1 00:00:22,266 --> 00:00:23,466 On today's episode. 2 00:00:23,466 --> 00:00:26,566 Let's talk about staying in love. 3 00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:32,400 Okay. 4 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,900 So our great research department, a.k.a. 5 00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:37,000 Paige, came up with a great topic this week. 6 00:00:37,033 --> 00:00:39,766 I'm actually excited about it. I think it's actually pretty interesting. 7 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,300 You kind of just learned about it like 2 minutes ago. Yes. 8 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:44,366 No. No. 9 00:00:44,366 --> 00:00:48,300 Well, you learned about a week ago when we were going to record it, 10 00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:49,866 like I told you about it. 11 00:00:49,866 --> 00:00:52,400 Then we've all started not feeling well. 12 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,066 You were out of town for a couple days, 13 00:00:54,066 --> 00:00:56,966 and then we literally just pulled it up and I was like, Wait, what are we doing? 14 00:00:56,966 --> 00:00:59,333 So it's kind of fresh for both of us. You've never seen it? 15 00:00:59,333 --> 00:01:04,800 No. And I had to to renew it to my eyes once again. 16 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,000 Okay, so. 17 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,400 So what's interesting about this one is what can we do? 18 00:01:09,433 --> 00:01:13,766 When we were first engaged, even before we were engaged, were married. 19 00:01:13,933 --> 00:01:15,433 Say, before we were engaged? 20 00:01:15,433 --> 00:01:17,066 Yes. Holy cow. 21 00:01:17,066 --> 00:01:20,433 Could not stay away from me. Too much PDA. 22 00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:22,400 All of our 23 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,700 children and anyone around us will definitely say that. 24 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:29,133 Yes, absolutely. And it was. It was much. 25 00:01:29,266 --> 00:01:31,800 In fact, here's a funny story. Was this. 26 00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:34,233 This was on our honeymoon. 27 00:01:34,233 --> 00:01:37,533 And we were going to I don't know if it was like 28 00:01:37,566 --> 00:01:41,600 we were we were on our way to our way on our way there to the honeymoon. 29 00:01:41,633 --> 00:01:47,133 We were in the airport in line to ask the lady 30 00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:49,900 at the desk, at the United desk a question. 31 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:54,700 And we were waiting and we weren't like we were just like we were standing in line 32 00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:56,566 and we were sitting next each other and we, 33 00:01:56,566 --> 00:01:58,866 you know, we kissed and then we would talk and then we would kiss. 34 00:01:58,866 --> 00:02:00,900 And she got mad. 35 00:02:01,433 --> 00:02:02,533 Was it the lady at the desk? 36 00:02:02,533 --> 00:02:05,100 Yes, the lady behind us. No, it was the lady at the desk. 37 00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:09,300 It was the night she was like, Oh, my gosh, why don't you guys get a room? 38 00:02:09,333 --> 00:02:10,566 This is so inappropriate. 39 00:02:10,566 --> 00:02:15,966 And we were we were so taken aback because we were, like, doing a literally 40 00:02:15,966 --> 00:02:20,266 we were just we were kissing and hugging and hugging, but it wasn't like we were. 41 00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:23,466 Anyway, yeah, maybe that's why I have one case status. 42 00:02:24,133 --> 00:02:26,000 Why? Because I complained. 43 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,133 I didn't complain. No, we didn't complain. No, no. 44 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:29,266 Even though she was. She. 45 00:02:29,266 --> 00:02:32,066 She was really. She was really upset. She was really upset. 46 00:02:32,066 --> 00:02:35,100 So we were like, she needs a boyfriend or a girlfriend. 47 00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:36,600 Whatever she needs, she needs something. 48 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,366 But over time, that kind of slowly 49 00:02:40,366 --> 00:02:44,300 changes and things kind of fade. 50 00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:44,833 They do. 51 00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:47,600 And not just being affectionate with each other. 52 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:51,766 In fact, that's not even what this podcast is about. 53 00:02:51,766 --> 00:02:55,500 It's more about the things you say to each other and, 54 00:02:55,966 --> 00:02:59,966 and you you see each other when you're dating and when you're engaged 55 00:02:59,966 --> 00:03:01,500 and you're just feeling that new. 56 00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:04,100 And probably even the first maybe couple of years you're married, 57 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:06,433 you see each other through rose colored glasses, right? 58 00:03:06,433 --> 00:03:08,966 Everything they do is cute and funny. 59 00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:11,766 Right in my socks on the floor. 60 00:03:11,766 --> 00:03:12,200 Yeah. 61 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,533 I mean, yeah, that's each something so minor. 62 00:03:15,533 --> 00:03:16,266 But you're right. 63 00:03:16,266 --> 00:03:19,500 I mean, like, all those little things, like, oh, they chew too loud or they. 64 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:23,100 Whatever it is, I mean, like you think you did in the beginning, 65 00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:25,900 you thought it was cute and you thought it was, Oh, just a little quirk. 66 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,866 And a few years in, it's annoying and it's bugging you. 67 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,800 And why is it bugging you? Yeah, exactly. 68 00:03:33,233 --> 00:03:33,900 No, Why? 69 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:36,000 Why does that bug you? What? 70 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,500 But the little things I do. 71 00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,333 I didn't say that. 72 00:03:40,333 --> 00:03:41,433 I think in general. 73 00:03:41,433 --> 00:03:44,133 Oh, in general, Nothing. 74 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,833 Nothing that you do ever bothers you? 75 00:03:46,866 --> 00:03:48,600 No. Mm hmm. 76 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,166 Okay. But no, it's true. 77 00:03:50,166 --> 00:03:50,666 Like, 78 00:03:51,466 --> 00:03:54,400 over time, challenges occur, flaws emerge, 79 00:03:54,766 --> 00:03:57,966 the rose colored glasses come off, and reality sets in. 80 00:03:57,966 --> 00:03:58,700 Right? 81 00:03:58,933 --> 00:04:02,900 I think it sets in faster when you are in a blended family. 82 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,900 Much faster because you don't get that new. 83 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,300 Let's grow together. 84 00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:09,000 Let's start our family together. 85 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:14,300 You are just set into the middle of two families already formed, right? 86 00:04:14,300 --> 00:04:15,033 Yeah. 87 00:04:15,033 --> 00:04:19,800 So you don't you don't even get that that real newness with each other. 88 00:04:20,366 --> 00:04:22,400 So this is normal? 89 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,000 Oh, I think this is very normal. 90 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:28,766 I think this is very normal for the things that you once thought were cute 91 00:04:29,366 --> 00:04:33,533 and funny and quirky are normal, are now annoying 92 00:04:34,533 --> 00:04:38,533 and obnoxious and knock it off. 93 00:04:38,833 --> 00:04:43,533 So I wanted to talk about if you've been out of that new stage 94 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:46,533 for a while and you're feeling like 95 00:04:47,566 --> 00:04:49,533 everything he or she does 96 00:04:49,533 --> 00:04:52,900 bothers me, 97 00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:55,166 Let's talk about how to freshen things up. 98 00:04:56,233 --> 00:04:58,366 What do you think? Sounds good. Okay. 99 00:04:58,700 --> 00:04:59,033 All right. 100 00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:01,700 But we're going to be very specific on that. 101 00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:03,533 On what we can do to freshen things up. 102 00:05:03,533 --> 00:05:05,100 And the one thing we're going to talk about 103 00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:10,833 specifically are words You can say absolutely not. 104 00:05:10,833 --> 00:05:15,033 Things you do right, but words that you can say on a daily basis 105 00:05:15,033 --> 00:05:19,066 that will freshen things up and and keep things alive, 106 00:05:19,066 --> 00:05:22,400 because we could have several different episodes on things you could do. 107 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:23,366 Absolutely. 108 00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:25,866 But today we're only going to things you can say. 109 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:26,933 Yeah. Things you can. 110 00:05:26,933 --> 00:05:32,000 You can say, okay, so first one, you look great. 111 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,400 Now I have to say so a lot of these we're going to be really honest 112 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,066 with these things and we'll tell you what we're good at and what we're not good at. 113 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,633 You are fantastic at this one. 114 00:05:40,766 --> 00:05:42,766 Oh, thank you. So compliments 115 00:05:43,933 --> 00:05:45,600 mean a lot to your spouse 116 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,133 If you've been married for 40 years, we need to hear it. 117 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,966 I think women especially need to hear it, but many to hear it too. 118 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:57,300 But you, Darren, is very complimentary. 119 00:05:57,300 --> 00:05:58,133 Always. 120 00:05:58,133 --> 00:05:58,766 Not always. 121 00:05:58,766 --> 00:05:59,800 You do look great. 122 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,866 Well, I think I do appreciate that. 123 00:06:01,866 --> 00:06:05,700 But I do get mad if I, like, come in and swear to no makeup and my hair 124 00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:07,800 sticking up everywhere and you're like, Hey, beautiful. 125 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:12,300 I'm like, you know, I don't look beautiful right now, but so okay, so no patronize. 126 00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:16,333 So yes, for you guys out there, if your wife just woke up, 127 00:06:16,833 --> 00:06:21,866 has been sick for several days, kind of smell and then 128 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,466 the hair's everywhere and you know has bags 129 00:06:25,466 --> 00:06:28,666 don't realize going to her and say, oh, you look great. 130 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,600 Not a good thing to say. It's not. 131 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:34,200 Because then we wonder when you do tell us we look great and we feel great, 132 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,666 does he mean it or because he said it when we know we don't look great? 133 00:06:37,666 --> 00:06:43,866 So so mean it, but do complement each other? 134 00:06:43,866 --> 00:06:46,233 It means a lot. I really think it does. 135 00:06:46,266 --> 00:06:46,933 What do you think? 136 00:06:46,933 --> 00:06:57,700 No, I agree. 137 00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:59,733 Now there's a trap. 138 00:06:59,733 --> 00:07:01,866 Okay? It's that everyone knows this trap. 139 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,366 Does this dress make me look fat? 140 00:07:05,366 --> 00:07:08,366 Yeah. Trap. 141 00:07:08,366 --> 00:07:10,100 That's a trap. That's a trap. 142 00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:12,600 So there is no good and there's no good answer to that. 143 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,166 So to circumvent that trap from ever happening, 144 00:07:15,666 --> 00:07:19,100 tell your spouse they look great more often 145 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:22,866 than they don't have to ask for that compliment, because a lot of times you're 146 00:07:22,866 --> 00:07:23,800 saying, does this dress 147 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:26,166 make me look fat? 148 00:07:26,166 --> 00:07:28,300 They're looking for some kind of compliment. 149 00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:29,666 They're looking for validation 150 00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,833 that they look good or they feel they need that, right. 151 00:07:31,833 --> 00:07:33,266 They need that validation. 152 00:07:33,266 --> 00:07:37,000 Now, I also want your honest opinion and you do give it to me. 153 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,166 I'll try things on and I'll say, What do you think? 154 00:07:39,166 --> 00:07:40,700 And you'll say, You know what? That doesn't. 155 00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:42,566 You know, there's other dresses that look better on you. 156 00:07:42,566 --> 00:07:43,233 You do say that 157 00:07:43,233 --> 00:07:46,633 and it's not flattering on, you know, And I want that honest opinion. 158 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,200 I don't know why I do, though. That is true. 159 00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:50,900 So you've got to know your spouse. 160 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:52,500 You do you need to know your spouse. 161 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,466 And I want that from you. 162 00:07:54,466 --> 00:07:55,100 I do. 163 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:58,100 I don't want to wear something that doesn't look good on me. 164 00:07:58,100 --> 00:07:59,200 And maybe I think it looks good. 165 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,633 But if someone else doesn't think it looks, 166 00:08:00,633 --> 00:08:02,733 it actually just matters that you think it looks good, right? 167 00:08:02,866 --> 00:08:04,133 That's not true. 168 00:08:04,133 --> 00:08:05,400 That's not true. 169 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,500 That's what other people think. It looks good. 170 00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:07,833 All right. 171 00:08:07,833 --> 00:08:10,066 So compliments. Do it. Don't hold back. 172 00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,466 All right, next one. Thank you. 173 00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:14,200 Okay. 174 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:21,700 I think this is we're really good at this one, too, because we are both very aware 175 00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:27,000 that we don't want to take each other for granted or take things for granted. 176 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:27,600 What do you think? 177 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:28,566 I totally agree. 178 00:08:28,566 --> 00:08:31,833 And also, when you are saying thank you, it helps 179 00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:34,400 you realize that 180 00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:38,600 you appreciate the work that someone has done. Yes. 181 00:08:39,033 --> 00:08:39,666 Right. Yes. 182 00:08:39,666 --> 00:08:43,166 That you that you need that help in your life. 183 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:46,200 This this really shows that dependency 184 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:49,633 that you have on each other and really helps you grow closer together. 185 00:08:49,633 --> 00:08:52,200 So I like this one a lot. Here's a great example. 186 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,200 You came home last night very late. 187 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,000 You've been up for 20 hours. 188 00:08:57,266 --> 00:08:57,433 Yeah. 189 00:08:57,433 --> 00:09:00,600 You took a one day trip and you had gotten up at four. 190 00:09:00,633 --> 00:09:04,100 You got home at 11 and you walked in. 191 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:08,066 I was in bed and you went over and started changing your clothes. 192 00:09:08,333 --> 00:09:09,166 And you noticed that 193 00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:12,833 I had done the laundry and you said, Thank you so much for doing the laundry. 194 00:09:13,266 --> 00:09:15,666 Now, I really appreciate it. Yeah. 195 00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:18,266 So finding even those small little things. 196 00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:22,166 Well, the laundry was not a small thing, 197 00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:25,733 but the things that you would normally do, 198 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:27,766 which is one of the one of the roles that you have. 199 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,900 Yes. You do the laundry. Right. 200 00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:33,066 But when you say thank you, when I cook dinner, 201 00:09:33,366 --> 00:09:37,366 which I one of my roles is cooking dinner, it makes me want to do it again. 202 00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:42,966 And I always tell you how appreciative I am of your work and how much you 203 00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:48,266 do for our family financially, where I don't hold back that way. 204 00:09:48,266 --> 00:09:50,100 And always. Thank you. I appreciate that. 205 00:09:50,100 --> 00:09:53,033 Yeah, we're very we're very grateful for the things each other. 206 00:09:53,033 --> 00:09:54,233 So we're going to do this one. 207 00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:55,600 Yeah, we'll get this one. 208 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,133 But I think Please don't. 209 00:09:58,133 --> 00:09:58,933 We're perfect. 210 00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:01,800 Just you guys know, I was going to say, do you want one that 211 00:10:02,366 --> 00:10:05,000 I'm only putting this out for our listeners, 212 00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:07,700 One that you're not good at is it's not on here. 213 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,900 You're not great at saying please. 214 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:14,400 Well, hey, honey, if it's not on here, we're not supposed to talk about it. 215 00:10:14,466 --> 00:10:15,900 But I always say, you'll say something. 216 00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:17,833 I'll go. Please. 217 00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:23,333 So please stick to the script. 218 00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:26,966 It's not on the list, so we're not going to talk about it. 219 00:10:27,133 --> 00:10:28,833 Okey dokey. 220 00:10:28,833 --> 00:10:31,266 Thank you for reminding me that it's not on here. 221 00:10:31,533 --> 00:10:33,000 Oh, great. 222 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,466 All right. Obviously, I've got something to work on. 223 00:10:35,466 --> 00:10:36,433 All right, The next one. 224 00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,733 I think you're so amazing. 225 00:10:39,733 --> 00:10:43,966 So we sometimes think that our partner knows magically what 226 00:10:43,966 --> 00:10:48,566 we are thinking, and so we stop saying things like, I think you're great 227 00:10:48,566 --> 00:10:51,633 or I think you're wonderful, or I think you're amazing. 228 00:10:51,633 --> 00:10:55,100 And I think these are things that we need to tell each other. 229 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,700 And you don't have to use the word amazing. 230 00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:58,766 If you think that that's over the top, then don't use it. 231 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,400 That's not in your repertoire of words you would normally say. 232 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,900 Then, you know, I have to say, I think you're amazing. 233 00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:06,233 You say something like, Ooh, that's for your superpowers. 234 00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,866 Yeah. Or what you're really good at. 235 00:11:08,866 --> 00:11:11,033 Yeah, just say, that was really great. 236 00:11:11,033 --> 00:11:12,900 Whatever you want to come up with. But. 237 00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:15,066 But just keep telling them 238 00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:18,666 that you think that they're great. 239 00:11:19,466 --> 00:11:22,433 I find this one interesting because it affects your marriage 240 00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:25,566 in a profound way, because if you do this, 241 00:11:25,566 --> 00:11:29,033 then you're looking for things that your spouse is good at. 242 00:11:29,633 --> 00:11:33,200 Yeah, that excels at or is maybe hasn't 243 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,366 been good at, but is great at now or is progressing. 244 00:11:36,666 --> 00:11:39,300 And if you're pointing those things out and saying them, 245 00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:42,266 you're also recognizing how great you have it. 246 00:11:42,866 --> 00:11:44,933 Oh, I like to have a spouse like this. Yeah. 247 00:11:44,933 --> 00:11:48,300 So I think there's almost like a double, a double positive on this one. 248 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,266 Right. Okay. 249 00:11:50,466 --> 00:11:50,766 Okay. 250 00:11:50,766 --> 00:11:53,200 Now this next one I don't like at all. 251 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,566 I think this one's funny. 252 00:11:54,566 --> 00:11:55,966 I don't like this one. 253 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:58,566 I would never say this, and I would never want you to say this. 254 00:11:59,300 --> 00:11:59,866 Okay, Go ahead. 255 00:11:59,866 --> 00:12:01,200 I love you anyway, honey. 256 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:01,900 I love you. 257 00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:06,866 Anyway, a psychologist said that you're supposed to say I love you any 258 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:09,933 When your spouse makes it hard, 259 00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:13,500 it says when your spouse makes a mistake, it can be hard on both of you. 260 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:17,100 But what you say in the moment will have a lasting impact by saying, 261 00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:19,133 I love you anyway. 262 00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:21,733 It's telling them that it's okay to make a mistake. 263 00:12:21,733 --> 00:12:24,466 Boo Boo. 264 00:12:24,466 --> 00:12:26,566 I don't ever want me to make a mistake. 265 00:12:26,566 --> 00:12:29,933 No, you would want me to say when you do make a mistake 266 00:12:29,933 --> 00:12:32,000 or when I make a mistake, it's kind of condescending. 267 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,333 It is very gone. Is it? 268 00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:35,766 I love you anyway, honey. 269 00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:38,400 I love you any way. 270 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,266 Even if you. All right, So let's try. 271 00:12:40,266 --> 00:12:44,166 Let's turn this around to something better that you could say, because I think the 272 00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:48,966 I think the concept here is good in that your spouse does make mistakes. 273 00:12:48,966 --> 00:12:49,800 Absolutely. 274 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,166 And sometimes you need to point that out. 275 00:12:52,166 --> 00:12:54,166 Maybe you don't need to point that out. 276 00:12:54,166 --> 00:12:55,333 That's a good one. 277 00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:58,433 What what do we need to point out and what shouldn't we point out? 278 00:12:58,433 --> 00:13:00,000 What do we need to let go? 279 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,100 And I think you need to let go a lot of things unless you're. 280 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,800 Well, here's the thing. 281 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:09,600 If your spouse is really feeling awful about the mistake that they made, 282 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:13,666 then to me a different approach would be, I'm really sorry, honey. 283 00:13:14,633 --> 00:13:18,566 I'm really sorry that that happened. 284 00:13:18,566 --> 00:13:20,833 Now you're empathizing with them. 285 00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:25,333 You're not giving them a way out of, Hey, I made a huge mistake, man. 286 00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:27,300 That must be really tough to feel that way. 287 00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:29,500 Or some way of empathizing with them. 288 00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:32,100 Yeah, but little mistakes now. 289 00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:34,766 You don't need to pick it those. Yeah, and that's hard. 290 00:13:34,766 --> 00:13:36,466 And that's after you've been married a few years, 291 00:13:36,466 --> 00:13:39,200 you start to pick those things and we need to. 292 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,966 You have to really work at letting it go. 293 00:13:40,966 --> 00:13:43,100 But yeah, that I love you anyway. 294 00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:45,366 I think that I don't like that at all. 295 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:49,100 I if anyone has suggestions on a better way to say out ones 296 00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,566 that might be good, but don't pick the scab. 297 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:53,700 Don't pick this up. Yeah. 298 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,766 All right, there we go. 299 00:13:55,766 --> 00:13:58,133 So is that what you should say? 300 00:13:58,133 --> 00:13:59,766 Honey, I'm not going to pick the scab. 301 00:13:59,766 --> 00:14:02,966 Yeah, that'll be after. 302 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,300 I love you anyway. I'm not going to pick the scar code. 303 00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:06,200 Word will be scab. 304 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,033 I'll say scab, and you'll know that I love you anyway. 305 00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:09,866 Okay. 306 00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:10,166 All right. 307 00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:12,966 The next one, we'll get through it. 308 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,433 So I kind of like this one. 309 00:14:16,466 --> 00:14:17,266 Do you? 310 00:14:17,266 --> 00:14:17,633 I do. 311 00:14:17,633 --> 00:14:20,366 Because what you're saying is. Well, I would add to it. 312 00:14:20,366 --> 00:14:22,700 We'll get through it together. We can work. 313 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:24,800 We can beat this problem together. 314 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,066 We've talked about this on our podcast before. 315 00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:27,600 Yeah. 316 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,600 That it's you and I against the world, right? 317 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,033 It's saying we're a team. 318 00:14:32,033 --> 00:14:33,633 We're a team through it. Right? 319 00:14:33,633 --> 00:14:36,466 So if there's a problem that we're having in our relationship, 320 00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:39,933 we try and put it as the combatant. 321 00:14:39,933 --> 00:14:45,066 What we're trying to as a team tackle and write and resolve, right. 322 00:14:45,066 --> 00:14:47,333 And beat that conflict that we have. 323 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,833 Yeah, to me, I kind of like this one. 324 00:14:50,233 --> 00:14:50,700 I do too. 325 00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:52,700 I guess it's just just seeing it. 326 00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:54,866 We'll get through it like woo rah rah. 327 00:14:55,266 --> 00:14:57,266 Seems a little trite. 328 00:14:57,266 --> 00:14:58,700 I don't know, but. 329 00:14:58,800 --> 00:14:59,900 But yes, I understand. 330 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,333 You don't like those sports. 331 00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:03,333 You don't like those sports things, though. 332 00:15:03,533 --> 00:15:04,600 The rah rah rah. 333 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,400 Yeah. No, you don't. You know. You know you don't like a coach. 334 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,266 Come on, let's work harder. Let's go, team. Let's go. 335 00:15:10,266 --> 00:15:12,966 You don't want to seem little patronizing sometimes, but anyway. 336 00:15:12,966 --> 00:15:15,733 But I understand the concept. I understand what they're trying to say. 337 00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:17,566 So I understand that we'll get through it. 338 00:15:17,566 --> 00:15:18,800 I understand what they're trying to say. 339 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,900 We're a team. I'm on your side. 340 00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:21,700 All right? 341 00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:22,400 Like I get it. 342 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:22,800 I get it. 343 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:33,766 Okay. 344 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:34,633 All right, Next one. 345 00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:36,633 This one. I know you want me to say more. 346 00:15:37,533 --> 00:15:40,800 Yes, I'd love to. Yes. 347 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:44,466 So I think this is important, but there's a button. 348 00:15:44,533 --> 00:15:45,400 Okay, What's the vibe? 349 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:46,566 Well, okay, so. 350 00:15:46,566 --> 00:15:49,266 So the phrases. Yes. Are. That is so what this is saying is 351 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:51,366 being open 352 00:15:51,366 --> 00:15:54,600 to things that your spouse enjoys that maybe you don't. 353 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:55,600 That's what this is saying. 354 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:56,200 Oh, okay. 355 00:15:56,200 --> 00:16:00,266 I thought it was like, Honey, I need you to go get the Easter decorations. 356 00:16:00,266 --> 00:16:02,466 No, no, that's not what this is saying. 357 00:16:02,466 --> 00:16:04,833 I mean, yes, we could say that that's doing that, too. 358 00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:07,533 But instead of an eye rolling like an eye roll. Huh? 359 00:16:07,866 --> 00:16:11,900 But no, this is saying it's something that's not your thing, 360 00:16:12,833 --> 00:16:15,333 but you're showing your support, right? 361 00:16:15,733 --> 00:16:18,433 So I think that is really important. 362 00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:21,166 Like, but what? Like give me an example. 363 00:16:21,433 --> 00:16:25,866 Oh, like, if I want to go see a country concert. 364 00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:27,500 You hate country. 365 00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:28,766 Why would we do that? 366 00:16:28,766 --> 00:16:32,500 And you support me by buying tickets and stuff right now, I there's no 367 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,800 I don't know that there's any country band I'd want to go see either, but. 368 00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,900 But I know I get your point. 369 00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:39,700 Yeah, I'd love to. So you need to go beyond 370 00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:43,800 your comfort level. Yes. 371 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:44,433 Sometimes. 372 00:16:44,433 --> 00:16:46,500 And say, Yeah, hey, let's go do something different. 373 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,900 Let's go do something that you want, that you want to do. 374 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,433 Right now. 375 00:16:50,433 --> 00:16:53,000 I also feel like 376 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:58,333 it's okay to let your spouse do their own thing that you are interested in. 377 00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:00,866 That's okay too, So you've got to work on that. 378 00:17:00,866 --> 00:17:03,466 But if if you're feeling like, 379 00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,333 you know, you want your spouse to support you and, 380 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:10,333 you know, I really want you to go with me to do this, then talk to them about that. 381 00:17:10,533 --> 00:17:12,800 And, you know, hopefully they'll go with you. 382 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:14,433 Maybe not every time, right? 383 00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:17,366 Maybe not every time, but once or twice. 384 00:17:17,366 --> 00:17:20,066 Just support, you know, something that you like that you know, they don't. 385 00:17:20,366 --> 00:17:22,433 Well, an interest can change over the years. 386 00:17:22,433 --> 00:17:23,366 Best example. 387 00:17:23,366 --> 00:17:26,733 Sorry, Rachel and Russell, I'm calling you two out our kids. 388 00:17:27,866 --> 00:17:28,766 Rachel hated 389 00:17:28,766 --> 00:17:32,200 sports when she got married, and. 390 00:17:32,266 --> 00:17:35,333 But Russell loves sports and any sport. 391 00:17:35,333 --> 00:17:38,533 Russell loves watching, participating in anything. 392 00:17:38,533 --> 00:17:42,166 So Rachel started just watching sports with him. 393 00:17:42,166 --> 00:17:44,100 And then Rachel started loving sports. 394 00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:46,400 Now, I think Rachel likes it more than Russell. 395 00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:47,133 Yeah, Yeah. 396 00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,966 She used to just read a book while he watched the sports and it was fine. 397 00:17:50,233 --> 00:17:51,300 And now she loves them. 398 00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:53,633 So just, you know, you can change. 399 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,033 Yeah. Yeah, that's. That's good. The. 400 00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:57,200 All right, next one. 401 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,000 I understand. 402 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,966 See, now, this one actually, Waller's me, too. 403 00:18:01,966 --> 00:18:02,933 You know that this bothers. 404 00:18:02,933 --> 00:18:04,733 Yes, because it sounds patronizing. 405 00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:06,800 Oh, well, it does. Like. 406 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,300 So if I'm having. 407 00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:11,533 Okay, here's a good example. 408 00:18:11,533 --> 00:18:14,200 So say I'm having it's that time of the month 409 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:17,100 for me and I'm having cramps and I'm really in a bad mood. 410 00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:19,200 And you're like, Oh, sweetie, I understand. 411 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,300 No, you don't. You're not having cramps. 412 00:18:21,466 --> 00:18:22,833 It's not the time of the month for you. 413 00:18:22,833 --> 00:18:25,066 You've never had this. No, you don't. 414 00:18:25,066 --> 00:18:27,066 Okay, now, so what should I do? 415 00:18:27,066 --> 00:18:29,566 Not just hand you a box of chocolate? 416 00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:32,233 Yeah, Just be like, Hey, what can I do? 417 00:18:32,233 --> 00:18:33,800 What can I do to comfort you? 418 00:18:35,133 --> 00:18:35,933 You know, I'm. 419 00:18:35,933 --> 00:18:38,066 I'm here for you is fine, but I understand 420 00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:42,866 you don't always understand exactly what they're going through right now. 421 00:18:42,933 --> 00:18:43,766 I agree. 422 00:18:43,766 --> 00:18:46,333 Hey, this reminds me of the new movie Avatar. 423 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,800 What was the big word in there that says, I understand. 424 00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:52,866 I see you. You remember that in the movie? 425 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,333 She kept saying that. 426 00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:57,066 And at the end it was the big phrase. It's the big eyes. 427 00:18:57,066 --> 00:18:59,700 See you. Yes, It's all over The Bachelor right now. Right. 428 00:18:59,733 --> 00:19:02,366 I see you. Which means OZO. 429 00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:03,633 That's the key word. 430 00:19:03,633 --> 00:19:05,866 That's a key word on the Bachelor, right? Sees me. 431 00:19:05,866 --> 00:19:06,866 You see me? Yeah. 432 00:19:06,866 --> 00:19:12,666 Well, that that is what this really means, is I see what you're going through. 433 00:19:12,833 --> 00:19:14,100 I may not understand it. 434 00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:16,266 Yes, but I see what you're going through. 435 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:17,800 What can I do to help? Right? 436 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,966 So I don't necessarily think that you should say I understand, 437 00:19:20,966 --> 00:19:23,433 because you probably don't. 438 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,866 But there's better things to just. 439 00:19:25,866 --> 00:19:26,666 I hate. 440 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:27,833 What can I do for you? 441 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,733 Which actually is the next step. 442 00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:31,200 And what can I do for you? 443 00:19:32,533 --> 00:19:34,600 Yeah, what can I do for you? 444 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,100 I you know, I say this when you're sick. 445 00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:38,533 Absolutely. 446 00:19:38,533 --> 00:19:40,366 And I always get the same response. 447 00:19:40,366 --> 00:19:43,200 Nothing. 448 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:47,133 Well, sometimes you can't do anything when someone's sick. 449 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:48,800 Have a right. 450 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:52,200 But it's okay to say, Yeah, I really need soup 451 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,600 or I really need medicine or I really need something. 452 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,633 Otherwise on my side, what can I do for you? 453 00:19:57,633 --> 00:19:59,433 I'm really honestly saying, Hey, what. 454 00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:01,033 What can I do to help you go? 455 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,933 Oh, nothing. That kind of shuts me down too. 456 00:20:03,933 --> 00:20:06,200 I can't help you. I want to take care of you. 457 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,033 I know you do. You always want to take care. 458 00:20:08,033 --> 00:20:09,933 I think most people want to take care of their spouse. 459 00:20:09,933 --> 00:20:12,733 And a lot of times there really is nothing that you can do, though. 460 00:20:13,466 --> 00:20:15,600 But the. 461 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,333 It's appreciated that you ask, 462 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:18,600 right? 463 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:19,800 Yeah, I guess so. 464 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:23,800 But I guess another thing that you can do on this is look around. 465 00:20:25,133 --> 00:20:27,833 Is there something obvious that you could do to help out? 466 00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:30,233 Okay. My gosh. Yeah. 467 00:20:30,233 --> 00:20:30,466 All right. 468 00:20:30,466 --> 00:20:31,933 The next one. I'm here for you, 469 00:20:31,933 --> 00:20:35,133 which I already mentioned to you instead of I understand, right? 470 00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:37,500 Just remind your spouse that they can count on you. 471 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,466 I've got your back, right? 472 00:20:39,466 --> 00:20:41,700 That we're going through this together. I'm here for you. 473 00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:42,900 So that's a good one. 474 00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:43,300 Okay. 475 00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:45,800 Like I said, these all seem a little cheesy to me. 476 00:20:45,833 --> 00:20:47,766 I'm not into the cheese factor. 477 00:20:47,766 --> 00:20:52,600 I'm here for you, but I'm going to use that one on you. 478 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:56,033 There's different ways you can say that without just saying, I'm here. 479 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:57,600 I'm here for you. 480 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:58,500 I understand. 481 00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:01,533 And I'm here for you. Any hope? 482 00:21:03,766 --> 00:21:05,166 If there's any marriage counselors 483 00:21:05,166 --> 00:21:08,533 listening today, Paige, 484 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,266 or if any of you are seeing a marriage counselor, 485 00:21:12,900 --> 00:21:15,300 you should have them listen to this episode, because, 486 00:21:15,533 --> 00:21:18,666 like Paige, she's completely destroyed their whole toolbox. 487 00:21:19,333 --> 00:21:22,466 Well, there's just other ways you can say these things and just. 488 00:21:22,466 --> 00:21:24,766 I'm here for you. Okay, last one. And I love this one. 489 00:21:24,766 --> 00:21:26,466 And we say this one all the time. 490 00:21:26,466 --> 00:21:29,366 She almo I love you. 491 00:21:30,733 --> 00:21:32,733 Three simple words. Yep. 492 00:21:32,733 --> 00:21:34,533 I think these are important. 493 00:21:34,533 --> 00:21:36,300 I don't think you could say it too much. 494 00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:37,800 I don't think it's overused. 495 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,233 That's just my opinion. 496 00:21:40,233 --> 00:21:42,966 Well, you know, this reminds me of the movie Moonstruck. 497 00:21:42,966 --> 00:21:44,766 Do you remember the movie Moonstruck? 498 00:21:44,766 --> 00:21:46,633 I do, but not specifically. 499 00:21:46,633 --> 00:21:48,666 Yeah, that's what's funny about you. 500 00:21:48,666 --> 00:21:49,800 Remember all the movies. 501 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,233 But there's a line in there. It's the. 502 00:21:52,233 --> 00:21:53,733 It's the dad. 503 00:21:53,733 --> 00:21:56,600 He won't say I love you to is to his wife. 504 00:21:56,666 --> 00:21:57,133 Okay? 505 00:21:57,133 --> 00:22:00,933 He'll say it in Italian, but he won't say it in English, okay? 506 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,700 Until things kind of fall apart. 507 00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:05,533 And then he finally does, which is really sad. 508 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,833 That is really sad. I think that 509 00:22:08,933 --> 00:22:10,666 saying I love you, 510 00:22:10,666 --> 00:22:12,733 it just even if you're mad 511 00:22:13,233 --> 00:22:15,266 at your spouse, hearing that 512 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,733 like hearing them say that it does, it kind of. 513 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,766 So if we're yelling at each other, I can say I love you. 514 00:22:22,900 --> 00:22:25,266 Sure. Give it a shot. Try. 515 00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:39,400 I got to figure out what we're going to argue about so we can do this. 516 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:39,800 All right? 517 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:43,200 So don't let a day pass without saying loving things to your partner. 518 00:22:44,066 --> 00:22:46,133 The reason I picked this is because 519 00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:51,033 I think when you're talking nice to each other, it 520 00:22:51,233 --> 00:22:54,466 that bleeds into maybe putting those rose 521 00:22:54,466 --> 00:22:58,200 colored glasses back on it can bleed into other things in your life. 522 00:22:58,466 --> 00:23:02,100 If you're talking nice to each other, then I think that can 523 00:23:03,466 --> 00:23:05,966 permeate into all aspects of your relations. 524 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:06,800 I think you hit it. 525 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,166 I think you hit the main point 526 00:23:08,166 --> 00:23:11,466 of all these phrases is are you talking nice to your spouse? 527 00:23:11,466 --> 00:23:12,000 Right? 528 00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:14,166 Are you talking nice about your spouse? 529 00:23:14,166 --> 00:23:17,233 Yeah. Familiarity breeds contempt. 530 00:23:17,233 --> 00:23:18,900 I really hate that phrase. 531 00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:23,700 I you know, I do bring it up because I think it is true when I think we 532 00:23:23,933 --> 00:23:27,333 sometimes treat the people we love the most, the worst. 533 00:23:27,866 --> 00:23:30,266 And that's what that that's what that scene means, Right. 534 00:23:30,333 --> 00:23:32,200 I know. I think I think it's a horrible saying. 535 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,333 It is, but it's a lot of the times it's true. 536 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:37,333 Let's make it not true. 537 00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:39,300 Well, I agree with you there. Yes. 538 00:23:39,300 --> 00:23:43,500 I really think familiarity should really deep in your love for each other. 539 00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:48,433 And I think put the rose colored glasses back on and say, 540 00:23:48,666 --> 00:23:52,500 what are the great things about my spouse that I just totally adore? 541 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:54,800 And, you know, we love we've talked about this before. 542 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:58,666 If you want to find the flaws in your spouse. 543 00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:01,733 Oh, it's real easy to find. 544 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,600 We all have flaws. You are not speaking from experience. 545 00:24:04,700 --> 00:24:06,700 No, not at all. 546 00:24:06,700 --> 00:24:09,000 Just books that I've read, movies I've watched. 547 00:24:09,533 --> 00:24:12,066 But we can You can find them. 548 00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:14,400 You can find them. It's not hard. 549 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:15,700 But don't look for them. 550 00:24:15,700 --> 00:24:18,000 Don't look for them. Look for the good things. 551 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,466 I think your spouse already knows what their flaws are. 552 00:24:20,466 --> 00:24:21,833 They don't know, of course. 553 00:24:21,833 --> 00:24:24,800 And and, you know, this goes into 554 00:24:25,566 --> 00:24:28,666 kind of my philosophy on actually teaching children as well. 555 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:32,866 If you focus only on their weaknesses, 556 00:24:32,866 --> 00:24:38,866 that will be the focus of their self-worth is their weaknesses. 557 00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:43,200 If you focus on their strengths, it's amazing what those strengths 558 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:47,500 will overcome their weaknesses just by overwhelming their weaknesses. 559 00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:51,500 The best example I have of this is with my oldest 560 00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:55,366 son, Matthew, who was growing up. 561 00:24:55,366 --> 00:24:57,533 One of his weaknesses was mathematics. 562 00:24:57,533 --> 00:24:58,666 He hated it. 563 00:24:58,666 --> 00:24:59,166 He wouldn't. 564 00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:00,400 And we've worked on it. 565 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:00,733 We were. 566 00:25:00,733 --> 00:25:02,400 Oh, it was awful. 567 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,066 And we worked really hard on it. 568 00:25:04,066 --> 00:25:06,166 And he just became more and more frustrated. 569 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,900 And finally I said, Forget it. 570 00:25:08,900 --> 00:25:11,033 He loved to read and he could read anything. 571 00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:12,366 So what did we do? 572 00:25:12,366 --> 00:25:15,000 We bought him books about the history of mathematics. 573 00:25:15,900 --> 00:25:17,633 And guess what? 574 00:25:17,633 --> 00:25:22,500 He devoured those books and he started to use that reading talent that he had. 575 00:25:22,500 --> 00:25:25,400 His strength overcame math. 576 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,666 Is he a incredible mathematician now? 577 00:25:27,666 --> 00:25:29,700 No, he's not. But 578 00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:32,566 that strength that he had to 579 00:25:32,566 --> 00:25:36,533 consume literature and read and things like that 580 00:25:36,866 --> 00:25:39,200 completely overwhelmed 581 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:42,500 his deficits that he had in math. 582 00:25:42,633 --> 00:25:45,566 I think the same thing's true in our marriage. 583 00:25:45,566 --> 00:25:48,000 I think if we focus on the strengths of our spouse, 584 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:53,433 it will overshadow the small we weaknesses and flaws in their character 585 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:57,266 or in their or in in every aspect of their life. 586 00:25:58,300 --> 00:26:00,066 All right. Did I get off my soapbox? 587 00:26:00,066 --> 00:26:01,766 Are you all bored? Mm hmm. 588 00:26:01,766 --> 00:26:04,600 I figured as much time 589 00:26:15,566 --> 00:26:18,333 are eliminated, Member of the week has to do with weather again. 590 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:23,333 Snow at a swim meet of all places. 591 00:26:23,333 --> 00:26:26,700 The first time we've had snow in 12 years in Folsom. 592 00:26:27,700 --> 00:26:28,966 I don't even know that it was snow. 593 00:26:28,966 --> 00:26:32,633 It was sleet. It was. It was horrible. 594 00:26:32,666 --> 00:26:36,133 Here's what you might have in snow for like a minute or two. 595 00:26:36,966 --> 00:26:41,600 But when you're at a swim meet, you don't expect it to be snowing. 596 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,200 But that's what happened to us. 597 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,100 We went to David's swim meet and it snowed. 598 00:26:46,100 --> 00:26:48,566 It was that was pretty much lemons. 599 00:26:48,566 --> 00:26:50,233 Was there any lemonade from it? 600 00:26:50,233 --> 00:26:52,066 I mean, just getting to support him. 601 00:26:52,066 --> 00:26:53,100 But it was freezing. 602 00:26:53,100 --> 00:26:54,500 It was freezing. 603 00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:56,600 And the kids will remember that the rest of their lives. 604 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:57,833 So that was kind of cool.