The Tannerlings? What is this, Full House?
They are taking it all back to the Tan House.
Baldrick is contemplating assassinating Tan Housers.
Can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.
Can't make a campfire without taking your skin off.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
You must give so this place may thrive again.
the wavelength. No, no, no. Nobody's
there. Nobody's between you,
Veena, and me. However, Rahua
makes a beeline for Orin,
thundering through the snow, and then
just shoves Veena out of the way anyway
because she's right next to him.
I don't know how
close you are to the edge of the cliff, Orin, so
you might have to resolve that one, too.
Yeah, I fall off the cliff. How many points of damage do I take?
Let's say that. I'm not off it.
Oh, perfect. Kirsten, I think I have to
make an attack roll against Veena to shove her.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please set me on fire
before I hit the ground.
Oh, it's an athletics check?
I'll give you an athletics check. Hold on.
Awesome.
Waiting.
Waiting? Any second now.
Okay, I believe.
I believe Veena can fly.
Okay. Oh, my god.
Access unauthorized.
Oh, yeah, you're gonna have to re-log in.
Thanks, Froundry. Fuck!
Thanks, Foundry.
Cool!
I got into the game
fine, but when I attempted to act...
Nah, it's a login.
It's just not allowed.
It's fine. I'm signing back in right now.
Your credentials are not accurate, Hulky.
Oh, my god. I'm getting fired by the feds.
You gotta get the fuck out of here, dude.
Hulky Crow.
I should have deleted the entire repository for this game
before I got fired. Fuck.
Sorry.
Chad, do you
play your things online?
Tell us
in the comments below.
And in the live chat.
I do.
I do.
But you're gonna hear an unpopular thing, which is...
I use roll 20.
As long as it works for you.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Yeah.
Why would you apologize?
Wow.
It works spectacularly.
Eh.
All right.
Now I can roll acrobatics.
Athletics.
That's...
Yeah.
That's the...
Athletics check.
So that's a 40.
Okay, man!
Okay.
What's your fortitude DC, Veena?
Uh, my fortitude?
Uh, my...
DC.
DC.
So that's 10 plus your fortitude.
10 plus my fortitude.
Um...
Uh, that'll be a 29.
Okay.
Um, so that will be a critical success on the shove.
Okay.
Okay.
Um, so...
So on a critical success,
uh,
you push the target 10 feet away,
um,
and you can follow up,
but you don't have to
because you push Veena over the cliff.
All right.
All right.
Make sure to set me on fire for good measure.
Uh,
I'll go ahead and make my,
my willpower check,
uh,
to see,
to see if,
if I,
if I can act this turn.
Veena,
there are two important things,
there are two important things
you need to do right now.
First of which,
survive.
Second of which,
become Mormon.
That way you can become Joshua Graham.
Uh,
Joshua Graham.
You can't expect a cliff
and get set on fire?
He got set on fire
and thrown off the Hoover Dam.
That's like a cliff.
Oh,
I didn't know he was in,
he was in the battle for Minas Tirith.
I thought I saw that.
At least there was water at the bottom
to put him out.
Poor guy.
No,
there isn't.
That's the problem.
Oh,
no.
That's a rough one.
That's a rough one, buddy.
Well,
that explains how I did it.
Honest Hearts is the worst.
Let me,
one sec,
I have to find out how many meters you fall.
Um,
let's continue on
as I grab the reins.
Um,
It's okay.
I can,
I can save both of you.
I can save everybody.
To grab the reins back onto the adventure,
uh,
Oren sees Ruhua rush up to him
and then all of a sudden
the paralyzation is like,
I'm good.
I'm good.
Thanks,
Mr. Ruhua.
Ruhua just drops to his knees,
is grinding through the snow to you,
his arms laden like a forklift
to scoop you up.
Oh,
that's,
oh,
thanks,
Mr. Ruhua.
The fear you instilled in me
got me better.
Oh.
I guess I'm a,
a faith healer now,
I suppose.
Looks at your character.
Are you sure you're not paralyzed?
See,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
see,
honking sound uh you all hear the the horrific uh sound of the baron whitworth that was the
specific one that ran you down um i'm glad it has a name oh it has a name i have notes
really cool vehicle crashed into a mountain wonder what it does
oh no all right be awesome if this mountain had like a giant time dilation bubble and then we get
back to the village and it's just a five lane highway starfinder 2e at that point
that's the segway that's the segway we're just for the surprise
all right that's how they get us in there is anyone grievously injured
i'll be all right i i feel like i've slingshotted around a little bit health-wise but i'm on my
feet so uh i can make it up the mountain probably excellent
excellent
you
let us not forget our duty is not done with the dragon
yeah we gotta get to the the summit to that cave she mentioned
correct come on guys let's hurry up
is everyone good to walk do we need support do you need a cane
need uppies every good or in purchase on your shoulder
oh yeah forward that way and he points out who was walking like a hunchback at this
point gets just a whole ass boy on him yeah but he's got hollow bones he's a little guy yeah i'm
light okay he's three apples tall and weighs just as much he's three apples tall how does
orin keep getting smaller he's just a little incredible shrinking boy he uh he has benjamin
button disease he just gets smaller and his head gets larger that's what happened to benjamin
button we'll keep walking
we'll walk with a limp with orin on his shoulder benjamin button curse to turn into a funko pop
the air here is becoming incredibly thin um you can see the sort of baseline of a path the snow
um having some some
some treads in it you see the the hobgoblin treads from those who are sort of like waiting on the
mountain many of them have now run uh in fact over the course of your trip you see at least
three hobgoblins um sliding down to to lower uh sections of the mountaintop in order to escape
uh having seen the demise of the the liege that their lineage has been bound to
you know something has occurred to me here what's that yeah hobgoblins tended to the dragon not lizard
folk
that's a fair point so where are the lizard folk well and what have they got to do with this
we did find some on the way there's no way that could be all of them give me a nature check
yeah recall knowledge with a nature check nature check recall that orin got a 40.
oh uh for who i got a 40 as well high five ah yeah high five myself
as you as you speak the words with hobgoblins and the lizards you realize the the lizards were
primarily like in in the middle of the game and they're not in the middle of the game they're not
in the middle of the game they're not in the middle of the game they're not in the middle of the game
in the the foothills of the mountain closer to some of the water the water um the body's water
like the lakes and the streams that you were passing by um hobgoblins here would make sense
mostly because um lizards would probably fucking die up here oh yeah it is very cold up in the
mountains but i think you're the one who didn't make the check and like you're the one who's just
like of course that makes perfect sense that makes perfect sense
i take both of your nature rolls and i put them into my giant brain they're mine
just sitting here with his college education about anatomy and physiology of things just
waiting for the two nature boys to figure out why the cold-blooded creatures don't like gold
mountains and i also noticed there aren't any palm trees yes there are indeed there are no
palm trees up here tan house
house it would make a terrible vacation spot yeah how the hell are we supposed to get to
margaritaville from here well like they say it's five o'clock somewhere and maybe at the top of the
mountains please don't sue us oh he's dead it's fine no
you carry a thing to say
yeah you carry it you carry it up this way everybody or and uh hops off for who and
begins to bird hop on top of the snow leaving little bird footprints as he uh helps lead
everybody oh awesome can i get everyone to give me
a
fortitude save please you got it sure is this against the cold uh yeah it's cold in altitude
but i'll say cold factor i will say this if it gets the who here is the most fucked up
uh i'm at 46 hp anyone lower than 46 no nope i have taken no damage
all right while shit's going really bad um oh this only lasts for a minute so i don't
know
if it would matter i was gonna cast fire shield but it only lasts for a minute um i thought you
were gonna say fireball for a second i'm like all right that's one solution i guess fireball
like cause the snow caps to melt all right let me give you my fortitude then
it's a 14 on the die we're at 36 from time how is that and uh balder got a i got a 42 for who is that
27 vena got 28 and oren got a 29 we're counting
okay so the target number here was a 31 so that will mean rahua vena and oren will fail um
you are all fatigued as you carry on up the mountain
the the sort of like high altitude the cold the trudging is really taking a toll on you as you're
walking up this path through snow in an altitude that you you're really like not acclimatized to
i miss the sea
it's much colder than the swamps or the
the humidity of the city
it's much colder than the swamps or the humidity of the city
it's much colder than the swamps or the humidity of the city
i can't say i'm really cold but for some reason
all of my sinews are seizing up probably from the cold
thurston yes due to oran's um sort of memory of this place and like he would assume that like to
help traverse up this mountain that his people probably put like checkpoints or like hey
we put some markers that can help lead you through this and maybe here's like your
pit stop of a cave if you need something real quick and like there's an
avalanche or like a snowstorm or something uh can roll a survival to see if i can potentially
identify spots where we can kind of leapfrog to cover to cover yeah absolutely give me a
survival check all righty i'm going to have a point gap so i rolled a four
come on baby oh well it's an eight no no there's it's higher uh with the plus 10 pity bonus uh it is a 39.
okay um so that's enough for you to to find some areas um or and i'll say that that that is going
to protect you um vina and who are still going to get exhausted from this this is just not built for
them but a survival check on your part is enough to kind of give you the shelter again this is made
for sort of your people and some of the guardians who would come up here uh it's not great for tree
people or um you know self so you would assume that a self would be better at this
yes but apparently not
over here guys and or will kind of bird hop over in and i would assume it would be like a small
kind of like like a small little chunk basically like a small cave or like maybe a couple yeah
like it's barely enough to hold all of you just to take a little break it's not the cave you're
looking for but it's definitely like a little side area to take a breather in uh is orange
uh leads everyone over uh he will basically be like here guys you can your reason's too bad you
guys can fit in here real quick the covers help warm me up a little bit try to keep the cold off
of you i'm holding up pretty fine i'm gonna go wherever and point it out thanks bud yeah thank
you all for reading hmm
oh my god
can i have some of those
here to give me another piece of wood we can set a fire on some bark of mine
should we be peeling should we be setting fire to pieces of you that we peel off
i'm not gonna question it oh i'm sure it's fine here grab that stick right there
yes that one right there right there yeah let me let me get a piece of king
here we go this will work
work well i don't want to set that on fire now i already tore it off it can't go back on okay
i don't believe myself don't you love me don't you love to live i do yeah i do and live okay
can you do damage to rahua please yeah can i do that how do i make an attack on myself for flensing
perfect for flip yeah do i do i have to make a particular check
to like tear off part of my part is this just a strike
i want to see you fail to do that and miss yourself
miss i don't happen to be misses i don't like any of that
i do think i should take damage though if i'm sacrificing part of myself to keep us warm i mean
Sure, roll 2d6.
Okay, 2d6.
The first time in his life that Thurston does not want to damage you.
Well, this just seems like cheap.
You know?
I understand.
As he rips a chunk of himself off, Baldrick will come over.
Ah, I got a flint and steel, hang on.
And I can throw these on, too.
Baldrick will dump five torches out of his inventory onto the part that Rahua just tore off of himself.
And is going to start lighting it on fire.
Did you tear that off of Rahua, too?
No, I just had these.
Oh.
But okay.
For how long?
It's almost like you have several campfires just right there.
Almost like a defeat of the purpose.
You kind of were already tearing that part of yourself off before I could stop you.
Well, like they say, you...
If you can't make it...
You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.
You can't make a campfire without taking your skin off.
Thank you, Baldrick.
I don't know if any of that works.
You must realize that if you check the icebox for eggs, you don't have to pull them out of yourself.
Does that make any sense?
Does that analogy work, Rahua?
Hold on.
One second. Humor me here.
Okay.
I'm going to say this is going to be a two.
It's a two.
Okay.
Oh.
Sorry, the thought of eggs had me a little crazy.
But yes, that makes sense.
What?
Ugh.
Ever since I ate those bad eggs, I've just really not been enthused by the concept of them.
You need to have a doubt.
A doctor's egg.
When we get back to Outset, you can have one, provided the place hasn't burnt to the ground yet.
Yeah, but I coughed one of those up, remember?
Yeah, you coughed it up because you didn't actually eat it.
Oh, yeah. I don't eat food.
Can we move on?
You start seeing, like, snow shaking outside as the whole mountain seems to vibrate.
Ugh.
Yep.
Don't have to tell me twice.
Unless you want to get spilled over the side of the mountain.
I do not want to get spilled over the side of the mountain.
I do not want to get spilled over the side of the mountain.
Yes, Oren.
Do you still have that spell that makes the cabin?
Yes, but it will take a minute to prepare.
Well, I think we're going to need that minute, Mr. Tannhauser.
I'll try to save you some time.
And Oren rushes off.
Very well.
As he kind of, like, assume, like, the snow has been picking up at this point and it's becoming, like, is it, like, more of a snowstorm or is it just, like, still empty but just we're hearing something might be causing an avalanche?
It's empty but the mountain itself is shaking so snow is falling from further up.
Gotcha.
As Oren kind of, like, he'll run off a bit further away from it and he'll turn around as he sees the snow coming down and he'll look down and he'll grab Gorgomungr's claw.
Uh, one that he kind of...
held on to after the first time they slayed him.
And as he's kind of looked down and he begins to kind of talk to himself as if he's still trying to speak to Gorgomungr who's...
he still has the link to him and everything.
He's still with him but he's not been summoned.
Irvid, he's like, like,
Gorgomungr?
Look, I...
Look, they're really going to need help here.
They're going to freeze up here and...
I'm just asking for a little bit of help, Gorgomungr, and...
I'm just asking for a little bit of help, Gorgomungr, and...
And I'm sorry.
And I'm sorry.
The mountain shakes a bit more violently
The mountain shakes a bit more violently
in response to that.
Give me a perception check.
Sure thing.
Three on the die
for 24.
Um, maybe about...
200 feet up
at an angle.
You're starting to see
the snow has fallen off of a section
of the mountain that reveals
a large open face.
Like a cave face
that goes inside
that probably was obscured
by the snow.
And just to make sure my
reading of the situation
is right, like, if the snow falls
down on us, it's pretty bad, right?
Um, yeah, but it seems
like where you are now, it's actually
parting. Like, the
mountain shook, but this area seems
relatively safe because of your survival check.
You've got a good place where you're not
really in danger of, like, being trapped
or anything. It more looks like
whatever this vibration is
has just shaken
loose some of the snow up
top and sort of revealed this
larger cavernous area.
Well, looking up at it, Oren looks
at his friend as he's still holding
uh, holding the claw.
And he goes like...
And he goes like,
Thank you, Gorgomonger.
And he'll walk over
to his friend and go like, I see the entrance
up there. It's not that far
off, just a little bit more.
And it'll be a lot warmer in there than out here.
I just assume
at that exact moment as you walk in,
Tannhauser's finished summoning
the cabin.
Actually, uh,
can I spend a hero point
real quick?
Oh, fuck, okay.
When Oren comes back, everybody else
frozen icicles.
I'd like to
narratively declare
I would like to narratively declare
the rest of the party
is dead.
No, hold on, you might be hooking right there.
Are we
talking like the Shining
kind of levels here, like
you just come in and it's like
Jack Torrens right at the end when he's
like fucking trapped there,
you know.
Well, I was originally planning
on, since I noticed Tannhauser hadn't been speaking
a lot during the Rahua sets himself
on fire arc,
that I was thinking about having
when it came time to, if anyone ever
addressed me, about being frozen
in a giant block of ice, and
it just seems like a more
comedically apt bit for us all to be
frozen, like the caveman.
The way you were
framing that to me was you saying
well, I wasn't talking a whole lot
during the bit where Rahua was setting
himself on fire, so I figured
everyone else gets to be frozen
and I get to talk with Aurath.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can that be erased? Is that possible?
Spend the hero point.
Do you have his hero point back? I don't want to be frozen.
Spend the hero point.
It's mildly blustery in the cave.
Oh, fuck you!
I'm getting my hero point back!
I'm giving it back!
Remember to give yourself a hero point, everyone,
for the start of the session.
I will give myself a Libra Boimb.
I got one.
If what you say is
true, Auron, we must move quickly.
We don't have much time.
Do you have any idea how cold
metal gets in the mountains?
Or as Tannhauser
is yelling at him, he'll
kind of grab onto the claw again
and Thurston, I would like to propose
to you, take control of Gorgomungr for me
if you don't mind. You
free-filled inevitably do whatever you want with him
at this point.
Auron internally is
asking for Gorgomungr's help.
Basically, because I have the spell
Dragonform, but I haven't narratively
used it again, because he usually
imbues himself with Gorgomungr
to take that form, and
he's like, I need to help
my friends. I need to help
clear the way and get up to this
cavern, you know, and
and I'm just
for
anything that we've had,
you know, and Auron's
like eternally apologizing for his mistakes,
and things like that, and
for what he's done, and he
recognizes his anger at him.
He's like, at least for
them, not for me.
Please, allow me to
help them.
Alright. The
mountain shakes again in response. This
time, the sound is slightly more audible
as you all hear this, like,
almost shaking
um
it's just this shaking
breaking
um
kind of
distortion that has this, like,
rhythmic backdrop to it, and you hear
and all of your companions can actually
hear this now, too, just from where you
are. Um
What was that? Oh, no. No, I'm sorry to interrupt you.
Just, my upstart neighbor
just to fuck this up,
upstart neighbors like to drag their furniture
across their hardwood floor, make a
noise. Oh, that's perfect. Yeah, that's
exactly what you're hearing. Okay, cool. Awesome.
Thanks, neighbors. Fuck you.
Alright. Keep going. Yeah, yeah,
except this has, like, an undertone in
all of the rest of you here. It's, like,
this
I'm fine with the web.
You're free to take this as whatever time you want.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, it seems as though
the mountain has sort of
taken on that gorgomonger
way as it's shaking off.
all of the snow it actually made a a fine path leading up to this cabin
um should we just go ahead and push through
yeah come on everybody get any better or it'll start helping anybody who feels way too cold to
move on and we're going to use his wings to kind of cover uh veena and as much of her as he can
uh they kind of like make his make his wings kind of like very comforting jackets for them
as much as he can with his wingspan and uh buddy you don't have to worry about me
it's like like but i always do miss veena and for you mr rahua and mr tannhauser mr baldrick
like you help help me get this far and i'm here to help you guys get all the way
let's go and ornamental help
push everyone
along the path
yeah you make your way i'm traveling further up this time the path much easier to send to
until you find yourselves at the entrance vast cave
i gotta zoom out that cave is so vast
it's really yellow in there yeah there is kind of like a warm glow inside
quickly follow the glow yep all right uh baldrick stepping in and he's got equipment at the ready in
case he has to go attack something again should baldrick give me a perception check okay i will
give you a perception
there you go
that'll be a 24. yeah as you enter here one thing you notice is they're tiny
not tiny they're like fist-sized globules of black rotten ichor on the ground they look to
have been shaken off from something that was exiting from deeper inside the cave to outside
watch your step it definitely looks like the exact same um substance you saw on the dragon you
recently thought
baldrick's gonna point out the uh the globules that are on the ground seems like this is
definitely the spot where it came from looks kind of like the gunk that was all over it when it
well it's closer don't step in it
i'm guessing that's the problem
i can't get it out of the way
That's the thing when you're just trekking rot anywhere.
You've got to tell me twice.
How miserable.
Let me see if I have a spell that could perhaps clear a path.
Or wait, Mr. Tannhauser.
Here, let's do this.
Ornambul enchants his staff with mossy weapon,
and he'll kind of stab the bit of the rot with the staff.
Yeah, it sizzles as you do, kind of receding,
and you can kind of use it, you know,
in sort of the pattern that, like, a blind man might walk with a stick,
sort of pacing it in front of you as it kind of causes the bubbles and whatnot to recede behind you.
Here, everybody.
Orn, well, make sure to enchant mossy weapon on everyone's stuff,
except for Tannhauser, because you have no weapon.
You're not allowed.
That's true.
I'm not allowed.
That's true.
I need my skeleton hand.
Thurston, is the rot, like, coming back in after Orin bats away at it?
No, this really just looks like it was shaken off by something exiting here.
Hey, Orin?
Yes, Mr. Ruhua?
I've already got moss on my pick here.
Would you be so kind as to enchant my hand?
Can I enchant unarmed?
Is that how that works?
Is that how that works?
Do fists count as weapons?
Well, yeah, sure.
I'll say in this case.
Why not?
Because you're made of wood.
And it would be whatever weapon that you're using as a fist thing.
If we cut off his hands, they would count as a weapon.
You'd need, like, hand wraps, and then we'd enchant the wraps, yeah.
That's true.
But if Thurston says it's okay, you enchant your hands.
Why did that take persistent damage?
Why did you take persistent damage?
Are you still persistent damage from last time?
Apparently?
I didn't touch anything, though.
It just did that.
It is the rod.
Neither did I.
One sec.
Let me just poop.
Hey, I've still got persistent damage on me.
Get this off me.
There you go.
It's off.
Excellent.
Thank you.
That was funny.
Sorry about that.
I don't know why the fuck that happened.
Regardless, Orin will help mossy weapon Ruhua's hands.
Be like, here you go, Mr. Ruhua.
Oh.
I can do shit.
I can do shit.
I can do so much with these now.
Thank you, Orin.
What is Ruhua doing with this newfound power?
Nothing yet, but I fear that we'll soon find out.
Oh, no.
Okay.
Orin, you lead the way deeper in, and you feel that there's,
there's, like, a warmth.
Not a heat, but, like, just a warmth within.
Not something like a furnace or anything,
but just, you're out of the, out of the frigid air.
Um.
There's, there's definitely something deeper in that's causing the cold not to be anywhere near as stinging.
Um.
And then you, you make a turn, and you see some of where this, this golden light from deeper within has been coming from.
Because what you see before you is a small mountain of coins and gold.
Gold?
Oh.
Um.
Gold?
You see what must be close to several thousand, uh, chunks of gold with a majority silver, um, base.
And then items strewn about, um, various items that you can see.
Uh, some vials, some, uh, some equipment, uh, books.
All, all manner of objects.
All manner of objects.
All manner of objects.
Oren would like to perception check it.
As he points to it, he's like,
look, everyone.
Right where the dragon's been keeping.
And as he, uh, wants to look.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna.
He'd also be like, hm.
Just make sure nothing's fishy about this.
Mhm.
Sure.
13.
Ritual of 34.
It looks like a dragon's treasure
hoard. Yippee! I screwed
McDuck and son.
Yeah, you hop
into this pile of coins.
As the family guy Skit does, you break all
of your bird bones.
No!
They're all at
odd angles now.
Happy, happy day!
Oh, buddy!
Everybody makes
that mistake at least once.
All right.
There's a lot of stuff in here.
There's only one responsible thing
to do.
Everyone,
take anything that isn't nailed
down. You got it.
I love stealing from
the dead. It's awesome.
And it's free. Baldrick,
who has no intention of getting involved in
treasure hunting, is
going to turn and watch the entrance
very carefully.
He's going to keep his eyes on a swivel,
thirsting preemptively.
Yeah, and to give a sense, this is like a
large sort of cavernous
chamber within with stalactites
and stalagmites around. This sort of big
pile in an open area,
enough to probably accommodate the
dragon you previously fought. And then
a snaking path that seems to
go further into it.
Well,
what we can probably do, because I don't think
we can carry all this, everyone, but
I'm sure we can bring the airship back.
Well,
that's true enough.
You think we could lower down
a pulley or something?
I've got a better idea.
And then Tenhouser says that, and then he
stands there silently
for fifty nine seconds.
Oh, OK, I was going to say, do you want to
make a do you want to make a willpower test
to see if you can tell them your idea,
Speaker?
Are you going to put all the gold in the cabin
and then make the cabin go away so that
all the gold's in the cabin next time?
That would be really funny.
I got I'll I'll do you one better.
Tenhouser stands there for fifty nine seconds
like this, and then he snaps
his fingers and I'm going to cast Planar
Palace.
OK, and and there is going to be
a steel door just
that descends from nowhere
inside of the cave.
It's the vault
unlocks.
And then I'm walking out
of the vault is going to be a fleet
of up to twenty five
revolutionaries, let's say
servants of the revolution
that will begin hauling and transporting all
of the gold and valuables
into the manner and sorting the.
OK. Damn.
Orrin's all wide eyed and star eyes like.
You are a wizard.
Everybody gets one.
I'm sorry, speaker.
There's something you have to do.
Yeah.
Okay.
What kind of song are the revolutionaries?
Like, what kind of oompa loompa bullshit are they doing as this is going on?
Because it needs a musical bit.
And I'll be remiss if we don't have something.
Sure, yeah.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Yeah, there's something in the international.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Do-do-do-do-do.
Are they all just, like, mini Tannhausers?
No.
They're Tannlings.
That term is cursed, and it's not allowed at my table ever again.
They are taking it all back to the Tannhaus.
Sir.
Sir.
Sir.
Now we just need Tannhauser on a royalty chair that's slowly rotating like it's a hand on a clock.
You could say this is a story all about how.
Oh, no.
Oren's like, why didn't you ever use this whenever we moved into Baldrick's house?
What?
well that wasn't
I was our house
young man
that's the people's slum
that was our house
the people's house
hey don't call it a slum
okay
the people's tenement
thank you if you're going to
abscond with my own damn house
at least be nice to it
I'm counting that as a personal victory because you took
umbrage with me calling it the people's tenement before
so that's a win
he's now acknowledged as our house
that's right hulky I got slightly
less annoyed because you
went from the shit heap to
the scum house
I think scum house is a great name
that's back top
I like that
once we are done in here
we can take refuge within my
tan house
they like to sing it
we taught them how to sing it
they're like humming this in the background
as you're giving your speech
and like tossing gold and satchels
and like sorting up all the coins
collecting all of the objects
I assume that one of them
is like got a
got a monocle and is clearly identifying
every you know item that's
coming through because at this point I
have no fucking interest in making you
sit there and identify every magic
item
understandable yeah there's there's the one
sorting through them there's
the few that are carrying them in
there's one that's sorting through gems
one that's sorting through books there's
another that's the political commissar
here to make sure that no one lapses
in their ideological education
um as necessary
in the vanguardist planar palace
I'm really surprised that
panhauser's palace takes the form of an actual
palace and not like a vast
unreasonable commune
it is no that's what it is
it's a giant industrial commune
it's made out of metal
so it's a brutalist cube
yeah it's a giant brutalist
like uh you know
it's like how um it's like
basically the kremlin you know how
it goes all right
the kremlin is
actually beautiful never mind
what am I thinking
of oh what's the
uh well anyway
it looks like uh how
all that harkonnen shit looks like in the
old uh
live action um
like uh strategy games
all those sets and interiors
oh I was hoping it was a
fucking
goo world like it is in the modern dune
hey welcome to goo world
hey dude
you know what you know what I'll just
let goo world pass because it's not the
the tandlings or whatever the fuck curse
term was earlier
earlier
thank you thank you I always win by uh by
process of illumination
yeah it's good it's a good strategy it's
a good strategy it works out it works out
um all right so the entire um
dragon's horde is collected and
catalogued into your personal space
dimension 10.
yeah what oh the tandlings
I don't know if we can get this saying it
again
I just can we get the tandlings they all
look like this and they all look at you
like this
like this
what are you linking this is just
what
away all the whimsy of this spell
yeah it's it's like yeah hell march is
playing
why give me a second why have you done
this
why there you go because
because tan has his revolutions
but they're all like they're all like
small
versions of this oh my god the worst
part is
worst part the worst part is I don't
even know
need to go to the the fucking wiki to
remember the siblings in that game were
like Gunsing and Kopec I think
yes it's Gunsing and Kopec you got it
yeah yeah yeah that and I hate myself
more for knowing that thank you very
much
and Gunsing kills the Baron by just
pouring a vial over his shitty fucking
like his fish bait or whatever it's a
good thing
I don't know what you're using for
noodle
oh and it kind of does look like an
oompa-loompa
which makes my prior comment way
fucking worse
and I like the idea you go in and like
all the interiors of a like
bolted in steel everywhere and like
there's
there's like one scary book guy like the
guy in the back with the gas mask that's
like watching everyone he's the one I did
and he's the one that's like identifying
the magic items
I thought wizards were supposed to be
whimsical it is whimsical these guys
they love it
what just looks at you and gives you
that that's the whole eye commie stare
I like that context
this is great this is the world you
you're all helping me man I really I
want to be that person
who like is going through twitch and
like it's like I'll check out what we're
doing you know what live ttrp she said
they just get that still
that fucking background
the dune fucking like
baron harkin it over our luscious and
gorgeous
avatars they're just just that they're
just scrolling through they see the
vagina cave then all the sudden
the dune movies this is the white king
of the dark
now I've ruined it for you all yeah
you've made this
this adventure you're canceled
get out of here
I think you killed thurston
okay I'm good I'm good I'm good um like I
assumed the door
fucking cuts to like I don't know
the toto end theme from the
glitch masterpiece of dune and it and
it lists everyone that tanhauser knows
in alphabetical order in alphabetical
order
there's a whole closing montage for
tanhauser's planner palace yes and it's
not like they're not all like by their
name sometimes they're like
the guy who closed the door
tea yeah it's a lot of teas
um yeah all right all right that was uh
that was the
the bit of speaker d cast a spell
we collect I'm not allowed to do that
anymore
I hope we collect that helped everyone
it helped me
that that helped me understand some
things
dude outset's gonna be so much better
when we get to set those giant oil
slicks on fire
uh-huh baldrick is uh contemplating
assassinating tan hauser so his
revelation fails
uh-huh
yeah but if you assassinate tanhauser
you'll never be able to access the
tanhauser palace
you'll get rid of your loot I think I
think tanhauser's brutalist harkonnen
barracks can uh subside into the dustbin
of history along with tanhauser after
I'm done with him
now listen all right we're just gonna
make like
outset look like that we're just gonna
make we're just listen you just need to
calm down we're just gonna make outset
worse it's okay we're making it better
we're making it better
scary guy comes in decides he doesn't
like how a city looks decides he's gonna
change it it's better now
okay
is purely architectural no problem
that's what he meant the whole time
just talking about architecture
he he just thinks that communism is a
style of art he wants to replace the
architecture with harkitecture
baldrick finally seeing tanhauser's
inner thoughts made manifest as a giant
gray slab populated by miserable looking
servants he's thinking
I should think about this a bit more
go away baby your committee
you're part of this conspiracy
I don't you're in the politburo now
I don't think that's gonna I don't think
that's as glowing a recommendation as you
think it is there were lots of people in
the politburo who did not like how it
operated why
that can't be I listen I watched death
of stalin they all were really funny
anyway
we get the gold
one spell cast later yeah I know
ten houses are screaming about why they
stopped the trains like uh the 1500 guy
guys I don't know how that happened huh
crazy
hard's like wow that was really cool
mr tanhauser
thank you oren don't worry we'll make
sure we can get a
uniform like that for you with little
slits for your wings
oh really
we can probably afford it now
oh my god I didn't even think about that
what are you thinking about me
did you
uh-oh
where's mine
we've got to kill you
everyone will get that evil share
I really should plan on killing him at
some point huh
it's in that pan house sir
oren kind of looks further on at the in
other side of the cave and he sees the
yeah
I think we need to save the world guys
let's go and then
now that we're done polluting which is
not the way
arm will begin clearing the way like
batting away rot and trying to clear a
path further down the cave
you can see that further in past this
chamber there is none of the rot
uh leftovers this seems
a far older less trodden path
we don't want to begin to get floods of
memories when he was much younger
I'm like oh I remembered it
and as you kind of
you know travel around
oh well
you do have a bunch of memories but as
you're traveling
through it or um one thing you notice
very very clearly
is
there are steps coming from behind you
now
and as you you hear them and sort of
slowly move to look
you see that coming in behind your
companions
is gorgamunker taking like
very very like with with a lot of
trepidation taking steps into this uh
into this space
you may not be able to see it but you
may remember this place gorgamunger
like I think you were barred up ahead at
least
I remember it was one of these chambers
I remember orin
I'm sorry remember this place
the only thing I'm thinking now is
orin's going
way-way-way-way-way-way-way-way-way
and gorgomunger's going way-way-way-way-way and gorgomunger's going way-way-way-way-way-way but that's not it
That's what he's sounding like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, you all hear, like, Gorgomonger has that same kind of deep voice
that you really hadn't heard since the departure from the Blazing City.
When he kind of turned around to stop the things pursuing you.
Yeah.
Ornambul.
Walked by Gorgomonger and be like,
You want to visit it together?
Yes.
Let us go further in.
And, like, kind of comes up beside you,
and you carry further into this area.
There's, like, a light glow on some of the walls here.
As you see this sort of greenish light
emanating from rocks, suffusing everything
with this sort of ambient color.
You've all seen these types of rocks before.
If you remember in the first session of, well, second session,
you fell into that temple underneath Outset,
and there were these types of glowing green crystalline formations.
These are the same types.
These are the same types of rocks in the elephant's foot.
So these crystals, they were from the very beginning of our adventure.
Yeah, the from that from that initial temple that you entered a long, long time ago.
I'm going to take a closer look at them.
Can I examine them potentially to understand more about their history?
I'm going to take a closer look at them. Can I examine them potentially to understand more about their history?
I'm going to take a closer look at them. Can I examine them potentially to understand more about their history?
Yeah, give me a nature check.
Ooh.
You can't even argue it because you said you wanted to investigate their nature.
I want to understand their nature, but you can understand something's nature
through perhaps, Arcannar cultism. What those were?
Not in this check, buddy.
Alright, fuck me, then. Let's go!
Plus three.
That's a natural one.
Well, fuck!
you know this
this fits
okay i choose
uncle spark
some echo of uncle blaze's power
lingering within the world spontaneously
flares up a small ball of fire
suddenly appears and explodes
causing a loud noise
something to catch on fire or something gets
some minor damage
this was uh submitted by
caker
thank you that's perfect
thank you caker uh yeah so you're
you're investigating like it's almost
as though your your brain
is is trying to process
this like you're staring at it so intently
trying to solve
the nature problem with arcana and occultism
so much that it causes
some of the circuits in your
your head to overheat
briefly um and then
there is like a crackle pop
as like a little spark flares out
but that spark is is augmented
by the sort of lingering
touch of old powers
that remains in this space
and actually ignite it's enough
to i don't know
i don't know it sets vena on fire
uh vena give me a willpower check
to see if you can make this turn
come on man
yeah that makes sense
all right all right
all right you know let me roll
this let me roll this
uh uh um willpower yeah i got this
it's only fair watch this
we'll say right oh why does it why do i succeed this one that's 37
yeah you you i am not have absolutely um no issues here um like in fact like anyone who
like gets temporarily caught on fire and can't like handle their shit
what kind of person would that be uh you're no that's crazy yeah yeah you're you're you're at high
level character a little fire stop nobody you pat it out immediately
oh jesus tanny
you still have no idea what these in fact no no you know what these rocks are
they're archiminium or it's a very precious or that you could make tens of thousands of gold
off of if you harvest it these are archiminium or
he's untied
oren
yeah how long has this place been so full and lush of archiminium
uh for for as long as all of us could remember really many many years
and you're not gaslighting me as a bit
no
all right hold on i gotta go i gotta one second
then i'm just gonna slink back to the tanhouser
okay
all right laborers and comrades
you guys got pickaxes
okay
the tantaloupas emerge again to like begin harvesting
no don't call them that
i'm not calling them tanlings i will die on that ill
um and they just start coming out and like using little pickaxes that the planner was working them into
palace presents all in the line with heck axes hi ho hi ho off the loot we go
like gorgomonger pauses it's just just sighs like let's out of her
what is the matter gorgomonger
i have been away from you so long
uh have you truly been reduced to this what do you mean
they are
simply crystals of illumination nothing more
aaron yeah
are you sure
sure that's our comedian
i don't know you're the one who figured it out okay you i asked you and you said with confidence
you said oh it's been here for generations no well the context of that situation was you figured it
out then you asked me if this has been here that that rock stuff been here for a long time and i
confirmed your answer implied it implied that you had called it mr tannhauser could you stop being
wrong in front of me
or one of these days
one of these days i'm not going to be kidding around anymore
one of these days i'm going to use the gun
one of these days listen here
you know what you know what can i roll a nature check to see
his sorry
as you make that nature check i'm gonna can i just gonna write down
today's date orim has wronged me yet again
exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point he's gonna
call off the tannerlings if uh gorgomonger's prognostication no no no no the tannerlings
what is this full house i'm gonna get you you can't be pleased
that's 11 for total of 34.
yeah they're glow rocks they they make a glow that's all they do yeah we just use these for
our lanterns and you know help illuminate a lot of our dwellings that's all it's used for
scream all right back every comrades back to the tent house oh man
that one's that one's deviating from the ideology
the political officer closes the door
staring at you as he does so with a with a deep
nod please master please don't destroy me he's not gonna hurt him
there's a single gunshot as soon as the door closes
i didn't think you'd put down a revolutionary like that tanny i didn't i i didn't put a
i'm sure they were just shooting guns recreationally i'll do a head count when i get back
and if there's only 23 i'm gonna have i'm gonna take care of that political
he was there to teach you guys didn't read
we've got this part of the adventure and none of you have read my book
we need someone to make sure they're reading orin raises a hand
yes orin when you meant consume the knowledge of this book would be eating some of the pages count
so
so
Does anyone want to read the book
today's date orin has wrong me yet
again
i'm gonna grab tan hauser by the shoulders
i'm gonna turn him around and i'm going to walk him further by
down the cave so orin can finish his moment with gorgubuck
you're gonna read the theory
sh sh sh sh it's okay tan is sh sh sh
he's yelling up the distance he's like go my hand mr gorgomar
Mr. Gorgomonger he just he just had greed in his eyes
you'll need to keep them in line make sure they don't stray you need strong friends
I mean that's why I have you Mr. Gorgomonger
lets out this kind of like just sort of dismissive
little snarl and then keeps walking deeper in
Oren follows all right
eventually you come to a new chamber this one is far larger than what you've seen
and what's impressive about it perhaps most
impressive it's the immense stone face upon the wall
as a looming stone face with with two lower mouths like noses mouth come out of the wall
at dis disordered angles and then there's just a large engraved stone face on the wall
you recognize this as the rookery area Oren where the eggs used to be kept instead now there is only
some small batch as well as the immense face staring down
see Gorgomonger this is where this is where you hatched
but it seems others haven't hatched yet
here in a good while this is born looking around uh I assume Oren will look as he looks around he
just sees like old remnants basically of shells and other yeah there's some there's some tattered
remnants um there are some tattered remnants that are kind of scattered about uh here destroyed egg
shells um
and essentially uh then the the sort of the the mouths themselves and then some like
thatch and hay there's a couple like objects discarded here like you know some some sticks
and walking like walking implements that were left here at some point in the in the distant past
Oren will walk further in into the chamber itself and
uh he'll kneel down at a spot that's kind of closer to the center of it and he'll kind of like
brush his hand over onto the floor itself and he'll notice very old but very dry blood spots
and he'll go here Margaret here yeah you were right here I remember and and Tina was there and
Carl was there and
I remember as well
But you're right it's true
And it's so long ago Gorgomonger
and with that um you see the mouth begin to slowly
most glacially the large face on the wall the lower mouth begins to descend and open
um
You have come here, why?
Well, the jolt, Orin turns to the stone face and like,
I don't think I've ever seen him talk before.
I didn't even know he could talk.
I have rested long.
Orin looks at Gorgomonger, then back to him.
He also looks back at his friends for kind of confirmation.
I'm just like, are we good?
As Orin then was like, we're looking to try to stop the rock corruption
as much as we can here.
And I'm told that there's something here that we need to help with the old gods.
They've currently been imprisoned and we need to find ways
to help.
We need to free them.
You seek a key?
Yeah.
The key leads to below.
But if you take it, there is a...
And the two other mouths kind of chirp open.
Sacrifice.
But what kind of sacrifice?
You must give so this place may thrive again.
Orin looks back at Tannhauser.
Can you get one of those little guys back here?
Yeah.
Come on now.
Listen to what it has to say.
But I don't want to lose any of you.
Orin, the writing has been on the wall here.
Surely you understand what it is that this thing wants.
Orin, like, looks around and then he looks at Gorgomonger and goes,
but we worked so hard to save him.
And we did save him.
And now, I think even Gorgomonger would agree that he's ready to let go.
He's been ready.
But the question is, if you are.
Orin looks at Gorgomonger and goes,
but we went so far and we found you and you were rotten.
And I traveled so long to try to find you.
So it's like, all right.
Are you not happy here, Gorgomonger?
Orin, I am not supposed to exist like this.
But it brought you back and...
Yes.
And I'm bound to you to endure your suffering
and live your existence.
Orin kind of looks down.
Not wanting the quiet part to be said out loud.
But I didn't want to lose you, Gorgomonger.
Orin, everything has a time that comes.
And goes, you have extended mine.
And I do appreciate that.
But can I be kept like this forever?
I do not think so.
Orin looks down and frowns.
But he kind of looks at his friends.
As if looking for validation.
Fina's just going to give him a smile and a nod.
She's the wreck.
You can tell him thank you.
And you'll see him again.
Thank you.
Orin will look back at Gorgomonger and...
And he'll basically, he'll walk up to him and, you know, give him, give him a hug.
As he begins to hold back, hold back his tears as he's basically going.
Well, he tries and he's at a loss for words.
As he's pretty much just letting the emotions go.
And as he begins to just repeat, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
And he continues to just say that to kind of let the tears go.
Orin, do not be sorry for me.
It will be fine.
My essence will depart.
But I will always be with you, my friend.
When you found me as a young dragon.
And then, after the horrors inflicted upon me,
you brought me back so we could have some time together.
But I cannot exist like this.
You know that, as do I.
You should not experience my pain.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Instead, we should look towards tomorrow.
You, though aren't destined any longer, I know you and your companions will go on to do great things.
But as I said, you have to keep them focused.
You have to keep your companions together.
No.
They rely on you.
Just like I relied on you, gorgomonger.
Oren will then stand over to his side.
His wooden hand on the back of Gorgomonger's neck, and he'll kind of look at him and go
like, okay...
He'll look up at the stone facing him, and he'll be like, I'm ready to fight you.
face and go
where's the path
and like in response
to the big stone face
the sort of section
jaw immediately
drops down
and it just has this wide
gaping mouth that's open
with like a path that leads
inside with a flaming
little light in the distance
Orin will look back at his friends as
he kind of like extends a hand out and like
goes like
could you guys come with me
of course
alright
I'll take his little hand
Baldrick will go with but he's not gonna
hold Orin's hand
he's only got so many
yeah he extends a foot
can you hold this
we just carry him
like a starfish
and with that Orin will begin to
with him and his friends
he'll begin to walk into the chamber
yeah absolutely
so as this sort of mouth
you know closes
you find yourself
momentarily in darkness
as all of you have sort of entered in
I assume that Rahua and Tannhaus
are joining in unless they
want to stay in the chamber
of course we're gonna help
now fuck you dude
he didn't read my book
I'm gonna go back to my Tannhaus
I'm out of here for this sad shit
and get out of here
ain't nobody out here killing the bourgeoisie
yeah
um
you make your way in
and as you do
what you find
is
this dark chamber
and you start stepping
further and further into it
and the walls take on this appearance
kind of like starlight
these little um
flecks of light
though upon inspection
they're just very very tiny crystals
that give this sort of appearance here
just little little little
flecks of light all along
and Gorgomonger's silhouette
sort of leads the way
Orin you behind
Veena holding your hand
I do not know
where this will take me friends
but I do know
that I have appreciated
our time together
I do know that
there is much
that you will accomplish
in the days ahead
and I am glad
to have met you
in my time
as agonized as I was
I am glad to have met you
in my time as agonized as I was
thank you for your camaraderie
aged one
aged one
aged one
rest now
rest now
I
am not quite as old
but I suppose
one may
one may assume that
I have known Orin
since I was young
since I was young
but regardless
soon
soon you shall have to
look after Orin as well
as I have asked him
to look after all of you
can you do that for me
can you do that for me
but of course
we're in this together
we're in this together
we can count on us
we can count on us
and to the end
we will sail
and to the end
we will sail
Horin
Horin
yeah
tell me a story
tell me a story
I guess as they are walking
through the cavern
and then Elyta going through
uh
One's forming in my head, sorry
As he's going through, he'll say
Have I told you about the tiny straw man?
Or straw boy?
No, tell me of that one
Well, once upon a time
There was a toy maker for the village
And he'd make toys of straw
He made representations of everyone in town
Old and all
But then one day, he made me one
That represented a life that was not there yet
It was a boy that he created
To be one for himself
And he made me one for him
And he made me one for him
But the creator was old
And so was his wife
One day, that creator fell
With his wife no longer in sight
So the boy had to run
And gather all the people around
Begging and pleading for someone to come around
And the only way that people could believe that
It was truly from the old man
And not an evil spirit come to steal all that they had
He brought them all the toys the man has made
And gave them all joy
And remembered all that he gave
But then all the people prowled around
Found the old man and the wife near their town
And so
They were able to save the old man
Finding that he was ill
All thanks to the little straw boy
That he created with his will
Hm
Do you know what happened to that boy?
Why?
I like to think he made a lot of friends, Gorgomonger.
And he was able to go on adventures and live happy lives.
Good.
That is something you will now need to do.
Make more friends, Orin.
Have adventures.
Remember me.
Remember the good times.
Sorry, I got...
And the bad.
Oh, fuck.
What are you doing?
Oh, no.
Remember me.
Sorry.
Oh, my god.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry.
I'm fucked up.
Hello, I'm Orin.
I remember Gorgomonger, so...
I'm sorry.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry.
I'm fucked up.
Hello, I'm Orin.
I remember Gorgomonger.
I remember Gorgomonger, so...
I'm so sorry.
It's what happened.
All right.
I know.
I know.
It's just...
It overtook me.
I apologize.
You're good.
You're good.
But Orin will nod.
And say, like, I'll do my best, Gorgomonger.
Well, from the adventures I've had so far, he'll kind of look back at his friends.
He'll be like...
Yeah.
I think I did a pretty good job.
I think you've done a great job, and will do many more.
Great job.
And his voice seems, like, very, very distant.
...
...
...
Oren will will squeeze uh kind of like the leaves and branch part of Gorgomunga on his back
uh just a little bit harder as he also squeezes Veena's hand and
reflex of him just tensing up like preparing for what's going to happen
and like through this like star lit cavern again the stars the tiny
pinpricks of crystal on the wall that each of you are seeing there is a light ahead
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
and
you carry on
and and as you get closer and closer to the light
you realize it's an aperture
and when you emerge from the aperture
you find yourself back in the room with the faces on the walls
the mouths closed
and you're like
I'm not going to do this
and you're going to keep going
and in here
the jaw set of this being grinding shut as the last of you emerge Gorgamunga nowhere to be seen
but
instead a clutch several dozen eggs scattered about the
but instead a clutch several dozen eggs scattered about the room
box
box
box
and
and
Auron just kind of let his hands fall
as he looks
down and just
just frowning
and as the
jaw fully
sets in the crumbling
crush of stone on stone
there's just this last
gasp of perhaps
air coming from the tunnel you just
emerged from a brief
way
way
Auron looks up
and the impassive stone face
no longer animate looks down
but Auron you do feel
something something
tight in your chest
um
you feel a purpose now
like something has
truly unlocked in you from this
experience your friend maybe go on
but somehow you know inside
yourself you've gained something
yeah
a key of sorts
Auron looks down and he
he tries to feel
on his chest does he still have
the old claw that Gorgomonger
had but he had one around his neck
yes the claw is
still there
he'll kind of grab it and hold
on to it
and then he'll look to his friends and go
wow
wow
wow
wow
wow
wow
wow
wow
wow I think we got it
Tannhauser
will put a metal hand on Auron's
shoulder
I am so proud of you Auron
I know this very well may have been one
of the most difficult things you've ever
had to do
but you have handled this with such
marvelous grace
you as he looks up at Tannhauser you'll see his eyes begin to well up and tears
begin to stream down again ago didn't want to give him up mr. Tannhauser I
didn't want to let go
I didn't want to give him up mr. Tannhauser I didn't want to let go
I didn't want to let go
I didn't want to let go
I didn't want to let go
the cold metal communist will embrace Auron in a hug to try and reassure him
Auron will hug Tannhauser back as he begins to cry
Auron will hug Tannhauser back as he begins to cry
and look on the bright side
and look on the bright side
and look on the bright side
and look on the bright side Tannhauser will reach down and grab one
Tannhauser will reach down and grab one
Tannhauser will reach down and grab one of the eggs
we can eat these
we can eat these
we can eat these thank you
thank you
thank you I knew it I knew you
I knew it I knew you
I knew it I knew you I was trying to find any way possible
I was trying to find any way possible
I was trying to find any way possible any way possible
any way possible
any way possible your jurors market zero
your jurors market zero
your jurors market zero
your jurors market zero
Or we'll just gingerly just take the egg away and put it in his poncho, like, like,
It's okay.
I'll get my ten of these.
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
He can't.
He can't.
He can't.
The moment.
I'll fucking kill you.
I'll fucking kill you.
Orin will break the embrace and go over to the clutch of eggs.
How big are these eggs for context?
I don't know, like, probably just over a foot tall.
They got size.
I would like to do a nature check on them.
They're like facehugger adjacent, you know?
Yeah.
I'll only do a nature check on them to see.
To see what eggs they are and to see if there's actually anything in them.
Please, please roll me a one.
Please.
Almost.
Seven for a total of 30.
Okay.
There, there's certainly some kind of, some kind of dragon.
You're not sure exactly which variety.
It's hard to tell.
Certainly they aren't.
If you got a one, the grizzly bears that you would have thought they were eggs.
Yeah.
But yeah, they're definitely dragon eggs.
Orin will sit in the middle of the eggs, obviously securing the one that Tannhauser wanted to
eat.
And he'll range them in a circle around him.
He'll sort of crouch down or kind of sit or sit down in the middle of them all.
And he'll.
He'll.
He'll.
He'll.
He'll begin to cast cloak of light.
Pretty much is emanating from him.
Like a warm naturey, just pretty much like radiant, like just warmness begins to come from him.
As B as he begins to just kind of like, like even holding one of them and rocking or so.
And he'll just begin to hum at them all.
Just doing his song.
Okay.
Looking, looking at you all.
It's like, and he's like, I think.
Remember when my mom.
Tongue to me.
And then I sung the Gorgomongers.
So hopefully it'll help them out.
And he begins to sing his old misty eye song.
So misty.
It's a whole.
It's a whole new day.
When will you come out and play tomorrow?
And just petting him on the eggs as he begins to sing it softer and softer more to himself.
As he just kind of takes care of the eggs a little bit.
Just give them a little bit of a chance.
There's like the briefest little shake of the egg.
To show that there is life inside and it's doing well, but certainly not ready to hatch anytime soon.
Why don't we take a rest here for the night?
Yeah.
I'll wait here, Miss Bina.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll wait right here with you.
We still got the camping supplies, right?
Not too spoiled by the cabin?
Yeah, we should definitely wait here.
You're going to head back to your fucking communist paradise, aren't you?
You're just going to step away because I know that fucking door lasts for the whole day.
So you're just...
You're just going to walk back to that, aren't you?
You're just going to let your friends stay in this little chamber.
And you're going to like back out slowly.
That's what a oligarch would do.
All right?
This is a revolutionary.
Tannhauser is a man of the peepo.
The peepo?
But he is really sad.
Because he's been looking forward to show everyone the inside of his cool communist Tannhauser.
And he was like, oh, they're going to love it.
They're going to love it so much.
Oh, God.
Then we cut.
Get over it.
I'm going to show you my house.
We cut to the inside.
They've got like party streamers and like a big like Captain Picard day.
Ready for everybody to come in.
I was hoping it would be that really low quality picture.
That really low quality painting of Captain Picard that shows up.
That is exactly what's happening right now.
It's it's your words to God's eyes.
Resident evil, evil streamers just welcome my friends.
Arne will look at Tannhauser and be like, you have a warm place for him.
You suppose it's warm enough in here?
This is where Gorgomonger hatched.
Or do you think that we'll need to take him with us?
We are kind of flying right into danger.
Arne looks at you as if communicating the answer.
OK, then what about the cabin?
I mean, it's got a little hearth and.
You know, I figure it's pretty warm in there.
Well.
Mr.
Tannhauser has all those helpers and stuff.
So if something does happen, at least they'll have someone to take care of them.
That's right.
We're just going to think about the like cold brutalism and the like.
Yeah, just inside, just fucking hell marches.
We want to die!
Die!
Ah!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!
So, um, let's try the cabin first.
OK.
I was thinking practical, but we want to put him in the cozy cabin.
I suppose we can't.
Well, Pigturn's there in the cozy cabin.
I ain't doing shit.
The spirit of Pigturn can babysit the eggs.
Oh, my God.
The spirit of Pigturn raises the dragon babies.
Oh, my.
now gather round little cats
it's fucked up
I think they'd turn out beautiful
Pink Turd is going to reincarnate as one of them
yeah let's have the ghost
of the dude who we mistreated
bullied and fucking murdered
we didn't bully him
whoa
no stop the tape
stop the fucking tape
rewind two and a half
fucking god damn seasons
or whatever
fucking like
I want a montage someone out there
go through rewatch all of season two
and montage the clip of
speaker going we didn't bully him
with literally every time you
bullied that poor little bastard
can we cut that clip to
it's a hard knock life from
please
please
are you listening I have your next
assignment
it's gonna be a long one
you're gonna have to rewatch
rewatch
rewatch
rewatch
all of season two easy
but I believe you
all of it
it's all gonna be worth it
mmhmm
excellent
Oren will agree
and ask Tannhauser
could you bring the cabin
the fuck you want the cabin
fuck
but it's so
it's really nice
in the house
Tannhauser
you know
we can put the eggs in the Tannhaus
if there is
is there a singular blanket
in the Tannhaus
of course there is
there is only one blanket
it's shared
it's a really comfy blanket
the people's blanket
is it
is one bed
you have to share it with
your inspector
is there just a wide
tannling that just sleeps over everybody
else
I think so
oh what
like a very wide one
he's built very wrong
it's all they can afford
because of you know
redistribution of wealth
and all that
I'm gonna
get that one with a big head
why don't you start casting the cabin Tanni
god damn you all
god damn you all
god damn you all
well you know what
I don't have it prepared
I don't have it prepared
oh I thought you were like a wizard
I'm gonna beat you
I thought you could sit down for 10 minutes
and prepare spells
who told you that
that sounds like something a wizard can do
you explained to us when you remembered you were a wizard
haha
people
didn't read my literature
fuck you
but I hate it
you didn't
you hate it
I consume the knowledge
like you don't
I mean do
I didn't tell you to read the book
you little chicken wing
Danny be nice to him
Danny be nice to him right now
I'll kill you
go sit and meditate
go sit and meditate right now
Thurston
you leave this boy alone
what is the hardness of
a speaker's mind palace
I want to see if I can take it out
with a coring charge
oh my god
40 feet wide
40
I think I can get this to you
by scrolling up
hold on
40 feet wide
40 feet deep
30 feet tall
it'll also be in your spellbook
you can just click the thing in it
I don't think it has a hardness
actually
no
no it's
it's
it's a spacious dwelling
with a single entrance
would you allow coring charges
to be strong enough
to collapse a small demiplane please
wait before we blow it up
what about the loot
no it's gone
illicit gains
speaker didn't
speaker didn't report
on his capital gains tax
so now that belongs to the government
fuck
I'm more interested that it's like
eight squares
eight squares wide
by eight
like eight
eight by eight squares
um
with 24 servants
okay
okay so there's a little bit of maneuvering room in here
okay that's pretty good
eight by eight is 64
yeah no it's really good
it's really good
that's okay
yeah
the
the
the tanlings have to sleep standing up I guess
okay it's a magnificent foyer
and numerous opulent chambers
they sleep sarcophagus style
speaker
it's the part of the room
it's the part of the room
it's the part of the room
it's the part of the room
it's the part of the room
it's the part of the matrix
where everyone's in the pond
that's how they grow
I want you to understand this
as written it says
it must fit within a space
40 feet wide
and 40 feet deep
and 30 feet tall
so it could be a magnificent foyer
with all kinds of little rooms
but the little rooms
are going to be like two by two
yep
I think
I think this is a
flavor failure
from Paizo
and I very much look forward
no it's just the
it's just the people
sarcophagi to the okay the palace should be maybe able to fit two large creatures
it can fit two large creatures it's 40 by 40 that's 64 total squares
nah this just looks like one of those how would you know he's not been inside it
i know how big it is because it says it in the rules i point at my screen
you haven't been there you don't know anyway i cast cozy cabin and i have
the tan tan touser minionlings uh go ahead and just make a nine course banquet for everybody
orin raises a hand watch this ain't orin you could you could cast the cozy cabin with the back door
that goes to the door
you could you could cast the cozy cabin with the back door
your utopia thing, and that means
we can visit it while we're in the cabin.
Couldn't we just cast the cabin inside
of the mansion?
Why don't we just go into the
mansion? It's bad.
It's not bad!
You're bad! Fuck you!
I prefer the
quaint cabin with pick, turn,
over, whatever the fuck harkening
bullshit you got going on.
There's a giant state!
You know what? Everyone follow me!
Alright, I'll show you how cozy...
Everyone, come into my...
We're going into my
tent house!
All right, great, welcome.
Okay, great. Tent house opens up
the metal vault door.
Alright, okay, welcome to the tent house.
Industrial spot.
All the gold spills out
over top of it.
It looks like a fucking storm drain in here.
One sec, one sec, one sec.
Harkening music
one hour in
into...
Yeah, okay, perfect, thank you.
Yeah, excellent, carry on.
Can I find the Harkonnen
Dune music real quick?
Oh, please, go ahead.
I'll find that and put it on for us.
Here, hold up.
Very good, very good, very good.
Hold on, I need an image to have
on my screen to get me into it.
Geedy,
Prime,
Prime,
Harkonnen,
base, music.
Let me see.
Okay, that's a movie, that's a movie.
Where's the video game?
Oh, come on, well.
This is for the Attorney General.
Oh, that's an ad.
Attorney General!
Attorney General!
That's for the Attorney General.
Here, here, here, I'll help you.
I'll help you.
Here's from Emperor Battle for Dune.
Okay?
Here it is, here it is.
Okay, awesome, thank you.
Thank you.
I'll take this link and I shall put it in here
and hope to God it works.
It does.
There you go.
I'm having a stroke.
There you go.
Cheers, me too.
Here's, here's your fucking-
How was Oren's emotional final arc?
Great, we learned a lot about the Harkonnen Palace.
Yeah, I call it Whiplash,
no one else calls it Whiplash.
We're fucking suck at this show.
Oh, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
Our tonal whiplash is, I think, a part of our charm.
That's why it works, right?
This is a solid, solid copper statue.
There's one of your guys up there with a guitar going...
We made out of solid, solid copper statue
of pig-turned-squelchfoot right here in the foyer
at this giant industrial, like, fucking palace.
Just like, bolted on metal and, like,
like, there's nice, stylish artwork but it's,
it's also, it's rather utilitarian, uh, military.
Like, they're expecting it to begin to get bombed at any second.
Let's go to the cabin.
We, we take a look at the statue and it looks like, uh,
the one that I'm putting in general right now.
Oh.
Ah.
Yes! Yes! A really, a really scary, a really scary bronze statue of Piktor!
Hold on, chat. It's really, really fucked up.
What the fuck is that?
Why do you have this?
Why?
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, I got it. I got it. I got it.
As it turns out, statues made of bronze for modern athletes tend to be really bad.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
Hold on. Oh my god. Oh my god.
What?
And look! Look, Auryn! I've even got this statue.
Veena, you'll appreciate this, Veena. Veena, you'll appreciate this.
This statue of the toy cat.
Captain!
And it looks like this.
No!
Not the Nathan Bedford Forrest statue from hell.
I'm getting it, chat. Don't worry. It takes me a minute.
Not only are you depicting Captain Sharktooth as Nathan Bedford Forrest, it's one of the worst statues of him.
Oh wait, I have Nemo for that one.
Bad forrest.
You have a Nemo?
Bad forrest.
I worked on these. I am conjured them from my imagination.
The total uplash has me crying for multiple reasons this session.
To grab the reins, Auryn will look around Tannhauser's lovely utopia that he refers to.
And he will go...
He turns around and leaves the door into the cabin.
Without saying a single word.
Veena's gonna help carry the eggs into the cabin.
She's gonna start setting up a little nest of pillows and blankets and such.
Oi.
Okay.
...
All Baldrick has to say is...
Oi.
And he's going to enter the cozy cabin.
Hi there, Mr. Baldrick. How's it going? Been a long time.
As the spectral image of Picturn Squelchfoot appears as you walk into the cozy cabin.
...
Baldrick stands at the door like an eerie haunt, like a fucking handless sleeve pointing out of the entryway of the cabin towards the grotesque bronze edifice that is made in Picturn's image.
And he just points at it while looking at Picturn.
And he's going to continue heading in.
Oh!
Picturn takes up the spot you were standing in, staring through into the other planar realm.
Seeing, I'm assuming Tannhauser's still in the palace, probably still by the statue.
Waving his arms furiously.
You know, that is a piece of art that exists. I'm very glad that there's all sorts of art out there.
For everybody.
Everybody's so creative.
To enjoy in their own ways.
Wow.
You really shouldn't have.
This...
This is, uh...
This is how we know that Tannhauser didn't go to college, because as you know, any communist that came from college got an art degree.
Fuck!
That's true!
Wow.
Damn.
Damn.
All right, I'm done beating up the speaker now.
I look forlornly at my art degree.
You wouldn't understand.
Okay, well, we're going to close this door because the machinery in there is awful loud.
You have a great day.
What the hell is that?
Why aren't you talking to me?
What?
It turns around just in time to see the closed door.
If only Picton were here.
.
All right, so gather round these eggs.
We'll have ourselves a good old-fashioned omelet.
That's a joke.
No.
I'm guessing these are important, aren't they?
Oh, this one, he's a little shaky.
This one?
This one's the hardest rock could be anything in there.
These are so beautiful.
Could you help look after them, Mr. Picton?
As Oren's like sitting in the pile of pillows with them all.
You want me to look after them?
Me?
If that's okay.
i'm just a spirit that's part of a magical spell that's in an interdimensional uh pocket dimension
that you know is not really pick turn squelch but i am just more of the spirit of him
embodied in this cabin but i can i can do my best i'd appreciate mr pick turn
all right you're this one hard as a rock you're called rocky all right we're gonna need some
chalk we're gonna need to rat these down
so now we gotta come up with names for every single baby go go go i'll make i'll let the
audience do it tell me in the comments below when the youtube version comes out just just say what
the things or should be called right in the comments below what socialist themed name you
want to give to each of the dragons
come on
you
i'm attacking you
oh i can't wait till you grow up lennon you're gonna do great things
gives you that one and tweakers there that one sentence you just said thirst and you
immediately caused my energy to bottom out instantaneously i feel like i just ran a marathon
beautiful wait a second i'm here for
picture and you're supposed to be dead
but i just i was just explaining i i kind of am uh but i'm more of a manifestation of the spirit
of picture and squelch foot who is definitely long and deceased but that that essence that you
you use to to conjure forth this little little pocket dimension little bit of me lives here so
i guess you could say you got a little bit of pick turn in your cabin pick turn don't worry i'll deal
with this where who would distract yourself and baldrick will toss him the wayfinder that's been
in his inventory since day one that does nothing but will distract him but
we're the one d4 okay on the four he's distracted damn it's a two
what am i supposed to do with this interesting i you know that's an atom that's used by the
pathfinder society but they don't exist in the world of time very strange that we got one of
them their wayfinder sir but that's fine that's fine it's just like in my inventory since the
start i have genuinely i was never prompted to talk about it it was just
for who it just shoves it into an empty space in his armor
god knows where i've how long i've been holding on to that
this isn't your home plane is it
that's why he wants to that's why he wants to blow up so we can go home
you're not from around here are you he wants to be isekai
so i can fix that
i don't want you fixing anything about me hold my finger i'm gonna pull you into a bad
situation we're already there great news you must be a wizard too i throw chalk at him i'm
just looking through my inventory now i've got too much crap in here he's just throwing things
what he doesn't need during uh during their fun altercations uh orange
he's just babying the eggs at this point but he's he he's gone at this point his head is down
he just for his entire adventure was to save his friend uh and he had to let him go he's
fucking depressed he's not having a good time so he's just trying to put whatever energy he can
into just like taking care of these eggs like holding one and just
kind of you know rocking one egg for a bit and then kind of rotating for another one you know
using his wings he's gonna keep some of them as warm even though they're all smothered in pillows
and blankets he's just doing his best and and as he kind of looks over at whoever will be nearest
to him uh he goes like after we rest i think i need we need to keep these here but i think i
should leave these with my mom
i think that'd be a great idea she raised you oran i think she did a pretty good job
thank you miss
rahul pick up the piece of chalk that oran threw at him and walk over to oran just plop down next
to him hmm wait did i say you threw it at me yeah oh damn damn my stupid brain yes well oran
also threw a chalk piece of chalk i think that'd be a great idea i think that'd be a great idea
piece of chalk i think that was more to eat either way for who will sit down next to oran
with the chalk in hand and take a little munch off of it and offer it to him as if to suggest
that maybe he should have a little bit more calcium in his diet too he takes a little bite
out of it
all right of course buddy
letting go is one of the hardest things
you know
for all the briefness of my little existence
looking back on how far we've come has been
full of no shortage of loss now has it remember who it looks at his party members
it's never easy
one day something's here and then it's gone
or somebody's gone and then it's gone and then it's gone and then it's gone and then it's gone
or somebody or somewhere
but
if there's any small solace
for as much of a fool as the world and fate may make of us
sometimes all that one can do is simply smile along
because for as many things go away as many buildings crumble to dust
from that same pile
from that same puddle of mud
and Rahua will extend his hand
crackling with a little bit of anarchic energy
and he's going to cast
soothing spring
as some dirt parts way
and a little bubbling spring of just warm enough water
begins to flow forth from the earth
sometimes good things
can come back around
and even lives
in some strange cosmic way will once again find their way together
maybe not in the same form as they were
but they will meet again
and
that
fate
is one of those few things
that even anarchy
dare not touch
this spring should be just warm enough to keep those little eggs warm
at least out here on the mountain
they shouldn't boil and I dare not say they're going to be poached
but it'll be a little bit easier than
sleeping over them or around them
I'm not sure if it's just me or the others
but it's not
I'm not sure if it's just me or the others
but it's not
I'm not sure if it's just me or the others
I'm not sure if it's just me or the others
I think they'll be okay
and he'll put the eggs in
and have them kind of like float and bob
and as you do so
the spirit of Pictern's squelch foot
kind of
not holds one egg
but sort of points one egg
oh and this one
this one here
I don't think it's going to hatch for a while
this one
it's named
Gorgon
Gorgon
Gorgon
like his mouth is open
like he's so smiling
like he's so clever
Arn will pat that egg
and go like
I think that's a great name Mr. Pictern
and he'll pat it
and go like
good luck Gorgon
it's two of the coolest people I know
that Arn will
that Arn will
will stand up
feeling safe
or feeling confident that the
uh
they are safe
and he will
look to everybody else
and he'll be like
I think
I think you need to go to sleep
I think you need to go to sleep
yeah and you will go upstairs of the cabin i assume this is a two-story or something
no it is not you all share a communal room in here but you can go to bed in here yeah he'll
he'll find a secluded corner and basically make like a blanket and pillow pile and just
sob in there it's just little sounds of crying as he eventually cries himself to sleep
do we have dirt and worms in the fridge
some for dinner
um all of you rustic and tannhauser who sleeps in the people's like factory um
you dream
you dream of
a faraway place
a city
a vast vast city ringed with a great wall that looms over everything nearby
everything nearby in this case being a
fetid swamp
and as you as you see the city in your mind's eye
the center of it explodes as a geezer of water bursts out and begins to fill
the entirety of the city in water drowning the people trapped in the walls that
are meant to protect them and now instead fill
essentially drown everyone and as you see this
you you have a brief semblance of a kick
and falling deep deep into darkness
and then you wake up back in the cabin the next morning with everyone else
oh
you
you
is
oh
something's not quite right
and as you you were looking around the cabin kind of getting getting a sense of things
one thing is is is immediate on the tip of your finger
is a single
moth that flutters
slightly.
You're
This is no dream.
You're back.
You're back.
Friends!
Friends, wake up!
We must move!
Wake up! Let's go! Let's go!
We have not
We have not time to waste.
We must get those eggs
back to Auron's mother. We must
return.
What happened?
You, uh, you dream something?
What is it now?
No, not a dream.
I thought that, no, but no.
Something, someone
far more is coming.
And I'm so,
so very excited.
You've all shared me with your families.
It's time.
It's time for you
to meet mine.
The king has come
back.
My father,
my creator,
my sister.
Holy
shit. Um,
you got a
being a, like, tap to the side
of her head, like, you got a vision?
Yes.
Apportant.
Although not, not a good
one. I feel, I feel he's trying to
to reach out to me, that some
immaterial bond.
Surely we are still connected from
when he rent me forth
from the firmament, from the primordial
chaos.
Okay. From the crucible.
Do you know where he is?
I do.
Where is he?
They're not going to like it.
Try me.
The city.
Outset, it's not, it's not
growing
taller to extend.
Span where I couldn't have known.
It's, I think it's a vast
cauldron.
One which every single soul
within is being cast into.
Uh.
Then.
Let's go meet your dad.
Damn it. No lollygagging then.
Come on, come on.
Ah, Baldrick is going to get up
and shake him off, shake himself more.
Awake and he's going to get his stuff
together.
Come on.
Pick turn.
Yep.
Could you watch over the eggs until we can
bring them back?
Yeah, they'll be here waiting for you.
No worries, friend.
And as you say that, Oren, you realize as
you've woken up and spoken to your friends
and now spoke to Pickturn, your wooden hand
has been holding on to something.
He looks down at it.
And in your hand, you see.
A stone, soapstone sculpture of a small
dragon held in your hands.
Awwww.
Widow.
He holds it to his chest.
Very close.
He looks at Tannhauser.
And he kind of like, with two hands, kind of opens
it and presents it to him and goes.
Could you please, Mr.
Tannhauser?
Very well, Tannhauser says from the horrible
industrial doorway, staring out with crossed hands,
having not been in any other old place since.
And as you, as you say that from your industrial
hellscape and you, you, you, you, you, you stand ready to
take it.
That's actually what we're going to call today's episode.
Yippee!
Yippee!
Yippee!
Woo!
Woo!
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
Also, just to make sure Jamie's going to,
Jamie made that art.
Yippee!
Yippee!
Yippee!
Yippee!
Yippee!
Thank you, Jamie.
Thank you, Jamie.
Yippee!
Yippee!
Wee!
Of course, we hope you really enjoyed this episode of Rock Grind.
We hope you guys absolutely love it.
But of course, if you want to see what happens next time with
what's going to be happening, because this is, remember the last season of Rock Grind.
Got to see how it all ends, see what the, see what the finalities may be.
Of course, if you want to see what that is, please find out everything that we know at
NarrativeDeclaration.com, how you can support us and remember the plushie is still out and
about if you want to pre-order that, but of course, if you're seeing this like far in
the future, then that plushie's like been long gone and probably in some landfill somewhere,
regardless.
No!
Thank you all so much for supporting us, supporting my friends here, everybody
else, because everything that you put in here helps pay for what you're doing.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you for everyone's time and things here.
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Narrative Declaration.
So love you guys very much.
Please go to our website, follow everyone's socials, see all their projects they're working on,
and we will see you next time.
So long and farewell.
Goodbye!
Goodbye!
Bye!
Goodbye, city!
He's making the dark city real.
I'm making it.