Hi, yeah, now I get to be the only Elza in the room again.
Cloyce is having a really bad phone call.
I told you not to bring the Ark on my ship!
Who wants to play some Wrath in Glory?
Yay!
Yeah!
Sponsored by your local Quaggins.
Easy episode.
Habipoff.
Welcome, everybody, to another exciting episode of Wrath in Glory.
I am your host for this evening.
I am Zoran the Wizard.
I am playing Roos the Oglin Warrior.
And, of course, I am joined by amazing players such as Hulky Crow.
That is me!
I am Hulky Crow.
I am the evil man in your walls and your brain stems.
And, as always, I will be playing the...
I almost dropped into my rock rhyme thing.
I'm not playing that rock rhyme character today, but it would be funny.
I am playing the Lex Mechanic Aloysus.
And we got Odo.
Hi, hello, it's me.
I'm Odo.
I am also not playing my rock rhyme character today, but tomorrow.
I am bringing you today...
But you won't see that because it's a test session.
Yeah, it's a test session.
Yeah, that's fine.
It's for us only.
It's just a test session.
I'm sorry, chat.
You're not invited.
We're going to run this session out of a Quaggins.
So true.
We're all meeting at our local Quaggins.
I'm playing Karana, the Elder Corset Tiger.
And then we got Speaker D.
Hey, I'm Speaker D.
I'm also not playing my rock rhyme character today.
Instead, I will be playing Captain Olden Rush, Rogue Traitor, and New Drunket.
You're echoey for a reason.
You can get your mic on the right way this time.
I think...
I think you just went away from it.
I put it away a little bit because I noticed that my guy was yipping out.
He was literally kicking out.
Yeah, just go on Discord and change your voice activation thing.
But of course...
Oh, yeah!
I lowered it.
Of course, the one that always helps us with tech support.
The mystical scroll himself, our left-hand game master, Thurston Hillman.
Have you ever thought how hard it is to set up a printer and how easy it is to set up a 3D printer?
Doesn't that fucking bother you?
Yeah.
Like, if you think about it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's way fucking harder on the other one for some reason, you know?
I can fucking print, like, miniatures.
Like, fucking Trench Crusade.
Bam!
It's out there.
I want to put something on a sheet of fucking paper.
Good luck.
Hi.
Also, Ralph McSiddle said, a.k.a. John Paizo.
It was like, I thought you said John Starfinder for a moment.
I read that.
No, I'm Ted Paizo.
My boss is John.
You are no longer John Starfinder anymore because Jenny got the new position over there.
That's right.
Congratulations.
So, everyone in chat could clap for Jenny.
I know.
It's like, Thurston still works at a company, and I used to work there, but I still, like, I love everyone there.
So, you know, yay, yippee!
Yay, yay, yay for Jenny!
That's Jenny!
Yay!
You know, that's a big thing for her.
I know.
She's loved Starfinder.
I've worked on that for so long.
So, that's really good.
So, now I'm Ted Paizo.
Yeah.
So, if anything goes wrong, Starfinder 2nd Edition.
You know where to send your hate mail now, so.
But with that, remember, if you really like these shows that we do, you like everything that we do here, you can always tell people that we exist.
Say, like, hey, they live stream these shows when they can't.
We put a public schedule on their Discord.
But people are like, oh, man, what are they going to do this live, man?
Like, oh, I just can never figure that out.
Well, we put it up on the schedule, like, all the time.
I think we're working on a website to where you can, it'll sync up with our Google Calendar as well, where you can just go to the website and see.
But once that's up, we'll tell you.
But for the most part, you can go to our Discord at discord.gg4 slash narrative declaration.
Go to our schedule section, and bam, it's right there.
And it gets you all figured out and stuff like that.
But, of course, we also release these biweekly to the public.
And you can tell people that, hey, like, we do these types of shows.
We play Warhammer, Pathfinder 2nd Edition, all sorts of things.
We love playing games with all you guys and love seeing you here.
So thank you so much for coming up.
And, of course, if you want to support these shows at patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration, all your stuff.
It helps support everybody here because I try my best to compensate everybody for their time and everything of being amazing actors, players, and all this other stuff.
So your support helps everybody here.
So thank you very much for those who do help there.
And, of course, everybody who subs as a Twitch person or a benefactor on YouTube, thank you so very much.
And, of course, with my night child fund and everything else, just to make sure my baby boy will be just fine.
Yeah.
We have to look after a child together, everybody.
We have to help Zora be there.
I'll figure that out.
I think for the most part, everyone said it was Tater Tot.
But, is there a podcast?
There is a podcast.
Always look at the description of a YouTube video.
And that will just answer probably everything that you need, even the first episode.
I think we even put an FAQ of, like, here's how we're doing everything.
Like, always, if you ever have a question, always check a YouTube description first.
If there's nothing in there, then yell at the person because they didn't put enough info.
But, Thurston, what do we have today?
So, last episode, you got up an elevator.
This episode, you have arrived on the moon of Odo, where you have finally figured out, through various contacts, the location of the aftercare's sail.
So, you have been directed to a mining habitat.
This mining habitat is set up to host an auction.
You, still having your contact with Scryner, have finally managed to get access to come in and take part in this auction undercover.
So, we're, uh, we're gonna have you come in here.
Um, as you're coming in, this, this mining habitat has, like, been set up in such a way as to basically be, um, like, a faux aristocratic gala.
Uh, there's, like, red tapestries that have clearly been, like, torn down and thrown on metal grating to make it look like a red carpet affair.
Um, so, you all come in, and as you, you do, you know that the auction is about to take place in this large, expansive area.
Uh, I am going to, oh, gonna try to jump between scenes, because this scene just went all janky on me.
Give me one sec here.
Uh, while you're doing that, Roost will turn to, uh, to the captain and be like,
Sir, um, what was the plan going in again?
Well, we sort of changed it a few times, and then we all went crazy.
Let me think.
Yes, I think we're going to attempt to gain access to the Stasis Crypt.
Uh, killing them all is a plan B, a very solid and likely plan B.
Especially at this point, uh, the longer we spend on this planet, the more, I think, the fumes begin to wipe out our IQ points.
But, tailing that, let's see if we can win this auction fair and square before we pull out our weapons and start dashing ourselves up on the rocks.
Yes, sir.
All right.
So, you, you enter into this expensive chamber, this hub.
There are several groups, um, milling about here.
I'm, I'm just going to start pulling up some art, everybody.
It's going to be easier to do it this way.
The first, as you come into this chamber, is the presence of what is clearly an Eldari Corsair band.
Led by, led by, led by a character I can only describe as the most speaker-oto-coded fucking abomination I have ever seen.
Oh, I want him.
I want someone else to fucking describe this piece of artwork, because I can't do this.
Yeah.
Oh no, describe!
I, I, I love that this fuck-ass outfit barely even looks Eldari.
I'm obsessed.
I, I think, is that like a Hellion board?
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Green Goblin looking ass.
Yeah, it's the, it's, it's the Cunty Green Goblin.
He's on like a red Hellion board.
He's got this tight leather outfit on with like some hot topic belts.
He's got some skulls hanging from, hanging from his belt in the back there.
He's got, uh, some sick ass tattoos.
Uh, he's got, he, he's, he's got a, a, a beautiful expression.
Beautiful.
He's, he, he's looking like he's having a really good day.
Uh.
Yeah, the, the expression of, ah!
Ah!
That's, uh, that's the expression that I made when I, uh.
I'll get you, G.I. Joes!
Uh, uh, um, and, um, yeah, that's, that is definitely a man who started his Corsair journey in Kamara.
He looks like, um, he looks like Verminous Supreme's Mad Max style concubine.
Uh, this is the closest I've ever seen an Eldar look to, uh, to a sex goblin.
Um, I'm, uh, I'm quite concerned.
Uh, but Baron Sathanex has trained me to be prepared for this sort of thing.
Rest in peace, king.
You'll get a model and rules again someday in the next 20 years, I'm sure.
He's gonna get one when, uh, Duke Slyskis gets one again, dude.
Oh, I'm sure.
I guess.
He's just a younger cane.
He lives in death.
He, he, he, he, he, he, he.
Different cane, different cane.
Oh.
They affect his cane.
Alright, I'm gonna move you forward here.
Yeah, please.
There's more groups.
There are many more groups.
Um, to the south, there's a group of pirates and scoundrels led by an impressive duo that I'm
gonna make Zoran narrate this art piece.
So basically, you see some, uh, wearing a, basically like a wife beater and like a sharp
tooth necklace.
There's a huge hulking ogren, uh, wearing it with a nose ring.
He's got a scar on his left eye and riding on top of, on top of him, like smoking a big
stogie with like a mechanical monocle for an eye, uh, for one of his eyes is a rattling.
It seems, uh, like a smaller, like a smaller gentleman, just kind of just taking a ride
on the Sogrin.
Honestly, I, I love them.
I want to go drinking with them.
You know, the rattling's button chops are quite intimidating.
Look, guys, it's Moe and Krill.
Oh my god.
The next groups are two groups, um, we'll, we'll carry, we'll carry on.
We've, we've, we've done this group here.
We've done this group here.
Now let's, let's go over here.
Um, this group is like a cult of gray hooded adverts.
Uh, they, um, they are all sort of waiting in silence.
Um, they, they seem to have, um, like they seem to be like kind of hiding their, their
forms, like under their robes.
They're very like tucked together in, in a bit of a gaggle.
Um, Odo, you can tell that amongst that group.
Uh, Kelrana detects the, the presence of, of, of, um, something, something off.
It's either in this group here or, or the other group, just northeast.
But somewhere in that, those two groups, there is a psyker.
Ooh.
I don't suppose it's the icon with the, uh, person crackling with static.
It might be.
It might.
That is a fair choice.
It's just staticky hair, man.
Like, don't imagine.
Is that true?
It's so true.
Could it potentially be the person with the eight pointed star crackling with electricity
behind them?
Uh, no, I don't think so.
Oh, no.
You just, you know, don't profile.
Yeah.
Rude of me to assume.
Uh, uh, uh, the other group here, um, this group here, um, is a, a group, like, all wielding,
like, primitive weapons.
Um, they, they have, like, ritual scarring, um, some of them have bulges that look like
active mutations.
Um, they also, um, have a chest just amongst them full of silver coinage.
Like, like, a lot of silver coinage of high value.
Basically.
Like, like, on a scale of, of wealth, that would be nine wealth.
Whew.
That's a lot of money.
You can afford guns on your ship, see?
Oh, shit, captain.
I think I know where all your money went.
And where is that, Kilrana?
In that box right there.
Well, hopefully by the end of the day, that will be all my money.
Maybe so.
I'm not sure about that, captain.
They all look much wealthier than you.
Yeah, including the green goblin.
And then up top here, these two sort of mobs that are just Imperial Eagle symbols, um, they
are all the tech gangers.
Uh, each of them has those, like, those, those red arms that you've seen from the aftercares.
Uh, each of them also wields a radium pistol.
Wait, is it safe for us to be here then?
Um, probably not.
Um.
Everybody's got cancer now.
Yeah.
Uh, and then behind them is the large, um, is this large stasis, uh, casket that is
this kind of massive thing in the top right corner of the map here in this, like, elevated
section.
Uh, and you can see, like, very clearly an overworked adept is, like, working on this device.
Does anyone else taste iron?
I always taste iron, captain.
You should get that checked.
No.
All right.
It's good.
It's a good thing.
You should taste more iron.
I'm going to, uh, check my pouch for some iodine tablets, realize I'm out of them, roll
my eyes, and continue the scene.
I start throwing, like, screws around for anomalies.
Like, uh, you know, uh, it's 3.6 ronkin.
That's, that's all.
That's all.
Oh, it's not, not, not great, not terrible.
Exactly.
Perfectly healthy amount.
Yeah.
RPMK stasis clips do not explode.
Uh, one of, one of the tech gang, thank you, speaker, for understanding me, uh, one
of the tech gangers approaches, um, kind of looking, looking up your group as, as you're
walking in.
Hi there.
Hi.
Greetings.
How goes it?
You're Aladdin Roosh.
No, I'm Alden Roosh.
And Piper say, Aladdin Roosh.
Well, your papers are wrong.
I'm Alden Roosh, captain of the, rogue traitor, captain of the Bird of Paradise, a conquest
class star.
Roosh, traitor.
Yes, I'm Aladdin Roosh.
Whatever the hell you say.
Oh, okay.
Very good.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
May, uh, have our twitches with fury.
You could just grab a place.
All the good ones are taken.
I guess you could go by the hangar to the Southeaster.
You can mingle if you want.
We're going to start things up.
We're going to, we're going to send some cocktails around if you want a drink.
You know, it's going to be good.
I very much appreciate that.
There he goes.
There he goes.
Okay.
Group huddle for a moment.
Yep, we're in.
All right.
I don't believe it's in our best interest to immediately begin opening fire.
This is a bit of a, well, packed crowd.
Perhaps we should see if we can turn these bidding parties against one another.
Corona.
Mm-hmm.
You should see if you could make contact with your people over here.
Perhaps we can turn them to our cause in some way.
Maybe.
They might be inclined to listen to me, but I do sort of have a bit of a monk, monk, monk,
monk high stink to me at the moment.
Wait, how, now that's just ridiculous.
Your people can't just judge you because you associate with individuals of another.
Ooh.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah, you see the problem.
But I'm more than happy to go and talk to them.
If they are corsairs, it means they're probably a bit more understanding of a circumstance.
Although, it looks like their little ringleader might be from the Dark City, so we'll see exactly how nice he's inclined to be.
The Dark City, are you?
The Dark City!
Referring to Comoran.
Comoran, yeah.
Comoran.
Comoran.
Oh, God.
Shittiest place in the galaxy is, uh, you know.
Sir, I've been informed.
Well, I didn't even want to respond to that.
Well, why don't you go and talk to them at the very least and see if you can get any information.
Loisus, Roos, what are your takes on the situation?
Go ahead, Loisus.
Oh, thank you.
I mean, I would agree that Comoran is one of the shittiest places in the entire galaxy.
Shittier than most craft worlds, and that's saying something.
Hey, craft worlds are pretty nice.
Haven't you ever seen a tree before?
Yes, they're ugly and in front of my eyes, they should be made of metal.
Okay, now I understand why you like Comoran.
What?
No, you said he didn't like Comoran.
Oh, or at least I didn't like Comoran.
Now, Roan, you may need to get your ears checked.
Do you have any augmentics you need to dump or need installed?
I gotta take my novelty earmuffs off.
Oh, she had a earmuffs off.
Oh, right.
You know, the whole disguise thing, but they're an ugly, hideous mutant.
Yeah, just a regular ugly mutant.
Makes sense.
You are ugly.
That is true.
They are always saying this to me.
Someone with no Warhammer knowledge is going to fucking listen to this show and be like,
these people are such fucking assholes.
That was going to happen.
As soon as Kalata talks to any other Eldar, it's like, you are the most, like, 10-10 thing
they've ever seen.
It's just, for us, it's like, oh, you just got to look at the ears.
Oh, you, disgusting.
Maggot.
You're just a filthy, filthy, wispy little creature.
I want to cut you up and sell you to the, to back to the Eldar.
Right.
No, don't do that.
Well, what about you, Roos?
Do you think that, uh, the big one, is that an Ogryn, do you think?
Uh, Roos squints and looks at the other Ogryn and goes, that one's a skinny Ogryn.
I'll smash them all pretty good, but even then, he looks at all the other people.
If they start blasting, at least I got my big, my big happy sticks, you know, to basically
make another big bone and several others, but it's going to be a lot of killing and
a lot of shooting.
Um, Alden, uh, shakes his head and then he realizes that he's just asked Roos for his,
uh, tactical opinion, and so will say, um, and what about that one over there?
Don't you think that she's, um, uh, alien?
Oh, absolutely, sir.
You see that wild, stanky air?
Fucking weirdo, man.
Fucking, you're gonna suck.
Yes, yes.
And, and, and that gentleman right there, underneath his mask, that, that has to be corn under the
mask, yes?
Oh, absolutely, sir.
He's absolutely made of corn.
Yes, yes, I figured as much.
All right, well.
Can I eat him?
No.
Well, maybe.
I think we should.
Wait, hold on.
Let me, let me turn on my, should Roos eat that vision right now?
If only we had a soul stone.
If only we had a soul stone.
For Roos to be told what he can and cannot eat.
I mean, you could ask the soul stone.
Thirsten, based upon my knowledge.
Could I eat that guy?
The answer is unclear.
I guess not.
I guess we'll find out.
Challenge accepted.
Thirsten, based upon my knowledge, can I make it some kind of, I, well, let's scholar check
against the masked individual to say, see whether or not Roos should eat a potentially
chaos-tainted individual.
Can only go well.
Yeah, sure.
I'll, I'll give it to you.
Difficulty three.
Okay.
Do we, three?
That's a lot.
That's a lot.
Seven and a crit, so put that one pool.
He'd be corrupting.
Not, like, a lot of corruption, though.
Like, it might be worth it.
Roos, I don't know how to tell you this, but even if it's made of corn under that mask,
I would strongly recommend you do not eat that one.
Oh, why not?
Well, you see, sometimes corn gets all musty, yucky.
You, you don't like tummy aches, do you, Roos?
I never had a tummy ache before.
Imagine if your tummy, the thing that feels good when you eat so much corn, like the big
boy that you are, imagine if that stomach of yours started punching you from the inside
and then started growing limbs and clawing its way out of you.
Oh, I don't like that, sir.
Yes, and imagine if that tummy would never feel good again because after clawing its way
out of you, it was then proceeding to strangle you and eat you.
Would that feel very good?
No, sir.
Eggs, exactly.
So that man is made of musty corn, and you know what we do to musty corn men?
We, we, we eat them?
No, no.
What we're taking, okay, we're going to walk a couple of steps back.
What happens when we eat musty food?
Oh.
Oh.
It's just going to be on the test.
It's going to be on the test.
He gets anxiety.
No.
Oh, no, no pressure, no pressure.
It's a one question test.
If I'm, if I'm hearing you here, okay?
Okay, if I'm, if I'm getting what you're putting, putting down for me to pick up, so then I don't,
so then I, so I don't, then you put it down, and then, and then I pick, then I would pick
it up.
Bruce, what happens when we eat musty food?
And then, and then I put it down.
And then, just give me a minute, okay?
Yeah, you got it, you got it.
It's, it's taking me a moment, and I really don't need to rush me right now, okay?
Of course, of course, it's not a timed exam.
Okay, don't rush me, okay?
All right, Bruce, Bruce, a big boy, and can figure this out, okay?
Yes, he is.
Okay, you put it down, and we do, and you take the point, and you put it down, and just,
hmm.
We don't eat them.
Correct.
Ding, ding, ding.
That's a, that's a correct answer.
We don't eat musty corn, boys.
Good job.
Have a lollipop.
Oh, thank you.
Just breaks in one bite.
Stick it all.
Stick it all.
No.
All right.
Well, now that we've finished teaching Bruce, um, something, I'm unclear as to what, I say
we break off into two teams, and, uh, begin plying some of our neighbors.
Aloysus, Karona, you should question the Eldar.
We shall go south and, uh, speak to the, uh, uh, inferior ogren.
All right.
All right.
And, uh, what are we going to do about, uh, I did sense a little bit of psychic phenomenon
from that direction.
Well, we'll figure that out when we get to it.
In the interim, Kilrana, don't, I'll, I'll lean in.
Don't be afraid to act like you're going to betray me if it can get you a leg in.
Don't worry, Captain.
I'm very good at pretending.
You make me sick sometimes.
All right.
Oh, you mean that?
No.
Unfortunately, yes.
All right.
You have your orders.
Let's move out.
Ten hook.
Bruce puts her hand on Kilrana's shoulder and goes, don't worry.
I don't know where the tummy ache is, and you don't make me sick.
Damn.
Bruce.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You just horrified me.
That's okay.
She wants off.
I am pretty ugly.
God damn.
Friends like these.
I know.
Irreplaceable.
Irreplaceable.
Who needs enemies?
All right, Aloysius.
We'll go talk to, uh, the Elder.
I know you speak the language, but, uh, don't know exactly how friendly they're going to be.
I can't imagine they'll be particularly friendly to a Monkai like me, so I'll let you do the most of the talking and just hurl platitudes their way.
I don't know.
Oh, not to worry.
I'm really good at talking.
Kilrana looks at her Fellowship One score and smiles very knowingly.
I appreciate, I really, really appreciate, um, that speakers, like, plan for, like, all right, the best negotiations are, like, things that are alike belong together.
Eldar, match with Eldar.
Ogryn, match with Ogryn.
Well, yeah, I mean, you know, I'm trying, I'm just trying to pick seeds that will be good and cool.
It's been a cool.
You guys are.
Oh.
Yay.
You're cool.
Room temperature, what do you mean?
It's too perfect.
It's too, it's too temperate.
Damn, Zoran, you're, you're, you're mighty temperate today.
Thank you.
All right, we're out of groups.
All right.
Uh, Kilrana and Roos, roll me a d6.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
I rolled a one.
Perfect.
I rolled a five.
Planet explodes.
Sick.
Katie, I broke.
Kilrana.
Servants of the Force.
You, you approach this Eldari, who looks over you as you walk up.
He kind of, like, leers his head back.
Ooh, way, hello.
Is that his voice?
Uh, never mind.
Negotiations have failed.
I kick him off his stupid scooter.
His dumbass skateboard.
You can't kick me off this.
Look at me.
Fly around.
Whee.
Thank you, Thurston.
Thank you, Thurston.
This is the kind of guy you could stop by telling him swipe or no swiping.
True.
True.
Hi.
I'll be honest.
Didn't expect to see a Corsair crew here.
Why not?
Well, we're sort of in the middle of bumfuck nowhere and they're selling, what, some kind
of Monkai box or something or other?
I will have you know that it is a dangerous animal which we shall sell to Komora so I may
return.
Huh?
Hold on.
You're selling it back to Komora so you can go back?
Why the hell are you going back?
Because I wish to be among my kid and be cool again.
They're going to take him back?
I don't think that's how that even works.
I'm not so sure that's how it works either.
Well, I mean, what kind of dangerous animal is it?
I don't know.
All I know is that it is rare and dangerous and if I bring it back alive, then it will
purchase my return to the Dracarys Society.
Oh, I see.
Well, I mean, it's probably for the best to try to get a look at what it actually is, you
know?
They're pretty stringent in the Dark City about who they let back in.
Oh, ever since the throne blooding, that incident, like, does, like, a feigned, like, back of
hand over his forehead.
Oh, it was a difficult time for me, but this shall restore me to greatness.
Yeah, well, what did you do in, uh, Komora, speaking of?
I see you're bored.
You were in the arenas.
I was doing some acrobatics and my board caught a man sitting on his throne.
He was an archon.
I was but a man.
And so the throne blooding, they called it, and I was ejected.
Ooh, yeah, rough one.
Really rough one.
So, really.
But I shall return.
Oh, okay.
Very interesting.
But, I mean, what if, like, what if it's shit?
Like, what if it's not good enough to get you back in?
Then you'll go all that way for nothing.
What?
Yeah, I mean, you never checked what was in the box and what it does.
Huh?
No, no, no, no.
Me and my fellow corsairs, we, we have the best intelligence.
Okay.
Do you have enough intelligence?
Hmm?
Aloysus?
Do you have enough intelligence to know, oh, I don't know, if they're just going to humiliate
and betray you once you come back?
I do do that, Carl.
Placating them, begging for forgiveness, or showing, oh, yes, I brought back this wonderful
creature, surely they'll let me in good graces and not flay you alive.
That is true.
If you just got expelled and not flayed alive, you know, I pulled out a lucky break.
That was mercy.
You should know, Drusha, they're not known for their mercy.
You could do so much better than them.
What?
Yeah, take it from him.
He's seen a lot.
Well, I've worked with them.
They're a tough crowd to please.
They don't take any animal in a cryostasis pod.
Well, if it doesn't work out, then I have a new plan.
I have a new plan.
It's a better plan.
What is your plan?
If the thing inside the capsule doesn't work and it's not good enough, I'll put him in
looks over, sees Roos in the other crowd.
I'll put him in it.
No, you won't put him in that.
I will happily flay you and turn you into a servitor if you try.
However.
Aloysius, as my friend here was saying, that's our buddy.
Belongs to me.
And if we're going back to the dark today, he's coming with me.
Oh, you come to the dark city with me?
The dark city?
The dark city?
Do you really?
By the way, everyone, this is seriously how I just envision every dark Eldar in my brain.
So this is me just influencing.
I thought they all sounded like pirates.
No.
No, this is how I actually view them.
And like, if this was like a hero point campaign, I would probably give them a lot of
speaker three fucking hero points because I can hear the teeth grinding through the fucking
internet.
No, this is just such a great character, Thurston.
And I'm riveted by this depiction of my favorite faction.
Well, you know, on this bike, I can pop a wheelie.
There's no wheels.
How do you pop a wheelie?
You're not a Reaver.
You're a Helion.
You don't have wheels.
Neither do Reavers.
You're not on a motorcycle.
You're a skateboarder.
You're discount Tony Hawk.
How do you know who that is?
That's a legendary figure from the Terran myth.
Yeah, his bones are embedded in every white scar bike.
Yeah, yeah.
The Saint Tony Hawk.
He went to Comerol once.
He threaded a sick half pipe and we were just like, you know what?
Maybe you guys aren't an inferior race after all.
I just imagine fucking Tony Hawk and Jagat Icon fighting in the fucking pits together.
He is a saint.
But, you know, we've never seen Tony Hawk and Doom Rider in the same place at the same time.
It's true.
It's true.
He's one of Jagat Icons.
The more appropriate figurehead to be a saint would be Evil Knievel because of his motorcycle
for the white scars.
Yeah.
Yeah, Jagat Icon and Tony Hawk go way back, except Jagat Icon's already forgotten his name.
Tony Hawk, I wonder where that guy is right now.
He's also in this room bidding on the auction.
Oh my God.
We just don't recognize him because he's a couple millennia old.
Exactly, exactly.
But, yeah, I mean, honestly, mate, you're better saving the credits, right?
If you're trying to get back into the Dark City, trying to buy some random cryo-stasis,
who's-a-ma-what's-it from the Monkai, like, you know?
Don't you think those would be better spent somewhere else?
Maybe on something you can be a little more sure of?
Maybe, hey, if you get yourself a fancy new board, go catch one of your own.
What kind of skill check are you using to influence this?
Psychic mastery, no.
Um, um, well...
It...
I'm not being all that intimidating, but my intimidation is much better than my, uh, uh, deception.
So, I'll tell you what, Thurston, if I-if I can loom over this, uh, Hellion with his beautiful voice,
uh, uh, and kind of say-
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I think-I think you should save the credits for something else, mate.
And, uh, you know, I'm-I'm-I'm being flanked by my very intimidating friend,
who is the size of a refrigerator, is made of metal, and is just speaking Eldari to this guy.
Okay.
Um, hmm.
Let's go difficulty...
Five.
Ooh!
All right, all right, we got this.
Let's go, Odo, let's go.
You didn't make a single-
That was bad!
Jesus Christ, dude.
That was really bad!
Uh, okay, I-the-the order of reparations, remind me, it is wrath first, and then I could spend from the glory pool.
Yeah, correct.
Okay.
Uh, yes, I am going to first spend a wrath to re-roll that.
Wrath point!
Can, uh, Tony Hawk assist?
Yeah, you can Tony Hawk assist.
All right, you got down to the wrath point?
Go ahead and-
Oh!
There you go!
Oh!
Down to the wrath point?
Very nice.
Sorry, the Tony Hawk icon!
What, uh, we need to, uh, we need to-
What you rolled?
Uh, I got six successes on my intimidation test, and my good friend Tony Hawk is now here to help me.
Uh, he-he's a-he is an Eldar legend to me.
It's-his name is Tony, like, T-O-apostrophe-N-I.
I don't think- I don't think Jack can see what I've done!
I'm glad- I'm glad that I finally formed this LLC for limited liability stuff, so whenever I get sued for using the likeness of Tony Hawk in our show, that I've secured my personal assets.
Excellent.
Good.
10 out of 10.
Thank God.
So Tony-
So Tony has done what he needs to do?
Yes, thank you.
Thank you, Tony.
He is Tony of hook, all right?
Like-
Tony of hook, all right?
Tony Sparrow, all right?
That's his name.
Tony Sparrow, all right?
That's his name.
You-you invoke the spirits, and, um, the Seldar, a kind of like-
Oh!
Oh no!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Hey, don't think we thought this through, boys!
Looks over the other Corsairs, who are all looking at each other, worried.
Yeah, well, it's a good thing we came along, Major.
I'm sure to let you know, just so you didn't waste your credits.
I suppose we should go.
Could.
Well, hey, it was great meeting you and your crew.
Terrible.
They begin to file out.
Oh, that wasn't so bad.
All right, yeah, now I get to be the only Eldar in the room again.
Yeah, baby!
Exactly!
Exactly!
So I-
Well, no, you're not the only Eldar here anymore, you're just, uh, you-well, I guess it doesn't
really matter.
There's chaos here.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've gone from being the second ugliest back to the first ugliest, and we cannot have
my throne usurped from me.
Of course!
We will not have them take that any time soon.
Thank you.
All right, bit over.
All right.
Good bit, streamer.
Good bit, streamer.
Let's cut to the other group that has, uh, headed up here.
As you approach, the, um, the Ogryn and the Rattling seem to be in an intense discussion
that sort of calms down with the Rattling still being like,
Well, you see, that's why we have to do it this way, and if we don't-
Oh!
Hello there!
Uh, greetings!
I'm Olden Rosh.
This is my companion, Woos.
Hello!
Here's a little wave.
I'm Rocko.
You want a drink?
Oh, no, thank you, but I very much appreciate the offer.
I should go.
What about you?
Do you want a drink, big guy?
Oh, I would like a little sippy, if you don't mind.
Oh, we got a sippy cup for, for Lin here.
I got an extra one.
We got to load it up with the Amasek we do.
Here you go.
Oh, oh, oh, thank you.
You, you take that.
You got big bones, and they need big Amasek.
Oh, thank you.
Woos takes a drink.
All right, you look to be the person in charge.
What can I do you for?
Yes, about that.
I assume you're here to bid on the Stasis Crypt.
I'm curious as to what you know about it.
Oh, well, I reckon, uh, it's got some important in it.
That's why Jekyll Veronius, the rogue trader, has given me a bunch of wealth to bring here
to purchase it.
Really, Jekyll Veronius?
Uh, can I attempt to roll something to know who that is?
Well, you do, because Jekyll Veronius was the rogue trader who asked you to get the thigh bone.
Oh, my God.
Jekyll Veronius.
Not Houston.
Va, va-roni, not ma-roni.
Hey, you know what?
I know, I know, I know.
All right, back to the Olive Garden discussion.
All right, let's go.
Oh, no, just cool.
Just bringing it a comma raw at this point.
Patreon.com forward slash near to declaration for the pre-show.
True.
Now, on your way through, stop by a gift store at near to declaration.shop for a t-shirt.
Very interesting.
You know, I actually did some work for Mr. Veronius by virtue or by way of the Inquisition.
In fact, we had just come back from a mission like that.
Oh, well, that sounds real good.
Yes, that was where the madness began.
At any rate, I'm afraid I have some bad news about all of this.
Hey, he's got bad news.
I heard him.
I heard him.
It won't be that.
I don't like bad news.
Hey, you're just going to realize that bad news is just part of life, friend.
Yes, but we worked through it together.
Do you get bad news a lot?
All the time.
But hey, I still get to eat.
And I still get to hang around with my friend.
He kind of grabs all of them.
Yes, we're the best of pals.
What do you eat?
Oh, I eat corn.
Corn?
Corn?
Corn?
You want some?
Corn?
Bruce will take out the fucking, like, mercy card he's got.
It's not where it's not as fresh as it was, you know, months ago.
But you could have some.
It's like the most rancid, like, stock of corn.
There's, like, Nurgle bloat flies around it.
I think I found out is that if you leave it out for a while, it gets a spicy taste to it.
Oh.
I want it.
Here you go, friend.
I'm Roos.
I'm Lin.
Nice to meet you, Lin.
Nice to meet you, Roos.
I guess this is going on as they're talking.
Like...
No, I actually just imagined the Ethiocrit have taken over.
This is one of those, like, we're going to have important diplomatic talks.
I'd like some corn.
Yes, well, that's all very well and good.
And I'm more than happy to furnish you with some, but I really must speak with Rocco.
Oh, well, I'm right here.
You can just talk to me, you know.
Well, most excellent.
As it turns, and I lean in a bit closer,
it seems the Inquisition have a serious interest in that casket.
The what?
Yes.
The Inquisition!
Silence.
It echoes through the room.
Everybody.
The woman with the static hair turns.
I hope she just sprints out the door.
Yes, as it turns, the Inquisition has their eyes set on what it was within that.
And that means that even for a rogue trader such as I,
it's not the most advisable to attempt to get in their way and pilfer it ourselves.
I'm certain that your employer would understand that.
But there is still a way for us both dynasties to turn a tidy profit from all this.
Well, I don't want to die from this.
I don't want to die either.
Me neither.
And look, I'm just getting used to it.
I just ate my first corn.
I have so much more to live for now that I've had corn.
You know, now that I've had corn, everything else will be that time I did that thing after having corn.
Absolutely.
I agree with you.
You have much to live for.
And that is why you should not risk your life attempting to pilfer this and instead aid me.
If you do so, well, for one, you'll notice that those Eldari have just left the room.
They're not liable to come back.
You can tell your master whatever you wish.
That the auction was a bust.
That everything was completely off the rails and whatnot.
Take the gold you've brought to pay for the auction item.
And return to your master, informing them of a Drukhari raid or what have you.
The Inquisition will no doubt be willing to help buffer out any inconsistencies with your statement.
Them or the original employees that hired me, they who run this planet, not quite sure where or who should get this device.
But I see no reason why we can't join forces in order to-
Lynn raises his hand like a child.
Yes, Lynn.
Well, um, it's my understanding it is that we're technically on a moon right now.
So this isn't really a planet, but I guess you're kind of similar.
But, but, but, but, you know, it's important to get that kind of thing right.
That's what I've been told.
Bruce nods.
Yeah, Aldi, you really gotta check your facts, you know.
Right.
But, um, your Ogryn is rather well-spoken.
Like mine.
I wonder if there's something in the water.
I love, okay, I love that for every fucking short we do that involves Roos, everyone's like, this is a really eloquent Ogryn.
Well, the funniest one is when I haven't even talked to Roos at all.
I've just been normally talking.
Oh, yeah.
It's just you and they just assume, yes.
Ah, so good.
Well, anyways, you can go back to talking now.
I just wanted to raise a very important point.
Oh, I did.
Thank you very much.
I think that was a very important point there, sir.
Yes, I think we're all in agreement about how important it was.
Now, here's the big idea.
Roosko, you and I should join-
Rocco.
Right.
Rocco, you and I should join forces, deal with those obviously pernicious chaos types to our right,
take this stasis crypt for a smatteringly low sum, and then find a way to make a profit without getting gang pressed by the Inquisition.
Nice save, nice save, nice save.
Good save there.
Good save there, Svear.
Yeah, I, you know, whatever.
Goodbye.
Oh, well, you know, as long as it doesn't turn out to be what I think it is, we'll be good.
What do you think it is?
Oh, I think it's the chapter master of the absolvers.
Nothing ever goes happens to them.
Oh.
Well, what can you tell me about the absolvers?
I'm afraid I'm not familiar.
I'm not local to the sector.
Oh, they're the Gilead System Zone.
The space marine absolver chapter.
Well, why would it be bad if it was that?
Well, every time that the space marines get involved, everything goes to shite.
What can you tell me about, uh, what's happening exactly?
Well, all, all I've been hearing is that they're, that they're an offshoot of the blood angels, and I've heard, well, you know, weird things happen to blood angels who go to sleep too long.
Oh, no.
Hmm.
Bruce pokes, Alden.
Yes, Bruce.
What's a space marine, sir?
I'm going to roll, uh, scholar.
Sure.
To see exactly how much I actually know about space marines.
Two successes.
Um.
Imagine.
The Emperor's Angels, baby.
They are the Emperor's Angels.
I've yet to meet one in person.
Supposedly they're larger and stronger than an ogren.
Oh.
That could be true.
Well, I, I can only tell you what I've heard, not what I know to be true.
Apparently there are those of both the loyal and disloyal variety.
Hmm.
I think we met a few on the space elevator, actually.
There's actually a whole chapter coming just for this box.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It would sit enough the entire time.
Well, then, what do you say, Rocco?
Will you join forces with me?
Give me a difficulty six cunning check.
You got it.
Uh, five successes.
I am going to go ahead and spend a wrath.
Okay.
Wrath point.
All right, that's seven successes, but there is a complication.
Roll the complication for me, please.
Absolutely.
Past problems.
Something from my past comes back to haunt me.
An old wound flares up in pain, or I'm distracted by a memory.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Perhaps one of the warm-ass dudes.
I don't know.
Probably that time you, uh, became an inflation thing.
No!
Yeah, you're, you're always talking about that, Zorin.
For some reason, you just keep bringing it back to that.
Like, you had some kind of weird fixation.
Like, what's going on, man?
Why are you, why are you always talking about that?
I just need more material for my blog.
Oh, really?
Your blog?
What do you post on it?
Inflation.
Yeah, I fucking pay.
Right to the point.
Zorin is not fucking around.
You try to play chicken, and I'm using a bulldozer.
How do you want to go about this?
You know what, fair enough.
I'll just, yeah, you can dig your own grave.
It saves me the trouble.
I'll meet you on the other side.
Absolutely.
It's a mass grave, and we're both jumping in it.
What the fuck?
Okay.
Pass problem.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you regret being at the table now?
Pass problem.
Pass problem.
Pass problem.
I mean, it's hard to tell because things have been going so smoothly lately.
You know, it's not like there's a lot of things to work with there.
Thirsten, I understand the hesitation.
You know, I think that there is just a past problem of, you know, the last time you truly trusted someone to look after you,
Roos ran off, and you were gutted by an orc war boss.
And so seeing this sort of buddy duo has just, like, really, really hurt you somehow.
You're not sure.
It's just something that's impacted you.
I don't know how that part is untrue.
Yeah, I gave him my captain hat.
Yeah.
And you did.
You did.
And I was pretending he was the orc shooting at him, and Roos wouldn't see the sneaky orc.
He's making shit up.
I can rely.
No.
Can I get a mulligan on that one?
I think.
You can get a mulligan.
You can get a mulligan.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm struggling here.
Okay.
You're fast.
Fucking problem.
Come on.
It's easy.
Don't you have Horus Lupercal statted?
We could take him.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Are you sure it's not just a cane stat sheet?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I do.
You know why?
Because this is rather fucking glorious.
This is Chunky Salsa the game.
We'll take that fucking out.
I don't care.
Chunky Salsa the game.
Yeah, man.
I think you can do this, man.
Fourth edition who?
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
You.
You're.
You're.
Fuck.
Past problem sucks.
Okay.
Technology goes wrong.
Okay.
My ship falls onto the moon.
You lost your ship.
Okay.
One of your ammo packs dies.
Okay.
All right.
Well, that was inconvenient.
Actually, I never really listed how much ammo I had.
You should have refreshed yourself.
Yeah.
So I might have had two.
I used one.
So I've got only the one left in the, in the, in the gun now.
Correct.
All right.
Well.
All right.
Sounds good.
I'll be around here if you need me.
Most excellent.
Uh, for now, I'm going to reconvene with my companions and will reconnoiter this, uh,
disreputable crowd that's unfolded before us.
And, uh, I'm going to head back with Roos to Kelrana and Aloysus.
Well, seems like you've acquitted yourselves quite well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, turns out they decided to just, uh, fuck off.
Well, I certainly think that served our purposes.
It helped me illustrate a point to our companions down south.
Believe it or not, they were hired by the same rogue trader that hired us for that saint's thigh bone.
Really?
Indeed.
Fortunately, I've been able to get them to our side.
He seems to have it in his head that there's a space marine in that stasis crypt.
A what?
There's a what?
He believes there may be a space marine in the stasis crypt.
Why did you go back to Matt Berry again?
The space marine.
There may be a space marine.
Hold on.
Question.
I'm just a sweet tr-
Yes?
What the fuck is a space marine?
I mean, we are in space.
But that, it seems to have specific connotations.
Imagine a fraternity of angels of death, seconded to the emperor's side.
Super mutant protectors of humanity.
Most of them are bald, but I try not to hold it against them.
I've never seen one in flesh.
I've only heard tales of their exploits.
And their bald heads?
And their bald heads.
For instance, those two, um, well, I'm tired of talking about that joke.
Suffice to say, space marines are not to be underestimated.
And our companion here thinks they might have gone...
But if Rocco's assumption is correct, there may be a mad space marine in that capsule.
Oh, that's fine.
And depending on who's writing this book, that space marine could solo everybody in here and die in one shot.
True.
So, that's why our Drukhari friend was, uh, so keen on getting his hands on him.
Ah.
Are we inclined to believe him?
Well, I think that's a fine assumption to work off of, but for now, I'm much less concerned by what's in the capsule as I am of obtaining it.
Either for our original employers, or for the Inquisition that seems to be asking after it.
At least I think it was an Inquisitor.
I was drunk at the time.
Oh, I think he said he was with the Inquisition.
Look, you were also drunk.
Ruse, did he say he was...
Oh, no.
I would have to be the one to remember that.
I think...
Oh, lad, I can see if I remember this.
My two little friends would have...
Oh, yes, that corpse hooch was absolutely fucking awesome.
And by awesome, it means it completely ruined me for several hours.
Yes, did you make it out of medical alcohol?
Uh, no, it was mostly out of distilled effluents.
You'd be surprised how much you could repurpose a human body to really whatever you quite need, including booze.
I would be.
But continue.
Nevertheless, I don't have any immediate recollection, but if you give me a moment, I should be able to recall that.
And Aloysius will plumb his databanks for recorded data of that conversation.
Uh, he was a representative of the Inquisition.
Um, didn't say that they were an Inquisitor.
Oh.
Uh, yes, this individual was a representative, but no word if they were an Acolyte or an Inquisitor themselves.
Hmm.
It's entirely possible he was simply at the same standing as I am, as I would be tantamount to an Acolyte in some circles.
Something closer to an Inquisitor to others, but a henchperson, one way or the other.
Sometimes it's better that way.
You can operate with a bit more impugn.
Your Inquisitor simply turns a blind eye.
Oh, that's good to hear.
Uh, regardless, we do still have these, um, cultists to worry about.
I say we try to meet their acquaintance, see what we can see, learn what we can learn about our adversaries.
Quite.
And did you happen to say with what chapter this alleged space marine might be from?
The Absolvers.
I'm told a blood angel's descendant or successor.
Ah.
I don't know much about, uh, the Adeptus Astartes.
I would like to make a Scholar check to see what I know from my studies.
Sure.
Go ahead.
Difficulty?
Uh, to get a bit more, Difficulty 5.
Sure.
Difficulty 5.
Fine.
Fine.
That's okay.
13 successes.
Why?
Every single die was a success, save for the rat, the crit die.
Oh my god.
He knows everything there is to know about space marines.
He, he fucking fist bumped with Gilliman himself.
He's read everything there is.
Yeah.
You have read every Horus Heresy novel.
You, what do you want to know?
Even the ones coming up.
Yeah.
Like, you've, you've, you've finished Eidolon and that just came out recently.
And that, like, like, look, you're up to speed.
Uh, I would like to know if there's a, and I don't recall the specifics of the conversation that I didn't hear, but if there's a missing member of the chapter, if there's something mysterious that has befallen them, like, the pertinent information about an absolver space marine or their chapter that would likely come into play here.
Particularly missing members.
Particularly missing members.
Okay.
Or, like, any kinds of, hey, is he going to go ape shit with Black Rage and kill me?
Yeah.
Make sure there's no AWOL space marines or unaccounted for.
Aureus Sirenius, uh, is the, the chapter master, uh, per the last update that you did in the last Horus Heresy novel that you read.
Um, and, um, and Aureus has, was disappeared after the start of the, uh, after the creation of the Great.
It's unknown if he survives or not.
Interesting.
Well, according to my records, the absolvers do have a chapter master, one Aureus Aurenius, although he has gone missing since the creation of the Psychiatrix Maledictum.
I don't, sorry.
No, it's okay, Captain.
I, I understand you're just as excited as I am.
It is entirely possible that he could have survived if that module, that pod contains a chapter master.
Well, we'd certainly be heroes to their chapter and have some sort of debt, but I don't, I don't know what else, if that's even him or if that's another member of the chapter.
If it is a space marine and it is an absolver's space marine, that, that would be the stalwart peerless example of his entire brotherhood.
Is there any possibility that that chapter master, when held in stasis since the opening of the Psychiatrix, could potentially have, um, gone insane and become some sort of murderous psychopath?
Thurston, are blood angels known to delve into the Black Rage after being in stasis?
With a 13, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%.
Oh, uh, yes, that's a distinct possibility that he might wake up and want to eat you.
Yeah, he, he may just awaken from his stasis and decide that he's a might-bit peckish and slaughter and consume us.
Well, that sounds best than ideal. Perhaps we should avoid opening it.
Perhaps we should, but we should also avoid the ruinous thralls who are arrayed across the room from obtaining ownership of said capsule.
And it would behoove us to make allies of those who will lay waste to them.
I cannot stress the imperative of how we must utterly annihilate any of the followers of chaos in this room.
For if they obtain a Space Marine Chapter Master, let alone plumbing the depths of his psyche for what the Imperial Loyalists know,
corrupting and perverting a Loyalist Space Marine of his caliber would be ruinous for this sector.
I may not specialize in the heretical, that may not be my purview, but I cannot, I should not have to impress upon you how chaos should not be allowed to take root here, Captain.
Certainly not. I won my commission breaking slaughter cruisers over asteroid fields.
I'll keep that crusade to the physical planet for the air.
All right. Let us get to understand the shape and presence of our enemy.
Let us see if they are indeed aligned with the ruinous powers.
And let us see if they have any weaknesses.
Captain, if I may posit a potential solution.
Of course.
If we can find some sort of long-range vox or some communication terminal here upon the station,
I may be able to reach out across the void, at least hail the ship in orbit,
to put a communique out to the Bird of Paradise and see who they can reach in kind.
If we could arrange for a pickup, we may be able to salvage this operation.
I don't believe the Fabricator General has a particular use for a space marine.
Thus, the contents of the crypt are no less called into question than they were before.
So, it's your call.
See to it.
Perhaps we can get the Bird of Paradise to ferry down another slander here.
Quite right, Captain.
As you do that,
Corona,
Roos,
I ask you to accompany me.
Let us go and speak with our foe.
Sure, Sean.
Aye, aye.
Which group?
One to the south or to the right?
I want to talk to the guy to the south, I think.
All right.
But, I mean, I'm kind of not necessarily avoiding either one.
I just want to see.
I want to know who we're dealing with.
Yeah.
Uh, I can talk to the Psyker, but I don't know if that will make things better or worse.
And also, my fellowship is one.
Honestly, I really just want you here in case the Psyker tries to any, like, moon man mind magic on me.
Um, it's nice to have you there to sort of, uh, at least attempt to circumvent it.
Okie dokie.
Loisus, you want to move your tummy?
Yeah.
Uh, I need to go and look for a communications terminal.
Yes.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, you was going to split up and look for that real quick.
There we go.
I was waiting for my turn.
And presumably he can, uh, rejoin with us.
We just did a long talk scene.
I'm cool if Loisus does his thing first.
I'm also cool if the three of you want to go engage with them, and then we can, like, cut back to mirror, depending on how short it's going to be.
Uh, what do you say, Thurston Hillman?
Want to flip a coin?
Flip a coin.
Flip a coin.
One is, one is Aloisus.
Because Aloisus is number one.
I actually just do a B6.
Uh, odds Aloisus evens us.
I am quite odd, yes.
Yeah.
Evens.
So it's us.
Even Steven.
All right.
Time to boot up the latro.
Time to close down the latro.
Busted out 88 again.
Mm, shucks.
All right.
You approach the, the, the two groups, though, coming to the, more the one to the south.
Um, as you do, um, this one is the sort of gray hooded adepts.
Um, as you approach, Kelrana, give me a sign of the science test.
Yep.
A figure.
Difficulty three.
Difficulty three.
Okay.
God damn!
Okay, I sense all of the psychic power everywhere, as it turns out.
Okay, okay, okay.
Um, well, the first thing you detect is that static hair lady's actually here, and the psyker is with the robed group and not the other group.
Oh.
As you were getting closer, you can tell that one of the group here is, is a psyker, and you're able to impress upon which one now, as, as you've gotten closer.
Um, the gray hooded, uh, adepts look, um, they, like, look up, shake their heads.
And they just, like, it seems like they don't want to talk to you.
They don't want to talk to me.
Huh?
Any of you.
Even Roos, they look at Roos and just shake their heads.
How could they do that to him?
Who do I speak to?
And what master do you serve?
They continue to shake their heads.
Oh.
Heretics, then, eh?
We must find a worthy sacrifice.
The coffin has the sacrifice.
Sacrifice.
Well, I'm sorry to...
Well, that one's the witch, Shabby.
We shall unify.
That, that one's the witch, Captain.
You then realize that they're all talking together.
Oh.
Oh.
Yes.
Yes, you will all be unified.
I'll see to it.
Unified with one another in your warp-spawned hell.
I'll send you back to it if I sent scoutless of your servants.
When you profess your failures to your dark gods,
know that Alden Roche sent you to it.
I think we're done here.
I'm going to...
They all watch you.
Just like their eyes just over you.
God, how creepy.
I'm going to walk back to Rocco.
I could do something potentially really stupid.
What are you thinking?
I've got the spell Compel.
I could try to compel her to speak more on her intentions.
No, we won't need to know their intentions.
We need to gather our allies and quickly make a move.
All right.
I have a question.
Oh, yes, Roos.
Sometimes when I open up the neutral wrapper bar,
you know, whenever we get all rations on the ship,
I sometimes like to know what's in the wrapper.
You know, I like to make little guesses,
but sometimes it's nice to know what's in my wrapper bar.
Where is this going?
Roos is trying to allude that,
do we want to go talk to the people on the top right,
try to get more information of what actually is in it
instead of just on one guy's assumption?
Yeah, we absolutely do.
This rattling told us it's a space marine chapter, Master.
Obviously, this is true.
Okay.
I believe anything that a rattling tells me.
It's not that we are slavishly believing
the word of Rocco the rattling.
It's that Alden kind of cares a little what's in it,
but that's not really the problem.
But yeah, you know what?
I think you raised a good point.
We should talk to every group of NPCs,
even ones with no art that are just Aquilas.
Yeah, unfortunately, this module,
it's not the fault of like,
it's not to them being unimportant.
And this module is not set up the best.
There's some characters that need art, so.
I'm sure they tried their best.
All right.
You raise a fair point, Roos.
I never understood how you could be so canny
without the bonehead upgrade.
Have you been upgraded?
I run from the mesh,
and he taps his commissar, his orb.
Ah, that's right.
You carry alien artifacts with you.
He's not an alien.
Of course not.
Of course not.
Well, in either case, yes, it is quite wise.
Let us speak to the aftercares briefly.
Hopefully by the time we finish,
Aloysius will have our escape planned,
and we can make our move.
We cut back,
we cut back to Aloysius
and the sound of a 56k modem.
The dial-up mode connection modem
of the handshaking noise
pisses me off to this day.
I hate that song.
That's like a World War II, like,
grayscale thing.
Yeah, a hundred percent.
Especially when someone calls your home.
I was just about to say,
there's nothing worse than,
no, being online,
but then someone calls.
And you're like, no!
I'm trying to fizz for fucking sharks and runescape,
and now you think it's important to say hi to me?
Fuck off.
You bastard bastard.
Ah, all these modems are out of date.
These machine spirits haven't been tended to in millennia.
Hello there!
Hello?
Who am I speaking with?
Hi!
I'm the operator.
Uh, operator.
Where are you, operator?
Are you on this station,
or are you in orbit?
Well,
I'm in a box room.
Oh, oh.
Throne, damn you.
Okay, operator.
Can you connect my Vox Relay
to the ship in orbit,
callsign Bird of Paradise?
The Bird of Paradise.
Let me look it up here.
Come on, everybody.
Oh, boy.
I'm trying to find it.
It's a big ship.
It's very flamboyant.
Look, look, don't rush me, sir.
Sir, please, don't rush me.
There's a lot of ships in orbit.
I'm not rushing you.
You are.
You are.
It's just, just hold on.
Just hold on.
I apologize.
Guys, my toe is not cozening.
It's not really,
it's not the kind of voice you know
to, like, encourage you.
It's just kind of how my voice is modulated.
It's a sword-class frigate,
if it helps.
It's a conquest-class star galley.
I'm going to filter my sword-class.
You fool!
I only say it every session.
Literally every time.
Was it an Acheron class?
Acheron, please.
Oh, and a good conquest.
One of those three.
Acheron, okay, y'all.
Let me look in here.
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm...
Emperor Excel is just taking a moment.
It's chugging a bit.
Give me, give me a second.
Yeah, I can tell.
It doesn't seem like this,
they've paid a lot to upgrade your systems here.
Um, well, speaking of upgrading systems,
um, you know, while we're waiting here,
you know, um, there are some,
some new MIU links
that have just been made available,
and if you're interested,
we could adjust your package
so, um, you could have those on your plan.
I, I don't have any plans.
I'm, I'm a member of the Mechanicus.
I don't have any additional plans.
It's just part of the no-sphere, you know.
No, that's part of the problem,
then we have to get you on a plan.
I'm telling you right now,
I have Imperial authority
to do whatever the hell I want.
You can't see it,
but I'm holding up the card
that says I can do what I want.
They pay for my plan.
It's part of, it's a work benefit.
Oh, okay, okay.
Um, uh, was it the Avian of Nirvana?
Was that it?
No, no, it was the Bird of Paradise.
That's a common misconception.
You're sure?
I'm certain that was it.
And it was an Acheron sword friggin'.
No, I, I don't think it was a,
it might have been a Conquest
class Stargallion, I think.
I forget.
Oh, oh, I think I found it here.
Oh, look at that.
Well, that's not good.
What do you mean that's not good?
Oh, no.
Well, it's, huh.
It's, it's, it's, well, it's docked
in one of the space forts
above the Forge World
that it wasn't authorized to.
Yes, it's because we have
Imperial authority to dock there
for a brief supply run.
We'll call down to the planet.
Looks like they're installing
a gun on it.
We didn't have the money
for a gun before.
No, we were offered a reward
for the gun, so.
Oh, wow, they just put it on
in advance.
Yeah, I guess they have
a lot of faith in us
that it's automatically
getting put on.
Damn, that's crazy
considering we're going to
steal their payload.
Anyway.
Oh.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, yeah, it looks here.
For, um, uh, Captain
Oh, Wadge?
Captain what?
Captain Wadge put in the request
for a big gun.
Oh.
Aloysius opens up
his wrist-mounted monitor
and keeps thumbing in dials
to drive the nail in further.
Good old Captain Wadge.
Yeah, good old Wadge.
Good old Wadge.
Good old Captain Wadge.
This is a fucking Bertram 2.0.
No, there's just been
a ship name request
going through.
Looks like it's going to be
called the Squig of Gork now.
Oh, my God.
Oh, he's going to
fucking kill me.
Yeah, he is!
Aloysius thumbs at his
arm panel again, like,
oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Gotta kill that.
Sweat.
Sweat just coming down.
Gotta kill that.
All right, sir.
Now that I've found
the ship,
was there anything else
I could help you with
today?
Put me through
to their VOG system.
Also, do you have...
I need you to put me
through a private line
to another...
Is there a space marine?
Is there an
Absolvers chapter fleet
in orbit?
Uh, no.
No, no Absolvers
are on the Forge world
right now.
Fuck, that's awesome.
Popular, um...
But, okay, so you
want me to patch you
through?
Yes, pass me through.
I'll probably be back
on the phone with you
shortly.
Oh, okay, but before
then, since we're ending
this call, um, would you
like to partake in a little
survey about my service?
Yes, I'll partake in a
survey about your
service.
Oh, thank you very much.
We'll get you patched
over in just a sec.
So, my first question is
one out of five
thrones...
Why did you say yes?
Five, five, five, five,
five, five, five, five,
five.
Well, according to the
Magos, anything less than
a six isn't really good,
sir.
That is such a Magos
thing, though, isn't it?
What's the highest scale
that you have?
Is it six?
Does it go to ten?
Is it more?
I'm gonna need you to
calm down, sir, just for a
moment, and I'm gonna
explain.
This is my eager voice.
I'm perfectly calm.
Okay, okay.
So, if you're really
satisfied, that's a five.
If you think I did
exceptional, that is
a six.
And if you want
to be converted
into a servitor
to assist me,
that's a seven.
Six.
I guess I'll have to
take it.
Thank you very much.
There's, like, a static
cut.
Yeah, hello there.
Why are you on the
comms system?
Well, you see, I am
the comms system.
What do you mean,
the comms system?
I unplugged literally
everything in the lab
into your brain.
Why are you on the
comms?
I guess Mark just
decided this is how
it's gonna be.
Of course.
I'm a ship now, I
is.
You're not...
You and I are going
to have a very stern
talking to once I get
back to your body.
Oh, that's the thing.
I don't got snowboarding
anymore.
You crushed it.
Oh.
Oh, right.
I hadn't finished
building it yet.
If you hadn't tried
to take over the lab,
this wouldn't have
happened.
Well, that's just
Mark's cut in for you.
Get you in all
sorts of places.
I can't wait to see
you again once I got
my new gun.
I had to get a bunch
of things removed
to get this installed.
What do you mean
you had to get a bunch
of things removed?
Well, that was all
that fancy on the
front of the ship.
And that just
blocked the shooting.
Speaker, you can
have another hero
point for me.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No, I really do
appreciate it.
No, this is beautiful.
This is excellent.
Yeah.
It occurs to me
that I have not...
You don't have a name,
do you?
Um, for all intents
and purposes, I'm going
to call you Slime
Tony.
Slime, I'm going
to need you to get
that prowl back on
that ship where I'm...
Neither one of us
is going to survive
the return.
That's not how
this works, you see.
I'm the squig of
gork now.
But don't worry.
We's going to talk
real soon.
Click.
Oh my god.
There's like this
deafening silence
that follows as
Aloysius is left
with his thoughts
for a moment.
Everything's for
a secret mechanism.
Everything's for that,
even for the Inquisition.
And then there is
a crackle of the Vox.
Hello?
You said we need
to talk again.
Connect me to the
Inquisition.
Whoa, the Inquisition?
Okay, I can help
you with that, but...
Sorry.
I'm expecting this.
Oh, Inquisition?
Oh, okay, Big Shot,
whatever you say.
It's going to take
me a while.
I'm going to have
to talk to my
manager about that.
Aloysius flashes
the Inquisition symbol.
Where?
Does it have
an ocular import?
No!
Fine!
The fucking...
The service key!
He plugs it into the...
I'm chipping in!
I'm chipping in!
You're jacking in?
Okay, okay, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow!
Inquisitorial override
Alpha Gamma 5-2.
Put me through
to the nearest
Inquisitor Lord.
I've never seen
this before.
You're right,
and if you're lucky,
you'll never see it again.
An Inquisitorial override,
and you don't even
have a plan!
We gotta fix that!
We gotta get you
on a plan!
I will put you
on a servitor
maintenance plan
if you don't
connect me through.
My Inquisitor Lord
will be more than
happy to assist
in putting you
on that plan.
Now please,
for both of our sakes,
put me through.
All right,
I'm gonna put you
through,
and we'll find out
what happens
after the break.
This is excellent.
Whoop!
Loisus is having
a really bad
phone call.
He sure is!
Aloisus,
you've finished
your phone call.
Your phone call
is over.
My phone call
is over.
Your watch
is over.
Yeah.
So,
you can return
to the group now.
Exactly what you
discussed with
the Inquisition,
I'll let you keep
as a narrative
declarationable card
for later.
Good to know.
Where's my team?
Yeah,
you can return
to your team now
and report on
how things went.
I'm sure,
I'm sure they'll
love to know.
Hmm.
Well,
I have some
good news
and some
less than
good news.
Ah,
Loisus.
Well,
tell me what
happened.
I'm sure you
only did your
best.
So,
here's
the good
news.
Actually,
what would you
prefer?
Do you prefer
the good news
or the bad
news first?
Yeah,
I don't know
how you'd
fuck up
a phone call.
You don't
say a fucking
word,
big man.
Come on,
be nice to him.
No,
I'll take the
hat next time
he's given
the hat
and I'll
become the
fact of
captain
that time.
Oh,
please,
please.
We've been
so cruel
to you,
Aloisus.
I believe
you.
They bonded.
They drink
bonded.
You may
have made
some missteps
and so have
I.
We've all
made missteps
and quite
frankly,
all of that
trouble
behind us
is water
under the
bridge.
Now,
I trust
you to
use your
judgment.
You are
on my
bridge council
for a reason
and I'm
lucky to have
crossed paths
with you.
So,
why don't
you tell
me
the bad
news first?
Okay,
so,
the bad
news.
There's a
new macro
cannon on
the bird
of paradise.
that's not
bad news
at all.
I have
that
installed
on by
the
arch
magos.
Are they
raising a
stink about
it?
No.
The front
prow, I
believe,
is missing
in some
capacity.
The ornamented
bits.
If I'm
told that is
where it's
being installed,
they took
off the
prowl.
Yeah.
What are
they
putting it
back?
I don't
know that,
actually.
And also,
apparently,
there's been a
requisition order
that has gone
out.
And
let's just
say there is
an incursion
on the ship.
An
incursion on
the ship?
Yes.
What, uh,
what?
My ship is
being attacked.
I
wouldn't say
attacked in
the conventional
sense.
There's not,
you know,
riots or
aborting
action,
things of that
nature.
It's, um,
ooh,
how do I
put this?
You are
dancing around
the problem.
I wish to
know what it
is directly.
It's a
green problem.
All then
looks
at
Aloysus.
Congratulations,
Captain,
on being the
new pilot
of the
Squig of
Gork.
Elrana's,
like,
fighting
laughter.
Aloysus.
I
told you
not to
bring
the
orc
on my
ship!
And I
started
strangling
it,
like,
over
the
ship!
I know,
I know!
I told you,
damn you,
you mechanical
bastard!
I want you!
I knew something
like this would
happen and
it's happening
to my ship!
I don't know
you're something
to ship!
Just wait a second!
I drop him!
I have to
say it was
admittedly there
was some
misjudgment
over the
orc's
psychic
potency.
A bit!
Yes,
a bit!
They renamed
my ship!
Somehow it
has gained
access to the
comm system
and the
requisition
terminals.
I don't know
how it
happened.
It is away
from literally
everything in
the lab.
but it
has done
that and
it is now
calling itself
the ship.
I don't think
it thinks
it's the
captain so
to speak
but it
definitely
has made
a rename
request.
Point being
we have a
lot to discuss
me in the
head.
I should have
put more
hydraulic elements
on it.
I think I
might have
made it
smarter.
or I
don't know.
I would
rather be
drowning
grots
on a
deserted
island
than
oh my
god!
Okay.
Alright.
I'm going
to fix it
captain.
I promise
you I'm
going to
fix it
once we
get back
to the
ship.
Aloysius,
you're
right.
But
I'm
still a
captain.
It's
true.
This
orc
situation
is
unfortunate
but
many of
the things
I've said
previously
still
stand.
I must
be a
leader.
I must
not allow
my emotions
to get the
better of me.
I must
remain
cool
and
calm
and
disciplined
and
you
son of
a
bitch
bastard
what did
you do
to my
ship?
You
bastard
strickling
him a
kick.
We'll
take Alden
and lift
him up.
He's still
choking me.
And another
hand
and pull
the voices
away.
You two
need to
start
fighting.
You're
making us
not silly
in front
of the
heretics.
Yes.
Yes,
you're
right.
Aloysius,
I'm
sorry.
I'm
sorry.
I will
choke you
again to
there.
Bruce
shakes
Alden
so he
can say
sorry,
right?
Go ahead.
Say it
right.
Listen,
the man
put an
orc in
charge of
my ship.
I'm not
going to
call you that.
I didn't
put it in
charge of
your ship.
It did
it on
its own
accord.
Okay.
The orc.
Aloysius.
I'm
not
ma...
That's
not true.
It's
okay.
I can
see your
cortisol levels
are spiking.
I know
you're
apoplectic
right now.
You should
probably
calm down.
I can't
fix you
if you
have a
stroke.
I am
going to
have a
stroke.
That's
already
something I've
accepted.
Regardless,
regardless,
that's not
the problem
here.
we can
solve
this
problem.
You are
still a
brilliant
tech priest.
I
will...
We
will
hold
fast.
We
will
hold
fast.
As
you say
those
exact
words...
Oh,
no.
There is
something
coming
from the
stage of
the auction.
it is
a
frantic
oh,
no.
Oh,
no.
Oh,
no.
From the
attending
tech
adept.
Oh,
that can
only be
good.
That's
the
canticle
of great
success,
I'll have
to know.
They say
that when
they're
happy,
yes?
Yes,
they say
that when
we're
very,
very
happy.
That
means
something
is
about
to
go
so
horribly
right
that
we're
going
to be
famous
and
have
data
cookies
forever
because
we've
done
such a
good
job.
I want
to believe
you so
badly.
I want
to believe
me too,
captain.
All right,
let's go
see what
the latest
travesty
is.
There's
like a
gaggle
of these
tech
gangers
that are
in the
way.
Yeah,
I'm going
to,
I'm just
going to
march
forward.
Uh-huh.
Going to
get up to
here.
Excuse me,
pardon me.
What are
you doing?
There's
where
they go.
What?
Don't.
Give me
an
intimidation
difficulty
five.
Yeah,
absolutely.
Do you
guys
mind if
I use
her
one
glory
on
this?
Oh,
sure.
Can I
help
the
analytics
by also
looking
super
intimidating?
Uh-huh.
Yeah,
we're
full on
glory.
Yeah,
you have
to use
that.
Yeah,
I don't
update the
thing in
the thing.
Yeah,
don't worry
about the
bottom.
Yeah.
One,
two,
three,
four.
You got
six.
And
you can
roll first.
You can
roll first,
then wrath,
then glory.
So,
okay,
let's
rock then.
Rolling
first,
difficulty
five,
you said?
Five.
Excellent.
That's
four successes.
Nice.
Yeah,
I'm going to
steal three,
if that's
okay.
I think
that's
statistically
good.
Yeah,
that's
fine.
Gives
me
decent
odds.
All
right.
Roll
three
d6.
And
that is
going to
be
one
more
success
for
five.
Okay,
it's
enough
for you
to
part
the
way
of
some
of
these
tech
gangers
who
start
to
move
out
of
the
way
more
confused
than
anything,
giving
you
a
path
to
reach
the
adept
up
here.
Thank
you.
Like
going
around
the
stasis
you
Oh,
no,
oh,
oh,
this is
oh,
oh,
no,
oh,
oh,
please,
please calm
down.
Oh,
don't do
it.
Oh,
no.
What is
the major
malfunction?
I think
he's waking
up.
I think
he's waking
up.
I look
inside of
the stasis
crypt.
Is there
a space
marine in
the stasis
crypt?
There is
a large
figure.
Do you
want to
give me
an awareness
test?
Difficulty
is five.
Excellent.
How bad
could it
be?
That's
two
successes.
Okay.
I'm not
going to
do anything
to that.
Okay.
It's
big.
I'm
going to
look at
the tech
adept.
Is that
a space
marine in
that box?
It's
the
inhabitant
of the
stasis
crypt.
So,
so tired.
Just like
me, but
I must
keep it
going.
I haven't
slept in
years.
Oh.
I get
the feeling
that this
problem will
soon take
care of
itself.
I commend
your soul
to the
emperor.
I'm going
to put
distance
between
myself and
the
stasis
crypt.
It looks
like it's
about to
break,
Aloysus.
If you
want to
fix it,
try it.
If you
don't,
let's get
the hell
out of
here.
I might
be able
to assist
with that.
Excellent.
The
powers that
be, the
motor
forces denied
me access
to the
stairs.
I cannot
proceed.
Go down
then right.
Oh, it's
a hidden
path.
I love
them.
Yes, these
stairs go
up.
These
stairs do
this escalation
does rise.
to kind
of like be
in support
of Aloysus,
even though he
can't really
do much.
He just
doesn't want
to leave
you alone.
Thank you,
I appreciate
the emotional
support.
Do you
want to
give me
an awareness
test to
look at
the tank?
Sure, sure
do, dude.
Difficulty five.
Yeah.
Okay.
I see what's
inside.
What the fuck
is happening?
All right.
All right.
There is a
large
ogre
like,
though far
more refined
than the ogren
you have
form in there.
um, it
it appears
to be a
you know,
like a
humanoid
thing, uh,
it is
wearing
some kind
of, um,
some kind
of equipment.
It's hard
to see.
Um, in
fact, it
looks to be
armor of
some kind,
like very
thick armor.
Um, there
is a floating
like head.
It looks like
it's unhelmeted.
Um, but with
your shift
that you can
use there,
which I'm
assuming you're
using to get
the best
details possible.
I would like
to do so.
Yeah.
Um, it
has for, for
a moment, it
seems like it
has, um,
like the
stub of a
horn protruding
from its
head.
Oh, no.
He's going
to wake up
soon.
I've been
trying to
keep him
asleep.
I've been
trying so
hard, but
I haven't
slept in
years, and
then they
unplugged
it.
It's running
out of
power.
There's
nothing I
can do.
What?
Clearly
you're inferior
to design.
Let me
fix this.
Uh, I
need to
try and
fix this,
because what's
in there
does not
and should
not come
out.
Okay.
Okay.
can I
attempt to
adjust?
Surely
the, the
Freon
coils or
whatever
imperial
equivalent of
Freon is
keeping this
stasis script
active are
malfunctioning.
Surely I can
fix this and
reroute the
power from the
station to
juice up this
pod.
Uh, yeah,
you can give
me a tech
test, I
should say.
Okay.
Um,
the difficulty
on this tech
test, this
is a nine.
Oh.
Okay.
So, I'm
gonna roll
this one.
Uh-huh.
I may need
the remaining
glory.
It is
yours, my
friend.
Yeah, roll it
for us to see
if you need a
wrath.
Oh, yeah.
Come on, then.
Do what you
got.
Never mind.
I'm fucking
cracked,
apparently.
Holy
successes and
a crit.
Oh, my
God.
Holy
shit.
I'm the
Messiah.
Witness me.
Damn.
Oh,
ho.
The
mechanism
sings
today.
If you
can shift,
you know,
get a better
result, too.
I will shift.
We do have
three glory.
Would we rather
have more glory
or just take the
shift?
I think we'll have
five.
Shift it.
Shift it.
Okay, no,
we're shifting
this.
Shift it.
Okay.
You manage to
find that there's
a backup power
unit that you
quickly turn on.
As it clicks on,
you can see that
the stasis crypt
is holding steady
now.
Oh, very
good.
Oh.
Aloysius will
quickly turn,
panic,
still,
and grab the
adept by their
neck and pull
them.
Ah!
You listen to
you and you
listen very
closely.
I haven't slept
in years.
I don't care if
you haven't slept
in years.
You'll never sleep
again if you do
not answer
plainly.
Why do you
have a traitor
of Starkey's
in that crypt?
What do you
mean?
He's not a
traitor.
He's my
friend.
What do you
mean he's
your friend?
He's influenced
by the funny
people.
He's the
only one
who ever
talks to
me.
My friend,
you are,
you think,
you are
abandoned
by the
Omnissiah?
I've been
alone for
years.
I haven't
slept.
But then he
started talking
to me, I
think, after
the first few
months.
Thurston?
Yeah?
I would
like to roll
Intimidation.
Okay.
To give this
adept a
crisis of
faith.
Okay, do
it up.
Difficulty
6.
Difficulty
6?
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Intimidation.
He's devoted
to his box.
Difficulty
6.
3
successes.
I'm going
to wrap
this.
Okay.
Wrath
point.
Wrath
point.
Wrath
it.
Ooh.
4 successes.
I need
2 more.
Do you
want to dump
the glory?
Yes.
Can I
dump the glory?
You are
allowed to.
Yeah.
I'm
dumping the glory.
3 or 2.
2.
Uh.
I need
2 more.
I need
2 more.
2, 3.
But I don't
feel confident.
Don't do it.
Fuck it.
Do a big,
make it nasty.
You might get a crit or something.
There you go.
2, 6 is
over 5.
Fuck yeah.
I want you to listen
to me very carefully.
You are abandoning
every canticle
you are sworn to
for your miserable
binary life.
You will disappoint
the Omnisiah
in ways you could not
reckon.
I will bring you
before him.
I will
break you
before his
might.
You are
consorting
with heretical
powers.
This is your
one chance
as
its
emissary
to redeem
yourself.
I will
return you to
the motive force
myself if you
choose not to.
I, uh, I, I,
oh, I, ooh.
He has that, like,
moment of, like,
you know, you serve
butter, but for a
tech priest, my
god, um, as he
realizes what his
life has been.
I can bring you to
a higher calling.
There is a task
that I can use you
for.
You must return
to our fault,
disciple.
Okay.
Sure, dog.
All right, man.
Okay.
Come on, dude.
We have another
problem.
The agents of the
Ruinous Powers are
here.
We need to do
whatever we can do
to keep this crypt
from powering
down.
Bruce sees all the
tech kickers start
moving up, and
Bruce stands in front
of the stasis
chamber, and as he
looks at it, Lois
says, and he shakes
his head no, as he
gets his ripper gun
right, he's like,
uh-uh.
You make it
closer to this
thing.
Oh, shit.
All right,
Captain, we should
probably get in
position.
I'm going to call
out, Rocco!
Now would be an
excellent time!
And I'm going to
ready up my
hotshot, Laz.
You want to run
to cover?
Uh, yeah, that's
also a good idea.
Um, I'm going to
probably get over to
here.
Dearest tech
adepts and
disciples of the
Omnissiah, children
one and all, I am
so happy that you
chose to attend my
sermon today.
Who would like to
take the first
action in this
combat?
Ooh, I think
a witness has earned
it if he wants it.
I have bombs.
Uh, I got, I got
flashbang.
Who would like to
go first in this
combat?
Don't.
Narratively, I agree
with speaker.
I'll, Lois's, Lois's
should go first.
Narratively, I agree
with you.
I, I would like to
propose a hot potato
for you, Zoran.
Yeah.
I'm going to serve
you a bit.
Okay.
I'll see if I do
well.
Children and
disciples alike, you
and your canticles
should be intimated.
perhaps you are
familiar with
Saint Newton
and one of the
laws of
thermodynamics.
What?
For every action,
there is an equal
and opposite reaction.
Tkink.
For example.
Get off of our
stage, egghead.
Throws frag bomb.
Right in front of
all of these tech
gang.
Please, please drop
the template.
All right.
All right.
It's been a while
since we've done
this.
Blast 16.
So let me go get
that mission for
you.
I don't think it's
that far.
Which grade is it?
Is it a frag
grenade?
No, this is a
frag bomb.
Because Ogren's
get the big thing uh their thing is range 10 so well it says range 10 i feel like i'm doing
something wrong let's see uh a blast eight yeah thank you it's range is two two times your
strength yeah that's for throwing it just for the blast yeah i apologize the blast is eight
thank you yeah i would have the rule book open on this time but i got like a lot of stuff going on
you are fine oh thank you for the assistance i apologize we're in a bad player um okay so
basically i'll try to do it all in the middle here we're just going to get like everybody
but we all know how this is going to go um like bruce goes eat the dick woosh and he throws this
thing um let's see if i can get some
cool stuff hold up cool we're in we're in battle mode now obviously you know post-production we
should already have like awesome battle music going i think this is something
yeah but now all right frag bomb goes down uh so basically if i remember right difficulty three
ballistic skill thank you
i'm gonna do frag bomb here we go
that is a three for you thurston that'll hit all right so based on the size of it because it's um
a blast rating of eight uh that means you hit four targets so you are just going to eviscerate
four members of every mob nice that's pretty good yes people are like torn apart uh for
the not mobs do you want to roll damage that would hit they're all mobs the heretic person in the
uh they are all part of the same mob okay yeah i if you if you notice um if you look at like the
initiative tracker i just am using the leader as the mob representative but they're all part of a
mob together okay yeah i don't look at this is warhammer yeah yeah this is uh this is warhammer
fourth edition rules where the squad tanks everything okay yeah the roost roost follows uh
a voice is his design as you're making a grand speech boom like like tons of bodies fly like
just one of the frag bombs just wipes just bodies out of the room there's still a chunk of people
left but like just just one bob just eviscerates people um bruce obviously ratings himself and that's
since i took the turn uh roost isn't uh for that's an action i can't use the my move thing to do like
defend myself of all the stuff that's coming in uh something roost can really do is wait i don't
think he can ready to dodge i don't think so so that's it i can do whoever wants to go next okay uh
i'll um i'll spend a glory and interrupt if i can have no glory left i won't do that at all
i lied i'm gonna i'm gonna have this uh rogue psyker go and see everything uh i am going to um
uh i'm gonna spend a personal rune so don't mark me down um and they're going yeah good they're
going to use a psychic power i shit myself yes you should uh because it's gonna be targeting you
um let's see here we're targeting roost don't target me you know i have the weak road
they don't know i have a weak road and maybe they think i'm a strong wheel boy
well you know um so what's your defense what's your defense uh my defense
proudly uh a three a three and through all the other people uh it should go up by like a lot
you get the plus one for cover that's cool yeah yeah yeah uh oh i get two bonus wrath die equal to
the tier of the game so that's cool um okay so i'll give you four here not 43 your difficulty's
not 43 okay i'm gonna i'm gonna roll this psychic power
that's not gonna be good
they sure did this might not be good for anyone involved
all right god man three wrath die hey see oh that's how you unbound by the way
yeah get good oh thank you thank you thank you
uh uh uh uh oh god okay okay okay wait wait we're gonna do the funny thing next because this
comes in layers this for podcast people their difficulty was four they succeeded with a four
but they've complicated twice which means instead of just on the normal complication table
they're going to the next tier so may i attempt to deny the witch
uh i honestly you shouldn't because uh funny things true probably about to hear
well so for what they're doing is a fraternal gaze which basically means you don't know that
exactly i don't know yeah you don't know that well yeah i don't think it stops the complication if i
remember right um you'll probably have to re-deny the witch to me but what happened what happens for
that uh i'm sorry if you already know i'm just burping it to you oh yeah i've got i've got it uh uh
pulled up um yeah the dn is plus two uh
yeah it doesn't say anything about that
uh about like negating complications or anything so i imagine it would be
it would still it would still happen if you if yeah yeah but also if you deny it you get no and
if you deny it you get no action like that eats your action yeah it will eat my action uh up to
i um well i don't think my psychic power is incredibly valuable for next turn so i'm going
to go ahead and deny it okay i'm gonna do my best to deny the witch yeah so it's going to be difficulty
six indeed um oh uh yeah okay uh you said my dna six yes sorry i was getting error windows oh you're
good you're good uh just barely make it nice okay so this is like crackling energy starts up and you go to
deny it and then uh i'm gonna roll the barrels
uh but anyone within the watching an overwhelming paranoia of something watching creeps over you and
everyone within 20 meters illicit creatures and animals cower in fear while sentient creatures must
make a successful d and four willpower test or suffer an uncontrollable compunction compunction to
second guess all their actions they are hindered to this effect last for the remainder of the scene
that is going to be everyone don't roll because you guys have to pick the order in which you're
rolling because you can't just like use wrath and glory and shit like you know for the winners you have
to pick the order indeed all right um i'll start us off because i've got the highest willpower i think
i can get me out of the way because my turn's already done oh true if anyone needs to fix me
after so i might as well just i'm gonna lose anyway yeah go for it yeah um okay not bad
that was that was that was the rogue cycle you succeeded oh never mind no no no that's the wrong
one i'm rolling i'm rolling the other ones right now oh i see
okay all right all right i'll wait till you finish then thurston
i'm not gonna spend a rune point on that beautiful that'll pass uh i'll do lynn and rocko
cool they're gonna be hindered and i'll do these tech games
okay interesting uh so i'll get the point of rune back which is neat uh but they'll still fit
them so hindered uh these guys are hindered and lynn and his crew
okay all right looking for four oh you got a little power of dm3
how bad could it be get them double sixes let's go didn't get a single success okay
now now chat how much faith do you have in roots type one if you have any faith in roots at all
give me give him your power chat charge up a spirit bomb do you have to give me your power
you gotta do that like little man the guy there's like the slash and then like the o and like the
slash and now you have to give me some power some power in any way shape or form look it's that famous
man guy yeah that's what they call him i gotta spin we gotta spin around because we know ruse can
make it through this we know he is a brave boy uh-huh we know he can make it i do believe in ogrens i do
i do i do i do i do believe in ogrens we can't do this we can't do this
i spend a wrath and only got like one additional success and never really do anything oh wow well
we tried everybody yeah we all can't be winners yeah get hindered no sorry
all right that's my right people can start doing theirs whoever next wants to go i think kill ron
i want to go next i'll take the next napkin uh dn4
okay
almost god um i'll go ahead and wrap that i think it's worth it sure
damn it i rolled literally the exact same number on the dice oh no
so you two are hindered damn it this is hindered too by the way it just lets me apply like ouch
don't worry everyone i alden rosh will surely succeed this all right alden rosh absolutely
where the hell is my willpower it's uh in your main skills the top bar attributes top our attribute
oh yes there it is okay yes a difficulty uh four you said yes yes very good
that's four successes over the proverbial reach nice like how you're just like
fuck everyone else i'm good uh don't worry everyone i am fine he became mad berry again
yeah it's fine thurston did the tech gangers actually pass their tests because they only got
three no no they got a point they they have the hindered condition i put it on the oh okay my bad
it's just they got the crit effect so they got a point of burn yeah i see yeah yeah right i will roll
you my willpower which i can i'm not going to spend i'm not going to reroll one way or the other
i fail okay that's true but i have to make a narrative declaration later so i have to save it
uh boy
unless you want me to do you want to do it do you want to do it you want to not be minus two on
all of your skill checks for the rest of this encounter oh that's right all tests not even skill
tests all tests would it be all tasks would it be possible for me to make this condition fall off
of them with a browsing leadership check uh well let's read up on leadership what does leadership
say speaker because i think i might just wrap it well let me go and check yeah you can remove
a condition such as hindered ooh but i've but it's hindered two does that matter or or is it would
have just reduced to hindered one it's three or equal to the penalty um if your target is
oh that that's sorry that's medicaid oh yeah because it's it removes oh yeah it's not it's not
it's not covered by god read the rules sometime yeah i know i know i know i heard over the other
thing ridiculous oh man i saw remove a condition i was like oh that's under medicaid so no you can't
do anything okay okay i can do that though i can i can fix everything um are you are you gonna do it
or not i'm i'm gonna i'm gonna wrap it so i can fix my right yeah fix yourself it's probably not gonna
work but we'll find out yeah you'll be fine oh damn oof guess well guess not you roll the two for
context of podcast yes i rolled the two it's fishing for icons but no dice sag the guy in the car
going what are you wrong slamming on the steering wheel god okay so that was um the rogue psykers go
as like this this warp effect like flashes out towards roost but is dispelled um by kelrana which
then just like causes everyone in here to get this terrifying paranoia everything is now like
reached a boil uh guns are being drawn some people oddly enough the heretics are fine with this but
everyone else is pretty pretty upset minus the captain who wants to go next i suppose the captain could take
the lead i agree all right let's clear a path between these noxious individuals um i am going to uh
wind up my hot shot volley gun and i'm going to let lose a laser death upon this crowd laser death yeah and
uh i'm going to go ahead and uh absolutely uh and i'm going to go ahead and uh i'm going to aim
uh and at short range and i'm gonna uh use my salvo trait and i believe the salvo for this weapon
is going pew pew or if i'm not mistaken um so i don't add that to anything i'm trying to hit as
many as possible uh remind me again does that matter when i'm firing into a crowd
uh no okay great great great great great all right it's basically you're going to shoot them
and then for every point above their defense you are you hit another roger roger uh difficulty number
uh if you target them it will auto calc it okay sorry all right for the emperor
um that is going to be uh three successes don't lose your ammo again dude um please don't lose your
ammo i'm gonna oh you have two wrath die so you can spare i have two wrath okay in that case i will
use a wrath and i will reroll the failed uh stay for the complication that's much better that's six
successes with one okay yeah okay i will shift that into a wrath i'm okay remember if you you can't
shift into a wrath you can shift it into a glory if you want but remember each one of but like if
you take the shift you lose two to the result which means you hit two less guys all right yeah never
mind i'm gonna hit as many as i can yeah my mistake i meant glory instead of wrath yeah um okay all
right cool cool uh should i roll damage first or complication first uh i don't have to worry about
damage because you're just gonna kill them with this damage roll so i'm going to just get a roll
complication roger roger fall prone my attack causes me to slip and i fall prone yes
reading your novel presumably uh some of the viscera some arm falls off and knocks me in the stomach
or i slip on a pile of blood or a pile of blood a puddle of blood is where
pile but that's a lot i've seen piles of blood before i've seen what you wouldn't believe
it's a big pile of blood
all right and uh that is my turn okay i'm gonna mark you this little prone prone here
a little prone friend cool all right uh then i get to pick okay well
can we go with these tech gangers
they all moved am i blind uh yeah yeah yeah i removed five of them yeah remember there were like
20 of them to start so you've like gunned down several people here or blown them up and or both
let me know if i'm saying like because i can't look at it i'm like i don't think anyone left
uh they're gonna they're gonna pull guns and shoot you uh roose oh i imagine it
so one sec this is you're gonna get past me
here's all here it takes oh man one sec this is dumb um i've got to increase the dice pool but i
have any bonus dice is it five extra dice all right
okay
okay um they definitely hit they definitely hit so they're gonna shift the two for damage here uh
so i'm just gonna do that real quick just to try to see if we can ever damage you with this
okay so it's 12 damage to radium pistols yeah okay it's finally gonna hit you with something
hooray i'll determine uh the three i would be taking i believe um yes yeah you would do a determination
that yeah all right i ignore them nice so you'll take their shock yeah because i do two sixes four
and a five i'm going to take the shark
not great i no no no but but you're you're you're getting picked out by them all right um
kelrana you denied so you don't get to go so this has to go to elysis
okay all right elysis you're up uh i'm going to try and medicate myself to remove my condition
mm-hmm that is going to be i'm going to read my little notes that i took down here
just a dn3 or equal to penalty so it's hindered two uh let's see
would that then go up to like a dm4 or five because it's hindered two
uh no no no so it it's three it's three because it's lower than the condition if you were like
hindered five it would be a five yeah i see gotcha all right let me do a quick medicate
one three
the noises why are you messing with needles we got air attacks to kill
uh this is on yourself right yes so it should the difficulty would be five be yeah yeah go do
you included the plus one good good good good um well actually oh wait a sec this is on yourself
are you hindered right now yeah so the difficulty of your test goes up by two so the three goes to a
five and then you increase the difficulty by one because you're doing it on yourself
i see so it's a difficulty six you've got four here yeah any any any adjustments do you do you
have anything else you used your wrath uh do you still have no you got a wrath point you could you
could yeah that is true yeah you had two wrath that was very generous so you're fine oh okay yeah
i will wrap that absolutely yeah do it up do it up oh my god put it i gotta put two on my sheet
because otherwise it won't let me yeah thank you chat yeah we got it we clutched it oh look at that
and you get a glory back put it in the tank nice nice okay so that that'll remove the condition from you
okay you fixed yourself up oh that could have been decidedly worse as you say that um the next person to
go will go amiga will go
he's all going it's all going down i have to wake him up it's the only way uh oh
he starts booping and bopping and pressing buttons i i can't do anything with this one can i
oh oh i thought i thought he was on a redemption arc yeah we did all the effort for him you did you did
you did and as he goes to type he's just not able to crack the code that loises has in his panic and
he's like oh you did really good
what stop doing that you're going to get us killed i'm sorry
uh lynn and rocko go next
uh and they are going to they that their unit is going to fire pistols into the other unit
all right here it comes
auto pistols just go flying look sir they're all nice oh my god oh my god that was awful
oh holy shit with a six and a five and a four but like god like one one one they killed two cultists
with like a fusillade of fire
uh okay well that's gonna bring us to these lovely lads here um
they are going to
make their way over here actually you know what they're gonna make their way over here
to kelrana hey well hold on you want to describe what here is yeah so they're moving up towards
kelrana who's on the opposite side of the um the the platform from the the tech gang or sort of the
corner the corner way that kelrana was standing at the left side of this platform yeah left side
they're they're trying to they're trying to pass to go around towards the stasis crypt it's quite evident
uh as they're coming they only have knives so they're coming in kelrana and like swinging just
some knives at you so this could be a lot worse like you you can tell this is not like
the end of the world um they're going to to hit you i think what's your defense yeah your defense is one
so they are going to hit you and shift once um and they're gonna roll some damage it'll be this plus
one uh you'll take eight uh eight damage so i think that's just one above your resilience yes
so you can um determine i lack the permission to take the damage
oh uh yeah don't worry don't worry about that yeah yeah because you you you would roll determination
first right so oh right put that into shock so yeah
uh determination
okay so i'll take one shock
okay cool all right and that's those guys that's the end of it next round who wants to go first
um i could unless roose wants to no you you go ahead and go let's switch it up a little bit
absolutely seeing my elder companion currently being uh well uh
engaged i'm going to stand up uh-huh take out my power sword okay
okay and i'm going to uh try and charge into combat and hopefully help out my friend
sure
for the emperor you brutes
uh i'm swinging for the cultist mob do it up
all right that is three successes not the best but not so you'll hit two of them so you will you
will kill two of them slashing through two as you approach
fight me if you think you're hot enough i assure you
yeah these these figures have like their their knives out there like swinging at you you come in
you slash through two of them there are about eight left including their leader that are trying to press in
you hear their their heathenous tongues we must we must let it free um that's their go
very good all right well
um i'm gonna go with the knife squad again and i will interrupt with the glory oh okay you're gonna
go with the glory then okay you're gonna go first then okay i'll take that down and roose will uh
uh start topping up people in front of them okay he's like get out of my way and uh he's gonna start
just just carving this is oh man i did not get a good hit on it i'm gonna i kind of want to fish for
more heads yeah i want to do that okay do it okay yeah yeah yeah yourself over you also don't hit
because it's well actually yeah you'll just hit because it's not doing the um yeah it's not doing
the hindered thing right that should be one higher yeah okay what are you uh let me see here hindered
did this oh yeah thanks for not telling me what it does okay i was gonna see if i had anything which
is uh i just catching everything all right we're fine anyway uh i'm gonna go ahead and do breath dive
oh yeah get a whole bunch more that's gonna be eight um oh yeah there you go
so that will be because i don't think it matters but i just want to see what it is anyway um
okay yeah so five more of them
all right that's all the roost does he's just carving through them there's only about like six left out of
like the 20 there were yup versus just like grabbing like throwing a guy grabs one guy by his legs and hit
uses that guy to hit another guy like he stabs someone with a bayonet pulls the trigger which
kills three other guys like he's just like sauron with hobbits like he's going to town
sauron with hobbits damn all right well they're they're swinging knives at captain alden over at the
the left-hand side by kelrana uh come wrong
okay so we're gonna do this uh they're coming at you
knives do they say anything is they stabs oh the yeah yeah so they they're like we have to get in we
have to get it it's the same thing over again as they're just stabbing um they're gonna get a
rathy critical on you which is gonna be done a personal rather you wrath sorry sorry sorry
sorry give me give me give me a second um they are going to first of all they're going to shift
because they get a shift with their success uh because this squad is not hindered um then they've
got uh uh a wrath critical so they're gonna get a critical hit on you um captain alden rush with
their knives as they break through and
unspeakable carnage oh holy shit uh that knife is gonna do four mortal wounds
oh holy as as you are fucking stabbed in the neck by one of these guys in a geyser of blood erupts
from you oh my god a geyser um yeah geyser uh they only do five damage so your armor absorbs it but
those four mortals are just gonna go yeah one guy right through on you yeah so i'll mark you there
yeah you are you are not looking great damn about traitors
a noise says all dead's hurt oh no captain all right who would like to go next
never mind me the crypt is more important like
i got skid before because everything oh yeah yeah i i will take it i will take it
um and backstab captain yeah i just start stabbing him finally it's your time
now i'm from a craft world i'm good i'm nice it's the
um yeah i am going to ooh do i focus on damage or buffing god um i'm definitely gonna
uh i think damage honestly yeah i'm inclined to agree here i'm i'm gonna
okay i'm gonna unbind and i'm gonna smite yeah let's go
oh my last two wounds yeah uh just regular unbind i'm not going uh uh apocalyptic coward sure
damn oh there you go okay uh and i can shift oh i need three shifts to uh yeah
mortal you need you need five because i think yeah yeah yeah roll damage three mortals into the
cultists and that's the ones in front of you right yes the ones in front of me you shave three down
more with the vile electric lightning leaving only five of them left these two groups now really just
gutted on their attempt to get up yeah you want to you want to see a real a real master the empyrean
does it
uh as if on cue to that now that the deny option is denied to your party oh shite
this group's gonna walk up
you know it didn't go well last time yeah so the second group of cultists is rushing up this one
again the the sort of the robed figures they walk in unison uh as they do their sort of lead raises up
a hand once again uh pointing it at roost still um and they are going to unleash uh with another point
of rune they're going to unleash another psychic power on you so um i'm going to do that i don't believe
in magic it doesn't work that's cool your defense is two roost three and four three people four three
people okay i got you i got thank you for that ruse
you know i have a rune point uh oh oh shoot actually wait one second it'll be
complicating no matter what though no i messed this up i will be complicating no matter what uh but one
second uh there's technically two added wrath dice on that that weren't calculated so i'm just gonna roll
yeah if any of these are one it's bad um okay so no it's gonna be one more so it'll succeed but they
complicate um okay let's do perils perils again
so great the first time can we reroll it jaredy got it yeah sure yay let's summon the demon host oh
no it's horfrost uh everything is now coated in frost and difficult terrain and if you get a
complication no matter what you fall prone as ice is radiating out from the stasis crypt the stasis
crypt is blasting out this ice um bruce can you give me a difficulty seven eight nine because you're
you're a hindered willpower test yeah yeah sarah thurston thanks thanks man just watch me just
fucking win this one you know like i love it love it thank you so much man like um you guys you
haven't seen fucking rolling like this all right watch all these sixes i complicate no oh that's
awesome oh so you fall prone that doesn't happen before or after oh no the the chaos yet
it because you know i mean it happened you know and then
well here's the fun thing you you want you want to know the fun thing that's gonna happen
roll a complication uh well yeah you you do so click roll complication we'll do that first
let's go mishap you're clumsy you're tongue-tied you you do or say something you didn't mean to
causing a problem um i guess i tried to like lean on the stasis thing if somehow yes you can't pushed
up i think i'm like oh they just like fall over over all the wires and that's everywhere
and it's all slippery now yep i just like imagine there's like some deactivate button and you just
press it no i'm not gonna coolant yeah yeah you hit the coolant all right so um
so some some good news and some bad news um you fail as well so um i just need to roll a thing give me a
second can i roll this will this work oh sweet oh okay okay okay oh this is perfect oh i love this
all right so only ruse sees this oh everything around begins weeping blood all of the effigies the
statues yeah go ahead oh tears of the martyr all painting statues or equivalent effigies within 100
meters of view begin to weep blood if no such features exist in range then the walls or similar
surfaces begin the drip of blood the bleeding persists for one minute all sentient creatures
that witness this event must make a dn3 fear test give me a fear test god damn it
the best part is is that this psychic power is essentially like roll uh roll a perils of the
warp and only that person can see it so some of them are like don't matter like oh or frost whatever
this one however this one is perfect good one yeah this is a good one mine would be a resolve right
because uh because the hindered hits it yep
well i i rolled a five but i only got one success because i can only roll one die
oh god so now you're feared so now the difficulty of all tests goes up by another two
so i'm i'm down on the ground i'm i'm scared i'm hindered i'm shooting and i'm pissing
i'm in front of a chaos space marine that's been there since the war's heresy
and uh i'm just having a bad time man yeah yeah that's uh that's gonna be that okay aloysis you
want to you want to go now oh
oh boy amiga turns to you we have to let it out it's our only no we don't have to let it out okay
fine but to be like some loyalist space ring chapter that has horns on their helmets it could
be a black dragon yes secretly oh just hello thank you for letting me out i'm the black dragon
hi there hi there this will protect us as he scrawls the eight-pointed star in your flesh
i i don't think so winston black dragon
gregory
i hate this
i got fucked up by the second person so it should be a voice
i i it is thurston
why does it sound like the start of a tedious negotiation halky because it may very well
be thurston i'd like to make a narrative declaration
fuck okay so about that phone call that was had
yep
what about it well on that phone call
aloysis managed to get in touch with the local inquisitor
okay or specifically one inquisitor lord i had the name written down and it's not there it's
irrelevant there is an inquisitor lord that aloysus got in touch with his retinue or possibly even the
lord himself aloysus informed this inquisitorial coterie that there was a possible givora level
ruinous threat aboard this station
either a
possible heretic astartes or
the chapter master of a chapter since lost either way
the ruinous powers were present and they would need extraction
and some either
cleansing battalion
or amnestics for whoever has witnessed this that should not see this
okay okay that's your narrative declaration
that would be okay and that the timing was of the essence
yeah it's fair it's very fair all right one sec
one sec
he did relay the specifics of his squad so they would not be exterminated by inquisitorial agents
you get five enforcers
thank you
and acolyte loxon
there he is
there he is
the guy
that turned the information out of us
but then we spilled the beans
yeah
that's right
five there all right that that that narrative declaration is spent what do you want to
do with your round seeing this now
uh eloysis is going to move up to
oh i don't have movement for that
fuck oh
let's do my check this week real quick
we at least make you start making your way
oh no i can make it to my i'm fine
one two three four
cool
oh you're saying you're never
there to be very soon put that down
move over uh i am going to medicate alden so alden doesn't die instantly maybe that would be a great idea
let me target you and hit you with a medicaid test to treat wounds
shoots you
oh
here we go
need the medic bag
gotta get my stick xp
oh okay so
it's four successes
uh you're still hindered right
no you're not you're fine
uh
uh
seeing restore wound every exalted yeah there's no exalts so
yeah read about medicaid
yeah it says restore wound you get an extra wound back
much obliged
it's the best i can do right now captain get on your feet absolutely only in death does it do the end
visit hell upon them my captain
and that'll be my turn okay awesome awesome
uh
the yeah okay so that's gonna get rid of that for the captain
beautiful okay so just perfect okay um
god the tech gangers are gonna go
poor roose
i'm still standing you're gonna take me down
it's gonna get three bonus dice
they're gonna aim
hey that because it's the difficulty
oh no longer standing
and they're henders
spend a rune point
you could never know what it's like when the stage
group opens freeze just like ice
oh that's that's perfect i can only shift two of them
so
oh yeah 11 successes for podcast listeners
oh yeah 11 successes with three shifts but technically it's too lower so
uh i'm going to shift two for damage because that's important because shifting for damage on rad
weapons does two extra damage each time
no oh
cancer god
and i'll do 11 more points of damage to the prone roots
as he is continually being like shot full of like irradiated bullets by tech gangers
come on leave
gross
uh as as all he sees around him is everything like is bleeding
yeah it's basically just two i gotta worry about
uh yeah
all right determination uh
here we go
yep just two shots so you'll take i'll do that and one shock and i'll take a wound right yep
i'll take a wound but i don't have to worry about being wounded
yeah but you're exhausted right yes okay
because you are you are now out of you are now full up on shock okay
poor ruse he's doing his best
oh
i'm off and he's just kind of swiping them away so when it's more time to act i'm going to
fucking kill you all
and you and you just hear this look don't worry ruse i'm coming all right what are you doing lindon
i'm coming as the the other crew starts rushing towards um they're going to fire with pistols
again maybe this time doing even better than the power of the sun yeah
i don't think we want to invoke that word here yeah no no right now
all right all right they're firing they're firing they're coming up they're firing
god i suck oh my god oh no i suck um but that you know we'll see what the critical is it's funny
he has auto pistols just um
so they headshot a guy that's cool so it'll be two mortal wounds uh with with seven successes
against difficulty of three so four uh plus two so they're gonna kill six from this uh this gang
plus actually the other one they're going so they're coming up and they're tearing into the
rogue psychers unit oh cover ruse um
amiga is going to make a willpower test
amiga is going to complicate on a willpower test oh no
oh oh oh oh no oh oh no the machine spirit complications some technology in the scene
malfunctions oh no come on happy thirst and hillman you're not gonna do it to us are you
after all the work we did
there's a pneumatic hiss from the door oh next round who wants to go first
can i go first yeah take it take it take it close the door thurston can i hold the door
hold the door that's exactly in the position i am right now i know yeah thurston i need to attempt
to reinitialize the ceiling sequence you do difficulty six tech test my friend oh god
oh boy oh yeah okay okay you're fucking left hand you're like okay the door's closed to get
door going starts to seal okay work work we're good we're good the door is sealed i can't do
anything else this turn because i already made a tech test fuck ah good luck ruse okay i'm gonna go
go oh no can i spend a glory to interrupt no we're out of it they're out of it we're out
i'm uh yeah i do uh mark me down a rune point please why would you do that thurston why thurston
well oh because oh sorry what because he says because uh no i'm i'm spending a rune because i
am going to use a psychic power and i need to use it for my own personal pool because i've used the
my own pool because i've used the personal pool of the rogue psyker here so i have to i have to
delve into my own um bag of tricks but you know i'm gonna target the captain i don't even believe in
magic well do you believe in magic in a young girl's heart oh yeah i actually do never mind this
mob this mob reforms and i'm just gonna like reform them so they make sense to what i'm doing
uh because they're all gonna start floating because they're weird you're gonna float up to here
and then uh what's your what's your defense speaker uh it is four because i have my powers
right okay perfect beautiful that's what i that's what i like to hear um this one's gonna come out and
try to touch you as she floats up she's going to get two extra wrath dice on this uh which i will
calculate correctly and her hand comes out to touch you yeah
i am going to fail i'm going to use my last point of rune here
to re-roll this to get a bunch of ones
well i'm gonna complicate so that's even more interesting oh oh no not again might i attempt to
deny the witch the difficulty will be 10 you can do it with no i don't have i don't have any wrath
yes i i i think i yeah i think i think you that's fine i'll take it all right tank it tank it all
right all right all right this is this is this is my favorite this is this is so good you know why this
is so good so good i'm gonna roll the perils of the world first excellent okay okay oh banshee scream
uh uh lesser animals and everything within 25 meters are instantly killed all others suffer three
shock and must make a difficulty three toughness test or are staggered okay this is going to be
important for a few reasons mobs just three people die from every mob okay okay we take those question mark
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah uh roose is going to take three mortal wounds oh oh that's not good
uh i i'll take three shock as well and i already had three shock so yes you'll become exhausted yeah
so you'll become exhausted now because you're out of shock
uh uh then i need uh again picking order from everybody uh who would like to go first to give
me a difficulty three toughness test for roose this will be difficulty seven
roose is having a bad day yeah very bad day oh my god i'll uh i'll go as well
i i i gave it a good college try but i did fail okay so you are staggered i will go after
okay alden or oasis sorry oh what was the dmf had again uh difficulty three i'm sorry three
yeah it for roose it's brutal because he's got all the debuffs you're fine you're hold the door
hold the door um all right kailrana did you want to go
uh whips it okay cool uh roose my friend toughness right toughness what do i need to beat
difficulty seven because it's gonna be um uh difficulty three but then you're hindered still
so five and then you're feared so another two so difficulty seven it's six because i'm getting
dnl tests for hindered one uh it should be hindered too i just it it doesn't let me increase the hindered
value with the condition because this mod is silly yeah let's see it baby
bad i'll try to wrath diet because chat's been very helpful nice chat they need it yeah
so now you're staggered staggered isn't super bad it's just you can't run and your speed is reduced
by half uh and it only lasts until the end of your next turn today is roose's very bad day
yeah it is yes it is well wait oh no oh oh no my friends my friends my friends because that was just
perils that was just the perils of the thing i just did oh the thing that i didn't do anything to
a floating spell or anything so they should also go prone
yeah they didn't cast any flying spell they should be prone
what do you mean what is all the the the complication before everything being on ice
yeah that's true roll a complication you might make the go prone
oh well yeah okay spell or anything to fly or anything so they're touching ground
okay okay so i guess they're all prone sure i'll give it to you i guess i guess psychic powers count
for that that's weird it's not really a complicated it's weird yeah i'll give it to you though sure
sure sure they all fall down it's funny um let's yeah sure uh i get to have a bad day they get to
have a bad day well no speaker speaker's about to have a worse day that is gain a gain a point of
corruption yeah absolutely now roll me a d66 for the second time oh i specialize at that
shit yeah d d6 d66 yep just 60 uh okay okay so you rolled it you the the d66 is weird uh it's not
one d66 it's actually roll 2d6 oh okay let me do that yeah yeah six six and six
so remember last time how you rolled go to the second table quite fondly i remember this sweet
can you um can can you roll yes another two d6 two if you harkonnen i swear to god oh my god
if you harkonnen again just kill me
give me a sec i have to go two tables down um
oh the fuck okay um
uh you gain wings
that's sick as hell you gain you gain enormous wings granting you a wingspan of more than
double your height holy yeah yeah you're an angel oh my god the warp the warp gives you wings
these immense bat like astral starry wings ripping out of the back of this captain's uniform
oh
who would like to go next red thirst gives you wings
uh-huh uh-huh i'll i'll i'll smite the psyker
uh-huh okay okay okay okay so kill rana i am unbound uh-huh uh-huh how would you like to become
transcendent i don't think we've gone that far yet and in fact the captain seems to be doing pretty
okay question yeah yeah the captain's pretty transcendent right now anyways so
so i will just be uh uh uh oh wait here we go there's actually a toggle for unbound
unbound here we go
uh wow wow only two ships though that's that's gonna hit that's gonna hit that sure will roll damage
my damage ah only two mortals
two more disappear as you like begin crackling lightning into the mob
all right captain um this is sick as
fuck are you okay i'm a little busy at the moment okay
all right all right who's next
um hey i just grew wings yeah go for it um can i uh uh oh wait i should go because kill rana just
went oh yeah it's your turn yeah never mind i'm so sorry thirsty i'm gonna have this person come up
and hit you captain i'd be good because leader it'd be scary because i you know if he doesn't i might
do something really cool so you gotta i do i gotta take care of that real quick luckily i'll hit you so
that's pretty cool i'll shift one for damage oh he's got those those bird spikes no he won't hit me
uh oh yeah because because your difficulty four yeah because i heard that yet yeah that's right
well actually no he'll still hit you um but um he'll still hit you because he won't shift then
so he'll the only reason it's lower it should be a five because oh okay okay okay so yeah
um but the brutal will mean that it is only plus two so it's only going to be 10 damage to you
okay 10 damage um i will be reducing it by my armor and my toughness is that right or no it's your
resilience resilience yeah yes resilience so i'll take three um i'm down okay oh so once you are down
to zero um you
you are dying oh no you you have not suffered more than your maximum so you're actually still up
it's the next time you take so yeah the next one you take will put you into dying all right i'll buy
that for a dollar as the as that like cult leader comes up swinging this like chainsaw we must wake it
up we must get so close you can see him coming look the ice he'll soon be free uh and then uh aloysius
you're saying alden it should not be me no no no no coming to you
is the emperor's wrath i'm going to rise up
um now as i am staggered egads let me i i let me let me really quickly re-familiarize myself with some
of these dreadful staggered is only affects your speed so doesn't do anything there um the hindered
that you have um doesn't do anything bad exhausted means you can only take one action uh wounded will
increase the difficulty so you can't aim basically you can take an action very good well then i'll
take the only action that seems sensible i'm going to uh swing my power sword as i rise to my feet
and my wings begin flapping in the stale the stale air of this rustic moon
called odo by the way in case yeah which uh which which were you attacking uh i'm gonna try it
in a psyker or the okay yeah yeah all right all right oh that's five successes uh that is uh that is gonna hit
yeah die you witch
you kill the remaining two
roll damage actually this will matter yeah sure this will matter uh 13 ap minus three
no that's actually enough that will kill the psyker as you tear through and defeat the psyker
slice off the witch's devil's eyes and devil head
uh that's your go that is my go i'm gonna go with the tech gangers over roose
they're gonna no they're gonna aim again
you're gonna they're gonna shoot you roose no
okay okay okay that's not bad it's not bad uh difficulty five so i can only shift
who is
gonna roll damage
okay 11 more damage
goodie babies
you're just taking what what is that two more wounds as they're just continuing to like pump
pump these irradiated shells and you just just get him he's almost down yeah we need our casket
it all feels so hot
okay okay
lynn and uh roose would you like to go or do you want lynn and rocko to go first
i'll let them go okay
i'm covered i'm covered roose as lynn rushes forward uh they're going to attack the other contest here
uh once again with a bunch of auto pistols
no aiming though because they moved
oh wow that's probably no i mean no way yeah no way i mean no that's actually
it's gonna be good because they can shift for damage here which they'll need because they're
actually gonna hit the leader
okay uh
do you think we're gonna live
it's enough to kill the one the leader's still left though all right that's it roose you're up
you're up you're up the door is kind of like it's closed back up but these others are getting so
close what are you doing roose stands
i get all these guys yeah yeah
i am still feared
you are feared and hindered i think you're exhausted too so i think almost all you can do is stand in one action
that action's gonna be fighting i'm gonna fight with the ripper gun eyes
he's he fucking starts stabbing with this ripper bayonet
all right so their defense oh my god yes i love this game this game's the best six successes but i do
complicate yeah okay okay okay are you happy doing a wrath or anything i'd still hurry you out your tap
okay well remember it's a mob though it's a mob so every additional one hits it yeah i mean
i don't have any wrath or anything so okay okay i don't want to spin our glory on this just yet
um okay so uh you'll you'll kill a guy publication does not work because there's a melee
fall prone go back
everywhere i'm slipping on all the blood up i've killed so many of these people i slip on a
bloody corpse and i fall right back down i got it for you and uh
i'm just like i'm i'm just in bloodlust at this point i'm i'm killing so many of them they can't
see red it's red everywhere yeah no they can't but you get up again because they're never going to keep
you down exactly um who who would like to go who would like to go first in this round um
um one of the medicaid capable people could probably help out the good captain
that is entirely true uh one can help ruse one can help the captain i i can help i can help all of
them okay i will help ruse then okay should i help shoot or should i heal you ruse i was gonna
heal you but if you'd rather i try and shoot them i mean if you go back where you were and shoot them
like i just aim yeah there's only so many people here so we might as well just kill them yeah i'm
gonna take aim at the final blob in front of ruse and i am going to try and shoot them with the arc pistol
to it aim i'm gonna check that box that's a lot seven successes in one shift
that that is a lot i'm gonna i'm gonna damage on that one yeah that means they're all yeah well
i'm pretty sure they're all dead they're all dead
the electricity parks over them slaying them
all right those noises
the guy with the sword is gonna go unless someone wants to yeah i'm spinning your army
okay well i'm not going to be able to i think the only one who can still save an action
i can still i can still charge at least no you can't because you're prone
so you remember you're also staggered so you kind of get like one moving action to stand up and
then you can take an action but that's it you can't like stack them because of your show shirt um
you could shoot yes someone else well kelrana might as well go and finish this guy off
kelrana are you gonna gonna seize the opportunity in bio lighting yeah i'll have
them all right all right now odoroshi oh i've already i know what you're about to do
and uh you just you you that was okay roll your damn it i'm mad i'm mad you didn't even give me my
moment i had a bit and you were just like i see through this bit and i'm just going straight to
bio lightning chat you're with me she denied the witch irl i'm already unbound thurston what
more do you want from me one mortal wound kill him mr electric okay people's office and have him
expelled all right and with that kelrana your electric energy comes coruscating out as this happens uh
the last of the the the foes are defeated uh aloysius has managed to uh stabilize the casket to prevent
what's in it from from you know being freed acolyte locks and comes rushing up as finally ruse is able
to collapse to rest uh aloysius is able to begin healing and ensuring that the crypt is sealed tight
which he already did the captain is tended to
and with that you've managed to stop the crypt from opening
just for funsies though oh no because that is the end of the adventure but just for funsies
i'm just gonna drop this this feller right here
let's show you
you know what let's let's just like attack you so he comes out and he immediately
rips up some of the ground um he's got eight athletics eight strength um seven toughness
oh boy he would hit roos um with uh with a big industrial pipe
um okay yeah that'll hit so he'll hit he'll will damage
13. he'll do more damage in one hit than the uh than the entire mob did to you yeah i mean i mean
with the resistance and so he had no ap or anything but i could start i could take a couple couple hits
hits you could take you could take a couple hits you could take so this guy getting out
was the fail state i imagine uh it was the hard mode it was the the hard mode he's wearing mark
three power armor oh oh since you said this is the last adventure like for kind of like a conclusion what happens
well so a few things happen you you manage to uh to prevent the the stasis uh crypt from being
from being um unleashed you learn very soon from acolyte loxon that the the person entombed within this
is heretic astartes in fact the heretic astartes who ruled over this sector of space
in ages past before the imperium re-colonized the gilead system um
the crypt is taken away immediately by the inquisition uh probably sent to an archive somewhere
uh a la indiana jones where it is going to wait for some time the rest of you however
are are thoroughly questioned before being allowed to to depart uh as as agreed upon the
forge mistress um provides the cogitators however there is still one adventure to be had
but before that adventure can take place well you're gonna have to get back to the ship
and the bird of paradise and find out what exactly has gone on and to that end maybe one day we'll
return to wrath and glory everyone and find the continuing story of this strange band but that will be it for
this campaign thank you all oh yeah and the inquisition has a lot of questions about the wings that
disappear uh within uh 20 seconds yeah sorry yeah can i spend a wrath and keep them
uh yeah sure sanguineous okay great yeah also sounds good sounds good sanguineous
yeah as as a leader of the blood angels it's important it fits as the captain of the bird of
paradise yeah actually it's a squid of mark um oh that's true it is a squiggle mark now
yeah yeah so now thank you everybody for watching uh obviously um as much as we say like we'll come
back to this uh basically just for scheduling like for for some of you listening in the far
future or whatever we might have already completed the other campaign just look at the playlist like
it'll be very obvious if we just pick the playlist if it's not there we just haven't got to it yet
um basically right now because of scheduling and stuff with rock rind and everything uh we'll get to
this when we can when we continue for the final adventure of the litanies of the lost uh we'll get
to that whenever we can so uh we release these bi-weekly but of course if you want to watch these
right now and watch the other ones uh before they get released bi-weekly you know basically like we
stream it wait a week that it comes out stream it wait a week comes out like kind of like a bi-weekly
schedule um basically just subscribe uh to either our patreon at patreon.com forward slash narrative
declaration where we try to give them up as soon as we can for you guys but of course it's instantly
sad because it's a live stream it goes to a vod uh either on twitch you can sub for that or you can
be a benefactor on youtube now youtube.com forward slash narrative declarations you can also get the vod
with the youtube player and stuff like that uh if you really liked what we do here uh for narrative
declaration stuff like this has been a blast um it's been fun to play warhammer again i know we were
i know we want to do some warhammery stuff i think our characters are super fun super engaging i love
all of them did all of them an amazing job on this and uh we've been having a lot of fun with these
adventures so thank you thurston for kicking ass uh helping us do it and tolerating us as we
all forget rules every so often because the glory is uh oh and by the way i i see i do i do see it
coming in there it's like oh we had on the schedule for for next week we kind of buffered out we weren't
sure how long this campaign was gonna take so we buffered out into next week but we kind of we
finished this adventure so we don't want to start the next one and do like one session of it so
yeah we we kind of like double down because like okay how long is this realistically going to take
this because this could have taken longer um yeah like give or take her shenanigans uh but for now
we're just going to kind of keep things a little bit quiet now we're going to start getting ready
for rock run next month and we're gonna kick ass with that and if we ever get like a big length of
time of like a break from rock run or whatever uh as like episodes go through and stuff we might be
like hey let's just kind of finish up that campaign you know let's finish up that thing so we
the desire to get this done will happen uh but still if you need to know what we're doing because
sometimes people come in they're like i don't know what's going on with this group like what are they
doing where's the streams where's anything go to our discord like our discord we tell everyone
everything and it also gives you patreon alerts whenever we put out a update post all this other stuff
it's discord.gg forward slash narrative declaration uh please use that to stay informed of everything
that we do uh let me see my discord command works hopefully that works out for you and if the link
doesn't work just kind of look in the description of our youtube videos for a discord link and if it
ever goes weird it's just because for some reason the boosting thing glitched out and the custom url died
because it just happens like that sometimes but uh let's see if you want to stay updated on what we do
um of course like what campaigns are we doing when's the live stream once then this happened all the
info's there on in addition to uh being a follower of the patreon you get all the updates of what we do
we do our best to do like a monthly post of like hey here's the plan here's what's going on if you're
subscribed to it you also get behind the scenes stuff all sorts of things we we do everything we can to
help people out accommodate people and uh give you some awesome stuff to watch so with that thank you
all so very much for watching i wanted to reintroduce you to amazing people where you can find them
starting off with hulky that is me you can find me over on twitch and blue sky at hulky crow same
spelling same capitalization and pretty much every social you want to ask me something funny have a
question that you think you can't ask me go to the tumblr that i only sometimes check why not
and odo where can they find you uh you can find me on blue sky at odo bites you can find me on the
discord at just odo you can find me on tumblr.com at odoroshi-rider um and you can find me in your walls
and uh uh outside your window and speaker where can they find you you can find me on blue sky at
speaker d and i'm nowhere else but i'm everywhere you don't look very soon where can they find you
uh you can find me at all the things at on call gm and thank you all again for this really fun
campaign it was cool to go through some adventures get back to some warhammer together
and of course i am i have been your host for this evening i am zon the wizard you can find
everything at zon the wizard.com where you also feel free to come over by twitch live streams ask
me anything about the shows production stuff like that more than happy to talk to you guys whenever
i can get live it's been nothing but paperwork yeah we've been busy but we're going to update
the schedule stuff please stay tuned while we do on the discord and all the updates and everything
else thank you all so very much for watching and we will see you all next time
so long and see you guys next time
good bye
praise��'s hold fast