MARK: Welcome back to 'Happening in Pocatello,' the only podcast brave enough to tell you what's actually going on in this weird, wonderful, and windy corner of Idaho. I'm Mark.

JOLEEN: And I'm Joleen. We're your audio tour guides through the Gateway to the Northwest, mostly because we haven't figured out how to monetize our walking tours of the city's best potholes yet.

MARK: It's a work in progress. Look, we love this town, even when it feels like a forgotten set from a seventies movie. But it's our forgotten set, goddammit. If you have a story, a complaint, or you've finally spotted a mythical creature near the Portneuf, email us.

JOLEEN: The address is pocatello@thehappeningnetwork.com. We read everything, especially the unhinged stuff. And for the love of all that is holy, please like, subscribe, and comment. It's the only way we can prove to our loved ones that this is a real job.

MARK: Let's kick things off with a story that'll make you double-check your car doors. A Chubbuck woman was recently arrested for allegedly stealing a car with a baby in the backseat.

JOLEEN: Jesus. Talk about a bad day. I can't even imagine the panic. You run into a store for two seconds, come out, and your car and your kid are just gone. That's a new level of asshole behavior.

MARK: Right? It's not just grand theft auto at that point; it's grand theft everything-that-matters. Luckily, the story has a good ending. The mother was able to track her car using her phone and the police found the vehicle and the baby, who was thankfully unharmed. The suspect was arrested a short time later.

JOLEEN: Well, thank god for that. Still, what the fuck is wrong with people? Who hears a baby in a car they're stealing and thinks, 'Yeah, this is fine. I'll just drop it off later'? That's not a person who is making good life choices.

MARK: No, that's a person who's about to have a very, very long conversation with the Bannock County justice system. It's a nice reminder that while Pocatello is generally safe, it's not exactly Mayberry. Lock your damn doors, people. And maybe attach a tracking device to your children. Is that legal?

JOLEEN: Probably not, but I'm not a cop or a lawyer. Let's move on to something slightly less terrifying. Did you hear about the new leadership over at the Pocatello-Chubbuck School District? They've had their January board meeting and shaken things up a bit.

MARK: Oh, a leadership shuffle. My favorite. It's like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, but with more budget meetings. The board of trustees has a new brief out for the month.

JOLEEN: It's always a riveting read. After all the drama with declining enrollment and potential school closures, you have to wonder if a new chair at the table is going to change the trajectory. Or are we just going to get a new font on the 'Everything is Fine' memos?

MARK: My money's on the font change. It's a classic bureaucratic move. When in doubt, change the letterhead. But hey, I'm willing to be surprised. Maybe this new leadership will come in with some radical, unheard-of ideas, like fully funding arts programs or ensuring all the school heaters work in January.

JOLEEN: Woah, let's not get crazy now. Next you'll be asking for textbooks published in the current century. It is a tough job, though. You've got enrollment dropping, budgets getting squeezed, and a public that's, let's say, 'actively engaged' with every single decision.

MARK: That's a polite way of saying everyone with a Facebook account thinks they can run the district better. Meanwhile, just down the road, there's a restaurant that was supposed to open this month that has everyone talking. The new Raising Cane's in Chubbuck.

JOLEEN: Ah, yes. The promise of glorious, greasy chicken fingers. The article I saw was from last year, but it had a tentative opening date of January 2026. It's January 26th. I haven't seen any grand opening parades. Have you?

MARK: I have not, and believe me, I've been looking. It's supposed to be where the old Denny's on Yellowstone used to be. A true changing of the guard. From one style of questionable late-night food to another. I respect it. But I need my Cane's sauce, Joleen. My life feels incomplete without it.

JOLEEN: Well, their timeline was always 'tentative.' You know how it is with construction and permits. It's probably being held up because they didn't sacrifice the proper number of goats to the planning and zoning commission. It's a common mistake.

MARK: Speaking of places to eat, since we can't review the mythical Cane's, we decided to hit up a local spot that's been around for a bit. We went over to Arctic Circle. And before you say anything, yes, it's fast food, but it's *our* fast food.

JOLEEN: Look, sometimes you don't want a balsamic reduction or a deconstructed anything. Sometimes you want a burger that tastes like 1998 and fries that are basically just a vehicle for fry sauce. And on that front, Arctic Circle delivers the goods.

MARK: It's a regional treasure. I got the Black Angus Ranch Burger, because I'm a man of sophisticated tastes. It was exactly what you'd expect. A solid, no-bullshit burger. The real star, as always, is the fry sauce. Other places have tried, but nobody gets the pink-hued glory of Arctic Circle's sauce quite right.

JOLEEN: I'm a simple woman. I got a cheeseburger and a lime rickey. The lime rickey is a god-tier fast-food beverage and I will not be taking questions at this time. It cuts through the grease and makes you feel, for a fleeting moment, like you're making a healthy choice. You're not, but it's a nice lie to tell yourself.

MARK: It's all about the lies we tell ourselves. The service was fast, the place was clean enough, and the food didn't give me immediate regret. In the world of fast food, that's a five-star review. It's reliable. It's there for you. It's the old pickup truck of Pocatello dining.

JOLEEN: It'll get you where you need to go, but it ain't pretty. Alright, let's talk sports. The ISU men's basketball team has had its share of the spotlight, but how are the women's and other teams doing?

MARK: Glad you asked. The ISU women's basketball team absolutely crushed it last week, taking down Montana State 79-to-60 on Thursday. They shot nearly 58 percent. It was a hell of a performance and ended Montana State's run as the last unbeaten team in the Big Sky.

JOLEEN: That's fantastic. It's always great to see the Bengals knock a rival off their high horse. So what's next for them? Are they riding this momentum into some home games?

MARK: They are. They've got a couple of big games coming up right here in Pocatello. They're playing Weber State this Saturday, January 31st, and then they host Portland State on Monday, February 2nd. It's a great chance to see a team that's clearly hitting its stride.

JOLEEN: Meanwhile, the men's team... well, they had a tougher go of it. They lost to Montana on Saturday, 69 to 60. Money Williams from Montana put up 17 points. It was just a rough outing for the Bengals, who are now 10 and 11 on the season.

MARK: You win some, you lose some. That's the brutal reality of the Big Sky conference. On a totally different note, registration is now open for Bannock Baseball and Girls Volleyball through the city's Parks and Rec department.

JOLEEN: Oh, a perfect opportunity for parents to live vicariously through their children's athletic achievements. Bannock Baseball is for boys and girls, with tryouts for the older kids. The girls' volleyball program is for grades 4 through 9. Time to sign up and prepare for a spring filled with yelling from the sidelines.

MARK: It's the American way. Now, let's talk about something that unites every single person in Pocatello: our shared, unending misery regarding road construction. While the big I-15/I-86 interchange project is supposedly wrapping up after years of chaos, it feels like the city is just playing whack-a-mole with orange barrels.

JOLEEN: The Flying-Y project has been a legacy project, alright. A legacy of detours and rage. They started that thing back in 2022. But now that it's mostly done, I'm just waiting for the next big 'improvement' project to be announced. My bet is on them deciding to completely tear up Yellowstone Avenue for three years.

MARK: Don't even joke about that. They might hear you. Remember when they started the Center Street Underpass project? It feels like that's been going on since the Truman administration. The latest update said one phase would cause a six-week closure. That was supposed to be temporary, but at this point, I think the construction crew has established squatter's rights.

JOLEEN: It's a permanent feature of the downtown landscape. It's not a construction project, it's a public art installation symbolizing the eternal struggle of man against asphalt. You just have to appreciate it for what it is. A giant, expensive pain in the ass.

MARK: It makes you wonder where they'll strike next. It's like a horror movie. You know the monster is coming, you just don't know which street it's going to devour. My car's suspension can't take much more of this, Joleen.

JOLEEN: Mine either. Let's shift from the crumbling roads beneath our feet to the shaky foundations of the housing market. What's the latest in Pocatello real estate? Are we still in that weird place where a two-bedroom shack costs half a million dollars?

MARK: Pretty much. According to the latest data I could find, the average home value in Pocatello is hovering around 330,000 dollars, which is up just a tiny fraction over the past year. Things are just... stuck. The market is sluggish.

JOLEEN: Sluggish is one word for it. Glacially slow might be another. Homes are sitting on the market for an average of 50 days. That's a long time to keep your house clean for showings. After about a week, I'd just give up and let the piles of laundry become a 'charming feature.'

MARK: And the mortgage rates aren't helping. The national average is still hanging around six percent. It just puts everything out of reach for so many people. The whole situation is frustrating. The city is even holding a Housing Plan Public Meeting this Thursday, January 29th, at the Council Chambers.

JOLEEN: Oh, a public meeting. I'm sure that will solve everything. It'll be a productive hour of three people suggesting solutions and one guy ranting for twenty minutes about property taxes. Still, I guess it's good they're pretending to listen. What's the goal? To figure out how to build more 'affordable' apartments that still cost fifteen hundred a month?

MARK: That seems to be the trend. The whole state of Idaho is still a popular destination for people fleeing even more expensive states, which keeps demand up. So we're stuck in this cycle. Not enough houses, the ones that are available cost too much, and the solution is always another public meeting. It's a beautiful system.

JOLEEN: It truly is a masterclass in civic planning. Alright, enough cynicism. Let's tell people what they can actually go out and do this weekend. What's on the agenda for Friday, January 30th through Sunday, February 1st?

MARK: If you're feeling adventurous and don't mind the cold, you could start your weekend on Friday night with some Moonlight Snowshoeing at the East Fork Mink Creek Nordic Center. It runs from 6 to 8 PM. They even provide the snowshoes.

JOLEEN: That actually sounds kind of magical. Trudging through the dark, cold woods, hoping you don't get eaten by a moose. Builds character. What's happening on Saturday for people who prefer their activities during the day?

MARK: Saturday is the big day. First off, it's ICCU Ski Free Day at the Mink Creek Nordic Center. From 9 AM to 5 PM, you get free day passes and free rentals for skiing or snowshoeing. It's sponsored by ICCU, so you know it's legit.

JOLEEN: Free is my favorite price. That's fantastic. You can try a new winter sport without having to invest a bunch of money just to find out you hate it. I fully support this. What else is on tap for Saturday?

MARK: If you'd rather stay indoors, there's a Clydesdale couples or singles paint night at the Clydesdale Bar & Lounge. Or, if you're a fan of improv, you can catch 'Dummies and Dragons' at the Old Town Actors Studio. And of course, the ISU Women's basketball team plays Weber State that night.

JOLEEN: That's a pretty packed Saturday. Something for everyone, from the outdoorsy types to the artsy drunks. What about Sunday? Is everyone just supposed to recover from their free ski day and improv shenanigans?

MARK: Sunday looks quiet, which is probably for the best. It's a day of rest. And for getting ready for the week ahead by looking at the weather forecast, which, frankly, looks pretty damn boring.

JOLEEN: Boring is good in a Pocatello January. Boring means we're not getting three feet of snow or a windstorm that knocks out power for a week. So, what's this thrilling forecast?

MARK: Prepare yourself for a rollercoaster of mild mediocrity. For the week of January 26th to February 2nd, we're looking at a mix of sun and clouds. Today, Monday, we'll see a high of around 44 degrees. Tuesday and Wednesday will be clear and sunny with highs in the mid-40s. Overnight lows will be in the upper 20s and low 30s.

JOLEEN: Forty-six degrees in late January? That's practically beach weather. I might break out the shorts. I won't, but I might think about it. Is there any precipitation in our future to ruin this pleasant, unseasonable warmth?

MARK: Of course. This is Idaho. The forecast shows a chance of light freezing rain on Thursday, followed by a chance of light snow on Friday and Saturday. But the temperatures are staying relatively mild, with highs in the 40s all the way into the weekend. So it'll probably just be a slushy, inconvenient mess.

JOLEEN: Ah, my favorite kind of winter weather. Not cold enough for the snow to be pretty, just wet enough to make your socks miserable all day. At least we're not looking at sub-zero temperatures. I'll take it.

MARK: That's the spirit. And that just about does it for this edition of 'Happening in Pocatello.' Thanks for tuning in and letting our cynical voices fill your ear holes.

JOLEEN: Don't forget to send your tips, complaints, and conspiracy theories to pocatello@thehappeningnetwork.com. And please, for the sake of our fragile egos, like, subscribe, and leave a comment on whatever platform you're using to listen to this.

MARK: It helps us more than you know. Stay safe out there, lock your cars, and for god's sake, try to enjoy this weird little city we all call home. We'll be back next week with more of... well, more of this.