How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships

Seth and Pete are joined this week by divorce coach Cherie Morris to talk about de-escalating conflict. What part of the divorce process is most ripe for conflict? How do you learn to let go of control and accept things as they are? And how do you figure out if your’e the one causing high conflict?

Show Notes

De-Escalating Conflict

By its very nature, divorce is ripe with conflict. It starts because of conflict, it’s full of conflict all the way through, and often – particularly in cases with children involved – there is still conflict on the other side. Is there an easier way to deal with it? How do you learn the fine art of control in this minefield of conflict?

Joining us on the Toaster today is divorce coach and parent coordinator Cherie Morris. She’s behind DearDivorceCoach.com helping couples actively going through divorce learn to recognize signs of conflict so they can help de-escalate the situation and more easily resolve their problems. It’s a task for sure, but she’s game. And clearly, she knows her stuff.

The conversation starts with looking at areas that are most ripe for conflict – stuff and children. No surprise really. From there, we talk about the challenges of needing control and how to instead survive by being nice, looking at your needs as requests instead of demands, and setting your expectations low.

We look at dealing with the ex who’s a boat anchor and the need to pick your battles. And a big part is learning to free yourself from the need for context.

The big question is who’s bringing the high conflict to the divorce and relationship. How do you know if it’s you? And if it is you, what can you do about it?

It’s a fun and informative conversation with Cherie, so tune in and get ready to de-escalate.

Links & Notes

  • (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
  • (00:27) - Meet Cherie Morris
  • (01:18) - Biggest Triggers
  • (03:59) - Counseling Both Sides
  • (06:08) - Power Dynamics & Agreements
  • (09:56) - Tools for Life
  • (11:24) - BIFF Method
  • (13:59) - Learning to Communicate
  • (17:32) - The Boat Anchor
  • (19:58) - Picking Your Battles
  • (21:57) - Freeing Yourself From the Need for Context
  • (25:35) - Child-Centric
  • (28:32) - Are You High Conflict?
  • (31:00) - When Not to Counsel
  • (33:08) - Wrapping Up

Creators & Guests

Host
Pete Wright
Podcaster and co-host, Pete Wright brings years of marriage and a spirit of curiosity to the divorce process. He's spent the last two decades interviewing experts and thinkers in emotional healing and brings that with him to the law, divorce, and saving relationships in the process.
Host
Seth R. Nelson
Seth Nelson is the founding attorney and managing partner at NLG Divorce & Family Law. He is a Tampa-based family lawyer known for devising creative solutions to difficult problems.
Producer
Andy Nelson
Hailing from nearly 25 years in the world of film, television, and commercial production, Andy has always had a passion for storytelling, no matter the size of the package.

What is How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships?

Seth Nelson is a Tampa based family lawyer known for devising creative solutions to difficult problems. In How to Split a Toaster, Nelson and co-host Pete Wright take on the challenge of divorce with a central objective — saving your most important relationships with your family, your former spouse, and yourself.