MARK: Welcome to 'Happening in Pocatello'. It's Monday, July 27, 2026, and if you haven't already vaporized into a fine mist of sweat and desperation, I'm Mark. I'm here to tell you that the world's still spinning, even if it's spinning way too close to the sun right now. We've got a lot of ground to cover today, mostly because the ground is the only thing that isn't currently on fire or being dug up by a construction crew. I'm joined by Joleen, who I'm told is actually in the studio and not just a very realistic hologram designed to complain about the humidity.

JOLEEN: Listen here, you sarcastic dickhead, I'm very much real and I'm currently vibrating at a frequency that only dogs and people who hate the heat can hear. Happy Monday, everyone. It's a beautiful day to stay inside, lock your doors, and question every life choice that led you to a place where 101 degrees is a forecast and not a fever dream. We're going to talk about crime, sports, and why the school district thinks tennis courts are the answer to our prayers. It's going to be a real shit-show, but it's our shit-show. You can find us at pocatello@thehappeningnetwork.com if you want to tell Mark his voice makes you want to walk into traffic. And please, for the love of all things holy, like, subscribe, and comment so the algorithm thinks we're actually popular.

MARK: Spoken with the grace of a woman who just realized her air conditioning bill is going to cost more than her car payment. Let's start with the top headlines, because Pocatello decided to kick off the week with some truly depressing news. Last Wednesday afternoon, there was a fatal crash on I-15 just north of Malad. A 59-year-old Pocatello man, David Jensen, was driving a van and for reasons that the Idaho State Police are still trying to figure out, he veered onto the shoulder and slammed into a disabled car. He was airlifted to the hospital but didn't make it. The northbound lane was blocked for hours, which is just the cherry on top of a tragic situation.

JOLEEN: It's just fucking awful, Mark. Imagine just sitting there on the shoulder, probably already having the worst day of your life because your car died, and then that happens. It's a reminder that driving in this state is basically a high-stakes game of Russian roulette with more pickup trucks. People fly down that stretch of I-15 like they're trying to outrun their own shadows. And look, we're cynical, but that's a heavy way to start the week. Our thoughts are with the Jensen family, even if our thoughts are usually preoccupied with where to find the best taco in town. It's just a reminder that the highway isn't a suggestion; it's a place where things go wrong fast.

MARK: And it didn't stop there. We've got a suspicious death investigation going on right now in the city. Early Sunday morning, around 12:20 a.m., police were called to the 800 block of East Wyeth Street for some kind of disturbance. They found a woman unconscious and not breathing. She was pronounced dead at the scene, and now the Pocatello Police Department is treating it as a criminal investigation until they can rule it out. They haven't released her name yet, but it's safe to say that neighborhood had a much more intense weekend than the rest of us. It's quiet over there usually, which makes this whole thing feel even more bizarre.

JOLEEN: Oh, 'suspicious disturbance' is such a polite way for the cops to say they've got a real mystery on their hands. East Wyeth isn't exactly the murder capital of the world, but lately, it feels like every time I turn on the news, someone's found unconscious or there's a house fire with no explanation. Speaking of which, that fire on July 21st is still a giant question mark too. One person died in that one, and the police have taken over the investigation from the fire department to look for 'criminal activity'. It's like the city decided to audition for a true crime documentary this month. Can we just have one week where the biggest news is a cat stuck in a tree or a particularly large zucchini at the farmer's market? Is that too much to ask?

MARK: Apparently, it is. But hey, if you're looking for a different kind of disaster, let's check in on School District 25. It's been over three years since the electrical fire at Highland High School, and the district is finally bragging about some progress. They're saying Phase 1 of the rebuild is coming along, and they're planning to open the new spaces on January 4, 2027, right after winter break. They're building a six-court tennis complex and a new parking lot on Bench Road. Because nothing says 'we're back' like a place to play tennis while the rest of the school is still a construction zone. It's only taken them three damn years to get this far.

JOLEEN: Three years! My god, I could've built a pyramid by now if I had enough interns and a steady supply of iced coffee. I love how they're framing it as this massive victory. 'Hey kids, we know your high school experience has been defined by charred remains and portable classrooms, but look! Tennis courts!'. Who even plays tennis in Pocatello in January? It'll be ten degrees outside and they'll be out there trying to hit a ball that's literally frozen solid. It's such a weird priority. Why not focus on, I don't know, the classrooms where people actually learn things? But no, let's make sure the parking lot is top-tier so the teenagers have a nice place to sit in their cars and ignore their homework. It's peak bureaucracy.

MARK: To be fair, they're also rebuilding 75,000 square feet of actual school, Joleen. It's not just the tennis courts. But I get your point. The timeline is glacial. If this were a private project, it'd be done in six months. Since it's the school district, we're celebrating a 2027 opening date like it's the second coming. I'm just curious to see if the 'new spaces' actually feel like a school or if they'll still have that faint aroma of smoke and missed deadlines. At least the kids will have a place to park their angst. It's better than nothing, I guess, but 'better than nothing' should be the city's official motto.

JOLEEN: Pocatello: Better Than Nothing. I'll get the t-shirts made. But let's pivot to something that actually tastes good. Off the Rails Brewing in historic downtown is expanding. They're taking over more space because apparently, this town has an unquenchable thirst for craft beer. I went in there the other day and the vibe was actually decent, which is saying a lot for a place that's surrounded by buildings that look like they haven't been touched since the Nixon administration. They're adding more seating and expanding the kitchen. It's about time we had a place downtown that didn't feel like a claustrophobic closet when it gets busy on a Friday night.

MARK: I've always liked Off the Rails. Their beer doesn't taste like it was filtered through a gym sock, which puts them ahead of about half the breweries in the state. The expansion is a good sign for downtown, too. It means people are actually spending money there instead of just driving through to get to the freeway. Though I'm sure the construction for the expansion will somehow involve closing three blocks of traffic for no reason. It's the Pocatello way. You can't have progress without making everyone's commute a living hell for six months. I'm looking forward to seeing what they do with the extra space. Maybe they'll add a 'cynical podcast hosts' section where we can drink in peace.

JOLEEN: We'd just get kicked out for making the other customers feel bad about their lives. But seriously, the food there is actually solid. If they expand the menu along with the space, I might actually have a reason to leave my house. Their pizza is already a staple, but if they add some more legitimate appetizers, I'm sold. It's nice to see a local business actually thriving instead of just limping along. Downtown needs more of that energy. If only we could get the rest of Main Street to look half as good as the brewery, we might actually convince people we're a real city and not just a very large truck stop with a university attached to it.

MARK: That's a tall order, Joleen. Most of downtown looks like a set from a movie about the Great Depression. But let's move on to sports, where things are actually happening. True Lacrosse Idaho just finished up their regional tryouts and skills clinic at OK Ward Park. They're trying to grow the sport in East Idaho, which is brave, considering most people here think lacrosse is something you play with a butterfly net. They had kids out there in the heat on Thursday and Friday. I hope they brought a lot of water, because running around with pads on in 90-degree weather sounds like a great way to meet your maker.

JOLEEN: Lacrosse is such a rich-kid sport, isn't it? I mean, I'm glad they're doing it, but I can't help but laugh at the image of kids in Pocatello trying to look tough with those little sticks. It's like 'the preppy kids have arrived'. But hey, if it keeps them off the streets and away from those questionable disturbances on East Wyeth, I'm all for it. And we can't forget the Gate City Grays. They're playing at Halliwell Park today and again on Saturday. There's something very 'Pocatello' about sitting in a wooden bleacher, eating a lukewarm hot dog, and watching semi-pro baseball while the sun beats down on your neck. It's the ultimate summer experience.

MARK: It's the only time I feel truly at home, honestly. Just pure, unadulterated boredom mixed with the faint hope of a home run. The Grays are a local legend for a reason. It's cheap, it's outside, and you can yell at the umpire without anyone calling the cops. Plus, we're looking ahead to the fall sports season. The Highland Rams and Pocatello Thunder are already getting their schedules set for football in August. It's funny how we spend all summer complaining about the heat, and in three weeks, we'll be talking about Friday night lights and the inevitable transition to freezing our asses off in the stands. The cycle of misery continues.

JOLEEN: I'm already dreading the football parents. They're a special breed of asshole. 'My son is going to the NFL!' No, Karen, your son is a backup linebacker for a 5A school in Idaho. He's going to work at the potato factory like everyone else. But the games are fun. I'll give them that. It's the one thing that brings this town together, besides hating the road construction. Speaking of bringing people together, we've got some events this week. Montana Shakespeare in the Parks is in town. They're doing 'The Merchant of Venice' today at Lookout Point and 'Much Ado About Nothing' tomorrow. It's culture, Mark. Real, live culture, right here in the dirt.

MARK: Nothing says 'high class' like watching Shakespeare while a freight train blasts its horn three blocks away. It's a tradition. I love how people pretend to understand what's going on. They sit there with their little picnic baskets and their wine, nodding along to iambic pentameter like they aren't going to go home and watch 'The Bachelorette' immediately after. But it's free, and it's a nice use of Lookout Point. If you can handle the heat, it's worth going just to feel superior to the people who aren't there. Just don't ask me to explain the plot of 'The Merchant of Venice'. Something about a pound of flesh and a lawyer? I was busy looking for a bug in my drink.

JOLEEN: You're such a philistine. Shakespeare is great for people-watching. You can see who's trying too hard to look intellectual and who's just there for the free entertainment. And if theater isn't your thing, Australian Pink Floyd is playing at The Port on Thursday. It's a tribute band, but they're apparently the 'world's greatest' tribute band. I'm sure the air will be thick with the smell of nostalgia and... other things. It's a big show for The Port. I'm just hoping the weather doesn't decide to throw a literal lightning storm into the mix during 'Comfortably Numb'. That might be a bit too much production value.

MARK: And don't forget the Portneuf Valley Farmer's Market on Saturday morning. It's at Lookout Point, too. It's the best place to buy a three-dollar tomato and feel good about your life for ten minutes. Plus, the Crafters Market is at Station Square the same day. It's basically a weekend-long quest to see how much handmade soap you can fit in your house. I usually just go for the food trucks. Curbside Cravings will be around Lookout Point today, which is basically the only reason I'd ever go downtown on a Monday. Their tacos are the only thing keeping me from a complete mental breakdown.

JOLEEN: I'd kill for a good taco right now. But let's talk about the actual weather, because it's a goddamn nightmare. The National Weather Service issued a Red Flag Warning for today. It's valid until 9:00 p.m. tonight because it's dry, it's hot, and the wind is just waiting for a reason to start a fire. We've got 'areas of smoke' today and tomorrow, which is just delightful. It's like living inside a giant barbecue pit, but without the delicious brisket. The high today is 93, but it's only going up from here. Tomorrow we're hitting 95, and by the weekend, we're looking at triple digits.

MARK: Saturday is the real kicker. 101 degrees. That's not weather; that's an insult. It's going to be sunny, clear, and absolutely miserable. Friday is 99, Sunday is 96. If you're planning on being outside this weekend, you're either a masochist or you've lost your mind. The air quality alert is still hanging over us, too. Between the smoke and the heat, the air is basically a spicy soup. I'm staying inside with the blinds closed, pretending the outside world doesn't exist. It's the only logical response to a 101-degree forecast in a desert.

JOLEEN: I'm going to buy one of those inflatable pools and just live in it until Monday. I don't care if the neighbors see me. It's about survival at this point. And if you have to drive anywhere, good luck. The city is doing slurry seal work this week. They've got crews on Creekside Drive, Andrew Street, Appaloosa Avenue, and a bunch of others. They're closing lanes and shifting traffic around like it's a giant game of Tetris. It started the week of the 20th and it's continuing through this week. So, if you're trying to get through those residential areas, you might as well just park your car and walk. You'll probably get there faster.

MARK: Slurry seal is the worst. It's that thin layer of black gunk that they spread over the road, and it stays sticky and annoying for days. It's a necessary evil, I suppose, but the timing is always impeccable. 'Oh, it's 100 degrees? Let's put down some fresh, heat-absorbing asphalt oil! That'll be great for everyone!'. I swear the city planners have a dartboard in their office and they just throw darts to decide which street to ruin next. Just be careful out there, especially around the north side where the work is concentrated. The delays aren't massive, but they're enough to make you want to scream into your steering wheel.

JOLEEN: I scream into my steering wheel anyway, Mark. It's therapeutic. And since we're talking about the city and its infinite wisdom, let's look at real estate. The market here is still a complete circus. Median list prices are hovering around 330 to 340 thousand dollars. For Pocatello! I remember when you could buy a house here for a firm handshake and a bag of potatoes. Now, you need a blood sacrifice and a 30-year mortgage that covers your first-born child. It's still a seller's market, which is great if you're leaving, but absolute shit if you're trying to stay. There's zero inventory, and everything that does hit the market is gone in five minutes.

MARK: And everyone's still waiting for that new Chick-fil-A to open later this year. Apparently, that's the big real estate driver now. 'Come move to Pocatello, we're finally getting a chicken sandwich place!'. It's wild how much weight people put on fast food franchises. But seriously, the new construction is the only thing moving. There are permits popping up all over the place, but they're building these houses so close together you can hear your neighbor changing their mind. It's not exactly the 'wide open spaces' Idaho used to be known for. It's more like 'slightly more space than a shoebox' for a premium price.

JOLEEN: It's depressing, honestly. I look at Zillow just to hurt my own feelings. You see a house that was built in 1920, has original wiring that's probably a fire hazard, and they want 350k for it. It's insane. But people keep buying them. I don't know where they're getting the money. Maybe they're all those AI data center people trying to sneak back into town. Anyway, that's the state of the city. We're hot, we're broke, and we're waiting for Shakespeare to tell us why our lives are a tragedy. It's classic Pocatello, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Mostly because I'm too tired to move.

MARK: On that cheerful note, we're wrapping things up for today. Remember, you can reach out to us at pocatello@thehappeningnetwork.com. We love hearing your complaints, your conspiracy theories, and your recommendations for where to find a taco that doesn't cause immediate regret. Please like, subscribe, and leave a comment. Tell us how much you hate the heat, or just tell Joleen her pool idea is genius. We'll be back next Monday to see if the city has finally melted into a puddle or if we've all just collectively decided to move to Antarctica. Stay cool, stay hydrated, and try not to get hit by a van on the interstate.

JOLEEN: Yeah, don't die. It's bad for our ratings. See you next week, you glorious bastards. Try to stay out of the sun and if you see me in my inflatable pool, no you didn't. Bye!