Show Notes
Transcrpt for Ep22:
Welcome to Be True, Be Happy, Be Yourself show, I'm Yuki Miyaki. In this episode, I will be sharing with you my personal story - I learned forgiveness from my marriage.
The topic I want to share with you today may be a bit heavy for some people. However, if you are willing to see that behind forgiveness is a gift of love and inspiration of life, I believe you will feel relieved. What is forgiveness? Many people have misconception a great distortion in the meaning interpretation of the word forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean accepting conceding defeat, nor does it mean that the other party has won, nor does it mean that it is a concession, it is none of the above. neither is it.
It was the same for me once. As long as I don't forgive the other person for a moment, the other person will be as painful as me. I thought that this method was punishing the other party, but it was actually punishing myself. Later, I discovered that forgiving this incident has nothing to do with the other party.
Before the start of the story, suppose you are facing betrayal in a relationship, will you choose to forgive or give up?
Perhaps, spend a lifetime with anger, resentment and "related incidents." Yes, I was talking about "related incidents", not the other party. I have experienced a relationship betrayal, betrayed by friends, betrayed by marriage. The trauma I suffered at that time was extreme and I was always emotional. Even, it once made me doubt the meaning of life.
I am innocent, aren’t I? I am a victim, am I not?
It’s not me who made the mistake, why should I forgive? Why? !
For so many nights, tears rolled down and I was in pain.
When an incident happens, we always put ourselves in the role of the victim and then indulge in it.
In fact, we all know that as long as you choose "I" as the victim, the "other" is the culprit perpetrator, and (use this #44
00:18 1:59pm)
"I" can naturally develop according to the plot, suffering, collapse, hatred, rupture, etc. and let it be staged. . The reason is that many people fall into this trap: "Since you have betrayed me, I won't let you be in peace".
I don't know am I am not sure if you, who are listening to the Podcast, are like me.
Holding grudges to some issues and feeling that you are the victim.
As I have been through this loop for many times, so gradually I found the reason behind it. Although, the whole process was full of countless struggles and pains, so many tears. Now that I have passed this path, I hope that with my experience, everyone can get out of this self-programming drama as soon as possible.
After spending a lot of days, I finally walked out of the victim role, and the power that allowed me to walk out of this role was forgiveness.
When I put myself in the role of a victim, I always live in fear, without power, without love. I only concentrate my strength on others. I really don't like this feeling. I feel powerless and helpless. I feel like a life without self-control.
I don't want to surrender my destiny to others, I want to be the master of my own life. After waking up from the drama in my mind, I knew that as long as I was alive, I could make choices for myself. I chose not to be a victim anymore, and chose to forgive this incident.
I told myself that I was brave enough to face what happened and I was willing to take this responsibility with my partner. When two people are together, no matter what happened, both is responsible. The red light of marriage is not one person's fault. Through the occurrence of this incident, I can see if there are some missing parts and room for mutual improvement. I began to understand the true meaning of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not for the other party, but for us.
What is forgiveness? Allow me to give you an understanding of forgiveness. Forgiveness is actually a gift. After precipitation and learning, I began to realize that God loves me, and I think it’s really great to be able to forgive.
Forgiveness is a gift.
Forgiveness is a choice.
Forgiveness is an opportunity to regenerate yourself.
Forgiving made me feel loved and light again. Forgiving gave me the power to be my own master.
Because I chose to complete this marriage and forgiveness homework, I moved towards a happy marriage, and later I also began to help other people how to start from forgiveness to a happy marriage.
1. A good friend once told me: "If you can overcome this challenge, there will be no more difficulties in your life. You can't pass it." I used this sentence as a motivation, I told myself, although I am very pain, although I am at a downturn in my life now, I believe that God loves me and everything happens for a reason.
2. Remember that this incident has nothing to do with the other party. Go back to your inner heart and return to your original intention. You will understand that if there is love in your heart, you will choose to forgive someone you love. You forgive and accept imperfections, because people always make mistakes.
3. Yes, the process is really not easy. Therefore, when I am emotional, I will try to avoid conflict with the other party. Because I don't want to hurt each other because of my emotions. So, I will choose to take a hot shower, or scream to the pillow to vent. (cut out the wrong part) I didn't evade or suppress my emotions. I bravely faced my own emotions. After the emotion is over, I will then communicate with the other party.
4. Forgiving does not mean forgetting, forgiving does not mean you agree, but you can forgive. I heard this sentence from my friends, and this sentence gave me strength. Let me understand the power of forgiveness and feel the gift behind forgiveness.
I did not give up this marriage, but chose love and forgiveness. When the idea of divorce kept coming to my mind, I asked myself if I still love this person. Of course, he is also very sincere as he admit his mistakes and beg for forgiveness. In the process of repairing this marriage relationship, we all relearn, rebuild trust, and reorganize our family. It is easy to give up, but giving each other, giving this marriage and family a chance, learning again, and rebuilding happiness is truly commendable.
I hope that through my story sharing, you can get more inspiration, gifts of life, and start create your own happiness life.
Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn and the links will be in the show notes.
I look forward to seeing you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you more stories about my life and how you can Be True, Be Happy and Be Yourself !