1 00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:09,510 Dale Sidebottom: All right, 2 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:09,810 Everyone. 3 00:00:09,870 --> 00:00:12,270 Welcome back to the Dale and Kyle show today. 4 00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:14,760 We're going to be talking about 99 problems. 5 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:16,020 Before I get into that. 6 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:17,040 My name's Dale Saba. 7 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:18,300 I'm joined by my good mate. 8 00:00:20,790 --> 00:00:21,060 Kyle Wood: Hello. 9 00:00:22,050 --> 00:00:22,240 Dale Sidebottom: Hello. 10 00:00:22,240 --> 00:00:25,110 I call great to see you and hear from you as always now. 11 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:29,100 Um, I'm going to do more of this sort of questioning today, mate, because we 12 00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:33,120 just had a little chat off and I feel like I've got a lot of problems and 99 13 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,380 is probably not enough at the moment. 14 00:00:34,980 --> 00:00:36,000 I don't want to be negative. 15 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:41,010 Cause I think, um, yeah, if we just listen to negativity all the time and um, I 16 00:00:41,010 --> 00:00:45,240 know I always feel a little bit better when I'm productive and I feel that. 17 00:00:45,930 --> 00:00:48,420 Feeding some good questions that you today is going to really 18 00:00:48,420 --> 00:00:49,769 help me and kicks out my week. 19 00:00:49,769 --> 00:00:50,640 So how are you winning? 20 00:00:51,855 --> 00:00:52,425 Kyle Wood: I'm very good. 21 00:00:52,425 --> 00:00:52,935 Thank you. 22 00:00:54,375 --> 00:00:56,825 Uh, oh, like, man, I try to leave. 23 00:00:56,835 --> 00:01:00,165 We, you asked me how I was and I think we've talked about this last night. 24 00:01:00,705 --> 00:01:04,875 Totally did the thing of like, uh, yeah, well, I, yeah, I 25 00:01:04,875 --> 00:01:05,835 am doing a ride this week. 26 00:01:06,105 --> 00:01:10,035 Um, and that's probably what I want to talk about because we were chatting about 27 00:01:10,035 --> 00:01:12,165 how, uh, I've lost my train of thought. 28 00:01:12,165 --> 00:01:12,375 Sorry. 29 00:01:15,735 --> 00:01:18,285 Dale Sidebottom: Aren't you going to go with your fight when we're in a 30 00:01:18,285 --> 00:01:20,235 state or like you're going to school. 31 00:01:20,870 --> 00:01:21,110 Yeah. 32 00:01:22,070 --> 00:01:22,430 Yeah. 33 00:01:22,460 --> 00:01:22,910 Kyle Wood: Thank you. 34 00:01:23,420 --> 00:01:29,390 So when we, yeah, stuck, you know, in the shit we're in the swamp, we're 35 00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:35,240 in the Maya way, it can be, you know, it's maybe not the best time to be 36 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:36,950 like sharing publicly how I feel. 37 00:01:36,950 --> 00:01:40,820 I mean, we, to be able to do this opposite on social media, but if you're aligned 38 00:01:40,820 --> 00:01:43,520 on your social media comments and likes to make you feel better, that's something 39 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,920 else we can unpack at some point. 40 00:01:46,430 --> 00:01:50,060 Um, but I think, yeah, that's the time to have personal or. 41 00:01:51,149 --> 00:01:55,110 Conversations with friends and people, you trust the therapists, things 42 00:01:55,110 --> 00:01:57,509 like that, um, to help with that. 43 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:04,550 Uh, and I guess, yeah, what we want to keep on this podcast is, um, We still want 44 00:02:04,550 --> 00:02:07,850 to share when we've been through shit, but we want to share, you know, at the 45 00:02:07,850 --> 00:02:10,160 afterwards, like what do we do to help? 46 00:02:10,220 --> 00:02:12,230 Cause I think that's what you want to know when you're in it as well. 47 00:02:12,230 --> 00:02:16,260 You want to know like where's the light at the end of the tunnel, you know, w 48 00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:18,049 what direction can I stop moving in? 49 00:02:18,140 --> 00:02:21,530 And I think you've done a great job as well, Dale in the past at 50 00:02:21,530 --> 00:02:23,660 sharing, um, things like that. 51 00:02:23,660 --> 00:02:26,150 And you're still in a lockdown at the moment. 52 00:02:26,150 --> 00:02:28,550 And I think it's very natural. 53 00:02:29,859 --> 00:02:38,260 To be like here emotions even day to day are going to be different on Groundhog 54 00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:41,049 day going, especially working from home. 55 00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:46,329 Plus again, I definitely have those days where I come in the office and like, ah, 56 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:53,589 um, anyway for me, what, what started happening was I noticed that I was, I 57 00:02:53,589 --> 00:02:59,355 was being very, like very busy and not necessarily like busy, productive, Busy. 58 00:02:59,355 --> 00:03:02,505 So by that, I mean, like not necessarily working on my business and doing 59 00:03:02,505 --> 00:03:09,975 things to make it better or improve or whatever, although that was part of it. 60 00:03:10,125 --> 00:03:14,385 And, and certainly I felt good when I was working on my business 61 00:03:14,385 --> 00:03:15,704 because that was an area of my life. 62 00:03:15,704 --> 00:03:18,195 I felt like I could change, whereas the rest of my life. 63 00:03:19,035 --> 00:03:21,585 You know, sort of was, was out of control. 64 00:03:21,585 --> 00:03:25,575 But when I went into the computer and then to the online world, he was 65 00:03:25,575 --> 00:03:28,035 things I could impact and change. 66 00:03:28,635 --> 00:03:33,945 And so they, when I was coming back out of, um, in, into the rest of 67 00:03:33,945 --> 00:03:37,425 my life, um, I really was having. 68 00:03:38,415 --> 00:03:44,445 Compulsion to be doing something, cleaning something, cooking 69 00:03:44,445 --> 00:03:46,275 something, uh, gardening. 70 00:03:46,605 --> 00:03:51,645 Um, you know, I, I play board games on this website with my friends, 71 00:03:51,915 --> 00:03:54,675 you know, on their playing, you know, like got my phone out and, you 72 00:03:54,675 --> 00:03:56,265 know, taking turns on board games. 73 00:03:56,265 --> 00:04:00,165 Like you're like checking reef, refreshing that's that's in some ways my Instagram 74 00:04:00,165 --> 00:04:01,515 like on like, well, is it my turn yet? 75 00:04:01,515 --> 00:04:02,204 Is it my turn yet? 76 00:04:03,119 --> 00:04:04,950 Um, what else was, 77 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:09,510 Dale Sidebottom: you were masking all your feelings and emotions by being 78 00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:09,899 Kyle Wood: busy? 79 00:04:10,290 --> 00:04:10,769 Yeah. 80 00:04:11,130 --> 00:04:11,339 Yeah. 81 00:04:11,369 --> 00:04:13,560 I wouldn't even let myself sit down and watch TV. 82 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,899 Cause that felt too passive. 83 00:04:15,959 --> 00:04:19,860 It had to be something active that kind of like tricked my brain into 84 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:22,919 thinking it was being productive. 85 00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:28,110 Uh, and, and th that feeling of like just relaxing reading 86 00:04:28,110 --> 00:04:30,840 a book, watching a movie or. 87 00:04:31,724 --> 00:04:34,094 You know, just sitting there with my daughter and not too 88 00:04:34,094 --> 00:04:39,554 much of anything while she played was just so uncomfortable. 89 00:04:39,645 --> 00:04:47,025 And I couldn't even bear the thought of, of facing that level of uncomfortability, 90 00:04:47,114 --> 00:04:48,405 which was really different for me. 91 00:04:48,405 --> 00:04:50,984 Like in the past, I'd be like, I'll notice, become 92 00:04:50,984 --> 00:04:52,094 aware of something like that. 93 00:04:52,094 --> 00:04:54,255 And I'd be like, okay, I'm going to work on that. 94 00:04:54,614 --> 00:04:57,335 And it was like, even the thought of trying to build into like a, a 95 00:04:57,395 --> 00:05:02,790 mindfulness habit or some sort of relaxation habit was just like, Yeah, just 96 00:05:02,790 --> 00:05:05,700 Dale Sidebottom: couldn't couldn't so it was sort of like you weren't, you didn't 97 00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:07,110 want to allow yourself to be bored. 98 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,290 And I think that's a, that's a really common thing, particularly today with 99 00:05:10,290 --> 00:05:15,570 our devices and our phones and any spare second that we, uh, uh, like I'm 100 00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:17,100 not doing something, what do you do? 101 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:18,750 You naturally go through your phone? 102 00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:23,430 Um, and I think, like you're saying you were scared of what that feeling 103 00:05:23,430 --> 00:05:25,350 would be like, so you just didn't want to allow yourself to get. 104 00:05:26,355 --> 00:05:26,595 Kyle Wood: Yeah. 105 00:05:26,595 --> 00:05:30,945 I was scared of what, what was underneath because, you know, and I guess I knew I 106 00:05:30,945 --> 00:05:37,035 was struggling, but I was afraid of yeah. 107 00:05:37,035 --> 00:05:43,395 What, what, what that pain or, you know, being confronted with with 108 00:05:43,425 --> 00:05:45,195 that, we, I would feel like, so. 109 00:05:46,125 --> 00:05:46,395 Did you 110 00:05:46,395 --> 00:05:46,875 Dale Sidebottom: face it? 111 00:05:46,875 --> 00:05:51,195 So once he, obviously we're talking about it now, um, that's, you've 112 00:05:51,195 --> 00:05:54,224 obviously overcome that and you've figured out things that you need to do. 113 00:05:54,224 --> 00:05:58,935 And I'm sure there's a, I don't know, I'm just guessing, but different daily 114 00:05:58,935 --> 00:06:00,734 routines that are helping you do that. 115 00:06:01,015 --> 00:06:02,115 Is that something that 116 00:06:02,715 --> 00:06:03,945 Kyle Wood: I feel like I I'm. 117 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:04,405 Yeah. 118 00:06:04,424 --> 00:06:04,995 Um, yeah. 119 00:06:05,055 --> 00:06:05,955 And I'll talk about that. 120 00:06:06,855 --> 00:06:07,095 Yeah. 121 00:06:07,125 --> 00:06:11,655 I'd like to share sort of, but I think, um, yeah, will share about that. 122 00:06:11,655 --> 00:06:14,685 So for me, I obviously in my head, I was like, yeah, I need 123 00:06:14,685 --> 00:06:15,675 to start meditating again. 124 00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:19,635 Cause that'll help me create that, that more mindfulness again. 125 00:06:20,055 --> 00:06:23,295 But I just couldn't, I couldn't even, because I had to be busy all the time, 126 00:06:23,355 --> 00:06:26,235 even the idea of sitting down for three minutes and meditating, it's 127 00:06:26,235 --> 00:06:28,575 just like, I can't, I can't do it. 128 00:06:28,665 --> 00:06:29,865 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 129 00:06:29,895 --> 00:06:30,825 That's sort of where I was. 130 00:06:32,295 --> 00:06:38,835 So I was chatting to a friend of mine and we're talking about it, this like, why? 131 00:06:39,105 --> 00:06:42,045 Cause I, I was, I was fixated on, okay, I just need the right 132 00:06:42,045 --> 00:06:44,175 meditation routine or like the right. 133 00:06:44,205 --> 00:06:47,295 You know, I don't have the right app or I need like a different approach 134 00:06:47,295 --> 00:06:49,785 or a different style of mindfulness. 135 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,495 You know, you talk about player, what day? 136 00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:54,255 Like, you know, doing something else. 137 00:06:54,555 --> 00:06:58,830 Um, And I was like, oh yeah, that's, that's just what I need. 138 00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:06,359 But I wasn't, I guess still noticing what was causing that block in the first place. 139 00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:10,169 And so for me, it was, um, 140 00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:16,030 it was a lot of, we talked about this before a lot of shooting. 141 00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:19,419 Like I was like, I should, or I need to start this meditation habit. 142 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:24,435 And so then, you know, There's like a natural resistance that comes up. 143 00:07:24,974 --> 00:07:29,594 Um, when we like should, should, should, um, I should be doing this. 144 00:07:29,594 --> 00:07:30,525 I should be doing that. 145 00:07:30,705 --> 00:07:33,405 Um, and we've got enough on our plate. 146 00:07:33,405 --> 00:07:36,555 And I think, you know, with the state of Australia, Australia at the 147 00:07:36,555 --> 00:07:41,804 moment, even avoiding the news is still like a low level of stress. 148 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:45,104 Like an anxiety, just, just this constant. 149 00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,775 Um, and it's, it's exhausting and super tight. 150 00:07:49,060 --> 00:07:53,080 And I think that in the past, maybe my willpower would have 151 00:07:53,260 --> 00:07:59,290 overcome that resistance, but it was already kind of staving off this. 152 00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:02,140 It's already exhausted from this like low level stress that we've 153 00:08:02,140 --> 00:08:03,070 got going on at the moment. 154 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:09,700 Um, so yeah, it was really chatting to my friend and realizing. 155 00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:18,265 That I wasn't giving myself, um, that permission to slow down and that I needed 156 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:25,645 to come, not from that, like should ankle, but more from that, this is something. 157 00:08:27,534 --> 00:08:28,075 It's hard to put it 158 00:08:30,234 --> 00:08:32,125 Dale Sidebottom: really done the season I get too. 159 00:08:32,275 --> 00:08:34,255 So I get to slow down. 160 00:08:34,345 --> 00:08:39,534 Like I get to meditate instead of what I mean, like when you frame something as a 161 00:08:39,534 --> 00:08:44,395 negative or you put pressure on yourself and it doesn't all, it becomes a chore. 162 00:08:45,194 --> 00:08:48,074 If you reframe it as like it's a luxury or it's something that you 163 00:08:48,405 --> 00:08:50,805 privileged to have the time to do. 164 00:08:51,015 --> 00:08:56,085 I get to go on a podcast I get to do, you know what I mean? 165 00:08:56,085 --> 00:08:59,895 Like little things like that in a way, reframe something, it really 166 00:09:00,105 --> 00:09:01,605 hits those chemicals in your brain. 167 00:09:01,605 --> 00:09:05,085 And it turns around from being a task that, you know, you have to 168 00:09:05,085 --> 00:09:07,935 do like a, to do list one that you don't want to do instead of 169 00:09:07,935 --> 00:09:09,375 like, oh, I can't wait to do that. 170 00:09:09,705 --> 00:09:12,465 And I know it seems silly, but little things like that when 171 00:09:12,465 --> 00:09:13,335 you are in a bit of a funk. 172 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:14,864 Yeah. 173 00:09:15,194 --> 00:09:15,464 Yep. 174 00:09:17,114 --> 00:09:17,535 Kyle Wood: Yeah. 175 00:09:17,564 --> 00:09:21,045 And I think, yeah, just chatting to someone else about it as well, and 176 00:09:21,045 --> 00:09:22,484 getting like a different she's a coach. 177 00:09:22,484 --> 00:09:26,295 So that helped because she knew the right questions to ask and things like that. 178 00:09:26,474 --> 00:09:29,834 But yeah, someone, a friend like that can be really helpful in times like that. 179 00:09:30,494 --> 00:09:34,935 And the next morning, um, like I have my shower and instead of like, going back 180 00:09:34,935 --> 00:09:39,104 in the kitchen, came into my office where I've got a little meditation spot set up 181 00:09:39,255 --> 00:09:40,185 and I was like, all right, I'm gonna sit. 182 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:49,050 And, um, and do this meditation and it was such a weird feeling. 183 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:54,390 Cause it was like, it was just like, Ugh, shit, I really needed this. 184 00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:57,780 Like when I actually got to stop, there was actually like pleasure in 185 00:09:57,780 --> 00:10:02,040 that because I was actually, I, yeah, because I had been going, going, going, 186 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,410 going, going, I hadn't like just rested. 187 00:10:04,410 --> 00:10:08,010 And I had like a, a guided meditation on, which helps us, has like the. 188 00:10:08,834 --> 00:10:11,475 He does music with it, which I think is like the binaural beats, 189 00:10:11,475 --> 00:10:12,925 which sort of gets you into that. 190 00:10:14,925 --> 00:10:17,385 I'm going to start saying stuff you that's wrong, but anyway, it gets you 191 00:10:17,385 --> 00:10:19,485 into that meditative state faster. 192 00:10:20,204 --> 00:10:24,015 Um, and it, it, the meditation was for a busy mind as well. 193 00:10:24,015 --> 00:10:26,225 I was like, this is a perfect one because I feel like that's what's happening. 194 00:10:26,245 --> 00:10:28,515 My mind is going, going, going, and I'm kind of escaping it. 195 00:10:28,515 --> 00:10:34,530 But by looking at, you know, finding other activities to busy me, And those one line 196 00:10:34,530 --> 00:10:38,460 in the meditation where towards the end, where you sort of keep coming back to 197 00:10:38,460 --> 00:10:43,030 like noticing your thoughts and he does this sort of helpful practice where you 198 00:10:43,050 --> 00:10:49,770 label the thoughts, you might be like thinking judging, uh, all record playing. 199 00:10:50,070 --> 00:10:51,750 So like once you become aware of the thought and then 200 00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:52,620 you just sort of let it go. 201 00:10:53,215 --> 00:10:56,515 And that's, that's kind of a nice way to like, acknowledge the thought rather than 202 00:10:56,515 --> 00:10:58,795 like dismissing it as we sit altogether. 203 00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:02,965 And then at the end he's like, oh, I noticed that there's awareness 204 00:11:03,265 --> 00:11:09,895 before the thought and that there's awareness after the thought. 205 00:11:09,905 --> 00:11:13,765 So like, you have a moment of awareness before the thought and MERS, and then he's 206 00:11:13,765 --> 00:11:18,835 like, and then notice that you are not your thoughts, that you are the awareness, 207 00:11:19,015 --> 00:11:21,025 like you're that awareness underneath. 208 00:11:22,095 --> 00:11:25,905 And that was just like, I mean, I've done, I've done Zen stuff, 209 00:11:26,265 --> 00:11:27,435 meditation, I've done Buddhist. 210 00:11:27,435 --> 00:11:31,875 Like, but yeah, it just, I needed to hear that again at that moment. 211 00:11:32,175 --> 00:11:37,845 And that was just so freeing that it's like these thoughts that I've been 212 00:11:37,845 --> 00:11:41,985 terrified of, terrified of spending time alone with just being like, oh, 213 00:11:41,985 --> 00:11:43,665 that's not, that's not actually me. 214 00:11:43,694 --> 00:11:45,495 That's not who I am. 215 00:11:45,944 --> 00:11:50,015 Um, yeah, that was, that was a big, that was a moving moment for. 216 00:11:51,015 --> 00:11:54,015 Dale Sidebottom: And have you continued doing that daily since? 217 00:11:54,015 --> 00:11:56,895 Or is it something that you just do when you feel you need it 218 00:11:58,125 --> 00:11:59,115 Kyle Wood: with trying to do it? 219 00:11:59,325 --> 00:12:04,845 Um, H H day I've also found a good walking meditation. 220 00:12:05,775 --> 00:12:07,875 So that's a good, you might like that, Dale. 221 00:12:07,905 --> 00:12:09,255 Um, so I do 222 00:12:10,455 --> 00:12:10,875 Dale Sidebottom: the same. 223 00:12:11,325 --> 00:12:12,345 You don't shut your highs 224 00:12:12,795 --> 00:12:13,335 Kyle Wood: no night. 225 00:12:14,475 --> 00:12:17,745 So I do headphones and my headphones have this, like here. 226 00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:24,800 So I can still hear like the rest of my surroundings, but I'm also getting, I 227 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:30,440 think again, within music unit, you want to have both ears in it the way it works. 228 00:12:30,980 --> 00:12:32,300 And, um, he. 229 00:12:33,074 --> 00:12:33,225 Yeah. 230 00:12:33,225 --> 00:12:36,314 He just sort of guides you through like awareness of your body as you're walking. 231 00:12:36,314 --> 00:12:39,555 So instead of like sitting there, you're going through your awareness of your body. 232 00:12:39,944 --> 00:12:41,685 And then I don't know, it's like the music or something. 233 00:12:41,715 --> 00:12:43,155 It's like being a little kid again. 234 00:12:43,185 --> 00:12:45,194 It's like, oh my gosh, look at that tree. 235 00:12:45,194 --> 00:12:47,175 And like a bird or flat and just stuff. 236 00:12:47,625 --> 00:12:50,475 It's the same walk I do down to the beach that I've done a 237 00:12:50,505 --> 00:12:54,465 bazillion times suck moved here and I just don't take any of it in. 238 00:12:54,465 --> 00:12:55,905 But then when we're like, when I'm listening to that, 239 00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:56,865 I just have the awareness. 240 00:12:56,865 --> 00:13:02,220 It's like, oh my gosh, Uh, planet, there's a world outside of my head or outside of 241 00:13:02,250 --> 00:13:05,160 the, you know, the house that I live in. 242 00:13:05,490 --> 00:13:08,939 Uh, yeah, I've just really been enjoying that one as well. 243 00:13:08,939 --> 00:13:09,600 So that's a good one. 244 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:12,780 When I don't actually want to sit, I'm feeling resistance to like sitting 245 00:13:12,780 --> 00:13:17,790 still, I I'm always up for a walk or I'll even use it commuting to get a 246 00:13:17,790 --> 00:13:21,930 coffee because the meditation is only about 12 minutes, but it takes me like 247 00:13:21,930 --> 00:13:23,640 20 minutes to walk to the coffee shop. 248 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:26,460 So, um, yeah. 249 00:13:28,365 --> 00:13:30,455 Uh, yeah, that's been a good one too. 250 00:13:30,465 --> 00:13:31,875 They have good old sort of backup. 251 00:13:32,385 --> 00:13:32,685 Dale Sidebottom: Yeah. 252 00:13:32,715 --> 00:13:32,955 Cool. 253 00:13:32,955 --> 00:13:35,445 And I suppose that active, you're still moving your body. 254 00:13:35,445 --> 00:13:37,995 So you're getting sort of the, the mindful benefits as well. 255 00:13:37,995 --> 00:13:43,035 As of, so with that all being said, Was that enough, just slowing down 256 00:13:43,035 --> 00:13:46,575 to kickstart you back on or has there been other things you've done as well? 257 00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:48,165 That, um, yeah. 258 00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:49,395 Cause I'm keen to try that walking. 259 00:13:50,475 --> 00:13:52,925 I don't really feel like sitting in the mind when doing your meditation 260 00:13:53,685 --> 00:13:54,555 Kyle Wood: like that in the house. 261 00:13:54,555 --> 00:13:54,855 Again, 262 00:13:55,905 --> 00:13:58,065 Dale Sidebottom: I don't really pay for that, but if 12 minutes 263 00:13:58,065 --> 00:13:59,385 I can dedicate that on a walk. 264 00:13:59,385 --> 00:13:59,985 No dramas. 265 00:13:59,985 --> 00:14:00,225 Yeah. 266 00:14:00,315 --> 00:14:02,535 Was there anything else that, you know, you've done it. 267 00:14:03,959 --> 00:14:06,329 Kyle Wood: No, I think that's actually been part of it because I was 268 00:14:06,719 --> 00:14:08,130 thinking, you know, I need to meditate. 269 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,390 You know, I need to spend less time on my phone. 270 00:14:10,390 --> 00:14:14,310 And I, uh, I like all these things, too many, too many shirts 271 00:14:14,339 --> 00:14:15,810 that I would want it to change. 272 00:14:16,050 --> 00:14:21,030 And so just changing this one thing, um, has been really helpful 273 00:14:21,030 --> 00:14:25,829 and just trusting that, like, if I just focus on that process, um, 274 00:14:25,859 --> 00:14:27,000 but you know, I'm already feeling. 275 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,820 I feel like more grateful. 276 00:14:33,060 --> 00:14:35,460 I've noticed like more of a sense of gratitude. 277 00:14:36,060 --> 00:14:39,090 I have noticed, I think because these other emotions are coming to the 278 00:14:39,090 --> 00:14:43,830 surface, like surface, I've been a bit grumpier since starting this, but I'm 279 00:14:43,830 --> 00:14:46,980 also dislike allowing that and being like, it's probably just cause I'm sure. 280 00:14:48,060 --> 00:14:50,370 Because I'm actually allowing this stuff to come up rather than 281 00:14:50,370 --> 00:14:53,069 discovering myself out, honestly. 282 00:14:53,550 --> 00:14:53,819 Yeah. 283 00:14:53,819 --> 00:14:55,140 So I'm just sort of trusting. 284 00:14:55,410 --> 00:14:55,620 All right. 285 00:14:55,620 --> 00:14:58,739 I'm just going to do one thing, not going to like stop, like, 286 00:14:58,739 --> 00:14:59,969 you know, I think we do that. 287 00:15:00,479 --> 00:15:03,150 We see if it will do that with breath, from the fitness professional, um, 288 00:15:03,209 --> 00:15:06,089 you know, people, you know, start going there, go to the gym and 289 00:15:06,089 --> 00:15:08,280 they won't go to the gym, commit to going to the gym three times a week. 290 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:10,890 They'll commit to go to the gym every single day. 291 00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:14,640 And then they'll, you know, and the new diet and the new thing and our. 292 00:15:15,470 --> 00:15:17,300 I feel like crap and I still do it. 293 00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:23,030 So yeah, I think that's something also I'm trying to do is just like, all right. 294 00:15:23,180 --> 00:15:27,230 Just one thing and, um, stick to that and do it well. 295 00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:27,890 Yeah. 296 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:28,360 Yeah. 297 00:15:28,370 --> 00:15:30,800 And that's helping me become more aware of everything else. 298 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:31,520 And then same thing. 299 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,680 Like I just trying to notice. 300 00:15:36,425 --> 00:15:41,675 Um, so when I'm noticing that should, or I'm noticing, uh, an activity or 301 00:15:41,675 --> 00:15:44,585 behavior that I'm like, oh gosh, you know, I shouldn't be doing this or I 302 00:15:44,585 --> 00:15:45,695 should do something else right now. 303 00:15:46,115 --> 00:15:49,715 Like instead of doing that, I'm just like, oh, I'm just going to become aware of it. 304 00:15:50,135 --> 00:15:53,225 And so checking in with myself and sometimes that's enough to like change 305 00:15:53,225 --> 00:15:57,095 activity or sometimes, you know, I'll keep doing it, but at least I've had that like 306 00:15:57,095 --> 00:16:00,005 moment of awareness, which I think is. 307 00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:04,770 Dale Sidebottom: Um, and I suppose when you are going through, oh, no, 308 00:16:04,770 --> 00:16:08,100 you're not in the best head space that you know of the things that make 309 00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:10,620 you, that the work for you normally. 310 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:13,680 Um, and I think we're aware of, and like you said, you should, should, 311 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,960 should, should that simple rephrase. 312 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,189 I get to, and just select one domain. 313 00:16:18,189 --> 00:16:22,200 You don't try and be a hero and go and do it all, like you said, 314 00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:24,270 but I get to do this daily. 315 00:16:25,230 --> 00:16:26,670 Do that make a commitment? 316 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:28,980 Like you said, it's, it's not Willy nilly. 317 00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:30,570 Um, it's not germane. 318 00:16:30,570 --> 00:16:32,670 If you're going to learn a new language or ride a bike, you 319 00:16:32,670 --> 00:16:33,870 don't just do it once a month. 320 00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:35,100 And then you pick that skill up. 321 00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,360 It's something you need to do daily. 322 00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:39,570 Um, forming that positive habit of routine. 323 00:16:40,365 --> 00:16:42,855 It's like having a shower, we shower every day to be clean. 324 00:16:42,855 --> 00:16:46,335 It's the same with, you know, you're meditating to clear that noise in 325 00:16:46,335 --> 00:16:51,045 your head or to reframe so you can slow down instead of blocking it up, 326 00:16:51,075 --> 00:16:53,955 wrapping it up, putting to the side and, and not letting it come out 327 00:16:53,955 --> 00:16:57,075 because we know when we do that, that eventually comes out bigger, better. 328 00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:58,880 Stronger than ever. 329 00:16:58,940 --> 00:17:02,950 And it knocks us for six, so we've laid it coming out and 330 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,040 you've got to feel those emotions. 331 00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:07,790 And like, if you said, like, I know the ups and downs, I'm going through 332 00:17:07,790 --> 00:17:11,630 that when I do allow myself to feel it, that if you're pretty negative 333 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:15,319 and you feel pretty bad, but I need to go through those emotions because 334 00:17:15,530 --> 00:17:20,060 if I don't allow myself to then who they're eventually going to come out 335 00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:21,470 and it's not going to be pretty good. 336 00:17:22,665 --> 00:17:25,305 Kyle Wood: Uh, yeah, it comes out sideways and we're, I think, you know, 337 00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:28,274 as, as men, we say that a lot as well. 338 00:17:28,274 --> 00:17:33,585 Like, um, the, the stoic command of stoicism has got some good stuff 339 00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:36,675 in it, but yeah, the, the sort of idea of the stoic man who never 340 00:17:36,705 --> 00:17:41,205 shows these emotions, uh, yeah, it's not, it's not super helpful. 341 00:17:41,565 --> 00:17:44,145 What movie did we watch the other day that I had a good cry at? 342 00:17:44,145 --> 00:17:46,754 And that was, that was big for me because I feel like. 343 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:52,800 A few years ago, I was like very, I was able to cry easily, which I thought was 344 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:56,520 a good thing because it actually like helped me move through emotions and grief 345 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,260 and sadness, and then I'd be all right. 346 00:17:58,290 --> 00:17:59,010 And I'd feel better. 347 00:17:59,790 --> 00:18:03,720 And then, um, I think, you know, becoming a dad, he, you go through 348 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,310 that period of like sleep deprivation. 349 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:09,570 You really do have to like, um, or up, and I've had more trouble like 350 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,430 crying when I feel sad about things. 351 00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:13,620 And, uh, we. 352 00:18:14,780 --> 00:18:16,379 Um, actually, I've got something to share. 353 00:18:16,379 --> 00:18:18,330 That's made me that's remind me, I've got something to share. 354 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:22,810 And of this podcast you liked how I shared it was a real story. 355 00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,075 Uh, but yeah, crying. 356 00:18:27,105 --> 00:18:27,264 Yeah. 357 00:18:27,375 --> 00:18:32,264 W it was like a kid's movie watch with Stacy and 80. 358 00:18:32,264 --> 00:18:33,495 We're watching 80, of course, 359 00:18:36,495 --> 00:18:39,975 which I guess that's going to get anyone, you know, the state of the 360 00:18:39,975 --> 00:18:41,355 entities, like saying goodbye to them. 361 00:18:41,355 --> 00:18:43,395 And I was like, the tears coming down my eyes. 362 00:18:44,034 --> 00:18:44,565 I was watching. 363 00:18:46,585 --> 00:18:47,065 Dale Sidebottom: Yeah. 364 00:18:48,765 --> 00:18:49,005 Kyle Wood: Yeah. 365 00:18:49,005 --> 00:18:51,795 So, um, so that, that I saw that I saw was a good sign. 366 00:18:51,855 --> 00:18:54,255 Like we're talking about feeling your emotions, so, yeah. 367 00:18:54,945 --> 00:18:55,125 Dale Sidebottom: Yeah. 368 00:18:55,125 --> 00:18:55,665 And that's sad. 369 00:18:55,685 --> 00:18:59,325 I think it's important to be able to let those out. 370 00:18:59,325 --> 00:19:00,825 And sometimes they come out with. 371 00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:02,655 When you don't expect it. 372 00:19:02,655 --> 00:19:06,825 I know of called a few times throughout the last 18 months, just at random 373 00:19:06,825 --> 00:19:08,175 times because I've been locked. 374 00:19:08,175 --> 00:19:11,805 It, you just, you feel like it's unfair and things you're going 375 00:19:11,805 --> 00:19:14,805 through, but that's in a way it's, you've got to do that. 376 00:19:14,805 --> 00:19:16,004 You've got to allow that to happen. 377 00:19:16,215 --> 00:19:20,445 Um, and if it's watching a, or it's sitting in your office by yourself, when 378 00:19:20,685 --> 00:19:24,045 you feel like everything's just going pish, but it doesn't really matter. 379 00:19:24,045 --> 00:19:25,245 You need to allow that to happen. 380 00:19:25,845 --> 00:19:26,175 Yeah. 381 00:19:27,615 --> 00:19:30,195 What's this quote, mate, give me a quick story. 382 00:19:31,830 --> 00:19:36,629 Kyle Wood: So last week, since that sad news, I had a, like a member, you know, I 383 00:19:36,629 --> 00:19:38,220 think I've talked before about, I went to. 384 00:19:38,955 --> 00:19:41,804 To this camp in America, it was like summer camp for adults. 385 00:19:41,804 --> 00:19:46,635 Anyway, one of the other regular attendees of that, um, passed 386 00:19:46,635 --> 00:19:49,004 away from brain cancer last week. 387 00:19:50,534 --> 00:19:51,014 Thanks. 388 00:19:51,075 --> 00:19:54,085 Um, she left, uh, she did the other night. 389 00:19:54,085 --> 00:19:57,585 I don't know if she scheduled this and she had a friend posted it or, but she, 390 00:19:57,605 --> 00:20:00,315 she posted to her, to her Facebook wall. 391 00:20:00,675 --> 00:20:07,095 Uh, I messaged, she had pre-written about, um, just sharing, um, 392 00:20:10,495 --> 00:20:15,745 Uh, her sort of final thoughts on life towards the end. 393 00:20:16,375 --> 00:20:21,275 Um, it is kind of like, I don't, do you want to hear the whole thing or 394 00:20:21,295 --> 00:20:22,825 you want me to just read the end? 395 00:20:23,635 --> 00:20:25,065 Dale Sidebottom: Well, I read the good bits. 396 00:20:25,065 --> 00:20:27,285 Don't give me too much cause they know I've got to process it. 397 00:20:27,345 --> 00:20:30,465 I'm not that intelligent on eight punch punchline. 398 00:20:32,805 --> 00:20:35,774 Kyle Wood: I feel like I'm yeah. 399 00:20:35,805 --> 00:20:36,105 Okay. 400 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:37,995 I'll I'll I'll skip down here a bit. 401 00:20:38,865 --> 00:20:39,105 Okay. 402 00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:45,855 So she's talking about, she, she talks about, um, reaching the end 403 00:20:45,855 --> 00:20:49,725 of her life and this idea that she hadn't found the love of her life. 404 00:20:49,754 --> 00:20:53,595 And so, and then she talks about friendships and some insights on that. 405 00:20:53,595 --> 00:20:56,595 So I'll read these last couple sentences. 406 00:20:58,395 --> 00:21:06,554 So she says, um, Surround yourself with people who contradict that unkind 407 00:21:06,554 --> 00:21:11,054 voice, people who see your light and remind you who you are, an amazing soul. 408 00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:14,774 Learn how to receive these reflections from your people 409 00:21:14,895 --> 00:21:16,274 because they are speaking the truth. 410 00:21:17,304 --> 00:21:21,135 Love yourself, no matter how weird and silly it might feel every morning. 411 00:21:21,135 --> 00:21:25,065 Give yourself a hug before your feet hit the floor. 412 00:21:25,185 --> 00:21:27,075 Look deeply into your eyes in the mirror. 413 00:21:27,405 --> 00:21:28,425 Say to yourself out loud. 414 00:21:28,605 --> 00:21:28,905 I trust. 415 00:21:30,335 --> 00:21:33,065 That voice in your head might say, you're a dork. 416 00:21:33,245 --> 00:21:33,785 Ignore it. 417 00:21:34,955 --> 00:21:38,795 As I prepare to leave this body and a Bach on this mysterious journey of 418 00:21:38,795 --> 00:21:42,605 my soul, I hope these observations from my deathbed at somehow useful. 419 00:21:43,379 --> 00:21:47,010 What I know deep in my bones is that learning to love myself has 420 00:21:47,010 --> 00:21:49,199 led me to be able to say this. 421 00:21:49,439 --> 00:21:50,790 I'm so proud of how I lived. 422 00:21:51,659 --> 00:21:57,360 May you feel the same when you head out on your soul journey too, until then 423 00:21:57,360 --> 00:22:00,780 enjoy the ride and always eat dessert first, especially if there's pie. 424 00:22:02,939 --> 00:22:03,449 Dale Sidebottom: I like that. 425 00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:07,409 It's like one of my favorite books always eat ice cream 426 00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:08,760 first or something like that. 427 00:22:10,405 --> 00:22:11,695 Really leave little off. 428 00:22:11,695 --> 00:22:15,445 Don't be a, I think that people can relate to that. 429 00:22:15,445 --> 00:22:15,865 Somehow. 430 00:22:15,865 --> 00:22:19,555 Look, I'm not telling everyone to go and eat ice cream or cake, but what it 431 00:22:19,555 --> 00:22:21,265 really means is if you want something. 432 00:22:22,514 --> 00:22:22,815 Yeah. 433 00:22:23,445 --> 00:22:23,745 Kyle Wood: Yeah. 434 00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:26,865 Uh, earlier on in it, she, she kinda refers to there. 435 00:22:26,865 --> 00:22:31,365 She talks about, are you running towards life or running away from death? 436 00:22:31,365 --> 00:22:35,205 That was a piece of advice that was given to her early on her 437 00:22:35,205 --> 00:22:37,335 journey with battling, sorry. 438 00:22:37,575 --> 00:22:42,315 She actually says, don't say battling cancer on her journey with cancer. 439 00:22:42,675 --> 00:22:43,965 Um, she, yeah. 440 00:22:44,175 --> 00:22:45,345 And so that was a cool. 441 00:22:46,889 --> 00:22:50,340 That that helped to sort of come to terms with death. 442 00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:55,080 And also, yeah, this concept of like, you know, we were talking before this call 443 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:59,250 about fear, like we spent so much of our lives in fear, fear of what other people 444 00:22:59,550 --> 00:23:07,135 will think about us, fear of, um, Fear of doing the things that we, we want to do. 445 00:23:07,824 --> 00:23:13,135 Um, and that's that, that sort of fear of, of death, but we are, what are 446 00:23:13,135 --> 00:23:16,524 we, what are we doing to enjoy life? 447 00:23:16,764 --> 00:23:17,865 How are we running towards. 448 00:23:18,655 --> 00:23:20,365 Dale Sidebottom: Um, well, it's just reframing really. 449 00:23:20,365 --> 00:23:25,735 Isn't it like, like your friend that it's not battling cancer, that it's the next 450 00:23:25,735 --> 00:23:28,525 stage germane and how can she enjoy that? 451 00:23:28,525 --> 00:23:32,965 And it's like, instead of saying, I should do this, I get to like, and I know you 452 00:23:32,965 --> 00:23:34,765 don't want to say I'll get to do cancer. 453 00:23:34,795 --> 00:23:38,545 Like it's not that, but that's the reality that some people face other 454 00:23:38,545 --> 00:23:39,565 people will face other things. 455 00:23:40,139 --> 00:23:44,610 And you can look at it one way or you can think poor me and by the sand things 456 00:23:44,610 --> 00:23:48,570 away, she's reframed that and lived it, that she's left on good terms. 457 00:23:48,570 --> 00:23:54,540 Whereas a lot of people wouldn't be liked and that's the power of changing 458 00:23:54,540 --> 00:23:55,889 the way you perceive something. 459 00:23:56,220 --> 00:23:59,940 Um, and a lot of time it's not fair, but a lot of time you can't control that anyway. 460 00:23:59,940 --> 00:24:02,669 So you might as well get on with it the best way you can. 461 00:24:02,669 --> 00:24:04,740 And that's as hard as it is. 462 00:24:05,159 --> 00:24:07,409 People are going through all different things, but you've got 463 00:24:07,409 --> 00:24:09,149 an opportunity, I suppose, to. 464 00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:14,280 Think about the way you act and turn up each day because that's on you. 465 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:15,419 It's not on anyone else. 466 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,510 They control maybe other things that you control your attitude 467 00:24:18,510 --> 00:24:19,560 and the way you view things. 468 00:24:21,060 --> 00:24:21,300 Kyle Wood: Yep. 469 00:24:22,889 --> 00:24:23,460 Absolutely. 470 00:24:26,190 --> 00:24:26,700 Dale Sidebottom: Very good. 471 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:27,120 Very good. 472 00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:27,940 Thanks for sharing again. 473 00:24:27,950 --> 00:24:28,379 Great man. 474 00:24:28,379 --> 00:24:29,940 Appreciate your insights. 475 00:24:29,970 --> 00:24:31,620 And it was, as you said, it'd be nice. 476 00:24:31,919 --> 00:24:34,440 I feel better now just for accents and questions and actively 477 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,200 Kyle Wood: listening and ask how you're feeling. 478 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:37,470 Yeah. 479 00:24:39,060 --> 00:24:41,520 Dale Sidebottom: I've actually, you know, I've challenged myself in a, 480 00:24:41,669 --> 00:24:46,530 in a different way that, um, yeah, I probably would not have done that if 481 00:24:46,889 --> 00:24:48,450 I hadn't done this podcast with you. 482 00:24:48,450 --> 00:24:48,870 So. 483 00:24:49,825 --> 00:24:49,975 Yeah. 484 00:24:49,975 --> 00:24:52,284 If people are always singing, you sort of get a bit of a funk. 485 00:24:52,284 --> 00:24:57,355 Like I find myself at the moment, um, do something that, you know, will make you 486 00:24:57,355 --> 00:25:01,014 feel better, but, um, and that might be, if you don't have the motivation, do it 487 00:25:01,014 --> 00:25:05,335 by yourself, then you might have a buddy, a friend, a partner, somebody like that, 488 00:25:05,335 --> 00:25:07,945 that will just by doing it or help you. 489 00:25:07,945 --> 00:25:08,845 So, thanks for thanks. 490 00:25:09,895 --> 00:25:10,014 You're 491 00:25:10,014 --> 00:25:10,645 Kyle Wood: very welcome. 492 00:25:11,425 --> 00:25:12,085 Good to see you, buddy. 493 00:25:12,355 --> 00:25:12,985 Likewise, say 494 00:25:12,985 --> 00:25:13,315 Dale Sidebottom: guys.