Hey, Man - The Advice Podcast for Men

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Summary

Avi & Sam are joined by Slate blogger Ben Mathis-Lilley. We talk about Ben's growing up in Michigan and his career as a journalist. Then, we answer a question about how to handle an out of control bachelor party.

Show Notes

Speaking with Ben Mathis, daily news blogger at Slate and formerly of New York Magazine. Topics covered include: Growing up in Midland, MI - home of Dow Chemical, maintaining confidence as a writer, writing for the newspaper in junior high, how to balance the pressure to produce on a short deadline, inspirational teachers, writing advice, dealing with trolls and being called a cum stain, an “extreme version of a classic conundrum”, strip clubs and strippers at parties, the burden of keeping a secret, being a coward, white lies and being a good friend,“it’s not for me." Ben's advice: “never waste an opportunity to give a sincere compliment”

Hey Man, 
I have an awkward situation that I need some advice on how to handle. I should note - I’m 30, work as a project manager for a high end contractor and am straight and live with my girlfriend of 3 years. A good friend’s bachelor party is coming up soon and he’s having it in Vegas. This is part of a friend group that I spent more time with when I was younger, but I feel a lot of loyalty to them even though I don’t seem them very often. Part of the reason I don’t see them is that I’ve gone in a different direction in my life and these guys seem to have never grown up (although I should say they’re all professionally successful). The problem is this: I just know they’re going to Vegas to have a real Vegas experience - there are going to be strippers, blow, gambling. Someone, or maybe even many of them, will hire escorts. None of this is my vibe, but the strippers/hookers thing is really not something I’m into. My girlfriend has an even bigger problem with it and doesn’t want me to go. I don’t know what to do. If I don’t go, I’ll really hurt my friend. 
If I go to some things, but skip out on the strip clubs, I’ll be a total loser in their eyes. I guarantee no one else is skipping out on that. What should I do?

Signed, 

Drip on the Strip


Ben Mathis Lilly

Don't forget to get in touch if you want to submit a question:  917-426-4326 or heymanpod@gmail.com

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What is Hey, Man - The Advice Podcast for Men?

The weekly advice podcast for men with therapist Avi Klein and novelist Sam Graham-Felsen. Each week, we answer your questions with the help of a rotating cast of guests.