Welcome to the commons cast. We're glad to have you here. We hope you find something meaningful in our teaching this week. Head to commons.church for more information.

The fun of New Year's Eve and New Year's Day has subsided. Personally, my family went to bed early, and I spent the evening watching this fascinating video about how cardboard boxes are made. That's not a joke. It's really what I did, and it was awesome. But now we're sort of through the holidays, and we've reached That point in the year where we're trying to remember to write 2023 on things, and that means that perhaps it's time To do more than make our resolutions, it's actually time to begin to do the work on the people that we want to become this year.

Now in the past at commons, We have often taken January to do a series about our relationships. We've talked about friendships, and we've talked about forgiveness, and we've talked about sexuality. This year, we wanna back up the train just a little bit, and we wanna start the year with a conversation about curiosity. We wanna wonder together about what could be possible if we did more than just define each other by categories and camps and assumptions and stereotypes, and we actually engaged the hard work of getting to know each other. Now granted, that has become increasingly difficult In a world of fractured politics and Twitter buyouts and family dividing opinions, but I do still think that curiosity is a discipline that can serve us well if we learn how to harness it.

So let's pray, and then we're gonna jump right into this conversation today. A curious god who surprises us with an infinite ability to look again with grace filled eyes, to see what has changed in us and around us, to take us as we are in this moment, unencumbered by past mistakes. We begin today with the assurance that you are always curious about us, willing to listen to us, motivated to come and to find us. And might we truly trust today that your love for us is not contingent on anything we have done to earn it in this moment. But on your continued imagination, for everything that we might become once transformed by your love, And then, right, this divine instinct to believe in what could be, we orient us toward what is possible in each other.

Help us to love ourselves the way you first loved us. Help us to love our neighbors in the way they deserve to be loved. Help us to be intrigued by the unknown person we encounter this week, trusting that there is always more to tell and always more to discover. Might we come to believe that perhaps our next great friendship lies on the other side of a holy curiosity. We love this year as freely and as openly as you have demonstrated for us.

In the strong name of the risen Christ, we pray. Amen. Today, we begin a conversation about curiosity, but we want to begin that conversation in a lot of ways by turning that curiosity back toward ourselves. What happens when we grow and change as people? How does that impact our relationships and our assumptions about those we encounter, and How do we continue to learn and become something new even as we foster grace for our past selves and who we are becoming?

So lots on the agenda today. Next week, we're gonna take this conversation, and we're gonna move into, talking about how we listen well. And then we'll wrap up the series in 2 weeks by talking about the movement from curiosity to intimacy to vulnerability. But today, It's tell me more, heuristic machines, all of the Jesuses, and grace for ourselves. But I wanna begin today with this series title, tell me more.

And, actually, that's a phrase that I have been working intentionally To weave into my vocabulary with more regularity, I have a very close friend who will say this to me a lot. I will offer something in conversation, and he will say back, tell me more about that. Now sometimes, to be honest, it's a little annoying. Sometimes I just wanna make a comment without the need to reveal anything deep and pressing about myself. So if you're gonna use this, pick your spots.

Not everything is a tell me more moment, but I do really like the exercise. And I like the practice of reminding myself to be curious About what someone is offering me. Here's the thing. Every time someone shares something of themself with you, Even something that might seem insignificant, they are offering a piece of themself to you. And whether they even realize it consciously or not, They are, at some level, testing to see if you are a safe recipient for more of themself.

And there's a lot of ways that you signal that safety. Now with your eyes and with your body posture, when you lean in or you back away and fold your arms, But tell me more has become a bit of a mantra for me to remind me to be curious, a recipient for what someone is offering to me. Now I don't always say it out loud because it can be annoying when it feels like you're trying to drag something out of someone, but often, I will just say it in my head To myself as a cue to get those active listening skills going. Here's what I found really interesting, though. It has become a far less professional skill than I first imagined.

I mean, maybe you hear me say this, and you're like, yeah. Okay. That makes sense for a pastor to say that's kind of a job. That's kinda true. But, actually, the place that this mantra has had the most impact or at least the place where I have become the most committed to using it is with my partner and particularly with my son who is now 9 years old.

See, I don't know about you, but often, I come home at the end of a day, and I've been writing this sermon all day or have been in meetings all day, and I am not feeling particularly curious anymore, which is not a great pairing with a 9 year old son who is already not predisposed to telling me all about his day either. And so when he starts going off about Minecraft, I can say, tell me more, because it reminds me to be curious about him even though I could not care less about Minecraft. My hope, though, Is that over time, it will reinforce to my son that I am a safe space for anything that fascinates him, even Minecraft and maybe even the things the treble hand. But this is what I wanna suggest today, that all of this is more than just parenting tips and tricks. There is actually a holy practice of divine curiosity, one that all of us can work on.

See, as human beings, we are heuristic machines. In fact, every day, every moment, you are taking in more information than you can possibly deal with. For example, your eyes see all kinds of things that your brain will just completely ignore as irrelevant. Most illusions are built off of this premise. Your brain will jump to conclusions based on past Experience and override what your visual cortex is telling you.

If the information coming in doesn't match existing models, it gets discarded. And that's a feature of how our brain works. It's not a bug. Evolutionarily, it just doesn't make sense to spend a lot of calories on processing horsepower when certain assumptions will be right 99.9% of the time. Now that's kinda neat when it comes to optical illusions, but it's also why we tend to prefer small, tightly knit in groups with very clearly defined borders.

It's why we depend on stereotypes to jump to very quick conclusions about each other, And it's why in the absence of a disciplined curiosity, we often prefer communities and people and conversations that already look a lot like us and therefore feel safe to us. And social media has not helped with this at all. Certainly not those algorithms that know all about this and use it to their benefit, either to keep us in conversations of Like minded people that won't challenge us or to very purposely show us perspectives they know will make us angry and get us to click on them, but also because most of our social streams are yet another fire hose of information that completely floods our ability to Search out nuance or parse the details or sift through what we're seeing for something that might actually impact us. See, we almost need shortcuts to deal with the volume of opinions that social media feeds us every single day. So it's not that we're close minded, although we may be a little bit we're close minded.

But, really, I think often, it's just that we're not well equipped To process something like an endless stream of tweets, information overload creates a dependency on shortcuts. Shortcuts breed a familiarity and a desire for it, and familiarity becomes the enemy of curiosity. And that is quite a conundrum when we claim to follow a god that seems to embody a divine curiosity, A god that has this holy ability to never jump to a conclusion, but to always insist The story can go in a new direction. In fact, the very premise of grace is that god never writes anyone off For any reason, particularly not heuristic ones. And, actually, to take it even farther, I would suggest That the very Christian story itself confronts us with a god who embraced change into god's self.

See, the incarnation is a really tricky idea. We have god who we generally believe to be unchanging, And then we have that same god in a human life that is inherently growing and changing. I mean, obviously, Jesus didn't bring his awareness of the Osmoth with him into his crib. Luke straight up tells us that Jesus grew in wisdom and stature. This was not a grown man living in an infant body all the time.

He was learning about who he was. And not only that, he learned what was appropriate for a human being of his time and place. I mean, I don't think that Jesus understood calculus, I don't think that makes him any less divine. Now if that makes you feel better about the fact that you didn't do well in calculus, that's just a bonus here. Actually, When I think about it, maybe that makes you feel really good if you did do well in calculus because now you've got one over on the son of God, but, I mean, you get my point here.

Right? In embracing incarnation, the divine embraced change and a growth and transformation and learning and falling down and getting back cup, and god said that all of it was good. And that's why I find it incredibly interesting to watch Jesus grow, not just from a child into a boy and then a man, but to see him continue to grow even once he begins his public ministry. See, each of the gospels had a slightly different perspective on Jesus. By the way, I I think it's really important That 4 different people understood Jesus in 4 different ways.

But even within the individual gospels, We see this slowly evolving maturity that emerges in Jesus. Take the gospel of Matthew. Jesus begins his public appearances with what is often called the sermon on the mount. Now Luke Records much of the same material in a passage that we call the sermon by the plane, but it does seem that the gospels agree That Jesus's early ministry was characterized by a certain set of ideas. Now I love the Sermon on the Mount.

I wrote a book on the Sermon on the Mount. It's called dirt and stardust. You can pick up a copy for free at the back before you leave if you'd like, But that title is a reference to Jesus' encouragement that you are the salt of the ground beneath your feet, and you are the light of the cosmos above your head. You are part of what is good about dirt and stardust and everything in between. And as big and beautiful as that cosmic passage is, part of what has made the Sermon on the Mount so enduring is that this is actually Jesus at his most practical and grounded.

You've heard it said, don't murder. I tell you that's just the bare minimum, be better. You're about to go to worship, and you remember that your friend has something against you. Go and make things right first. That's most important.

For years, you've been told an eye for an eye. I wanna suggest that nonviolent protest can be far more powerful and actually more effective way to find justice. In 1 sermon, Jesus talked about money and sexuality and anxiety. He teaches us how to pray and how to judge Heather Fairley really is a tour de force performance. And, honestly, a life that is lived, A model after the wisdom expressed in just that 1 sermon would be a life well lived.

But there's also a thing that seems to happen to Jesus Somewhere along the way toward the cross, he starts to become more cognizant of where his story is headed. The opposition that he's facing and the mounting threat of violence that's bubbling up against him. And so at some point, he stops giving advice, advice that characterizes the Sermon on the Mount, and he begins to teach almost exclusively now in riddles and stories as the gospels unfold. In Matthew, There's really 2 major addresses from Jesus. There's the sermon on the mount that begins in Matthew 5, and then there's the sermon by the sea in Matthew 13.

And here, there's no advice to be found. There's no practical wisdom. It is all parable and riddle to be wrestled with. Jesus even says at one point in that sermon, I'm teaching this way so that those who don't get me will be even more confused by me, and those who do We'll be drawn in even deeper. And so this time, he tells stories about seeds that fall to the ground and die and tales about weeds that have been sown into the fields and mixed with the seed.

He reframes our imagination of kingdom as this Scrubby, scraggly, embarrassing mustard bush that creeps across the garden. He talks about the most valuable thing in the world being buried below our feet right overlooked in the ground in front of us. There seems to be a Jesus that is realizing that you can't Teach someone into the kingdom. You can only invite them or entice them to search it out for themselves. It's as if as Jesus becomes more aware of his destiny and the cross that awaits him, he wants us to have that same kind of epiphany.

All through the gospels, Jesus has been aware that people are not expecting what he is offering. But from here on, Matthew 13 seems like a really significant inflection point. He really wants to turn their perceptions on their head. It's like he says, well, if you're gonna misunderstand me, then I'm gonna capitalize on that, and I'm gonna think up examples of just how profoundly the true kingdom differs from yours. In the words of Farrar Capone, if they think my kingdom will be parochial, visible, propositional, A military established theocratic state that will be handed to them, I will come up with stories that hint at a kingdom everywhere and mysterious and already present in their midst, one that is already aggressively demanding their response right now.

It's as if Jesus says, what if I tried something completely new? Now don't misunderstand me. I don't think any of this calls into question any of the wisdom Jesus offers us in his 1st sermon. In fact, I actually think it makes it more trustworthy because this is a Jesus who watches and listens to how his words are landing, who notices how his teaching is received and then shifts gears to make sure his intent isn't missed. It's a Jesus who is perceptive and sensitive and responsive and careful, But it's also a Jesus who is learning, certainly learning about his audience, but I think Just as important, learning about himself.

See, Luke says that Jesus grew in wisdom and stature as a child, But you can see Jesus throughout the gospels, growing in the wisdom to know exactly where the story is going. Look. Obviously, Jesus did not know he was going to die on a cross as he lay in a crib in Bethlehem. That path had to unfold before him throughout his life, and he learns from it. There's a saying that I've always liked.

I've always tried to hold on to it in my relationships. A person can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves. I really like that. I like it for myself. I find that when I'm struggling to engage with someone, I just find them challenging or off putting for some reason, and they bring up some kind of frustration in me.

I don't I don't know about you, but often, People who are most like me, loud and opinionated and skinny people, those are the most difficult for me to deal with. But that's because they're showing me a mirror of things that I know I need to work on in myself. Right? So a person can only meet you as deeply as they have met themself is a reminder that if I'm struggling to meet you, it's possibly because I have my own work to do. Conversely, Sometimes, it reminds me that maybe I'm just expecting too much from someone who has their own work to do.

That's not a slight, Not a judgment. It's an acknowledgment of the fact that we are all of us on our own journey doing our own work, and sometimes my frustration with someone else Is a reflection of the fact that I am expecting something from them they can't give me right now. And it helps me to slow down and to recompose and then to reengage with more grace. But in the gospels, we are given this gift of getting to watch Jesus meet himself. Now he's Jesus, so the encounter is guided by spirit and led by his father, and Jesus is fully open to the process.

Nothing is hidden or malignant in it. There's no ego or subterfuge, and all of that growing divine awareness is made available to us as we journey with Jesus toward the cross throughout the gospels. But the Jesus of Matthew 1, who lays in a manger completely dependent on his mother, Is not the same Jesus of Matthew 5 who offers us practical wisdom from the Sermon on the Mount is not the same Jesus of Matthew 13 who speaks in riddle and parable and who's coming to understand that a seed must fall to the ground and die if many are to take its place. See, the mystery of the incarnation Is that the divine has become a curious creature, and that is what you are meant to be. Look.

You're not the person you were 5 years ago, like it or not, and you're not the person you will be 10 years from now, like it or not. And in a lot of ways, I think right now, that scares us more than ever. Go back to where we started today. We are heuristic machines that depend on shortcuts. And today, given the enormous amounts of information that we are all processing.

It can feel like we need those shortcuts more than ever. And so sometimes the easiest things that we can do is to decide on a camp And to lock ourselves into it, to define ourselves by who is on our side, and then to refuse absolutely to be curious about anything that does not fit our mental model. And honestly, I don't think that's because we're afraid of each other or afraid of listening. I think it's because we're afraid of changing. That growth is hard, and it's scary.

And what if I find that the practical wisdom of the Sermon on the Mount will eventually lead me to uncover a kingdom that will ask me to die to myself? I'm not sure that's a path I wanna go. I've come this far, and it's good, and I'm comfortable where I am right now. I think I'll just stay. Except I also wanna suggest that that discomfort of gross is in fact divine.

See, every one of us, we are born into a world where the only thing that matters to us is our physical needs. When you are a baby, the only thing that matters is when you are cold or when you are hungry or when you are wet or when you are held. It's a purely physical view of the world, and that works for a time. Unfortunately, eventually, you grow, And your eyes focus and your brain develops and you realize that when you cry, there's a someone that responds to you. So life is a call and response with a higher power.

It's a very mythical view of the world, and that works for a time. Still, you keep growing, and the mythic status of mom and dad start to seem rather mundane. You can do some things for yourself now. In fact, you want to do things for yourself. Our daughter is almost 3 right now, and One of the most common phrases we hear in our house right now is I can do it, often followed by I did it.

Honestly, she is her best cheerleader, and I love that about her. It's great stuff. But all of a sudden, You start to want to assert control over your world, and you want to differentiate yourself from those who've come before. And whether we're talking about a teenager here or someone having their midlife crisis, This is a power and control view of the world, and that works for a time. Now later, we Reform rules and traditions.

After that, we start to employ strategy and reason. Eventually, hopefully, we We grow in empathy and care, and maybe at some point, we learn how to evaluate and how to make a care filled judgments about the world around us. But at each of these developmental stages, you are becoming a version of yourself. Not a new person, you're still you. The same way the Jesus of the cross is the same Jesus of the Sermon on the Mount is the same Jesus that lay dependent on his mother.

But the idea of being human is that you never stop becoming, And that means that curiosity about your world and those you encounter, and please hear this, Curiosity about yourself, all of this is sacred. In fact, it's the path that Jesus laid before us. As human beings, we do 2 things. We tend to look forward with fear, and we look back with disdain. Future is scary.

We all know that. Right? We all have different levels, but anxiety seems to be part of the human condition. However, if you've ever met someone who thinks the way you used to think, You know what I'm talking about when I say we look back with disdain. Right?

Someone who has a theology you left behind? Someone who has a politic you you've moved on from. You probably know that kind of pitiful contempt that rises up somewhere in the back of your mind. The problem is when we feed that reaction to someone else, there's also a part of us that applies it to who we used to be as well. And that feeds our shame centers, and that makes us fearful of the next time we need to challenge ourselves to grow.

The thing is, when we are already at this disadvantage because of all of the information that we are all trying to sort all of the time, Any instinct that numbs our curiosity to grow is the enemy. And I think that sometimes we forget how we treat others, Who they are, who they used to be, who they could become slowly becomes how we treat ourselves. And, look, I have reinvented my theology in particular several times now, not just in my lifetime, but in my career. And it would be very easy for me to look back at who I was, some of the things that I taught with scornful disdain. All those times that I opted for bounded safety rather than the boundless grace of god.

But the thing is, all of those moments, all those sermons and those conversations, All of those markers where my eyes were opened up to something new, all of them are part of who I am now today. And I can choose to be embarrassed by them, and then I can dig my heels into where I am now and refuse to go any farther than that, Or I can be embraced by the goodness of a god that has followed me all through my life, even down the ill chosen paths, Bringing me to this day, and I can use that as fuel for the curiosity that will lead me into who I will become tomorrow. You see, Tell Me More is about the conversations that we need to have with each other. But first, It has to be about this cultivation of the curiosity that will get us there and then beyond, and that starts with ourselves, who we've been, and who we're becoming. For those of us that want to do our best to follow the path of Jesus, this is about more than just tips and tricks.

This is about uncovering the pathway of grace. So here's my hope for you this new year, May you begin this January sparked by divine curiosity, With gratitude for all the people you have been in the past and excitement to see just where the spirit will lead you tomorrow. Because if we can cultivate a curiosity for ourselves, my belief is that we'll inevitably translate into a curiosity for each other, and that is the path of grace. Let's pray. Our curious god who continues to be curious about us, Willing never to write us off, but always believe that there is something new just around the corner, And that your engagement with us by your spirit, by your grace, by your love can change the story.

We believe that every step along the way, you have been with us, guiding us, Teaching us, cheerleading us along to become who we are in this moment and who we might become next. The fact that the divine ensconced themselves in the human experience and became, Grew, learned, and set a path for us is one of the greatest gifts I can possibly imagine. And god, by your spirit and grace, that's the path I hope I can step into. May my curiosity for who I am and who I'm becoming slowly become my curiosity for my neighbor, Slowly become my curiosity for the stranger. And as I engage, as I learn more, As I keep this holy practice of asking others to tell me more, may I learn something and slowly be shaped into the likeness of your son.

In the strong name of the risen Christ, we pray.