constricting like

1602
01:10:39,719 --> 01:10:43,239
a nipple clamp where like y that one has

1603
01:10:41,560 --> 01:10:45,719
a time limit versus something that's

1604
01:10:43,239 --> 01:10:48,239
like a little bit more of like cool

1605
01:10:45,719 --> 01:10:50,520
here's a little like chest that's like

1606
01:10:48,239 --> 01:10:52,360
hugging around your like treasure chest

1607
01:10:50,520 --> 01:10:55,239
is what not

1608
01:10:52,360 --> 01:10:57,679
like yes sure I got it I'm tracking but

1609
01:10:55,239 --> 01:11:00,560
something that like cool this clamps on

1610
01:10:57,679 --> 01:11:02,080
but you you have movement right and it

1611
01:11:00,560 --> 01:11:03,640
like it doesn't restrict any blood flow

1612
01:11:02,080 --> 01:11:07,520
it doesn't restrict blood flow like you

1613
01:11:03,640 --> 01:11:09,520
could still urinate if you needed to um

1614
01:11:07,520 --> 01:11:12,159
but I think my question with those is I

1615
01:11:09,520 --> 01:11:14,400
imagine what pants do you wear over your

1616
01:11:12,159 --> 01:11:17,880
cck cage right

1617
01:11:14,400 --> 01:11:21,120
sweatpants yes I mean can't be jeans I

1618
01:11:17,880 --> 01:11:22,840
would hope not oh my God ow yeah I think

1619
01:11:21,120 --> 01:11:25,640
those are the logistical things that I'm

1620
01:11:22,840 --> 01:11:30,480
wondering about yeah yeah but I'm right

1621
01:11:25,640 --> 01:11:34,440
there with you yeah yeah um so he Tate

1622
01:11:30,480 --> 01:11:37,040
tells Adam about his family um that uh

1623
01:11:34,440 --> 01:11:39,320
they're a bunch of [ __ ] and well his

1624
01:11:37,040 --> 01:11:41,440
parents anyway and they're going to dead

1625
01:11:39,320 --> 01:11:43,920
name him and make shitty remarks to his

1626
01:11:41,440 --> 01:11:45,320
brother-in-law who is Chinese American

1627
01:11:43,920 --> 01:11:47,120
and they're just generally like they

1628
01:11:45,320 --> 01:11:48,800
don't sound like the most welcoming and

1629
01:11:47,120 --> 01:11:52,920
compassionate

1630
01:11:48,800 --> 01:11:56,080
people um so even still he asks Adam to

1631
01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:57,840
come to Christ at their house with him

1632
01:11:56,080 --> 01:12:00,679
um because he just would really like to

1633
01:11:57,840 --> 01:12:04,360
have him there and so Adam is like

1634
01:12:00,679 --> 01:12:09,800
absolutely like let's do it so um Tate

1635
01:12:04,360 --> 01:12:15,880
is realizing that um he loves how like

1636
01:12:09,800 --> 01:12:19,760
um like clingy Adam is um but he's also

1637
01:12:15,880 --> 01:12:22,719
trying to like cool down his desire for

1638
01:12:19,760 --> 01:12:24,840
control because he doesn't want to like

1639
01:12:22,719 --> 01:12:27,840
run him off cuz he loves giving him

1640
01:12:24,840 --> 01:12:29,639
instructions like he he gets off on that

1641
01:12:27,840 --> 01:12:32,000
this setup works very well for both of

1642
01:12:29,639 --> 01:12:33,960
them yes but he doesn't know how well it

1643
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:35,400
works for Adam and so he's like trying

1644
01:12:33,960 --> 01:12:37,960
to pull back a little bit don't want to

1645
01:12:35,400 --> 01:12:42,000
freak him out but Adam's out here like

1646
01:12:37,960 --> 01:12:46,520
give me more yeah like I'm I'm ready um

1647
01:12:42,000 --> 01:12:47,679
and so uh Adam goes Christmas shopping

1648
01:12:46,520 --> 01:12:52,320
for Tate's

1649
01:12:47,679 --> 01:12:56,840
nieces um and my notes say they play

1650
01:12:52,320 --> 01:12:56,840
strip Dr old question Mark it's a good

1651
01:12:58,120 --> 01:13:03,920
night so yeah that's what they do they

1652
01:13:00,880 --> 01:13:05,840
they play strip drel so throughout this

1653
01:13:03,920 --> 01:13:07,800
the other like piece of this theme is

1654
01:13:05,840 --> 01:13:09,760
that Tate is going out of his way to

1655
01:13:07,800 --> 01:13:12,159
like understand the customs and

1656
01:13:09,760 --> 01:13:16,960
traditions and make sure that Adam gets

1657
01:13:12,159 --> 01:13:20,480
to engage them um as much as possible um

1658
01:13:16,960 --> 01:13:22,360
so Adam it's Christmas Day Adam is super

1659
01:13:20,480 --> 01:13:24,880
laid-back about meeting Tate's family

1660
01:13:22,360 --> 01:13:28,840
surprisingly because Tate is freaking

1661
01:13:24,880 --> 01:13:31,480
out so he's like I got this like and

1662
01:13:28,840 --> 01:13:33,520
he's also like well Tate told me what to

1663
01:13:31,480 --> 01:13:35,840
expect he told me to expect them to be

1664
01:13:33,520 --> 01:13:37,760
douchebags I can handle that like I

1665
01:13:35,840 --> 01:13:40,199
don't have to be worried I as long as I

1666
01:13:37,760 --> 01:13:42,400
know to expect them being douchebags I'm

1667
01:13:40,199 --> 01:13:45,280
I'm not great with them being douchebags

1668
01:13:42,400 --> 01:13:48,760
but I can do it right yeah um so it

1669
01:13:45,280 --> 01:13:52,040
doesn't go well right um Tate's dad

1670
01:13:48,760 --> 01:13:55,000
makes really shitty comments um to Adam

1671
01:13:52,040 --> 01:13:57,480
about him not eating the ham and about

1672
01:13:55,000 --> 01:13:59,280
him being like one of those Jews and

1673
01:13:57,480 --> 01:14:03,000
stuff like that that gets really gross

1674
01:13:59,280 --> 01:14:06,159
and awkward um not just like a little

1675
01:14:03,000 --> 01:14:09,000
like shitty General level of shitty

1676
01:14:06,159 --> 01:14:11,679
really shitty like also really shitty

1677
01:14:09,000 --> 01:14:14,239
comments about his um the brother-in-law

1678
01:14:11,679 --> 01:14:17,880
who's Chinese in front

1679
01:14:14,239 --> 01:14:20,480
of their daughters who are also half

1680
01:14:17,880 --> 01:14:22,480
Chinese like making these really like

1681
01:14:20,480 --> 01:14:24,440
[ __ ] comments about them speaking

1682
01:14:22,480 --> 01:14:27,520
Chinese because they're learning

1683
01:14:24,440 --> 01:14:29,719
Mandarin and so it's like a whole thing

1684
01:14:27,520 --> 01:14:31,800
which is a [ __ ] hard language to

1685
01:14:29,719 --> 01:14:34,400
learn yes it is and Adam also speaks

1686
01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:36,719
some Mandarin for his job and is working

1687
01:14:34,400 --> 01:14:39,600
on learning it and so he like practices

1688
01:14:36,719 --> 01:14:42,520
with the nieces which is really cute so

1689
01:14:39,600 --> 01:14:44,480
they go to um they decide they're going

1690
01:14:42,520 --> 01:14:46,960
to leave they're just like you know what

1691
01:14:44,480 --> 01:14:49,600
we're done with you people and so they

1692
01:14:46,960 --> 01:14:52,520
go back to Adam and oh well they go back

1693
01:14:49,600 --> 01:14:55,800
to Tate's house and they do it's Shabbat

1694
01:14:52,520 --> 01:14:57,560
it's Friday and so they do um Shabbat

1695
01:14:55,800 --> 01:14:59,920
they light the candles it's the whole

1696
01:14:57,560 --> 01:15:02,000
thing and it's very very sweet they play

1697
01:14:59,920 --> 01:15:03,880
games they order Chinese food which is

1698
01:15:02,000 --> 01:15:06,520
like a Jewish tradition on Christmas day

1699
01:15:03,880 --> 01:15:08,880
to like eat Chinese food for a lot of

1700
01:15:06,520 --> 01:15:14,040
families um and it's a it's just really

1701
01:15:08,880 --> 01:15:17,159
sweet and so do you remember um Rachel

1702
01:15:14,040 --> 01:15:19,080
yes um Rachel always makes me laugh

1703
01:15:17,159 --> 01:15:20,600
because she's like oh I never take off

1704
01:15:19,080 --> 01:15:24,400
at the holidays she's like just like the

1705
01:15:20,600 --> 01:15:27,920
Jew I am Jesus Christ like but in like

1706
01:15:24,400 --> 01:15:29,920
the funniest way where she's like oh no

1707
01:15:27,920 --> 01:15:32,560
I'm Jewish I'll just eat Chinese food

1708
01:15:29,920 --> 01:15:34,639
that Daya she's like oh I'll cover for

1709
01:15:32,560 --> 01:15:36,199
everyone cuz everyone's out normally

1710
01:15:34,639 --> 01:15:39,760
that week between which I'm like just

1711
01:15:36,199 --> 01:15:43,520
shut down right every just who's even

1712
01:15:39,760 --> 01:15:46,120
whatever yes 1,000% and but she's always

1713
01:15:43,520 --> 01:15:47,679
like yeah I'm Jewish I'll cover you I

1714
01:15:46,120 --> 01:15:52,040
don't

1715
01:15:47,679 --> 01:15:53,360
care bless her yeah yeah she will

1716
01:15:52,040 --> 01:15:54,639
whenever we have like a te team

1717
01:15:53,360 --> 01:15:58,120
Icebreaker questions like what's your

1718
01:15:54,639 --> 01:16:00,120
favorite holiday tradition she's like

1719
01:15:58,120 --> 01:16:02,560
I'm Jewish she's like apples and honey

1720
01:16:00,120 --> 01:16:04,840
for rashash Shana I don't know

1721
01:16:02,560 --> 01:16:08,239
like kind of

1722
01:16:04,840 --> 01:16:10,360
the like lot cuz yeah for the record I'm

1723
01:16:08,239 --> 01:16:11,960
like it's in the context of those

1724
01:16:10,360 --> 01:16:13,080
conversations like I realized I'm

1725
01:16:11,960 --> 01:16:14,639
communicating this as though she's

1726
01:16:13,080 --> 01:16:17,639
someone who's just like hey everyone

1727
01:16:14,639 --> 01:16:20,040
announcement I'm Jewish which is she

1728
01:16:17,639 --> 01:16:21,800
true she's not like that at all but it's

1729
01:16:20,040 --> 01:16:23,760
like when we're having holiday

1730
01:16:21,800 --> 01:16:26,199
conversations it just always makes me

1731
01:16:23,760 --> 01:16:27,400
laugh because she's always like yep I'm

1732
01:16:26,199 --> 01:16:31,440
just going to be eating Chinese food

1733
01:16:27,400 --> 01:16:34,960
it's fine yep so why not so the next day

1734
01:16:31,440 --> 01:16:38,800
is Saturday which is the Sabbath and so

1735
01:16:34,960 --> 01:16:40,880
they go um to the synagogue Tate agrees

1736
01:16:38,800 --> 01:16:44,239
to go and he feels really really honored

1737
01:16:40,880 --> 01:16:46,840
that like they're going and um feels

1738
01:16:44,239 --> 01:16:49,320
honored yeah t feels honored that Adam

1739
01:16:46,840 --> 01:16:52,080
asked him to go and he's like is it cool

1740
01:16:49,320 --> 01:16:55,520
for me to be here like I know

1741
01:16:52,080 --> 01:16:58,320
that perhaps some other religious groups

1742
01:16:55,520 --> 01:17:00,840
would not be super stoked about two

1743
01:16:58,320 --> 01:17:03,000
dudes showing up together one of them

1744
01:17:00,840 --> 01:17:06,080
being trans like that may not be

1745
01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:07,760
acceptable um but it actually a bumer

1746
01:17:06,080 --> 01:17:09,639
but that's also like such a valid

1747
01:17:07,760 --> 01:17:11,480
question to ask before you like go up

1748
01:17:09,639 --> 01:17:14,440
like before you show someone's religious

1749
01:17:11,480 --> 01:17:16,600
community yeah so Adam explains that in

1750
01:17:14,440 --> 01:17:19,760
Judaism there are actually like six

1751
01:17:16,600 --> 01:17:23,520
genders and trans is like for

1752
01:17:19,760 --> 01:17:25,840
most people who are active in Judaism

1753
01:17:23,520 --> 01:17:27,760
it's not a thing like they don't care

1754
01:17:25,840 --> 01:17:30,840
because it is already

1755
01:17:27,760 --> 01:17:34,880
established um in their in their

1756
01:17:30,840 --> 01:17:36,960
religion and um so it's really nice Tate

1757
01:17:34,880 --> 01:17:39,040
has a great time and is like shocked by

1758
01:17:36,960 --> 01:17:42,080
it he's like used to a standard

1759
01:17:39,040 --> 01:17:44,480
Methodist situation and if you've ever

1760
01:17:42,080 --> 01:17:46,480
been to synagogue it is not a standard

1761
01:17:44,480 --> 01:17:48,239
jewi or standard Methodist sort of thing

1762
01:17:46,480 --> 01:17:52,480
where you sing some hymns and sit down

1763
01:17:48,239 --> 01:17:57,520
and listen it's very active yes um so he

1764
01:17:52,480 --> 01:18:01,600
enjoys that uh they go back home for uh

1765
01:17:57,520 --> 01:18:03,000
sexy times and um Tate's like is this

1766
01:18:01,600 --> 01:18:06,480
okay on the

1767
01:18:03,000 --> 01:18:09,800
Sabbath it's really funny and Adam's

1768
01:18:06,480 --> 01:18:12,480
like yeah yeah it is yeah we can [ __ ] on

1769
01:18:09,800 --> 01:18:13,719
the Sabbath thanks for asking like he's

1770
01:18:12,480 --> 01:18:16,400
like well you said we're not allowed to

1771
01:18:13,719 --> 01:18:18,199
do work I'll do the work Adam's like

1772
01:18:16,400 --> 01:18:22,120
that's not what that

1773
01:18:18,199 --> 01:18:24,400
means like like we don't work on the

1774
01:18:22,120 --> 01:18:27,560
Sabbath so that we can experience life

1775
01:18:24,400 --> 01:18:29,520
and all of the joy that there is in life

1776
01:18:27,560 --> 01:18:32,159
and sex is part of that so thank you for

1777
01:18:29,520 --> 01:18:35,159
asking but also let's get naked like

1778
01:18:32,159 --> 01:18:37,159
like no like Tate for your purposes like

1779
01:18:35,159 --> 01:18:40,199
just put the fridge on Sabbath mode

1780
01:18:37,159 --> 01:18:43,480
you're good you still [ __ ] put the

1781
01:18:40,199 --> 01:18:45,000
lights on a timer let's we're done um

1782
01:18:43,480 --> 01:18:49,400
Adam doesn't practice like that anyway

1783
01:18:45,000 --> 01:18:51,360
but like you get it so um they Adam

1784
01:18:49,400 --> 01:18:54,239
decides he wants to give Tate a

1785
01:18:51,360 --> 01:18:56,760
[ __ ] which is a big deal deal MH and

1786
01:18:54,239 --> 01:19:01,400
so

1787
01:18:56,760 --> 01:19:04,080
um so is Tate open to that he is but

1788
01:19:01,400 --> 01:19:06,679
when he takes his pants off Adam safe

1789
01:19:04,080 --> 01:19:09,840
words not like full safe word they use

1790
01:19:06,679 --> 01:19:14,120
the color system so red yellow green he

1791
01:19:09,840 --> 01:19:16,560
says yellow and Tate's like [ __ ] like he

1792
01:19:14,120 --> 01:19:19,480
must be disgusted by me like he starts

1793
01:19:16,560 --> 01:19:21,520
getting really freaked out um and Adam

1794
01:19:19,480 --> 01:19:23,760
explains that he doesn't want to do it

1795
01:19:21,520 --> 01:19:27,880
wrong like just give me directions cuz I

1796
01:19:23,760 --> 01:19:30,400
want you to feel good um and so Tate

1797
01:19:27,880 --> 01:19:33,440
talks him through it

1798
01:19:30,400 --> 01:19:36,040
um and Adam is still in the cage this

1799
01:19:33,440 --> 01:19:37,440
whole time and is not allowed to come oh

1800
01:19:36,040 --> 01:19:40,239
gosh

1801
01:19:37,440 --> 01:19:41,880
um and Tate tells him that they are

1802
01:19:40,239 --> 01:19:44,840
going to the club tomorrow and he'll

1803
01:19:41,880 --> 01:19:49,000
take it off then so it has to be like

1804
01:19:44,840 --> 01:19:51,719
looser so that he doesn't get hurt um

1805
01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:54,800
but anyway so they get ready to go to

1806
01:19:51,719 --> 01:19:57,800
the club can't be a stom sleeper though

1807
01:19:54,800 --> 01:19:57,800
no

1808
01:19:59,800 --> 01:20:04,040
ah maybe you can be I don't know

1809
01:20:02,199 --> 01:20:05,639
anything about this someone please

1810
01:20:04,040 --> 01:20:07,360
educate me that may have been the most

1811
01:20:05,639 --> 01:20:09,000
ignorant joke I've ever made and I

1812
01:20:07,360 --> 01:20:10,760
apologize well I don't know I've just

1813
01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:13,639
imagining my husband is a stomach

1814
01:20:10,760 --> 01:20:19,320
sleeper and uh I don't think that would

1815
01:20:13,639 --> 01:20:21,360
go well no no yeah no okay he has a hard

1816
01:20:19,320 --> 01:20:24,199
enough time just finding a pillow that's

1817
01:20:21,360 --> 01:20:26,960
comfortable as a stomach sleeper I can't

1818
01:20:24,199 --> 01:20:29,000
imagine finding

1819
01:20:26,960 --> 01:20:32,000
a

1820
01:20:29,000 --> 01:20:33,880
okay what a specific instruction when

1821
01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:36,679
you're like look you're like we need a

1822
01:20:33,880 --> 01:20:38,679
[ __ ] cage just one that I can sleep on

1823
01:20:36,679 --> 01:20:41,760
my stomach while wearing right I'm

1824
01:20:38,679 --> 01:20:44,440
imagining like uh them using like I've

1825
01:20:41,760 --> 01:20:46,280
seen pregnant women use inner tubes to

1826
01:20:44,440 --> 01:20:48,440
like put their bellies in so they can

1827
01:20:46,280 --> 01:20:50,719
sleep on their stomachs I'm imagining

1828
01:20:48,440 --> 01:20:52,760
that but like with a hemorrhoid donut

1829
01:20:50,719 --> 01:20:56,159
honestly I should have tried that cuzz

1830
01:20:52,760 --> 01:20:59,280
I'm definitely a like side toach sleeper

1831
01:20:56,159 --> 01:21:02,400
yeah and but there's also on the flip

1832
01:20:59,280 --> 01:21:04,280
side you can't lay on your back fully

1833
01:21:02,400 --> 01:21:07,239
right like past a

1834
01:21:04,280 --> 01:21:08,320
certain uh I I forget I feel like people

1835
01:21:07,239 --> 01:21:10,400
said it at different amounts but like

1836
01:21:08,320 --> 01:21:12,639
pretty much like after your second

1837
01:21:10,400 --> 01:21:14,280
trimester starts it's not ideal to be on

1838
01:21:12,639 --> 01:21:16,360
your stomach or on your back but then

1839
01:21:14,280 --> 01:21:18,320
also not like fully on your stomach yeah

1840
01:21:16,360 --> 01:21:20,719
it was really funny when I would go to

1841
01:21:18,320 --> 01:21:22,120
yoga classes and like I've been an

1842
01:21:20,719 --> 01:21:24,159
instructor for a decade so I'm like I

1843
01:21:22,120 --> 01:21:25,199
like know like the general modifications

1844
01:21:24,159 --> 01:21:27,320
but there were definitely things where

1845
01:21:25,199 --> 01:21:29,920
I'm like okay everyone's on their

1846
01:21:27,320 --> 01:21:32,520
stomach what do I

1847
01:21:29,920 --> 01:21:33,880
do like and depending on the instructor

1848
01:21:32,520 --> 01:21:37,199
because one instructor like brought me

1849
01:21:33,880 --> 01:21:39,159
two bolsters so my stomach would be like

1850
01:21:37,199 --> 01:21:41,880
elevated yeah would be in between them

1851
01:21:39,159 --> 01:21:43,679
other instructors are like oh yeah just

1852
01:21:41,880 --> 01:21:46,800
stay on all fours instead of like going

1853
01:21:43,679 --> 01:21:49,679
fully on your stomach right um but

1854
01:21:46,800 --> 01:21:51,880
definitely things to consider yeah when

1855
01:21:49,679 --> 01:21:54,400
you are historically someone who loves

1856
01:21:51,880 --> 01:21:58,400
to sleep on your side stomach and

1857
01:21:54,400 --> 01:22:01,239
then suddenly can't yeah that would be a

1858
01:21:58,400 --> 01:22:02,800
challenge yeah I had a friend she was

1859
01:22:01,239 --> 01:22:05,760
like that's the first thing I did after

1860
01:22:02,800 --> 01:22:08,600
I had my baby I just like splatted face

1861
01:22:05,760 --> 01:22:10,520
down on my bed she's like I just needed

1862
01:22:08,600 --> 01:22:14,360
to like lay on my stomach and be like I

1863
01:22:10,520 --> 01:22:16,840
can do this again a sweet relief yeah

1864
01:22:14,360 --> 01:22:16,840
yes

1865
01:22:16,920 --> 01:22:23,159
1,000% so we don't know Adam's sleeping

1866
01:22:20,760 --> 01:22:28,679
position we do know he's still clock

1867
01:22:23,159 --> 01:22:30,440
cage so they go to the club um and Adam

1868
01:22:28,679 --> 01:22:31,920
is just trying to focus on enjoying the

1869
01:22:30,440 --> 01:22:34,360
moment because he knows it's going to be

1870
01:22:31,920 --> 01:22:35,880
over soon cuz we're coming to the end of

1871
01:22:34,360 --> 01:22:37,639
Hanukkah like this that's what's going

1872
01:22:35,880 --> 01:22:38,960
to happen Tate has given no instructions

1873
01:22:37,639 --> 01:22:42,440
that this is going to last past eight

1874
01:22:38,960 --> 01:22:43,600
days so and Adam said correct this is my

1875
01:22:42,440 --> 01:22:46,880
Hanukkah

1876
01:22:43,600 --> 01:22:49,239
experience so they get to the club and

1877
01:22:46,880 --> 01:22:53,760
Tate has organized an entire Hanukkah

1878
01:22:49,239 --> 01:22:57,400
party for Adam at the love Tate I know

1879
01:22:53,760 --> 01:22:59,800
so Tate's like yeah it turns out there's

1880
01:22:57,400 --> 01:23:02,360
a huge Jewish community that comes to

1881
01:22:59,800 --> 01:23:05,040
our club and they never felt safe enough

1882
01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:07,320
to stay anything about wanting to have a

1883
01:23:05,040 --> 01:23:09,159
party but they all loved it and we got

1884
01:23:07,320 --> 01:23:11,239
it catered and it's like it's all

1885
01:23:09,159 --> 01:23:14,560
decorated and it's just a really really

1886
01:23:11,239 --> 01:23:16,120
sweet time um so they have a wonderful

1887
01:23:14,560 --> 01:23:18,360
time with their friends and one of their

1888
01:23:16,120 --> 01:23:20,440
friends who is at the club and is Jewish

1889
01:23:18,360 --> 01:23:22,800
has a dinosaur manura that's not in my

1890
01:23:20,440 --> 01:23:24,679
notes but I remember it like it it

1891
01:23:22,800 --> 01:23:29,480
important after our previous convers but

1892
01:23:24,679 --> 01:23:33,719
now I remember it um and so um Tate

1893
01:23:29,480 --> 01:23:35,760
finally takes Adam to do a scene um he

1894
01:23:33,719 --> 01:23:37,679
like ties him up and like whips him to

1895
01:23:35,760 --> 01:23:42,360
completion he finally takes the cage off

1896
01:23:37,679 --> 01:23:44,120
it's a whole moment um so one would hope

1897
01:23:42,360 --> 01:23:46,120
it you get a full moment for that after

1898
01:23:44,120 --> 01:23:48,280
you've worn that cage for so [ __ ]

1899
01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:51,679
long 36 [ __ ]

1900
01:23:48,280 --> 01:23:56,199
hours yes you deserve a moment for that

1901
01:23:51,679 --> 01:23:58,679
you do you do and he did he got one um

1902
01:23:56,199 --> 01:24:00,520
and so they have just a great time with

1903
01:23:58,679 --> 01:24:04,080
their friends and it's just a really

1904
01:24:00,520 --> 01:24:09,320
like nice moment for all of them and so

1905
01:24:04,080 --> 01:24:13,239
then um Tate it's the next day it's the

1906
01:24:09,320 --> 01:24:17,239
day before the last day of Hanukkah um

1907
01:24:13,239 --> 01:24:20,639
day seven yes so it well so it's weird

1908
01:24:17,239 --> 01:24:23,199
because in the Jewish culture it's

1909
01:24:20,639 --> 01:24:26,920
measured by kns

1910
01:24:23,199 --> 01:24:30,239
um so Adam doesn't know if Tate meant

1911
01:24:26,920 --> 01:24:35,480
nights or if he meant the days and so

1912
01:24:30,239 --> 01:24:38,400
he's like uh should I leave like cuz he

1913
01:24:35,480 --> 01:24:40,080
like made a whole dinner for Tate Tate's

1914
01:24:38,400 --> 01:24:42,080
freaking out because he's late getting

1915
01:24:40,080 --> 01:24:45,440
home he was like making some stops for

1916
01:24:42,080 --> 01:24:47,360
things for Adam mhm and so he stopped at

1917
01:24:45,440 --> 01:24:50,360
a jewelry store to pick up a gift for

1918
01:24:47,360 --> 01:24:52,360
him um and Adam has stopped responding

1919
01:24:50,360 --> 01:24:55,080
to his texts and he's like [ __ ] [ __ ]

1920
01:24:52,360 --> 01:24:57,880
[ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] this is not good so he's

1921
01:24:55,080 --> 01:25:01,360
like racing home and there is a huge

1922
01:24:57,880 --> 01:25:04,639
mess in the kitchen like huge mess um

1923
01:25:01,360 --> 01:25:07,800
and he finds Adam like curled up in the

1924
01:25:04,639 --> 01:25:11,880
bed in the bedroom um and Adam is like

1925
01:25:07,800 --> 01:25:15,199
refusing to speak to him and so Tate

1926
01:25:11,880 --> 01:25:18,239
puts Adam in the corner for punishment

1927
01:25:15,199 --> 01:25:20,520
so I didn't get into it but they came up

1928
01:25:18,239 --> 01:25:23,400
with their like list of acceptable

1929
01:25:20,520 --> 01:25:26,480
punishments um and what the punishments

1930
01:25:23,400 --> 01:25:32,320
would be for got it previously so that

1931
01:25:26,480 --> 01:25:35,880
was one of them so um after Adam has a

1932
01:25:32,320 --> 01:25:38,760
full whole entire meltdown um about you

1933
01:25:35,880 --> 01:25:41,000
know the last week the whole last week

1934
01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:43,639
is has been fake he's like please stop

1935
01:25:41,000 --> 01:25:46,159
taking care of me none of this was real

1936
01:25:43,639 --> 01:25:48,480
like I need you to stop like I really

1937
01:25:46,159 --> 01:25:50,239
need you to stop um cuz he's really

1938
01:25:48,480 --> 01:25:52,080
trying to distance himself at this point

1939
01:25:50,239 --> 01:25:54,080
he was trying to lean into like this is

1940
01:25:52,080 --> 01:25:57,080
our last night like let's make it really

1941
01:25:54,080 --> 01:25:59,239
special and then Tate got late he got in

1942
01:25:57,080 --> 01:26:00,719
his head and it became a whole thing he

1943
01:25:59,239 --> 01:26:02,800
didn't mean to make a mess in the

1944
01:26:00,719 --> 01:26:05,440
kitchen for the record he burned his

1945
01:26:02,800 --> 01:26:09,239
hand when he was trying to like get the

1946
01:26:05,440 --> 01:26:11,880
food to stay warm since Tate was late

1947
01:26:09,239 --> 01:26:16,239
and dropped it and then was like [ __ ] it

1948
01:26:11,880 --> 01:26:18,840
like [ __ ] all of this so Adam's having a

1949
01:26:16,239 --> 01:26:20,840
meltdown I've been there not that exact

1950
01:26:18,840 --> 01:26:23,080
situation cuz that's a very specific

1951
01:26:20,840 --> 01:26:24,760
situation specific but like you're

1952
01:26:23,080 --> 01:26:26,679
you're like you're feeling super anxious

1953
01:26:24,760 --> 01:26:28,159
you're trying and you're like cool take

1954
01:26:26,679 --> 01:26:29,960
some deep breaths we just got to get

1955
01:26:28,159 --> 01:26:32,320
through this like okay we'll make the

1956
01:26:29,960 --> 01:26:36,480
most of it and then like one more thing

1957
01:26:32,320 --> 01:26:39,320
and you're like [ __ ] all of this I I can

1958
01:26:36,480 --> 01:26:42,080
no longer yep like it's like okay you

1959
01:26:39,320 --> 01:26:45,080
know what I have reached the maximum of

1960
01:26:42,080 --> 01:26:48,159
my distress tolerance capabilities but I

1961
01:26:45,080 --> 01:26:50,320
I can do it I've got it I can handle it

1962
01:26:48,159 --> 01:26:53,760
and then one more thing happens and it's

1963
01:26:50,320 --> 01:26:56,239
like that was literally all I had so I'm

1964
01:26:53,760 --> 01:26:57,480
not going to give anything [ __ ] you and

1965
01:26:56,239 --> 01:26:59,159
good night yeah so I'm going to go sit

1966
01:26:57,480 --> 01:27:01,920
in a dark room by myself yes I'm going

1967
01:26:59,159 --> 01:27:04,960
to lay down on the ground and once I can

1968
01:27:01,920 --> 01:27:07,560
re-regulate we can try again but until I

1969
01:27:04,960 --> 01:27:10,480
re-regulate there's no point in trying

1970
01:27:07,560 --> 01:27:12,679
[ __ ] right now it will not go how anyone

1971
01:27:10,480 --> 01:27:15,840
wants it to go nope I will make this

1972
01:27:12,679 --> 01:27:19,639
worse yes in fantastic

1973
01:27:15,840 --> 01:27:21,280
fashion like I don't mean to brag but

1974
01:27:19,639 --> 01:27:24,080
it's gonna be real bad you're like

1975
01:27:21,280 --> 01:27:28,040
that's not a threat that's a promise

1976
01:27:24,080 --> 01:27:29,560
baby I will ruin this [ __ ] yes that is

1977
01:27:28,040 --> 01:27:32,199
me

1978
01:27:29,560 --> 01:27:38,199
1,000% yes that's

1979
01:27:32,199 --> 01:27:40,440
correct oh my God okay so um Tate starts

1980
01:27:38,199 --> 01:27:43,000
to cry because Adam is like I can't do

1981
01:27:40,440 --> 01:27:45,480
one more night like I I can't I can't

1982
01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:48,119
pretend for one more night and Tate is

1983
01:27:45,480 --> 01:27:51,000
thinking that Adam has can't prend to be

1984
01:27:48,119 --> 01:27:52,760
into this for one more night so Tate

1985
01:27:51,000 --> 01:27:57,920
starts to cry

1986
01:27:52,760 --> 01:28:00,480
um justifiably so yep and he is like in

1987
01:27:57,920 --> 01:28:02,080
his head he's like I have to pull it

1988
01:28:00,480 --> 01:28:03,840
together to take care of Adam like if

1989
01:28:02,080 --> 01:28:08,360
this is what he wants if he wants this

1990
01:28:03,840 --> 01:28:10,199
to be over that's okay right um cuz the

1991
01:28:08,360 --> 01:28:11,840
whole point is for me to take care of

1992
01:28:10,199 --> 01:28:13,960
him and give him what he needs so if

1993
01:28:11,840 --> 01:28:17,840
what he needs is for this to be over

1994
01:28:13,960 --> 01:28:20,880
then like okay so he's trying to pull it

1995
01:28:17,840 --> 01:28:23,520
together but then he finally realizes

1996
01:28:20,880 --> 01:28:26,080
that Adam this whole time has just been

1997
01:28:23,520 --> 01:28:29,600
thinking that it was a fling because

1998
01:28:26,080 --> 01:28:32,719
Tate set expectations early so that Adam

1999
01:28:29,600 --> 01:28:36,199
would know the plan right um but then he

2000
01:28:32,719 --> 01:28:40,639
never reset them or communicated that he

2001
01:28:36,199 --> 01:28:42,600
wanted something different and so um

2002
01:28:40,639 --> 01:28:45,320
which God bless I love this because like

2003
01:28:42,600 --> 01:28:46,600
literally 30 seconds ago I'm like man

2004
01:28:45,320 --> 01:28:48,520
all of this could have been avoided with

2005
01:28:46,600 --> 01:28:51,280
some simple communication but they've

2006
01:28:48,520 --> 01:28:53,360
been communicating well yes like it's

2007
01:28:51,280 --> 01:28:55,960
more of like oh you know now that I

2008
01:28:53,360 --> 01:28:57,760
pause I realized an important one one

2009
01:28:55,960 --> 01:29:00,520
important combo was missed yeah one

2010
01:28:57,760 --> 01:29:04,199
important detail yeah and so that's kind

2011
01:29:00,520 --> 01:29:07,760
of the whole thing is that like Tate was

2012
01:29:04,199 --> 01:29:09,679
assuming that Adam knew how he felt

2013
01:29:07,760 --> 01:29:11,800
about him because he was doing

2014
01:29:09,679 --> 01:29:14,840
everything he could to show him and he's

2015
01:29:11,800 --> 01:29:16,520
realizing that because you know there's

2016
01:29:14,840 --> 01:29:18,880
stuff in there about Adam's past

2017
01:29:16,520 --> 01:29:20,920
relationships telling him he's too much

2018
01:29:18,880 --> 01:29:22,679
telling him he's too clingy telling him

2019
01:29:20,920 --> 01:29:24,679
like all this other stuff

2020
01:29:22,679 --> 01:29:27,400
that like he wouldn't have been able to

2021
01:29:24,679 --> 01:29:32,840
read the behavior like he needed the

2022
01:29:27,400 --> 01:29:36,679
words yes and so um he

2023
01:29:32,840 --> 01:29:38,239
uh he has Adam open his last Hanukkah

2024
01:29:36,679 --> 01:29:41,280
gift that he picked up from the jewelry

2025
01:29:38,239 --> 01:29:43,520
store Adam's like I don't want a present

2026
01:29:41,280 --> 01:29:46,600
and Tate's like open the [ __ ] bag

2027
01:29:43,520 --> 01:29:52,199
like open it just open it just open it

2028
01:29:46,600 --> 01:29:56,239
it'll click and so um it is a um so in

2029
01:29:52,199 --> 01:29:58,880
the Kink Community when a sub has been

2030
01:29:56,239 --> 01:30:02,000
like claimed essentially by a Dom often

2031
01:29:58,880 --> 01:30:04,360
times they will wear a lock right some

2032
01:30:02,000 --> 01:30:07,480
kind of necklace that has a lock on it

2033
01:30:04,360 --> 01:30:08,679
that can't be removed um to show like

2034
01:30:07,480 --> 01:30:11,840
ownership

2035
01:30:08,679 --> 01:30:16,239
essentially and so it's a lock with a

2036
01:30:11,840 --> 01:30:18,600
pendant that says Little Star on it um

2037
01:30:16,239 --> 01:30:22,760
and uh well it says Tate's Little Star

2038
01:30:18,600 --> 01:30:26,400
on it and so Adam's like what

2039
01:30:22,760 --> 01:30:29,280
what for real and Adam's like yeah dummy

2040
01:30:26,400 --> 01:30:31,800
like I kind of like care about you a lot

2041
01:30:29,280 --> 01:30:34,520
duh and so

2042
01:30:31,800 --> 01:30:37,280
um they agree to be in a relationship

2043
01:30:34,520 --> 01:30:39,119
for real and they're going to go for it

2044
01:30:37,280 --> 01:30:41,080
Adam is excited to get reconnected to

2045
01:30:39,119 --> 01:30:43,400
the Kink Community since he's been

2046
01:30:41,080 --> 01:30:45,920
pulling away and they're like yeah we're

2047
01:30:43,400 --> 01:30:47,880
going to do this for Reales and that's

2048
01:30:45,920 --> 01:30:51,159
the

2049
01:30:47,880 --> 01:30:55,280
end what a sweet little story I know

2050
01:30:51,159 --> 01:30:57,239
it's a very sweet little story but I I

2051
01:30:55,280 --> 01:30:58,119
just thought about so I read another

2052
01:30:57,239 --> 01:31:00,719
book

2053
01:30:58,119 --> 01:31:02,840
recently where this guy is trying to

2054
01:31:00,719 --> 01:31:06,000
propose to this girl and the ring is in

2055
01:31:02,840 --> 01:31:08,400
a cup of coffee and she is really that

2056
01:31:06,000 --> 01:31:12,040
CU that's their thing like they have a

2057
01:31:08,400 --> 01:31:14,040
saying and so she is mad at him about

2058
01:31:12,040 --> 01:31:16,760
something and he's like baby just drink

2059
01:31:14,040 --> 01:31:20,320
your coffee and she's like I need the

2060
01:31:16,760 --> 01:31:24,320
words man what are we doing here and

2061
01:31:20,320 --> 01:31:26,719
he's like baby drink the coffee and

2062
01:31:24,320 --> 01:31:30,239
eventually she just flings the coffee

2063
01:31:26,719 --> 01:31:32,719
like out into the yard and her grandma

2064
01:31:30,239 --> 01:31:34,280
and like her family are standing right

2065
01:31:32,719 --> 01:31:37,480
there and they're like oh [ __ ] did

2066
01:31:34,280 --> 01:31:40,119
anybody see where it went and the guy is

2067
01:31:37,480 --> 01:31:43,000
like cracking up he's like laughing

2068
01:31:40,119 --> 01:31:45,600
really hard she's like did I just throw

2069
01:31:43,000 --> 01:31:48,239
my my engagement ring into the yard and

2070
01:31:45,600 --> 01:31:51,000
he went yeah yeah yeah you did you sure

2071
01:31:48,239 --> 01:31:52,880
did and that that's the energy is he's

2072
01:31:51,000 --> 01:31:55,840
like just open it and he's like I don't

2073
01:31:52,880 --> 01:31:57,880
want to open it and he's like [ __ ]

2074
01:31:55,840 --> 01:31:59,440
please just finish the coffee just

2075
01:31:57,880 --> 01:32:03,960
[ __ ] open

2076
01:31:59,440 --> 01:32:06,400
it but it is a very sweet story again

2077
01:32:03,960 --> 01:32:10,080
like there's a certain amount of of

2078
01:32:06,400 --> 01:32:12,199
authenticity to it because it's obvious

2079
01:32:10,080 --> 01:32:14,600
this author understand understands the

2080
01:32:12,199 --> 01:32:18,159
queer community and understands the Kink

2081
01:32:14,600 --> 01:32:20,920
community and apparently Judaism as well

2082
01:32:18,159 --> 01:32:23,960
because it's all very accurate um but

2083
01:32:20,920 --> 01:32:26,960
it's a nice read there's very little

2084
01:32:23,960 --> 01:32:29,840
angst there's very little like there's

2085
01:32:26,960 --> 01:32:32,159
no major plot really of like horrible

2086
01:32:29,840 --> 01:32:35,159
things happening or any it's just a very

2087
01:32:32,159 --> 01:32:38,000
nice two people coming together and

2088
01:32:35,159 --> 01:32:40,480
figuring it out so what's our rating

2089
01:32:38,000 --> 01:32:42,840
system dinosaur

2090
01:32:40,480 --> 01:32:47,560
Manas regular

2091
01:32:42,840 --> 01:32:49,880
Manas lot Keys is it eight Manas that

2092
01:32:47,560 --> 01:32:52,239
were or eight

2093
01:32:49,880 --> 01:32:54,199
candles um yeah maybe we just go with

2094
01:32:52,239 --> 01:32:56,040
candles let's do candles out of out of

2095
01:32:54,199 --> 01:32:58,880
eight candles out of eight candles

2096
01:32:56,040 --> 01:33:02,560
placed in a dinosaur

2097
01:32:58,880 --> 01:33:02,560
manora um I'm going to

2098
01:33:03,080 --> 01:33:10,080
go I think I'm going to go with six yeah

2099
01:33:06,560 --> 01:33:13,520
like I would read it again um and it was

2100
01:33:10,080 --> 01:33:16,880
one that was yeah it was nice it was a

2101
01:33:13,520 --> 01:33:19,440
very uh Pleasant departure from the

2102
01:33:16,880 --> 01:33:22,199
usual Kink and queer romance that I have

2103
01:33:19,440 --> 01:33:25,639
read cuz it wasn't it also wasn't all

2104
01:33:22,199 --> 01:33:28,560
about like overcoming the adversity of

2105
01:33:25,639 --> 01:33:32,520
being queer it was just a relationship

2106
01:33:28,560 --> 01:33:35,119
cool we happen to be queer Y and this is

2107
01:33:32,520 --> 01:33:37,320
our love story exactly versus like the

2108
01:33:35,119 --> 01:33:40,520
focus of our love story is that we're

2109
01:33:37,320 --> 01:33:42,239
queer right exactly so yeah I would say

2110
01:33:40,520 --> 01:33:44,520
six out of eight pretty

2111
01:33:42,239 --> 01:33:47,960
comfortably yeah I didn't read it but I

2112
01:33:44,520 --> 01:33:50,639
feel I really loved them they were like

2113
01:33:47,960 --> 01:33:52,880
well I know I said it before do I want

2114
01:33:50,639 --> 01:33:54,960
Adam to find

2115
01:33:52,880 --> 01:33:57,880
a new therapist and maybe um a new

2116
01:33:54,960 --> 01:34:01,080
medication regimen sure at some level

2117
01:33:57,880 --> 01:34:04,159
yes and I thought the way in which they

2118
01:34:01,080 --> 01:34:06,119
engaged the whole time was like so sweet

2119
01:34:04,159 --> 01:34:09,400
and endearing

2120
01:34:06,119 --> 01:34:12,960
and like what you want to see out of a

2121
01:34:09,400 --> 01:34:15,880
healthy relationship yes cuz do you ever

2122
01:34:12,960 --> 01:34:18,960
read yes you read [ __ ] a thousand

2123
01:34:15,880 --> 01:34:21,920
books more than I do um but you know

2124
01:34:18,960 --> 01:34:24,560
like when you're reading a like a

2125
01:34:21,920 --> 01:34:26,560
there's conflict there's a legit

2126
01:34:24,560 --> 01:34:29,520
disagreement fight happening that you're

2127
01:34:26,560 --> 01:34:32,280
like this hasn't been worked through y

2128
01:34:29,520 --> 01:34:33,840
but they're like the tension and buildup

2129
01:34:32,280 --> 01:34:36,360
of a fight and now we're going to [ __ ]

2130
01:34:33,840 --> 01:34:39,280
and you're like where's the resolution

2131
01:34:36,360 --> 01:34:42,800
oh I'm sorry I I

2132
01:34:39,280 --> 01:34:44,880
can't like get there with y'all suddenly

2133
01:34:42,800 --> 01:34:47,639
being intimate with how that conflict

2134
01:34:44,880 --> 01:34:49,679
just went down right especially if they

2135
01:34:47,639 --> 01:34:52,400
don't resolve it after like if there's

2136
01:34:49,679 --> 01:34:54,119
resolution after I'm like oh okay still

2137
01:34:52,400 --> 01:34:56,159
not my favorite but I will if we come

2138
01:34:54,119 --> 01:34:58,920
back around like I can get behind it a

2139
01:34:56,159 --> 01:35:01,800
little bit more because it's

2140
01:34:58,920 --> 01:35:04,639
like what uh like this we're just going

2141
01:35:01,800 --> 01:35:06,960
to have this fight again yes right so

2142
01:35:04,639 --> 01:35:09,560
like what have we accomplished nothing

2143
01:35:06,960 --> 01:35:10,920
yeah when they're like well in this

2144
01:35:09,560 --> 01:35:12,920
fight we both just realized how

2145
01:35:10,920 --> 01:35:15,679
passionate we are and then we started

2146
01:35:12,920 --> 01:35:17,760
making out and you're like no doesn't

2147
01:35:15,679 --> 01:35:20,480
solve the issue yeah so I I really

2148
01:35:17,760 --> 01:35:23,719
appreciate that like their approach the

2149
01:35:20,480 --> 01:35:26,600
whole book was seemingly like hey like

2150
01:35:23,719 --> 01:35:29,880
let's solve the issue mhm and we'll go

2151
01:35:26,600 --> 01:35:32,159
from there together exactly and that is

2152
01:35:29,880 --> 01:35:34,719
just like refreshing as a whole very

2153
01:35:32,159 --> 01:35:39,040
refreshing I haven't read anything else

2154
01:35:34,719 --> 01:35:41,119
by this author but I am going to yeah um

2155
01:35:39,040 --> 01:35:43,360
I've been reading a lot of very trashy

2156
01:35:41,119 --> 01:35:46,119
motorcycle club you've been on your

2157
01:35:43,360 --> 01:35:48,960
motorcycle club for a minute for a

2158
01:35:46,119 --> 01:35:51,520
minute like it it's like a JS Scott

2159
01:35:48,960 --> 01:35:55,920
moment there's so much of it I'm just

2160
01:35:51,520 --> 01:35:58,040
like plowing through it when that's done

2161
01:35:55,920 --> 01:36:00,239
I will likely read more of Rees Morrison

2162
01:35:58,040 --> 01:36:02,639
cuz I did really like it fair enough

2163
01:36:00,239 --> 01:36:05,719
well everyone let us

2164
01:36:02,639 --> 01:36:07,360
know what how many candles you would

2165
01:36:05,719 --> 01:36:09,440
like this how many nights of Hanukkah

2166
01:36:07,360 --> 01:36:12,600
are we making it through in your review

2167
01:36:09,440 --> 01:36:16,560
um thanks for joining us don't forget to

2168
01:36:12,600 --> 01:36:19,280
like And subscribe if you don't like us

2169
01:36:16,560 --> 01:36:21,400
don't do those things but you probably

2170
01:36:19,280 --> 01:36:25,400
wouldn't make it this far in the episode

2171
01:36:21,400 --> 01:36:28,440
if you hate us that much um if you did

2172
01:36:25,400 --> 01:36:29,880
okay that's also okay yeah we aren't for

2173
01:36:28,440 --> 01:36:31,760
there do you know how many podcasts

2174
01:36:29,880 --> 01:36:34,520
there are do you know how many podcasts

2175
01:36:31,760 --> 01:36:36,840
I don't listen to most of them most of

2176
01:36:34,520 --> 01:36:38,960
them and that's okay find your tribe

2177
01:36:36,840 --> 01:36:41,880
people yeah we love it if we're your

2178
01:36:38,960 --> 01:36:43,719
tribe but if we're not we want you to

2179
01:36:41,880 --> 01:36:47,119
find the people that feel authentic to

2180
01:36:43,719 --> 01:36:49,119
you absolutely if you have any

2181
01:36:47,119 --> 01:36:51,760
suggestions for things you would like us

2182
01:36:49,119 --> 01:36:53,080
to review feel free to drop them in the

2183
01:36:51,760 --> 01:36:57,280
comments and

2184
01:36:53,080 --> 01:37:00,040
reviews um or shoot us a message on

2185
01:36:57,280 --> 01:37:03,000
Instagram or Facebook but other than

2186
01:37:00,040 --> 01:37:05,119
that thanks guys and happy holidays yeah

2187
01:37:03,000 --> 01:37:08,080
happy holidays we'll see you next

2188
01:37:05,119 --> 01:37:11,400
time well that's it for this week's mut

2189
01:37:08,080 --> 01:37:14,520
[ __ ] we hope it was good for you cuz it

2190
01:37:11,400 --> 01:37:16,880
sure was great for us if you're digging

2191
01:37:14,520 --> 01:37:18,600
what we're doing it would mean a lot if

2192
01:37:16,880 --> 01:37:20,719
you'd take a minute to rate and review

2193
01:37:18,600 --> 01:37:21,920
the show wherever you're listening right

2194
01:37:20,719 --> 01:37:24,480
now

2195
01:37:21,920 --> 01:37:29,320
maybe tell that sexy someone to lend us

2196
01:37:24,480 --> 01:37:33,960
an ear we love you we appreciate you and

2197
01:37:29,320 --> 01:37:33,960
we'll see you next week stay

2198
01:37:34,190 --> 01:37:41,719
[Music]

2199
01:37:38,719 --> 01:37:41,719
smudy