Speaker 1: Welcome to beardless dick less me.
Speaker 2: I'm Kevin Smith and Harley Quinn Smith.
Speaker 1: All right, so holidays, we're coming up on a major one,
Speaker 1: uh in your world, like you're a big Halloween e
Speaker 1: We're like, I fuck, I love it, dude, this is Halloween.
Speaker 1: Jack Skellington's my god.
Speaker 2: I do think I said that recently.
Speaker 1: So I'm very familiar with uh, Halloween, and we'll work
Speaker 1: up to it and stuff. Trying to build my mic
Speaker 1: out a little bit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's going on.
Speaker 1: I'm always fondome with it because about people fucking and
Speaker 1: tell me it's not close to your face enough. One
Speaker 1: day I'll get them. I don't want to say anything
Speaker 1: about the mic because then will Will Wilkins is always
Speaker 1: like he listens and then he's just like, I've done bad.
Speaker 1: You've not done bad, Will, No, I'm just fucking just
Speaker 1: just fucking unsatisfied with the mic. Meant so, I'm kind
Speaker 1: of setting it up myself. It leans on things, and
Speaker 1: now I keep adding things where I'm like, oh, this
Speaker 1: will be a nice like here, let me try this,
Speaker 1: but now that's too far from my fucking well that's better.
Speaker 1: Oh my, I guess I should have done all this before. Okay,
Speaker 1: Halloween coming up and your emo fucking gothas self, of
Speaker 1: course is like fucking glove Halloween because it's when the
Speaker 1: darkness rises and when the spirits and smudges and witchcraft
Speaker 1: and but good witchcraft. But either way it don't matter
Speaker 1: because bappha met. Yeah, let's go to the top of
Speaker 1: the calendar and go down the holidays really yeah, and
Speaker 1: see what you've come to where you stand on.
Speaker 2: All that Oh my gosh, like passion or ration, but
Speaker 2: with the holidays.
Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, fu yeah, alright, fucking dumb and dumb. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: because literally, as I was saying this, in the back
Speaker 1: of my head, I was like, I did not prepare
Speaker 1: the love or shove. I forgot the name was passionate
Speaker 1: around so yes, so this whole fucking show is going
Speaker 1: to be, oh.
Speaker 2: My god, passion ration.
Speaker 1: Bring it and you get to explain each all right.
Speaker 1: Number one New Year's Eve, which really the end of
Speaker 1: the year.
Speaker 2: But yeah, what an interesting question there?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Interesting where I put it? Or interesting?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Would you put it at the beginning or the
Speaker 2: end of the year? I would put it at the.
Speaker 1: End, man, I guess, Yeah, you're right, all right, we'll
Speaker 1: save it to the all right, so then technically leaving
Speaker 1: off like an Arbor day and presidents and like that,
Speaker 1: and we like trees not president. I guess February. Then
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day is the first in the holiday calendar. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day, passion or ration?
Speaker 2: Passion?
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 2: I mean it's it's a sweet day, like obviously, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's a like harm holiday sort of situation very much,
Speaker 2: but it's also what's to hate?
Speaker 1: Do you? Did you guys exchange Valentines in class when
Speaker 1: you were a kid.
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I love that part?
Speaker 1: Did they? Everyone had to bring one for everybody? Okay?
Speaker 1: The reason your generation, our generation was traumatized and suffered,
Speaker 1: so your generation could get an appreciation to participate.
Speaker 2: So I could run.
Speaker 1: That they didn't have those rules for us when we
Speaker 1: were kids. Oh yeah, So you know there were kids
Speaker 1: that didn't get Valentine's that would bro Some of them
Speaker 1: grew up to become killers. Some of them grew up
Speaker 1: to be true villains. I think one of them was
Speaker 1: Lex Luthor and Bain. Honestly, you want to break a
Speaker 1: fucking kid?
Speaker 2: Oh that's really fucked think about it.
Speaker 3: They made that rule can I can?
Speaker 1: I do you? Can? I fuck your head? Even more so?
Speaker 4: No, me no, And that I'm going to.
Speaker 1: Is why I'm the real life dexter. And I kill
Speaker 1: people and I wrap them in plastic.
Speaker 3: She's rapped away. Was kind of wondering, Yeah, like was
Speaker 3: he what was he doing down there?
Speaker 2: What does he do at night?
Speaker 1: Kill people? To make up for the fact that I
Speaker 1: never got to fuck Valentine one year. I want to
Speaker 1: say it was fourth grade, but there were no rules
Speaker 1: back then. And mind you, I had given out a
Speaker 1: box of Valentine.
Speaker 2: Stop, I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking.
Speaker 1: Go, made sure everybody got one, oh my gold. So
Speaker 1: because of sad ass Charlie Brown, losers like your fat
Speaker 1: ass dad, that is why your generation the rules are
Speaker 1: everyone gets up. Otherwise we risk creating another Kevin Smith
Speaker 1: who wants that. Are you emotionally engaged in the story?
Speaker 1: Are you upset that I didn't get a Valentine when
Speaker 1: I was nine years old? Everything worked out? Bro? I here,
Speaker 1: can I take you back though? Think about this before
Speaker 1: you contained this, contained this. If I had gotten a
Speaker 1: Valentine at age nine or maybe two, the butterfly effect
Speaker 1: is perhaps you're never born. Think about it, the kid
Speaker 1: who didn't get the valentine would try harder to be
Speaker 1: liked and all that stuff that made me me and
Speaker 1: me being me makes you exist in the first place,
Speaker 1: because I wind up meeting somebody who's like I like
Speaker 1: all of this. I can work with this.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: So it's a matter of perspective. One could look at
Speaker 1: it and be like that nine year old Kevin did
Speaker 1: Smith didn't get a Valentine. I was not the only
Speaker 1: one in class probably, but you know, let's focus on me,
Speaker 1: because I believe my motto, you'll it'll be written on
Speaker 1: my gravestone. Let's focus on me.
Speaker 2: It was already fucking rough, and.
Speaker 3: You gave everyone that's what.
Speaker 1: Broke you liked you poor? Then add to it, mind you,
Speaker 1: this is fourth grade, This is me at nine. This
Speaker 1: is missveiling the teachers like the gut on you. Mister Smith.
Speaker 1: Nine was a bad year man, but survived. I survived it,
Speaker 1: I you know, and again like my ninth year in
Speaker 1: terms of something to survive. Imagine the rest of the world. Yeah,
Speaker 1: their kids who are like bribe to survive. A father
Speaker 1: punched the ship out, Like what were you surviving? So yeah,
Speaker 1: but yeah, trauma's trauma. They taught me that in the
Speaker 1: nut in the booby hatch, and the idea of not
Speaker 1: minimizing your trauma by being like, you know, well, I
Speaker 1: wasn't beaten, so I can't think this was bad, you know,
Speaker 1: being nine, not getting a violent Valentine, being nine, being
Speaker 1: told you're fat in front of your class. These are
Speaker 1: traumatic events that they are do their own unpacking, and
Speaker 1: I have unpacked them, and I'm cool with them now.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm not crying. But I'm like, I really
Speaker 1: a good one. But I do always think about, like,
Speaker 1: you know, because I was a beloved child, you know,
Speaker 1: within my home and whatnot, and in school I was
Speaker 1: well liked and what not. But what if, you know,
Speaker 1: that wasn't the case. What if I didn't have love
Speaker 1: and support? What if that instance of not getting a Valentine,
Speaker 1: which was rare, you know what I'm saying, It wasn't
Speaker 1: like every year I was like, oh my god, every
Speaker 1: year I was like Ralph Wickham.
Speaker 3: I chew, chew, you chew, cho choose.
Speaker 1: Me, haunting whatever, poor broken hearted girl quickly erases a
Speaker 1: name and hands me. But they didn't even do that.
Speaker 1: So no, but it shapes character, and that character winds
Speaker 1: up being who you are, and who you are winds
Speaker 1: up getting you laid, and who you lay winds up
Speaker 1: getting your kid.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's all part of your story.
Speaker 1: It really is. Man. So when you say, who don't
Speaker 1: like moln Time's day May When I go out on
Speaker 1: February fourteenth every year at night with a fucking pick
Speaker 1: axe and a minors fucking mask and hit all the
Speaker 1: proms and cut out teenage hearts.
Speaker 2: I was really only thinking of it from one perspective.
Speaker 1: I'm actually, you know what, I'm fucking confusing two movies,
Speaker 1: Valentine and My Bloody Valentine and prom Night, which I
Speaker 1: believe have both been remade by this point. In the eighties,
Speaker 1: they were so bad ass. We that's the eighties what
Speaker 1: you missed, and you're always like the fucking nineties. Man,
Speaker 1: fuck the nineties. In the eighties we had a horror
Speaker 1: movie for every.
Speaker 2: Holiday, Dude, that's pretty fired.
Speaker 1: Until no Thanksgiving. But then we got one of those
Speaker 1: recently and stuff.
Speaker 2: Did you see it?
Speaker 1: I did not, but I saw the trailer when it
Speaker 1: was part of Grindhouse, but I never saw the finished
Speaker 1: Was it just called Thanksgiving. But I like that it
Speaker 1: exists very much. Yeah, I feel CO signed it a
Speaker 1: thousand times and I will eventually get to watch it
Speaker 1: because I was at a horror con this weekend. I
Speaker 1: was at Horror in Cincinnati, and as they whisked me
Speaker 1: around the floor, I passed a poster, like a fan
Speaker 1: made poster for Thanksgiving, and the Pilgrim mask was on it,
Speaker 1: which you know, So that made me and it was
Speaker 1: it was weird that you mentioned we mentioned it because
Speaker 1: I guess it was buried in my subconscious and any
Speaker 1: of that.
Speaker 2: That's what led us to go through the holidays.
Speaker 3: That's true.
Speaker 1: So there it was. In short, the eighties were a
Speaker 1: good time for horror movies, and not all of us
Speaker 1: got Valentinee. But Valentine's Passion not ration.
Speaker 2: Well after for you after that story, I'm like.
Speaker 1: For me, it's ration. I'm the batman of Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: No nine year old boy is ever going to feel
Speaker 1: what I felt on that horrible day.
Speaker 5: Oh my God, together over yours, you really do couple.
Speaker 1: All right. So Valentine's Day is.
Speaker 2: February, uh huh, March Patty's.
Speaker 1: Day, Saint Patrick's Day a holiday that finds its origins
Speaker 1: in Catholicism.
Speaker 3: Saint Patrick's Day.
Speaker 1: Saint Patrick was a real guy, legendarily drove the snakes
Speaker 1: out of Orerelande. I don't know if that part's true,
Speaker 1: but yeah, he's their guy and my middle name. So
Speaker 1: Saint Patrick's Day has always been big in my world
Speaker 1: because my mom was always like, oh aren't your day Tiger?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 1: Yeah, mamily was always fucking so was the Patrick of
Speaker 1: it all, because there was no Saint Kevin's Day. If
Speaker 1: there was, it was celebrated within the church and.
Speaker 2: That was it birthday.
Speaker 1: But the Patrick things, she was like, at you, no
Speaker 1: wonder I wound up as an entertainer, something that had
Speaker 1: absolutely nothing to do with me. She was just like,
Speaker 1: it's yours. He celebrated. My mom believed in fucking celebrating
Speaker 1: oneself or at least others. I don't know how she
Speaker 1: feels betterrself, but she made me feel like I was valuable,
Speaker 1: you know, like I was. It's like I had something
Speaker 1: to offer without ever being like a stage mom who's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you should do a thing. Like she didn't believe in
Speaker 1: that sort of shit. She didn't believe it was possible.
Speaker 1: But she always made me feel Yeah, that's important. That's
Speaker 1: why I don't matter get you know who gave me
Speaker 1: a valenzie when I was nine, when I didn't get him.
Speaker 1: A class boy's best friend is his mother? Oh my
Speaker 1: god mother, no blood, oh godmother, Oh my god. All right,
Speaker 1: Saint Patrick still uh. In my world, it was always
Speaker 1: a passion. The older I got though, more of a
Speaker 1: ration because it's one of them drinking holidays where everybody's like,
Speaker 1: look's good, fucked up, let's get fucked up.
Speaker 2: It really is.
Speaker 1: And you know I have none against drinking. Drunks have
Speaker 1: a real hard time with and boil boy. Yeah, the
Speaker 1: fists go Swinginggora Saint Patrick's day. It traditionally gives a
Speaker 1: low fruit humorous like myself, the opportunity to employ the
Speaker 1: phrase Aaron gobralis. Oh so I say passion? Where do
Speaker 1: you stand?
Speaker 2: I say passion? When I was younger, your mom used
Speaker 2: to flip over my furniture, and that really did it
Speaker 2: for me. As if the leopard coun came and then
Speaker 2: Molder our dog, our sweet sweet boyd he would have
Speaker 2: yellow lab.
Speaker 1: We had Molder and Scully. We were big x files.
Speaker 1: But Molder is the one we're.
Speaker 2: Talking about her, he would have a piece of green
Speaker 2: ribbon in his mouth, like he almost caught.
Speaker 1: The trap was set when I started talking about holidays,
Speaker 1: because earlier today I was just like, I bet y'all
Speaker 1: get her to talk about the lepercaun shit, because I
Speaker 1: was like, maybe you could talk about like fairies, do
Speaker 1: you believe the leprecauns? At a leader to talk about
Speaker 1: the lepricam But I was like, you know what, holidays.
Speaker 2: You were just waiting for me to get here. Are
Speaker 2: we even going to go.
Speaker 1: Through the rest of the year quality content right here
Speaker 1: on a psychological level, now, that.
Speaker 2: Was honestly, like so awesome that that is like a
Speaker 2: standout memory from from my childhood. Yeah, the holidays done
Speaker 2: right here.
Speaker 1: We're credits done. That's true. Jennifer like was the one
Speaker 1: that was like, let's turn chairs upside down and ship
Speaker 1: like that and pretend there was a leper count because that,
Speaker 1: to me wasn't that wasn't like, you know again, Saint
Speaker 1: Patrick's day in our world was more about Saint Patrick,
Speaker 1: And yeah we had clovers and fucking leprechauns and shit,
Speaker 1: but like I didn't have some tradition of like we
Speaker 1: flipped chairs upset. So one day Jennifer is like, let's like, like,
Speaker 1: we'll put the chairs upside and say, like, the Leprecaun
Speaker 1: is here. So I had a green hockey jersey that
Speaker 1: I'd gotten from some place, and I was like, let's
Speaker 1: let's go one more, let's go one level more and stuff.
Speaker 1: So we cut a piece of it off to make
Speaker 1: it look like it was like his uh tails, you know, jacket,
Speaker 1: his coat tails, and then put it in Moulder's mouth,
Speaker 1: and Moulder, god bless him, was just like, I don't
Speaker 1: want this, don't eat it, just let it hang there.
Speaker 1: He's like, but I don't want it, and he kept
Speaker 1: looking it up. So we put it on, put it
Speaker 1: on him and stuff, and then we were like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, Harley, the Leprechaun has been here. Looked like
Speaker 1: the pool furniture, and it was the believa believable enough
Speaker 1: scenario for a kid, But even the kids still had
Speaker 1: a like turn for trips. I know, the evidence of
Speaker 1: like Molder caught a piece of a fuck the fuck
Speaker 1: unassailable physical crew of the existence. It really really won
Speaker 1: no doubt, and you were just like, because that get
Speaker 1: the little greedy little kid within her. It was just like,
Speaker 1: get a piece of the coat. You're once up closer
Speaker 1: to the money.
Speaker 2: My god, I was just like, oh my god, this
Speaker 2: is so goe.
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 2: It was very that was so fun.
Speaker 1: I got away for a couple of years. Man. Once
Speaker 1: Santa stopped existing, everybody, you know, suddenly it was like,
Speaker 1: what about the let ship?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: So passion or ration passion Patrick? So two passions should
Speaker 1: have instituted some sort of rule, like it has to
Speaker 1: be half and half. But you know what, there are
Speaker 1: no rules here. Yeah, you know what? And why am
Speaker 1: I ever going to live it? Limit or govern passion?
Speaker 1: Who the fuck am I the burgermeister, Meister Berger in
Speaker 1: a way?
Speaker 2: Beardless?
Speaker 1: Freedom country people, This is where you come from. Freedom
Speaker 1: and ship. This is the Alaska podcasts. Man, you're off
Speaker 1: the grid. You can you to human being and nobody
Speaker 1: will fucking know.
Speaker 2: All right, we're not saying that a March.
Speaker 1: Is Saint Patrick's day. Passion Passion next up April, which
Speaker 1: oftentimes does happen in March, but let's take it traditionally.
Speaker 1: It sometimes it does Easter Passion.
Speaker 2: Or ration, Wow, it's Cinnamon's Day.
Speaker 1: No, because you have a rabbit a bunny.
Speaker 2: It's a very special day.
Speaker 1: I can't tell you. I was at the aforementioned horror
Speaker 1: Hound convention. Guy gave me. I mean might have seen
Speaker 1: it on my desk. One of the most amazing gifts
Speaker 1: I've ever been given out of con People give you
Speaker 1: stuff all the times, lovely, but this dude took and
Speaker 1: created the mask, the test mask on three D printed
Speaker 1: test mask that is based on even used the words
Speaker 1: he goes It's like Ben Cooper mask from our childhood
Speaker 1: when we were kids. You have a plastic mask of
Speaker 1: our band around. It came in a box the clear
Speaker 1: cover self fame covers could see inside, and then a
Speaker 1: one piece outfit you stepped into and so tied in
Speaker 1: the back that usually, if you were lucky, it was
Speaker 1: the out for your character war if not, it was
Speaker 1: a picture of your character. Like I had a Hulk
Speaker 1: Ben Cooper mask, which was the Hulk mask, but the
Speaker 1: body had a picture of the Hulk like he was
Speaker 1: wearing a Hulk T shirt. So you're like, but in
Speaker 1: any event, one to sign one to keep this amazing
Speaker 1: fucking tusk mask where I'm like, you saw it right,
Speaker 1: gorgeous I said, dude, how many of these can you make?
Speaker 1: Because he's like I did in my spare time. I
Speaker 1: was like, how many of these can make a monk?
Speaker 1: I would buy these and sell them at the story,
Speaker 1: like these are fucking amazing, and ship he goes, well,
Speaker 1: I have a job, so I can only do like
Speaker 1: certain minute.
Speaker 3: I said what's your job?
Speaker 1: And he goes, I run a rescue bunny preserve And
Speaker 1: I was like what and he goes, yeah, he's gotta
Speaker 1: know your kid. Yeah. His organization is called something Harvey
Speaker 1: Friends of Harvey. I don't know, but Harvey is a
Speaker 1: common rabbit name because of at least for a generation
Speaker 1: or so, because of Jimmy Stewart's movie Harvey, the movie
Speaker 1: about the Invisible rabbit. So his rabbit was named Harvey.
Speaker 1: Harvey passed away, and he named his you know, rescue
Speaker 1: after Harvey. So naturally, I was like, how old was
Speaker 1: Harvey and he was like, well, we don't know. Because
Speaker 1: he was a rescue. He said, he changed his life.
Speaker 1: It's really touching, but he doesn't know his true age,
Speaker 1: just like you don't know Cinnamon's true.
Speaker 2: How long were they together?
Speaker 1: For many years? Let's just leave it at that never enough.
Speaker 2: You sound like me every single time. Every single time
Speaker 2: I tell people that Cinnamon is at least like eleven
Speaker 2: years old.
Speaker 1: She's got pushing double dick it is.
Speaker 3: Oh no, she's yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean we're approaching our decade anniversary.
Speaker 1: Are you serious?
Speaker 2: This December? December twenty sixth.
Speaker 1: December that's coming up in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna throw a party.
Speaker 1: That's incredible. Now. All I want in life are two things.
Speaker 1: My mom's cat to stay alive and your rabbit to
Speaker 1: stay alive.
Speaker 2: They will thank you so much.
Speaker 1: That is ten years and that rabbit was old when
Speaker 1: you got her. She came in here.
Speaker 2: Well as as busted rescue man over there said he, uh,
Speaker 2: he doesn't know how old Harvey was, and same, I
Speaker 2: don't know how old Sinnmon was. But they said she
Speaker 2: was two. But I'm like, how the fuck would you
Speaker 2: know that? Because she got surrendered to the shelter before
Speaker 2: that from a really abusive situation from a hoarder. But
Speaker 2: they said she was two, So there's a chance Simmon's
Speaker 2: like twelve goddamn years of two men. But wait, all
Speaker 2: they're gonna say, oh, where's this man's versus man's sanctuary
Speaker 2: and can't go.
Speaker 1: I don't know I have his Maggie got his cards,
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna write to him because I mean, I
Speaker 1: know you're interested in his bunny situation, but I'm like,
Speaker 1: more masks, more masks.
Speaker 2: Well, I can go for the bunnies, you can go
Speaker 2: for the mask, truly.
Speaker 1: But I thought you'd be heartened to hear about that organization.
Speaker 2: I am when I when I tell people that Cinnamon
Speaker 2: is over ten years old, They're like, how long do
Speaker 2: rabbits live? And I'm always like forever, good answer, forever, and.
Speaker 1: They're like, you know, okay, it's weird because with humans
Speaker 1: there's some weird unspoken expiration date. Like that's like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I got like seventy eight years to worry about this motherfucker.
Speaker 1: As if everybody makes it that far and stuff. You
Speaker 1: should treat everybody human and rabbit alike every damn day
Speaker 1: like a precious gift.
Speaker 2: Cinnamon is the greatest gift in my life.
Speaker 1: And Easter is a day of buddies.
Speaker 2: It is her appreciation day. So Easter passion, big passion,
Speaker 2: never ration, never, never ration on appreciation.
Speaker 1: For cinnamon unless it gets to Jesus yeah, because that's.
Speaker 2: Got aside. It's a day for rabbits, all right.
Speaker 1: Next one is May May, of course his Mother's day.
Speaker 2: Passionate, Yes, of course.
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, you got no choice, passion, and.
Speaker 1: One one day, if you ever choose to become a mom,
Speaker 1: you'll also be like fucking passion bitch. Like god damn,
Speaker 1: it would be nice to day for.
Speaker 2: Me, love to love to all the moms.
Speaker 1: Yeah. You know, if you'd ask me when I was
Speaker 1: a kid, I'd be.
Speaker 2: Like, so emo that guy from the interviews, the emo
Speaker 2: guy in the in the.
Speaker 3: The guy I've had enough of my mother.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Mommiy, that never happened. Yeah, what the
Speaker 2: help mommy?
Speaker 1: She at you. She conditioned me in such a way.
Speaker 1: I mean, I am co dependent because of Momily, So
Speaker 1: she broke me in such a way that, yeah, I
Speaker 1: would never not have Mammily involved in some way.
Speaker 2: Momiy was really really trying to set me up with
Speaker 2: her mail nurse.
Speaker 1: She kept quick phone call with my mom before we
Speaker 1: started the show, and she was really selling Harley on
Speaker 1: like I got a mail nurse here.
Speaker 2: She kept calling mailners with two c's fucking real. I
Speaker 2: was like, come on, you.
Speaker 1: Do remember Austin. She's like, yeah, well fucking this is
Speaker 1: a side piece Harley.
Speaker 2: And she forgets what she says. Sometimes she keeps.
Speaker 1: The idea of infidelity. Har Harley, fuck this guy. No, no,
Speaker 1: grandma Harley Harley, fuck my male nurse. That was the
Speaker 1: other thing she kept calling my mail nurse. I was like,
Speaker 1: you could probably just call him your nurse. Smile. He
Speaker 1: was very patient, and she's always like say hello, hello,
Speaker 1: and thank you for taking care of my mother.
Speaker 2: She said say hello to the same people, like over and.
Speaker 1: Over again, and then they're like, like, I heard you
Speaker 1: have a movie coming out. I was like, gee, I
Speaker 1: wonder who you heard it from. Like, yeah, she's my
Speaker 1: greatest publicist. Mother's Day passion, passion, and only a fucking
Speaker 1: animal would be rash. Come on, maybe not. Maybe somebody
Speaker 1: is like.
Speaker 2: I hated my mother, Well yeah, but just like in general,
Speaker 2: you know, sending sending love to the mom.
Speaker 1: The word probably like rah, yeah for sure, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: you know my stepmother. What a bitch.
Speaker 2: I cannot relate. What's so we will be moving on now.
Speaker 1: June his Father's Day. I never saw one of those cats.
Speaker 1: Every day is this day? So Father's Day historically in
Speaker 1: our world, I've always kind of like given over to
Speaker 1: Byron to Pop.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, po deserves appreciation whenever Pap can get here.
Speaker 2: He is a hero to us all but no passion.
Speaker 1: I loved my father, well I loved your father too,
Speaker 1: and I loved mine. But I never feel the the
Speaker 1: need to celebrate it. But I do like that it
Speaker 1: is a day we could recognize Byron, who is a
Speaker 1: hero of all of ours. So passion, passion, Jesus is
Speaker 1: gonna be hard to find a ration for holidays.
Speaker 2: There's one coming up next that, right, I really do
Speaker 2: not enjoy for the July.
Speaker 1: Oh that's coming up. Wait, that's so that's April, May, June.
Speaker 1: Is there anything in June now? Just the end of school? Wow,
Speaker 1: that's a holiday. Indeed, passion rasual.
Speaker 2: Look my birthday, passion my birthday, and.
Speaker 1: Like birthday everyday.
Speaker 2: I wish I was like one of the subtle and
Speaker 2: humble people who are like, I don't care about my birthday,
Speaker 2: but my birthday.
Speaker 1: I'm always just like, well, I guess we could do
Speaker 1: a show. It's marketable.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you always just try to work on your birthday.
Speaker 2: But I'm always like this goes the desert.
Speaker 1: You're more like Uncle Don my brother who birthday I share.
Speaker 1: I was born on his birthday when he was four
Speaker 1: years old. He is like, it's my birthday month like so,
Speaker 1: and our birthday is August second, so all long is
Speaker 1: to celebrate. True, he's doing it right. So your birthday,
Speaker 1: of course, passion. Now we are fourth of July.
Speaker 2: I really don't like fourth of July that, oh it's
Speaker 2: too loud, won't mean to poppy fireworks and I don't
Speaker 2: really like fireworks, and they're they're so scary for wildlife,
Speaker 2: and so whenever I like, whenever it's a fireworks holiday,
Speaker 2: I'm always.
Speaker 1: Just like thinking of the animals out there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so scary. Imagine you having no idea what
Speaker 2: it is and it's just all these loud sounds and
Speaker 2: then they're like running into ditch, into dangerous situations because
Speaker 2: they're scared. Are you yawning?
Speaker 1: I was suppressing an I was thinking of this thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not you. I just got up at like five
Speaker 1: in the morning, but I was thinking about this thing
Speaker 1: that I saw today on Instagram of somebody rescuers.
Speaker 3: Fox rescuers were parked.
Speaker 1: In like the woods and mill of knights that they
Speaker 1: had their fucking lights on, and these two fox kits
Speaker 1: came like running out, and the way they came running
Speaker 1: out was kind of a door.
Speaker 2: So cute.
Speaker 1: They are the kind of animals that would have been scared.
Speaker 1: But little baby foxes. That's what my head went to.
Speaker 1: When you're like, could you imagine most animals be like,
Speaker 1: I think I've got this down now, but a little
Speaker 1: baby fox kid the middle of nowhere.
Speaker 2: Like birds like flying, flying the buildings and ship because
Speaker 2: they're scared.
Speaker 1: Dogs usually go nuts. Ours done, Ours have been historically
Speaker 1: been pretty good. Lucky gets a little although Lucky gets
Speaker 1: unsettled when the wind blows the window. Lucky fight the wind.
Speaker 1: Lucky had a girl bite it, if you can so brief.
Speaker 1: So Fourth of July? What else? So there's fireworks, that is.
Speaker 2: It doesn't bring out my most favorite kind of people.
Speaker 3: I would say, is that right?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I just don't really do you drinking holiday?
Speaker 1: For sure?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: It really is. I've also just I have never had
Speaker 2: a good Fourth of July. Every year, I always feel
Speaker 2: like a pressure to do something, but I don't. I
Speaker 2: don't know what to to do it. When then every
Speaker 2: year I'm just I feel very uncomfortable all day.
Speaker 3: Just America.
Speaker 1: It's all about your mother's Jennifer loves Fourth of July.
Speaker 1: If we were here doing passion I ration, she would
Speaker 1: be like, oh, triple passion. She's very patriotic. I truly
Speaker 1: her dad and her grandfather served in the military, so
Speaker 1: she's very like Fourth of July. Well, yeah, in your camp,
Speaker 1: I'm more of a ration Fourth of July.
Speaker 2: Very grateful for all the brave people who have.
Speaker 3: Just absolutely throwing that out.
Speaker 2: There like she hates it. She's unappreciative.
Speaker 1: No, I'm just saying she Fourth of July has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with the military. You don't have to worry
Speaker 1: about that. But it's yeah, it's I'm not a big
Speaker 1: fireworks person. I'm like, yeah, I get it, ship blows
Speaker 1: up in the sky.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just don't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not my my on my back. And then
Speaker 1: add the drinking to it. And I like barbecues, but
Speaker 1: you don't need to wait for that day to do it.
Speaker 2: If I was invited to like some cool vegan barbecue.
Speaker 3: But I was.
Speaker 1: Just like your young dad not getting a Valentine at
Speaker 1: age nine. You were not invited to some vegan Fourth
Speaker 1: of July barbecue. But I like America very much. I
Speaker 1: love America and also fucking like I love the idea
Speaker 1: of Like, hey, America's got a birthday? What a concept?
Speaker 1: Yesterday was the two hundred and forty third birthday of
Speaker 1: Los Angeles.
Speaker 2: Really she's young, Yeah.
Speaker 1: She's pretty young, and she got a long asked name,
Speaker 1: real long yes name. But yeah, I'm more of a ration.
Speaker 1: Fourth of July kind of guy. August no real holiday
Speaker 1: except which I'm more of a ration my birthday kind
Speaker 1: of guy unless I can book a gig.
Speaker 2: I love your birthday.
Speaker 1: I thank my birthday directly leads to your birthday. So
Speaker 1: I don't like your birthday. What happens after September nothing?
Speaker 1: I mean, it's like, isn't it like labor day?
Speaker 2: Or yeah?
Speaker 1: But yeah, I like labor, the idea of the labor
Speaker 1: force and ship. I am doing labor, but I've been
Speaker 1: forced to do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, No, it was always.
Speaker 3: Cool like back to school, let's choose that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but Russian fucking so hard, Russian a good time
Speaker 2: in school? Fucking hated school so much?
Speaker 1: Really, now you're twenty five?
Speaker 2: Nightmares. I have nightmares frequently about school.
Speaker 1: Bro. You weren't fucking carry where they were like, plug
Speaker 1: it up, plug it up, plug it up, and dump
Speaker 1: pig's blood on your fucking head.
Speaker 2: It's true.
Speaker 1: I mean about I ain't taken away in the Olympics. Contest.
Speaker 1: Trauma's trauma? What is the what? What do they do?
Speaker 2: I just I just felt how.
Speaker 1: Could high school have been? Made it better for you?
Speaker 2: I felt like I really did not fit in where
Speaker 2: I went to school, an all girls college preparatory school.
Speaker 1: Would you have preferred to go to public school? I
Speaker 1: got roughed up, tough kids.
Speaker 2: That's a that's I'm obviously so grateful for the great
Speaker 2: education that came with the school I went to. It
Speaker 2: was just the people that went yeah, you know they Yeah, did.
Speaker 1: They make your life miserable?
Speaker 2: I just felt that I just felt very alone.
Speaker 3: Did you Yeah?
Speaker 2: I felt so long.
Speaker 3: And it was weird because my high school experience is completely.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you fucking thrived in high school. It was not
Speaker 2: one of those.
Speaker 1: People so much so that I was like, I want
Speaker 1: this to keep going, And I was like, film, that's
Speaker 1: kind of a way.
Speaker 3: To keep the party going. Trure, you have a point,
Speaker 3: all right, So ration.
Speaker 2: And goodbye back to school. Labor Day was awesome because
Speaker 2: it was like, who, no.
Speaker 1: School, no Memorial Day. Oh that's the good one in May.
Speaker 1: Other than Mother's Day. Memorial Day kicks off like summer vacation.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah yeah, Labor Day is back to school.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: So ration that shit, yeah so true.
Speaker 1: For a kid that didn't like school, I was happy.
Speaker 1: I was always happy to go back to school. I
Speaker 1: like the social aspect of it, and I also did
Speaker 1: like learning, although not at their pace and also not
Speaker 1: some of the things that they wanted to teach me.
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I'm not interested in the shit, but
Speaker 1: you know what, they gave me useful skills, not just
Speaker 1: the command of the language and basic mathematics, but like,
Speaker 1: I took typing my fucking sophomore year and high school.
Speaker 2: And you know, look at you now.
Speaker 1: All I do is fucking type man. But then again,
Speaker 1: we all became a nation of typists thanks to like
Speaker 1: texting and sit.
Speaker 2: Like that's true.
Speaker 1: All right, So we are in October, and that, of course,
Speaker 1: is the home of Harley Ween. Tell them how much
Speaker 1: you love Halloween, kiddo.
Speaker 2: I love Halloween more than any other day of the year.
Speaker 2: Is something about it just really really delights me to
Speaker 2: no end. I just love it so much. It's it
Speaker 2: was always so trigger. Treating was the best part of childhood,
Speaker 2: Like fuck, it was so fun.
Speaker 1: What what what about treating? Dressing up, going to the places,
Speaker 1: or the idea of getting something for nothing?
Speaker 2: I mean that part two.
Speaker 1: But I think I think it has a lot to
Speaker 1: do it with something for nothing based on like the
Speaker 1: rest of your life. You know, if somebody's like, here's
Speaker 1: a T shirt, like thanks, maybe I just love when
Speaker 1: it comes down.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's what it comes down to it.
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, you do. You and your mom. One time
Speaker 1: I went to a fucking.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I know what you're gonna say, because
Speaker 2: this was.
Speaker 1: This didn't even affect you personally, and still you haven't
Speaker 1: been believable. So we were at this. I went to
Speaker 1: this by myself. I went to this Goop event where
Speaker 1: I spoke about it after my heart attack. So I
Speaker 1: spoke about the heart attack and Jennifer, I think, was
Speaker 1: supposed to come with me or somebody else because they
Speaker 1: offered me two Goop bags.
Speaker 2: And you said you were going to say no to
Speaker 2: both of that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like, that's okay, And they're like you
Speaker 1: got to take one. Yeah, And so I was like
Speaker 1: all right. And when I got it home, rather than
Speaker 1: being like Sanity, oh, thank you forgetting this and giving
Speaker 1: it to me, instead when I was like, well, they
Speaker 1: offered me too, but I only took the one. I
Speaker 1: have been hearing about it for the better part of
Speaker 1: the last six years from not just my wife, but
Speaker 1: from my kid, like, she's right, dad, you know you
Speaker 1: shouldn't got goopyess, she's expective.
Speaker 2: A free group.
Speaker 5: Give back.
Speaker 6: Bro.
Speaker 1: You know, it was really swallowing my dignity and pride
Speaker 1: to take the one, Like I don't do that. I don't.
Speaker 2: Really do you take the free ship when the free
Speaker 2: ship comes.
Speaker 1: I'm not that guy, especially if it's not something I'm
Speaker 1: going to use. Like you know, I was like, I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't want any of this ship.
Speaker 1: I know, believe me going forward. If Goop ever, what
Speaker 1: are you doing?
Speaker 6: Wucky?
Speaker 2: Come on?
Speaker 1: She found a place where she wanted to be away
Speaker 1: from Bertie. I'm sorry Bertie, everyone a while you.
Speaker 3: Want to be near me.
Speaker 1: Bertie's got the look of a kid who didn't get
Speaker 1: a valance.
Speaker 5: I knew you were going to say that you are
Speaker 5: worthy Bertie.
Speaker 1: She did look to you and be like.
Speaker 2: Am I.
Speaker 1: The I I like Halloween and have traditionally, But I
Speaker 1: think it's charming that you go as hard for Halloween
Speaker 1: as you do.
Speaker 2: And always be fun. Bro, It's so.
Speaker 1: Fun, spooky fun, Bro, Harley Quinn's.
Speaker 2: Story, spooky fun is the best kind of fun. A
Speaker 2: little bit of cute spooky times. But then also like
Speaker 2: like Disney.
Speaker 1: Who wants to have cute spooky times? You're like, uh,
Speaker 1: fucking I want to watch Texas Chains, I'll mask You're
Speaker 1: like that cute spooky well.
Speaker 2: That also and I am gonna go do that?
Speaker 1: Are there.
Speaker 2: Cemetery?
Speaker 1: Is it a spectrum? Like? I know you are into
Speaker 1: cute spooky times, but like, are you also into like
Speaker 1: bloody splattery butchery times.
Speaker 2: As long as it's fictional. Yeah, horror movie, Yeah, I
Speaker 2: fucking love it. I I oh, I can't wait to
Speaker 2: go back to Horror Nights.
Speaker 1: So you did the Horror Nights thing and you were
Speaker 1: way into it.
Speaker 3: I did, my friend, arek Scary Farms about to start?
Speaker 2: I'm really trying to go. I really I can't wait. Actually,
Speaker 2: my friend Jillian works at Universal as a tour guide.
Speaker 2: So for the employe preview night. She brought me because
Speaker 2: I'm insane and have been watching I've been watching speculation
Speaker 2: videos about what war Nights was gonna be since June.
Speaker 3: Are you serious?
Speaker 2: I love it? I love it so much.
Speaker 1: If you don't follow, I mean you must, even if
Speaker 1: you're not, don't live near these two places. I assume
Speaker 1: they do it in Florida right at that Universal.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know what's so fucked up?
Speaker 1: The Universal Parks they do this these haunted horror Nights
Speaker 1: or Hollywood Hornet what was it.
Speaker 2: Called Halloween harn.
Speaker 1: Halloween horn Night, where they you know, outside of the
Speaker 1: park and in the.
Speaker 2: Park is not outside inside.
Speaker 1: Inside, everything's inside.
Speaker 2: It's all inside.
Speaker 1: Nothing on city walk and ship, it's all in the park.
Speaker 1: So you pay and you go in and it's all
Speaker 1: like one big fucking spooky haunt imagined type of thing
Speaker 1: or something.
Speaker 2: Really fucking scary mazes, really scary. Discount don't discount it is.
Speaker 1: Because really scary.
Speaker 2: It's so scary. But they do in Hollywood they do
Speaker 2: sounds so weird.
Speaker 1: To say, but at the Drugs.
Speaker 2: Yes, But in the Universal in Hollywood they bring the
Speaker 2: houses into the sound stages, which is still sick.
Speaker 1: Oh that's kind of cool. So you can't go, so
Speaker 1: you're you're not just going through like the park itself,
Speaker 1: but they actually bring you on too. A sound smart
Speaker 1: use of the like oh yeah, Like they'll do it
Speaker 1: until like mid November, even pasting.
Speaker 2: It's like November, is that what it is?
Speaker 1: But they'll start. When did they start? They started?
Speaker 2: No, Horror Nights started in September. September almost two full
Speaker 2: months Disney started.
Speaker 1: There's in August the really what that what's there called.
Speaker 2: Ooky Boogie Badge. It's lazy.
Speaker 1: And every year there's it's called the Bash.
Speaker 2: In California, Adventure in Disneyland, and then in Florida they
Speaker 2: do Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 2: Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party is a core ass
Speaker 2: memory for me from childhood, A distinct Momily you I I'm.
Speaker 1: You mom, and I think you went with Momily and
Speaker 1: and I think I don't think I was there.
Speaker 2: I think your core childhood memory is Grandma or mamily
Speaker 2: giving me a trick or treat bucket before we went.
Speaker 2: That was like a pumpkin. Mickey receiving that was a
Speaker 2: is a core memory and then standing outside Pirates of
Speaker 2: the Caribbean, there was like some photo op and there
Speaker 2: is a picture of it somewhere because I saw the
Speaker 2: picture and I was like, that's the core memory in
Speaker 2: my head?
Speaker 1: What we wear? You addresses?
Speaker 2: I feel like maybe Cinderella, which is.
Speaker 1: I remember those pictures, but.
Speaker 2: I think Cinderella. But yeah, that that that really leaves
Speaker 2: in my head.
Speaker 3: Whnt free forever?
Speaker 1: That's a scare. Halloween. Have you been back as an adult?
Speaker 2: No? No, No, I really want to so bad.
Speaker 1: So is it happening now?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's sold out. Hey you couldn't so.
Speaker 1: Wait if we go down and see mamily, you could
Speaker 1: go to Mickey's. Not so they do it every day.
Speaker 3: I don't think every day.
Speaker 2: Probably the weekend.
Speaker 1: There's a chance you could go because Uncle Don he's
Speaker 1: got the hookups. It's not like me. I don't know
Speaker 1: the cup when it comes to theme parks, but he
Speaker 1: sure does because you know he's just like you knew
Speaker 1: that person at worked to the universal. He's got that
Speaker 1: place wired well. So you can relive a core memory
Speaker 1: and ship.
Speaker 2: I'll be a fucking christ any Momy will give me
Speaker 2: a trick retreat bucket again, Like I need to.
Speaker 1: Hand me. Then was like, what, just do it? Core
Speaker 1: memory achieved unlocked. All right, So that's October and you
Speaker 1: live following, passion following, I have a passion following.
Speaker 3: I certainly don't feel rap really seems like it.
Speaker 1: I know, I never dress up. I've never like costumed.
Speaker 1: Come on bro, No, no, I won't come on bro.
Speaker 1: Why it's weird though that I haven't. You know, like,
Speaker 1: there's some people like Heidi Kloone takes it very seriously.
Speaker 2: She really does.
Speaker 1: She plans like fucking three years out and.
Speaker 2: Ship mad respect. Yeah, when she was a worm did
Speaker 2: you see that?
Speaker 1: Yes, that was disturbing. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: should recruit old Schwabach and be like you be Jay
Speaker 1: and I'll be silent, but I'm.
Speaker 2: Sure she'll be like.
Speaker 3: Finally, he asked, November is Thanksgiving?
Speaker 2: I mean not a very vegan friendly holiday.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right. So passion I ration.
Speaker 2: Love being love being thankful and recognizing gratitude, but we
Speaker 2: really don't love doing it around a dead fucking carcass.
Speaker 3: Good point. Good point, just saying.
Speaker 2: It seems pretty fucking hypocritical to be like taking the
Speaker 2: day to recognize the people in your life, you're thankful
Speaker 2: for anything in your life you're grateful for, and you're
Speaker 2: doing it around a dead body seems pretty fucked.
Speaker 1: Not everyone sees it as a dead body so much
Speaker 1: as a meal, But in respect for your point of
Speaker 1: view and whatnot, I to am a vegan and I
Speaker 1: too used to love I used to love Thanksgiving because
Speaker 1: that's my favorite meal on the planet that turkey and
Speaker 1: mash too. But after going vegan, yeah, there's not much
Speaker 1: there for me on Thanksgiving. We do, but but like
Speaker 1: I'm just not, like you know, we're.
Speaker 2: All.
Speaker 1: While the kid was growing up, we had Thanksgiving like
Speaker 1: literally four times a week in this house.
Speaker 2: It is also my favorite meal, but the vegan version
Speaker 2: hits just as hard for me.
Speaker 3: So did you like turkey back in the day, that
Speaker 3: was your thing?
Speaker 2: I just love like mashed potatoes and gravy and stuff
Speaker 2: like mash.
Speaker 3: Potatoes, bravy for sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they've never really gotten turkey down to science.
Speaker 3: There's some turkey adjacent things out there.
Speaker 1: I do, but mashed potatoes. Man Like Doomies make some
Speaker 1: mashed potatoes and brown gravy and that tastes just like
Speaker 1: it came from mister steak and my child. It's amazing
Speaker 1: you can but ration and then fine, well, no, there's
Speaker 1: two more.
Speaker 3: Christmas passion.
Speaker 1: You're a big Christmas kid.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I love Christmas.
Speaker 1: I'm not against it, but I'm not like an. I'm
Speaker 1: also not like ration, So I guess ultimately I am
Speaker 1: passion on it. But it's it's you know, and yeah more.
Speaker 1: Once you grew up, it was like, well, I guess
Speaker 1: that's it.
Speaker 2: That October through December for.
Speaker 1: Me, the entire holiday corridor, holiday corridor.
Speaker 2: I love when it's chilli. I love the holidays that
Speaker 2: happened and it's just a good time.
Speaker 1: So Christmas passion, passion, and then finally New Year's Eve.
Speaker 2: I it falls a little bit in the same category
Speaker 2: as Fourth of July for me.
Speaker 1: I I what I did to get away from like
Speaker 1: drinkers and drinking and ship like that drunks, was go
Speaker 1: head first into a place where everyone's drunk. So I
Speaker 1: tend to work on New Year's Eve like we you know,
Speaker 1: me and Ralph. It's yeah, it's marketable and and that
Speaker 1: was a way for me to engage with the holiday
Speaker 1: in a way I never would personally at home. You know,
Speaker 1: I hated going to parties when I was a kid
Speaker 1: and it was like mandatory and shit like that. So
Speaker 1: as an adult, like you know, I don't want to
Speaker 1: engage in that if I don't want to, I don't
Speaker 1: want to party, but I don't want mind being around people.
Speaker 1: And also once again opportunity, like some people want a
Speaker 1: place to go, and Babylon's like New Year's Babylieve, for
Speaker 1: a long time, ten years straight was a place that
Speaker 1: they went so as a holiday in and of itself ration,
Speaker 1: but as a working day passion. If I'm working and
Speaker 1: work on the last New Year's but I've worked almost
Speaker 1: every New Year's Eve prior.
Speaker 3: To the doing a show.
Speaker 2: You too love to work on a holiday.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just so orthodox unorthodox, right, Like I always
Speaker 1: like to, you know, view as cue. So just like
Speaker 1: what is everyone else doing? I'd like to swim against
Speaker 1: that stream, but not in the shitty kind of like
Speaker 1: you know, performance artist kind of.
Speaker 3: I'm challenging your notions.
Speaker 2: Also, the worth that the work ethic is admirable for sure.
Speaker 1: Thank you. It's true.
Speaker 3: It's true.
Speaker 1: It is work at the end of the day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very admirable. You're like you're doing something productive
Speaker 2: when most people are partying. But also I'm always.
Speaker 1: Because I don't know how to party. Nobody ever taught me.
Speaker 1: I had a child opening that I could fucking change
Speaker 1: or make up for all the fucking teenage like haphazard,
Speaker 1: you know, party to them that I missed when I
Speaker 1: was a teenager, which I did. I partied, but I
Speaker 1: thought i'd fucking get to party with you.
Speaker 2: But you you weren't, like, were you really?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like this will be fun, I'll get to
Speaker 1: do it all again, and kind of like through her perspective,
Speaker 1: but you have different much different you.
Speaker 2: Wanted You were looking to party again.
Speaker 1: I wanted to ship faced with teenagers. Yeah no, but
Speaker 1: I love the energy. I'll be honest with you. I
Speaker 1: was driving around someplace where was I was in Jersey
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago, and I passed a bunch
Speaker 1: of kids like going to clearly going to somebody's house
Speaker 1: for a fucking keger or something like that.
Speaker 2: You're like.
Speaker 1: I was talking to Malcolm and I was like, I
Speaker 1: really like feel like and he goes, I dare you,
Speaker 1: I dare you to walk into some teenager's fucking keger
Speaker 1: and tell them you missed the old days?
Speaker 2: Could you imagine to pick you up from me?
Speaker 1: Who are you? Like? Is this Kevin smith Man? And
Speaker 1: are you familiar with the Clerks movies? I'm sure my
Speaker 1: dad that is to bring them out here.
Speaker 2: It doesn't give you the right to straight up waltz
Speaker 2: in the someone's.
Speaker 1: Use a license?
Speaker 2: Did that to me?
Speaker 3: Though?
Speaker 1: What do you mean.
Speaker 2: Somebody in my neighborhood one time for a party we had?
Speaker 2: I guess we do have parties sometimes fu for.
Speaker 1: The July and New Year's even parties them at my house.
Speaker 1: I like?
Speaker 2: Do like parties? I do? I like? I definitely like
Speaker 2: New Year's Eve way better than for the July. But
Speaker 2: because of the renewal of it all, for the end
Speaker 2: of it all, I love that it feels good.
Speaker 1: But who don't like that fucking banger of a song?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: I will? And the New Year's song? You don't know
Speaker 1: that song?
Speaker 2: I don't think I am familiar with the.
Speaker 1: New Year's When the fucking balloons drop, when when the
Speaker 1: all drops, and then they're like, happy New Year. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: it's called old lying on. Yeah, that's what makes it
Speaker 1: a banger.
Speaker 3: It's real emotional and ship it is kind of.
Speaker 2: But I feel like going into the New Year's be like, whoa,
Speaker 2: it's and this is kind of sad. I guess it
Speaker 2: should be like good vibes and instead of.
Speaker 1: In the USA, Yeah for real, ne Rend said, but we.
Speaker 2: Need we need to be hype and going to the
Speaker 2: next day.
Speaker 1: Let's make the new New Year's song by Bobby.
Speaker 3: Boot and say, and it's Disney.
Speaker 1: All right, Well there it is, fucking holidays passioned and ration.
Speaker 2: There it really is.
Speaker 1: There's your fucking there's your beardless pickless men. You're like,
Speaker 1: I wonder what they're going to get into this week?
Speaker 1: Oh the calendar. Oh we had to watch her cry
Speaker 1: about how our father didn't get fucking balancines when he
Speaker 1: was nine. Well, oh my god, fucking she really hates Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: She brought up the word dead carcass eight times.
Speaker 2: We're really giving the people what they want that we're
Speaker 2: going to get to.
Speaker 1: That was that girl's podcast. Oh my god, I'm your daddy.
Speaker 2: No you ask every single week, come on out.
Speaker 1: She's my daddy. No, call me daddy so close, call
Speaker 1: her daddy. Yes, within five tries, there you go. I
Speaker 1: want to get that call her daddy money We're not
Speaker 1: going to get there by being like shad.
Speaker 2: Oh god, what the fuck are we doing seeing the
Speaker 2: New Year's song talking about dead Carcass's Fuck?
Speaker 1: What do we expect is family podcasting at his post?
Speaker 1: That's another episode a beardless, stickless man. I'm Kevin Smith and.
Speaker 2: I'm Harley Quinn Smith.
Speaker 1: Tune in next week.
Speaker 2: Wait, maybe should people people tweet at you what they.
Speaker 1: Want to hear, what they want to talk about. You
Speaker 1: can't like we want How about if they tweet? If
Speaker 1: I give him that opportunity and they tweet, why don't
Speaker 1: you guys just both funck the hell off?
Speaker 2: The people already on the podcast reviews.
Speaker 1: Don't read their reviews. Why would you do that?
Speaker 2: Do that fucking ruined my night?
Speaker 1: Such a waste of time. Are you having a good time? Yeah,
Speaker 1: never look at the fucking review unless the review unless
Speaker 1: they're like, you know, this is the brand new call
Speaker 1: her Daddy, Then tell me that's trying to market that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh my gosh, you're making so much.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't it be amazing to make that kind of money
Speaker 1: off a fucking podcast? Like how about you have some
Speaker 1: guests or talking about something more current than like, gee,
Speaker 1: what holiday. You're like the softest fucking NPR about Mickey's
Speaker 1: not so scary all the way for making plans to
Speaker 1: go at five fucking Jesus, there's a very small audience
Speaker 1: in this podcast.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe someone, Maybe this shit's for someone.
Speaker 3: We'll get there, we'll figure it out.
Speaker 1: Persistence for beardless stickless ma'am.
Speaker 2: Kevin Smith and Marley Quinn Smith have a.
Speaker 1: Beardless stickless day. That's that's how we get to the
Speaker 1: caller Daddy. Yeah, go have a beardless stickless day. Put
Speaker 1: down on a shirt. Speaking of shirts, I know we're done,
Speaker 1: but what is the fucking thing where you sell clothes?
Speaker 2: Was so true?
Speaker 1: Throw it out there, because we don't make any more
Speaker 1: of yours. You gotta augment somehow.
Speaker 2: Oh it's on deep Hop.
Speaker 1: And how does one get to deep Hop And what
Speaker 1: are you selling?
Speaker 2: Deepop is an app? And I sell my clothes. I
Speaker 2: sell my vintage clothes.
Speaker 1: And how so if if somebody wants to wear I
Speaker 1: want to wear her skin, well we're not selling that.
Speaker 1: But if you want to wear my.
Speaker 2: Fine vintage and thrifting is a huge, huge passion of mine,
Speaker 2: and so I'm just continuing the cycle. And uh, also
Speaker 2: trying to make money on the side.
Speaker 1: Fifting is a big passion of mine, especially if I
Speaker 1: can make a follow. So where how do they find you?
Speaker 1: On deep Hop?
Speaker 2: It's my name, Harley Quinn Smith.
Speaker 3: It's your name, all right, So there you go.
Speaker 1: If you're listening and you're like, I'd wear this.
Speaker 3: Fucking chicks clothes, You're gonna have a chance.
Speaker 1: To do anything else up there?
Speaker 3: How about it?
Speaker 1: First stop deepop, last stop only fans, not yet, but.
Speaker 2: My Instagram subscribers, you.
Speaker 1: Got one of those?
Speaker 3: What is that? Just?
Speaker 1: What's your Instagram? First off? Tell me your Instagram.
Speaker 2: Mine once again, my name is Harley Quinn Smith.
Speaker 1: Is all one word, no gaps or anything like that.
Speaker 2: No, har Oh my god. I was shadow Band even
Speaker 2: though that episode's ton just a quick story. I found
Speaker 2: out I was fucking shadow Band because of a post
Speaker 2: of like a carousel post that included a picture of
Speaker 2: Austin in a parking lot out of Meg the Stallion
Speaker 2: concert with his pants down, and.
Speaker 1: They were like, you can't post disgusting things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then I found out it was flagged. And
Speaker 2: so because someone that I had met the other day
Speaker 2: asked for my Instagram and so I went to put
Speaker 2: it in and my fucking thing would not come up,
Speaker 2: But like other accounts with like pictures of like fan
Speaker 2: accounts came up, and I was like, why are these
Speaker 2: coming up in.
Speaker 1: Teaching? He said you he really fucking did.
Speaker 2: I was like, wait what? And then I found out
Speaker 2: I found this section of Instagram that was really hiding
Speaker 2: the fact that my ship was flagged and so you
Speaker 2: couldn't look my encounter.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm sorry, but I thought it was an inappropriate
Speaker 1: image to the good folks on Instagram, and they did
Speaker 1: what they do.
Speaker 2: I'm going to point out yours.
Speaker 1: What is that? So they can find you with Harley
Speaker 1: Quinn's ben Yes, and they can follow you like an
Speaker 1: Only fans.
Speaker 3: It's like a junior version of Only Junior one.
Speaker 1: And they get extra content and ship. How many followers
Speaker 1: you got?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 1: You know, skip that question. Have any of your followers
Speaker 1: been like, great, where are the tits? You've gotten that already? Yes, Yes,
Speaker 1: this is me and my Penny Cinnamon. Show us your tests,
Speaker 1: show us the tits.
Speaker 2: We got to see a tit here, not cinnamons tits.
Speaker 1: For you, Mom, little steps.
Speaker 2: She feels bad for me, she.
Speaker 1: Does. She's like to try to take the heat off you.
Speaker 1: She's like, look at these.
Speaker 2: I couldn't provide enough person and then she had to
Speaker 2: step in, so fucking depressing, bro I thought my life
Speaker 2: was gonna be different.
Speaker 1: Sure, you gotta be careful. This is when people turn
Speaker 1: to the needle and ship like that. You're like, can't
Speaker 1: provide for my bunny. She showed her tents on the
Speaker 1: fucking only fans, not even.
Speaker 2: Not even as school as only fans fucking Instean subscribers.
Speaker 1: Man was like five hundred thousand a year doing like
Speaker 1: cheesecake shots with your rabbit on only fans, so like
Speaker 1: we want you there, Like, look, we want nudes, but
Speaker 1: if you're not willing to do that, tasteful dudes, when
Speaker 1: you hold the rabbit.
Speaker 2: Over you with my elderly rabbit, I want to bring
Speaker 2: cinnamon into that.
Speaker 1: They howl rabbit. Most people follow it.
Speaker 2: They don't follow that closely, So it's not for the
Speaker 2: market of my only fans don't know how old cinnamon is.
Speaker 1: It's more like burlesque. So you're naked, but the rabbit
Speaker 1: and the cats cover every fucking part.
Speaker 2: How much did he say?
Speaker 1: Five five hundred thousand dollars a year fucking periodswer, Wait,
Speaker 1: you're gonna get the cat to stay there?
Speaker 2: I'll figure out the fucking physics.
Speaker 1: Call you fucking stay, don't move here go? Are you
Speaker 1: kidding me? No question about it? Bro figured it out,
Speaker 1: figured them out.
Speaker 2: Maybe not Carl better fucking work for that.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Which is the biggest Which is the
Speaker 1: biggest animal? That would be cinnamon? Move alright, So he's
Speaker 1: the one you want, funny goods, the one that sounds like.
Speaker 6: Privates step out in front of me, Mommy will see
Speaker 6: your prim did you make Mommy, you've involved me in pornography?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, shut up?
Speaker 1: Moved five hundred thousand, Mommy, can I show mine? Look
Speaker 1: at this? Look at this buck.
Speaker 2: It makes me so sad when they're crying, when they're
Speaker 2: crying about it.
Speaker 3: Step for money, Oh my god, so sad I can provide.
Speaker 1: Then you got how many? You got four cats, one rabbit,
Speaker 1: all five of them doing the two steps for money?
Speaker 1: That's pretty solid income, you know, think about it.
Speaker 2: Also, sign they just updated the Country Bear Jamboree at
Speaker 2: disney World and the New Bears. I know, just ignore
Speaker 2: that first part. And how fucking murdy it was founding
Speaker 2: exactly like move.
Speaker 3: They sound like it's actually in the country.
Speaker 2: It's actually insane.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like fucking she was just on the verges, joining
Speaker 1: only fans, fucking some semimmunity, and then she started talking
Speaker 1: about them Country Bears.
Speaker 2: Such a fucking loser.
Speaker 1: Bro. I don't know about loser, but such a loser.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, I.
Speaker 2: Think about the fucking country bear Jamber.
Speaker 1: Twenty five year old. What's young Hollywood up to these days?
Speaker 1: Do you know what they're adding to the Bears that
Speaker 1: sounds like my cat? I don't know. That's a cool right, yes,
Speaker 1: a really depressing note. I don't know. Maybe laugh.
Speaker 3: There.
Speaker 1: It is Bears the stick with Me.
Speaker 3: I'm Kevin Smith, Harley Quinn Smith.
Speaker 1: Go have a beardless stick with day.
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Speaker 7: our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey kids,
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Speaker 7: We've got tons more man thousands of hours of podcasts
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