MARK: Welcome to Happening in Boise, the only podcast that reminds you every single morning that you're stuck in a city where the housing prices are high but the speed limits are merely suggestions. It's Monday, February 16, 2026, and if you're listening to this while idling in traffic on Eagle Road, just know that I'm also suffering, but with much better audio equipment. I'm Mark, and I'm composed, sarcastic, and frankly, I've had just about enough of this 'false spring' we've been pretending to enjoy for the last forty-eight hours.

JOLEEN: And I'm Joleen, your upbeat, cynical guide through the absolute chaos that is the Treasure Valley's current news cycle. Honestly, Mark, if you didn't have a mic to complain into, you'd probably just shout at the wild turkeys on the North End, which, coincidentally, is where we're starting today. If you've got something to say to us, or if you've been personally victimized by a bird, reach out at boise@thehappeningnetwork.com. Otherwise, strap in, because this city is falling apart in the most entertaining way possible.

MARK: We've got to talk about the turkeys first because they're literally taking over the city like some kind of feathered mafia. Idaho Fish and Game finally had to launch an 'educational campaign' this week because people in the North End apparently can't figure out that feeding fifty-pound birds is a bad fucking idea. They're attacking mail carriers, Joleen. USPS driver Alyssa Turner is basically a war veteran at this point after the shit she's been through on her route.

JOLEEN: I saw that video of her being chased, and I've got to be honest, it's the funniest thing I've seen all year. Those turkeys don't care about your bills or your Amazon packages; they just want blood and birdseed. The city's official advice is to 'make yourself look large' and 'don't retreat,' which is exactly what I tell myself before going into a meeting with our boss. But seriously, it's gotten so bad that people are spending hundreds of dollars on arborists just to cut down tree limbs so the turkeys won't sleep over their houses.

MARK: It's the ultimate North End problem, isn't it? You pay seven hundred thousand dollars for a house built in 1910 and now you're being held hostage by a Tom turkey named Greg who hates your Subaru. Fish and Game is telling people to use Mylar tape and pinwheels to scare them off. If I see a bunch of grown adults running around their front yards with pinwheels screaming at birds, I'm going to lose it. It's breeding season now, too, so they're even more aggressive and horny than usual, which is a terrifying combination.

JOLEEN: It's a dickhead move to keep feeding them, though. That's why they're sticking around. They've found a place where the predators are few and the old ladies with bird feeders are many. The city even has a new webpage dedicated to 'urban turkeys,' which is a sentence I never thought I'd have to say. If you're out there and you're still throwing corn on your lawn, you're the reason we can't have nice things. You're basically funding a feathered insurgency.

MARK: Speaking of people who shouldn't be allowed to interact with the public, let's talk about the situation on North Carlsbad Way. A twenty-seven-year-old named Shyden Harris decided that 3:00 a.m. on Sunday was the perfect time to turn his condo into a shooting range. He didn't just hit the walls; he managed to shoot out the water pipes. So, not only did he get arrested for unlawful discharge into an occupied dwelling, but he also flooded four different units. That's a special kind of stupid right there.

JOLEEN: Can you imagine being his neighbor? You're fast asleep, dreaming of a world where Idaho's legislature isn't insane, and suddenly there's a gunshot and then five inches of water in your living room. The Boise Fire Department had to show up just to deal with the flooding. It's like a low-budget action movie where the hero is actually just a dickhead with a handgun and a complete lack of impulse control. At least he was cooperative when he walked out of the building, but the damage is already done.

MARK: It's that 'luxury living' we're always hearing about in these new developments. Nothing says high-end lifestyle like having your ceiling collapse because the guy upstairs tried to kill a ghost with a 9mm. He's facing four counts of unlawful discharge, and frankly, he should probably face a few counts of being an absolute asshole to his neighbors. I'm just glad nobody got hit. With how thin these condo walls are getting, it's a miracle the bullets didn't travel through three city blocks.

JOLEEN: It's definitely a theme this month. Between the turkeys and the condo-shooters, I'm starting to think the indoors are just as dangerous as the outdoors. But let's pivot to something even more contentious: the West Ada School District. Sarah Inama, that teacher who was forced to take down those 'Everyone is Welcome' posters last year, has officially filed a federal lawsuit. She's taking on Superintendent Derek Bub and Attorney General Raul Labrador. It's a bold move, and honestly, it's about time someone called out the absurdity of banning a sign that says 'be nice to each other'.

MARK: The district's reasoning was the best part. They actually said that the color of the hands on the poster was 'crossing a political boundary.' Apparently, acknowledging that humans come in different shades is now a radical political statement in Meridian. It's fucking ridiculous. Inama ended up resigning and moving to the Boise School District, where they haven't yet outlawed the concept of basic human decency. Now she's suing for her First Amendment rights and challenging that new state law that restricts flags and banners in schools.

JOLEEN: It's such a bitch of a situation because not a single parent or student actually complained about the posters before the administration stepped in. They just decided on their own that a rainbow-colored sign was too dangerous for sixth-graders. Labrador is involved now because he loves a good culture war more than he loves actually doing his job. The lawsuit claims the law is unconstitutionally vague, and they're not wrong. If a poster saying 'everyone is accepted' is a political manifesto, then we've officially lost the plot.

MARK: I'm sure the state will spend millions of taxpayer dollars defending their right to be petty and exclusionary. It's the Idaho way. Meanwhile, if you want to escape the politics and the poultry, you could go spend three months' rent on a dinner at The Lively. We've been seeing a lot of buzz about it again lately. Chef Edward Higgins is still doing his Michelin-starred thing downtown, and while the food is undeniably great, the bill makes me want to start a GoFundMe just for the appetizers.

JOLEEN: Oh, stop being a cheapskate, Mark. The key lime brûlée is worth the existential crisis you feel when you see the total. It's one of those places where you go to feel like you don't live in a city that still celebrates the Potato Drop. The atmosphere is gorgeous, and the service is usually top-tier, though I've heard some rumblings on Reddit about service inconsistencies lately. It's that classic Boise problem where we want the big-city fine dining experience but we still have a small-town labor pool that's overworked and underpaid.

MARK: I just can't get over the concept of 'destination dining' in a city where I can't even get a decent taco after 10:00 p.m. without going to a basement. But people love The Lively. It's the place to be seen if you're a local developer or a tech transplant who still thinks they're in San Francisco. If you do go, get the ruby trout. It's actually incredible, and it's locally sourced, so you can feel good about yourself while you ignore your mounting credit card debt. Just don't expect to leave for less than a hundred bucks a person if you have more than one drink.

JOLEEN: Well, if you're looking for a cheaper way to be disappointed, you could have watched the Boise State basketball game on Friday. They lost to UNLV in overtime, 86 to 83. It was a total heartbreaker. They were coming off that big win against New Mexico and Dylan Andrews was looking like a god, but then they just couldn't close it out in the extra period. It puts them at fifteen and ten overall, and the conference race is getting tighter than my jeans after a night at The Lively.

MARK: That loss was brutal. UNLV always seems to have our number when it matters most. Leon Rice looked like he wanted to jump into the Boise River after the final buzzer. Now they've got to head to Logan to face Utah State on Wednesday. If they don't win that, the tournament talk is going to start sounding a lot more like 'NIT talk,' which is the collegiate equivalent of getting a participation trophy. They've got the talent, but the consistency is just not there this season.

JOLEEN: At least the Steelheads are keeping things interesting. They beat the Wichita Thunder 5 to 2 on Friday, but then they dropped the Sunday game. It's a rollercoaster, but they're still one of the most fun teams to watch in town. The arena was packed, and the energy was great. If you haven't been to a hockey game lately, you're missing out on the only place in Boise where it's socially acceptable to scream at a stranger and spill beer on yourself simultaneously.

MARK: It's the only sport where the players actually get to punch each other, which is what I wish I could do to the developers building more 'luxury' apartments downtown. Speaking of downtown, Treefort 2026 is just around the corner, and they dropped the final wave of the lineup. Built To Spill is on the list, of course, because I think it's actually against city law to have a music festival without Doug Martsch. They've also added Father John Misty and a bunch of international bands that I've never heard of but will pretend to love so I can look cool.

JOLEEN: Treefort is the one time of year where I actually like this city. They've got the new 'Secret Handshake' VIP pass this year for twelve hundred dollars, which gives you luxury bathrooms and a private bar. It's a bit much, but if it means I don't have to wait in a thirty-minute line to pee behind a dumpster, I might actually consider it. The full schedule dropped last week, so if you're a planner, you can start mapping out your five days of musical gluttony and craft beer. It's March 25th through the 29th, so we've only got a few weeks to prepare our livers.

MARK: Twelve hundred dollars for a 'Secret Handshake' pass sounds like a scam I'd hear about on Nextdoor, but people will pay it just for the clout. I'll stick to the regular pass and just hold it. But if you're planning on walking off that Treefort hangover, stay away from Barber Park. Construction starts today, February 16, on a huge section of the Greenbelt. They're replacing about thirty-two hundred feet of asphalt because it's cracked and dangerous, which, to be fair, describes most of the sidewalks in this town.

JOLEEN: They're making it wider and adding concrete connections to the playground, which is nice, but it means that whole stretch is going to be a mess until mid-May. If you usually bike that way to work, you're going to have to find a detour, and knowing the city of Boise, the detour will probably lead you directly into a construction zone on a different road. It's the circle of life here: if a road isn't being widened, the path next to it is being closed. We're just a city of orange cones and broken dreams.

MARK: And let's look at the real estate market, because it's not getting any easier. Inventory is still sitting around 1.3 months of supply. If you're looking for a house in the four-to-five-hundred-thousand range, you basically have twenty-seven days before everything is gone. It's a shark tank out there. Interestingly, the two-million-dollar-plus market has hit a wall. A ton of those high-end listings were just pulled off the market recently because nobody's buying them. I guess the pool of people who can afford a three-million-dollar house in a state with no legalized weed is smaller than the developers thought.

JOLEEN: The North End and the Bench are still holding strong, though. People are still paying over asking price just to have a zip code that makes them feel superior to people in Meridian. Typical home values are hovering around four hundred eighty-seven thousand dollars, up a bit from last year. It's a 'balanced market' according to the experts, but 'balanced' usually just means 'expensive but not increasing at a rate that causes physical pain.' If you're serious about selling, now is the time before the interest rates do whatever the hell they're going to do next month.

MARK: I love how 'balanced' in Boise means you only have to sell one kidney instead of both to afford a starter home. But we should check the weather, because this nice weekend was a total lie. Today we've got showers and a high of fifty-three, but don't get used to it. By tomorrow, we're looking at flurries and a high of forty-four. Wednesday is the real kick in the teeth, with snow showers and a high of only thirty-eight. Winter is coming back, Joleen, and she's pissed.

JOLEEN: Ugh, I knew it. Every time I think about putting my heavy coat in the back of the closet, Mother Nature shows up to remind me that I live in a high-desert tundra. It's going to be a wet, cold mess for the rest of the week. So if you were planning on a nice walk on the Greenbelt today, you'll get rained on, and if you try on Wednesday, you'll be dodging snowflakes. At least the snow might slow down those turkeys in the North End. I'd love to see a turkey try to maintain its dignity in a blizzard.

MARK: Those turkeys are tough, Joleen. They'll probably just evolve to grow fur or something just to spite us. Anyway, that's the state of the city. We're wet, we're cold, we're being harassed by birds, and we're being sued by teachers. It's just another Monday in the greatest city in the world, or at least the one with the most orange construction signs. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and leave a comment telling us why you think we're wrong about everything. We love the hate; it fuels us.

JOLEEN: And please, for the love of everything holy, stop feeding the turkeys. You're making it worse for everyone, you dickheads. If you have a lead on a story or just want to tell Mark his voice is annoying, email us at boise@thehappeningnetwork.com. We'll be back later this week to see if the city has finally been completely submerged by condo-flooding or if the school board has banned the color purple next. Stay cynical, Boise.

MARK: Actually, Joleen, purple is already a political boundary in some districts. We'll see you next time. Watch out for Greg the turkey on your way to your car. He looks like he's had a rough morning.