MARK: Welcome to 'Happening in Pocatello', the only podcast recorded in a room that smells like wet sagebrush and broken dreams. I'm Mark, your host for this descent into local madness, and I'm currently wondering which pothole on 5th is going to finally claim my front axle as a blood sacrifice. We're here because you've got nowhere else to go for news that actually matters to this wind-swept corner of Idaho, and honestly, neither do we. It's Monday, June 8, 2026, and if you haven't been blown over into the next county yet, consider yourself lucky.

JOLEEN: And I'm Joleen, the woman who brings you the news with a smile that's roughly eighty percent caffeine and twenty percent pure, unadulterated spite. It's a gorgeous day in Poky if you like your air with a side of gravel and your neighbors with a side of 'get off my lawn'. We've got a massive show for you today, so listen up you beautiful assholes. We're talking about everything from the latest ways to die in traffic to where you can get a decent salad that's basically just a bowl of oil. Before we jump into the absolute shit-show that is local politics, remember you can reach us at pocatello@thehappeningnetwork.com if you've got a gripe or a tip. Like, subscribe, and comment, or don't, but then don't bitch when you don't know why your street is closed for the next six months.

MARK: Let's start with the top headlines because apparently, staying alive in downtown Pocatello has become a high-stakes sport. Authorities have finally identified the victim in that Saturday night fatal crash in the historic district. It's a grim reminder that just because our speed limits are suggestions to some of you dickheads, physics doesn't actually care about your schedule. The police are still looking into whether speed or alcohol played a role, but let's be real, it's Pocatello on a Saturday night. I'm betting it wasn't a surplus of caution and herbal tea that led to this tragedy.

JOLEEN: It's always the same story, isn't it? Someone thinks they're Vin Diesel in a rusted-out Honda Civic and suddenly the downtown core is a crime scene. It's heartbreaking for the family, but the level of stupidity on our roads lately is reaching critical mass. In slightly less depressing news, the city is begging for your input on a mountain bike trail grant application. They want to expand the trails up in the hills, probably so more people can get stuck and require a search and rescue team to haul their spandex-clad asses back to civilization. If you've got an opinion on where the dirt should go, now's the time to speak up before they just pave over the whole mountain.

MARK: I love the idea of more trails, Joleen, mainly because it keeps the cyclists off the roads where they're currently playing chicken with semi-trucks. But you know exactly how this goes. The city asks for input, a bunch of retirees show up to complain that the bikes are scaring the deer, and then we end up with a trail that's three feet long and ends in a ditch. It's the Pocatello way. Speaking of things that end in a ditch, let's talk about the crime report for the week. Aside from the fatal crash, we've had a surge in what I like to call 'creative' theft. Apparently, someone decided that the copper wiring in the new streetlights was more of a suggestion than a utility.

JOLEEN: Oh, the copper thieves are back? That's just lovely. Nothing says 'thriving economy' like people risking electrocution for forty bucks worth of scrap metal. It's a real classy move, Pocatello. We also saw a string of car break-ins over by the university. Pro tip for the students: maybe don't leave your expensive laptops and three-day-old Taco Bell in plain sight on the passenger seat. It's like an invitation for every two-bit thief in the zip code. The police are 'investigating', which is code for 'we're busy trying to figure out who spray-painted a giant dick on the side of the water tower'.

MARK: To be fair, the water tower art was arguably an improvement on the city's current aesthetic. Moving on to School District 25, since graduation is over and the seniors are now officially someone else's problem, the focus has shifted to the Summer Food Service Program. It actually kicks off today, June 8th. They're offering free lunches to any kid under eighteen at seven different parks around town. It's a great program, truly, but I can't help but wonder if I could pass for a seventeen-year-old if I shaved and wore a backwards cap. Free lunch is free lunch, and inflation is a bitch.

JOLEEN: Mark, you haven't looked seventeen since the late nineties, so give it up. You'd just look like that 'how do you do, fellow kids' meme, and someone would definitely call the cops. But seriously, it's a vital service for a lot of families in our community. The schools are also starting to look at their budget for the next year, and you know what that means. More hand-wringing over every nickel while the administration buildings get a fresh coat of paint. It's the same dance every June. They'll talk about 'tough choices' while we all wonder why the classrooms still feel like they're from the Cold War era.

MARK: I'm sure they'll find the money somewhere, probably by cutting the 'teach kids how to not be assholes' program, which clearly isn't working anyway. Let's pivot to something that actually tastes good. For our restaurant review this week, we finally stopped by Buddy's Italian Restaurant. Now, if you haven't been to Buddy's, you aren't really from Pocatello. It's an institution. It's the kind of place where the decor hasn't changed since the Nixon administration and the salad is basically a swimming pool for iceberg lettuce. I ordered the lasagna, and I'm pretty sure I could feel my arteries hardening in real-time. It was magnificent.

JOLEEN: Oh, Buddy's. The only place where it's socially acceptable to drink a pint of oil and vinegar and call it a 'side salad'. I don't know what they put in that dressing, but it's more addictive than half the stuff the cops are seizing downtown. The breadsticks are basically just delivery vehicles for garlic butter, and I am here for it. It's not 'fine dining', and thank god for that. It's just honest, heavy, delicious food that makes you want to take a three-day nap immediately after paying the bill. If you're looking for a light, healthy meal, go somewhere else. If you want to hate yourself in the best way possible, Buddy's is the spot.

MARK: It's the garlic. They use enough garlic to keep every vampire in the Pacific Northwest at bay. I'm still sweating out the scent of it forty-eight hours later. Let's talk sports. The ISU Bengals are in that weird summer limbo where nothing's happening but everything's being planned. The football team is finalizing their recruiting class, and the coaches are all saying the usual things about 'building a culture' and 'grit'. I've seen enough Bengal football to know that 'grit' usually translates to 'we're going to try really hard to not lose by forty points'. But hey, hope springs eternal in June, right?

JOLEEN: You're such a dickhead about ISU sports, Mark. They've had a rough few years, sure, but the community still shows up. They're also hosting a bunch of youth sports camps this month, which is a great way for the university to make a few bucks while parents desperately try to get their kids out of the house. In other sports news, the local high school baseball scene wrapped up, and we had some solid showings. It's nice to see some local talent that isn't just focused on how to avoid the police. Those kids work hard, even if they're playing on fields that are more dust than grass half the time.

MARK: The dust adds character, Joleen. It builds character and gives you a permanent cough. Let's look at the community events coming up. This Wednesday, June 10th, we've got another 'Revive at 5' concert at Lookout Point. It's the perfect place to go if you want to stand in the sun, drink a luke-warm beer, and listen to a cover band play 'Don't Stop Believin' for the ten-thousandth time. I'm kidding, mostly. It's actually one of the few things in this town that makes it feel like a real city. Just watch out for the kids running around like feral animals near the fountain.

JOLEEN: The feral children are just a local charm, Mark. They're our future, which is a terrifying thought. But Revive at 5 is actually decent. It gets people out of their houses and into the sunshine, which is something a lot of folks here seem to avoid. And then on Saturday, we've got the Portneuf Valley Farmers Market. I love going there to pay eight dollars for a loaf of bread that I could make myself if I wasn't so incredibly lazy. But the produce is starting to get good. We're finally getting some local greens and maybe some early strawberries if the frost didn't kill everything last month.

MARK: The farmers market is the only place in town where you can see a guy with a six-inch beard selling organic honey and a woman in a 'Don't Tread On Me' shirt buying handmade soap. It's a beautiful intersection of Pocatello subcultures. For your weekend guide, if you're not into markets or music, I highly suggest hitting the trails. Just, you know, try not to be the headline for next week's 'man rescued from cliffside' story. The conditions are perfect right now--not too hot yet, and the rattlesnakes are still mostly sleepy. Just keep your eyes open and your bear spray handy, because this is Idaho, and everything wants to eat you.

JOLEEN: Nothing says 'relaxing weekend' like the constant threat of a mountain lion attack. You're a real salesman, Mark. If hiking isn't your thing, there's always the movie theater, which is currently playing the same five sequels that are playing everywhere else in the galaxy. Or you could just stay home and stare at your lawn, which is what most of my neighbors seem to do. If you do go out, make sure you've checked the weather, because as we all know, Pocatello weather is as stable as a caffeinated squirrel on a trampoline.

MARK: That brings us to the forecast for June 8th through the 15th. Today and tomorrow look pretty damn good, actually. Highs in the mid-seventies, mostly sunny, and the wind might actually stay below 'hurricane force' for a few hours. But don't get too comfortable. By Wednesday, we're looking at some scattered thunderstorms moving in. It's that classic Idaho spring-summer transition where the sky decides to throw a tantrum just because you planned a barbecue. Temperatures will dip into the sixties during the rain, so keep a jacket in the car unless you want to look like a shivering idiot.

JOLEEN: I'm already a shivering idiot, Mark, so the jacket is optional. The end of the week looks better, though. We're climbing back up into the high seventies by Friday and Saturday. It should be a perfect weekend for being outside, provided the smoke from whatever forest fire is starting in California doesn't drift our way yet. We're in that sweet spot where it's not a hundred degrees yet, so enjoy it while it lasts. By July, we'll all be complaining about how it's too hot to breathe and wishing for the rain we're bitching about right now.

MARK: It's the circle of life in the high desert. Speaking of things that suck, let's talk about road construction. The Center Street Underpass project is still the gift that keeps on giving. I drove through there the other day and I'm pretty sure I saw the same orange cone in three different positions. They're making progress, but in the same way a glacier makes progress. It's moving, sure, but you're going to die of old age before it's actually finished. If you can avoid the downtown core during peak hours, do yourself a favor and take the long way around. Your blood pressure will thank you.

JOLEEN: The long way around is also under construction, Mark! That's the trap! They've got work going on near the university, they've got utility stuff happening on the north end, it's like the city planners just threw a handful of darts at a map and said 'fuck this street in particular'. I'm convinced the orange cone industry has a lobbyist in the mayor's office. There's no other explanation for why we need to dig up the same stretch of road three years in a row. It's a miracle anyone gets anywhere in this town without having a nervous breakdown.

MARK: It's a jobs program, Joleen. One guy digs the hole, one guy watches, and three guys stand around talking about where they're going for lunch. It's the American dream. Finally, let's touch on the real estate market. If you're looking to buy a house in Pocatello right now, I hope you've got a rich uncle or a very successful side hustle in crypto. Prices are staying stubbornly high, even though interest rates are making everyone's eyes water. The median list price is still hovering around that three-hundred-and-sixty-thousand mark, which is insane for a town where the average salary is roughly four buttons and a piece of gum.

JOLEEN: It's absolute bullshit. I saw a house the other day that was basically a shed with a fancy mailbox, and they wanted three-hundred grand for it. Who's buying these? It's certainly not the people working local retail. We're seeing more inventory hitting the market, which should help, but the 'buyer's market' we keep hearing about feels more like a 'slightly less desperate seller's market'. If you're a first-time buyer, my advice is to keep saving and maybe consider living in a very nice tent down by the river. At least you won't have a mortgage that costs more than your soul.

MARK: The river view is nice until the spring runoff hits and your living room becomes a wetland. But hey, that's Pocatello for you. It's a mess, it's frustrating, it's windier than a politician's speech, but it's our home. We complain because we care, or maybe we just complain because there's nothing else to do. Either way, we're glad you joined us for another episode of 'Happening in Pocatello'. We'll be back later this week to tell you more about why you should probably stay inside and avoid eye contact with strangers.

JOLEEN: That's my secret for success, Mark. No eye contact, plenty of sarcasm, and a healthy dose of cynicism. Don't forget to hit that subscribe button, leave us a comment telling us how much you hate our voices, and send your hate mail to pocatello@thehappeningnetwork.com. We actually read that shit, so make it spicy. Thanks for listening, and try not to do anything stupid enough to end up in our crime report next week. Or do, it makes our job easier. Stay safe, you glorious bastards.

MARK: Before we sign off, I just want to address the guy who keeps leaving anonymous tips about the 'aliens' in the Chubbuck Walmart. We hear you, buddy, but unless they start paying property taxes or running for city council, they aren't news yet. Keep an eye out for those flying saucers, though. They're probably more reliable than the local bus system anyway. We've reached the end of our time, and I've got a date with a bowl of oily salad at Buddy's. Until next time, Pocatello, try to keep it together.

JOLEEN: One last thing--shout out to the person who planted those flowers in the median on South 5th. They'll be dead by Wednesday thanks to the wind, but it was a nice gesture for the forty-eight hours they survived. It's the little things, right? The tiny, fleeting, doomed little things. That's the Pocatello spirit in a nutshell. We love this shitty city, and we know you do too, or you wouldn't still be here listening to us ramble. Get out there, enjoy the seventy-degree weather while it lasts, and we'll talk to you soon.

MARK: If the wind doesn't take me first, I'll be here. Take care of yourselves and each other. Actually, just take care of yourselves, taking care of each other sounds like a lot of work and I'm not convinced most of you deserve it. I'm kidding. Mostly. Goodbye, Pocatello. Don't let the sugar beet trucks run you off the road on your way home.