Welcome to the Love, Sex and Leadership podcast where you can discover simple tantric teachings to embody your true power, awaken your soul's wisdom and live an inspired life as a natural, intuitive and heart centered leader. There's things inside your life that are possibly waiting a lifetime to reveal itself. You might have a lot of your own inner critic that's getting in the way of your soul's expression. The choice is yours and yours alone. As you breathe into the body, I invite you to slowly open the eyes. As your eyes gaze through this room, also gaze and recognize this nature that surrounds us in our Austrian winter, cold, rebirth, rekindling. I recall being here for almost a month in May time when all the flowers were blooming and life was spurting. And these are these cycles that we move through right now, the cycle of going within. If we look out at these trees right now, they could give a perspective of death. There's also a lot of life. There's a lot of life. The seeds being born right now inside every one of them. The thing I love about nature is that if you take an acorn or if you take a seed of any tree, that seed that you're holding is the same as any one of these trees. Same amount of life force, the same amount of life force that you give when the burn, burn. The bark, when you burn, the trees gives heat. And so the question for all of you is, what's that seed inside of you? What are you feeding it with? Are you still feeding it with the same story? You're still feeding it with the same formula that maybe you realize never works for you, but you keep taking the same thing over and over, thinking you're gonna get a different result. Or is it maybe time to put the seed in a new pot? Maybe it's actually not new after all. Maybe that seed, that pot that you know you're here to expand into, is the one that you potentially forgot many years ago. And the thing is, everything we say to this week can just go in one ear and go out the other. That's a choice. And for a lot of people, that's what they do most of their life. What I have seen from being on this journey for a long time is that the seed of possibility, creativity is unique inside of every one of you. And how many of you have ever thought in your life that like, nobody's ever endured the type of pain and suffering that I've gone through since I left you? Nobody has dealt with the shit I have. I am the worst and probably, you know, the billions of people on this planet have said similar thoughts. And so what do we do with those thoughts? Do we compost them? Do we ship them out and let them be the gift that brings the spring flowers? Or do we keep sitting in the dismay of our own fucking destruction? Which, you know, if you're the dark ones, you might really enjoy that. But you realize that there's some point, there's some time in your life when a new choice has to be made. Maybe that's a choice you've been sitting on for a long time. And that choice, when you feel it start to rise up in your body, every cell in your body is like, yes, this feels good. And then you rise into this peak, into this high. And then because you are rising in the purpose that you know is inside of you, guess what life is going to present to you. Obstacles. Yay, obstacles. And you know what those obstacles are doing? They're supporting you. To actually build the resilience, to know inside of you the gift of that, the power of that. But also with those obstacles, if you have the same obstacles for the last decade, maybe that's not your purpose. I'll share a story in my own life also one of the stories I share in my own book. When I was went to the Maritime Academy, I went there because I knew I could be 22 years old and get out of there and have a license in a still that I could work half of the year and spend half of the year, you know, traveling and learning and just being a free soul in the world. I'm very grateful to Mary Jane who showed that to me at 18. Mary Jane is a. That's just another name for marijuana was a beautiful awakening of like, ah, I can go to this up crazy military school that my whole family thinks it's ridiculous for me to go. But then at the end of that, I have a bachelor's degree and then I can actually work out at sea for two, three months, make a ton of money and see what my soul actually wants to do. That sounds challenging, but I'm in. And so I did that for a couple years. And then I, I had just finished a job in, in Hawaii. I was, I came back to Boston, I got an upgraded license. So when you're on the bridge of a ship, you have a third mate, a second mate, a chief mate, a captain. At the time, right out of the university, I was working as a third mate. I had enough time on my license. I've created to a second mate. I was like, sweet, more money, more Freedom. Amazing. So on that Monday, I walked into the union hall. Like, old school union hall. Like job up on the board. Way beyond. Like before social media and posts and even emails. Like you actually have to go into a physical brick and mortar place to get a job. And there was a job for a second mate on a grain carrier that I was about. I. I was like, amazing. I just upgraded my license. Amazing. The ship I had to fly to Kenya and Africa and then take a ship from Kenya to Buenos Aires. And I get off in Israel and then my buddy and I were going to meet in Israel and do a travel some more. I was like, amazing. Three, four months on the ship, make 70, 80 grand on. Sweet. And that was, you know, life on a ship, you work your ass off and you have a bunch of money in your pocket. So on that Monday, everything in my body was like, I'm in, I'm in. I remember I was out with my friend's family that night. I'm like, I'm excited. I'm doing this. I'm going. You know. I was 24, I think at the time. 24, 25. It was amazing. I woke up the following morning on that Tuesday and my whole entire body was like, no. Like, what do you mean, no? I remember my phone was there. I had a phone at the time. And I saw on my phone the call from the union house. I had to go back in that day and take the job. I had to go back in. And they were flying me on Wednesday. So this was a Monday job, Tuesday, paperwork, Wednesday, Kenya, boom, boom, boom. Very fast. This is how these jobs work. And I was watching the union hall call and I'm like, I cannot pick up this phone. I didn't even know what to say, but I just knew this thing inside of me that said no. And I was like, my mind, my entire mind was like, yes, Money, freedom, travel. My body was like, do not pick up the phone. And I just fucking fought myself. What do I do? And this was like a whole morning long process. And I'm like, what is going on? What do I do here? Talking to friends and they're like, you know, just keep listening. Like, listen to what do I go? And then I found, like, I. I remember there was the time I had a partner in LA and a friend of hers had introduced me to this year. Master's degree in psychology. And I remember when I thought about that, I started to feel this. Something in my body was like, oh, that's a different feeling. And I started to feel that. And then I looked at like, okay, when does this thing start? On Wednesday, the same night I was supposed to fly to Kenya. They had an intro evening. I was like, oh, fuck, I'm going to la. And. And I just had this feeling of like. Everything started to open and I, you know, I had to explain to the union hall. They're like, why aren't you coming? I'm like, I can't even remember what I said. I just knew I could not take this job to Africa. So instead of flying to Africa, I flew to la. That night. I remember being in the back of the room, my body was like, yes, yes, yes. It was just speaking a language of my soul. And I registered in that. And that started this whole. My whole journey into this field. You know, I met pretty soon after I started working for the Self Development Publishing company. I met Jack Canfield, Wayne Dyer, before all these, like, old school people in the field of self development. And every time I'd be. Every weekend I was in la and my body was, like, soaking and taking it in, and it was like, yes, yes, yes. And to me, that came to a moment of deeper listening. I came to a moment of deeper listening, of recognizing that I couldn't keep listening to my mind. My dad, my family, everyone was like, of course, go make money. Don't be fucking stupid. But there was a deep knowing there was a seed that had got enough fuel, enough water, that was ready to more deeply nourish itself. And that was a moment that changed the entire trajectory of my life. A month or two later, I bought a sailboat in la. I started teaching meditation, I started studying meditation, I started living in this whole world that I was like, I need this in my life. And it opened up everything for me then. So I share this because I know for every single one of you, there's moments, there's seeds, there's things that you might have been pushing down for a while. And those seeds, when they're properly nourished, there's an entelechy. There's an entelechy of wisdom inside of your soul. And the question is, are you listening and taking answers from that entelechy? Entelechy is a short version of intelligence. When you hold the seed in your hand, is recognizing that that seed holds the intelligence of growing into a big, mighty oak. But not all seeds grow into a big, mighty oak. And it's not that the other ones are beating themselves up about not growing into an elk, but what there is, is we have a choice. We have a choice to choose the reality that we're living each and every day. And we have a choice that sometimes it might feel like we're going upstream, it might feel like everyone around us is telling us something different. But there's a deep knowing inside. And that choice, I've made a lot of other choices where I've fallen flat on my ass. So it's always been perfect. That's part of the process. But it's the resilience of learning how to feed yourself more deeply. And that's really where we circle all together today. Because what I have seen is that the more that this is an empty channel, and that's a lot of the stones that you've been carrying, the traumas, the guilts, the beliefs, the misinterpretations of reality, the more that all of that can be let go of. The family of origin stories, the shadow work, all of these pieces to me are building up into Awakening Soul Purpose. Again for me, chapter 10 of my book, after taking people through nine chapters of rewiring and rewriting everything in their family, 10 is awakening soul Purpose. Because this is where we step into the reason that you've incarnated into this life. Like God didn't make a mistake with you, even though it might feel like sometimes you did or he did, or she did, or it did. And actually when you can say thank you to every single thing that's happened in your life because nobody's had the journey that you have, nobody's fallen on their ass, learned things that you've learned, gone through the things that you've gone through, and I guarantee you because of that, doesn't mean you need to go out and be a coach. But what it does mean, like if you want to go for it, but what it does mean is that there's a trajectory of your soul that's different than everyone else. And the more that you are aligning to that vibrational attunement, then in my perspective, the world is a safer, more beautiful, more vibrant place of other people aren't trying to prove themselves. And that's a fucked up thing to also recognize in today's social media world. Because when it comes to purpose, a lot of people find purpose and then they think every single other person needs to do the exact same thing. So then they're going to teach the blueprint and they're going to copyright it and certify it and make it so that the only way that you can do what they've learned as their purpose is to teach you how they've done it and do a lot of NLP and marketing to get you there. And it's kind of. And that's like. And there's also a part of our human tendency that does that, that does, like, want to compare ourselves to others. So this is also where you might notice, like, the part of you that, yeah, you want to learn and absorb, but also trust your unique channel. Your unique channel is unlike anything else. We're not here to be the gurus, up here to say, be like us. We're just as fucked up as any one of you. But we've also learned things along the way that can support frameworks to help you step into the alignment, the capacity, the beauty, the expansion of what you really know is possible in this life. So that when you're on your deathbed and you're taking your last breaths, you're able to look back at life and say, you know what, spirit? I gave it my all. I took the lessons, the learnings, the things that I went through, the times when I kept asking, why, God, why? I took them all. I assimilated them together in this spiral of life. I shot them through my body and I created the flowers of possibility and beauty. So thank you for giving me this opportunity, spirit, to have this incarnation, to live deeply, to love completely, and to know that no matter what you matter, that the love inside of your heart matters. So whatever that unique purpose is that's inside of you, that might have been, maybe it's what you're living. Maybe there's something else. Those deep corners of your being that you haven't listened to. My highest encouragement is take what we're going through today, bring your totality, just as you've done all week, and see what gets to be birthed from the mud. What's the lotus that gets to rise from inside of that sa?