Deuteronomy 6:4-9.
Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,
and with all your soul, and with all your might.
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
You shall teach him diligently to your children,
and you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way,
when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them
as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
You shall write them on a doorpost of your house, and on your gates.
We are beginning a new sermon series
this week to carry us through the month of August.
We're calling it Good News for Every Family.
We're taking four weeks to look at what the Bible says about family.
Because the truth is, we're all part of a family in some way.
And whether your family is big or small,
whether it includes marriage or children or not,
whether it's broken or in great shape, the Bible has a lot to say about
how we live life as family,
so we want to dive into that over the next four weeks.
This week, we're looking at one particular aspect of family,
and it's appropriate following Kids Care, that we're looking at
what the Bible has to say about parenting.
Now, I do want to say that I recognize not everyone here this weekend is a parent.
Some of you have raised children.
They've moved out of the house.
Others are still hoping for children.
Others maybe don't have plans to have children.
I promise towards the end of this message, there will be something for everyone,
regardless of whether you brought a child with you this morning or not.
But parenting is such an important part
of the fabric of society
and of the fabric of a church, of a culture.
The Bible actually has a lot to say about it,
and it feels appropriate to spend a week on it.
I'll just say this if you're new to the whole church thing,
maybe you've come on the heels of kids camp.
I just want you to know how eminently practical the Bible is,
because God's desire is for us to live a life
of meaning and purpose, that God wants that for you.
He wants that for your family, wants that for your children.
And really, what we do each week is gather around the Bible to learn
what God has said about how life works best.
If you have a Bible, you can open it to Deuteronomy six or use
your phone to get there.
You don't have to have one.
It was just read to us and I'll reference that as we go.
But there are three points I want to use to think about the passage
that was just read from Deuteronomy six.
Very simple. Three points.
They go like this I want to talk about reverse engineering
responsibility and resources, reverse
engineering responsibility and resources.
Let's start first with reverse engineering.
Of course, reverse engineering is the concept
of knowing where you want to get
and working backwards through the steps it will take to get there.
For instance, if you set a goal that you want to lose weight,
you would pick a target weight and then you would work backwards
from what it would take the calorie deficit
that would be necessary, the exercise that you'd have to do.
Same thing financially if you say, hey, ten years from now,
we need to be ready to pay for the kids college or we want to retire.
You would begin with the amount you need, work backwards
and know what you would need to say yes to or no to in your budget
in order to make that outcome a reality.
I don't know if there is anywhere that we understand this better
then with our children.
Most people who are
raising children have a vision of who they want their children
to be, of the life that they want them to have.
And much of our parenting, at least in our most intentional
and strategic moments, is built around that vision,
achieving that outcome.
So if we want our children, for example,
to learn the lessons that come from sports
or to get a Division one scholarship
so that we can learn how great it is not to pay for college,
then we reverse engineer back
and we get them in as many sports as we can.
Private instruction, travel teams.
Same if you want your children to learn the value of music
or to be a good student.
Many of the conversations we have with our kids, the rules
we put in place, are not about the short term.
They're about the long term vision of life we have for our kids.
I don't know if you've ever thought about this,
but the Bible tells us that God also has a vision for your kids.
He has a purpose for them.
He has a particular life in mind for your children.
You can read about it in Deuteronomy six when God says this in verse four, he says,
here, O Israel,
the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,
and with all your soul, and with all your might.
God's vision for our children
is that they would know him,
that they would love him.
That's what he wants to be
in relationship with our children.
Let me reinforce this.
You know, over here is this awesome outdoor playground
that we built a couple of years ago, and we have more coming to this space.
You're going to love it.
And by the way, whether this is your church or not, that's your playground.
Okay? Come any time. Enjoy.
When I bring my daughter Ella to play on it, she's six.
One of the things I've noticed is that she will run around
and play with the same kid for an hour, have a great time.
Then when we go to get in the car, I'll say, who was that
you were playing with?
And she'll say, I don't know.
I said, you, you didn't learn their name?
Nope, nope.
And so then we have a talk because I have to teach her that.
Ella, we ask names because that kid is not just they don't just exist.
Round out your tag game or to make sure you're not bored on the playground.
We want that kid to know that they matter to us.
We want them to know that we care about them.
And the way we do that is by learning their name.
By sharing our name.
When I tell you that God wants a relationship with your children,
it's a learn your name kind of relationship.
Do you see in these verses
that God has shared with them who he is,
what he's doing?
What do you want
if you're not familiar with the Bible?
In fact, the Bible is in many ways God on the playground
sharing his name.
God doesn't want us to guess who he is.
He doesn't want us to wonder how he feels to wonder what he's up to.
He is a communicative God.
He's not just looking for people to round out his game of tag.
He's sharing his name.
He wants to know the names of your children, your name.
God wants relationship with your kids.
My guess is you want that for your kids.
That's a lot of people's
starting point, by the way, for coming to church in the first place.
They get out of the habit or maybe were never in the habit.
They have a few kids and they start to say,
my kids should really be in church.
My kids should really know who God is.
Well, I want you to know that not only is that true, that's what God wants,
but that means reverse engineering.
It means that just like we map out
a future for our kids academically
or athletically or musically,
we also must work backwards spiritually
if God wants our kids to know him.
If God wants our kids to know he loves them, if God wants to share
his name, his mission, his purpose,
then how do we get there with our children?
That actually leads me
to my second point, which is not just reverse
engineering a relationship with God for our kids,
but also asking the question, who's responsibility is that?
It's not just a question of how.
How do we get our kids to have a relationship with God?
It's a question of who
whose job is that?
Look, in our culture, we outsource a lot as it relates to parenting.
I mean, we have to I mean, about the time my kids hit third grade when they asked
for math help and their homework, I send them to their mother
or anymore to ChatGPT
because I don't know how to do it right.
And as they pursue hobbies that I don't have interest
in or skills, and it can be tough to help them.
They're inclined to ask me, but I don't want them to realize how dumb I really am.
So I look for someone to do it for me,
and that works for some things, but it doesn't work for everything.
This passage clearly teaches that not only does
God want to have relationship with your children,
he wants you parents
to take the lead in getting them there.
Look.
Listen to what it says here as he tells them who he is.
He says this and these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
You shall
teach them diligently to your children
shall talk of them when you sit in your house,
when you walk, by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise,
you shall bind them as a sign on your hand,
and they shall be as front lights on your eyes.
You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
God isn't telling the pastor
or the priest,
or the YouTuber,
or the author, or the podcaster
that their job is to lead
their children to the God who loves them.
He says, it's our job.
Now. Why is that?
Let me give you two analogies that I'll drive at home.
I want to talk about tying a tie and cooking chicken in a crockpot
first tying a tie.
I was a sophomore or junior in college before I realized
I did not know how to tie a tie, and that was a problem
no one had ever taught me, and I guess I never needed one.
I don't know if I got through high school without having to go to funerals
or weddings, or if maybe the dress code just didn't apply to me, I don't know,
but I remember I was getting ready for a dance with my girlfriend, who's
now my wife, and I had to have her dad teach me because I didn't know.
I didn't know how to tie a tie.
You know, the truth is, over the course of my life,
I had a lot of adults who poured into me a great teachers,
great coaches, mentors.
I had people who were shift managers at places that I've worked.
There were a lot of people who would help me grow up.
A lot of people who had helped me develop, but none of them had ever thought
to teach me how to tie a tie, because it wasn't their responsibility.
They were specialists.
My football coach talked to me about football.
My math teacher talked to me about math.
My shift manager talked to me about work ethic.
The truth is, I needed
my parents to teach me how to tie a tie.
Now, this is not a comment on my parents parenting.
They might say they did try to teach me and I'm just dumb.
I already said that.
My point is, parents,
for most of us, we've built lives for our children where there are
a number of people who can teach them how to block and tackle,
or how to read sheet music,
or how to get good grades in algebra, maybe even how to work hard.
But none of those people wake up in the morning
saying, your kids need to know that God loves them.
Who will do that?
If not for us?
Who will do that if not for you?
But the
second analogy I want you to think about is cooking chicken in a crock pot.
It's always dangerous when I use cooking metaphors because I don't cook.
But here's how I understand a crock pot and my wife is over in this area,
so I'm going to try not to make eye contact in case I'm wrong.
My understanding is when you put chicken
in a crock pot, you just kind of set it on and you let it cook.
You put in some water or some marinade or whatever,
and it soaks in that and it cooks slowly over time.
And the thing about cooking chicken in a crock pot is it gets tender,
it gets soft, and it really absorbs the flavor that you put in with it.
Of course, the downside to that is if you don't like the flavor,
there's not much you can do about it afterwards.
It's soaked too long.
I want you to understand something.
Some of us have built lives for our kids, whether they're
in Christian schools or they're in churches.
And you think, well, there's lots of people who will teach them about God.
There's a lot of people who will add spiritual seasoning to their lives.
But what this passage describes is a simple truth
that everyone who works with kids knows
the environment of home.
The crock pot a kid marinates in
who you show them God to be,
who you show them, or what you show them.
Values to be, priorities to be will
ultimately be the flavor they leave your home with.
Other people might try to add seasoning,
but I can tell you, after 20 years of ministry
where 7 or 8 years of coaching youth football or in any environment I'm
in where I'm working with children or teenagers,
a few minutes a week, a couple hours
a week will not overcome
the marinating they do in your home.
Your children are meant to know God.
They are meant to enjoy relationship with them
and no one will be as effective
at teaching them that of pushing them
to that of leading them in that direction.
As you.
Or no one
short of
a miraculous activity or event
will be able to overcome
the lack of that as they've crock prodded in it.
Now, I just want to say that
as I prepared to say that to you this week, I.
I was worried that some of you might feel a little shamed by that,
because if you're sitting here with a 13 year old and you're thinking,
well, I haven't taught them to tie a tie, I haven't crock
potted them in an environment where they would learn about God.
We're not talking about God in our home.
We're not forming our kids spiritually.
So what does that mean? Have I blown it?
I want you to
know that few things in life get anyone's attention,
like a sudden change.
I have friends who are in great shape.
They've never not been in great shape.
I never ask them for diet or fitness tips
because they are discipline freaks.
We're not similar.
There's nothing they can say that will help me.
But when a friend around me goes
from not caring about that to caring about that, I start to ask.
I start to wonder
what happened, what changed?
What are you doing that's different?
If you feel as though reading Deuteronomy six is convicting, let me invite you
to consider that God is calling you today
to a sudden change of priorities, and that perhaps
that sudden change will capture the heart of your child.
But I also want to tell
you this it is God's vision for your kids to know him.
It is your responsibility according to him.
But you're not alone.
That's actually my third point.
There are resources for you.
In fact, I want to hold out five resources
that we offer here at the church to you
because our desire is to come alongside you as parents
and empower you to do the work that God has called you to do.
So here are five ways that we can help, and I want you to focus
less on the individual thing and more on the wave of this.
There are a lot of ways we want to help.
Help is available. Here's the first.
You must first experience God's love for yourself.
You know, this passage is God speaking to Israel
after they've experienced some pretty incredible things,
and he's telling a generation that he's rescued from Egypt.
He's telling them, your kids didn't live these stories.
So you have to pass them down.
Don't lose the miracles of what I've done.
You see, God is telling us the same principle.
They tell us on an airplane, before you put the oxygen
mask on your child, you must first put it on yourself.
God wants to know your name.
He wants you to know he loves you.
In fact, he wants that so badly.
He sent his own son, Jesus,
to live righteously in your place, to die
sacrificially on the cross for your sin and for mine
to do away with God's judgment, God's anger
that was righteously on us to die, and three days later
to rise from the dead in order that you and I might be forgiven
you and I might begin a relationship with God.
Don't start with your kids.
Start with yourself.
God doesn't want to run around on the playground for an hour
with you.
He wants relationship experience that.
That's what we preach about.
Sing about, read about every week here at Christ Community Chapel.
Come.
Not not for your kids, not first.
Come for yourself.
The second way we can help is not just in helping
you experience, but in educating you.
Much of our teaching, our our Bible studies,
our podcast, every thing we do here at the church is to help you
not only meet Jesus, but to grow in your understanding of him.
I know some people are out there going, I'd love to teach my kids about God,
but Zach, that's like you teaching your kids math.
I don't know enough, but you can.
But you can. Listen. We know life is busy.
That's why we have a Thursday night service.
We know we don't want you to stop going
to the lake on the weekend or take your kids out of sports.
You can both end it.
You don't need to either. Or it.
We know you're busy.
Too busy to come here multiple times in a week, which is why
we have podcasts and videos and things designed to help
you take laundry time and turn it into spiritual growth.
Time. We want you to meet Jesus.
We want you to grow in Jesus experience and educate.
Here's a third one example.
There are
moms and dads in this crowd who have raised children
and taught them who God is, and to love him well.
Learn from them.
One of the best things that happens at a church is you're around
people that are a generation ahead, two generations ahead.
Ask them questions. Learn from them.
I can tell you that in our family, we've learned so much.
Here's an example.
We do our Bible study after dinner every night, right before dessert.
And you say you do dessert every night.
Listen, all questions about our dietary, plan.
Go to my wife, Amy.
I'll give you her email after the service.
But the reason we do that
is because while the kids are eating, they're in a mood to listen.
And we go through with our five children's stories of what God has done.
And then we ask a question,
and you have to get a question right before you get dessert.
You've never seen greater motivation.
And that's just Amy.
Does it work?
Well every night?
No, but an older brother in Christ told me this.
Zach, trust the aggregate.
Not the moment.
Examples.
Here's the fourth one.
Excitement.
One of the greatest ways to form children and their love for God
is to bring them into spiritual environments that are fun.
Did your kids have fun at kids camp?
I can't hear if you're clapping.
I hope you are.
And the reason why we want them
to have fun is because you can't convince kids God loves them.
If he's boring, you can't convince kids that God loves them.
If he doesn't understand their childlike wonder, their childlike enthusiasm.
Listen, we turf fields and put in walking tracks and playgrounds and
and environments in the building because we understand a God who loves kids.
Once them to enjoy the time they spend around his people.
And then here's the fifth one.
We want to empower you to join God's mission.
This in God's doing amazing things at this church.
He's reaching people, putting families back together.
We want to invite you and your children not just to receive, but, to give.
I was actually out of town for most of this week dealing with a family emergency,
but when I came back Thursday afternoon, my family was exhausted.
That's because my wife and my 17 year old and my 15 year old
and my 13 year old were serving at kids camp.
Not because we make them,
but because they're learning how exciting it is to join with God
in what he's doing to convince children he loves them
to join with God in his mission to restore families.
Listen, here's what I'm telling you God has a vision for your children.
God has a vision for your family.
He wants you to lead.
He wants you to bring your children into his story.
And we know that's scary to you,
hard for you, challenging and daunting.
And we want to help
and all the things that
we do and all the things that we have going on.
Our desire is to point you to Jesus, to help you grow in him,
and to help your family discover their incredible
and unique role in what he's doing.
I hope you'll come check it out.
Let me pray for us.
Father God, thank you so much for the incredible task of parenting.
The truth is, none of us are really up to the task.
Every day presents new challenges, many of them bigger than us.
Thank you then for the church,
for men and women who come alongside us, who serve in ministries,
who pour in to families, whether it's in the parking lot or kids
camp, or ushering or passing out bottles of water, all part of the design
to say, maybe it isn't my kids, maybe they're not my grandkids.
But God cares about children.
And so, so do we.
God cares about families and so do we.
God, thank you for giving this church the privilege of partnering with you
and your mission to help parents lead their children to faith in you.
In Jesus name we pray. Amen.