WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:01:25.521 --> 00:01:28.601 Sam: Welcome to another episode of Unashamed Unafraid. 00:01:28.976 --> 00:01:31.316 Unashamed of sexual addiction, recovery and unafraid of 00:01:31.316 --> 00:01:33.056 coming onto Christ for healing. 00:01:34.106 --> 00:01:34.616 You know what? 00:01:34.616 --> 00:01:35.461 I really love 00:01:36.236 --> 00:01:36.596 Chris: me. 00:01:40.886 --> 00:01:41.516 Mason: That's what I love too. 00:01:41.606 --> 00:01:42.176 Sam: what I was gonna say. 00:01:42.176 --> 00:01:43.016 I do love you. 00:01:43.886 --> 00:01:45.626 Uh, that's a good looking shirt, Chris. 00:01:45.626 --> 00:01:47.876 I like, I like a shirt that fits well. 00:01:48.296 --> 00:01:48.806 Chris: Heck yeah. 00:01:49.201 --> 00:01:50.606 I, I love me some flannels, 00:01:50.921 --> 00:01:51.211 Sam: Yeah, 00:01:51.216 --> 00:01:54.596 you guys didn't, this was, uh, just before we started recording, but, uh. 00:01:54.958 --> 00:01:59.668 Chris has got a nice flan of shirt on today I literally told same 00:02:00.778 --> 00:02:03.148 if you wanna see what it looks like, hop on our YouTube channel. 00:02:03.178 --> 00:02:04.138 He's looking really good 00:02:04.363 --> 00:02:05.773 Chris: What you guys should already be watching. 00:02:05.773 --> 00:02:06.762 The YouTube channel. 00:02:07.126 --> 00:02:09.041 Sam: So what are we talking about today? 00:02:09.041 --> 00:02:09.431 Mace? 00:02:09.853 --> 00:02:10.693 Mason: Talking about slowing down. 00:02:11.235 --> 00:02:12.015 Talking about slowing down. 00:02:12.285 --> 00:02:13.365 I was listening to, uh, 00:02:13.375 --> 00:02:13.785 Chris: slowing down? 00:02:13.785 --> 00:02:14.415 Slowing down in what? 00:02:15.855 --> 00:02:17.925 Mason: Slowing down in our recovery, talking about 00:02:17.925 --> 00:02:18.765 slowing down in our recovery. 00:02:18.765 --> 00:02:21.135 I was listening to Doug Nielsen's podcast. 00:02:21.195 --> 00:02:22.125 Go check that one now. 00:02:22.185 --> 00:02:23.085 It's freaking great. 00:02:23.835 --> 00:02:24.345 And 00:02:24.345 --> 00:02:24.641 do you remember 00:02:24.705 --> 00:02:25.125 Sam: episode 00:02:25.556 --> 00:02:25.665 Mason: is? 00:02:25.665 --> 00:02:25.965 Nope. 00:02:26.850 --> 00:02:27.720 Chris: We will figure it out though. 00:02:28.065 --> 00:02:28.875 Mason: We'll, we'll put it in. 00:02:29.688 --> 00:02:33.168 you guys just talked about slowing down your RPMs is the way he puts it. 00:02:33.528 --> 00:02:37.482 And I'm interested, I have tons of questions, so let's just get into it. 00:02:37.885 --> 00:02:38.155 Chris: Swing. 00:02:38.380 --> 00:02:42.280 Sam: So, slowing down the RPMs in recovery, why is it important to 00:02:42.280 --> 00:02:43.334 slow down and what does that look 00:02:44.065 --> 00:02:45.265 Mason: Mm, yeah, essentially. 00:02:45.925 --> 00:02:46.315 Chris: love it. 00:02:46.855 --> 00:02:50.575 Well, 'cause I, I think first, like especially when, say, 00:02:50.575 --> 00:02:52.065 say you get caught, right? 00:02:52.289 --> 00:02:56.849 caught by a spouse, caught by parents, whatever that, whatever that is, then 00:02:56.849 --> 00:02:58.109 everybody's like losing their mind. 00:02:58.109 --> 00:03:00.479 They're freaking out, they're still totally upset and they're like, you 00:03:00.479 --> 00:03:01.709 gotta do this, you gotta do that. 00:03:01.709 --> 00:03:04.711 So in that mode that you're in now you're like, oh my gosh, 00:03:04.771 --> 00:03:06.181 I've got to do everything. 00:03:07.036 --> 00:03:09.166 I've gotta do this, I gotta do that, and I gotta do that. 00:03:09.256 --> 00:03:13.126 And then all of a sudden you're trying to do everything at once and 00:03:13.126 --> 00:03:18.286 it becomes so overwhelming that you stop or that you, that you just, you 00:03:18.286 --> 00:03:24.356 just feel like you can't do it all and it becomes too much, too hard, and. 00:03:24.829 --> 00:03:26.266 You just kind of stop. 00:03:27.079 --> 00:03:34.339 And so slowing down is really a, a good way to, to really like pause and think so 00:03:34.339 --> 00:03:40.039 that you can think clearly and get to that place of being like, what is next for me? 00:03:40.189 --> 00:03:45.439 That's all I just need to know because I can't go from acting out every single day. 00:03:46.309 --> 00:03:48.829 For years, and then all of a sudden I'm stopping. 00:03:49.489 --> 00:03:52.339 If you think you could do that bullshit, like it just doesn't happen. 00:03:52.759 --> 00:03:54.859 I mean, you may have like one or two in the world that 00:03:54.859 --> 00:03:57.812 will do that, but it's, yeah. 00:03:57.812 --> 00:04:02.102 It's very, very, very, very rare for something like that to happen. 00:04:02.162 --> 00:04:02.522 Right. 00:04:02.657 --> 00:04:05.807 Sam: Well, I wonder if speeding through recovery described, 00:04:06.677 --> 00:04:07.663 probably one of the symptoms 00:04:09.945 --> 00:04:10.815 external pressure, 00:04:14.597 --> 00:04:15.527 you're doing things that aren't 00:04:19.367 --> 00:04:19.727 Chris: right. 00:04:20.897 --> 00:04:21.227 And then you're 00:04:21.237 --> 00:04:21.782 Sam: or 12 weeks. 00:04:21.827 --> 00:04:22.967 Chris: I'm not doing enough. 00:04:22.997 --> 00:04:24.797 Yeah, because I still, oh, I still act. 00:04:24.797 --> 00:04:27.083 I acted out, so I'm obviously not doing enough. 00:04:27.856 --> 00:04:30.316 And that maybe that you're just doing too much and you're 00:04:30.316 --> 00:04:31.938 not doing enough of one thing. 00:04:32.956 --> 00:04:34.696 That can really help you in recovery. 00:04:34.996 --> 00:04:38.476 So slowing that down of being like, all right, I just learned like a 00:04:38.476 --> 00:04:41.602 whole bunch of tools, a whole bunch of different things that I could do. 00:04:42.526 --> 00:04:46.126 I looked up online a bunch of different ways to overcome pornography. 00:04:46.126 --> 00:04:50.986 I looked up or I went and sp spoke with my therapist or my coach and 00:04:50.986 --> 00:04:52.486 taught, got taught all these things. 00:04:52.996 --> 00:04:53.716 Now what do I do? 00:04:54.526 --> 00:04:56.386 It's like, oh, what is my next step? 00:04:56.386 --> 00:05:01.216 I just need to focus on one or two things and be like, I'm just gonna focus on that 00:05:01.336 --> 00:05:05.956 for maybe the next three weeks or the next month, or whatever that looks like, and 00:05:05.956 --> 00:05:08.266 get really good at doing that one thing. 00:05:08.414 --> 00:05:08.621 Mason: Mm, 00:05:08.757 --> 00:05:12.267 Sam: Well, I just was thinking back to the conversation you months ago 00:05:12.627 --> 00:05:16.497 where you called me and we were talking about like, what does my recovery 00:05:17.127 --> 00:05:17.337 Mason: Yeah, 00:05:17.457 --> 00:05:17.697 Sam: right. 00:05:17.697 --> 00:05:19.017 I'm doing everybody else's recovery. 00:05:19.017 --> 00:05:25.947 What does my recovery And I wonder if, I wonder if part of recovery, knowing what 00:05:25.947 --> 00:05:31.857 to do in recovery, knowing how to next thing is, talking about, is taking time to 00:05:35.472 --> 00:05:35.742 Chris: Yeah. 00:05:36.207 --> 00:05:40.287 Sam: That's what it looks like to slow down I, I think I told 00:05:40.287 --> 00:05:43.677 you in that conversation, I was like, dude, you know what you And 00:05:43.677 --> 00:05:44.427 you were like, I remember you. 00:05:44.427 --> 00:05:45.877 Like, yeah, yeah, 00:05:46.407 --> 00:05:46.677 Mason: yeah. 00:05:46.677 --> 00:05:47.517 Like it was clear. 00:05:47.787 --> 00:05:47.997 It was 00:05:48.057 --> 00:05:48.927 Sam: do know what I need. 00:05:48.987 --> 00:05:49.017 Mason: Uhhuh. 00:05:49.167 --> 00:05:49.527 Totally. 00:05:51.477 --> 00:05:51.807 Yeah. 00:05:51.807 --> 00:05:54.297 And, and that was, I think that was a big part of why the 00:05:54.297 --> 00:05:57.595 conversation was so helpful is because it forced me to slow down. 00:05:58.617 --> 00:05:58.917 Right? 00:05:58.917 --> 00:06:03.447 Like being able to talk to you and kind of have like a bounce back 00:06:03.717 --> 00:06:08.667 forced me to slow down and not be so in my head, which usually goes a 00:06:09.497 --> 00:06:09.787 Sam: Yeah. 00:06:09.815 --> 00:06:09.897 Chris: times. 00:06:09.987 --> 00:06:10.287 Yeah. 00:06:10.287 --> 00:06:10.297 Yeah. 00:06:10.767 --> 00:06:13.167 Well, you think about it too, like if, if you're in the middle of the day and 00:06:13.167 --> 00:06:15.837 you act out in the middle of the day, like you're at work and you got all 00:06:15.837 --> 00:06:19.587 this temptation that comes in and you're just like, I'm just gonna hurry up, go 00:06:19.587 --> 00:06:23.367 and act out, get back to my day, rock it out, get you're not slowing down. 00:06:23.532 --> 00:06:23.742 Mason: Mm-hmm. 00:06:24.277 --> 00:06:27.187 Chris: So then later that day, you still want to act out some more because it 00:06:27.187 --> 00:06:31.435 wasn't enough or, you know, the, the next day comes in and you're not slowing down. 00:06:31.435 --> 00:06:35.215 You're not allowing yourself to be able to process the emotion that you're actually 00:06:35.215 --> 00:06:36.617 trying to cover up in the first place, 00:06:37.615 --> 00:06:41.909 because acting out on pornography is a way of mismanaging emotion. 00:06:42.680 --> 00:06:42.965 You're. 00:06:43.835 --> 00:06:44.765 I'm feeling stressed. 00:06:44.795 --> 00:06:45.905 I'm feeling like worried. 00:06:45.905 --> 00:06:49.653 I'm feeling, the stress of like all this stuff coming at me, coming at 00:06:49.653 --> 00:06:52.593 me at work or my life in general. 00:06:52.593 --> 00:06:55.833 Like all these things that are coming at me in life and not taking the 00:06:55.833 --> 00:06:59.629 time to just slow down and stop and be like, Hmm, I need to figure this 00:06:59.629 --> 00:07:01.249 out so I can make a healthy choice. 00:07:02.929 --> 00:07:05.569 We talk about that in, you know, with my clients, I'm, I'm 00:07:05.719 --> 00:07:07.609 talking about the path, right? 00:07:07.669 --> 00:07:08.269 Pause. 00:07:08.539 --> 00:07:11.149 The very first thing when a temptation comes in is to 00:07:11.149 --> 00:07:13.909 pause, to just wait a second. 00:07:13.999 --> 00:07:15.319 I don't need to do anything yet. 00:07:15.769 --> 00:07:17.029 I just need to pause for a moment. 00:07:18.139 --> 00:07:18.979 Slow down. 00:07:20.209 --> 00:07:22.819 Then you acknowledge what is that emotion that you're going through? 00:07:22.819 --> 00:07:24.049 What is, what are you feeling? 00:07:24.509 --> 00:07:24.809 Right. 00:07:24.809 --> 00:07:26.519 That's for the PATH acronym. 00:07:26.819 --> 00:07:31.739 Pause, acknowledge, and then set a timer, take two minutes, set the 00:07:31.739 --> 00:07:36.659 timer, and just sit in the emotion and just allow yourself to feel it. 00:07:36.989 --> 00:07:38.789 Instead of being like, I just got numb from it. 00:07:38.819 --> 00:07:39.899 I don't like what I'm feeling. 00:07:40.139 --> 00:07:41.309 I gotta, I'm, I'm bored. 00:07:41.309 --> 00:07:43.979 So I need to like, figure out what it is or not figure out. 00:07:44.009 --> 00:07:45.728 I need to, not be bored. 00:07:45.728 --> 00:07:49.448 So what I normally do is I go to act out, but when you're feeling 00:07:49.448 --> 00:07:51.370 bored, just allows you to pause. 00:07:52.133 --> 00:07:54.233 Then acknowledge what the emotion is around it. 00:07:54.833 --> 00:07:57.833 Take two minutes and just allow yourself to just sit in it, set the 00:07:57.833 --> 00:07:58.943 timer, like pull out your phone. 00:07:59.153 --> 00:08:02.303 Everybody's got phones that have alarms on 'em or that have timers on 'em. 00:08:02.423 --> 00:08:05.183 Set two minutes and be like, I'm gonna sit in this and allow 00:08:05.183 --> 00:08:06.413 myself to fill it for two minutes. 00:08:06.803 --> 00:08:09.206 Then I can make a healthy choice. 00:08:09.836 --> 00:08:12.464 ' cause now you're like, I actually do have a choice in 00:08:13.296 --> 00:08:15.246 Mason: So I wanna, I wanna revisit what you were talking 00:08:17.436 --> 00:08:18.696 because I heard something recently. 00:08:18.696 --> 00:08:24.576 It was like, instead of learning something new, take a moment to integrate And 00:08:24.576 --> 00:08:29.406 I think I'm a huge, I'm, I'm guilty of that because what I love to do 00:08:29.406 --> 00:08:32.736 is listen to podcasts and books, and read things and all this kind of stuff 00:08:32.736 --> 00:08:34.326 because it makes me feel like I'm. 00:08:34.776 --> 00:08:38.196 Making progress even though 00:08:38.196 --> 00:08:38.349 implementing 00:08:38.466 --> 00:08:39.456 Chris: from all those books and 00:08:40.026 --> 00:08:40.116 Mason: Right. 00:08:40.116 --> 00:08:40.296 Yes. 00:08:40.836 --> 00:08:41.496 That was my point. 00:08:41.496 --> 00:08:44.106 And so even though my sobriety isn't changing, I'm still acting 00:08:44.106 --> 00:08:47.496 out just as much as I was before, but it makes me feel better. 00:08:47.826 --> 00:08:50.526 And so how can you deal with the fact? 00:08:50.526 --> 00:08:52.219 And sometimes I think I deal with, I. 00:08:53.174 --> 00:08:57.614 Don't wanna slow down and integrate some of those stuff because I 00:08:57.614 --> 00:09:00.554 want immediate re like results. 00:09:00.884 --> 00:09:04.004 I feel the shame and I feel bad when I'm like, okay, I'm doing 00:09:04.004 --> 00:09:05.084 this stuff but it's not working. 00:09:05.084 --> 00:09:07.364 But it's like, I did it for a week. 00:09:07.544 --> 00:09:07.874 Right. 00:09:07.874 --> 00:09:11.864 Like, like I guess, I guess help me, like what do I what? 00:09:12.194 --> 00:09:12.854 Gimme advice. 00:09:13.049 --> 00:09:16.465 Chris: tell me, tell me, do you guys look at YouTube and flip through and 00:09:16.465 --> 00:09:19.465 scroll through YouTube or Instagram and you just like keep scrolling? 00:09:19.465 --> 00:09:19.525 Yeah. 00:09:19.975 --> 00:09:24.115 You are training your brain to only allow yourself to have a maximum of 00:09:24.115 --> 00:09:26.425 eight to 15 seconds of, of satisfaction. 00:09:26.815 --> 00:09:28.045 Then you're done to the next one. 00:09:28.420 --> 00:09:28.450 Mason: Mm. 00:09:28.890 --> 00:09:29.220 Chris: Right? 00:09:29.220 --> 00:09:33.540 And so it's, you're not even letting yourself slow down, even just your brain. 00:09:33.540 --> 00:09:35.760 You might be just sitting there chilling and doing nothing. 00:09:36.360 --> 00:09:39.450 But you're not letting your brain process what is actually happening 00:09:39.450 --> 00:09:41.280 and what's going on in your life. 00:09:41.490 --> 00:09:43.860 You just scroll because you get bored and you're just like, onto 00:09:43.860 --> 00:09:45.630 the next one, next one, keep going. 00:09:46.230 --> 00:09:49.660 And you're training your brain to only have, , these really fast 00:09:49.660 --> 00:09:53.444 increments of, dopamine hits and keep going, keep going, keep going. 00:09:53.744 --> 00:09:56.954 And you're not allowing yourself to just sit in the emotion. 00:09:57.374 --> 00:10:00.524 So it's like I would challenge you guys both like if, if, if you go 00:10:00.524 --> 00:10:03.074 to an office or sitting in a line. 00:10:03.239 --> 00:10:05.439 What is the first thing that you guys do when you're standing in the line? 00:10:05.489 --> 00:10:05.928 Mason: Get my phone 00:10:06.629 --> 00:10:06.699 Chris: My phone. 00:10:06.699 --> 00:10:06.899 Pull up your phone. 00:10:06.899 --> 00:10:06.959 Yeah. 00:10:07.992 --> 00:10:08.172 So 00:10:08.172 --> 00:10:11.852 I challenge you to, to like instead of pulling up your phone, just 00:10:11.938 --> 00:10:14.758 keep your hands in your pockets and just, just look around. 00:10:14.803 --> 00:10:14.863 Mason: Hmm. 00:10:16.033 --> 00:10:16.933 Chris: I do it all the time. 00:10:16.933 --> 00:10:18.403 I'm like, Nope, I don't need my phone right now. 00:10:18.967 --> 00:10:19.807 Because I'm guilty of that. 00:10:19.807 --> 00:10:23.587 I'm guilty of like pulling out my phone in line or whatever, you know, just, and 00:10:23.587 --> 00:10:25.597 then I feel disconnected from everything 00:10:26.687 --> 00:10:29.197 And I'm like, I'm unaware of my circumstances around me. 00:10:29.197 --> 00:10:29.737 First of all. 00:10:29.737 --> 00:10:33.487 'cause I'm in my phone, I'm like, I want to be more aware of my circumstances. 00:10:33.487 --> 00:10:36.757 I wanna know what's going on and see what's around me. 00:10:36.757 --> 00:10:40.055 Like it start to enjoy what is actually around me, what's going on around me. 00:10:40.507 --> 00:10:48.997 Sam: How has the speed of your, the, your thought processes the pace since starting 00:10:52.432 --> 00:10:54.922 Chris: Well, if you look at my life, my life is like, for a long 00:10:54.922 --> 00:10:56.632 time it was like super crazy. 00:10:56.692 --> 00:10:56.842 Yeah. 00:10:57.142 --> 00:10:59.302 Even up until June. 00:10:59.992 --> 00:11:00.052 Yeah. 00:11:00.052 --> 00:11:01.942 My, my life was like nuts. 00:11:01.972 --> 00:11:04.072 'cause I was building my practice. 00:11:04.072 --> 00:11:07.612 I was working another full-time job, so I was working 70 hours a week. 00:11:07.642 --> 00:11:08.542 It was like nuts. 00:11:08.602 --> 00:11:08.992 Right. 00:11:09.602 --> 00:11:11.502 , But there was times where I, I was like. 00:11:11.832 --> 00:11:15.462 I have to make sure that I take this time, this weekend, or this time to 00:11:15.462 --> 00:11:18.762 be able to settle down and just allow myself to just pause and think and not 00:11:19.062 --> 00:11:23.806 numb out through Netflix or not numb out through, Instagram or something like 00:11:23.806 --> 00:11:27.485 that and just sit in my own thoughts. 00:11:27.972 --> 00:11:30.432 It's okay for us to sit in our own thoughts and be like, Hmm, 00:11:30.882 --> 00:11:32.052 what's going on in here, man? 00:11:33.518 --> 00:11:36.668 What, what, what was my, like, that's why, um, I will talk to a 00:11:36.668 --> 00:11:39.938 lot of my clients about gratitude and using a gratitude journal. 00:11:40.448 --> 00:11:42.638 Like that's totally an episode that we should, we should have to do. 00:11:42.638 --> 00:11:45.638 And it's talking about gratitude and what the powers of gratitude are. 00:11:45.829 --> 00:11:49.309 but sitting in that and being like, what did I accomplish today? 00:11:49.399 --> 00:11:51.109 What am I grateful for that I did today? 00:11:51.499 --> 00:11:53.209 Because so many of us are like looking through the day 00:11:53.209 --> 00:11:54.979 going, I didn't do jack crap. 00:11:55.399 --> 00:11:56.679 No, you did stuff. 00:11:57.669 --> 00:11:58.359 So slow. 00:11:58.359 --> 00:12:02.008 So allow, it's allowed me to be able to, to slow myself down 00:12:02.441 --> 00:12:04.421 so that I can be with myself. 00:12:04.601 --> 00:12:06.941 I'll, I'll even hear my own heartbeat sometimes. 00:12:06.941 --> 00:12:07.931 I'm like, this is kind of weird. 00:12:10.271 --> 00:12:10.721 Right. 00:12:10.721 --> 00:12:10.811 So 00:12:11.377 --> 00:12:11.527 Mason: I'm 00:12:11.527 --> 00:12:16.267 interested now, how does that, 'cause we've talked about like kinda why 00:12:16.267 --> 00:12:20.467 that's good for you, but how does that translate You know, what will 00:12:20.467 --> 00:12:22.810 that recovery to help me stop acting 00:12:23.182 --> 00:12:26.122 Chris: Because now you can actually like process emotion in a healthy way. 00:12:27.220 --> 00:12:29.328 ' cause you know what you're feeling, you're, you're like 00:12:29.328 --> 00:12:32.508 allowing yourself to feel doesn't, you're starting to name emotions. 00:12:33.198 --> 00:12:34.608 So like the how we feel app. 00:12:35.373 --> 00:12:38.163 Is a really good way because then so many people are like, well, I'm 00:12:38.163 --> 00:12:39.843 angry, or I'm bored, or whatever. 00:12:39.843 --> 00:12:44.283 And they just generalize all emotions into like one, like a few, like 00:12:44.283 --> 00:12:48.303 five or six general emotions, not really knowing what they're feeling. 00:12:48.303 --> 00:12:49.383 That's why I like how we feel. 00:12:49.413 --> 00:12:53.253 'cause you can scroll through and like look at each emotion and be 00:12:53.253 --> 00:12:54.693 like, Nope, that's not what I feel. 00:12:54.933 --> 00:12:57.303 And go to the next one and be like, oh, that's totally what I feel. 00:12:57.333 --> 00:12:58.983 'cause it, it has an explanation of it. 00:12:59.553 --> 00:13:02.103 So then you're gonna actually start to name what you're actually 00:13:02.103 --> 00:13:04.443 feeling in the emotions and be like. 00:13:05.208 --> 00:13:06.108 This is interesting. 00:13:06.858 --> 00:13:11.238 What are the healthy choices I can do to help change this emotion? 00:13:11.735 --> 00:13:14.135 Because now you've allowed yourself to process it to sit in it. 00:13:14.705 --> 00:13:19.595 And what I normally do is go and act out and instead I'm 00:13:19.595 --> 00:13:20.769 gonna make a healthy choice 00:13:22.359 --> 00:13:22.539 Sam: Yeah. 00:13:22.539 --> 00:13:23.859 I think there's power. 00:13:23.859 --> 00:13:25.209 There's power in being still. 00:13:25.817 --> 00:13:26.864 There's power in being still. 00:13:27.139 --> 00:13:29.714 I, I think that's part of the recipe, uh, of 00:13:30.329 --> 00:13:31.644 Chris: That's exactly where I was gonna go. 00:13:31.904 --> 00:13:32.124 Yep. 00:13:32.529 --> 00:13:36.584 Sam: Like I go out in the mountains and connect with men and have solitude for the 00:13:36.584 --> 00:13:39.340 first time maybe in years, connect with 00:13:41.504 --> 00:13:41.954 some allow 00:13:42.089 --> 00:13:43.349 Chris: to slow down. 00:13:43.349 --> 00:13:43.499 Yeah. 00:13:44.279 --> 00:13:45.044 To connect. 00:13:45.344 --> 00:13:45.614 Sam: Yeah. 00:13:45.614 --> 00:13:49.069 I think if you operate by God can 00:13:50.613 --> 00:13:50.857 Chris: It's like 00:13:52.239 --> 00:13:52.642 Sam: principle. 00:13:52.642 --> 00:13:55.291 Slowing down, meditating, 00:14:00.207 --> 00:14:01.137 things will change in 00:14:02.152 --> 00:14:02.482 Chris: Totally, 00:14:03.265 --> 00:14:06.325 Mason: I think this is making me think just like I've, like we said, I've 00:14:06.325 --> 00:14:11.032 just been doing the how we for like and I haven't really been even slowing 00:14:12.274 --> 00:14:16.354 but that even has just helped me to slow down just a little bit to think 00:14:16.354 --> 00:14:22.714 about and to emotions because it has the whole color grade thing and it, 00:14:22.744 --> 00:14:25.955 you can go through and it has a little description of how you're feeling and. 00:14:26.149 --> 00:14:31.399 I think it's hard to know what you need help with unless you know And I would 00:14:31.399 --> 00:14:34.152 totally generalize say, I'm Right. 00:14:34.152 --> 00:14:37.988 When I was growing up, like I didn't wanna talk to my parents my emotions 00:14:39.657 --> 00:14:41.097 Chris: and when you're tired, what do you do? 00:14:41.252 --> 00:14:41.602 Right. 00:14:41.787 --> 00:14:42.597 You go to sleep. 00:14:43.017 --> 00:14:43.077 Yeah. 00:14:43.257 --> 00:14:46.977 But when you're saying I'm tired, and then you're like, well, I'm just gonna go and 00:14:47.037 --> 00:14:51.777 look at porn, or I'm gonna go and check out on Netflix or YouTube or whatever. 00:14:52.257 --> 00:14:53.180 You're not tired. 00:14:54.117 --> 00:14:56.961 Mason: So even just this last week has helped me to realize a little 00:14:56.961 --> 00:14:59.260 bit more what is actually happening. 00:14:59.740 --> 00:15:05.080 And now I can go connect with or I can go take a healthier 00:15:05.080 --> 00:15:07.360 choice 'cause I know what I 00:15:10.357 --> 00:15:10.957 help that emotion. 00:15:11.587 --> 00:15:15.238 That I'm As opposed to I'm just tired and I'm, it's just an off 00:15:15.922 --> 00:15:16.042 Chris: day. 00:15:16.042 --> 00:15:16.192 Yep. 00:15:16.402 --> 00:15:17.632 And that, oh, go ahead. 00:15:21.217 --> 00:15:25.747 Sam: feeling that the accomplishments that I have less 00:15:27.967 --> 00:15:32.668 That's also of hustling when 00:15:32.668 --> 00:15:33.148 I talk to 00:15:36.936 --> 00:15:37.517 the fastness 00:15:40.116 --> 00:15:40.206 Chris: right? 00:15:41.121 --> 00:15:41.811 Sam: They talk about 00:15:45.321 --> 00:15:45.681 they talk 00:15:55.186 --> 00:15:56.476 Chris: experiences with God. 00:15:56.626 --> 00:15:59.236 Sam: experiences where you slow down 00:16:07.816 --> 00:16:07.966 Mason: Yeah, 00:16:08.341 --> 00:16:08.761 Chris: Totally. 00:16:08.851 --> 00:16:12.938 Well that and that's why , at bootcamp when we have, you know, younger dudes like 00:16:12.938 --> 00:16:16.983 you guys come through that are un under 25 and they walk away from bootcamp going. 00:16:18.683 --> 00:16:20.663 well, around that age. 00:16:21.263 --> 00:16:22.553 Dang, you're getting old man. 00:16:23.238 --> 00:16:24.473 Mason: You guys are all way old. 00:16:24.473 --> 00:16:25.283 Dude, I'm 23. 00:16:25.523 --> 00:16:26.183 My goodness. 00:16:26.243 --> 00:16:28.733 Chris: So, so like when, when you get these younger dudes that 00:16:28.733 --> 00:16:32.363 come in and they are finally like, they put their phone away. 00:16:32.363 --> 00:16:36.083 Like we just had an 18-year-old that came down to bootcamp in Arizona 00:16:36.803 --> 00:16:36.923 and 00:16:37.553 --> 00:16:43.313 he's like, that was so powerful for me to finally just set my phone down 00:16:43.313 --> 00:16:45.133 and not touch it for three days. 00:16:46.268 --> 00:16:46.448 He 00:16:46.448 --> 00:16:49.658 goes, man, it allowed me to connect with me. 00:16:50.138 --> 00:16:53.168 Allowed me to, to connect with God in a way that I never 00:16:53.168 --> 00:16:54.643 thought I would even experience. 00:16:55.388 --> 00:17:00.248 And you know, and that's why those vows of silence can be so important you're slowing 00:17:00.248 --> 00:17:02.648 down and just letting yourself connect. 00:17:02.648 --> 00:17:06.008 Because think about when we pray, we're praying right before we go to 00:17:06.008 --> 00:17:09.998 work or, and then we we're, we're off to work or we pray and we go fall 00:17:10.358 --> 00:17:11.828 right to sleep or whatever that is. 00:17:11.828 --> 00:17:13.263 We're falling asleep while we're praying. 00:17:14.013 --> 00:17:15.213 Right, whatever that looks like. 00:17:15.753 --> 00:17:17.478 We're not even giving God a time to answer. 00:17:18.560 --> 00:17:21.410 And we're just like, well, he doesn't answer my prayers, so I'm out. 00:17:21.410 --> 00:17:24.530 Like I'm out on God because he doesn't answer my prayers. 00:17:24.883 --> 00:17:25.483 Are you listening? 00:17:25.483 --> 00:17:28.423 Are you paying attention to what he's actually sending you and 00:17:28.423 --> 00:17:29.683 the love notes he's giving you? 00:17:30.343 --> 00:17:33.583 Because we just aren't in, sometimes we're not in a posture to receive it 00:17:34.453 --> 00:17:35.533 because we're not paying attention to it. 00:17:35.563 --> 00:17:42.163 We're not slowing down enough to be able to hear him or hear ourselves 00:17:42.163 --> 00:17:44.623 think of what's going on with me 00:17:45.583 --> 00:17:45.943 Mason: Yeah. 00:17:46.312 --> 00:17:49.192 So I feel like we've been saying that a lot when it's slow down. 00:17:49.942 --> 00:17:52.642 But Chris, give us some practical ways like, how we do 00:17:53.107 --> 00:17:53.407 Chris: Yeah. 00:17:53.726 --> 00:17:58.676 finding, like I was saying, find one or maybe two things that you've learned 00:17:58.676 --> 00:18:03.001 in recovery and just focus on that, not doing all of them all at once. 00:18:03.691 --> 00:18:07.501 Find one or two things that is like, you know what, I'm gonna focus on this for the 00:18:07.501 --> 00:18:11.551 next two weeks or the next three weeks, or whatever, and get really good at that. 00:18:11.911 --> 00:18:13.381 And then move on to the next thing 00:18:14.521 --> 00:18:16.411 and make, and then just add that into it. 00:18:16.411 --> 00:18:20.611 So if you look at that conferences, if you guys ever been to like a, a super cool 00:18:20.791 --> 00:18:22.621 motivational conference, it's awesome. 00:18:23.041 --> 00:18:26.011 And you, you're like, man, I'm gonna implement this and this and this, 00:18:26.011 --> 00:18:27.391 and this is like fricking amazing. 00:18:27.601 --> 00:18:28.651 And you walk away and you're like. 00:18:29.021 --> 00:18:30.101 I didn't implement shit. 00:18:32.351 --> 00:18:33.611 It's because it's too much. 00:18:34.181 --> 00:18:38.801 You gotta take one to two things, slow that down, one or two things, 00:18:38.801 --> 00:18:43.751 and implement that, and then add to the next one, and then add 00:18:43.751 --> 00:18:45.281 to the next one later, you know? 00:18:45.761 --> 00:18:48.101 And then all of a sudden you're like, Frick, I got sobriety. 00:18:48.101 --> 00:18:49.686 I got all sorts of things. 00:18:50.246 --> 00:18:50.576 Mason: Yeah. 00:18:50.925 --> 00:18:51.855 Sam: How does Doug say it? 00:18:51.855 --> 00:18:54.675 Slow down Slow down the 00:18:55.635 --> 00:18:56.385 Mason: And I think that can help. 00:18:56.385 --> 00:18:59.535 I think what, what you guys talked about meditation 00:19:00.315 --> 00:19:00.495 Chris: Yeah. 00:19:00.495 --> 00:19:00.585 From 00:19:01.635 --> 00:19:02.705 Mason: prayers being outside, 00:19:04.125 --> 00:19:04.995 Chris: Why do we meditate? 00:19:05.435 --> 00:19:06.875 Mason: I think exactly what you're saying. 00:19:06.875 --> 00:19:11.555 We meditate so we can slow down, understand, connect, I think what 00:19:11.555 --> 00:19:13.505 we were talking about earlier, connecting with ourselves, connecting 00:19:13.505 --> 00:19:14.530 with other, connecting with God, 00:19:14.530 --> 00:19:19.025 connecting and I think will help us to integrate more than one thing that helps 00:19:19.025 --> 00:19:20.210 us to slow down and be Whoa, whoa, whoa. 00:19:20.215 --> 00:19:21.745 Like don't get ahead of yourself. 00:19:22.595 --> 00:19:25.625 Focus on what I'm focusing I don't need to bring in all this stuff. 00:19:25.625 --> 00:19:29.105 At least that's what it would do Because I totally am guilty of what you're saying. 00:19:29.195 --> 00:19:31.085 Like I just bring in all this stuff. 00:19:31.085 --> 00:19:31.325 So 00:19:31.925 --> 00:19:34.595 Chris: Team meditation people are like, well, I'm not very good at meditating 00:19:34.595 --> 00:19:36.015 because my mind, my mind wanders. 00:19:36.875 --> 00:19:39.965 Well, now that's what you're supposed to do is all of a sudden you're like 00:19:40.085 --> 00:19:45.725 noticing your mind is wandering and then you're bringing yourself back, and then 00:19:45.785 --> 00:19:49.235 two minutes later your mind is wandering again and you're bringing yourself back. 00:19:49.265 --> 00:19:54.245 That is exactly what meditation is designed for to help you be self-aware 00:19:54.245 --> 00:19:55.595 of what's going on in your mind. 00:19:55.970 --> 00:19:56.270 Mason: Yeah. 00:19:57.440 --> 00:20:00.104 Sam: I like the word ponder like the word ponder because 00:20:00.164 --> 00:20:02.479 meditation I think a lot of people 00:20:04.639 --> 00:20:09.014 woowoo of meditation because of, because of the context the. 00:20:09.014 --> 00:20:10.544 connotation of that word. 00:20:11.144 --> 00:20:13.904 And I think the principle is, pondering 00:20:16.364 --> 00:20:17.459 and that looks different 00:20:17.474 --> 00:20:18.009 Chris: for I like that. 00:20:18.009 --> 00:20:18.249 Yeah. 00:20:18.879 --> 00:20:19.289 Love that. 00:20:19.514 --> 00:20:19.599 you 00:20:19.634 --> 00:20:23.564 Sam: don't have to sit in a room your thoughts. 00:20:23.564 --> 00:20:24.104 That's good. 00:20:24.104 --> 00:20:27.374 But there's a lot of I think most healthy 00:20:31.683 --> 00:20:38.598 yeah, I to be said You find ways to be still that So 00:20:38.598 --> 00:20:39.948 what's your way of being still? 00:20:39.948 --> 00:20:40.788 That's the principle. 00:20:40.788 --> 00:20:41.118 How are you 00:20:42.753 --> 00:20:45.573 Chris: That's why I like hiking so You can't, you can't just 00:20:45.711 --> 00:20:45.891 All 00:20:45.891 --> 00:20:48.801 of a sudden imagine yourself up onto the, the top of the peak. 00:20:48.801 --> 00:20:52.041 Yeah, no, it's gonna take you a little bit of time to get there and you got 00:20:52.041 --> 00:20:55.641 lots of time to process emotion and think about it while you're going up. 00:20:56.103 --> 00:20:58.188 Mason: I think the underlying thing as well 00:21:01.268 --> 00:21:03.033 that stillness, It's just connection. 00:21:03.713 --> 00:21:04.848 with yourself, connection with God. 00:21:05.478 --> 00:21:07.338 And that's what sometimes is hard and scary. 00:21:07.698 --> 00:21:07.938 Yeah. 00:21:08.028 --> 00:21:08.688 Is the connection with 00:21:09.498 --> 00:21:09.828 Chris: Totally. 00:21:10.038 --> 00:21:10.723 Mason: But it's so important to 00:21:11.198 --> 00:21:12.488 Sam: Well guys, we want to hear from you. 00:21:12.668 --> 00:21:18.218 What are you gonna do in your life to start slowing down the RPMs 00:21:18.458 --> 00:21:20.438 and take some time to be still? 00:21:20.678 --> 00:21:24.278 Email us, Chris sam@unashamedunafraid.com. 00:21:24.655 --> 00:21:25.285 Email us. 00:21:26.385 --> 00:21:26.635 Mason: email? 00:21:26.800 --> 00:21:28.150 Email me at Mason. 00:21:28.150 --> 00:21:30.070 seius1@gmail.com. 00:21:30.160 --> 00:21:34.120 That's S-E-L-J-A-A-S, the number1@gmail.com. 00:21:34.150 --> 00:21:34.960 Sam: Copy me and Chris. 00:21:34.960 --> 00:21:35.650 We want to hear about it. 00:21:35.650 --> 00:21:38.860 Guys, thank you for watching another episode of Live Unashamed. 00:21:39.520 --> 00:21:42.220 Find us on social media at unashamed unafraid. 00:21:42.250 --> 00:21:45.310 You can get access to our bonus content and become an outsider 00:21:45.460 --> 00:21:47.170 on unashamed unafraid.com. 00:21:47.410 --> 00:21:51.910 Remember to subscribe to our YouTube channel, and if this was helpful to you, 00:21:51.910 --> 00:21:53.710 it'll probably be helpful to someone else. 00:21:53.770 --> 00:21:55.780 So take some time right now to share it with a friend. 00:21:56.200 --> 00:21:59.985 Thanks again for watching and to tell next time, continue to live unashamed.