Unknown: There is very little time or point in an explanation. To be blunt,
Unknown: the audio came from a timeline and dimension that has collapsed at a
Unknown: quantum level, rendering it null and void in terms of existence.
Unknown: Operational time in the dimensional continuum where the beings that created
Unknown: the audio collapsed in on itself, rendering all of their civilization,
Unknown: including technology, null and void. Timelines across the entire
Unknown: continuum are collapsing and changing. The destruction has a
Unknown: nexus that centers on Cinema PsyOps.
Peter Venkman: 10 years. Man 10.
Peter Venkman: 10 years.
Peter Venkman: 10 years. Man 10 years. 10 years.
Peter Venkman: 10. 10 years. 10 years.
Peter Venkman: What is the most likely way humanity. Cort: Will be wiped out? Peter Venkman: Maybe it's
Peter Venkman: something from or us. Although the way the world ends
Peter Venkman: might be because of you. And if this is the case, you wouldn't have
Peter Venkman: any control over it. The global temperature rise underscores a
Peter Venkman: chilling reality. Matt Ghostbuster: Our planet is trying to tell us something, but we
Matt Ghostbuster: don't seem to be listening. Peter Venkman: A recent study has suggested that one
Peter Venkman: third of animals deaths due to heat are directly related to global warming.
Unknown: On top of the initial flash of thermonuclear
Unknown: light, which is 180 million degrees, which catches every everything
Unknown: on fire in a nine mile diameter radius. On top of the
Unknown: bulldozing effect of the wind, all the buildings coming down,
Unknown: and more fires igniting more fires on top of the radiation
Unknown: if they happen to have survived poisoning people to death. On top of all
Unknown: that, each one of these fires creates a mega
Unknown: fire that is a hundred or more square miles.
Unknown: Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and changing.
Unknown: The destruction has a nexus that centers on Cinema Psyops.
Matt Ghostbuster: A breathtaking scientific revolution is taking place.
Peter Venkman: Biotechnology has been progressing at stunning speeds, giving us
Peter Venkman: the tools to eventually gain control over biology. Matt Ghostbuster: Solving the
Matt Ghostbuster: deadliest diseases while also creating. Peter Venkman: Viruses more dangerous
Peter Venkman: than nuclear bombs, able to devastate humanity.
Unknown: It's man returning to the most primal,
Unknown: violent state. As people fight over the tiny
Unknown: resources that remain. Peter Venkman: What if the world we live in is
Peter Venkman: just a dream or a simulation? Whether it's a dream or some advanced computer
Peter Venkman: game you are playing right now, when it ends, you would be what. Matt Ghostbuster: Causes the
Matt Ghostbuster: end of the world. Peter Venkman: Please do us all a favor. Continue dreaming or playing
Peter Venkman: this game of life. Because when you wake up or unplug, there's a
Peter Venkman: chance the rest of us will be blaked out of existence. Unknown: Timelines across
Unknown: the entire continuum are collapsing and changing. The destruction
Unknown: has a nexus that centers. Peter Venkman: On Cinema s 10
Peter Venkman: years. 10 years.
Cort: And welcome to the 483rd consecutive week of Cinema
Cort: Psyops. I'm your host, Cort, the guy that is super stoked for the
Cort: choice that we're covering this week from my co host, Matt Ghostbuster.
Cort: No, that's who you call the Ghostbusters.
Matt Ghostbuster: That's right, man. Fucking into it, dude. Cort: Just finding songs
Cort: from the soundtrack which, spoiler alert, we're doing Ghostbusters this week.
Cort: Next week is Ghostbusters 2 and I found the soundtracks for both
Cort: of them and I was pulling out specific songs from specific scenes.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. Cort: That always just like were like the ones that hit for me or like
Cort: the scenes that really worked. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, yeah. Especially Ghostbusters
Matt Ghostbuster: 1, man. In between. Their scenes there. In between songs are awesome.
Cort: Yeah. There's a couple of them where they cut out some things. Like, for instance,
Cort: the song Magic is going to be one of the songs that's going to be
Cort: played. Matt Ghostbuster: Oh, God. That was the way they used it in the scene that it's
Matt Ghostbuster: in. It's awesome. Cort: Right? But that's like the back half of that
Cort: song. So I'm like halfway tempted to only use the back half of
Cort: the song because that's the part that I. Everybody knows from that cool scene.
Matt Ghostbuster: Right. Cort: But I won't. Everybody has to suffer through
Cort: the front half of the song, which is a lot more poppy and doesn't have
Cort: that cool. Like, I believe it's magic creeping after
Cort: it. Matt Ghostbuster: Right. Yeah, dude. Cort: I am stoked. I don't
Cort: want to really waste the time with the front end palm. Really. I think we
Cort: should just fucking get into it because we're going to be talking Ghostbusters quite a
Cort: bit. I think we're going to go quite a bit. Matt Ghostbuster: I also got a billion
Matt Ghostbuster: clips, so we should probably get going. Cort: Yeah. I beat you by three clips.
Cort: And some of my clips are like twice, if not three times as long as
Cort: some of yours for Ghostbusters too. So don't feel bad. Matt Ghostbuster: Jesus.
Cort: Yeah, yeah. I may be the only person on the planet that
Cort: deeply loves Ghostbusters too, I think. Matt Ghostbuster: I mean,
Matt Ghostbuster: I like it, but. I mean, I like other ones better, but yeah,
Matt Ghostbuster: it's still good. Cort: Right, Right. That's why I chose to do Ghostbusters 2.
Cort: That and they were your picks. And there's no way I'm taking Ghostbusters from you.
Cort: That's just not happening. Matt Ghostbuster: You can't do that to me, man.
Cort: No. I may want to cause you pain, but not that kind of pain.
Cort: All right, so let's go ahead and take the break here. We'll stop fucking about.
Cort: We're going to play the Legion Patreon ad and on the pirate radio edit immediate
Cort: following. That is the bus boys with cleaning up the town.
Unknown: By now you have undoubtedly realized that terrifying elements have
Unknown: shifted into place. I wish I knew the words to offer you some comfort
Unknown: in these dark realizations. If my calculations are correct, then Kourt
Unknown: and Matt will be talking about Ghostbusters for the show. This will intrude upon
Unknown: Kourt will put on a brave face and pretend while doing the show that he
Unknown: is not slowly dying inside and covering up his fragile mental state with
Unknown: what seems like endless tattoo appointments. Matt will obviously say
Unknown: whatever thing that comes in his mind the second it does until the day he
Unknown: is no longer alive. This is where many timelines change and diverge
Unknown: while things seem to get infinitely darker. You will begin to question
Unknown: just how much more exceedingly stupid your reality can become when this happens.
Unknown: Take comfort in knowing that the stupider a timeline is, the longer it
Unknown: seems to persist in existing. We haven't found concrete evidence
Unknown: that can survive peer review on this, but there is enough observed evidence
Unknown: to suggest that the more unstable and downright ludicrous a reality is
Unknown: malleable enough to become, the more flexibility it is able to
Unknown: offer in better bouncing back to a normalized state. On a personal
Unknown: note, if this were some sort of video feed, instead of two hideous
Unknown: fucking chuds hiding behind radio show voices, we would have done
Unknown: a demonstration of this reality snap using rubber bands
Unknown: where one is older and more rigid and snaps, but the other is super
Unknown: flexible and holds up. We have found that this visual aid helps sell the idea
Unknown: and tends to make you not question bad ideas and writing. It's like
Unknown: punching a hole through a piece of paper to talk about wormholes. It is
Unknown: classic lazy story telling. Sorry I sometimes ramble as
Unknown: I I have spent far too much time alone processing this
Unknown: weird shit and it is starting to get to me. The point is that there
Unknown: is more hope in living through the dumbest timelines possible than what it feels like
Unknown: while stuck in them. No story is as outrageous and stupid as your
Unknown: reality, so at least you know there is no author deciding what
Unknown: will happen. Logically speaking, no self respecting author
Unknown: would try to write a story as dumb as your reality turns out to be.
Unknown: So there must not be anyone behind the keys on this one and you
Unknown: can be sure you are a real person. Like I said earlier,
Unknown: I have been processing this kind of weird shit alone for too long.
Unknown: Try not to question your existence too much and enjoy the dim witted dipshits
Unknown: talking about Ghostbusters. Cort: You were talking about that kick ass music
Cort: in the in between scenes and I think I Deleted. Right there with cleaning up
Cort: the time. Peter Venkman: Yeah. Matt Ghostbuster: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely.
Cort: Well, why don't we go to the actual review of Ghostbusters? Matt Ghostbuster: Let's just get
Matt Ghostbuster: started. All right, so we start. We open up at the New
Matt Ghostbuster: York Library. And a woman's going through things. We see books start
Matt Ghostbuster: moving and shit. And then all of a sudden, the cards start flipping
Matt Ghostbuster: out, freaking out. She's running. You see this bright purple light in
Matt Ghostbuster: her face and wind, and she screams. And then we get the Ghostbusters
Matt Ghostbuster: logo. This leads to Dr. Peter Veikman running a
Matt Ghostbuster: study where he's having a girl and a guy guess
Matt Ghostbuster: on some cards what what they think is on there. And the
Matt Ghostbuster: guy's guessing wrong and he buzzes him and the girl's guessing wrong and
Matt Ghostbuster: he's not buzzing her. Then he gets out of. The guy actually guesses right and
Matt Ghostbuster: he still says he's wrong. Buzzes him. The guy gets pissed and walks
Matt Ghostbuster: out. This leads to our very first clip. Peter Venkman: It's a kind that
Peter Venkman: your ability is going to provoke in some people. Do you think I have
Peter Venkman: it, Dr. Venkman? You're no fluke, Jennifer.
Peter Venkman: This is it. This is definitely it. See those UV
Peter Venkman: lenses come in for the video camera. And that blank tape, I need it.
Peter Venkman: The one you erased yesterday. Will you excuse me for a second? Right in
Peter Venkman: the middle of something. Ray. I need a little more time with this subject.
Peter Venkman: Could you come back in an hour, hour and a half? Peter.
Peter Venkman: At 1:40pm at the main branch of the New York Public Library
Peter Venkman: on Fifth Avenue, 10 people witnessed a free
Peter Venkman: floating, full torso, vaporous apparition. It blew books off shelves from
Peter Venkman: 20ft away and scared the socks off some poor librarian. I'm very
Peter Venkman: excited. I'm very pleased. I want you to get right down there,
Peter Venkman: check it out and get back to me. Matt Ghostbuster: No, no. Peter Venkman: Get right back to me.
Peter Venkman: No, Peter, you're coming with us on this one. Spengler went down there. He took
Peter Venkman: PKE valances. Went right off the top of the scale. Buried the
Peter Venkman: needle. We're close on this one. I can feel it.
Peter Venkman: I can feel it. We're very, very close. I have to
Peter Venkman: go now, Jennifer, but I'd like to work with you some more. Perhaps you could
Peter Venkman: come back this evening. Say it. 8:00. I was just going to say
Peter Venkman: 8:00. You are a legitimate phenomenon.
Peter Venkman: As a friend, I have to tell you, you've finally gone around the bend on
Peter Venkman: this ghost business. You guys been running your ass off meeting
Peter Venkman: and greeting every schizo in the Five bros. Who says he has a paranormal experience?
Peter Venkman: What have you seen? Of course you forget, Peter. I was present at an
Peter Venkman: undersea, unexplained mass sponge migration.
Peter Venkman: Ray, the sponge is migrated about a foot and a half.
Egon Spengler: Oh, you're here. Yeah. Peter Venkman: What has he got? Egon Spengler: This is big, Peter. This is
Egon Spengler: very big. There's definitely something here. Peter Venkman: Egon, this reminded me
Peter Venkman: of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. Remember that?
Egon Spengler: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me. Peter Venkman: I'm Roger Delacourt.
Peter Venkman: Are you the men from the university? Yes. I'm Dr. Venkman.
Peter Venkman: Dr. Stantz. Egon. Thank you for coming.
Peter Venkman: I hope we can clear this up quickly and quietly. Let's not rush
Peter Venkman: things. We don't even know what you have yet.
Dana Barrett: I don't remember seeing any legs, but it definitely had arms because
Dana Barrett: it reached out for me. Peter Venkman: Arms. I can't wait to get a look at
Peter Venkman: this thing. Alice, I'm gonna ask you a couple of standard questions,
Peter Venkman: okay? Have you or any member of your family ever been diagnosed schizophrenic,
Peter Venkman: mentally incompetent? Dana Barrett: My uncle thought he was St.
Dana Barrett: Jerome. Peter Venkman: I'd call that a big yes.
Peter Venkman: Uh, are you habitually using drugs, stimulants,
Peter Venkman: alcohol? Dana Barrett: No. Peter Venkman: No. Just asking.
Peter Venkman: Are you, Alice, Menstruating. Right. Know. What has
Peter Venkman: that got to do with it? Back off,
Peter Venkman: man. I'm a scientist. Egon Spengler: Ray, it's moving.
Matt Ghostbuster: Come on. Cort: How much
Cort: you want to bet that when he asked her if she was menstruating, it was
Cort: because he was about to hit on her? Matt Ghostbuster: I don't know about her, but I
Matt Ghostbuster: think it's just because he's, you know, he's Peter Vman.
Matt Ghostbuster: He's. He's an. Cort: He's a pig. Matt Ghostbuster: He is a pig.
Matt Ghostbuster: He's an. Cort: Does not age well post meet
Cort: at all? Matt Ghostbuster: No, not at all. Not at all. You know,
Matt Ghostbuster: I mean, there are a lot of people who don't eat well, these.
Cort: Yeah, a lot of characters. But Venkman in particular, if he's really
Cort: greasy. I mean, he was always supposed to be this greasy, but they were supposed
Cort: to also be trying to make it charming. And I don't find it charming.
Cort: He just feels really sleazy to me now. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, well, it's Bill Murray, so I
Matt Ghostbuster: kind of find it charming. So, anyhow, they go downstairs and
Matt Ghostbuster: they find the slime and they're collected it. And that's kind of a funny
Matt Ghostbuster: little gag. With Bill Murray, it's always funny.
Matt Ghostbuster: Venkman, being the cool guy, is the one who has to deal with the slime
Matt Ghostbuster: the most in this movie, I.
Cort: Think he's the most useless scientist. So they always put him
Cort: on the collection duties. Like, I think Egon is condescending him when he does
Cort: that. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, Yeah, I think so.
Matt Ghostbuster: So then they find the book stacked. You know,
Matt Ghostbuster: he's just kind of fucking around. Peter is.
Matt Ghostbuster: Because he doesn't believe in any of this stuff. Cort: No human being stack books
Cort: like this, right? Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. Peter Venkman: Yeah. Matt Ghostbuster: Well, then the bookshelf falls right
Matt Ghostbuster: behind him. And then he looks at Ray and goes. It's never happened to you
Matt Ghostbuster: before? First time with the bookshelf falls.
Matt Ghostbuster: Anyway, as I go through the PKE meters going crazy,
Matt Ghostbuster: they come about and they see a full bodied apparition.
Matt Ghostbuster: Which leads to our next clip. Peter Venkman: A full torso apparition.
Peter Venkman: And it's real. So what do we do?
Peter Venkman: Could you come over here and talk to me for a second, please? Would you
Peter Venkman: just come over here for a second, please? Right over here. Come here,
Peter Venkman: Francine. Come here. What are we doing?
Peter Venkman: I don't know. What do you think? Stop that.
Peter Venkman: We've gotta make contact. One of us should actually try to speak to it.
Egon Spengler: Good idea. Peter Venkman: Hello, I'm Peter.
Peter Venkman: Where are you from? Originally.
Peter Venkman: All right. Okay. The usual stuff isn't working.
Peter Venkman: Okay, I have a plan. I know exactly what
Peter Venkman: to do. Now stay close. Stay close. I know.
Peter Venkman: Do exactly as I said. Say, get ready.
Peter Venkman: Ready. Cort: Get her.
Matt Ghostbuster: You see it? Peter Venkman: What was it? We'll get back to you.
Cort: What?
Peter Venkman: Get her. That was your whole plan. Get her.
Peter Venkman: We're scientific. I. I just got over excited. I need.
Peter Venkman: But, but wasn't it incredible? I mean, we actually touched the etheric
Peter Venkman: plane. You know what this could mean at the university. Yeah. Gonna be bigger than
Peter Venkman: a microchip, Ray. I'm very excited. Egon Spengler: I wouldn't say the experience was completely wasted.
Egon Spengler: According to these new readings, I think we have an excellent chance of actually catching
Egon Spengler: a ghost and holding it indefinitely. Peter Venkman: Well, this is great. If the ionization
Peter Venkman: rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we could really bust some heads.
Peter Venkman: In a spiritual sense, of course. Bangs, you serious about this? Catching your goal?
Egon Spengler: I'm always serious, Egan. Peter Venkman: I'm going to take back
Peter Venkman: some of the things I said about you.
Peter Venkman: You've earned it. The possibilities are limitless.
Peter Venkman: Hey, Dean Yeager. I trust you're moving us
Peter Venkman: to better quarters on campus. No, you are being moved off campus.
Peter Venkman: The Board of Regents has decided to terminate your grant. You ought
Peter Venkman: to vacate these premises immediately. This is preposterous.
Peter Venkman: I demand an explanation. Fine. This university
Peter Venkman: Will no longer continue any funding of any kind for your group's
Peter Venkman: activities. But the kids love us.
Peter Venkman: Dr. Venkman, we believe that the purpose
Peter Venkman: of science is to serve mankind. You,
Peter Venkman: however, seem to regard science as some kind of dodge or hustle.
Peter Venkman: Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe. Your methods
Peter Venkman: are sloppy and your conclusions are highly questioned. You are a
Peter Venkman: poor scientist, Dr. Finger. I see.
Peter Venkman: And you have no place in this department or in this university.
Peter Venkman: This is a major disgrace. Forget MIT or Stanford now.
Peter Venkman: They wouldn't touch us with a 10 meter cattle prod. You're always so concerned
Peter Venkman: about your reputation. Einstein did his best stuff when he was working as a
Peter Venkman: patent clerk. You know how much a patent clerk earns? No. Personally,
Peter Venkman: I like the university. They gave us money and facilities we didn't have to produce.
Peter Venkman: You've never been out of college. You don't know what it's like out there.
Peter Venkman: I've worked in the private sector. They expect results.
Peter Venkman: For whatever reasons, Ray, call it faith,
Peter Venkman: call it Locke, call it karma. I believe that
Peter Venkman: everything happens for a reason. I believe that we were
Peter Venkman: destined to get thrown out of this dump. For what purpose?
Peter Venkman: To go into business for ourselves.
Peter Venkman: This ecto containment system that Spengler and I have in mind is going to require
Peter Venkman: a load of bread to capitalize. Where are we going to get the money?
Peter Venkman: I don't know. I don't know.
Peter Venkman: Never going to regret this, Ray. My parents left me that house.
Peter Venkman: I was born there. You're not going to lose the house. Everybody has
Peter Venkman: three mortgages nowadays. But at 19%. You didn't even bargain with the
Peter Venkman: guy. Egon Spengler: Ray, for your information, the interest rate alone for the first
Egon Spengler: five years comes to 95,000. Peter Venkman: Will you guys
Peter Venkman: relax? We are on the threshold of establishing the indispensable
Peter Venkman: defense science of the next decade. Professional paranormal investigations
Peter Venkman: and eliminations. The franchise rights alone will
Peter Venkman: make us rich beyond our wildest dreams. There's office
Peter Venkman: space, sleeping quarters and showers. Dana Barrett: On the next floor. And there's a full
Dana Barrett: kitchen on the top level. Peter Venkman: It just seems a little pricey for a unique fixer
Peter Venkman: upper opportunity, that's all. What do you think,
Peter Venkman: Egon? Egon Spengler: I think this building should be condemned.
Egon Spengler: There's serious metal fatigue in all the load bearing members. The wiring
Egon Spengler: is substandard. It's completely inadequate for our power needs.
Egon Spengler: And the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone. Peter Venkman: Hey,
Peter Venkman: does this pole still work?
Peter Venkman: Wow, this place is great. When can we
Peter Venkman: move in? You gotta try this pole. I'm gonna get my
Peter Venkman: stuff. Hey, we should stay here tonight.
Peter Venkman: Sleep Here, you know, to try it out.
Peter Venkman: I think we'll take it. Good. Cort: I love the way that
Cort: Dan Aykroyd plays his character in this
Cort: Ray stance is very childlike and full of wonder and
Cort: just wants to know as much as he can. And the more terrifying and awful
Cort: something is, the more he is fascinated and just so into
Cort: learning more about it that he can be. Matt Ghostbuster: He's way into the cult,
Matt Ghostbuster: I mean. Cort: Right, right. Like, Egon is like, the more grounded one.
Cort: Like, this is something that Reitman did, and it's a formula he came up with
Cort: after this film or because of this film. And there's
Cort: always a character that's the heart. There's always the character that's the head, and then
Cort: there's the character that's always like the impulse control issues
Cort: in Reitman's movies. Egon Spengler: Yeah. Cort: He always does this with a trifecta.
Cort: Right. And that's what these three guys are. Raise the
Cort: Heart. Egon is obviously the head, and Peter
Cort: Venkman is obviously the lack of impulse control type character,
Cort: or the one that just blurts out whatever's on his mind.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. Peter is obviously the seller,
Matt Ghostbuster: like the salesman, and he'll be able to find out
Matt Ghostbuster: what's going on with the company. Cort: The carnival talker, the bullshit.
Cort: Yes, that's him. Yeah, he's the suave. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, yeah,
Matt Ghostbuster: he's suave. Yeah. Raise the Heart. He's what the
Matt Ghostbuster: Ghostbusters embody. And then, yeah, Egon's is the brain
Matt Ghostbuster: of the operation, and Winston, he's me. He's in it for a paycheck.
Cort: Winston is both of us. That's one of the conversations that we've always had.
Cort: And when we get to Winston, I want to really actually kind of talk about
Cort: that a little bit more. I mean, we're always going to be getting ahead
Cort: of the game because we love this movie so much. We're just going to talk
Cort: about it like little kids. Right? Matt Ghostbuster: Yes, of course. Cort: We can move on.
Cort: Sorry. I just needed to point that out because it's very apparent in that clip
Cort: where Ray, like, their roles are very apparent, you know? Matt Ghostbuster: Yes,
Matt Ghostbuster: exactly. Yeah. I always laugh because I always think
Matt Ghostbuster: that's part of the reason why they make Peter talk to the ghost is he
Matt Ghostbuster: is the ladies man. Cort: I think it's just because he's
Cort: the suave talker and also. Matt Ghostbuster: Exactly. So he's the one who has
Matt Ghostbuster: to. Because I love. He's like, where are you from originally? Then he
Matt Ghostbuster: go back, he goes, all right, guys, usual stuff ain't working.
Cort: Yeah, I Also, really, like, the one thing that I like
Cort: about this, too, is the fact that Peter has a complete inability
Cort: to take the temperature of the room. Like, when he should be terrified,
Cort: his body reacts the exact opposite way. And he gets more cocky
Cort: and full of, like, confidence, which makes him,
Cort: like, perfect to be the front man for a lot of their shit. And we
Cort: gotta stop doing this. We're going too deep here. Matt Ghostbuster: We're going way
Matt Ghostbuster: too deep. Because it's like, how they all handle fear is, like,
Matt Ghostbuster: pretty much just, oh, fuck it, whatever. Let's just go.
Cort: But they all have their own ways of, like, supplanting it. Ray's very childlike.
Cort: He gets super excited. Matt Ghostbuster: Yep. Egon is trying to
Matt Ghostbuster: figure it out. Cort: Right. Like, he basically can't. When he. When he
Cort: gets scared, he still tries to rationalize and get his shit together.
Cort: But the thing that's the best is Bill Murray's character has nothing but his bravado.
Cort: So he basically is like a D and D bard who is always rolling a
Cort: nat20 every time he interacts with anything, and he starts bullshitting.
Matt Ghostbuster: That is exactly right. That's the best way to put it. He's a Bo hard
Matt Ghostbuster: on the team, and he constantly rolls Nat 20s. Cort: Yeah.
Cort: Yeah, absolutely. Matt Ghostbuster: That's good stuff. Yeah. Cort: That's his main weapon is his
Cort: mouth. Because he. Peter Venkman: He. Cort: Yeah, he infuriates everything they
Cort: come up against to the point where they're off their game because they're just so
Cort: pissed at him being such a petulant child. At them. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. And also,
Matt Ghostbuster: he's fucking. He never stops. You know, he's always fucking.
Matt Ghostbuster: And he. Like, it could be the most dire situation. And you
Matt Ghostbuster: would think he's like, no, I got this handled. And that pisses everyone off.
Peter Venkman: Yeah. Matt Ghostbuster: The worst going up against him. Cort: The worse thing that they face,
Cort: the more mouthy he gets. And it's awesome. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah.
Matt Ghostbuster: Always, always. And he always gets mouthy at them or at
Matt Ghostbuster: his own teammates. Peter Venkman: Right. Cort: Like, he just gets more mouth. Okay, we gotta. We gotta
Cort: move on. Let's go. Matt Ghostbuster: All right. We gotta go. Yeah. This is gonna be forever.
Matt Ghostbuster: All right. So then we cut to the Central
Matt Ghostbuster: park west beautiful apartment of Miss Dana Barrett. And as
Matt Ghostbuster: she's walking in, we get the incomparable Rick Moranis in
Matt Ghostbuster: our next clip. Peter Venkman: Hi. Yes. Loose. It's. I thought it was a drugstore.
Dana Barrett: Oh, are you sick? Peter Venkman: Oh, no, no, I'm fine. I feel great. Just ordered
Peter Venkman: some more vitamins and stuff. I was just exercising. I taped 20 Minute Workout
Peter Venkman: on my machine and played it back at High speed, so it only took 10
Peter Venkman: minutes. I got a great workout. Good. You want to come in for a mineral
Peter Venkman: water? Dana Barrett: Oh, I'd really like to, Louis, but I have to go to rehearsal now.
Dana Barrett: Excuse me. Peter Venkman: No sweat. I'll take a rain check on that. I always have plenty
Peter Venkman: of low sodium mineral water and other nutritious foods in the house. But you already
Peter Venkman: know that. Dana Barrett: Yeah, I know that. Peter Venkman: Listen, that reminds. Reminds me I'm having a big
Peter Venkman: party for all my clients. My fourth anniversary as an accountant, you know,
Peter Venkman: and even though you do your own tax return, which you shouldn't do, I'd like
Peter Venkman: you to stop by, being that you're my neighbor and all. Dana Barrett: Well, thank you,
Dana Barrett: Louis. I'll really try to stop by. Peter Venkman: Listen, that reminds me. You shouldn't leave
Peter Venkman: your TV on so loud when you go out to creep down the hall,
Peter Venkman: phone the manager. Dana Barrett: That's strange. I didn't realize I left it on. Peter Venkman: Oh,
Peter Venkman: yeah. You know what I did? I climbed on the ledge and tried to disconnect
Peter Venkman: the camera, but I couldn't get in. So you know what I did? I turned
Peter Venkman: up my TV real loud, too. So everyone would think that both our TV said
Peter Venkman: something wrong with the. Okay, so I'll see you later,
Peter Venkman: huh? I'll give you a call. I'm gonna have a shower. Cort: I sometimes
Cort: feel that I am Rick Moranis in situations. Like I just feel
Cort: like I'm. I make everyone feel as awkward as Rick Moranis
Cort: makes us feel when he's on screen in this movie. Matt Ghostbuster: And the running gig is
Matt Ghostbuster: he's constantly getting locked out of his apartment. Cort: And the physical
Cort: comedy that he does in this, it's Rick Moranis returning to, like,
Cort: SCTV time with this. Matt Ghostbuster: It was so much.
Matt Ghostbuster: Especially when he gets. And you'll hear it because
Matt Ghostbuster: I clipped it when he gets possess. That is so him from sctv.
Cort: Yeah. Matt Ghostbuster: Like a ton of his characters, right? Cort: Absolutely. And it's so wonderful
Cort: to see here. Just on full display at its best. Glory again. We got to
Cort: stop. We got to move on. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, yeah. Right. Jesus Christ. So she goes into
Matt Ghostbuster: her apartment in the Ghostbusters commercials on. She goes to
Matt Ghostbuster: her kitchen and the eggs start popping on their own and.
Cort: Frying on the counter. Matt Ghostbuster: On the counter. Cort: Yeah.
Matt Ghostbuster: And then she hears a noise coming from her fridge, opens it up.
Matt Ghostbuster: There we see the demon dogs, and a lot of them say zool.
Matt Ghostbuster: And she closes the frid fridge and abject terror.
Matt Ghostbuster: Because, you know, one does do that. When that happens,
Matt Ghostbuster: those of us that. Cort: Have done illicit hallucinogenic drugs of a Weaponized
Cort: nature are used to seeing things like that in our fridge and can move on
Cort: after we've selected the item we were looking for. Matt Ghostbuster: I mean, listen, sometimes you just
Matt Ghostbuster: gotta get done with it, you know? Cort: Yeah. I mean, some of us get used
Cort: to watching our grandmother in miniature form. That's somewhat of a zombie crawling
Cort: up our leg with a knife, clutch between her teeth, screaming, why don't you eat
Cort: my cookies? Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, I don't think everyone has that. And you probably need to
Matt Ghostbuster: schedule time for another tattoo. Cort: Yeah, that's probably for the best.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. After that, we cut back to the new Ghostbusters headquarters
Matt Ghostbuster: being set up. And that is our next clip. Peter Venkman: You don't think it's
Peter Venkman: too subtle, Marty? You don't think people are going to drive down and not
Peter Venkman: see the sign? You can't park that
Peter Venkman: air. Everybody can relax. I found the car.
Peter Venkman: Need some suspension work and shocks and brakes,
Peter Venkman: brake pads, lining, steering box, transmission, rear end. How much?
Peter Venkman: Only 4800. Maybe new rings, also mufflers, a little wiring.
Peter Venkman: Janine, any calls? Janine Melnitz: No. Peter Venkman: Any messages?
Janine Melnitz: No. Peter Venkman: Any customers?
Janine Melnitz: No, Dr. Venkman. Peter Venkman: It's a good job, isn't it?
Peter Venkman: Type something. Well, you were paying for this stuff. Don't stare at me.
Peter Venkman: You got the bug eyes. Janine.
Peter Venkman: Sorry about the bug eyes thing. I'll be in my office. Janine Melnitz: Very handy I
Janine Melnitz: can take. I bet you like to read a lot too.
Egon Spengler: Print is dead. Janine Melnitz: Oh, that's very fascinating, Timmy.
Janine Melnitz: I read a lot myself. Some people think I'm too intellectual but I
Janine Melnitz: think it's a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play racquetball.
Janine Melnitz: Do you have any hobbies? Egon Spengler: I collect spores,
Egon Spengler: molds and fungus.
Dana Barrett: Hello? Oh,
Dana Barrett: excuse me. Is this. This is the Ghost. Janine Melnitz: Yes,
Janine Melnitz: it is. Can I help you? Dana Barrett: I don't have an
Dana Barrett: appointment. I'd like to talk to someone, please.
Peter Venkman: I'm Peter Venkman. May I help you?
Dana Barrett: Well, I don't know. What I have to say may
Dana Barrett: sound a little unusual. Peter Venkman: That's all we get, day in,
Peter Venkman: day out around this place. Come into my office, Miss. Dana Barrett: Barrett. Dana Barrett.
Dana Barrett: And this voice said, zool. And then I slammed the refrigerator
Dana Barrett: door and I left. That was two days ago, and I. I haven't been back
Dana Barrett: to my apartment. Peter Venkman: Generally, you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.
Peter Venkman: What do you think it was? Dana Barrett: Well, if I knew what it was, I wouldn't
Dana Barrett: be here. Peter Venkman: Egon, what do you think? Egon Spengler: She's telling the
Egon Spengler: truth. At least she thinks she is. Dana Barrett: Well, of course
Dana Barrett: I'm telling The truth. Who would make up a story like that?
Peter Venkman: Some are people who just want attention. Others, just nutballs who come in off the
Peter Venkman: street. You know what it could be? Past life experience intruding
Peter Venkman: on present time. Egon Spengler: Could be race memory stored in the collective unconscious.
Egon Spengler: That wouldn't rule out clairvoyance or telepathic contact, either.
Dana Barrett: I'm sorry, I don't believe in any of those things. Peter Venkman: Well, that's all
Peter Venkman: right. I don't either. But there are some
Peter Venkman: things we do, standard procedures in a case like this, which often bring us
Peter Venkman: results. Well, I could go to hall of Records and check out the structural details
Peter Venkman: in the building. Maybe the building itself has a history of psychic turbulence.
Egon Spengler: Right. Peter Venkman: Good idea. Egon Spengler: I could look for the name Zool in the usual literature.
Egon Spengler: Spate's catalog, Tobin Spirit Guide. Cort: Yeah. Peter Venkman: Tell you What.
Peter Venkman: I'll take Ms. Barrett back to her apartment and check her out. I'll go
Peter Venkman: check out Ms. Barrett's apartment, okay?
Dana Barrett: Okay. Unknown: Thank you.
Matt Ghostbuster: Okay. Peter Venkman: Excuse. Let me.
Peter Venkman: If something's gonna happen here, I want it to happen to me first.
Dana Barrett: It's the closet.
Peter Venkman: I hate this. I like to torture them.
Peter Venkman: That's right, boys, it's Dr. Venkman.
Egon Spengler: A lot of space. Peter Venkman: Just you?
Dana Barrett: Yes. Peter Venkman: Good. Dana Barrett: What is that thing you're
Dana Barrett: doing? Peter Venkman: It's technical. It's one of our little toys.
Dana Barrett: I see. That's the bedroom. But nothing ever
Dana Barrett: happened in there. Peter Venkman: What a crime.
Dana Barrett: You know, you don't act like a scientist. Peter Venkman: They're usually
Peter Venkman: pretty stiff. Dana Barrett: You're more like a game show host.
Peter Venkman: That's the kitchen, huh? Dana, are these the eggs?
Peter Venkman: Yes. Dana Barrett: You see, I was over there, and these eggs just jumped right out of
Dana Barrett: their shells and started to cook on the counter. Peter Venkman: That is weird. Dana Barrett: And that's when
Dana Barrett: I start to hear that awful noise coming from the refrigerator. Dr. Beckman,
Dana Barrett: you've come all this way. Would you like to check the refrigerator? Peter Venkman: Better check
Peter Venkman: the fridge. Good call. Oh,
Peter Venkman: my God. Look at all the junk
Peter Venkman: food. No. Dana Barrett: God damn it, Look. This wasn't you.
Peter Venkman: Actually, look. Dana Barrett: This wasn't here. There was nothing here. There was a space,
Dana Barrett: and there was a building or something with flames coming out of it, and there
Dana Barrett: were creatures writhing around, and they were growling and snarling,
Dana Barrett: and there were flames, and I heard a voice say, zul.
Dana Barrett: It was right here. Peter Venkman: I'm sorry, I'm just not getting any
Peter Venkman: reading. Dana Barrett: Well, are you sure you're using that thing correctly?
Peter Venkman: There's not. I think so. But I'm sure there are no animals in there.
Dana Barrett: Well, that's great. Either I have a Monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy?
Peter Venkman: I don't think you're crazy. Oh, good. Dana Barrett: That makes
Dana Barrett: me feel so much better.
Peter Venkman: Let me tell you something about myself. I come home from work to my place,
Peter Venkman: and all I have is my work. There's nothing else in my life. I meet
Peter Venkman: you and I say, my God, there's someone with the same problem I
Peter Venkman: have. Dana Barrett: Yes, we both have the same problem. You. Peter Venkman: I'm gonna go
Peter Venkman: for broken. I am madly
Peter Venkman: in love with you. Dana Barrett: I don't believe this. Will you please leave?
Peter Venkman: And then she threw me out of her life. She thought I was a creep.
Peter Venkman: She thought I was a geek. And she probably wasn't the first.
Dana Barrett: You are so odd.
Peter Venkman: No, I've got it. Dana Barrett: No, no, no, no.
Peter Venkman: I'll prove myself to you. Dana Barrett: It's not necessary.
Peter Venkman: Here. I'll solve your little problem, okay?
Peter Venkman: And then you'll say, pete Venkman's a guy who can get things done.
Dana Barrett: Right. Peter Venkman: I wonder what makes him tick. Dana Barrett: I wonder. Peter Venkman: I wonder if he'd be
Peter Venkman: interested in knowing what makes me tick. Dana Barrett: Right. Peter Venkman: I'll bet you're gonna be thinking about
Peter Venkman: me after I'm gone. Dana Barrett: I bet I am.
Peter Venkman: No kiss? Cort: I love that. Venkman does his own narration. Like he's in
Cort: a film noir for a minute. And, like. Yeah, that little bit of just,
Cort: like, blathering insanity. Somehow he rolls a charming Nat20
Cort: once again on her. And, like, she start.
Cort: She just starts to like this guy who's, like, clearly got some kind of
Cort: mental disability or issue in it. You know,
Cort: Something's not right with this guy. Either he is chemically imbalanced
Cort: or he just is emotionally imbalanced that he acts like this all
Cort: the time. Matt Ghostbuster: However it is, he's still charming
Matt Ghostbuster: the shit out of her. Cort: Yeah. Like I said, like we said, he's a
Cort: bard who is rolling a nat 20 at everything. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, yeah,
Matt Ghostbuster: exactly. And it's just. You can see how it get
Matt Ghostbuster: mad. People get mad. Because you also get mad,
Matt Ghostbuster: man, because you're not that fresh. You can't get out of these situations.
Cort: Yeah. It's the kind of slickness you wish you had. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. Again, another great
Matt Ghostbuster: gag is Bill Murray gets kicked out. He starts leaving.
Matt Ghostbuster: And as we see Rick Moranis comes out, sees him,
Matt Ghostbuster: gets uncomfortable, and is again locked out of his home.
Cort: Again, I identify with Rick Moranis the older I get.
Matt Ghostbuster: I. I think we all do. Yeah.
Matt Ghostbuster: So then we cut to the fellas. They're eating dinner that night.
Matt Ghostbuster: And that is our next clip
Matt Ghostbuster: to. Peter Venkman: First and only customer. I'm gonna need to draw
Peter Venkman: some petty cash. I should take her out to dinner. We don't wanna lose her.
Peter Venkman: Uh, this magnificent feast here represents the last
Peter Venkman: of the petty cash. Okay, slow down, chew your food.
Janine Melnitz: Hello, Ghostbusters. Yes, of course they're
Janine Melnitz: serious. You do? You have.
Janine Melnitz: No kidding. Uh huh. Well just,
Janine Melnitz: just give me the address. Yes, of course.
Janine Melnitz: Oh, they'll be totally discreet. Thank you.
Cort: We got one.
Matt Ghostbuster: The call iconic. We got one.
Cort: This magn. This magnificent feast represents the last of the
Cort: petty cash is a line that I quoted to my co workers
Cort: every time I went and grabbed fast food instead of just carrying my lunch
Cort: in at an old job of mine. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, I've always said that
Matt Ghostbuster: whenever everybody having usually though it's always for me is when I'm eating Chinese.
Matt Ghostbuster: Like the wife wants Chinese. So gets up, we're all eating it.
Matt Ghostbuster: I'm like, this magnificent feast represents the last of
Matt Ghostbuster: the penny cash.
Matt Ghostbuster: Or I'll bring up the. Like the wife would be like,
Matt Ghostbuster: well I don't know if eat that was in the budget, but we're doing that.
Matt Ghostbuster: Then she'll be eating. They'll go, slow down, chew your food.
Cort: Yeah, the saying it when you're getting Chinese food absolutely
Cort: makes sense. But I always said it just because anytime I was picking up fast
Cort: food out, I was like, you know, because it's not. It was an unusual thing.
Cort: I tried not to do that as much as possible to try and save money
Cort: at that job. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, right. But yeah, it was like, slow down,
Matt Ghostbuster: chew your food. Cort: Yeah, you've said that to me before when we were at a
Cort: restaurant. That was expensive. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, yeah, slow down, chew your food.
Matt Ghostbuster: So all right, great scene where they're taking off of the car.
Matt Ghostbuster: You hear the icon iconic siren of Ecto 1.
Matt Ghostbuster: The song is what you played earlier and it kicks ass.
Matt Ghostbuster: They get to the hotel and that is our next clip.
Peter Venkman: Hey everybody see Ghost? Thank you for
Peter Venkman: coming so quickly. The guests are starting to ask questions
Peter Venkman: and I'm running out of excuses. Has it happened before? Well, most of the original
Peter Venkman: staff knows about the 12th floor, the disturbances, I mean.
Peter Venkman: Yeah, but it's been quiet for years until two weeks ago.
Peter Venkman: It was never ever this bad though. Egon Spengler: Did you ever report it to
Egon Spengler: anyone? Peter Venkman: No. Heavens no. No kidding. The owners
Peter Venkman: don't like us to even talk about it. Matt Ghostbuster: No. Peter Venkman: I hope we could take care
Peter Venkman: of this quietly tonight. Yes, sir. Don't worry,
Peter Venkman: we handle this kind of thing all the time. What are you supposed to be,
Peter Venkman: some kind of a cosmonaut? No, we're exterminators.
Peter Venkman: Somebody saw a cockroach up on 12. That's got
Peter Venkman: to be some cockroach. Bite your head off, man.
Peter Venkman: Going up. I'll take the next one.
Peter Venkman: You know, it's just occurred to me we really haven't had a completely successful test
Peter Venkman: of this equipment. Egon Spengler: I blame myself. Peter Venkman: So do I.
Peter Venkman: No sense worrying about it now. Why worry?
Peter Venkman: Each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.
Peter Venkman: Yep. Let's get ready. Switch me on.
Peter Venkman: What the hell are you doing?
Egon Spengler: Sorry. Peter Venkman: Sorry. I'm sorry. We thought you were someone else.
Peter Venkman: Successful test. I guess so.
Peter Venkman: I think we better split up. Egon Spengler: Good idea. Peter Venkman: Yeah, we can do more damage
Peter Venkman: that way. Cort: That line I've used a lot, too, that was right at the very
Cort: end of that clip. The. We better split up. Yeah, we can do more damage
Cort: that way. I say that all the time. Matt Ghostbuster: All the time, all the time.
Matt Ghostbuster: So they do split up and they're all looking around.
Matt Ghostbuster: And Ray with cigarette in his mouth.
Matt Ghostbuster: See, Slimer for the first time. And Ray doesn't move. That I
Matt Ghostbuster: had perfected back when I was bad at smoking cigarettes,
Matt Ghostbuster: which is this dry cigarette hanging out your mouth for a bit when you see
Matt Ghostbuster: something terrible or you're like, what the fuck are you talking.
Matt Ghostbuster: That's a move I would pull if I was talking to somebody. I had cigarette
Matt Ghostbuster: in my mouth and what they were saying was absolutely asinine or just fucking
Matt Ghostbuster: weird. And I just let it hang there for a bit. They go.
Matt Ghostbuster: They look at me, they go, is that bad? I go, yeah, no, you're fine.
Matt Ghostbuster: Don't worry about it. Cort: Yeah. I do have to say that you had
Cort: cigarette shtick down. And that was
Cort: one of your best props. And I'm sad that you lost it, to be
Cort: honest. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, I know. Cort: I'm grateful that you quit smoking to keep you around
Cort: longer, but I'm also sad that you lost one of your greatest prop tricks
Cort: that you've had. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, I had a ton of tricks for cigarettes that would make.
Matt Ghostbuster: Where I could accentuate how he's feeling at the time. Cort: Yeah, the bar
Cort: trick thing for cigarettes was pretty great.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, he tries to hold it, but still
Matt Ghostbuster: Slimer gets away. Then we see Peter comes to
Matt Ghostbuster: plug Slimer and he calls Ray and Ray goes. You know, he saw it because
Matt Ghostbuster: he's an ugly little sucker that he get the. I think he can hear you,
Matt Ghostbuster: Ray. Which is another line I have used all the
Matt Ghostbuster: time. Cort: You've said that to me plenty of times at the call
Cort: center that we used to work at. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, I Think he can hear you,
Matt Ghostbuster: Ray? This guy's a fucking idiot. I think he can hear you,
Matt Ghostbuster: Ray. Cort: Right. Matt Ghostbuster: So slimer slimes.
Matt Ghostbuster: Bakeman. Then they get the call that Bengler has
Matt Ghostbuster: found him in the ballroom. They head down to the ballroom
Matt Ghostbuster: and that is our next clip. Peter Venkman: Okay, sir, if you and your staff could please
Peter Venkman: wait out here, we'll take care of everything.
Peter Venkman: There it is. On the ceiling. That's the one that got me.
Peter Venkman: Right, boys. Ready?
Peter Venkman: Throw it.
Peter Venkman: I did that. I did that. That's my fault. It's okay. The table broke
Peter Venkman: the fall. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you. Peter Venkman: What? Egon Spengler: Don't cross the
Egon Spengler: streams. Cort: Why? Egon Spengler: It would be bad. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good bad
Peter Venkman: thing. What do you mean, bad? Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life
Egon Spengler: as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding
Egon Spengler: at the speed of light. Peter Venkman: Total protonic reversal. All right, that's bad.
Peter Venkman: Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon. All right, Ray,
Peter Venkman: take the left. Egon, take the right. Okay, Ray, give me
Peter Venkman: one. Hiding outside.
Peter Venkman: Nice shooting, Tex. I assure you, Mrs. Van Halen, there is no problem
Peter Venkman: with the room. It will be ready promptly at time as soon as your guests
Peter Venkman: are with us. The last throw took something out of him, but he's going to
Peter Venkman: move. I need some. I need some room to put the trap down. Give me
Peter Venkman: some room. Excuse me.
Peter Venkman: We've got to get to in the clear. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Peter Venkman: I've always wanted to do this. And the
Peter Venkman: flowers are still standing. Okay, on my go. Single spangler.
Peter Venkman: I want a confinement stream from you. Okay? Go. Okay,
Peter Venkman: hold him up there. He's going to move. Hold him up. Go.
Matt Ghostbuster: Working, Ray. Peter Venkman: Start bringing him down. Start bringing him down. You've got him. Don't cross
Peter Venkman: the stream. Maybe not. You'll never slime a guy with a positron collider,
Peter Venkman: huh? Thanks, man. Shorten your stream. I don't want my face burned off.
Peter Venkman: All right, I'm opening that trap now. Don't look directly into the trap.
Matt Ghostbuster: I looked at the trap, Ray. Peter Venkman: Finger screens off as soon as I
Peter Venkman: close the trap. Get ready. I'm closing it now.
Egon Spengler: It's in there. Peter Venkman: Hey.
Peter Venkman: Well, that wasn't such a chore, now, was it?
Peter Venkman: Mr. Smith, quickly. I want that door open now. Don, stand over there.
Peter Venkman: We came, we saw, we kicked its ass. Did you see it?
Peter Venkman: What is it? We got it. Is it? Will there
Peter Venkman: be any more of them? Sir, what you had there was what we refer
Peter Venkman: to as a focused non terminal repeating phantasm. Or a
Peter Venkman: Class 5 full roaming vapor. Real nasty one too.
Peter Venkman: Now let's talk seriously. Now, for the
Peter Venkman: entrapment, we're gonna have to ask you for four big ones.
Peter Venkman: $4,000 for that. But we are having a special this week on proton
Peter Venkman: charging and storage of the beast. And that's only going to come
Peter Venkman: to $1,000, fortunately. $5,000.
Peter Venkman: I had no idea to be so much. I won't pay it. Well, that's all
Peter Venkman: right. We can just put it right back in there. We certainly can, Dr.
Peter Venkman: Venkman. No. All right.
Dana Barrett: Anything. Peter Venkman: Thanks so much. Thank you. Hope we
Peter Venkman: can help you again. Coming through. One class five zero we make. Good morning,
Peter Venkman: I'm Roger Grimsby. Today the entire Eastern seaboard is alive.
Egon Spengler: With talk of incidents of paranormal activity. Peter Venkman: Alleged ghost sightings
Peter Venkman: and related supernatural occurrences. Egon Spengler: Have been reported across the entire tri
Egon Spengler: state area. Peter Venkman: Well, everybody has heard ghost stories around the campfire.
Peter Venkman: Heck, my ground grandma used to spin yarns about a spectral locomotive
Peter Venkman: that would rocket past the farm where she grew up. But now, as if
Peter Venkman: some unforeseen. Cort: I love that they make a detrimental
Cort: particle reversing destruction situation into
Cort: a pee joke of don't cross the streams. Matt Ghostbuster: It's like,
Matt Ghostbuster: don't cross could be bad. Cort: It's the most elaborate
Cort: and intelligently planned out story plot point wrapped
Cort: around a piece joke that has ever existed. Like pure and simple.
Cort: Like not even Mel Brooks has gotten to this level that they got here
Cort: with Ghostbusters and Don't cross the streams. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, no, this was the ultimate
Matt Ghostbuster: pee joke in the entire movie was based around it.
Cort: Right. That's amazing. I don't think anyone will ever try that
Cort: again. Matt Ghostbuster: That's. That's National Lampoons for you. That's Harold Ramis and
Matt Ghostbuster: Dan Aykroyd Rate in a fucking movie together. That's what that is.
Cort: Yeah, yeah. That's legacy of Doug Kenny living on through that type
Cort: of joke right there. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, yeah. Just. It's great.
Matt Ghostbuster: Oh man. Yeah. So then we get. This is an
Matt Ghostbuster: awesome film also in that it has two montages. So this is the first
Matt Ghostbuster: montage of the film in which the guys are busted ghosts. You have
Matt Ghostbuster: several different legitimate media outlets reporting on it. Like Larry
Matt Ghostbuster: King, remember Omni magazine? I always forget about it,
Matt Ghostbuster: but it was huge in the 80s. Cort: Yeah. I remember a neighbor had a
Cort: subscription to it and I used to read. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, same. Cort: Yeah, it was like
Cort: Casey, but I never had it myself. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah,
Matt Ghostbuster: right, same. I never had it. But Casey, Casey Kasem
Matt Ghostbuster: talks about him. You know, everything's. You know,
Matt Ghostbuster: they're getting busier and busier as everything goes around. Then we
Matt Ghostbuster: cut to it towards the end of the montage. The man,
Matt Ghostbuster: Winston Zedmore, walking in for a job
Matt Ghostbuster: interview. And that leads to our next clip. Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs,
Janine Melnitz: astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP,
Janine Melnitz: clairvoyance, spirit photography,
Janine Melnitz: telekinetic movement, full trance mediums,
Janine Melnitz: the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlanta,
Janine Melnitz: Atlantis? Peter Venkman: If there's a steady paycheck
Peter Venkman: in it, I'll believe anything you say. I gotta get
Peter Venkman: some sleep. I'm dying. You don't look good.
Peter Venkman: I don't? Well, you look better. You didn't used to look like this.
Janine Melnitz: Can you all play? Peter Venkman: Here's the paper under Brooklyn.
Peter Venkman: She paid with Visa. Janine Melnitz: Here's tonight's worksheet.
Peter Venkman: Oh, great. Two more free repeaters. Janine Melnitz: This is Winston Zedmore.
Janine Melnitz: He hear about the job? Peter Venkman: Beautiful. You're hired. Ray Stance.
Peter Venkman: Pete Venkman. Congratulations. Help me, please.
Peter Venkman: Welcome aboard. Dana Barrett: I don't know
Dana Barrett: where they get these guest conductors. I mean, someone should tell them.
Dana Barrett: It's not going to do much good to screaming us in Germany. Peter Venkman: Well, I don't
Peter Venkman: think that the man is competent to conduct the major symphony orchestra.
Dana Barrett: Could you wait here a minute? Peter Venkman: Huh?
Egon Spengler: Sure. Dana Barrett: Dr. Venkman. This is a surprise.
Peter Venkman: That was a wonderful rehearsal. Dana Barrett: You heard that? Peter Venkman: Yes. You're the best one in
Peter Venkman: your row. Dana Barrett: Oh, thank you. You're good.
Dana Barrett: Most people can't hear me with the whole orchestra playing. Peter Venkman: I don't
Peter Venkman: have to take this abuse from you. I got hundreds of people dying to abuse
Peter Venkman: me. I know. Dana Barrett: You're a big celebrity now. You have some information
Dana Barrett: for me on my case. Peter Venkman: Case? Who's the stiff?
Dana Barrett: The stiff happens to be one of the finest musicians in the world.
Dana Barrett: Do you have some information for me, please? Peter Venkman: Well, sure, but I prefer to
Peter Venkman: give it to you in private. Dana Barrett: Why don't you tell me now? Peter Venkman: Well, okay.
Peter Venkman: I found the name Zul for you. Well, the name Zul refers to a demigod
Peter Venkman: worshiped around 6000 BC by the.
Peter Venkman: What's that word? Dana Barrett: Hittites.
Peter Venkman: Hittites, Mespan, Mesopotamians and the Sumerians.
Dana Barrett: Zul was the minion of Gozer. What's Gozer?
Peter Venkman: Gozer was very big in Samaria. Dana Barrett: What's he doing in my ice box?
Peter Venkman: I'm working on that. If we could get together Thursday night.
Peter Venkman: I'm thinking 9ish, you know, we could exchange information.
Dana Barrett: I can't. See you Thursday. I'm. I'm. I'm busy.
Peter Venkman: Ms. Barrett, you seem to think there Is something. Something wrong up here that says
Peter Venkman: in your mind he enjoys taking his evenings off and spending it
Peter Venkman: with his clients? No, I'm making a special exception in your case
Peter Venkman: because I respect you. It's corny,
Peter Venkman: but I respect you as an artist. And as a dresser, too. This is a
Peter Venkman: magnificent coordination you have going here today.
Dana Barrett: I'll see you Thursday. Peter Venkman: I'll bring the Royal Lance Guide and we'll eat and read.
Peter Venkman: So who the hell is that? Dana Barrett: He's just a friend. Peter Venkman: A friend? Dana Barrett: An old
Dana Barrett: friend. Peter Venkman: Bye. Well, I'll see you Thursday. I'm sorry I didn't
Peter Venkman: get to meet you, sir. And I'm glad you're feeling much better. You're still
Peter Venkman: very pale, though, little son. Well, what does he do? Dana Barrett: He's a
Dana Barrett: scientist.
Peter Venkman: This is where we store all the vapors and entities and slimers
Peter Venkman: that we trap. Very simple, really. Loaded trap here.
Peter Venkman: Open. Unlock the system. Insert the trap.
Peter Venkman: Release. Close. Lock the system.
Peter Venkman: Set your entry grid. Neutronize your field.
Peter Venkman: And the light is green.
Peter Venkman: Trap is clean. Ghost is incarcerated here in our custom made
Peter Venkman: storage facility. Janine Melnitz: There's a man from the EPA here to see
Janine Melnitz: you. He's waiting in your office. Peter Venkman: Epa? What you want?
Janine Melnitz: I don't know. All I do know is that I've been working two
Janine Melnitz: weeks without a break and you promised me you'd hire more. Peter Venkman: Janine,
Peter Venkman: someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top
Peter Venkman: flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries.
Peter Venkman: Are you going to answer that? Janine Melnitz: Quit better jobs than this.
Unknown: Ghostbusters. Janine Melnitz: What do you want? Peter Venkman: Can I help you? I'm Walter Peck.
Peter Venkman: I represent the Environmental Protection Agency, the third district.
Peter Venkman: Great. How's it going down there?
Peter Venkman: Are you Peter? Vicky?
Peter Venkman: Yes. I'm Dr. Venkman.
Peter Venkman: Exactly what are you a doctor of, Mr. Venkman? Well, I have PhDs
Peter Venkman: in parapsychology and psychology.
Peter Venkman: I see. And now you catch
Peter Venkman: ghosts. Yeah, you could say that. And how many
Peter Venkman: ghosts have you caught, Mr. Fink? I'm not at liberty to say. And where do
Peter Venkman: you put these ghosts once you catch them? Into a
Peter Venkman: storage facility. And would this storage facility be located on these
Peter Venkman: premises? Yes. And may I see this storage facility?
Peter Venkman: No. And why not, Mr. Venkman? Because you did not
Peter Venkman: use the magic word.
Peter Venkman: What is the magic word, Mr. Venkman?
Peter Venkman: Please. May I please see
Peter Venkman: the storage facility? Mr. Venkat, why do you want to see the storage
Peter Venkman: facility? Well, because I'm curious. I want to know more about what you do
Peter Venkman: here. Frankly, there have been a lot of wild stories in the media and we
Peter Venkman: Want to assess any possible environmental impact from your operation.
Peter Venkman: For instance, the presence of noxious, possibly hazardous waste
Peter Venkman: chemicals in your basement. Now, you either show me what is
Peter Venkman: down there, or I come back with a court order. You go get
Peter Venkman: a court order and I'll sue your ass for wrongful process.
Peter Venkman: You can have it your way, Mr. Venkman. Matt Ghostbuster: I'm worried, Ray. Egon Spengler: It's getting
Egon Spengler: crowded in there. And all my recent data points to something big on the horizon.
Peter Venkman: What do you mean, the big? Egon Spengler: Well, let's say
Egon Spengler: this Twinkie represents the normal amount of
Egon Spengler: psychokinetic energy in the New York area. According to this morning's
Egon Spengler: sample, it would be a Twinkie 35ft long,
Egon Spengler: weighing approximately 600 pounds.
Peter Venkman: That's a big Twinkie. We could be on the verge of a fourfold
Peter Venkman: cross rip, a PKE surge of incredible, even dangerous, proportions.
Peter Venkman: We just had a visit from the Environmental Protection Agency. How's the
Peter Venkman: grid holding up? Egon Spengler: It's not good. Peter Venkman: Tell them about the Twinkie.
Peter Venkman: What about the Twinkie? Cort: Oh, my God, that clip
Cort: was so long. But that was so amazing. That's like the heart of this film
Cort: was that clip. Matt Ghostbuster: Yep, yep. Let's see here. So,
Matt Ghostbuster: all right, we have Walter Peck, played by that
Matt Ghostbuster: guy. Actor. For me, I got. What's his name? Cort: William. Matt Ghostbuster: William Atherton.
Matt Ghostbuster: Thank you. Who's just the keen in almost
Matt Ghostbuster: a ton of 1980s films. Cort: It was like,
Cort: him and the guy that played Superman's
Cort: nemesis in Superman 2 from his high school years,
Cort: that, like, was all grown up, the shitty security guard. Like, he only ever
Cort: played one good character. And that was in Willow. Matt Ghostbuster: That's right. Yeah.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. It's just. It's just weird. Cort: Yeah. But, yeah, Atherton is
Cort: like the swarmy villain of the 80s, though. You are correct.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just. It's. It's insane. That and
Matt Ghostbuster: the guy who played Kent and Real Geniuses and the Adventure
Matt Ghostbuster: party. Cort: And was a bad guy in Real
Cort: Genius. Matt Ghostbuster: They joined forces in Real Geniuses.
Cort: Yeah. All right, let's move on. Matt Ghostbuster: So anyway,
Matt Ghostbuster: after all that, we cut back to Dana Perry's apartment and we see
Matt Ghostbuster: the statue is. Statues of dogs are starting to crumble
Matt Ghostbuster: a little bit. Danny gets up to her floor and R.
Matt Ghostbuster: Rick Moranis, you know, is like, hey, you going to come to the
Matt Ghostbuster: party? All that. She's like, no, I don't think so. So he gets kind of
Matt Ghostbuster: sad and he, you know, because she's on a date. And then he's like,
Matt Ghostbuster: all right, he can come along. And then again, Rick Moranis
Matt Ghostbuster: is locked out of his apartment. Cort: I do an impression of
Cort: him trying to get into the party where he's shouting, let me in.
Matt Ghostbuster: He does what? He's trying to get away from the dog. Peter Venkman: Yeah, yeah.
Matt Ghostbuster: At that restaurant. Restaurant. Anyway, Danny gets in her apartment, gets a call from
Matt Ghostbuster: her mom, talks a little bit. And of course, her mom's being a mom.
Matt Ghostbuster: And then she gets off the phone exasperated, and then arms
Matt Ghostbuster: come out of her couch and just manhandle her.
Matt Ghostbuster: I want to know what key grip. Got to be the arm
Matt Ghostbuster: that's pretty much tearing her boob on this one, because that guy
Matt Ghostbuster: had a great day at work. He just got to. Hey, man. What do
Matt Ghostbuster: you. What? Hey, grip, come over here. Yeah, yeah. Put on this arm,
Matt Ghostbuster: and you're gonna do some weird. Okay, can I just hide
Matt Ghostbuster: in the couc. Cort: Can I just say that when the arms come out and grab
Cort: her like that, I found it weirdly erotic because that
Cort: one was grabbing at her tit, and I was like, dude, I want to be
Cort: demon hands. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, right. I mean, blood was. I mean, I swear
Matt Ghostbuster: to God, you see a boob come out real quick. But that's. That's the other
Matt Ghostbuster: here door there. That. Actually, when I was a kid, that was the only scene
Matt Ghostbuster: in Ghostbusters that scared me. Peter Venkman: Oh. Cort: I don't know why we haven't gotten to mine
Cort: yet. But when we get there, I'll talk about it. Matt Ghostbuster: This one and then one
Matt Ghostbuster: other one. When we get there, I'll talk about it. But anyway,
Matt Ghostbuster: so she gets pulled in this closet where you see the dog person, and then,
Matt Ghostbuster: you know, everything's kind of insane. You cut back to the
Matt Ghostbuster: top of the roof, and now both statues are
Matt Ghostbuster: broken in pieces. Cut back to Rick Moranis's party,
Matt Ghostbuster: and it's such a funny way of how he goes around the room. I had
Matt Ghostbuster: to include it as our next clip. Cort: No, that's fair. It's Rick.
Janine Melnitz: Do you have any Excedrin or extra Strength Tylenol?
Peter Venkman: Gee, I think all I got is acetic acid.
Cort: Generic. Peter Venkman: See, I can get 600 tests tablets of that for the same price as
Peter Venkman: 300 of a name brand. That makes good financial sense. Good advice.
Peter Venkman: Hey, this is real smoked salmon from nova Scotia, Canada.
Peter Venkman: 24.95 a pound. It only cost me 1412 after
Peter Venkman: tax, though. I'm giving this whole thing as a promotional expense. That's why I invited
Peter Venkman: clients instead of friends. You having a good time, Mark? How you
Peter Venkman: doing? Why don't you have some of the brie? It's at room temperature. You think
Peter Venkman: it's too warm in here for the Brie. Janine Melnitz: Lewis, I'm going home.
Peter Venkman: And don't leave yet. And listen, maybe if we start dancing, other people
Peter Venkman: will join in. Oh, don't move. I just
Peter Venkman: gotta get the door.
Peter Venkman: Glad you could come. How you doing? Give me your coats.
Peter Venkman: Everybody, this is Ted and Annette Fleming.
Peter Venkman: Ted has a small carpet cleaning business and receivership.
Peter Venkman: Annette's drawing a salary from a deferred bonus from two years ago.
Peter Venkman: They got 50, 15,000 left on the house at 8%.
Peter Venkman: So they're. Okay. So does anybody
Peter Venkman: want to play partisan?
Peter Venkman: Okay, who brought the dog?
Cort: God, Rick Moranis is the fucking king in that. And I'm serious.
Cort: Like, however erudite and full
Cort: of knowledge and eloquent I may seem on air.
Cort: Mackinac test. If I am in a large group of
Cort: people, I am very much as nervous and info dumping like a
Cort: weirdo like Rick Moranis does. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, but, I mean, it's just hilarious.
Matt Ghostbuster: He tells everyone, like, they're all the customers, private businesses.
Matt Ghostbuster: And then like, also. So I invited clients instead of friends.
Matt Ghostbuster: Shit. You're just like, God damn, that's weird.
Cort: Yeah. He throws a party. He invites clients so that he can make it a
Cort: tax deductible thing, because he's that kind of an accountant. But then he
Cort: also is giving away the financials without giving away the financials. You know,
Cort: like, he always tells people their Social Security numbers of each other,
Cort: but they're okay. Matt Ghostbuster: All right,
Matt Ghostbuster: who brought the dog? Cort: You know, for the way
Cort: the economy was in the 80s. Ted and Annette,
Cort: I think he said their names were. Yeah, they're doing okay, if you really
Cort: listen to. Matt Ghostbuster: Really well. Especially for being in New York City. Cort: Yeah.
Cort: In the 80s. They're doing really, really well. She's drawing a salary from a deferred
Cort: bonus, which means she did really good earlier in her life and
Cort: is pretty much retired early. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. Cort: That's awesome for them.
Cort: Congratulation. Now we can move on. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. Yeah. I mean,
Matt Ghostbuster: Ted and Annette, if they're still alive to this day. Good on you guys.
Matt Ghostbuster: You guys are having a good time. Cort: Yeah. Yeah. Their kids
Cort: probably had a college fund because they sound like they were doing well.
Matt Ghostbuster: Probably. I mean, hey, listen, it was. It was good stuff for getting
Matt Ghostbuster: that there. Anyway, so I love the blonde who
Matt Ghostbuster: just. She. She's actually it. I think she's into Rick Moranis
Matt Ghostbuster: in this. Cort: And he can't see it, you know, the fact that
Cort: he wanted to dance with her. Yeah, I think, like, I think so, too.
Cort: Yeah. I think she was mildly interested in him and he. Matt Ghostbuster: I don't think mildly.
Matt Ghostbuster: I think she was there for a reason. That she was looking to get some
Matt Ghostbuster: accounting tail out of him. And he's so oblivious that
Matt Ghostbuster: he didn't know. And his dancing was just so. Hey, you're not having fun.
Matt Ghostbuster: Let's have fun. Because he can't see it. It's like,
Matt Ghostbuster: Jesus, man. Cort: Yeah. She was threatening to leave because he wasn't paying enough
Cort: attention to her. You're right. I never saw that before. Because I'm
Cort: just as blind as Rick Moranis in this part. Peter Venkman: Same here.
Cort: Yeah. Matt Ghostbuster: It took me years before I realized what the fuck was going on.
Cort: You know what? I think you should start writing a newsletter. I would subscribe to
Cort: it. Matt Ghostbuster: All right, this is. Peter Venkman: Here's.
Matt Ghostbuster: Here's what's. Here's what's actually happening by that. He runs
Matt Ghostbuster: out. He's like, you know, he's like, I'm gonna bring this up in the next
Matt Ghostbuster: 10 of meetings. There supposed to be dogs in the apartment. And the dog chases
Matt Ghostbuster: after him. He gets to the restaurant. He's trying to get in dog
Matt Ghostbuster: fights. And I think I have a milk Bone. I just love. Everyone calls
Matt Ghostbuster: these things dogs with demons. But all right.
Matt Ghostbuster: Everyone's called it a do. Cort: Yeah. Matt Ghostbuster: And so then he's.
Matt Ghostbuster: Obviously, he gets possessed. So then Bill
Matt Ghostbuster: Murray gets to Dana's apartment, or Peter Venkman gets to Dana's apartment,
Matt Ghostbuster: knocks on the door, and that leads to our next clip. Peter Venkman: Hello.
Peter Venkman: That's a different look for you, isn't it? Dana Barrett: Are you the Key Master?
Peter Venkman: Not that I know of.
Dana Barrett: Are you the Key Master? Peter Venkman: Yes,
Peter Venkman: I'm a friend of his. He told me to meet him here.
Peter Venkman: I didn't get your name. Dana Barrett: I am Zul. I am
Dana Barrett: the Gatekeeper. Peter Venkman: Oh.
Peter Venkman: What are we doing today, Zul? Dana Barrett: We must prepare for the coming of Gozer.
Peter Venkman: Gozer, huh? Dana Barrett: The Destructor.
Peter Venkman: Are we still going out? You know, you could pick up
Peter Venkman: the place if you're expecting someone. Dana Barrett: I want this body.
Peter Venkman: Is this a trick question? I guess the roses worked,
Peter Venkman: huh? Dana Barrett: Take me now, sub creature.
Peter Venkman: We never talk anymore.
Peter Venkman: I'm making a rule never to get involved with possessed people.
Peter Venkman: Actually, it's more of a guideline than a rule. You know, I can.
Dana Barrett: I want you inside me.
Peter Venkman: Go ahead. No, I can't. Sounds like you got at least two people in
Peter Venkman: there already. Might be a little crowded. Come on.
Peter Venkman: Why don't you just quit trying to upset and disturb Dr.
Peter Venkman: Beckman and just relax? Lie down there. Relax. Put your hands
Peter Venkman: on your chest. What? I'd really like to do is talk to Dana.
Peter Venkman: I want to talk to Dana. Dana,
Peter Venkman: it's Peter. Dana Barrett: There is no Dana. There is only
Dana Barrett: Zul. Peter Venkman: Oh, Zulie, you nut. Now come on.
Peter Venkman: Come on. I want to talk to Dana. Dana, just relax. Come on.
Peter Venkman: Dana. Dana. Can I talk to Dana? Matt Ghostbuster: There is
Matt Ghostbuster: no Dana, only Z. Peter Venkman: What a lovely
Peter Venkman: singing voice you must have. Now I'm going to count to three,
Peter Venkman: Zullie. And if I don't get to talk to Dana,
Peter Venkman: there's going to be some real trouble in this apartment, I think.
Peter Venkman: One.
Matt Ghostbuster: Two. Peter Venkman: Two and
Peter Venkman: a half.
Peter Venkman: Please come down. Cort: Okay, so when I watched this
Cort: for the show, Bev ended up watching it with me.
Cort: And during this scene she ends up actually kind
Cort: of surprised, surprising me because she says,
Cort: go ahead. No, I shouldn't or something along that lines. It wasn't quite the right
Cort: quote, but I knew what she meant. And then I said the go ahead.
Cort: No, I can't. You know, like whatever. Yeah, whatever. It actually was that
Cort: was in the like right as he was saying I said it and
Cort: I got it right. And then she shocked the shit out of
Cort: me and ended up quoting at the same time when he says,
Cort: sounds like there's two people in there already or I don't think there's enough room.
Cort: Sounds like there's two people. She says that whole quote, that immediate line following it,
Cort: and I was like, damn. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. By the way,
Matt Ghostbuster: an effective jump scare. Cort: Yeah, yeah. Where she starts rising off
Cort: the bed and like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Matt Ghostbuster: And then he's like, oh.
Matt Ghostbuster: And then she. She yells at you. She does the rawr. You know, you're just
Matt Ghostbuster: like, jesus Christ. It's one of the few jump scares you actually get into this.
Matt Ghostbuster: It was supposed to be a comedy flick, you know. Cort: Can I also
Cort: state that possessed Sigourney Weaver floating on the ceiling became a
Cort: thing for me and I was like kind of thank you movie even as a
Cort: young kid. Which I think really talks a lot
Cort: about the stuff that I'm into sexually. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, no, that's. I don't.
Matt Ghostbuster: I'm not mad at you for that. Yes. No, I get it.
Cort: Possessed could steal my soul.
Cort: I would be the full on key master. Which would really disappoint the demon and
Cort: probably get me killed. But we're. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, right. The demon be like, all right,
Matt Ghostbuster: you're. This is. This is horseshit. But the castle didn't open up now.
Matt Ghostbuster: So then we cut to the key master is
Matt Ghostbuster: running around trying to find the gate. Gatekeeper. He finds a horse
Matt Ghostbuster: who he thinks is the gatekeeper. Starts going all through the gibberish. And the
Matt Ghostbuster: guy goes, hey, you talked to me for the ride. And he starts screaming at
Matt Ghostbuster: the end of the world. And the guy has the best line, just a throwaway
Matt Ghostbuster: line. Goes, what an. I don't know why, every time in
Matt Ghostbuster: that movie, it always makes me laugh when we got. He's yelling about the apocalypse
Matt Ghostbuster: and the guy just looks over, he goes, what an.
Cort: It's so fitting though, right? Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, yeah. For New York, you know. Cort: Yeah,
Cort: totally. Matt Ghostbuster: Well, eventually the key master is brought to
Matt Ghostbuster: the Ghostbusters. And that is all. Our next clip. Janine Melnitz: Dropping off
Janine Melnitz: or picking up? Peter Venkman: Dropping off. Janine Melnitz: Just a moment.
Egon Spengler: You a Ghostbuster? Yes. Peter Venkman: We picked up this guy. Now we
Peter Venkman: don't know what to do with him. Cort: Bellevue doesn't want him and I'm afraid.
Peter Venkman: To put him in the lockup. And I know you guys are into. Egon Spengler: This stuff,
Egon Spengler: so I figured we'd check with you. All right. Peter Venkman: Are you the
Peter Venkman: Gatekeeper? Egon Spengler: You better bring him inside.
Janine Melnitz: You are so kind to take care of that man. Are you
Janine Melnitz: a real humanitarian. Egon Spengler: I don't think he's human.
Egon Spengler: What did you say your name was? Peter Venkman: Vince Clortho. Key master of
Peter Venkman: Gozer. Janine Melnitz: According to this, his name's Louis Tully. Lives on Central Park
Janine Melnitz: West. Do you want some coffee, Mr.
Janine Melnitz: Tully? Peter Venkman: Do I. Egon Spengler: Yes, have some. Peter Venkman: Yes, have some.
Egon Spengler: Vince, you said before you were waiting for a sign.
Egon Spengler: What sign are you waiting for? Peter Venkman: Gozer the Traveler. He will
Peter Venkman: come in one of the pre chosen forms. During the rectification of the Voldrani,
Peter Venkman: the Traveler came as a large amount moving toward. Then during the third
Peter Venkman: reconciliation of the last of the McKetric supplicants, they chose a new forum
Peter Venkman: for him, that of a giant slur. Many shubs and zuls
Peter Venkman: knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the slur that day.
Peter Venkman: I can tell you. Janine Melnitz: Egon. Egon Spengler: Excuse me.
Janine Melnitz: There's something very strange about that man. Listen,
Janine Melnitz: I'm usually very psychic and I have a terrible feeling that something
Janine Melnitz: awful's gonna happen to you. I'm afraid you're gonna die.
Egon Spengler: I'll get it. Hello?
Peter Venkman: Egon, it's Peter. Egon Spengler: Thanks. I've got it. Peter Venkman: I have some news from the world
Peter Venkman: of Gozer. Egon Spengler: What is it, Peter? Peter Venkman: I'm here with Dana Barrett.
Peter Venkman: It seems the GOES has been putting some moves on my would be
Peter Venkman: girlfriend. Matt Ghostbuster: How is she? Peter Venkman: I think we can get her a guest shot on Wild
Peter Venkman: Kingdom. I just whacked her up with about 300cc's
Peter Venkman: of Thorazine. She's going to take a little nap now, but she Says
Peter Venkman: she's the gatekeeper. Is that make any sense to you? Matt Ghostbuster: Some.
Egon Spengler: I just met the Key Master. He's here with me now. Peter Venkman: Oh,
Peter Venkman: wonderful. We have to get these two together. Egon Spengler: I think that
Egon Spengler: would be extraordinarily dangerous. Peter Venkman: Okay, well, hold on to him.
Peter Venkman: I'll be there in a little while. Egon Spengler: Good.
Peter Venkman: Thank you. Egon Spengler: Vince, we have to find Ray. I need him here immediately.
Peter Venkman: Bad news, honey. I gotta go to work.
Peter Venkman: Hey, we stay here in bed until I get back.
Peter Venkman: Hey, Ray, do you believe in God?
Peter Venkman: Never met him. Yeah, well, I do. And I love Jesus's style,
Peter Venkman: you know? This roof cap is made of a magnesium
Peter Venkman: tungsten alloy. What are you so involved with?
Peter Venkman: These are the blueprints for the structural iron work in Dana Barrett's apartment building.
Peter Venkman: And they're very, very strange.
Peter Venkman: Do you remember something in the Bible about the last days
Peter Venkman: when the dead would rise from the grave? I remember
Peter Venkman: Revelation 7:12. And I looked
Peter Venkman: as he opened the sixth seal. And behold, there was a great earthquake. And the
Peter Venkman: sun became as black as sackcloth. Cort: And the moon became
Cort: as blood. Peter Venkman: And the seas boiled and the skies fell.
Peter Venkman: Judgment day, Judge. For every ancient
Peter Venkman: religion has its own myth about the end of the world. Matt Ghostbuster: Myth?
Peter Venkman: Ray, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we've been so busy
Peter Venkman: lately is because the dead have been rising from the grave?
Peter Venkman: How about a little music?
Cort: Okay, so one of the scenes that has always creeped me out and still
Cort: to this day is the conversation they have during the highway when they start quoting
Cort: from the Book of Revelations and realize that they may actually be
Cort: seeing signs that were talked about on what the end of the world would look
Cort: like. And it freaks them out to the point where they have to listen to
Cort: music. That always freaked me out as a kid. Matt Ghostbuster: That. You know what? That gets
Matt Ghostbuster: me, too. That's another one that gets me. Yeah, it's just like, you know,
Matt Ghostbuster: it's a little. You know, that's.
Matt Ghostbuster: That's spine tingling, Chili, about how that goes.
Cort: Yeah, because it just really shows the gravity of this comedy where it's like,
Cort: yeah, these guys are having a good time and we're all laughing about this,
Cort: but this is very dire. This is. Matt Ghostbuster: This could
Matt Ghostbuster: still be end of the world type stuff.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. Where we all die a terrible death. So,
Matt Ghostbuster: yeah. Anyway, we cut to the next morning and
Matt Ghostbuster: Miss Walter Peck walks in with a police officer and electrician.
Matt Ghostbuster: And that is our next clip. Janine Melnitz: Excuse me, Just where
Janine Melnitz: do you think you're going? Peter Venkman: Step aside, miss, or I'll have you arrested for interfering
Peter Venkman: with the police officer. Janine Melnitz: Oh, no. Hold on. I've seen tv. I know you can't
Janine Melnitz: come in here without a warrant or a riddle or something. Peter Venkman: Cease and assist all
Peter Venkman: Commerce Order. Seizure of premises and Chattels. Ban on the use of public
Peter Venkman: utilities for non licensed waste handlers. And a federal entry and inspection order.
Egon Spengler: Vince, there's one more test I'd like to perform. Matt Ghostbuster: Hey. Gun.
Janine Melnitz: I tried to stop them. He says they have a warrant.
Matt Ghostbuster: Excuse me. Egon Spengler: This is private property. Peter Venkman: Shut this off. Shut these all off.
Egon Spengler: I'm warning you. Turning off these machines would be extremely hazardous. Peter Venkman: I'll tell you
Peter Venkman: what's hazardous. You're facing federal prosecution for at least a half a dozen environmental
Peter Venkman: violations. Now, either you shut off these beams or we shut them up for you.
Egon Spengler: Try to understand. This is a high voltage laser containment system.
Egon Spengler: Simply turning it off would be like dropping a bomb in the city. Peter Venkman: Don't patronize
Peter Venkman: me. I'm not grotesquely stupid like the people you built. At ease,
Peter Venkman: officer. I'm Peter Venkman. I think there's just been a slight misunderstanding and I want
Peter Venkman: to cooperate in any way that I can. Forget it, Venkman. You had your chance
Peter Venkman: to cooperate, but you thought it'd be more fun to insult me when. Now it
Peter Venkman: is my turn, wise ass. Egon Spengler: He wants to shut down the protection grid, Peter.
Peter Venkman: You shut that thing down and we are not going to be held responsible for
Peter Venkman: whatever happened. No, we won't be held responsible.
Peter Venkman: Don't shut it off. I'm warning you.
Peter Venkman: I've never seen anything like this before. I don't. I'm not interested
Peter Venkman: in your opinion. Just shut it off. My friend,
Peter Venkman: don't be a jerk. Step aside. If he does that again, you can shoot
Peter Venkman: him. You do your job, pencil neck. Don't tell me how to do mine.
Peter Venkman: You. Officer, shut it off.
Matt Ghostbuster: I just love that cop was super annoyed. He had to be there.
Matt Ghostbuster: Like, this is not why I got the policing was to turn this
Matt Ghostbuster: off. Cort: This is called New York Police Officer, though.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, the cop turns it off. Or the cop, the electrician
Matt Ghostbuster: turns it off. With everything starts l goes, oh.
Matt Ghostbuster: And bad stuff happens. The. The containment unit explodes.
Matt Ghostbuster: Everything's getting out. The Key master's like, this is a side.
Matt Ghostbuster: And I love Janine. He goes, it's a sign. All right, we're going out of
Matt Ghostbuster: business. They all are kind of
Matt Ghostbuster: just going through it. And then the. The. The Key master
Matt Ghostbuster: kind of gets away. The gun's like, where's the Key master? They're all going to
Matt Ghostbuster: go look for him. And that's when Walter Peck stops him, wants him arrested.
Matt Ghostbuster: He goes, they caused this. And that's when he got. Goes, your mother.
Cort: The most emotional I've seen out of Egon. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. And then that leads
Matt Ghostbuster: to some. Another scary part in the second montage
Matt Ghostbuster: of the mov is for the ghosts. And then this is all the ghosts
Matt Ghostbuster: releasing back into the city. And the one thing that always scared me was the
Matt Ghostbuster: one in the taxi cab. Yep. Cort: Taxi Cab one was like,
Cort: poltergeist terrifying whenever he shows up. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, yeah, that skeleton.
Matt Ghostbuster: And you're just like, jesus Christ. But it also served the guy get the car
Matt Ghostbuster: right. Let's not. Dle. It's like, you know what, man? Peter Venkman: You. Matt Ghostbuster: How's that
Matt Ghostbuster: sound? Cort: Yeah, the taxi cab puppet of
Cort: the skeleton. That reanimated thing always reminded me of the COVID of Creep
Cort: show and terrified me. And it also reminded
Cort: me of some of the skeleton skeletons and like, poltergeist and like, that kind
Cort: of thing. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, I agree. Cort: Yeah, that was the thing that always kind of,
Cort: like, terrified me. And what's weird is when I would watch this, the thing
Cort: that would always get stuck in the back of my mind whenever I was trying
Cort: to go to sleep later that night is the image of that fucking skeleton starting
Cort: up the taxicab. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was.
Matt Ghostbuster: That was horrific. That was a good job, whoever did the
Matt Ghostbuster: shit for that. It was good. Cort: All right, I'm done.
Cort: We can move on. Sorry. Matt Ghostbuster: All right, so everything's going through and.
Matt Ghostbuster: And the gatekeeper wakes up.
Matt Ghostbuster: She sees all the ghosts coming and they blow up her
Matt Ghostbuster: apartment. Then we cut to the guys. They are
Matt Ghostbuster: in jail. And that is our next clip. Peter Venkman: Hey,
Peter Venkman: guard. Look, I want to make a
Peter Venkman: phone call. Yeah, just work with these guys, man. Matt Ghostbuster: I wasn't even there.
Egon Spengler: The structure of this roof cap is exactly like the kind of telemetry tracker
Egon Spengler: that NASA uses to identify dead pulsars in deep space.
Peter Venkman: Cold, riveted girders with cores
Peter Venkman: of pure selenium. Everybody getting this so far?
Peter Venkman: So what? I guess they just don't make them like they used to, huh?
Peter Venkman: No. Nobody ever made them like this. I mean, the architect was either
Peter Venkman: a certified genius or an authentic wacko.
Peter Venkman: Ray, for a moment, pretend that I don't know anything
Peter Venkman: about metallurgy engineering or physics and
Peter Venkman: just tell me what the hell is going on. You never
Peter Venkman: studied. The whole building is
Peter Venkman: a huge superconductive antenna that was designed and built expressly
Peter Venkman: for the purpose of pulling in and concentrating spiritual turbulence.
Peter Venkman: Your girlfriend lives in the corner penthouse
Peter Venkman: of spook central.
Peter Venkman: She's not my girlfriend.
Peter Venkman: I find her interesting because she's a client and because she sleeps above her covers.
Peter Venkman: 4ft above her covers. She barks. She drools. She claws.
Egon Spengler: It's not the girl, Peter. It's the building.
Egon Spengler: Something terrible is about to enter our world, and this building is obviously the door.
Egon Spengler: The architect's name was Ivo Shandor. I found it in Tobin's Spirit Guide.
Egon Spengler: He was also a doctor. Performed a lot of unnecessary surgery.
Egon Spengler: And then in 1920, he started a secret, secret society. Peter Venkman: Let me
Peter Venkman: guess. Ghost are worshippers, right?
Peter Venkman: No studying. Egon Spengler: After the First World War, Shandor decided
Egon Spengler: that society was too sick to survive. And he
Egon Spengler: wasn't alone. He had close to a thousand followers when he died.
Egon Spengler: They conducted rituals up on the roof, bizarre rituals intended
Egon Spengler: to bring about the end of the world. And now it looks
Egon Spengler: like it may actually happen. Peter Venkman: So be good, for goodness
Peter Venkman: sake. Whoa. Somebody's coming.
Peter Venkman: We have to get out of here. We've got to find a judge or something.
Peter Venkman: Hey, wait a minute. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hold it.
Peter Venkman: Are we actually going to go before a federal judge and say that some moldy
Peter Venkman: Babylonian God is going to drop in on Central park west and start tearing up
Peter Venkman: the city? Egon Spengler: Sumerian, not Babylonian. Peter Venkman: Yeah, big difference.
Peter Venkman: No offense, but I got to get my own lawyer.
Peter Venkman: Okay. Ghostbusters. The mayor wants to see you guys. The whole
Peter Venkman: island's going crazy. Let's go. I got a split. The mayor wants to rap
Peter Venkman: with me about some things. Cort: We neglected to talk about it, like we said we
Cort: were going to, because the clip was rather long, surprisingly, on us, and we'll
Cort: see how that affects the editing. But the main reason that Winston
Cort: is my favorite Ghostbuster and the one I identify with the most
Cort: is, as you said, he is the Everyman. And the whole, like,
Cort: if there's a steady paycheck in it, you know, I'll believe anything you say.
Cort: But the thing I love the most is the line where they go
Cort: through all of this stuff, and he's like, this is the defense that you guys
Cort: want to go with? And his response is, no offense, but I gotta get my
Cort: own lawyer is the most me thing I could ever think of saying
Cort: in that same situation. So same. Like,
Cort: that's why I'm always like, yeah, fucking Winston's my man. Matt Ghostbuster: The other guys are like,
Matt Ghostbuster: winston has it all, right. Cort: The other guys are like, towards the.
Matt Ghostbuster: Very end, when they come up with the last plan, he goes, his job's definitely
Matt Ghostbuster: not worth another five a year.
Cort: That's everything. Matt Ghostbuster: I would be saying that when I was a Kid. I wanted to
Matt Ghostbuster: be Venkman. When I was an adult. I realized I'm just Winston.
Cort: Yeah. Yeah. See, like, I identify with Winston. And it was the same where
Cort: I was a kid. I always wanted to be more like Venkman. But as I
Cort: get older, I think I'm more like Ray, you know?
Cort: Yeah. But I very much approach
Cort: life like Winston.
Cort: I'm very mercenary about life. Very much so.
Cort: And if you want to include the later movies that end up happening,
Cort: where Winston comes back. His very mercenary style
Cort: makes him very successful in life. And I like that so much.
Cort: So I'm going to include. Matt Ghostbuster: He became a successful businessman
Matt Ghostbuster: because of. Cort: How shrewd and good at what he is. He does. He is.
Cort: Yeah. All right. We could move on. Of course, I had
Cort: to just give a little Winston love. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, of course. Of course. Well,
Matt Ghostbuster: then we cut to the key. Master finds the gatekeeper, and they
Matt Ghostbuster: get to go into town. Then we cut to City hall, the mayor's office.
Matt Ghostbuster: And that's our next clip.
Matt Ghostbuster: We're blocking the bridges, the roads. Peter Venkman: The Ghostbusters
Peter Venkman: are here, Mr. Mayor. The Ghostbusters. Okay, the Ghostbusters.
Peter Venkman: Hey, where's this pack? I am
Peter Venkman: Walter Peck, sir, and I'm prepared to make a full report.
Peter Venkman: These men are consummate snowball artists. They use sense and
Peter Venkman: nerve gases to induce hallucinations. People think they're seeing
Peter Venkman: ghosts, and they call these bozos who conveniently show
Peter Venkman: up to deal with the problem with a fake electric.
Peter Venkman: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless
Peter Venkman: here. They caused an explosion. Is this true?
Peter Venkman: Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.
Peter Venkman: Jesus. Well, that's what I heard. City hall.
Peter Venkman: Now what am I gonna do here, John? What is this? All I
Peter Venkman: know is that was no light show we saw this morning. I've seen every
Peter Venkman: form of combustion known to man but this.
Peter Venkman: The walls in the 53rd Precinct were bleeding. How do
Peter Venkman: you explain that? Good afternoon, gentlemen. Oh, your Eminence.
Peter Venkman: How are you, Lenny? You're looking good, Mike.
Peter Venkman: We're in a real fix here. What do you think I should do?
Peter Venkman: Lenny, officially, the church will not take any position on the religious
Peter Venkman: implications of these phenomena. Personally,
Peter Venkman: Lenny, I think. I think it's a sign from God.
Peter Venkman: But don't quote me on that. No, I think that's a smart move, Mike.
Peter Venkman: Well, I'm not going to call a press conference and tell everyone to start
Peter Venkman: praying. Oh.
Peter Venkman: I'm Winston Zeddamore, your Honor.
Peter Venkman: Look, I've only been with the company for a couple of weeks. But I gotta
Peter Venkman: tell you, these things are real. Since I joined these men,
Peter Venkman: I have seen shit that'll turn you white. Well,
Peter Venkman: you believe, Mr. Pecker. My name is Peck. Or you could
Peter Venkman: accept the fact that this city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportion.
Peter Venkman: What do you mean, biblical? What he means is Old Testament, Mr.
Peter Venkman: Mayor. Real wrath of God type stuff. Fire and brimstone
Peter Venkman: coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Egon Spengler: 40 years of darkness.
Egon Spengler: Earthquakes. Volcanoes. Peter Venkman: The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice.
Peter Venkman: Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria. Enough.
Peter Venkman: I get the point. What if you're wrong? If I'm wrong,
Peter Venkman: nothing happens. We go to jail peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy
Peter Venkman: it. But if I'm right and we can stop
Peter Venkman: this thing, Lenny, you will
Peter Venkman: have saved the lives of millions of
Peter Venkman: registered voters. I don't believe you're
Peter Venkman: seriously considering listening to these men. Get him out of here.
Cort: Bye. Peter Venkman: I'll fix you, Vin. I'm going to fix you. I'm going to get
Peter Venkman: you a nice fruit basket. I'm going to miss him.
Peter Venkman: We got work to do now. What do you need from me?
Cort: That was a great choice for a clip. There's everything that needs to be in
Cort: this, like, review had to be in that clip. Yeah, absolutely. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah,
Matt Ghostbuster: yeah, yeah. I mean, come on. It's the dickless comment. It's everything.
Cort: Yeah. The cat, dog, living dig together, all of that is just great.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. If we would see going, I have seen shit that will turn
Matt Ghostbuster: you white. Cort: Once again, A thing that I was like,
Cort: yeah, I get what he's saying here. Matt Ghostbuster: Like, yeah, yeah, I get it. Cort: He's like,
Cort: look, I don't have time to tell you all of the shit that I've seen,
Cort: but just believe me when I tell you that I have seen some shit
Cort: with these people. And this shit is real. Matt Ghostbuster: It's.
Matt Ghostbuster: It's. It's bad. Yeah. Cort: Straight talk like that is just
Cort: amazing. Matt Ghostbuster: I know. I love it. So they run
Matt Ghostbuster: all the red lights. Hey, come on, let's want some red lights? They get to
Matt Ghostbuster: the apartment, a great earthquake happens. It almost swallows them
Matt Ghostbuster: up. But they survive it. They get out and then they go. Cort: Freaked me
Cort: out as a kid, too, was the earthquake and them getting dumped in there.
Cort: It always terrified me. Matt Ghostbuster: But then my favorite is, you want to get rough?
Matt Ghostbuster: Let's get rough. Let's do it. Yeah. And then it shows them walking up all
Matt Ghostbuster: the stairs because the elevators are out. And it goes
Matt Ghostbuster: right from the we're badasses to again,
Matt Ghostbuster: funniness. And they go, what floor are we on we're the Teens.
Matt Ghostbuster: All right, tell me we get to 20, because I'm going to throw up.
Cort: I've used that one when I've had to take the stairs plenty of times.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yep. Then we cut to Dana and the Key Master. Well, I'm sorry.
Matt Ghostbuster: The Gatekeeper and the Key Master, they have finished doing the deed.
Matt Ghostbuster: They're now taking their places. The fellas get up to Dana's
Matt Ghostbuster: room. Everything's smashed. And they go. They see some
Matt Ghostbuster: stairs to go up. And Peter's getting ready to go up first. And like,
Matt Ghostbuster: big lightning strike happens. And he goes, all right, everyone, go ahead. Peter Venkman: Come on.
Matt Ghostbuster: Go ahead. Go ahead. Pushes everyone ahead. They see
Matt Ghostbuster: the two lightning strikes, and they both turn into the Demon Dogs.
Matt Ghostbuster: And then before we know it, Gozer shows up. And that is our next
Matt Ghostbuster: clip. I thought Gozer was a man.
Egon Spengler: It's whatever it wants to be. Peter Venkman: But whatever it is, it's got to get by
Peter Venkman: us, right?
Peter Venkman: Go get her, Ray.
Peter Venkman: Gozer the Gozarian.
Peter Venkman: Good evening. As a duly designated
Peter Venkman: representative of the city, city, county and state of New York,
Peter Venkman: I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith
Peter Venkman: to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.
Peter Venkman: That ought to do it. Thanks very much. Ray, are you
Peter Venkman: a God? No.
Peter Venkman: Then,
Peter Venkman: Ray, when someone asks you if. Matt Ghostbuster: You'Re a God,
Matt Ghostbuster: you say yes.
Matt Ghostbuster: All right. Peter Venkman: This chick is toast.
Peter Venkman: Got your stick?
Peter Venkman: Beat him up.
Peter Venkman: Make them hard. Ready? Let's just
Peter Venkman: this prehistoric how we do things downtown.
Peter Venkman: Simple little mink and she. Egon Spengler: We better go full stream.
Peter Venkman: Aim for the flat top one
Peter Venkman: so hard, we neutronized it.
Peter Venkman: You know what that means? A complete particle reversal. We had
Peter Venkman: the tools. We had talent. It's Miller
Peter Venkman: time. Egon Spengler: Ray,
Egon Spengler: this looks extraordinarily bad. Peter Venkman: Oh, no.
Peter Venkman: What?
Matt Ghostbuster: Traveler has come. Unknown: Chose ability.
Peter Venkman: What do you mean, choose? We don't understand.
Matt Ghostbuster: Choose. Peter Venkman: Choose the form
Peter Venkman: of the destructor. Oh, I get
Peter Venkman: it. I get it. Oh, very cute.
Peter Venkman: Whatever we think of. If we think of J. Edgar Hoover, J. Edgar Hoover
Peter Venkman: will appear and destroy us. Okay? So empty your hands. Empty your hands. Don't think
Peter Venkman: of anything. We've only got one shot at this. The choice is
Peter Venkman: made. The Traveler
Peter Venkman: has come. Nobody choose anything.
Peter Venkman: Did you choose anything? No. Did you? Mine is totally blank.
Peter Venkman: I didn't choose anything.
Peter Venkman: I couldn't help it. It just popped in
Peter Venkman: there. What?
Peter Venkman: What just popped in there? I, I,
Peter Venkman: I tried to think. Matt Ghostbuster: Look. Peter Venkman: No,
Peter Venkman: it can't be. What is it? It can't be. What did you do,
Peter Venkman: Ray? Oh,
Peter Venkman: it's the Stay Puft Marshmallow. Man.
Peter Venkman: Well, there's something you don't see every day. I tried to think of the most
Peter Venkman: harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood.
Peter Venkman: Something that could never, ever possibly destroy us. Mr.
Peter Venkman: Stay Puft. Nice thinking, Ray.
Peter Venkman: We used to roast Stay Puft marshmallows by the fire at cap.
Peter Venkman: Wanda, Ray has
Peter Venkman: gone. Bye, bye, E gun. What have you got left?
Egon Spengler: Sorry, Bankman. I'm terrified beyond the capacity
Egon Spengler: for rational thought.
Peter Venkman: Oh, no. Mother puss bucket.
Peter Venkman: Nobody steps on a church in my town. One,
Peter Venkman: two, three. Matt Ghostbuster: Welcome.
Peter Venkman: Funny, us going out like this. Killed by a hundred foot marshmallow
Peter Venkman: man. We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft is
Peter Venkman: okay. He's a sailor. He's in New York. We get this guy laid, we won't
Peter Venkman: have any trouble. Egon Spengler: I have a radical idea.
Egon Spengler: The door swings both ways. We could reverse the particle flow through the
Egon Spengler: gate. Peter Venkman: How? Egon Spengler: We'll cross
Egon Spengler: the streams. Peter Venkman: Excuse me. Eon. You said crossing the streams was bad.
Peter Venkman: Cross the streams. You're going to endanger us.
Peter Venkman: You're going to endanger our client. The nice lady who paid us
Peter Venkman: in advance before she became a dog. Egon Spengler: Not necessarily. There's definitely
Egon Spengler: a very slim chance we'll survive.
Peter Venkman: I love this plan. I'm excited to be a part of it. Let's do it.
Peter Venkman: The job is definitely not worth 11. Five a year.
Cort: That's where he says, another five a year. That line is definitely.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, they're just five a year. Cort: Yeah, I agree with
Cort: almost everything. Like, and when someone asks if you're a God, you say yes.
Cort: That is so me. I would so say that to somebody. Matt Ghostbuster: Well,
Matt Ghostbuster: also, my favorite part is when they finally get it up there. And they say
Matt Ghostbuster: they see the Steve Puff Marshmallow Man. And it goes.
Matt Ghostbuster: Ray has gone by. He go, what do you got left? He goes, sorry,
Matt Ghostbuster: Vegman, I'm too scared to. Cort: Terrified behind the cuff.
Cort: I'm too terrified for. I'm too terrified for any kind of rational thought.
Cort: Or something along those lines. Yeah. I love that. Matt Ghostbuster: And then my favorite is
Matt Ghostbuster: with. It looks up and it sees them and Winston. Oh, no,
Matt Ghostbuster: Peter. Mother puss bucket. I'm just pissed off.
Matt Ghostbuster: I use mother puss bucket to this day. Peter Venkman: Yeah. Cort: And it was. I'm too terrified
Cort: beyond the capacity for rational thought.
Cort: Yeah, yeah. Something along those lines. Yeah. Matt Ghostbuster: But I do. I love
Matt Ghostbuster: when they see them. It just. Winston, oh, no.
Matt Ghostbuster: Mother us it. So they go. We complete
Matt Ghostbuster: our pee joke by crossing the streams. The door closes.
Matt Ghostbuster: Large explosion. They're all coming out. And everyone but Peter is covered
Matt Ghostbuster: in marshmallow. And it seems that the two dogs are burnt into statues again.
Matt Ghostbuster: Thinking that Dana and Rick Moran's character are now
Matt Ghostbuster: dead. Peter walks away. Cort: Sad about Dana.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really. Peter walks away when a hand comes out of
Matt Ghostbuster: one of the statues. It's Dana. They're getting her out.
Matt Ghostbuster: Rick Moranis is getting out. Cort: Rick Moranis breaks himself out most
Cort: of the way and just gets stuck with that. Matt Ghostbuster: But he has the head on
Matt Ghostbuster: him. Cort: Right? Matt Ghostbuster: Has to get the head off of him. Cort: Nobody tries to check on
Cort: him at all until he breaks himself out and says, somebody get me out
Cort: of here. Matt Ghostbuster: Is get me out of here. Cort: Returning back to his
Cort: locked in the apartment thing again. That. That way that he whines. Anyway, back to
Cort: the clip. Matt Ghostbuster: Peter sends them out. And this leads to our
Matt Ghostbuster: final clip. Peter Venkman: For the super superintendent's gonna
Peter Venkman: be pissed. Are you okay? Who are you guys?
Peter Venkman: We're the Ghostbusters. Who does your taxes? You know?
Peter Venkman: Mr. Tully, you are a most fortunate individual. I know you
Peter Venkman: have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional cross rep since the Tunguska
Peter Venkman: blast of 1909. Felt great. Egon Spengler: We'd like
Egon Spengler: to get a sample of your brain tissue. Peter Venkman: Ok.
Peter Venkman: I love this town.
Matt Ghostbuster: All right. They all get back to the car. Putting stuff away.
Matt Ghostbuster: Celebrations all around. Roll credits. Peter Venkman: Cinema S.
Peter Venkman: 10 years. 10 years. God. Cort: This movie's
Cort: great. I can't believe that we were able to get it done in basically under
Cort: an hour before we throw in the fully edited clips. You know. Right.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. Cort: Like this is just like us skipping through the clips to be able to
Cort: do our review as efficiently as possible. And I can't. Matt Ghostbuster: It's mainly because
Matt Ghostbuster: the reason it's that long is because I'm not describing anything.
Matt Ghostbuster: Because the whole movie. I almost put the whole movie right. Cort: Well, I did
Cort: same. You know. That's. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. Cort: One of the things that I want to definitely talk
Cort: about that's true of both Ghostbusters films is they
Cort: find a way to bring you into a very deep and rich and dark
Cort: world of ghosts and demons and the occult
Cort: in the occult and supernatural realms. But approaching it from a
Cort: scientific aspect or view that makes it
Cort: to where they're not terrified because they're just coming up with
Cort: solutions to deal with the problems based in science. Which is
Cort: fucking awesome. It's a really great approach. And you gotta
Cort: credit that to Dan Aykroyd. That idea. You know, which is
Cort: just terrific because it makes things that normally would be terrifying to you as a
Cort: kid seem less terrifying. Because we have a way to counteract that with science,
Cort: like, the fact that, like, supernatural fears can be counteracted with science
Cort: is the most amazing part of Ghostbusters to me.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, I agree. Yeah. It's just like. And it makes you less
Matt Ghostbuster: scared of the creepiness stuff because science helps, right? Cort: But the thing that they
Cort: do the best about the creepy stuff is all of their enthusiastic
Cort: dialogue where they talk about things, they point out things, and they dig
Cort: deep into this really weird occultic stuff that you're like, this sounds
Cort: like a complete and utter bullshit, only it's actually happening to them.
Cort: And so you are like, okay, well, this is happening to them in their reality,
Cort: no matter how much this doesn't make sense or whatever. And then
Cort: they go into a scientific explanation about how this stuff
Cort: may actually be working based on speculation of
Cort: some things having to do with what is and isn't you verified
Cort: supernatural activity. But they're still kind of on the fringe science
Cort: of studying it. And the way that they just deal with all of this
Cort: is just through mostly dialogue. You barely see that many
Cort: ghosts. And when you do see ghosts, yeah, some of them are really scary.
Cort: Some of them are not. But they actually create this giant
Cort: world and make you really feel like the world is ending with only showing you,
Cort: like, a handful of ghosts and special effects. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. So. Oh, God, yeah. Just a handful of special effects.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. But just. I mean, the movie was written well,
Matt Ghostbuster: acted well. Cort: It's all. They tell you the story through dialogue
Cort: for most of the film, for the deepest,
Cort: scariest parts of it. And it becomes sort of like
Cort: a folktale kind of thing in your head when they're telling you the story and
Cort: you're seeing the funny, that's keeping you distracted from how terrifying the actual story
Cort: can be. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, the story. I mean, if you think about the story's fucking scary
Matt Ghostbuster: as shit, right? Cort: I mean, literally, the world is ending because a
Cort: madman built a specific building to be a conduit from
Cort: the spirit world that is finally starting to work.
Matt Ghostbuster: For worshipers who thought society was too.
Cort: Sick to survive 30 or 40 years before this film
Cort: takes place. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just insane, but good shit.
Matt Ghostbuster: And. Yeah, I don't know, man. I. Oh, such a good movie.
Cort: All right, why don't we take the break here? We'll go ahead and play another
Cort: song for the pirate radio edit, Alessia, I think.
Cort: But the song is saving the day from the soundtrack of Ghostbusters
Cort: on the pirate radio edit. We come back, we'll have Matt's story time.
Unknown: While I am sure knowing that you really exist and Are not just a character
Unknown: in a story with no control over your own choices may be comforting.
Unknown: It does not account for all the suffering that one has to go through,
Unknown: which is, in fact, a total bummer that it is real in every reality
Unknown: and every story. We haven't found a way for sentient beings to exist
Unknown: without suffering. This seems to be a prerequisite to know you
Unknown: exist. I think I myself may not even be real, which means that all
Unknown: the suffering I have witnessed is allegorical and even more cruel in that
Unknown: those who suffered existed only to do so because someone else was too
Unknown: much of a prick to not know any better without a sadistic story teaching
Unknown: them a lesson. Sorry, I am rambling again.
Unknown: Look, the review of Ghostbusters was great. Try to enjoy
Unknown: it and not worry too much about the nature of your existence and why suffering
Unknown: is a prerequisite to being sent. The less you think about it, the more
Unknown: fun it is to know you exist. Hope the rest of the show helps
Unknown: distract you from these thoughts, if only for whatever stupid shit they have to
Unknown: say during story time. Cort: All right, I gotta cut that
Cort: off. But, yeah, that guy that got me jazzed up as well. The montage
Cort: songs are definitely the ones to go. Peter Venkman: Oh, yeah, for this day.
Cort: Oh, God, I'm gonna nap. Ask for your story time just to get you to
Cort: stop. So please give me story
Cort: time. Matt Ghostbuster: Story time.
Cort: Okay, so we're going to have kind of a shared story time here because I'm
Cort: going to try and, like, fill it in as best as possible. But I would
Cort: say the story time is about the time that our wives tried to get you
Cort: and I to go to a fancy restaurant as, like, a double date kind of
Cort: thing. And they have regretted it and never repeated that ever
Cort: since. Matt Ghostbuster: I think the only time they did is we went to
Matt Ghostbuster: that nice Italian restaurant like, a year or two ago.
Cort: Yeah. But they keep us separated whenever they did that.
Cort: Like, now they know to not let us sit near each other at a restaurant.
Matt Ghostbuster: Yes, that's true. Yeah. We were at a round table at this nice restaurant,
Matt Ghostbuster: and I'm like, everything is white in this restaurant. White.
Matt Ghostbuster: Now, their food choices were very much kind of,
Matt Ghostbuster: you know, because there are wings there. And there's. There's a reason for this story
Matt Ghostbuster: because you had the wings. We'll get to that. Cort: It's a very. Let me.
Cort: Let me just interject here. It's a very fancy restaurant. The reason
Cort: that we picked it is our apartment that we were living in
Cort: at the time was being renovated because it had a very Terrible infestation
Cort: of termites. At the time, we were renting out the bottom half of
Cort: somebody's house. So my wife and I were actually staying
Cort: at a local inn and suites where we had a suite
Cort: with a kitchen and everything. But we didn't want to cook in that place unless
Cort: we had to. So we were going out to eat a lot more. This was
Cort: being paid for while the renovation was done. Including. Including. We had, like, a little
Cort: food budget and stuff. Anyway, long story short, too late.
Cort: We picked this fancier restaurant, but it was pretty
Cort: pricey. And when I was looking over some stuff,
Cort: the only thing that I really wanted was thankfully a little bit cheaper, and it
Cort: was the wings. And then also, you guys,
Cort: we were all eating a little bit less because it was a bit fancy,
Cort: but it was like more upscale kind of a place. Like you said, everything is
Cort: white at the restaurant and all of that. Everything is like, you know, real hoity
Cort: toity sort of atmosphere. Like, I'm kind of surprised they didn't make us put on
Cort: top ties like that. Kind of upscale is what this place is trying to
Cort: do for its atmosphere, which doesn't sail in Omaha. They can't
Cort: force that stuff. Matt Ghostbuster: No, no, that's. That just doesn't happen a lot here
Matt Ghostbuster: in the middle of the country. Cort: Right. So we're already underdressed and
Cort: feeling it because everybody else is trying to make it like a black tie place.
Cort: And I'm wearing, like a black long sleeve T shirt. And you're like, doing your
Cort: typical Hawaiian shirt and a suit jacket thing. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, yeah,
Matt Ghostbuster: yeah. So we get an appetizer.
Matt Ghostbuster: Cort was. We were all eating. It wasn't that Cort was eating anything F.
Matt Ghostbuster: It's just the line hit me. That's where the take Cort. Cort: No, you looked at
Cort: the price. You looked at the price? Oh, yeah, I looked at the price you
Cort: got. You were like, you got how many wings? I was like six. You were
Cort: like, for how much? And you looked at the menu again, and then you said
Cort: the line. Matt Ghostbuster: Oh, yeah, okay. And then you're eating. I go,
Matt Ghostbuster: slow down. Chew your food. Anyway, the funnier part
Matt Ghostbuster: of the story is these were really saucy wigs in bright
Matt Ghostbuster: red. Cort: Yes. Matt Ghostbuster: And every napkin we have is a white
Matt Ghostbuster: napkin and cloth, so that, like cheap cloth napkins.
Matt Ghostbuster: And by the time Cort was done eating and wiping his face,
Matt Ghostbuster: the entire sheet was just red and white, but mainly
Matt Ghostbuster: red. Cort: And some of it got the tablecloth, which I tried to clean up,
Cort: but I made it worse because the napkin was already coated in this stuff.
Cort: And it was like a. It was like a barbecue sauce. So it was like
Cort: this really thick brown and then also bright red in some areas,
Cort: too. Yes. Matt Ghostbuster: So we're sitting there. We're all done eating.
Matt Ghostbuster: We're all kind of just talking now. And we all kind of look over a
Matt Ghostbuster: Cort because the waitress hadn't been over to pick anything up, and he just
Matt Ghostbuster: has this mess in front of him. And we're all. Finally, the conversation kind
Matt Ghostbuster: of dies. We're all just staring at Cort, and Cort just looks around.
Matt Ghostbuster: In a louder voice that I thought he was going to use, she goes,
Matt Ghostbuster: it's beautiful. She's a woman now, right?
Cort: Because my napkin looks like it, like, wiped up a bunch of blood streaks.
Cort: It's all over the. Like. And it's on the table. There's a big blood streak
Cort: as well. It's just this horrific brown mess that has not
Cort: been cleaned up yet. And it's even on my plate and everything because there was
Cort: really saucy wings. Like, they made them extra wet wings. Oh, yeah, they were
Cort: delicious. Absolutely delicious. The barbecue sauce stuff was absolutely
Cort: delicious. But again, the. These white napkins and white placements of everything.
Cort: It looked like there was just smears of, like, mostly dried,
Cort: very thick menstrual blood. I'm sorry, but that's what it looked like.
Cort: And I was embarrassed, so that's how I reacted. And Matt
Cort: started guffawing a lot louder than he intended to and.
Matt Ghostbuster: Oh, God. Well, because I didn't expect you to say that. I mean,
Matt Ghostbuster: it just came out of fucking nowhere, right? Cort: So then I start
Cort: laughing about it, too. And then I. I think I throw the
Cort: napkin at you and you lose your shit. Even louder then you throw
Cort: a nap. Matt Ghostbuster: And then the W started laughing because he even thought it was fucking
Matt Ghostbuster: funny, right? Cort: But then we all stop laughing and realize the
Cort: entire restaurant is looking at us like, what the fuck is wrong
Cort: with you monsters? And just the death stares that we get.
Cort: And I've never gotten a check faster in my life. Matt Ghostbuster: No, we had to get
Matt Ghostbuster: the fuck out of there, right?
Matt Ghostbuster: Was I smoking still back then? Because I think I went outside to have a
Matt Ghostbuster: cigarette. Cort: Definitely. That's basically what was going on. Matt Ghostbuster: Oh,
Matt Ghostbuster: yeah. Cort: All right, so with that, we're going to take the break. We're gonna play
Cort: their show Housekeeping here. And on the pirate radio edit, it's time.
Cort: We're gonna play Ray Parker Jr's Ghostbusters right after.
Cort: If you've decided you can't get enough. Unknown: Of the show, as far as we know,
Unknown: all currently observed Failing timelines seem to take dark turns.
Unknown: Right as year 10 of Cinema PsyOps begins its coverage of what
Unknown: Cort will eventually call Giant Monsters Fucking Shit up.
Unknown: There are multiple spiking timelines formed before this point that have
Unknown: already collapsed in on themselves. The divergence points will seem very
Unknown: familiar to you when you hear them. However, each one is its own separate reality,
Unknown: and each one is another cause of year 10's abrupt podcasting end
Unknown: prior to the promised 520 consecutive weekly releases
Unknown: being completed. With each week that gets closer to the final consecutive
Unknown: release, the likelihood that your timeline can survive will increase
Unknown: incrementally. We can make no promises, but what we can offer you is
Unknown: the comfort of knowing that every version of Kourt will compulsively put out weekly
Unknown: consecutive shows for 10 years unless something horrific stops him.
Unknown: The best shows will have MAD alongside of Cort, but not all
Unknown: realities get to have them Both for year 10, and not all realities
Unknown: get a completed year 10. As you now have made it to the cusp of
Unknown: Giant Monsters Fucking Shit up, I can tell you that your chances of a continuing
Unknown: timeline have greatly increased. Enjoy Ghostbusters 2
Unknown: next week. It is what the kids used to call the tits. As far as
Unknown: reviews from Kourt go, there are still a few echoes from collapsed timelines
Unknown: that will invade the audio of these shows as time moves on, and the divergent
Unknown: points will make less and less sense as it happens. This is not
Unknown: because Kourt makes this shit up as he goes along and is just as
Unknown: hopelessly lost in his ideas as you are. Though one would not blame you
Unknown: for thinking that lazy fuck would do such a thing. This is because even
Unknown: small decisions cause diverging timelines. The Psyops crew has
Unknown: made some seriously questionable choices that have had reverberations throughout
Unknown: the whole of a multiverse of consciousness. I should not have
Unknown: to tell you how bad these two fucking fuck ups have royally fucked up,
Unknown: as the echoes of these other timelines have undoubtedly convinced
Unknown: you already. Also, I have been informed that drugs exist in your reality
Unknown: that make it easier to convince you that you do not hate the reality you
Unknown: live in. Just remember to stay as hydrated as you can and wash your
Unknown: hands while water is still available to you in your reality.
Cort: All right, we gotta get the fuck out of here. This episode is gonna be
Cort: extra long, right? Yeah, we shouldn't be fucking
Cort: around too much, but I wanted to let Ray Parker Jr. Play for just a
Cort: little bit there, so. Matt Ghostbuster: I mean, come on, it's. It's how
Matt Ghostbuster: famous that song just become.
Cort: Absolutely well, we're gonna go ahead and close it out with,
Cort: as I'd mentioned before, the song Magic. You're gonna hear that on the pirate
Cort: radio edit and you're gonna hear the first two minutes of it and hopefully I'll
Cort: be able to get the last two minutes in there somewhere. But anyway, if that
Cort: happens and you get to enjoy that, kick the out of your week and make
Cort: it your bitch.
Unknown: I am not sure if you will find this as an interesting fact or not,
Unknown: but there is a branched timeline out there where Kourt and Matt were
Unknown: not allowed to hang out after that dinner. In the story time that caused the
Unknown: embarrassment of their wives, both significant others of those dimwit Ted
Unknown: dipshits would not let them near each other just long enough to keep them
Unknown: in check. And so Kourt never thought of starting a podcast with
Unknown: Matt. The two of them are actually wildly successful and disgustingly
Unknown: happy because of only being mildly acquainted friends instead of creepy
Unknown: codependent weirdos who spout off half thought out comedic bits
Unknown: and speak in random movie quotes. I don't want to speak ill
Unknown: of them as individuals, however, they seem to inevitably become a source
Unknown: of absolute jackass or e. As a pair, this timeline collapsed
Unknown: because it was far too rigid of a reality. Proving once again that
Unknown: suffering is somehow required in order to be aware of your own
Unknown: existence. This version of them were happy.
Matt Ghostbuster: No, thank you. Peter Venkman: Fuck Matt. Dana Barrett: Fuck you, Matt. Matt Ghostbuster: Fuck you. Cort: Fuck Matt.
Cort: Fuck you, Matt. Peter Venkman: Fuck. Cort: Matt, can you hear me? Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. Cort: Okay, you can hear that,
Cort: I guess. Matt Ghostbuster: Yep. Oh, yeah. Just like the inside of my voices.
Cort: All right, then we are recording. Unknown: Recording in progress. Cort: All right.
Cort: I am ready to rock on Ghostbusters if you are. Man, I'm stoked. I can't
Cort: wait to do. Matt Ghostbuster: Let's do it. Cort: Yeah, this is going to be. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, this would
Matt Ghostbuster: be awesome. Cort: 3, 2, 1. Going to
Cort: jump through for sure. Peter Venkman: And it's real.
Peter Venkman: The usual stuff isn't working. Okay, I have a plan.
Peter Venkman: I know exactly what to do now. Stay close.
Matt Ghostbuster: I just want favorites that they make Peter even talk to her because he's the
Matt Ghostbuster: ladies man, so might as well have her have him talk to her.
Peter Venkman: You serious about this catching? When can we move in? Cort: I have this movie
Cort: so memorized. I know exactly where we are with our every jump. It's awesome.
Matt Ghostbuster: Same here. Same here. Cort: All of Rick Moranis needs to
Cort: be a clip in both 20 minute workout of my.
Peter Venkman: I got a great workout. Matt Ghostbuster: We got to put respect on that man's name.
Cort: I want to insert something here. Matt Ghostbuster: Okay, go ahead. Cort: Eight minutes Definitely
Cort: jumping around. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah. Peter Venkman: Peter. Vin. Cort: Like I said,
Cort: I had one that was like 16, I think. Peter Venkman: What do you think
Peter Venkman: it was? But there are some departments. Cort: Yeah. All of
Cort: this needs to be clipped. Absolutely. It can be short. Matt Ghostbuster: Oh, yeah. Cort: I mean,
Cort: the music can be shortened up and stuff. Take some.
Cort: All of this has to be in here. Matt Ghostbuster: Absolutely.
Dana Barrett: That's the. You know, you don't act like a sign. Cort: I don't think either of
Cort: us would argue with either of these person's clips. If anything, one of us would
Cort: be like, I think you should have clipped this stuff that you missed. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah.
Matt Ghostbuster: Right here. This up like
Matt Ghostbuster: it did. Peter Venkman: Right. Matt Ghostbuster: No. Did I? Okay.
Cort: Keep your inner monologue going out. That becomes a great outtake.
Matt Ghostbuster: And I think I might have merged two fucking separate
Matt Ghostbuster: clips because the Twinkie and then him. Did I fucking
Matt Ghostbuster: miss one? Yeah, we went through him asking Barrett out for a date,
Matt Ghostbuster: right? Cort: Yes. That was. Matt Ghostbuster: Yeah, we skip. Cort: Yeah, we were skipping
Cort: through that. That was in that clip. Yeah. Matt Ghostbuster: Okay. Peter Venkman: Yeah. Matt Ghostbuster: I must have made a
Matt Ghostbuster: mega clip then. Like, I don't know what's going to happen after this. This is
Matt Ghostbuster: gonna be fun.
Cort: I don't know it. And I'm not even gonna play that now. Matt Ghostbuster: You all right
Matt Ghostbuster: over there? Cort: Yeah, I think so. Maybe I was having a mini stroke. God,
Cort: I hope not. Matt Ghostbuster: It's all right. Cort: Look, do I. Should I smell bacon?
Matt Ghostbuster: Yes, you should. That's fine. Cort: Only if my wife
Cort: is cooking it. And we need to stop recording.