Welcome to the Love, Sex, and Leadership podcast where you can discover simple tantric teachings to embody your true power, awaken your soul's wisdom, and live an inspired life as a natural, intuitive, and heart-centered leader. Just as a show of hands, how many of you have studied a bit into the nervous system, have some level of understanding of trauma and. So there's pretty thorough diagrams there. I'll just share, um. And kind of from my perspective. The important pieces around this. And uh You know this journey of life that we moved through. People are essentially receiving all of the both initiations and experiences that are perfect for their growth and evolution. And a lot of times when someone has had more traumatic events at a young point in their life, that's a challenging pill to swallow when you can think about, well, is that really the best medicine when my father abused me or my mother beat me or, you know, I was abused or raped and molested and all these things. And you know, there's a lot of angels looked at in that and and yet what I've seen over and over again is that. Those situations are really only happening for those individuals who Have the capacity in one way, shape or form to move through it and I'll put that into a framing of how that relates to present day and meaning that when we're a young child and we have these more traumatic events. One of the best definitions, maybe even the Lords that had shared it with me, but I really um. Relates a lot to this work. This trauma is being alone with too much. We're alone with too much when there's too much at a young age that we're able to process through our nervous system. Then a lot of the intense experiences that we. Uh, go through and endure the way that we find survival is by actually moving the memory of that situation to the back of our brain to another whole part of our brain, so it's not in our present day reality. So what happens often is people then have situations that happened at a young age and then in their adult life. They're often having very similar challenging experiences over and over and over again and they don't always know what the core of that is. Anyone ever had things like that in their lives and then when you dissected it and kind of turned it from the unconscious to the conscious, you created a new trajectory of of experience, yeah, we can relate to something like that. So, I find a lot of people who are drawn to the field of tantra, whether or not they're conscious of it or not, are drawn to a modality that's going to hold the entirety of their being. A lot of other more traditional um spiritual backgrounds and journeys are often just an ascension journey, you know, and what I was speaking about before with even Like the origins of tantra is often now transitioned to more a look at Buddha, but Buddha is very much more of the meditative journey, not necessarily the journey down deep into the body. There's a place of let me just meditate. And all my problems and issues are going to go away. It doesn't really, you know. Worked so well in the long run. A big part of my own journey was through meditation. I spent time in Nepal, in the Himalayas just meditating and trying to find my center and my soul, but recognizing as much as I meditated, there were still childhood issues that weren't fucking dealt with. So there was an evolution in my own being into meeting this field of function when I met that field, I started to. Understand that the real for me the real journey of embodiment and awakening and enlightenment was actually taking what I had come to understand assimilate experience in my mind and take that down into the body. And that's really the gift of what you're doing as a practitioner and what we're inviting with this work is to. Take what we're what you're moving through from. The place of comprehension into the body, but when we go into the body, we're then having to meet all of the some stars and all the traumas and all the things that haven't been dealt with and for a lot of people it's easier to just ascend out of the body. I was teaching yoga for many years and I love the practice of yoga. I love uh the community that surrounds it, but what I found was there was often a lot of a. Bypassing of dealing with the deeper emotional traumas that are there and more of let me just find God by ascending up into the clouds, which is a beautiful journey. There's nothing wrong with that. And yet Contras inviting. Humans and beings to drop that actually down finding divinity in the body, but to find divinity in the body means that I can't hide from or push away from all of the stuff I haven't dealt with. So those moments when someone was 3 or 5 or 7 or 9 or and you know, mom or dad said something or did something he didn't have a chance to. Ah, you know, beat a pillow to to scream, to release energy. And literally that energy is stuck inside the body, and so we're drawn. To This work To essentially heal and clear the pieces that we haven't dealt with in the past, and one of the really important pieces of that is. This slow somatic processing and to do slow somatic processing there has to be an understanding of actually what the fuck is going on in the nervous system. When you're working with someone and another and they just. Are there, but the lights are on, but nobody's home who's seen that in someone's eyes before and you can recognize that. So then instead of putting your fingers inside of them, which unfortunately a lot of practitioners are doing, you want to slow things down so they can actually start to feel more deeply in their body. That's really the approach that we're we're taking with this work and this training is there is no. Destination or goal in mind when a client reaches out to you wanting sessions, they might want a linga massage or yoni massage something like that. Great, that can be a destination that is possible, but if they don't know how to breathe, sound, and feel, as much of a tantric master you are that takes them to the moon and back in a session. It's not gonna be something they can integrate because all it's gonna give them is a peak high experience the same as taking ayahuasca or San Pedro or you know, cocaine or whatever else you want to call it. So really what we're after in this is being able to integrate these experiences into our lives so that we're living and breathing tantra for you as a practitioner as well as for the clients that you're inviting in and working with in sessions. And doing that, the absolute requirement is understanding what the nervous system is indicating and what's happening. So you have some graphs here that are just different frameworks that are Outlining the the natural progression of the nervous system and and what happens. So when there is a a natural impulse in our nervous system of fighting, of fighting, if that wasn't exercise at a young age, then we're expanding, we're rising up in the nervous system actually back into a parasympathetic state. But it's a parasympathetic state that's not rest and digest it's frozen, it's frozen in time, which is often what people's reality is about the traumas that they went through. So teaching and supporting a client to be able to. Oh shape, to be able to move, to be able to stay present with you in the session space is an absolute requirement to do this work safely. If you're just taking them to the peak, but not teaching them how to hike and how to get there, then it's actually at the end causing more challenge and issue. potentially the issue that they came with initially it's really important that there's a slow somatic process of supporting them breath by breath situation by situation, which means that you might have someone who comes to you who is dying for and they're wanting that linger massage they're wanting that thing. That that peak experience that they read about in some book or their friend told them about, but in the 1st 5 to 7 sessions, all you might be doing with them is helping them feel the pain that they haven't felt towards their mom or their dad. That's tantra. And that's actually safer and healthier tantra than taking them immediately to that internal experience because I've seen over and over again, both of us have that if you take someone to that place without learning them learning how to assimilate in their nervous system, that they reach that peak experience, but then they fall off the mountain and they don't know how they got there. Who's ever had an experience with ayahuasca or powerful peak mushroom or planned experiences and you're like, I am one with the universe and I do it all and Monday morning comes and you're like, where was I? I'm not. Oh no, I can do it next Friday because there's another showman coming to town. Don't worry, I'm gonna get it right this time. Yeah, I'm into the moon. Everything is love. Monday morning comes what was was it. Anyone seen anything like that in this world? Yeah, and I know I've had experiences like that myself, so that's really. The nature of deep transformational somatic change in someone's body, they can have some of those peak experiences, but it's about actually expanding the rubber band of what their nervous system is able to hold, because at that young age when that deep trauma did happen to them, hard trauma, soft trauma, whatever it may be. Literally their nervous system could not hold everything that they are going through, so that the only way they could survive. Was ascending into a freeze response. Into a state because that was their way of actually staying frozen so they didn't have to feel the intensity of the pain and the challenge that they were going through and it's only on usually later on in life where these memories have a way of coming back into someone's awareness. To the point and they're like, oh wow, there was a lot of things in my childhood that I never fully dealt with. And as a result, now all they're having all these flashes of memories coming back. I was just working with a client. About a week or two from a referral and he had worked with, you know, in the last 10 years a lot of therapists and a lot of people who have sought again to point anything wrong with therapy, but a lot of times therapy has a time and a space but a lot of times if if this is if this is the trauma at the center, a lot of what therapy is doing is just circulating around it. Because there's so much fear of actually going in and meeting it and it's not a bad fear it's actually kind of you could say righteous in its own way but supporting someone to be able to slowly assimilate but generally if someone's coming into your inbox and you feel like you have the tools and resources to support them and if you don't, don't be a superhero. Like we have, we have a, a group thread after this training that you can reach out to you there's other people in your network. If you feel like the trauma of what someone's bringing is too much for you to handle, say, hey, I don't know if I can help you with this, but I can get someone that can. You can refer to either Lourdes and I. There's lots of ways that you can support that client without trying to go beyond your league. For myself, When I was in my early twenties, I wasn't choosing to, but I ended up working with a lot of both women and men who had been raped and abused and molested. Well, before I'd ever had like a trauma informed training under my belt, but that was just what life threw into my, you know, into my inbox into the world I was in, so I learned a lot just through experience of having conversations and doing sessions with people and learning through all of that. At the point now there's not a lot that I don't really feel comfortable with when someone's coming in. So in relation to what this client is bringing in. I could feel that he had done a lot of the work necessary to kind of bring him ready for this session, where I was guiding him back into some of those moments, but doing so in a way where he could feel, doing so in a way in which he could shake, in which he could move, in which he could express. The stuck dormant energy that was in his body, so we were beginning to lean in to the deep trauma that he was aware of, that was hidden from his memory for about 25 years of his life. And it wasn't until a point came when that all those memories came flushing in and he came overwhelmed and there was anxiety and there was fear. Oh my God, what's wrong with me? All of these stories start coming in. So I I don't share all of this to freak you out, but I share this from a way of. To do this work in a healthy way to do this work in a safe way, really understanding more effectively what's happening in the nervous system and when if you are observing a client beginning to freeze, you invite them to take a deep breath in. Let it out with a sound, let out a sound right now, ah. Now what happens when you let out that sound? That sound is stimulating your vagus nerve. Your vagus nerve is running up the central channel of your body. You have these um. Noddies, these knoddies are these cords of energy running through your system. You have a central channel, you have the left side, which is Ida, you have the right side which is Pingala, which is demonstrated when you see the back side of an ambulance. The backside of an ambulance, you have the caucus. These are the serpent-like energies running up down the spine. You've ever read a book like the Magdalen manuscript, you'll actually see from thousands of years ago this direct teachings from and about this, about activating and awakening this conundalini like energy inside the body. So these are the serpents of energy that's happening and moving through the system. So what you're essentially helping someone to do is have a healthy relationship with life force energy. When we see a dog get frightened. Dog owners here. What does the dog do a few moments, a few minutes after he he or she was frightened? Oh what? And then it's like, OK, let's play fret. I'm ready, and then the dog's ready, but what do we do as humans when we get scared. Mm Wow. Uh And so we're just condensing all this energy deep into our system and then in general in society when we see people freaking out or expressing emotions, what do we generally ask? Oh my God, what's wrong with you? Let me fix you so that I, the one observing you can feel better about myself and not feel uncomfortable because you're emoting and I don't know what that feels like inside of me. Ah, shake out the body a little bit right now. Shake it out, shake out the hand. Oh. So when a client freezes, you have them take the breath. You let out a sound ah, this is relaxing the nervous system. This is transitioning that moment where the nervous system was rising from now a sympathetic back into a parasympathetic so that more consistently they're staying in a rest and digest state. This is allowing them to actually hear and respond. To the invitations, to the suggestions, to the journeys into memories that you are inviting them into. Later on in this week we'll be teaching you a piece around timeline regression about how to work with someone in these timeline memories of their life so that they can feel and clear it so that when you get to the place of doing the deep internal work they actually are alive they're breathing, they're sounding, they're, ah, this is what it means to move life force to feel orgasmic. Because the same channels of energy connected to the nervous system, the exact same channels of energy. That bring you more alive and present to orgasmic energy, the life force, but if we're not feeling our emotions, then we're not feeling our orgasm and we're having a 2 or 3 2nd ejaculatory sneeze or tutorial pump that's like uh. Because our nervous system isn't assimilated to knowing how to feel aliveness and pain. If we're chasing pleasure, avoiding pain, that's not the idea of tantra. We need to feel the depth of our pain. A question that you might be inviting and you'll hear us saying throughout this week is what's the sensation and experience that's happening in your body? What's present now this invite someone who might be disassociating who might be. Thinking about someone else to, oh, what's present? What am I feeling? What's, what am I noticing in my body? Oh, there's some tension. OK, let me feel that tension. So I'm constantly inviting a client to come back into the present awareness that's happening in their body. And that's essentially what all of this work is doing we're bringing someone back home into the comfort of their body into the place where they feel at home and they can feel uh it's safe to be in my body because a lot of the trauma. That happened for for people. There's an unconscious belief inside that it's not safe to be in the body who has felt this before who's ever felt this feeling of like it's not safe to be here, and most people with quite strong trauma that they've gone through, being alone with too much. They were alone with too much. That situation was so difficult and so challenging that some part of them thought it's not safe to be in the body, so what do they do? They ascend out of the body. And dissociate exactly dissociate out of the body, they're frozen, they dissociate there. Gone, we want to bring them back home into the body and not a big strong powerful initiation, but slowly feeling and breathing every pulse along the way so that the result of let's say 2 to 3 or 4 to 5 months of sessions with you every couple of weeks, whatever it may be online or in person, they're actually now able to go outside and smell the flowers. They're able to go outside and feel the earth underneath their feet. They're able to go outside and have loving healthy relationships where they're not running anxiety and fear that their partner's gonna leave them the same way their dad left them when they were 3 or 4. The beautiful thing about these wild nervous systems and bodies and. Energetic systems that we live in is that we recreate the same moments over and over in our present. So that we need to feel the things that we haven't dealt with from the past. Our nervous systems are literally guiding us through that because there's some part of us in our bodies that know. When we can meet that situation, but meet it from the place of presence, awareness, and attunement, and we can finally heal the thing that we've been holding on to for a lifetime. Deep breath in Oh Now there's a lot of different pieces in that, but that's kind of an assimilation of essentially the nature of this work and what we're doing. If you look at the people that are drawn to King and you know I've been drawn to various levels of it. There's a I think it's even a book called Conscious King. There's great like ways that you can journey into that. Yeah, there's things that we're drawn to for a reason. And it's not to blame or shame that thing that we're drawn to, but conscious think or conscious BDSM, you know, I teach a work workshop sometimes called contra meets Shabari, and I take people into deep ties in Shabari, but then I do so and I help them rewire the memories that are coming up that's reminding them about the things in the past, so yes. You can utilize these different resources and tools, a lot of the techniques and tools that we're going to be sharing with you through this week. What's more important than anything is that when you're introducing those tools, whether it be pink or a sensate massage or a lot of other different modalities for teaching is. What is this reminding you of? A great question around trauma. I'd write that one down because that one you can always refer to as a practitioner. If you're working, you know, someone's working with pink, OK, they're tied up. There's pain there. What is this pain remind me of? Oh, it reminds me of when my father was beating me, OK. Uh, feel that through. What I found is that those people who are willing to Take and utilize whether it be king through BDSM or Shabari or any of these other things and actually utilize it as a healing modality. I find a lot of people aren't necessarily drawn to it as much anymore. Maybe they found like their soul's path with that work and it's beautiful. I think it's great, but I, I find a lot of times when you get to the core of where the trauma was and you dissolve it. We're a bioelectric magnetic vibrating machine. So if we're able to heal that moment in the past with an equal amount of energetic awareness to the degree in which it happened to us, literally that those are two covalent bonds meeting each other and dissolving back into the nothingness from which it came. So that's essentially trauma healing. So if we're Capitulating the same thing over and over and over again, there might be something else underneath that we haven't quite looked at or met yet, and I know for myself there's been, you know, kinks and desires and fantasies and things like that. I've done it and it's like it's still fun to do now, but there isn't like this insatiable drive to make it happen because it was part of my unconscious coming into my conscious to try to heal something that I hadn't met from before. And that's uh a way to say of assimilating this. Work into and being present with what we're doing here. And so on the, the, the sheet here, there's a couple of different, um, you know, responses that you wanna become present to, or you could say signs about how um people might be meeting these commas. So when something challenging happens, we have the fight response. The fight response is that one that just wants to to fight back. So if you have a pillow next to you right now. Just gonna invite you to go like this next to your go ah. Ah This is letting while you're here in the space at any time you're feeling like I wanna go punch Aaron in the face. He's fucking pissing me off right now. What a crazy bastard. What is he even talking about? Maybe it's me, but maybe potentially it's something that I'm saying or Lord is is saying that's reminding you of something in the past and the thing about our emotional body as it has pertains to healing trauma is that we don't always need to understand why. There's such a big drive in our culture in our mindset to try to figure out. I'm upset because at 3.5 years old, my dad left me and this left me traumatized the rest of my life. OK, great. Or maybe it was this, but all you actually have to bring presents to is what is happening? Are you frustrated? Is it irritation? OK, how does that irritation move through your body. Ah, or another one. Let's say you're here listening to us, or, you know, there's some part of you that's like, this is too much. These people are crazy. I need to go get in my car. What time is it? Is it lunch yet? I think I can get out of here. No one's gonna notice and you start. You know, devising plans about how to flight. Yeah, so take your feet out in front of you right now. And just cycle your feet back and forth. But uh. Wants to run away I wants to get away from the danger. You're running that white response. It's dangerous. I'm afraid, uh, but you're doing it with awareness. You're doing it by staying present in the moment because often as a young child we weren't able, you know, go be nice to to your auntie, go do this. No, I don't want to, but you need to, you have to. And so a lot of our natural flight response gets taken away by parental figures who were subordinating to their level of authority and it's not a bad or a good thing, it's just a reality that a lot of these natural intrinsic animal-like responses in our body have been numbed down. So then we get to a certain point of, you know, 1314, you know, early 20s, whatever it may be. And then a situation happens, but because we've had the last 5-10 years of our life of not activating and being present to and having a healthy role model that allows us to activate and to express our flight and fight responses when that. You know, intruder or that abuser comes in, we just go into freeze response so we never actually had a chance to say no, take your hands off me. So there because that's just been numb. So people who then have spent their entire lives numb who then find out. I think I need tantra. I don't know why, but I think I need it. Some part of me needs it because some part of them realizes that that they're numb and asleep at the wheel. And this is where you come in. This is where a healthy, strong practitioner comes in to support them, to just start to feel the pain of when their dad left them, the pain, the challenge, the frustration that's then been showing up in their present day reality that they never felt as a young boy, as a young girl. Some of this connecting some dots making sense. They say that um in relation to the brain and therapy is not very effective. It's because you've got your frontal lobes, which are also called your neocortex, that's your most recent biological or evolutionarily developed part of your brain. You've got your midbrain, that's your math, science, thinking, judging, perceiving, catalog, not perceiving, cataloging, categorizing part of your brain. And then you've got your midbrain, which is your, your limbic brain, and that's where your emotions are stored and your and that's the part of your brain that appreciates art and also movement and tantra and sexuality and dance it's actually the right brain the way we think of it left brain and right brain is not biologically accurate or physiologically accurate, um, but the right brain is actually the midbrain and in the back of the brain and the left brain is really the frontal lobes in the back of the brain is your reptilian brain, that's your first developed brain. And that part of your brain is the part that holds on to the trauma and and the trauma is also held in the body. So if you go to a talk therapist and I've had clients tell me I got more in this first session that I did in 18 years of weekly talk therapy because as Erin said, they're circumventing the issue and they're making logic of why you shouldn't act like a 5 year old when. You are faced with a certain situation that reminds you of the past, cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT, it's a big buzzword to to understand why it's not necessary for you to act like a 5 year old, but your body is acting like a 5 year old, your reptilian brain, so the way that Erin is speaking into and much of our modalities is going right to the body and healing it from where it is and that's also healing the reptilian brain. The other thing I wanna say is that people can get addicted to cake. And my guess is that these are not necessarily they're doing it on their own or they're not necessarily going to a uh uh media master no dominatric or dumb, so they're not necessarily going to a dom who's really got a powerful healing background and Um, or they're just doing it within their own sex life or going to kink clubs, and there's the adrenaline rush and the cortisol rush that are connected with the sexuality. So yes, most people are drawn to kink because they've got trauma, which could be past life trauma. It could be present life trauma, but also if it's not dealt with in a therapeutic way, it can become just as addictive as porn, which we'll talk about on Wednesday. So you see a breath. Oh Those nervous system trauma geeks that want to really dive into this, these graphs around polyvagal theory. There's an entire massive books and a lot of things you can really dive into what I've done in these four pages is essentially condense all of that into what I perceive as something that's palpable that you can apply that you can start to understand, but the number one way of getting good at this. Is in sessions. It's like how I learned the most was just by, you know, especially when I first got started with this work of doing a lot of practice sessions and that's part of why we have the curriculum as we do at the end of the, the level one program. There's practice sessions for you to, to observe and to to go into so you can start to see and then we can get that um. Feedback and understanding from how you're observing things. So this is really how you grow and expand as a practitioner is, you know, kind of get your, get your feet wet, and I was operating ships as a mariner for 1 year before I ever had a license as a merchant mariner. I had to go spend a year out at sea, basically being an apprentice and learning the the masterful skills of operating a big ship and all these different things, so. Same as this work, it's not gonna happen overnight. It takes a certain level of of Commitments and desire to both understand intellectually, but I've met some people that understand polyvaal theory in and out, but they have no idea of how to apply it into a body. They just understand the intellectual comprehension of what these pieces mean. This is really again where the somatic con work is coming into application in your life into your own personal life as well as your life as a practitioner. There any questions on anything so far? Well, they, they're as patient enough as the confidence of who you are as a practitioner. Meaning that if if you're trying to you think the best thing for them is to try to get your fingers inside them and do that. Then, then maybe I think that's the best way like what Morris was saying yesterday that you know from a graduate of ours who was noticing all of these, you know, concrete. Sexual sex with their clients like that's obviously some part of them think that's what they need to do to do them and it's not right or wrong. It's not the methodology that we're showing here because what we've both seen is that. The years and actually doing more of the slow somatic processing that we're initiating here that we're introducing that we're teaching all of you. The results are. That much greater down the road and there's a reason a lot of times people go to a lot of different therapists or you know, psychologists or confritos have peak experiences but then not know how to integrate it and then we'll end up, you know, whether it's one of the two of us or other people who are doing more of this integral approach of working with this. that, you know, I, I know very early on if someone's coming to me like that, like I'll say, yeah, we, you know, we could potentially go there, but there's quite a few steps and And I don't have like a rule book that there needs to be 5 sessions or needs to be 10 like there's, you know, guys I worked with for 20 sessions but and at the only at the end of that I then did a 3 day private immersion and they were able to do deeper internal work, but uh. They were able to feel the 20 sessions that I did with them beforehand that was them needing to feel to clear to to be able to be present for the sensation and experience that's happening in their body, especially for male bodies that are even more now we'll go into that a lot more deeply when we really dive into the man. I'll speak into that as well, um, I. And for me it's about helping the client understand in the beginning that it's not just because I'm postponing this prize of the linga or Yoni massage until I get to know them well enough or they get to know me well enough that's part of it but it's not really it's I'm preparing. Step by step by healing the nervous system by teaching them breath work by doing timeline work to heal the trauma from the past and every session they feel the uh not only my confidence but in addition to that they feel my competence and they feel their response to what I did. And I've, I've not had people, uh, decide to run away before they get to the Yoni or linga massage, but I will tell you that I had one guy recently go to somebody in Orlando, and he said, you know, I wanted a Linga massage, and she told me it would take 5 sessions to get there and the first session, all we did was I laid down and she played her music balls for me. And there was no explanation of what the music balls are doing for his nervous system, or at least nothing that he got out of that. So to him, he was wasting his time paying her $600 for 2 hours, that's what she charged for that singing ball session. I might do breath work. I might do energy healing. I might do all of these things we're gonna be offering you kundalini activation orgasmic activation, which is an exquisite process, um, heart dearmoing, all of these different, uh, TRE, which is magical for this trauma, is it trauma released? Exercise and so these are things we're offering you and as long as you are moving towards the linga Maroni massage and the client understands with their brain that this is part of their process they're not gonna go I cannot wait. And also, you know, I offer discounts and we'll talk about that at the end and so does Erin for multiple session package. So if they've bought a 5 session package or a 10 session package, they're gonna at least be motivated to get the most out of each one. Well, I guess this one piece because I don't know how many of you learned fight or flight years ago like I did in the late 70s, I was in psychology undergraduate. And I learned fight flight fight or flee. That's all there was fight flee fight flee or freeze. I'm sorry, there were 3 and they were all uh weighted the same. You're either gonna fight, you're gonna flee, you're gonna freeze. What we now know is that fighting or fleeing is our body's first response. We freeze when fighting or fleeing cannot possibly be a. Effective in our our awareness and so freezing is actually a deeper response and also it can be a habituated any of them can be habituated responses so those of us myself included, I was 11 or 12 years old, uh 10 to 11 years old, a couple of years I think it went on where my stepfather was sexually abusing me and my sister who was a year older. I dissociated. I froze and my angels took me up. Now what did that do for me? I have, as one of my teachers once said to me, you have 1000 ladders going up to the heavens and all this help coming down for you because that's what I learned to do and that's what they did for me. But that was a response that I then will do how. Done until I learned not to and really worked with how to reactivate my nervous system when I'm in freeze and so there are ways to work with each one of these responses and we go more deeply into this in level 2, but ways to work more deeply with these responses so that they're no longer habitual responses. All, all three of them, in addition to using the tools to make yourself, you know, doing that and, and we don't mind if you're in class and you start doing this or you start fidgeting, you you start moving because your body needs to move, yeah, but and we're gonna go through some of these possibilities when we do emotional release conversation and and practice, but it's about um coming into um homeostasis, what's the word for it and this I'm forgetting. Uh, social engagement. Into social engagement, which is a regulated nervous system. So when you look through these, you'll see in the orange fight or flight are your first responses. Freeze is actually a a dorsal vagal, uh, higher level of response if those two don't work. It can be in this case there was. From some of the memories that had come back to him about 10 years before, he was very aware of what the, the traumas that he was kind of facing, so it was more easily to guide him into some of those, those moments of memory, but in that guiding. Quite often as soon as I was guiding him there and I'll teach you more. When I was got in there, I could see his whole body. There's no movement. There's no breath exposure, even though he's a grown adult, you know, living and breathing was a very successful, you know, corporate CO individual, but as soon as I was guiding him back to that stage, it was just like a dead body. So that was just some of the signs that I was reading as I was guiding him of that. In other cases when. We're working with someone and you're starting to ask more open ended questions and things are coming up and they're finding that there's a reoccurring pattern or something that's there and I might ask them, oh, you know, they're whatever the pattern might be and I'm I'll ask them that question what does that remind you of? Oh wow and then often just simply with the right question. Sometimes when I've had this quite often, they're coming back into a moment of meming their childhood that they've never even thought about before. Because the safety that's been created in that session has allowed those memories stored in the back of the brain to come forth and they're like whoa, and that's especially in those moments and rather than them going into the freeze and freaking out, OK, stay with me breathing what's alive? What are you feeling? What are you noticing? Tell me about the situation, who's present? What's there? What do you notice inside your body breathing alive and in there, so that can be that. I've also seen oftentimes, you know, in in session spaces when I'm working with someone and I'm referencing both online and in person here. Where their body just, you know, for whatever reason kind of goes into a bit more of a frozen state. So then as they come back and I'm starting to get them breathing, I'll ask, well, you know, can you tell me a little bit about what happened right before you were there and then, you know, guiding them into some memory recollection that's then informing more awareness about what it was that brought them there. The body works in a lot of mysterious ways, but the body keeps the score. The reason that these things are coming up there's a reason that these. Uh, freezing moments is, is, um. Situations are arising. Every single one of you creates a different reality in your present day life. Every client that you see creates different reality. Those realities are ultimately what they're creating to help heal and clear the things that they haven't dealt with in their past. So if we can actually utilize present day situations to inform you of what needs to be healed from the past, this is where your job as a practitioner comes in really well. Which is why having a two week timeline or a couple week timeline in between sessions and then you can have a check in what's present? what's been going on? Well, I've been running into the same thing, you know, my girlfriend's doing this thing and it's pissing me off and I'm like, OK, what is that reminding you of? Oh, reminded me of when my mother used to do something similar and then utilizing present day reality to inform. What it was that wasn't healed from before and then you have the resources to then guide them to rewire, recreate the moments in the memory to then bring them back into present day reality with their partner and then you dissolve time and space together. I wanna add a few things of how you can tell. One is you are doing an intake with them and whatever the how you ask questions draws them out. And so people will often tell me that they've got trauma and uh they know that I am informed and that it's one of my specialties. Uh, the other thing is look for addictions. Uh, do they hold themselves really tight? Um, are they fidgeting a lot? Um, do they get into a lot of car accidents or um other kinds of accidents, you know, you're looking at ways in which the body appears not um regulated, then you know some things up, but some people, because this was uh actually um those words come from. Uh, the body keeps the store, the score of Bessel van van der Koo, but also Peter Levine may have said being alone with too much, but it's the, it's one of the current definitions of trauma is being alone with too much. So I had a guy once tell me he, he was referred. The session for something else and he said that's not really an issue. His girlfriend referred him or his wife referred him for something and he said, you know, that's not really an issue for me. This is what I have to deal with what he's saying. I have to forget what she said. This is, this is happening. I'm biting my nails. I'm like, OK, would you be willing to do uh a hypnotherapy for that? Uh, I can't remember if it's hypnotherapy or energy healing. I think it was actually energy healing, and I'm seeing. His him uh while I'm doing this energy healing work, um. Uh, riding a bicycle and falling off and being all bloody, so he, he said, I, I don't know if I said this. I asked him, do you have any trauma? He said no. All right, so I'm seeing this bicycle scene, he's all bloody. Was there a bicycle seat and did something happen to you on a bicycle? Oh yeah, well, I hurt myself when I was really young and my I was bleeding all over the place and my father came up and he picked me up and he just felt like he didn't really know what to do with me and that's a trauma. The other one he didn't know was a trauma was he was riding a horse and the horse went under a tree with a low lying limb. And the the tree limb hit him and knocked him off the horse, and he had a concussion and he had to go to the ER for days or be in intensive care for days to get his brain working right again, and he didn't know that was a trauma. So trauma can be many, many different kinds of things. Um, timeline work may be able to work with that for you, with something like that that they don't even realize was trauma. There are so many stories I have of people thinking they had no trauma, and it it might be really small, and yet for them in that moment. I wouldn't say either one of those two is really small. It's just not what some people think of trauma being sexually, emotionally, or physically abused. And I have found that on my intake conversations, it's way more important how well I listen than how much I sell myself.