1 00:00:43,239 --> 00:00:44,399 Abby: I didn't really get to journal. 2 00:00:44,499 --> 00:00:44,829 So 3 00:00:45,684 --> 00:00:46,014 Fallon: that's okay. 4 00:00:46,014 --> 00:00:47,244 I know you like to do that beforehand. 5 00:00:47,254 --> 00:00:49,324 I never do, but I know that you're really good about it. 6 00:00:50,889 --> 00:00:53,389 Abby: I sometimes am if I know what we're going to talk about. 7 00:00:54,284 --> 00:00:55,784 Fallon: Yeah, sorry. 8 00:00:55,784 --> 00:01:01,484 I, I got talks on Saturday and she gets talks right here because she puts it 9 00:01:01,484 --> 00:01:02,874 here and here because it lifts my nose. 10 00:01:02,875 --> 00:01:07,274 I know it's so weird, but I love it 11 00:01:07,909 --> 00:01:08,259 Abby: Yeah. 12 00:01:08,524 --> 00:01:10,744 Fallon: because like we have this thing on my dad's side of the 13 00:01:10,744 --> 00:01:13,134 family, like the older you get, the, like the more your nose drops. 14 00:01:13,134 --> 00:01:15,154 And I'm just like, listen, I don't need the tip of my nose 15 00:01:15,154 --> 00:01:16,534 to be to my chin in 20 years. 16 00:01:17,879 --> 00:01:20,819 Abby: It's like the other episode where we started out talking about my grace and 17 00:01:20,819 --> 00:01:22,619 I'm like, I'm not available for the grace. 18 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,409 You're not available for the drooping nose. 19 00:01:24,434 --> 00:01:26,474 Fallon: No, but I always 20 00:01:26,824 --> 00:01:27,124 Abby: ever. 21 00:01:27,774 --> 00:01:28,344 Fallon: Never. 22 00:01:28,594 --> 00:01:32,864 I always forget that when it kicks in, so I start to put, I'm like, what is that? 23 00:01:32,874 --> 00:01:37,949 What's wrong with my Lip so that's why I was like, drinking and going like that. 24 00:01:37,999 --> 00:01:41,719 Because it's just like, that little part gets numb, you know, you 25 00:01:41,719 --> 00:01:43,759 know, and toxic sand and everything 26 00:01:43,924 --> 00:01:47,014 Abby: you start, so when you start drinking out of your water bottle, 27 00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:49,134 does your mouth like not, does it 28 00:01:49,169 --> 00:01:50,229 Fallon: No, because it's not. 29 00:01:50,259 --> 00:01:51,059 No, because I don't. 30 00:01:51,109 --> 00:01:53,839 Yeah, because I don't do the flip, but everybody that does the, like, 31 00:01:53,839 --> 00:01:55,159 the, I don't do that much stuff. 32 00:01:56,069 --> 00:01:59,209 Everybody that does the flip, but they're like, they can't drink out of anything. 33 00:01:59,210 --> 00:02:02,869 Like, I remember going to lunch with, um. 34 00:02:03,129 --> 00:02:05,059 I won't say her name in case we keep this in here. 35 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:09,074 But she was like trying to drink out of a straw and she's like, I can't, I can't get 36 00:02:09,074 --> 00:02:11,874 any liquids because I can't move my mouth. 37 00:02:12,624 --> 00:02:14,194 I was like, man, that's a, that's a good thing. 38 00:02:14,194 --> 00:02:14,784 You're single. 39 00:02:14,824 --> 00:02:15,704 That's a problem. 40 00:02:16,574 --> 00:02:17,184 Abby: the problem. 41 00:02:17,624 --> 00:02:17,994 Fallon: Yeah. 42 00:02:18,094 --> 00:02:18,994 No, mine doesn't do that. 43 00:02:18,994 --> 00:02:20,544 It's just this little area right there. 44 00:02:20,754 --> 00:02:21,664 Um, I guess, I don't know. 45 00:02:21,704 --> 00:02:24,434 There's some science behind it that like, and it works. 46 00:02:24,474 --> 00:02:26,124 Like I take pictures, progress pictures. 47 00:02:27,194 --> 00:02:28,424 So yeah, anyways, 48 00:02:29,344 --> 00:02:30,074 Abby: That's interesting. 49 00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:31,104 I'd like to see those. 50 00:02:31,844 --> 00:02:33,524 Fallon: I'll send you some, I'll have to find some old ones. 51 00:02:33,894 --> 00:02:35,814 I should take some now, make some updated ones. 52 00:02:37,274 --> 00:02:40,274 Abby: I just saw a really pretty butterfly going out, going around outside. 53 00:02:40,524 --> 00:02:43,084 Fallon: Oh, I have so many desserts. 54 00:02:44,824 --> 00:02:45,484 Abby: Lizards? 55 00:02:45,539 --> 00:02:48,919 Fallon: yeah, which, you know, I can't remember what they 56 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,649 mean, but I mean, we have a ton. 57 00:02:50,709 --> 00:02:51,659 I've never had this many. 58 00:02:52,564 --> 00:02:54,814 Abby: Yeah, in like Florida, that's the only place I ever see them. 59 00:02:55,034 --> 00:02:56,694 The little like geckos, the small ones. 60 00:02:56,929 --> 00:02:59,539 Fallon: Yeah, I've seen them a ton at like my front, like other people's houses. 61 00:02:59,909 --> 00:03:01,759 Um, but never this many at mine. 62 00:03:01,789 --> 00:03:02,689 I mean, they're all over. 63 00:03:05,529 --> 00:03:05,879 I don't know. 64 00:03:06,799 --> 00:03:11,029 Abby: I'm laughing because I can hear Jameson like, like, like in the shower. 65 00:03:11,049 --> 00:03:13,309 I'm like, hopefully no one can hear that. 66 00:03:13,509 --> 00:03:14,469 Fallon: No, I can't hear it. 67 00:03:15,879 --> 00:03:16,709 Good background noise. 68 00:03:17,559 --> 00:03:18,959 Let me just serenade you. 69 00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:21,179 Let's serenade the listeners with Jameson shower noises. 70 00:03:22,849 --> 00:03:23,379 Abby: Yes. 71 00:03:24,409 --> 00:03:25,039 Fallon: Um, 72 00:03:25,179 --> 00:03:25,549 Abby: start. 73 00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:30,249 Fallon: so I don't know, appreciating people and shit. 74 00:03:30,570 --> 00:03:33,136 Like, we, 75 00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:37,069 Abby: noises, talking about our loved ones and appreciating them fully, 76 00:03:38,579 --> 00:03:43,309 well, this all started when Fallon and I were talking in Signal the other 77 00:03:43,309 --> 00:03:49,669 day about, I mean, basically just how we can be appreciating people more 78 00:03:50,489 --> 00:03:53,649 and really like, it's so easy to. 79 00:03:54,574 --> 00:03:59,334 It's so easy to just notice all of the annoying stuff that people around 80 00:03:59,334 --> 00:04:05,574 us do, instead of, you know, really highlighting and voicing the things 81 00:04:05,584 --> 00:04:10,384 that we notice that they do that are really great and amazing, you know, it's 82 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:13,864 like that stuff just, you see it and you're just like, oh, that was nice. 83 00:04:13,864 --> 00:04:16,344 And you just say that to yourself in your own head. 84 00:04:16,514 --> 00:04:18,414 And then you don't actually say it to the person. 85 00:04:20,219 --> 00:04:20,509 Fallon: yeah. 86 00:04:20,509 --> 00:04:24,269 And I think that we see this probably more in long term relationships than anything. 87 00:04:25,449 --> 00:04:28,329 it's like, as friends, you know, we can be long term friendships 88 00:04:28,379 --> 00:04:31,319 and we still like, celebrate each other and, you know, all of that. 89 00:04:31,319 --> 00:04:33,829 But I think it's like, really those long term relationships or even 90 00:04:33,829 --> 00:04:36,909 potentially relationships with, like, your parents, you know, like. 91 00:04:37,759 --> 00:04:43,389 That we, we forget to look at the things they do do and. 92 00:04:44,894 --> 00:04:48,714 And, uh, instead focus on all the, like you said, the, the annoying 93 00:04:48,714 --> 00:04:51,184 or the things that they don't do or how they don't show up. 94 00:04:51,194 --> 00:04:52,724 But it's like, okay, but how are they showing up? 95 00:04:52,734 --> 00:04:56,804 That was something that with my clients, I'm like, but can you look at. 96 00:04:57,244 --> 00:05:00,674 Like, women who are frustrated with their husbands for whatever reason, not 97 00:05:00,674 --> 00:05:04,564 providing the way they want, but I'm like, but they're providing something. 98 00:05:05,424 --> 00:05:07,384 Even if it's not what you want, it's still feedback. 99 00:05:07,414 --> 00:05:08,774 There's provision somewhere. 100 00:05:09,194 --> 00:05:12,374 You know, there's and if you're in the dating world, the provision can 101 00:05:12,374 --> 00:05:16,084 often be they're providing you with showing you what you don't want. 102 00:05:16,324 --> 00:05:18,884 It's still a provision, even if it's even if it's not what you 103 00:05:18,884 --> 00:05:20,784 want, but it's still something good. 104 00:05:20,794 --> 00:05:24,644 But, but more in, like, the long term relationships, I just got off of a client 105 00:05:24,644 --> 00:05:29,804 call and he was saying just how he's able to look at his wife differently. 106 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:33,479 And he appreciates her tenacity in a different way than he used 107 00:05:33,599 --> 00:05:35,269 to and all of these things. 108 00:05:35,269 --> 00:05:36,869 And it's funny cause I work with the wife as well. 109 00:05:36,869 --> 00:05:39,659 And she was also telling me in the last few weeks, like, I just 110 00:05:39,659 --> 00:05:42,109 realized there's so much that I wouldn't be able to do without him. 111 00:05:42,599 --> 00:05:46,929 Like I wouldn't be able to have what I have and have this incredible business. 112 00:05:47,039 --> 00:05:50,479 If he wasn't at home doing everything he does for the house and the kids and 113 00:05:50,489 --> 00:05:53,879 the pets and the, and then he runs all my errands for me for the business. 114 00:05:53,959 --> 00:05:57,359 And then he comes and helps me on the building and, and it's like, Oh gosh. 115 00:05:57,389 --> 00:05:59,759 And we forget because we're so focused on. 116 00:06:00,339 --> 00:06:01,669 What am I not getting from you? 117 00:06:03,069 --> 00:06:06,959 We're getting actually a lot from each other and we're all serving and 118 00:06:06,959 --> 00:06:10,039 loving in our own language, which, 119 00:06:10,194 --> 00:06:10,584 Abby: Right. 120 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:12,949 Fallon: you know, is a different language than you. 121 00:06:13,654 --> 00:06:16,184 Abby: Well, that was the thing I was just going to say that I was thinking about 122 00:06:16,184 --> 00:06:18,174 as you were saying that, that it's also 123 00:06:20,624 --> 00:06:26,574 knowing how you like to receive things, you know, how you like to receive love, 124 00:06:26,584 --> 00:06:30,494 like the five love languages as, you know, probably every, most of the listeners on 125 00:06:30,494 --> 00:06:33,844 here have read or heard about, or, you know, you know what your love languages 126 00:06:33,844 --> 00:06:42,384 are because mine are, you know, my husband really likes acts of service and like, 127 00:06:42,384 --> 00:06:44,654 he likes people doing acts of service. 128 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,224 He likes to do acts of service. 129 00:06:46,919 --> 00:06:51,889 And he doesn't care about, like, words or, you know, he wants, 130 00:06:51,929 --> 00:06:55,249 like, you to do something for him and that really shows it. 131 00:06:55,679 --> 00:07:01,699 And so, like, for a real life example that happened yesterday was, um, 132 00:07:02,909 --> 00:07:06,259 he was watching the baby while I was hanging out with my friend. 133 00:07:07,419 --> 00:07:13,144 And When I went to pick up the baby from him to put him down for a nap, 134 00:07:13,884 --> 00:07:19,694 I was like, Hey, what did you, what did you, um, feed him for lunch? 135 00:07:19,695 --> 00:07:21,834 And he called me right away. 136 00:07:21,844 --> 00:07:23,494 And he was like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry. 137 00:07:23,534 --> 00:07:26,834 I, I totally spaced, I made him an eight ounce bottle, but 138 00:07:26,834 --> 00:07:28,074 I didn't feed him any food. 139 00:07:28,075 --> 00:07:31,154 And 140 00:07:32,864 --> 00:07:33,694 Fallon: At least he was honest. 141 00:07:34,334 --> 00:07:36,984 Abby: no, he was that he was very, very apologetic. 142 00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:42,204 But, um, and I think normally, cause I. 143 00:07:42,814 --> 00:07:47,344 I can be better about appreciating the little, the little things that he does 144 00:07:47,364 --> 00:07:53,534 and the big things, but, um, I would be frustrated by that, but then I, as 145 00:07:53,534 --> 00:07:56,824 he called me, I'm looking around the place that we're staying here in Venice. 146 00:07:57,529 --> 00:08:01,779 And I noticed that, like, the dishes are done, and he cleaned the bottles, 147 00:08:01,879 --> 00:08:06,029 and, like, he hung out, he was doing the laundry, and, like, hung on the laundry 148 00:08:06,029 --> 00:08:10,179 to dry, and all these things, and it's like, I guess it's okay that you forgot 149 00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:15,169 to feed him lunch, because there are, there are, there are other things that 150 00:08:15,169 --> 00:08:19,939 we're doing here, so it's all right, you know, but also then going a step further 151 00:08:19,939 --> 00:08:22,379 and appreciating, like, Yeah, it's okay. 152 00:08:22,379 --> 00:08:27,689 And I appreciate that you did all of these other things to like, instead 153 00:08:27,689 --> 00:08:31,069 of being like, Oh my God, I can't believe you didn't think to feed him. 154 00:08:31,079 --> 00:08:32,119 He's probably starving. 155 00:08:32,209 --> 00:08:32,619 You know, he's 156 00:08:33,744 --> 00:08:34,144 Fallon: Yeah. 157 00:08:34,279 --> 00:08:34,869 Abby: not starving. 158 00:08:35,269 --> 00:08:35,429 He's 159 00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:36,904 Fallon: If he wasn't crying and yeah. 160 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:37,939 Abby: Yeah. 161 00:08:37,979 --> 00:08:38,309 Yeah. 162 00:08:38,734 --> 00:08:38,944 Fallon: Yeah. 163 00:08:38,944 --> 00:08:42,474 I just think we forget the ways in which people are showing up for us 164 00:08:42,854 --> 00:08:46,974 because it's not the ways in which we always want or think we need. 165 00:08:47,639 --> 00:08:50,659 Abby: Or it's not the way that we would have done it for them. 166 00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:51,614 Fallon: Yeah. 167 00:08:52,354 --> 00:08:52,584 And I 168 00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:53,889 Abby: easy to dismiss it. 169 00:08:54,044 --> 00:08:54,724 Fallon: it really is. 170 00:08:54,724 --> 00:08:57,804 And I really feel this so strongly with the, with the men and the women. 171 00:08:58,199 --> 00:08:59,589 You know, like, I don't know. 172 00:08:59,589 --> 00:09:04,399 I have such a compassion for the men more now in my life than ever. 173 00:09:04,859 --> 00:09:11,999 I'm like, damn, most of the good men are actually trying really hard to show up. 174 00:09:12,699 --> 00:09:18,569 And then there's women like me who hold a lot of trauma a lot and done a lot of 175 00:09:18,569 --> 00:09:21,759 work and done a lot of healing, but I still have my reservations and I still 176 00:09:21,759 --> 00:09:23,099 have, I still have my stuff, you know? 177 00:09:23,549 --> 00:09:24,129 And. 178 00:09:24,539 --> 00:09:28,399 All the times that I maybe unconsciously wasn't seeing what a 179 00:09:28,399 --> 00:09:30,819 partner was doing because of that. 180 00:09:31,539 --> 00:09:34,629 And then how can I shift out of that without compromising my boundaries? 181 00:09:35,729 --> 00:09:39,969 You know, without, without, you know, not, not just getting walked all over. 182 00:09:40,499 --> 00:09:43,769 Sometimes that's where the trauma starts, but, but I'm like, okay, well, 183 00:09:43,779 --> 00:09:46,349 they actually are showing up this way. 184 00:09:46,509 --> 00:09:50,039 And even with friends, like sometimes with friends, if we're and family, 185 00:09:50,219 --> 00:09:53,989 if we're not calling or, or being as in touch, you know, especially 186 00:09:53,989 --> 00:09:57,109 where you and I are, you know, we're not close to people all the time. 187 00:09:57,109 --> 00:09:59,679 We're often just kind little worlds because our friends 188 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:00,679 and family live all over. 189 00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:04,039 But it's like, what ways are they still showing up? 190 00:10:04,139 --> 00:10:10,079 And also, are you asking directly for what you need and want to? 191 00:10:10,669 --> 00:10:11,019 Yeah. 192 00:10:11,059 --> 00:10:14,319 And then being appreciative and, and like seeing them, like, you know, 193 00:10:14,319 --> 00:10:16,409 there's nothing that feels better than a person than when you're 194 00:10:16,409 --> 00:10:21,839 seen by somebody, it's just like, it's the, it's the best feeling. 195 00:10:21,839 --> 00:10:24,509 Like, I just had a client message me and she's like, Fallon, 196 00:10:24,649 --> 00:10:25,719 she's in my group, the deep end. 197 00:10:25,869 --> 00:10:28,764 And she's like, I just, I already feel so much better. 198 00:10:28,764 --> 00:10:30,484 And like, thank you for doing the work that you do. 199 00:10:30,484 --> 00:10:32,854 And thank you for loving so many people the way that you love them. 200 00:10:32,854 --> 00:10:34,034 You love everybody where they're at. 201 00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:37,304 And I just can't even believe how excited I am for my life again. 202 00:10:37,674 --> 00:10:39,684 I know I just felt like, God, I feel so seen. 203 00:10:39,984 --> 00:10:43,814 And it was really beautiful because most people have reservations of doing that. 204 00:10:43,824 --> 00:10:46,504 I know for me, I've had reservations of doing that with people. 205 00:10:47,424 --> 00:10:50,174 And I will say probably mostly with men, because I'm like, 206 00:10:50,224 --> 00:10:51,504 I don't want them to stop. 207 00:10:51,554 --> 00:10:55,099 So if I see them, what they're doing, Then will they write like these little 208 00:10:55,159 --> 00:11:00,209 shadow frequencies of like, if I tell him, then will he stop doing it, 209 00:11:01,649 --> 00:11:05,579 Abby: It's interesting you say that because my, my inclination is if you 210 00:11:05,579 --> 00:11:09,499 recognize the things that they're doing and they, and you tell them how 211 00:11:09,499 --> 00:11:12,709 happy it makes you, then it just makes somebody want to keep doing it more. 212 00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,529 Fallon: which is the right inclination. 213 00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:19,339 But 214 00:11:19,439 --> 00:11:21,379 Abby: like, really, I should do this more myself. 215 00:11:21,789 --> 00:11:24,649 Fallon: well, but no, I, but I, because as I was saying that, I was like, well, 216 00:11:24,649 --> 00:11:27,229 really what, how, what it would do is like, you would want to do more of it, 217 00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:31,099 but it's like, we do have these little wounds and things that we hold back 218 00:11:31,099 --> 00:11:34,779 on telling somebody what we appreciate about them for whatever reason. 219 00:11:34,779 --> 00:11:35,499 Like, just look into that. 220 00:11:35,499 --> 00:11:36,649 I I'm always having. 221 00:11:37,189 --> 00:11:41,029 And I do this myself, my clients look at, like, what is the underlying energy of 222 00:11:41,029 --> 00:11:43,029 why you are or aren't doing something. 223 00:11:43,539 --> 00:11:47,169 And then, so, in this case, it's like, why, if you're not telling 224 00:11:47,169 --> 00:11:50,499 the people in your, your world, how much you appreciate them, maybe why. 225 00:11:51,079 --> 00:11:53,059 Or are you doing it because you don't feel appreciated, so you're 226 00:11:53,059 --> 00:11:55,609 waiting to feel appreciated before you give appreciation, you know, 227 00:11:55,639 --> 00:11:57,899 Abby: you're holding back on you're holding back on giving the 228 00:11:57,899 --> 00:12:01,269 appreciation because it's like a little subtle punishment that you 229 00:12:01,269 --> 00:12:05,519 don't actually know that you're doing maybe consciously but you're doing it. 230 00:12:06,704 --> 00:12:07,124 Fallon: Yeah. 231 00:12:07,829 --> 00:12:08,139 Abby: Yeah. 232 00:12:09,574 --> 00:12:10,954 Fallon: Well, that's it, guys. 233 00:12:11,174 --> 00:12:13,564 Just kidding. 234 00:12:16,974 --> 00:12:18,694 Abby: No, I think that was a really good point, though. 235 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:23,884 I'm just wondering if you're not appreciating because you don't feel 236 00:12:23,884 --> 00:12:29,534 appreciated, because I think that that's something to take a beat and 237 00:12:29,784 --> 00:12:33,904 feel into if that might be true for you, because I think, too, with women, 238 00:12:33,934 --> 00:12:36,354 especially also men, but I know. 239 00:12:36,724 --> 00:12:40,024 Like, I've heard this from clients too, when you have a little bit more of that, 240 00:12:40,054 --> 00:12:45,704 um, you know, you kind of take on that martyr role and you're doing a lot, you 241 00:12:45,704 --> 00:12:50,244 feel like you're doing a lot for other people and a lot for your family, a lot 242 00:12:50,244 --> 00:12:56,974 for your work, a lot for the kids and trying to keep all the balls in the air. 243 00:12:57,774 --> 00:13:01,924 And you're just feeling like, why is nobody noticing everything that I'm doing? 244 00:13:01,984 --> 00:13:04,994 And so you don't want to even give appreciation for what other 245 00:13:04,994 --> 00:13:06,094 people might be doing for you. 246 00:13:06,095 --> 00:13:06,124 Right. 247 00:13:06,124 --> 00:13:06,154 Right. 248 00:13:06,814 --> 00:13:10,364 Because you're like, well, fuck that I'm doing way more, you know, and, and it 249 00:13:10,364 --> 00:13:15,394 can get in kind of a dangerous place in your close, in your close relationships 250 00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:16,414 with people like in your, yeah. 251 00:13:16,804 --> 00:13:20,194 Like you said, in your, you know, long term partnerships, your marriages, 252 00:13:20,214 --> 00:13:22,094 your friendships, everything. 253 00:13:22,604 --> 00:13:22,834 Fallon: Yeah. 254 00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:23,834 And it's valid, right? 255 00:13:23,834 --> 00:13:26,694 If you are the one that's doing most, it feels like you're doing most of 256 00:13:26,694 --> 00:13:30,414 the things, it's super valid and resentment can build and all of that. 257 00:13:30,414 --> 00:13:33,644 But if you don't speak to it, then the resentment is really going to build 258 00:13:33,654 --> 00:13:35,234 and then it's harder to come back from. 259 00:13:36,204 --> 00:13:41,014 It's hard to come back from once you've let yourself steepen resentment. 260 00:13:41,444 --> 00:13:43,894 So it's like speak, speak to it because. 261 00:13:44,764 --> 00:13:47,564 An honest conversation, an open, vulnerable conversation. 262 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:50,814 They're going to tell you where they feel like they're doing all the things and 263 00:13:50,824 --> 00:13:52,984 they're not feeling seen or appreciated. 264 00:13:53,764 --> 00:13:57,834 And it's like, Oh, can we actually, how can we give it to each other then? 265 00:13:58,624 --> 00:14:02,414 And how can I, you know, like, how can I really see, first 266 00:14:02,414 --> 00:14:03,424 of all, how can I see myself? 267 00:14:03,434 --> 00:14:07,284 Cause that's always a big, when I give my clients, like you've got a, and myself 268 00:14:07,284 --> 00:14:10,374 and right, our friendship, like we all, we all remind each other of this, but. 269 00:14:10,814 --> 00:14:12,564 You've got to be able to give yourself first, what you 270 00:14:12,564 --> 00:14:13,624 most need from somebody else. 271 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:17,059 And it doesn't, it doesn't negate that you need it from somebody else. 272 00:14:17,109 --> 00:14:20,399 But what it does do is start to kind of alleviate the tension 273 00:14:20,399 --> 00:14:24,829 and the pressure of, of like, why am I not getting it from them? 274 00:14:24,839 --> 00:14:27,089 It's like, okay, well, where are you not seeing yourself first? 275 00:14:28,254 --> 00:14:28,614 Abby: Yeah. 276 00:14:28,764 --> 00:14:32,934 Fallon: And can that be enough for right now until you can meet in conversation? 277 00:14:34,964 --> 00:14:35,274 Abby: Yes. 278 00:14:35,974 --> 00:14:36,404 Yes. 279 00:14:36,405 --> 00:14:39,494 And as you were talking, the thing that just popped into my head too, is. 280 00:14:40,784 --> 00:14:44,874 I think that it can be very easy to talk about your partner, like all the 281 00:14:44,874 --> 00:14:48,804 things you love about them, you love, you know, talking about them to other 282 00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:53,274 people, but then you don't realize that you don't say that to them as much. 283 00:14:53,704 --> 00:14:54,174 Fallon: Yeah. 284 00:14:55,254 --> 00:14:59,974 Abby: And so maybe a fun exercise is, you know, talking to your partner 285 00:15:00,594 --> 00:15:04,764 and just saying like, here's what I told, you know, so and so about you. 286 00:15:05,324 --> 00:15:09,264 Yesterday or this week or here, you know, I feel like I've written some 287 00:15:09,264 --> 00:15:14,294 really sweet posts about Jameson and how much I love him and how much 288 00:15:14,374 --> 00:15:15,744 I think he's the greatest partner. 289 00:15:16,944 --> 00:15:18,444 But do I often say that to him? 290 00:15:18,444 --> 00:15:23,284 And like so many words, like he'll see it or I'll like send it to him, you know, 291 00:15:23,814 --> 00:15:25,594 but am I necessarily saying it directly? 292 00:15:25,994 --> 00:15:29,344 Like, yes, every once in a while, but I could probably be doing it a lot more. 293 00:15:29,614 --> 00:15:30,064 Fallon: Yeah. 294 00:15:31,344 --> 00:15:31,754 Yeah. 295 00:15:32,964 --> 00:15:36,794 It's always interesting to just watch just the little ways in 296 00:15:36,794 --> 00:15:40,244 which our patterning takes over and not that it's not a bad thing. 297 00:15:40,264 --> 00:15:41,744 And then how their patterning works. 298 00:15:41,884 --> 00:15:42,364 And. 299 00:15:42,819 --> 00:15:46,789 You gotta learn that from each other and where he might not, like you said, 300 00:15:46,789 --> 00:15:52,699 if he's not a words guy, then you might not be as, you know, inclined to 301 00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:55,809 give him words and you try to do more. 302 00:15:55,879 --> 00:15:57,959 But I know for me, I'm a words gal. 303 00:15:58,974 --> 00:16:00,234 Abby: No, like I like words. 304 00:16:00,404 --> 00:16:01,224 I want to hear words. 305 00:16:01,719 --> 00:16:02,879 Fallon: well, and you're a projector. 306 00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:08,719 So you like really need the, like, Hey, you are amazing and wise. 307 00:16:08,719 --> 00:16:10,879 And this thing you did for me, like changed my life. 308 00:16:10,899 --> 00:16:11,219 Yeah. 309 00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:11,914 Abby: Right. 310 00:16:12,064 --> 00:16:12,684 Exactly. 311 00:16:12,685 --> 00:16:14,664 So, so when 312 00:16:14,749 --> 00:16:15,529 Fallon: you know, but. 313 00:16:15,824 --> 00:16:17,994 Abby: he does acts of service, I'm like, well, that was nice, but 314 00:16:17,994 --> 00:16:19,504 like, can you tell me something? 315 00:16:19,589 --> 00:16:19,939 Fallon: Yeah. 316 00:16:20,509 --> 00:16:20,889 Yeah. 317 00:16:21,319 --> 00:16:22,629 Can you tell me he still have this shirt? 318 00:16:22,629 --> 00:16:25,229 Wait, people have probably seen him, but way back in my twenties, 319 00:16:25,559 --> 00:16:27,849 there was a shirt that was like, feed me and tell me I'm pretty. 320 00:16:28,259 --> 00:16:32,499 And I just remember like, if that is not the embodiment of who I am, like, 321 00:16:32,519 --> 00:16:34,059 tell me I'm pretty every single day. 322 00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:35,464 Abby: Yeah. 323 00:16:35,789 --> 00:16:37,169 Fallon: Don't assume that I know it. 324 00:16:37,459 --> 00:16:38,509 You know, it was interesting too. 325 00:16:38,509 --> 00:16:41,299 This comes up because I was doing human design readings, um, 326 00:16:42,289 --> 00:16:44,329 for a client event on Saturday. 327 00:16:44,609 --> 00:16:47,669 And in the middle of it, I was doing a group reading of three friends. 328 00:16:47,669 --> 00:16:47,819 Yeah. 329 00:16:48,244 --> 00:16:51,214 And one of them has already, she's already, yeah, it was so fun. 330 00:16:51,284 --> 00:16:52,084 It was so fun. 331 00:16:52,434 --> 00:16:54,764 And she's, she's already worked with me before. 332 00:16:54,824 --> 00:16:56,794 And so she brought her friends and they were in town. 333 00:16:56,794 --> 00:16:57,904 They're having a girl's weekend. 334 00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:00,864 And in the middle of, she just stopped me. 335 00:17:00,864 --> 00:17:04,114 She said, you, you don't need, I know you don't need to hear 336 00:17:04,114 --> 00:17:06,414 this, but you are so good. 337 00:17:06,454 --> 00:17:07,714 Like you were doing such a good job. 338 00:17:07,714 --> 00:17:08,664 You're so good at this. 339 00:17:09,524 --> 00:17:14,119 Um, and it was interesting cause it was like, Maybe I don't need to hear 340 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:16,559 it, but I am not going to reject it. 341 00:17:16,909 --> 00:17:21,139 It was like, say the thing, you know, that you like, Oh, they 342 00:17:21,139 --> 00:17:21,959 probably don't need to hear this. 343 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:24,199 It's like the same thing I think with men potentially. 344 00:17:24,199 --> 00:17:26,879 Well, she knows she's pretty, she knows it, but I want to 345 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,359 know that you think that I am. 346 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,174 Even though like, sure, I can embody that. 347 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,494 And I need to hold that confidence in that pole. 348 00:17:32,494 --> 00:17:33,774 My myself, right? 349 00:17:33,774 --> 00:17:36,244 Like I can't lean on you to film, always fill my cup. 350 00:17:36,244 --> 00:17:40,474 Like I need to do the things that make me feel the way I want to feel, but 351 00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:41,794 it just felt so good in that moment. 352 00:17:41,814 --> 00:17:42,434 It was so fun. 353 00:17:42,434 --> 00:17:46,434 And it was a little bit like, I'm so used to kind of being the leader and the guide 354 00:17:46,434 --> 00:17:49,504 all the time that it's like, when I get those reflections back, I'm always like, 355 00:17:49,504 --> 00:17:52,594 Oh, like, I know how to receive, but I never quite know what to do with it. 356 00:17:52,594 --> 00:17:54,894 But I will just say, it just feels really good to be seen. 357 00:17:54,894 --> 00:17:58,164 And so who in your life right now, could you see me more? 358 00:17:58,539 --> 00:18:00,489 And, and verbalize them and share that with them. 359 00:18:00,489 --> 00:18:01,569 'cause it really is a gift. 360 00:18:03,684 --> 00:18:04,244 Abby: I love that. 361 00:18:04,314 --> 00:18:08,924 And it reminds me, I was just watching this friends episode, the one where, 362 00:18:09,194 --> 00:18:13,474 um, Joey is trying to convince Phoebe that there are no good deeds because 363 00:18:13,584 --> 00:18:15,674 every good deed makes you feel good. 364 00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:17,204 Like there's no selfless good deed. 365 00:18:18,134 --> 00:18:22,704 And so I was going to say that, like, this is such a really, like such a fun 366 00:18:22,714 --> 00:18:29,974 exercise because It feels so good to like really love and appreciate people 367 00:18:29,974 --> 00:18:34,284 in real time and see their reaction and see them receive that from you. 368 00:18:34,509 --> 00:18:34,659 Fallon: mm-Hmm. 369 00:18:35,034 --> 00:18:39,664 Abby: And like the more you can do that, the more you can sprinkle that into your 370 00:18:39,664 --> 00:18:43,114 everyday life or like once a week, just like telling somebody in your life how 371 00:18:43,114 --> 00:18:45,974 much you love them or appreciate them or just notice something little that they're 372 00:18:45,974 --> 00:18:47,714 doing that's made a difference for you. 373 00:18:48,324 --> 00:18:51,254 Or maybe it's made a difference in their life. 374 00:18:51,314 --> 00:18:54,174 Like one of my friends, Carly, she always does such a good job. 375 00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:54,414 Sheldon. 376 00:18:55,389 --> 00:18:59,609 She always will send me stuff on, you know, like a, a message or if she 377 00:18:59,609 --> 00:19:03,709 reads one of my emails or newsletters or see something I post on Instagram, 378 00:19:03,719 --> 00:19:08,189 she's like, she's like, wow, that was so like, that was so insightful. 379 00:19:08,199 --> 00:19:08,809 Thank you. 380 00:19:08,869 --> 00:19:12,059 Like, I loved hearing that from you, or, you know, it's like so nice to 381 00:19:12,059 --> 00:19:15,409 get those little pockets of things that take two seconds to send to 382 00:19:15,409 --> 00:19:20,689 somebody, but it lands so beautifully and means so much to people. 383 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:21,569 Fallon: Yeah. 384 00:19:22,389 --> 00:19:23,019 I agree. 385 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:24,489 And we love Carly. 386 00:19:24,519 --> 00:19:25,419 She's just amazing. 387 00:19:25,419 --> 00:19:28,499 And she's so good about, she's so good about seeing, seeing 388 00:19:28,499 --> 00:19:31,229 you, seeing people like, and, and verbalizing it and sharing it. 389 00:19:31,744 --> 00:19:32,314 Abby: Yes. 390 00:19:32,699 --> 00:19:36,039 Fallon: Yeah, so my friend, Caitlin, who you also know, uh, 391 00:19:36,089 --> 00:19:37,459 sent me a Venmo this past week. 392 00:19:37,569 --> 00:19:38,789 And I've had a friend, Casey, do that. 393 00:19:38,809 --> 00:19:39,789 I've had a few friends do this. 394 00:19:39,819 --> 00:19:41,509 I'll just get a random Venmo for like 10 bucks. 395 00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:44,489 And Caitlin was like, I don't know, go buy tea or coffee or just go 396 00:19:44,489 --> 00:19:45,659 take care of yourself for a minute. 397 00:19:45,779 --> 00:19:49,319 And it was like, even that's a fun way to see somebody, even if it's not 398 00:19:49,319 --> 00:19:53,009 like, Hey, you're amazing in magic, but it's just like, I just, I'm thinking 399 00:19:53,019 --> 00:19:54,809 about you, like, go, go do this since 400 00:19:54,864 --> 00:19:56,594 Abby: and I want, I want to do something for 401 00:19:56,849 --> 00:19:57,319 Fallon: Yeah. 402 00:19:57,359 --> 00:19:57,709 Yeah. 403 00:19:57,709 --> 00:20:00,009 And also because it's like, if we were together, we'd probably go have 404 00:20:00,009 --> 00:20:01,409 coffee together, but she lives in Utah. 405 00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:02,159 I live in Florida. 406 00:20:02,229 --> 00:20:05,779 So it's kind of a fun little way to also just give somebody the nod, you 407 00:20:05,779 --> 00:20:06,949 know, like I'm thinking about you. 408 00:20:07,009 --> 00:20:07,629 I'm here. 409 00:20:07,699 --> 00:20:11,449 I know we don't talk a lot, but, or we can talk every day and still do it. 410 00:20:11,450 --> 00:20:12,029 It doesn't matter. 411 00:20:12,239 --> 00:20:12,599 So, 412 00:20:13,484 --> 00:20:13,864 Abby: Yeah. 413 00:20:14,494 --> 00:20:19,254 So I guess ask yourself how you can appreciate somebody, add a little, 414 00:20:19,274 --> 00:20:23,724 you know, sprinkle a little, a little bit more joy and magic and love into 415 00:20:23,724 --> 00:20:28,914 their life today or this week or this month and see how it makes you 416 00:20:28,914 --> 00:20:30,684 feel and see how it makes them feel. 417 00:20:31,079 --> 00:20:32,219 Fallon: yeah, I love that. 418 00:20:32,279 --> 00:20:33,669 And then also for yourself. 419 00:20:34,809 --> 00:20:37,849 Like, if that doesn't feel available yet to give it to somebody else, where 420 00:20:37,849 --> 00:20:40,269 can you sit down and really see you? 421 00:20:40,909 --> 00:20:44,569 Like, I am doing this, and I'm so grateful I get to do this, and I am 422 00:20:44,639 --> 00:20:48,849 a badass at this, and I'm magic here, and I'm beautiful, and I'm sexy, and 423 00:20:48,849 --> 00:20:52,649 I'm radiant, and whatever, whatever, you need to find what, what your 424 00:20:52,649 --> 00:20:54,239 body can get on board with, right? 425 00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:59,914 Um, and then from that space, you'll find it a lot easier to give that 426 00:20:59,914 --> 00:21:02,394 to others as well, or vice versa. 427 00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:03,864 Cause sometimes we can give it to others a lot easier than 428 00:21:03,864 --> 00:21:04,704 we can give it to ourselves. 429 00:21:04,784 --> 00:21:08,754 So maybe you give it to others first and let that be inspiration for yourself. 430 00:21:09,934 --> 00:21:10,294 Abby: Yeah. 431 00:21:10,354 --> 00:21:11,474 I mean, tune into your body. 432 00:21:11,474 --> 00:21:14,674 Like you guys know how to do from listening to us and from 433 00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:17,414 your own intuition of what would feel really needed. 434 00:21:17,959 --> 00:21:18,399 For you. 435 00:21:18,409 --> 00:21:21,429 Do you want to recognize something within you today, or do you want 436 00:21:21,429 --> 00:21:25,569 to recognize somebody else that you love just what comes up? 437 00:21:26,129 --> 00:21:27,699 What would feel really, really good. 438 00:21:29,899 --> 00:21:33,829 What gives you the warm, the warm fuzzies 439 00:21:37,249 --> 00:21:40,649 Fallon: Well, we love you and we see you and we appreciate you as our listeners 440 00:21:40,679 --> 00:21:46,069 and share this episode or share this podcast, um, and tag us when you do. 441 00:21:46,169 --> 00:21:46,779 Abby: tag us. 442 00:21:47,069 --> 00:21:52,189 And if, um, tell us what you did, if you want to, if you want to share who you 443 00:21:52,189 --> 00:21:55,899 reached out to, what you told them, what you told yourself, we'd love to hear it. 444 00:21:55,909 --> 00:21:56,879 We'd love to celebrate you. 445 00:21:57,269 --> 00:21:57,629 Fallon: Yeah. 446 00:21:57,629 --> 00:22:01,949 And you can even, if you decide to make a post or a story, like I want to see 447 00:22:02,239 --> 00:22:05,949 so and so or I love so and so, I love how they do this tag us in that too. 448 00:22:05,949 --> 00:22:09,719 So we can really like, you know, heart that and give that recognition as 449 00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:11,559 Abby: Love that. 450 00:22:12,419 --> 00:22:12,799 Yay. 451 00:22:14,229 --> 00:22:15,169 Fallon: quick and dirty 452 00:22:17,789 --> 00:22:20,429 Abby: All right, everybody have a beautiful, beautiful week. 453 00:22:20,499 --> 00:22:21,645 We will talk to you soon. 454 00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:22,639 Fallon: Bye.