Morgan Teruel: Thanks for tuning in to the Sandals Church podcast. Our vision as a church is to be real with ourselves, God, and others. We're glad you're here, and we hope you enjoy this message.
Pastor Matthew Stephen Brown: Hi, guys. Welcome to Sandals Church. I'm glad you're here today. Today, we're gonna talk about an extraordinarily controversial issue, and this just this issue, sexuality, isn't just controversial outside the church, it's controversial inside the church. So what I'm gonna do is I'm just gonna take a grenade out.
I'm gonna pull the pin and throw myself on it, and you're all gonna judge me as I blow up. Amen? That's what's gonna that's what's gonna happen. And so so everybody is gonna be offended today. And so here's what I want you to say, especially those of you who are my my amen crowd.
I want you to pray about when you amen because there's gonna be there's gonna be some people in here, that are watching online or that are sitting at your campus and they're struggling with this issue. And what we don't want them to feel is clobbered. We want them to feel loved. And so I I don't want them to leave our church just saying, hey, these people hate me. I want them to leave, church today saying, these people love me enough to tell me what I need to hear.
And that's my goal for this. And so I wanna talk to you guys about this idea of sexuality. And some of you are completely offended by, you know, all the different forms of sexuality there are today and you're just aghast at the list of of genders and sexualities and types. And here's what I'd say. I think as Christians, this is good for us and here's why.
Because we can now articulate our sexuality and we can say this is how I see myself and this is how I define myself and this is what Christians were always meant to do. We were not meant to be like everyone else. We have been set apart by God for God and we're called to do that sexually with our lives. So here's the challenge. As I speak to you, as I preach to you, whether you're a Christian or not, whether you came to church And by the way, if this is your first time, I'm sorry.
Whether you're a Christian or not, you've never been to church or not, everyone is going to view my sermon today through this lens. You see sexuality as you. It's about my desires. It's it's personal. Now I would love to say that that's the non Christians in our group.
But what I'm finding as your pastor is this is where most Christians live today. Well, I'm gonna I'm gonna love God. I wanna be a spiritual person. I wanna go to church. I wanna make a difference.
But when it comes to sex, it's about me. It's about my desires, and my God would never ask me to change my desires. It's personal. K? And then we have other people that say, well, no no no.
Sex is about God's desires and it's spiritual. It's spiritual. And that's the tension. What is sex? And we have to define for ourselves as Christians what is sex, and you have to define for yourself as an an individual what is sex.
We have to make a decision. And here's what I want you I want you to do today. Just wrestle with what I'm saying. You may not agree with it. You may not like it.
You may feel offended, but I want you to know that what Paul is saying here in Ephesians chapter 4 and chapter 5, he says, the Bible says, has eternal consequences. So this is a big deal. And that's what we do in culture. Things that are really big, we minimize. And things that we should minimize, we make huge deals in our culture.
This is a big deal. Where you're headed for eternity is a big deal. So let's just begin with a word of prayer. So I'm I'm gonna pray, amen, that I would be unnecessarily not offensive. Amen?
Because you know me. I can just I can just, like, spike it when I don't need to. But I'm also gonna pray that you would not be super sensitive ready to be offended. So I'm gonna pull back on my offensive nature. Pray for me.
And I want you to pull back on how easily you're offended and just listen to what I'm saying. So let's pray together. Heavenly father, borrow my mouth to use your words, God, and speak to us as a church that lives in a sexual culture. And, God, challenge us today to see ourselves, whether we're gay or straight, young or old, single or married, as being called to a different form of sexuality than everyone else. God, challenge us with this today.
We pray in Jesus' name. Amen. So right now, we're in Ephesians chapter 4 verse 17 through 24, and I'm not gonna run verse by verse. Some churches think that that's the way you should study scriptures, verse by verse. What I'm gonna try to teach you through Ephesians is thought by thought.
And some of these thoughts are intermingled and and and find their selves all over the place. So I'm gonna skip around a little bit, a little bit 4 and a little bit in 5, but these things weave together to talk about what I wanna share with you today. You are called to live a different sexual ethic with your body and your life. So Paul says this, with the Lord's authority k, Paul's saying this is of God. This isn't some, you know, misogynistic, patriarchal, you know, old fashioned, irrelevant, you know, just stuck in the in the woods, old white dude.
Okay? He's saying this is with God's authority. And so if you're a Christian, you need to listen up. Okay? I need to live no longer as the Gentiles do.
He's talking about culture. You see, we we view Christianity from the perspective that we've been in charge, we've been in power. That is not the case when Paul is writing this. K? Rome is completely unconcerned with some dude that died on a cross.
They don't care. He was a criminal. Move on. Paul is saying we are to no longer live as the Gentiles do. And what this word means is people who don't know God.
Do you know God? If you do, you need to live differently. You're called to live differently. He says, for they and everyone who's offended by the outcome of the election, they are hopelessly confused. Stop change trying to change the world through elections.
The way God changes the world is through the elect, and that's you. You and I are called. We are the elect. We are the choice of God, and we need to start living like we've been chosen. He says, Their minds are full of darkness.
They have wandered from the life that God gives. Right now, right where you are, you are either walking with God or you are wandering away from God. Where are you headed? Listen, it's because they've closed their minds and they have hardened their hearts against him. They have no sense of shame.
They live for lustful pleasure, and they eagerly practice every kind of impurity. Sounds like some of the music you listen to. Amen? I listen to worship music all the time, pastor. You're a liar.
You're a liar. But that isn't what you learned about Christ. Do you know why you should be in church? So that you can learn about Christ. Because if you don't learn about Christ, what you learn is to follow your desires.
He says, since you've heard about Jesus, you have learned that truth comes from him, not from seminaries, not from, colleges, not from universities, not from science. It comes from him. Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by what? Lust and deception. Instead, let the spirit renew your thoughts and your attitudes.
So why? I don't think God would ever wanna change me. No. That's exactly what he wants to do. Change you.
Put on your new nature. Listen. Couple weeks ago, I said, without grace, you're just like everybody else. With grace, you can be become you can become just like Jesus. People got offended.
Read scripture. Put on your new nature. Created to be like God. Bam. That's who you're supposed to be.
Truly, listen to this, righteous and holy. Holy. We're gonna talk a lot about this word holiness because it does not mean perfection. Holiness in its in its essence means unlike anyone else, separate. So that's what God means when he says, I am holy.
He says, I am not like anything you've ever seen. So why does God, who is holy, why does he care so much about sex, right? Why? When you read through the Bible, sexual sin is mentioned in almost every book. Why does God care so much about sex?
Why does it even matter? Number 1, sex uniquely creates oneness. It uniquely creates oneness. Jesus is asked about his thoughts on divorce. And like many of you who are Christians today, Jews in the first century thought they could get a divorce whenever they wanted.
And that's how most Christians, unfortunately, behave today. Why? Because sex for you is personal, not spiritual. Marriage for you is just personal, not spiritual. And so you're like, Jesus, was Moses right or wrong when he said we could get divorced?
You know what Jesus said? Moses only allowed you to get divorced because he knew your hearts were hard. Jesus said, haven't you read the scriptures? They record, listen to this, that from the beginning, God made them male and female. Now that's controversial today.
That's that's that's a challenge today. But your gender comes from God. It comes from God. And I know some of you are struggling with that, you wrestle with that, we love you. We love you.
Sandals is a safe place for you for you to find out who God's called you to be, not who you feel called to be. Those are 2 different directions. And we're not here to judge, clobber, wound, maim. We're here to point people to Jesus. And Jesus says, and this explains why a man leaves his father and mother, listen to this, and is joined to his wife and the 2 are united into 1.
You see, one of the things that God wants you to know about him is that God is a singular union. In Genesis, God defines himself as Elohim. That is the name that he defines himself as. And in Hebrew, it is one God in the plural. Who created you?
The one God who is plural. What is marriage? 2, who become 1. Marriage is the way that we reflect the unity of God. So that's why as Christians, sex is so spiritual for us.
And let me just say this, sex is always religious. You either reflect the higher God or the lower g God. You choose, but it is always religious. It is always spiritual. We choose which god, the one true god, or the lower god, Satan, that we choose to reflect when we have sex.
One god says it's all about my sensuality. I can do whatever I want. Freedom without responsibility, that's hell. The other says no. No.
No. No. The one true God says no. No. When you have sex, you are reflecting me.
You see, sex is a beautiful way that God has allowed a husband and a wife to experience oneness. That's what Jesus is saying. Now listen to this. Since they are no longer 2 but 1, let no one split it apart. Now if you're divorced, I'm not here to clobber you.
K? Amen. You're welcome. But here's what you know. Even if you felt like divorce was necessary, you know it's awful.
Why does God hate divorce? Not because He hates you, because He wants to judge you, because He wants to send you to hell. God knows divorce is awful because it's awful. He knows what it does to people. He knows what happens when 2 people become 1 and they are ripped apart.
You thought marriage was hard? Try divorce. You think living with a person is impossible? Try living without them. It's so much fun.
I get to see it front row every day. Right? Marriage is hard when you're on the same team. Try it on separate teams. That's why we have the courts so involved.
Number 2, this is huge, sex creates life and it makes you like God. You see, God is the author of life. God is the creator of life. When you have sex, you are like God. You are powerful in that you have the ability to create life and that is a powerful thing.
It's a powerful thing. And many of you, especially you guys, you wanna have sex but you're not ready to create life so don't have sex. You need to be ready to be a father if you're ready for intercourse. And if you're not ready to be a father, you're not ready for sex because that's what sex does. It creates life.
You see, it makes us like God. Next, because God loves you, you need to know this. Sex creates real life problems. Real problems. So many young teenage boys are so disappointed when they read that Jesus says there's no sex in heaven.
They're like, I don't even know if I wanna go then. I said, But here's the thing. Sex is a beautiful, wonderful thing, but I want you to think about all the pain that it causes. Think about that. Why are you so insecure?
Ladies, why do you feel so not pretty? Men, why do you feel so not manly? Because sex messes with all of us. It hurts us. For all the beauty that it brings, it brings far more brokenness and it wounds us deeply.
And let me just say this. For those of you who think the the Bible's, you know, you know, outdated and old fashioned, if we were supposed to have sex with whomever we want, whenever we want, why is there so much disease when we do that? Think about this for a second. If we all just did it God's way, disease sexually would disappear. If that's what we're created for, then why does it go so terribly wrong when we do it our own way?
This week, I was on a deep dive Google search. Anybody ever done that? Like you just lose yourself? You just lose yourself for a moment? But I've always wondered this question.
Why did they wear wigs? Why did George Washington wear a wig? Why did they wear wigs? It's gross. It's animal hair.
You ever wondered that? It's not like like who said that looks good? I don't know who said that. So I did a deep dive. Why do they wear wigs?
You wanna know why? Because everyone had syphilis, and it caused your hair to fall out. Right? You're welcome. That was free.
So so okay. Well, so then if sex is so bad, why did God create it? Why not just not create it? Why not why not never tempt us? Well, God created sex for a couple reasons.
Number 1, physical comfort. Life is hard enough. It's difficult enough. Sex is a great break from all the stresses of life. It is.
That's why people find it so addicting. That's why people find find it so enchanting. K? It's it's a wonderful way to escape the suffering of life. God created sex because he loves you, and he knows that there's beauty and oneness.
He knows that there is. And he wants you to feel that, that closeness because that closeness is a reflection of who he is. Next, sex creates emotional intimacy. K? If you're a guy, write that down, like, a 1000 times.
Emotional intimacy, being able to connect and be vulnerable with each other. The first thing that sin affects is Adam and Eve's intimacy. They cover themselves because they realize they're naked. You see, sex is the way that we bear all and we give all and we're still loved. Like clothes lie.
Amen. Nudity straight up honest. It's just it's just real. This is what it is, baby. Next, we talked about this a little bit before, but sex creates a spiritual union.
And for us as Christians, this union matters. It matters And we need to not step out of that lightly. One of my favorite pastor's wives of all time, she said, did you ever consider divorce? She said, murder? Yes.
Divorce? No. Listen. Marriage is not always easy, but it is worth it. Hang in there.
Do your best. Here's the problem though. So God created sex for physical comfort. Sinful sex creates physical disease. I mean, you're never gonna see those old weird dudes with the wigs again the same.
Amen? Yeah. Syphilis. Syphilis. Syphilis.
It creates physical disease. Think of everything our country did to keep you from getting COVID. Don't you wish they'd make the same effort for sexual transmitted diseases? Yeah. We just pretend pretend that disease isn't real.
There's an epidemic in Europe of sexually transmitted diseases that is on a scale that they've never seen. And I listened to a news reporter and said, yeah. We're not exactly sure what's causing this. I'm like, I know. I know.
You're all gonna be wearing wigs in Europe. I'm telling you, it's coming. It's coming. Right? Everything comes back.
Right? Everything comes back around. I never thought bell bottoms would come back, but they did. Now next, listen to me. So sex was created by God for emotional intimacy.
You know what happens when you constantly have sex with people outside of marriage? It creates emotional insecurity. When you have sex with somebody and they dump you, you gave it your all. There's nothing more. Always love it when guys sleep with a gal and they're I mean, I don't love that, but when that was what they say is, well, why can't we just be friends afterwards?
I'm like, right. Right. She got naked. She gave you everything she had, and you said, nope. Let's just be friends.
I'm surprised she doesn't kill you. That's what it does. Sex says I'm all in. And then someone says, no. I'm not.
It messes with you. And, ladies, it messes with you more. Women who have multiple sex partners struggle immensely attaching to a male. You see, that's why so much of feminism is just gross. You were never called to be the same as a man.
You were called to be who you are in God. Don't act like the moron men. Right? Don't act like them. Act like the woman that God's called you to be.
It messes with your emotions. It just does. Next, sex was meant to be given to you by God to create spiritual union. When you have sex outside of marriage, it creates spiritual confusion. Listen to what Paul says.
They are hopelessly confused. But there are some real spiritual realities to when you choose to have sex your own way, when you say, you know what? This is just about me. Sexual sinlessness destroys my relationship, my intimacy with God. When you choose to be physically intimate with someone in sin, you are choosing to no longer be spiritually intimate with God.
And I'm not talking about salvation. I'm talking about your relationship with God. It's not right. So if you can't feel God, sense God, experience God, who are you sleeping with? Who are you sleeping with?
What are you watching? Look look, Pornhub does not connect you to Jesus. It connects you to the devil. Stop looking at it. Stop watching it.
It's not for you. And far too many of us as Christians, we just watch whatever we want. Oh, because it's not that bad. Well, how important is your relationship with God? You need you need to think about that.
It disconnects me intimately from God, and I hear all the time from people, I don't hear God. I don't feel God. Listen to me. The silence that you're experiencing is from God. It is from God.
And he's saying, I don't wanna be like this. That's why in the book of Corinthians, Paul says, can Christ be united with you when you unite yourself with a prostitute? You know, it's a rhetorical question. The answer is no. God's not gonna partake in that with you.
He will not be a part of that. And so he pulls away. And then you're like, I don't feel God. I don't know if God's real. No, the fact that you feel His absence means that at one time you've experienced His presence.
So run back. Ephesians 4:19, they have become callous. How do you get a callous? You have a wound. You have something that hurts and your body creates the callous so it no longer wounds you.
That's the benefit of a callous. You know what the negative of a callous is? You no longer feel. They become callous. And this is what's happened to so many of you.
You've looked at pornography so many times. It no longer bothers you. Your heart is callous. There's a gigantic calloused over your heart separating you from God, and they've given themselves up to sensuality. Look, you say, I I can't hear God, I can't feel God, I can't sense God.
Who are you intimate with? Is God blessing that or has God judged that? Next, and and this is huge, so many of you think, well, God God's trying to ruin my life. No, he's trying to save your life. Sexual sin diverts me off the best path for my life, especially those of you who are young.
You think God is trying to rob you of a good time? No, he's trying to save you from hell. That's what he's trying to save you from. And some of you say, well, well, listen to me. I I just I just I I don't believe God would ever say anything against love.
I don't believe that. Let me tell you something. On earth, we express love through sex. Right? I wanna make love.
In heaven, that's not how love is expressed. It is not expressed through sex. It is expressed through sacrifice. Sacrifice is the currency of heaven. It's the currency of heaven.
And here's the thing that you need to know. Jesus Christ came down to earth not because He desired you sexually, but because He wanted to save you spiritually And he sacrificed himself for you. And as Christians, we we gotta stop judging everybody who doesn't know Christ and we gotta look at ourselves. Because when you read through Ephesians 4 18 17 through 24, you're gonna see they, them, their. And then it switches to you.
You. You see, we've preached this sexual ethic to the world that does not know God and they receive it as hate. It's only a message of love when you've received his love through Jesus and you realize, oh my gosh, God is not trying to ruin my life. He's trying to save my soul. Ephesians 4 18 says their minds are full of darkness.
Theirs are where's your mind? Where's your mind? They have wandered far from the life that God gives. And if we're not careful, we're all gonna wander. We're all gonna wander.
And we live in this world that just lies. You should be able to do whatever you want that never works out. That never works out. Don't you remember being a kid? When I'm an adult, I'm gonna do whatever I want.
And if you did that, you're watching from prison. There's no world where you do whatever you want and it works out. That world does not exist. Because when you follow your passions, when you follow your desires, And here's the thing so many of you miss when you read Ephesians 45. You confuse the words sensuality, sex, greed, and idolatry, and you think they're separate subjects.
They're all the same. What happens when you try to sexually satisfy yourself is you're never satisfied. You want more. That's what he's talking about when he refers to greed. Greed can never be satisfied.
And that's what he's talking about when he talks about idolatry is you worship sex, not God who created sex. And that's what happens to so many young people. They just get so broken and so wounded and so hurt and you throw off counsel, you throw off wisdom, and you follow your your your passions. And I'm not saying God can't bring redemption to your life. I'm not saying God can't bless your life.
I'm just saying when you walk off on this road, you have diverted yourself from the best path for your life. And you will walk, my friend, with scars for the rest of your life. And I know this. I begged my kids. I begged them to stay sexually pure until the day they got married because I don't want them to have to know what I know.
I don't want them to walk with the limp that I walk with. And it's not as a father that I wanted to keep them from fun. I wanted them to actually experience it. God has said sex is a playground, but to enjoy it, there has to be a commitment. And you say, oh, the paper doesn't matter.
No. The paper doesn't, but the commitment does, and the paper says you committed. It says legally, I committed. That's what it says. And when you go to a court of law, they will hold you accountable for what you signed.
It matters. It matters. And some of you have fooled yourselves and you say, well, we can enjoy each other without the commitment. Listen to me. If you're having sex and you're not married, you are not experiencing intimacy.
You are auditioning. And listen to me. Until you're married, you didn't get the part. You didn't get the part. I I don't wanna hear about it because if he's all in, he's all in.
And if he's not, he's not. He's not. Don't divert yourself from the path that God has you on. Number 3, sexual sin can disconnect me eternally from God. Nobody likes to talk about this, but God has said I am holy, I am set apart, I am unique, I am different.
And one of the things that made God so different from the other pagan gods of the ancient world is He wasn't sexual. He wasn't sexual. God was sexless. He created sex for you to enjoy, for you to be blessed, for you to find comfort, for you to find intimacy, for you to find union, but that's not who he is. And he's called you to be like him.
Ephesians 5:5. For you may be sure of this, you can count on it, you can bet on this, you can take this to the bank, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure or who is covetousness, that is desiring what you should not desire, that is an idolater. Do you see how he's marrying these sexual concepts together? I have to have this. I want here's what I think Paul is getting at.
There's no word for sexual addiction 2000 years ago. That's what I think he's identifying. You are willing to sacrifice everything that is yours for your desire to sustain sexual happiness and pleasure. And when you do that, you have followed a God that is not God, and you are worshiping at an altar that is not Jesus. He says this person has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
That's not me, friends. That's not me. That's the holy scriptures. My job is to preach it. Your job is to choose to believe it or not.
And let me just say this. It does not matter what the world does. It does not matter what the world believes. It does not matter who wins an election or who loses an election. What matters is what you believe.
What matters is how you live because on judgment day, nobody else is gonna be there but you and Jesus. So how do I live out a different sexuality as a Christian? How do I do this? Ephesians 5:3 says this, but sexual immorality and impurity or covenants, listen, must not even be named among you. This verse breaks my heart, breaks my heart.
I've grown up my whole life as Southern Baptists. They have proclaimed this. They have not lived it. Southern Baptists have covered this sin, excused this sin and I think God's judgment is upon us because of it. Let me tell you something.
I want you to know, I don't just preach this to you, I'm trying to live this out. I'm trying to live this out because I believe it's true. I'm not trying to guilt you. I'm trying to set you free. And we need to think about this.
We need to remind us There shouldn't even be a hint of sexual immorality amongst us, but how many more pastors do we have to hear about falling? How many more? Some of these are my friends. My wife and I were watching a a a show on TV about about the the fall of the fall wells at Liberty University and you guys need to know, some of you watched on TV, I was staring at some of my friends and it broke my heart. It broke my heart because it broke my heart.
Because in the name of political power, we forgot our sexual ethic and calling. It doesn't matter who wins the White House, it matters if you know Jesus. So how do I live out a different sexuality as a Christian? Number 1, this is huge. And I am just as guilty as this as as anybody.
Be careful about what you allow to entertain you. K? Ephesians 5:4, obscene stories, foolish talk, coarse jokes, these are not for you. One of the ways that we change is what we laugh at. I'm just as guilty as this.
And my wife probably somewhere is like, amen. But one of the ways that immorality makes its way in our life is through what what we call entertainment. And let me tell you something. Media is smart far smart farter Far smarter far smarter than the church than the church. What's dangerous is not nudity.
What's dangerous is not language. What's dangerous is not witchcraft. What's dangerous is the message behind the nudity. It's the message behind the profanity. It's the message behind the witchcraft.
Because I can tell you the scripture has profanity, has nudity, has witchcraft, has adultery, has murder. It has it all. What's the message? So what have Christians done? Right?
We're gonna go put a little put a little piece of tape on Adam's penis, you know, in the in the Vatican. You know, I've done my duty. We can all look at this precious piece of artwork now. We just can't look at his big hands. Don't look at the little penis.
Does that bother you? Yeah. Listen to me. What's the message? What's the message?
You know, if the statue of David, if that stimulates you, I I encourage counseling. I don't think the issue is the statue. I think you have a problem and we need to deal with that because we're not to shame the human body. God created this. We're to glorify God with our bodies.
So watch what entertains you. Art is art. What's the message behind the art? What's it saying? What's it communicating?
And some of you parents, you're trying to shield your kids from everything. That won't work because everything isn't the problem. Sin inside the heart of your child is the problem, and they will find it. They'll find it. Okay?
My friend, he we were out to dinner with him, and and I said, who's watching your son? He's 15. I said, he's home alone. He says, no. No.
No. He says, you know what that dude Googled in 5 minutes? I said, I know. I know. And so will your child.
Because they're sinners. Cute little sinners. You know? They're not googling how to pray. Next, pray about what you participate in.
Pray about it. Don't be fooled by those who excuse these sins. We're still in Ephesians. Don't be fooled, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey Him. Don't participate in the things these people do.
So if you're a Christian, let me just say this. If you feel bad about something, I would say stop. I I I don't know why that's wisdom. I feel like that's common sense, but I'm discovering common sense is not common, amen, when you start calling it uncommon sense, unusual sense, magical sense. Look, if you don't feel good about it, don't do it.
That's probably the holy spirit saying no. No. It's not for you. It's not for you. I've been married to Tammy for 26 years.
There's some things that are okay for her that are not okay for me. There are some things that are okay for me that are not okay for her. So we have to work that out as a couple. And you need to figure out what triggers you, what messes with you, what stimulates you, what causes you to sin. That's what you need to figure out.
What we don't say as a church is no rated r movies because otherwise we can't watch Passion of the Christ. Like, I'd love to watch it, Mel, but, you know, all, all rated r movies are wrong. Well, unfortunately, the crucifixion was explicit. I don't know if anybody missed that, but it's explicit. And Mel Gibson, as explicit as it was, he didn't make Jesus naked.
You notice that? Christ was crucified naked on a cross. It's the one thing he left out. You think the Romans were like, we gotta cover this. No.
They wanted to humiliate you. That was the point of crucifixion. So how do I live out a different sexuality as a Christian? I wanna talk to our teenagers first. I love you.
I care for you. The world that you're growing up in is not the world that I grew up in. Every generation seems to face new and unique challenges. I'm not your parent. They they ultimately have the say.
Don't be like, well, pastor Mac said. They're your parent. You gotta listen to them. Here's what I would say. If you cannot manage friendships, you're not ready for a relationship.
K? Like, if you're not ready for your driver's license, I I don't think, you know, like, boyfriend, girl you're not ready for that. If you can't focus in a car, you probably can't focus in a relationship. And let me just say this. A lot of your wounds, teenagers, will come from the emotional ties and strings that you attach to people who dump you, hurt you, maim you, stab your heart.
And you know why that is? It's not because they're evil. It's because they weren't ready. They weren't ready either. You have the emotions and the longings of an adult.
You have the maturity of a teenager, and it's a tough place to be. It's a tough place to be. So I would just say I would delay dating as long as you possibly can because your heart's gonna write checks that you don't have the account to cash. Just pure and simple. And you can ask your parents what that mean.
You're like, what's a checkbook? Okay. Married couples. Whenever I talk about sex, it automatically turns into a frequency issue. I wanna challenge you to talk as a couple about physical comfort, emotional intimacy, and spiritual union.
If there's a sexual challenge, there are other challenges that need to be addressed, and you need to talk about that. You need to be open and honest about that. And let me say this, singles. Marriage does not solve all of your sexual issues. So many people get married.
Once I get married, it's all gonna be good. No. No. No. You just multiplied your problem because you added another person to the scenario.
You got your issues. She got her issues, and those issues are bliss shoes together. Right? It's just like boo. Parents.
Parents, I love you. You gotta talk to your kids about sex. You gotta. You gotta talk to them. I know it's uncomfortable, but let me tell you something.
If you don't talk to your kids about sex, their school is gonna talk to them about sex. And it's not the message of God. It's not the message of God. I remember when I said penis a couple of minutes ago, you guys are like you lost it. I didn't invent the penis.
I didn't. I didn't create it. It wasn't my idea. It was God's. You gotta learn to talk about it.
I got a good friend of mine. He's a young pastor. He's got a 3 year old son. He walks around to pea just walks up to people. He goes, my penis.
My penis. My penis. You know what happened? He discovered he has 1, and he wants to share that with everyone. Okay.
And that's not the result of the education system, liberalism. He's a little 3 year old with a penis. And listen to me, parents, your job is to teach him how to handle that thing. Because if you don't, he will, and it's a mess. We got 30 year old guys in our church.
My penis. My penis. Hey. And some of you gals, you're dating a little boy with a penis because he's never been raised, he's never been taught, he's never been challenged to be a husband, to be a man, to be a provider, to hang in there. And that thing is powerful, and he will either do great evil with it or good.
But don't bring shame to it. Put your hoo away. It's a penis. I mean, some of you are like, I'm never coming to Sandals again. Teach your children how God wants them to express their sexuality in his love.
The world gets to tell them every day their definition of love. You have a few precious years to teach them God's definition of love. So parents, show them what a loving, affectionate Christian home looks like. Do you know that Hugh Hefner's parents, the guy who invented Playboy, were Christians? He said he never saw him kiss, hug, love, or touch.
How sad is that? That's why I tell my wife, I'm always grabbing her, say I'm just showing the kids what love looks like. She she doesn't always like it. But dads, dads hug your kids, say I love you, and when you blow it, apologize. Man, single adults, are you ready?
I love you. Look, Jesus may not want you to be married like me, but he does want you to be sexually pure like him. If you're having sex with somebody right now and you're not married, stop. I went out to dinner with a single guy in our church, he was a little nervous, which he should have been, And, we were having noodles and it was great. And I just said, so when are you gonna stop having sex with your girlfriend?
And he we haven't talked since, but but I I think it went good. Look, here's what I said. Look, if you love her, marry her. What are you doing? You know what you believe.
Get married. It's it's it's not that difficult. Stop having sex. Listen, I ruined a wonderful meal, but you having sex is ruining a wonderful relationship. It's not bringing it together, it's destroying it.
Okay. And now I'm just gonna roll the grenade out, jump on it. If you're LGBTQ plus, I wanna challenge you, you, I want you to change that plus and do a cross. Because the most important thing about you is not your sexuality, it's your Savior and He died for you and He loves you and He's calling you to a different life. Now here's the truth, some of us are not Christians and you're not ready for this.
I hope that you don't run away from what I've said because you've been offended, but you just just keep coming back. But some of you, you know this, you know this, why aren't you living this? Why? Today's the day to repent, today's the day to change, today's the day to say, God, you know what? You sacrificed your life for me, I'm gonna sacrifice some of my sexual desires for you.
I can do this. I can do this for you. Because let me tell you this, the world will never change until we do, until we do. Until they see a sexuality that's worth following. You know when the world's gonna want to become like us?
When we become something that people would want to become. That's what Paul is calling us to. Your real life is hidden with Christ in God and you're to put on your new clothes. Listen to me to become like Him. God loves you and so do I.
I know this is a tough message. Let me pray for you right now. Would you bow your heads and close your eyes? Heavenly Father, in the mighty powerful name of Jesus, let me just confess our sin as a church. So many of us, Lord, call ourselves Christians, but we live sexually like pagans.
Lord, so many of us who say we're believers are practical atheists. We believe like you don't matter, you're not real, we act like that every single day. Father, we confess that to you. God, let there be no judgment on anyone in this place, anyone listening that's not a Christian. God, let us judge ourselves and let's change the way we see our sexuality.
We're not gay, we're not straight, we're not married, we're not single. Lord, we're all 1 in the body of Christ and you have saved us And you have sacrificed your life for us so we could live a real life, so we could live a better life, so we could live a holy life. Help us to live this life. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.
Hi. Welcome to Sandals Church. My name is Matt Brown, and I have the privilege of being the pastor of Sandals Church. Sandals Church was started over 25 years ago to help you become real in your relationship with yourself, God, and others. Man, I hope this content does exactly that.
Have a great day, and enjoy, and God bless.