WEBVTT 00:00:04.980 --> 00:00:07.620 Matt Abrahams: At some point in our lives, most of us have benefited from 00:00:07.620 --> 00:00:09.450 the advice and guidance from a coach. 00:00:09.900 --> 00:00:12.750 Today we're going to hear from two coaches I know quite well. 00:00:13.260 --> 00:00:16.740 My name is Matt Abrahams, and I teach strategic communication at 00:00:16.740 --> 00:00:18.510 Stanford Graduate School of Business. 00:00:18.930 --> 00:00:21.720 Welcome to this special Quick Thinks episode of Think 00:00:21.720 --> 00:00:23.910 Fast Talk Smart the podcast. 00:00:24.510 --> 00:00:28.110 This episode is very different than any we have ever done. 00:00:28.530 --> 00:00:32.280 You'll have an opportunity to learn from three versions of me, and 00:00:32.280 --> 00:00:34.440 afterward you'll be able to do the same. 00:00:35.070 --> 00:00:39.510 But before we get to that, on December 1st, we're opening up our Think Fast 00:00:39.510 --> 00:00:44.004 Talk Smart online learning community designed to help people around the 00:00:44.004 --> 00:00:48.205 world sharpen communication skills in a personalized, collaborative way. 00:00:48.595 --> 00:00:52.554 Our subscription-based learning community is open to anyone and includes 00:00:52.554 --> 00:00:57.655 incredibly useful tools and features like asynchronous learning lessons, interactive 00:00:57.655 --> 00:01:03.504 learning plans, and quests, book clubs, and not one, but two AI coaching tools. 00:01:04.065 --> 00:01:07.545 Like many of you, we at Think Fast Talk Smart have been experimenting with AI 00:01:07.605 --> 00:01:09.375 and I'm thrilled to share the results. 00:01:09.885 --> 00:01:14.295 With the help of some very talented developers we've co-created two AI tools. 00:01:14.535 --> 00:01:18.075 One is a digital twin created by sounding board that has been trained 00:01:18.075 --> 00:01:20.025 on my writings and coaching practice. 00:01:20.535 --> 00:01:22.125 We'll call him Coach Matt. 00:01:22.664 --> 00:01:26.115 You can have a vocal conversation with him and he sounds just like me. 00:01:26.505 --> 00:01:28.850 It's like having a phone call with me to get the advice you want. 00:01:29.760 --> 00:01:33.510 The other AI tool is a text-based chat bot that has been trained on all of 00:01:33.510 --> 00:01:35.370 our Think Fast Talk Smart episodes. 00:01:35.700 --> 00:01:37.410 We call it Chat Mattt. 00:01:37.910 --> 00:01:41.460 You just type in your queries and Chat Matt types back answers for you. 00:01:42.195 --> 00:01:46.035 I'm super excited about these tools and I thought it would be fun to share them 00:01:46.035 --> 00:01:49.785 with you so you can learn from them and see how useful they can be to you. 00:01:50.414 --> 00:01:53.295 So in this episode, I'm going to have a conversation with Coach 00:01:53.295 --> 00:01:57.015 Matt to get coaching on how best to interact with Chat Matt. 00:01:57.435 --> 00:02:01.105 I'll then follow Coach Matt's advice when I interact with Chat Matt. 00:02:01.815 --> 00:02:02.265 Okay. 00:02:03.130 --> 00:02:06.759 That is the longest setup I have done for any interview. 00:02:07.240 --> 00:02:10.000 Let's get started with my conversation with Coach Matt. 00:02:10.359 --> 00:02:11.440 Welcome, Coach Matt. 00:02:11.620 --> 00:02:13.960 I look forward to our conversation and learning from you. 00:02:14.410 --> 00:02:14.890 Coach Matt: Hi Matt. 00:02:14.890 --> 00:02:15.550 Welcome back. 00:02:15.640 --> 00:02:16.960 I'm excited to work with you again. 00:02:16.960 --> 00:02:19.510 What's one speaking moment you are preparing for today? 00:02:20.040 --> 00:02:22.350 Matt Abrahams: So Coach Matt, I need your advice and guidance. 00:02:22.500 --> 00:02:26.310 I'm interviewing a text-based chat bot I help create that has been 00:02:26.310 --> 00:02:30.390 trained on all of our Think Fast Talk Smart, the podcast, episodes. 00:02:30.720 --> 00:02:34.770 I'm a bit nervous for my conversation because I'm not sure how it will go. 00:02:35.160 --> 00:02:36.960 How can I feel more confident? 00:02:37.020 --> 00:02:40.049 Coach Matt: Alright, let's think about this for a sec. That's fascinating. 00:02:40.290 --> 00:02:42.420 You're essentially interviewing your own creation. 00:02:42.570 --> 00:02:45.510 I can hear both excitement and some uncertainty in your voice. 00:02:45.540 --> 00:02:48.840 You've built something impressive, but now you're stepping into uncharted 00:02:48.840 --> 00:02:50.730 territory to see how it performs. 00:02:50.880 --> 00:02:51.959 Let me ask you this. 00:02:52.335 --> 00:02:55.095 When you think about sitting down with this chat bot, what 00:02:55.095 --> 00:02:57.285 specifically has you feeling nervous? 00:02:57.495 --> 00:03:01.575 Is it more about whether the technology will work as expected, or are you worried 00:03:01.575 --> 00:03:05.475 about how you'll come across during the conversation, or something else entirely? 00:03:05.715 --> 00:03:08.685 I'm curious because understanding the root of that nervousness will 00:03:08.685 --> 00:03:11.685 help us figure out the best way to get you feeling confident and ready. 00:03:12.555 --> 00:03:16.095 Matt Abrahams: So I think I'm nervous both about the technology working or 00:03:16.095 --> 00:03:20.174 not, and I'm, I'm a little nervous to, to see what the results are. 00:03:20.180 --> 00:03:21.855 Are they gonna be accurate? 00:03:21.855 --> 00:03:23.295 Are they gonna be what I think they should be? 00:03:23.295 --> 00:03:23.655 Coach Matt: Got it. 00:03:23.805 --> 00:03:24.315 I hear you. 00:03:24.525 --> 00:03:28.305 So you've got this dual anxiety, the tech performance piece, and then the 00:03:28.305 --> 00:03:32.265 bigger question of whether your creation actually reflects what you hoped it would. 00:03:32.505 --> 00:03:33.405 Here's what I'm thinking. 00:03:33.405 --> 00:03:36.255 You're dealing with what I call future-focused anxiety. 00:03:36.435 --> 00:03:39.135 You're worried about outcomes you can't control right now. 00:03:39.315 --> 00:03:42.405 The technology might hiccup, the responses might surprise you, 00:03:42.675 --> 00:03:45.465 and that's actually pretty normal when you're testing something new. 00:03:45.645 --> 00:03:47.865 Let me offer you a reframe that might help. 00:03:48.165 --> 00:03:51.315 Instead of thinking of this as a high stakes test where everything 00:03:51.315 --> 00:03:54.795 needs to be perfect, what if you approached it more like a curious 00:03:54.795 --> 00:03:56.355 conversation with a colleague? 00:03:56.595 --> 00:03:58.875 You're not evaluating whether you're a good creator. 00:03:58.995 --> 00:04:01.245 You're simply exploring what this tool can do. 00:04:01.485 --> 00:04:04.695 Before we dive into some specific techniques, tell me, when you 00:04:04.695 --> 00:04:07.905 imagine the conversation going well, what does that look like to you? 00:04:08.055 --> 00:04:10.395 What would make you feel like, yes, this worked? 00:04:10.485 --> 00:04:12.195 Matt Abrahams: I love the idea of the reframe. 00:04:12.205 --> 00:04:16.525 I, I think success for me is that I get results that are actionable. 00:04:16.525 --> 00:04:18.895 That make sense, and I think would benefit everybody. 00:04:18.895 --> 00:04:18.955 Coach Matt: Hmm. 00:04:19.315 --> 00:04:19.585 Okay. 00:04:19.585 --> 00:04:20.245 I love that. 00:04:20.455 --> 00:04:22.255 You're focused on value and impact. 00:04:22.315 --> 00:04:24.385 That's exactly where your energy should be. 00:04:24.475 --> 00:04:27.085 That tells me you're approaching this from the right place. 00:04:27.205 --> 00:04:29.335 Here's a quick confidence tool I want you to try. 00:04:29.485 --> 00:04:32.695 Since you're worried about both the tech and the results, let's use 00:04:32.695 --> 00:04:34.435 what I call productive preparation. 00:04:35.025 --> 00:04:37.695 Instead of trying to predict what might go wrong, spend a few 00:04:37.695 --> 00:04:40.695 minutes thinking through what you'll do if things go really well. 00:04:40.845 --> 00:04:44.685 Picture yourself getting those actionable, sensible results that could help everyone. 00:04:44.835 --> 00:04:46.125 This does two things. 00:04:46.305 --> 00:04:50.475 It gets your brain focused on success rather than failure, and it actually 00:04:50.475 --> 00:04:53.685 prepares you to make the most of good moments when they happen. 00:04:53.895 --> 00:04:57.015 Also, remember, you know this content better than almost anyone. 00:04:57.165 --> 00:04:59.865 You've been living and breathing Think Fast Talk Smart. 00:05:00.170 --> 00:05:01.040 Trust that knowledge. 00:05:01.190 --> 00:05:02.480 The chat bot learned from you. 00:05:02.510 --> 00:05:04.370 So in many ways, you're the expert in the room. 00:05:04.370 --> 00:05:05.000 What do you think? 00:05:05.180 --> 00:05:08.570 Does that reframe feel helpful or is there another angle of this 00:05:08.570 --> 00:05:09.980 nervousness we should tackle? 00:05:10.995 --> 00:05:12.675 Matt Abrahams: That reframe is really helpful. 00:05:12.675 --> 00:05:16.755 Focus on what can happen that's positive and really put my energy there. 00:05:16.845 --> 00:05:20.085 Let's say Chat Matt does not perform as well as I wanted it to. 00:05:20.085 --> 00:05:22.965 I'll have to give constructive feedback to the people who developed it. 00:05:23.295 --> 00:05:25.845 I want to give direct feedback, but I don't wanna offend 00:05:25.845 --> 00:05:26.955 them or hurt their feelings. 00:05:27.165 --> 00:05:29.865 How should I approach that situation if it comes up? 00:05:29.895 --> 00:05:32.145 Coach Matt: You, you're being really thoughtful about this and that 00:05:32.145 --> 00:05:35.175 care for the developer's feelings actually shows great leadership. 00:05:35.295 --> 00:05:38.805 Let me give you a structure that can help you be both direct and respectful. 00:05:39.055 --> 00:05:40.945 It's called what, so what, now what? 00:05:41.275 --> 00:05:45.445 And it's perfect for giving constructive feedback without creating defensiveness. 00:05:45.595 --> 00:05:46.615 Here's how it works. 00:05:46.795 --> 00:05:47.965 Start with the what. 00:05:48.325 --> 00:05:50.605 Describe what you observed without judgment. 00:05:50.845 --> 00:05:54.085 Then the so what, explain why it matters to the bigger picture. 00:05:54.265 --> 00:05:58.375 Finally, now what, suggest a path forward that feels collaborative. 00:05:58.855 --> 00:06:00.175 For example, what? 00:06:00.475 --> 00:06:04.765 I noticed the chatbot struggled with some nuanced questions about handling anxiety. 00:06:04.915 --> 00:06:05.515 So what? 00:06:06.300 --> 00:06:09.450 Since that's such a core part of our content, we wanna make sure 00:06:09.450 --> 00:06:11.700 people get reliable guidance there. 00:06:11.789 --> 00:06:12.479 Now what? 00:06:12.960 --> 00:06:16.890 I'd love to work with you to identify specific episodes or concepts we 00:06:16.890 --> 00:06:18.270 could emphasize in the training. 00:06:18.690 --> 00:06:21.719 See how that lands as helpful rather than critical. 00:06:21.900 --> 00:06:25.349 You're focusing on the work, not the people, and you're positioning yourself 00:06:25.349 --> 00:06:26.940 as a partner in making it better. 00:06:27.120 --> 00:06:29.609 Wanna try crafting one example using this structure? 00:06:29.669 --> 00:06:32.909 Matt Abrahams: You know, Coach Matt, that's a great structure one I really 00:06:32.909 --> 00:06:36.599 like and I love your advice and I'm gonna take care of the practice in a little bit. 00:06:36.810 --> 00:06:39.150 But I'd really like your advice on one more thing. 00:06:39.480 --> 00:06:43.290 When I sit down with the chat bot to type in some questions, can you gimme 00:06:43.290 --> 00:06:48.000 a suggestion for a good question that I could ask to test to see if it really 00:06:48.000 --> 00:06:50.550 does know its communication advice? 00:06:50.610 --> 00:06:51.750 Coach Matt: Here's what I'd suggest. 00:06:51.900 --> 00:06:55.440 Ask it something that requires it to synthesize multiple concepts 00:06:55.440 --> 00:06:57.210 and apply them to a real scenario. 00:06:57.455 --> 00:07:01.355 Something like, I'm about to give a presentation to senior executives 00:07:01.355 --> 00:07:03.725 who seem skeptical about my proposal. 00:07:03.875 --> 00:07:07.235 I'm feeling anxious and I only have two minutes to make my case. 00:07:07.415 --> 00:07:07.970 What's your advice? 00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:12.240 This question is perfect because it tests whether the chat bot can 00:07:12.450 --> 00:07:16.140 recognize the anxiety component and offer practical tools. 00:07:16.200 --> 00:07:19.980 A good response should touch on managing nerves using a clear structure 00:07:19.980 --> 00:07:23.910 like problem, solution, benefit, and maybe even audience focused language. 00:07:24.140 --> 00:07:26.960 If it just gives generic advice or misses those layers, 00:07:26.989 --> 00:07:28.280 you'll know there's work to do. 00:07:28.430 --> 00:07:29.330 What do you think? 00:07:29.450 --> 00:07:31.640 Does that feel like it would give you a good read on whether 00:07:31.640 --> 00:07:32.930 Chat Matt really gets it? 00:07:33.590 --> 00:07:35.419 Matt Abrahams: I think that would be great. 00:07:35.419 --> 00:07:37.849 I think it would give me a very good read, and I'm very 00:07:37.849 --> 00:07:39.469 impressed by your detailed answer. 00:07:39.469 --> 00:07:42.080 Thanks so much for that, and do me a favor. 00:07:42.390 --> 00:07:45.330 Give me a goodbye that I can share with other people. 00:07:45.390 --> 00:07:47.280 How would you close out our conversation? 00:07:47.520 --> 00:07:49.650 Coach Matt: I'm gonna create a card for you with that goodbye, 00:07:49.650 --> 00:07:51.060 so you can easily share it. 00:07:51.240 --> 00:07:51.870 There you go. 00:07:52.050 --> 00:07:55.290 And thank you for catching that I used what, so what, now what, in my 00:07:55.290 --> 00:07:59.100 feedback, that's exactly the kind of awareness that's going to serve you well. 00:07:59.190 --> 00:08:00.780 You're more ready than you think you are. 00:08:00.930 --> 00:08:01.980 Good luck with Chat Matt. 00:08:03.599 --> 00:08:08.250 Matt Abrahams: Thank you very much, and that goodbye message is fantastic. 00:08:08.969 --> 00:08:11.070 We've now heard helpful advice from Coach Matt. 00:08:11.429 --> 00:08:15.679 Let's switch to the keyboard and have a typed conversation with Chat Matt. 00:08:16.289 --> 00:08:19.919 Since many of you are listening on the go and not watching, we've used 00:08:19.919 --> 00:08:24.479 a text to voice tool so you can hear what Chat Matt typed back to us. 00:08:26.138 --> 00:08:29.558 Chat Matt, I'm about to give a presentation to senior executives 00:08:29.558 --> 00:08:31.658 who seem skeptical about my proposal. 00:08:32.138 --> 00:08:35.528 I'm feeling anxious and I only have two minutes to make my case. 00:08:35.798 --> 00:08:36.848 What's your advice? 00:08:37.808 --> 00:08:40.928 Chat Matt: First, I want to thank you for sharing a really important and common 00:08:40.928 --> 00:08:45.848 concern, feeling anxious before addressing a skeptical high stakes audience. 00:08:46.058 --> 00:08:46.988 Let's jump right in. 00:08:47.648 --> 00:08:51.578 If you only have two minutes, my advice is to set very clear boundaries for 00:08:51.578 --> 00:08:53.528 yourself and your message from the start. 00:08:53.828 --> 00:08:55.418 Think about what your bottom line is. 00:08:56.438 --> 00:09:00.188 What's the one thing you want those senior executives to remember or walk away with? 00:09:00.458 --> 00:09:02.138 You don't have time to tell them everything. 00:09:02.858 --> 00:09:05.888 Instead, focus on delivering your high level overview as 00:09:05.888 --> 00:09:07.808 succinctly and clearly as possible. 00:09:07.898 --> 00:09:09.013 Now, let's talk anxiety. 00:09:09.523 --> 00:09:12.488 What I'm really hearing you say is that the stakes feel high, 00:09:12.608 --> 00:09:13.988 and that's totally normal. 00:09:14.858 --> 00:09:19.448 In fact, upwards of 85% of people feel nervous in these sorts of situations. 00:09:19.538 --> 00:09:20.648 Here's what I recommend. 00:09:21.548 --> 00:09:25.748 Before you present, do something to help you be more present oriented. 00:09:26.528 --> 00:09:32.168 For example, take a short walk, listen to a favorite song, or even 00:09:32.168 --> 00:09:36.548 more practically, if you're pressed for time, take a few deep breaths. 00:09:37.538 --> 00:09:42.008 These techniques help manage your symptoms of anxiety, allowing you to focus on 00:09:42.008 --> 00:09:43.388 your message rather than your nerves. 00:09:44.918 --> 00:09:48.248 When you get up there, start by setting expectations. 00:09:49.058 --> 00:09:54.008 For example, you might say, I'm really excited to share my proposal. 00:09:55.208 --> 00:09:58.388 I'd like to take just two minutes to outline the key points, and 00:09:58.388 --> 00:09:59.888 then I welcome your questions. 00:10:00.818 --> 00:10:05.078 This approach signals confidence, controls the flow, and sets respectful 00:10:05.078 --> 00:10:06.828 boundaries with a skeptical audience. 00:10:07.648 --> 00:10:12.578 And finally, remember, you don't need to answer every question in advance, but 00:10:12.578 --> 00:10:14.558 you should anticipate the toughest ones. 00:10:15.218 --> 00:10:17.798 Take some time to reflect on the questions you're likely to 00:10:17.798 --> 00:10:19.508 get and practice your answers. 00:10:20.258 --> 00:10:24.158 This preparation not only builds confidence, but also ensures you're 00:10:24.158 --> 00:10:26.438 ready if the conversation shifts quickly. 00:10:27.608 --> 00:10:28.713 So here's my summary. 00:10:29.918 --> 00:10:31.358 Clarify your main point. 00:10:31.598 --> 00:10:32.978 Set clear boundaries. 00:10:33.368 --> 00:10:37.268 Use presence techniques to tame anxiety and anticipate questions. 00:10:38.168 --> 00:10:40.723 You've got this and I'm excited for you to make your case. 00:10:42.998 --> 00:10:43.868 Matt Abrahams: Thanks, Chat Matt. 00:10:44.258 --> 00:10:48.008 Your advice about my approach is very good, but I don't feel like you 00:10:48.008 --> 00:10:52.028 gave me insight into how to craft my proposal in a short amount of time. 00:10:52.088 --> 00:10:54.698 Without a strong proposal, I'll be in trouble. 00:10:55.298 --> 00:10:59.588 Can you please provide a bit more advice on how I can be more clear and compelling 00:10:59.708 --> 00:11:02.258 in my two minutes I have for my proposal? 00:11:03.608 --> 00:11:06.728 Chat Matt: Thank you for that question, and I really appreciate 00:11:06.728 --> 00:11:09.938 your honesty and drive to get this right under time pressure. 00:11:10.568 --> 00:11:11.768 So let's jump right in. 00:11:12.308 --> 00:11:14.768 When you've only got a couple of minutes to craft and deliver 00:11:14.768 --> 00:11:18.818 your proposal, clarity and focus are absolutely essential. 00:11:19.538 --> 00:11:22.268 Here's what I'd recommend based on my experience and 00:11:22.268 --> 00:11:23.798 the insights from our guests. 00:11:24.578 --> 00:11:28.358 First, start by clearly understanding the mission or priorities of the person 00:11:28.358 --> 00:11:30.008 or group you're making the request to. 00:11:30.578 --> 00:11:31.688 That's your North star. 00:11:32.288 --> 00:11:35.318 If you're not speaking directly to what matters to them, it's 00:11:35.318 --> 00:11:36.818 game over before you begin. 00:11:37.628 --> 00:11:42.248 Second, in your two minutes, you'll want to map out these core ingredients. 00:11:43.058 --> 00:11:44.708 State the big problem. 00:11:45.608 --> 00:11:48.698 Briefly outline the larger problem or opportunity you 00:11:48.698 --> 00:11:49.958 want to be part of solving. 00:11:50.648 --> 00:11:53.348 This helps your audience see the significance right away. 00:11:54.098 --> 00:11:55.268 Narrow your focus. 00:11:55.838 --> 00:12:00.378 Zero in on the specific piece of that problem you, and only you, 00:12:00.808 --> 00:12:02.738 are uniquely positioned to address. 00:12:03.518 --> 00:12:04.718 Show the opportunity. 00:12:04.748 --> 00:12:08.828 Clearly convey that this sub problem hasn't been solved yet, but you have 00:12:08.828 --> 00:12:10.898 the insight or approach to tackle it. 00:12:11.798 --> 00:12:13.208 Present concrete actions. 00:12:13.988 --> 00:12:17.528 Boil your approach down to three to five crisp action steps. 00:12:18.308 --> 00:12:21.308 You don't need all the details, just the highlights that demonstrate 00:12:21.308 --> 00:12:22.328 you've thought this through. 00:12:23.468 --> 00:12:24.578 Paint the future state. 00:12:25.508 --> 00:12:28.868 End with a quick summary of what things will look like once you succeed. 00:12:29.798 --> 00:12:31.898 What's the positive future you're proposing? 00:12:32.678 --> 00:12:37.838 And remember, because attention is our most precious commodity, parachuting in 00:12:37.838 --> 00:12:42.548 with an engaging start, a provocative question, a vivid statistic, or 00:12:42.548 --> 00:12:46.448 a quick story can make all the difference in those opening seconds. 00:12:47.438 --> 00:12:53.048 So if I were to summarize for you, focus on concision, relevance, and precision. 00:12:53.858 --> 00:12:55.763 Think, what's their mission? 00:12:56.723 --> 00:12:57.893 What's the big problem? 00:12:58.103 --> 00:13:00.443 How do I and my approach uniquely fit? 00:13:01.313 --> 00:13:02.183 What will I do? 00:13:03.113 --> 00:13:04.613 What does success look like? 00:13:05.543 --> 00:13:08.243 Hit those beats and you'll make your two minutes count. 00:13:08.963 --> 00:13:12.203 Thanks for giving me the opportunity to clarify, and I wish you the 00:13:12.203 --> 00:13:13.378 best of luck with your proposal. 00:13:14.543 --> 00:13:17.213 Let's get you set up for that future state of success. 00:13:18.653 --> 00:13:21.503 Matt Abrahams: A big thank you to both Coach Matt and Chat Matt. 00:13:21.863 --> 00:13:25.163 Every time I work with either of them, I'm amazed at what is 00:13:25.163 --> 00:13:27.113 possible with AI technology. 00:13:27.713 --> 00:13:30.923 I hope you learn something from our coaching session about giving feedback 00:13:30.923 --> 00:13:32.603 and asking insightful questions. 00:13:32.963 --> 00:13:33.778 Now it's your turn. 00:13:34.393 --> 00:13:37.753 I invite you to try out Coach Matt and Chat Matt on our Think Fast 00:13:37.753 --> 00:13:39.103 Talk Smart Learning Community. 00:13:39.643 --> 00:13:56.343 You can sign up at fastersmarter.io/learning.