Brain Farts

Episode Notes: "When Conflict Becomes Your Superpower"

What We Discussed Sam Bayer's AGENT framework for turning workplace conflict into collaboration, featuring an AI chatbot that coaches you through real conflicts in real-time.
Key Insights
  • The four conflict styles: turtle (avoid), puppy (accommodate), lion (compete), collaboration
  • Why three out of four approaches damage relationships over time
  • "Conflict is actually an opportunity" - reframing difficult conversations
  • The hardest step: empathizing with people who are pissing you off
  • Interests vs. positions: focus on what people need, not what they're demanding
  • Why documentation matters: "tomorrow everyone's going to forget"
Real Scenarios We Explored
  • Engineering teams resisting AI adoption due to job security fears
  • Colleagues who "play turtle" and shut down during conflict
  • Board presidents refusing to collaborate due to ego concerns
  • VP conflicts over product priorities (existing vs. new customers)
  • Family dynamics when communication styles clash
The AGENT Framework
  • Awareness: Choose your response instead of reacting emotionally
  • Ground Yourself: Know your interests and your backup plan (BATNA)
  • Empathize: Think more about them than yourself (hardest step)
  • Negotiate: Focus on interests, not positions
  • Tie It Together: Write down what you agreed to
AI Coaching Element
  • Free chatbot available on ChatGPT (search "Sam Bayer")
  • Trained on conflict resolution research and real scenarios
  • Guides you through the framework step-by-step
  • Validated by practitioners: "those are the exact steps we're taking"
  • Limitations: can't replace human experience and judgment
Resources & Links
  • WinWinAgent.org - Sam's website and resources
  • Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument for assessment
  • AgileRTP meetup community for ongoing discussions
Questions for Reflection
  • Which animal are you in conflict? (turtle, puppy, lion, or collaborative?)
  • What would change if you saw your next workplace conflict as an opportunity?
  • How might documenting agreements prevent recurring conflicts in your team?
Practical Takeaways
  • Try the free AI chatbot on your next workplace conflict
  • Practice identifying interests vs. positions in disagreements
  • Create safe spaces for conflict conversations by lowering emotional stakes
  • Write down agreements to prevent "tomorrow everyone forgets"

Creators and Guests

Host
NotebookLM
Host
NotebookLM
Producer
Magnus Hedemark

What is Brain Farts?

Welcome to Brain Farts—a podcast by an AuDHD polymath who can’t stick to just one topic (on purpose). Each episode is a spontaneous burst of curiosity, deep dives, weird facts, and unexpected connections. No niche. No filter. Just high-quality mental detours.

Brain Farts: Puffs of knowledge from an overstimulated mind.