KBY Chayei Sarah 5786: “Love at first Sight”
Good Erev Shabbos my dear friends from beautiful Kerem B’Yavneh! As young kids, much of our early education was given to us by…Disney movies. Many of these enchanting stories featured a very specific plot point- “love at first sight”. We were told and shown that “true love” is one that is immediately evident. Love was a magical experience in which you knew who “the one” was right away. But what does Judaism, our rich and wise tradition, have to say on this topic?
There’s no better place to look than our parsha, Parshas Chayei Sarah, which is the first real “love story”, the story of Rivka and Yitzchak. “V’tisa Rivka es einehah vateirei es Yitzchak”- Rivka picks up her eyes, and sees Yitzchak, “V’teepol m’al hagimal”-  and she fell off the camel, seemingly in shock at the sight of her future husband (Bereishis 24:64). Though at first glance it seems to be a story of “love at first sight”, there is something deeper at play.
Because just a few pesukim later, the Torah says: “Vayeekach es Rivka vatihee lo l’eesha”- and Yitzchak took Rivka to be his wife, “V’yehavea”- and he loved her. Yitzchak first married Rivka, and then he loved her. But isn’t the order backwards? Aren’t you supposed to “fall in love” beforehand?! What about Snow White? What about Cinderella?!! 
Hashem, the creator of love and everything else that is good, is teaching us: If “Love” were apparent immediately, that would just be lust. To use a borrowed term- “true love”, is one that is worked on and developed, one that requires giving and commitment from both sides. Yitzchak first married Rivka, and then he loved her. 
“But she fell off the camel!”, I hear you saying, “Is that not love at first sight”? I would like to humbly suggest- In the previous passuk, Yitzchak went down “lasuach basadeh”- to converse in the field. Our Sages (Gemara Berachos 26b) teach us that at this moment, Yitzchak created the tefilah of Mincha. He was conversing; conversing, with God. It was this, not Yitzchak’s good looks, that attracted Rivka. It was the knowledge of his faith and righteousness that impressed her, not his physical features.
As R’ Daniel Kahlish puts it: The rest of the world are “reporters” of love- “I feel attraction”, they “feel” lust. However, we, the Jewish people, are not “reporters” of love; we are producers of love. To us, love is not an emotion that comes and goes, where just like two people can “fall in love”, we have seen far too many people “fall out of love”, separating once they don’t feel that initial lust and attraction anymore. To us, love is not a result of what the other person does for you, but the fruits of your “labor of love”, a result of giving to another person.
So this week, be a producer of love- focus on being a giver, showering those around you with sincere compliments, affection, and acts of kindness. Because that is True Love. I wish you all a beautiful Shabbos!