INT. SHARKEY’S PLACE - MORNING Sandra is there by herself, selling coffee as people, entirely men, come and go. Instead of any fashionable clothes, she has sensible jeans, t-shirt and a flannel shirt. Very Maine, with her hair in a clip. Aiden and Caiden come by. AIDEN Sandra, howaya? SANDRA Aiden. Coffee? AIDEN Black, two sugars. SANDRA Two dollars. Caiden? CAIDEN I like my coffee like I like my women. SANDRA Hot and black? CAIDEN Opaque, bitter and with a whiff of the roaster. SANDRA So... CAIDEN Just black, thanks. SANDRA Two bucks. AIDEN Aw, this is good. Is this the same as Myra made? SANDRA Last of her batch. Then it’s back to Folgers. CAIDEN I can get that at the Honker. SANDRA You can get a lot of things at the Honker. CAIDEN But now that you’re split with Vlad the Impaler, maybe I could get your number. We could enjoy some Mainer hospitality. SANDRA Where, at the Squid? CAIDEN I’ve been making some changes. AIDEN We’re classing it up. CAIDEN First up is a new vision of the seasonal salad bar. SANDRA I’m sure that will be a hit with the deckhands and boatmen of the area. CAIDEN Well... appealing to the local taste is a topic we’ve discussed amply. AIDEN And we think we have an angle that has some... CAIDEN Traction. AIDEN Pickling. SANDRA Pickling? CAIDEN The robust appetites and strong flavor preferences... AIDEN Hereabout, CAIDEN Are complimented and satisfied, with robust flavors. AIDEN Strong tastes. CAIDEN Challenging textures. AIDEN Like Grape-Nuts. Strong flavor. CAIDEN Challenging texture. AIDEN It’s needed. SANDRA Right. So.... CAIDEN So we are coordinating with our provisioner... AIDEN Sam. SANDRA The Butcher? AIDEN The Butchah! CAIDEN To bring in seasonal prah-duce, such as beets, turnips and rutabagahrs, for spicing and pickling. Typically in vinegar and salt. AIDEN But also, rum-carrots. Tequila turnips. SANDRA Eww! CAIDEN We are seeking to go beyond the common Maine café-style of bland and overcooked veg. AIDEN And overlooked veg. CAIDEN To offer bright, strong flavors. AIDEN With challenging, even difficult, textures. CAIDEN Like Grape-Nuts. SANDRA What’s this with the Grape-Nuts? What did they do to you? AIDEN Our research shows that the most popular pie recipes in Maine have Grape-Nut toppings or crust. CAIDEN This is our benchmahrk. SANDRA I’ve had blueberry pie with Grape-Nut crust, now you mention it, at Sunrise. AIDEN Bar Harbor. Arguably, the best in the Northern Kingdom. CAIDEN With reservations. AIDEN Decidedly. CAIDEN The blueberries are often canned, when out of season. AIDEN So there you go. Syrup. SANDRA So the Inky Squid is expanding the menu. First time since, I don’t know when. CAIDEN Since we added shrimp. SANDRA That’s right! What was that five, six years ago? AIDEN Eight. Caiden brought it up with Turbo when we signed on. CAIDEN Classic item. Now our top seller. SANDRA But the shrimp is frozen, right? AIDEN To be consistent, year-round, we have to compromise and use frozen shrimp. Very reliable product. SANDRA But you guys serve those great big ones. That’s not local, Maine-coastal shrimp. Those are little, when you can get ‘em. CAIDEN Argentina. Giant Pinks. AIDEN Very reliable product. Top seller. SANDRA And now you’re going to add pickled beets. AIDEN Right. CAIDEN Take things in a new direction. SANDRA I hear what you are saying but, I don’t know, are you going to make more money, more profit, selling turnips? Why not just keep selling South American shrimp. AIDEN We have to explore our artistic expressions. CAIDEN It’s not about us, not really. We’re thinking about how we can affect future generations, to be an inspiration for young people. AIDEN All over the globe. SANDRA I see. Well, good luck to ya, boys! I’ve got to make some more coffee. Sandra moves back to get some more coffee brewing. CAIDEN I don’t know if she’s right, or just not convinced. AIDEN Women are funny. You can never tell what they are thinking. CAIDEN And if you ask... AIDEN Oh-Ho! If you ask! CAIDEN If you ask, then a million questions! AIDEN “You weren’t listening, were you!” CAIDEN “Why can’t you read my mind?!” AIDEN Ah-ha-ha! CAIDEN Ha-ha! AIDEN (chuckling) Listen, I think we’re charting a new path, blazing a new culinary trail, here on the coast of Maine. CAIDEN It won’t take long for the big food-industrial-complex to take note of what we are doing in Milbridge. AIDEN The foodies will mark it with a star on the map. CAIDEN Milbridge: off the path, but cutting edge. AIDEN The nattering-nabobs. CAIDEN It’s not really a crusade, but... AIDEN It feels like one. Sandra returns to the table. SANDRA Need a re-fill before you go? AIDEN Sure. CAIDEN Where’s Kirini? She’s usually on the coffee shift. SANDRA She texted. She said she was feeling blue. AIDEN What’s that mean? SANDRA (sharply) It means she’s not coming in, that’s what it means! CAIDEN So you running the show yourself? SANDRA Covering the bases, you know. AIDEN So no more lunch? CAIDEN No more Myra? SANDRA Look around. You see Myra? Me neither. AIDEN Is it true she’s back with Glenn? SANDRA Who knows? Nobody tells me anything. CAIDEN Is it true that she’s in charge at the Hyatt Harbortown? SANDRA I don’t know! Quit asking me. AIDEN Alright, alright. Easy. CAIDEN Sandra, if I may say, you look particularly lovely in this pale morning light. SANDRA You saying I look pale? Beat it! The both of ya! She shoos them up and towards the door. CAIDEN No! No. You appear vibrant and colorful, compared to the wan light of the weak sunrise. SANDRA Ok. Sure. Thank you, Caiden. And good luck with your pickles. AIDEN Good morning, Sandra. CAIDEN Good morning. SANDRA Good day to you both. See ya. They get to the door SANDRA And, hey! Thanks for stopping by. I know the beets and turnips are going to be a hit. CAIDEN Thank you, Sandy. Aiden and Caiden exit. Sandra wipes down the tables, serves more coffee and collects more money at the cash register. INT. SHARKEY’S PLACE - EVENING The place is half-full, with Sandra and Elsa working the room. Boots is in her place with a Maine Hurricane. SANDRA Els, beers, table six. ELSA On it. SANDRA (to Boots) She’s good. I gotta say. Hahd worker. BOOTS Is she like an assistant? SANDRA Assistant? No, she works here. BOOTS Or an apprentice? SANDRA What d’ya mean? BOOTS It’s clear she looks up to you. You are a notable personage in town. She is, no doubt, in your thrall. SANDRA My thrall? Sure. I just want her to learn the ropes, not get her head turned by the local watermen. She’s too good for these dopes. BOOTS And you? Are you too good too? SANDRA Hahd to say. Cause, you never know. BOOTS Ha! That’s what I love about you. Always an optimist. Another ray of sunshine coming, just wait ‘til morning! SANDRA Is that what you like about me? Here I figured it was just my special way with the cocktail shaker. BOOTS Well, nothing over-taxing in a Maine Hurricane. Kiri whipped that up in a jiffy. She’s a real pro. SANDRA Yeah? But I make it for you too. Just as good, right? BOOTS And I am grateful! But Kirini has these wild sparks of imagination! And I am grateful! SANDRA But mine’s just as good. Same everything. BOOTS Yes, dear, yours is just as good. But Kiri has that magic touch. You know what I’m saying. SANDRA Yeah. I get it. Sure. Kirini’s got magic and I got tits. BOOTS Indeed you do! Indeed you do. An impressive bosom that I am sure has served you well. Paved the way, as it were, for the attention and adulation of the local fisher-folk. SANDRA Yep. That’s me. All adulation. And now the young stuff is grabbing my spotlight. BOOTS Oh, it’s not her grabbing the light. It is her irresistible power, whether she knows it or not, of youth and beauty. With youth, we are wanted. With beauty, we are desired! And with age, we have the wit to see the petty abuses when the attention, inevitably, turns away, and follows the new hatchling, with her bright feathers and clear breast. And we, old hens, cluck and scratch, like so many chickens in the yard. We wait our turn, for the broiling pan, not the marriage bed. SANDRA Jesus, Boots! Slow down. You’re spiraling. You’re bumming me out. Elsa joins in. ELSA The boys at table six are such jerks. They keep staring at me. BOOTS They are not staring at you, dearest. They are staring at what they want you to be. ELSA What’s that? SANDRA You don’t want to know. And, Boots, I don’t want you to tell her. BOOTS What? It is all illusion. You know that. It’s your stock and trade. The illusion of affection. SANDRA It is effective for tips, I will say. BOOTS The boys, the men, they want you to be their mother, telling them they are good boys. ELSA Their mother? BOOTS They want you to be their lover, telling him that you are overwhelmed with his masculine power. SANDRA If that’s what you call it... ELSA What? SANDRA They want you to be their companion, the muse, the goddess, the whore, the nun, the girl next door. All of it. ELSA But what do I do? BOOTS Sandra, this is your department. SANDRA Hmmm... ELSA What do I do? SANDRA Honey, she’s right. The men, they want you to be all of those things. ELSA But I can’t! SANDRA Nobody can. Nobody ever could be. ELSA So what do I do? What do I say? SANDRA Ok, here are my rules. They want to look at my ass, let ‘em look. They want me to smile at them, so I look them right in the eyes, and smile. But no touching. This is not Hooters or the Olive Garden. Say their names. Listen and remember the names. Another beer for you, Julio? How about a cold one, Henry? It matters that I recognize them. They come back when we acknowledge and recognize them. We want them to come back. BOOTS Mostly to check out your derrière. SANDRA If that’s what brings ‘em back, then give it to ‘em. They come off the water, which is a world of danger, and come here for cold beer and some companionship. That’s what we have to deliver. BOOTS Cold beer. ELSA And companionship. SANDRA Got it? ELSA On it. Elsa grabs a tray full of beer mugs and swivels through the room. BOOTS That was a good speech. SANDRA Heh! What do you think, am I management-material? BOOTS You’re ready for a position in leadership. SANDRA Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that. BOOTS Oh, how? SANDRA Kiri’s been in bed for a few days. She just doesn’t want to get up. BOOTS Is she sick? SANDRA I don’t think so, not like any disease. Just, you know, blue. BOOTS I’ll swing by tomorrow and see her. I didn’t know. SANDRA And I’ve been woman-ing the shop but it’s got me thinking. BOOTS About woman-ing? SANDRA Heh! I think I’ve got that part. No, thinking about running the place, being the manager. BOOTS You eyeing a promotion? SANDRA That’s just it. I’m thinking, I don’t want hours like this. Pouring coffee at day-break. Pouring beer until after midnight. Cleaning up. Cashing out. It’s too much. I don’t think I want to do that. BOOTS Why is it an issue? Surely, Kiri will be back on her wheels in a couple of days. SANDRA Right, and I can handle it until she gets back but I’m thinking long-term. Or I was. BOOTS What do you mean? SANDRA Myra and Kirini had some plan cooked-up to open a place in Bangor. BOOTS Eh, I get it. Bigger market. More ambition. SANDRA But Kirini got freaked out by the big tuna-lunch event. She made a bucket of money, which she split with us, but she changed after that. She said she didn’t want that kind of place. BOOTS What kind of place? Successful? Profitable? SANDRA She said she wanted a reasonable business, not one where every day was super-busy. BOOTS And you? Where do you fit in? SANDRA That’s just it. Here I was, thinking that I’d bump up to manager. I’ve never been the manager. I’d be the boss, see. And the boss is in charge. I was ready for that. BOOTS To be the boss? That’s the grand illusion. It just means you are responsible for everything else, everything that the staff doesn’t handle for you. SANDRA Right. And now I’m thinking, I don’t want that. It’s like a prison, made-out-of responsibility. And I’m not a responsible person! I’m not. BOOTS Of course you are. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here. If you wanted, you could turn off the light, close the door, and go home. Or go back to New York. You don’t have to be here. But you are. Because you care. SANDRA Because I care, huh? BOOTS About Sharkey’s. About Sharkey. About Georgios. About Kirini. And even about Elsa. You didn’t have to tell her those things. SANDRA She has to hear it though. BOOTS She is like the seeker at the mountain-top. The wise-woman explains the truth, the world and the meaning of life! She was soaking it in, because she admires you, wants to be like you. You didn’t have to do that. SANDRA She should do better than me. BOOTS What’s better than you? You are beautiful. You’re independent. You are what she wants-to-be. What would be better for her? SANDRA She should find a nice boy and get married. BOOTS Oh, you old biddy! Listen to you. Have we made no progress, us women, in the last century? A woman doesn’t have to be married to be successful, to be worthy. Hell, I’m not married. And neither are you. Or Kirini. What are you talking about, saying that girl should get married? SANDRA But are you happy, Boots? Alone? BOOTS I’m alone when I choose to be. Not-alone when I don’t want to be. You know the feeling. SANDRA I’m getting to the age, I guess, where I wonder where it’s all going for me. BOOTS I don’t know about that, Sandra. But I do know that I have to go home. SANDRA Need a ride? BOOTS Easy walk. Nice night. SANDRA You’re sure? BOOTS What I’m sure about is that it doesn’t matter where “it’s all going”. My editor, bless her, said, Boots, just, you-be-you, and it will all work out. So that’s what I do. SANDRA And it all worked out? BOOTS Mostly, with a few bumps in the road. But hey, that’s what makes it interesting. SANDRA Boots, you are certainly interesting. I’m glad you came by tonight. BOOTS Stay strong, sister! SANDRA Right on, Pocahontas! Boots exits. Elsa comes back to the bar. ELSA I think I’m getting the hang of it. SANDRA Trays of full glasses? ELSA That, and the grand illusion. Be what they want, and if they want to look at my butt, let ‘em. SANDRA As good a rule as I can find. ELSA Thanks, Miss Sandra. You are a good manager. SANDRA Now you are flattening me. Get the check at four. ELSA Yes, ma’am. SANDRA And knock that off too. Sandra moves through the room, talking to customers. Neil comes in, covered in paint and solvent. SANDRA Neil, what can I get you? NEIL You? What can you get me? What can I get you? SANDRA A Porsh-a convertible and a Vera Wang. NEIL Ha! What, no hat, to go with the gown? SANDRA Well, I’d bring a Maine Nordiques cap to the party. Beer for ya? NEIL Cognac. Thanks. SANDRA Coming up. Elsa swings by. ELSA Can I get you something, mister? NEIL I declare. I declare. There is a volcano somewhere, erupting. ELSA Sir? NEIL Sandra’s got me a hot toddy, on wheels. ELSA Oooo, kay. NEIL And you, miss. Your name? ELSA Elsa. NEIL Not Elsa God-speed? ELSA Sir. NEIL Mmmm. And your sister? ELSA Bella? Yeah, her and me. NEIL And you are... twenty one? SANDRA Nineteen. NEIL Awww! Blast! Sandra, Sandra! Why do you do this to me? SANDRA Neil, here. Have a stiff one. Elsa here is my re-enforcements. She’s the sharp-point of the spear. NEIL OK, Vader. SANDRA While Kirini is out, we’re wo-manning the garrison. NEIL How long can you hold out? SANDRA That’s what I’m wondering myself. NEIL So is this a rear-guard action? SANDRA Perhaps. Speaking of rears, what do you think of the youngster? NEIL Pouty. SANDRA Pouty? NEIL I see the bottoms, old and young, flabby and firm, exquisite and droopy, like yours. SANDRA Which am I? NEIL Yours? Worth the effort. Worth the time. It sells. SANDRA Thank you. And hers? NEIL Too young. I wouldn’t touch it, metaphorically. SANDRA OK but literally? NEIL Specifically. I don’t want the customers who would pay for a painting of a girl that young. It tangles me into a world of Learjets and private parties that I don’t want to go to. Lots of money but trade your soul. Ah, you wouldn’t know what I mean. SANDRA I would. I just spent some time with a New York moneyman. Everybody is like a throwaway plastic cup. NEIL I know them. Rough crowd. You got out? SANDRA Walked away. Flew away. I took his helicopter. NEIL No! Like those ones that flew up here for the tuna sandwich?! SANDRA It’s a taxi service for them. I called them up and put it on Alexi’s account. NEIL Ha-ha-ha! I love it. But those are the guys, bastards, that want me to paint their models. SANDRA I know. NEIL Too young. Eighteen. Sixteen. Fourteen. No, no, no, no, no! Not going to do it. SANDRA It makes you think, you know. NEIL About? SANDRA It’s like they think women are just commodities, or animals, to be traded around. NEIL More than that. SANDRA More? NEIL Branding. Marked for the harem. Swapped or sold like cattle. Beautiful, hopeful, young women. Sucked into the cruel world of power and money, with less regard than the steamed shrimp on the buffet. SANDRA I saw that. The shrimp, the oysters, caviar and the women. Consumed and cast off. Disgusting. NEIL Sandra, I’m glad you pulled yourself away. I’m glad you came back. I don’t know what to do with your paintings because I know it is those kinds of men who want them, want you, as trophies, on yachts and penthouse walls. Is that fair, to you? SANDRA Do what you have to do. Sell them canvases. I’m still here. NEIL I am afraid. SANDRA You? NEIL I am afraid that my marks with paint, on linen canvas, encourage, creates, causes... SANDRA What? NEIL It makes these men, who have no limits, no boundaries, determined to have the image in the flesh. They will want to come for you. To have you. SANDRA Bring it. NEIL I think, ah, it, I have to destroy them. Burn the paintings. Or else you will live your life, hunted down by the mad-cravings of mad-men with uncountable riches. SANDRA Don’t. NEIL No? SANDRA No. Save some, for me. NEIL For you. SANDRA No. Not for me. For Gordon. Burn the rest but save two for Gordon. He wants a front and a back. NEIL But Sandra, how can I? SANDRA Come on, Neil. Is it that hard? Spare me the hero speech. Gordon is a regular and I want to look out for him. If you’ve got some that you can put to the side, it would be a favor for me. NEIL What about this Turbo? He’s local and seems to be very interested. SANDRA Oh, yeah. Burn his paintings! Fuck him! NEIL Ouch! SANDRA That guy is nothing but a greasy dumpster fire. NEIL Whooo! SANDRA He’s been horned up on me for the whole two-thousands. I’d like to smack his pimple-face spit-wad face back to Roxbury. NEIL OK. SANDRA That jerk could collapse in the road and I wouldn’t lift a finger. NEIL Got it. No Sandra’s for Turbo. SANDRA Burn ‘em. Burn ‘em all. But save two for Gordo. NEIL You have a tender heart. I honor your wishes. Elsa approaches. ELSA So, what’s your name? SANDRA Easy there, young buck. ELSA Miss? NEIL My name is Neil. I’m a painter. I do portraits. ELSA Really? Would you do mine? NEIL Maybe next year. SANDRA Are you leaving? NEIL I’ve got to get back. SANDRA Taking some with you? NEIL A few for my patron. Two for Gordon. SANDRA When will you come back? NEIL Do you want me to come back? SANDRA I want to know if you want to come back. Yes, I want you to come back. Kirini wants you to come back. Gordon wants you to come back. But do you? What would bring you back here? NEIL You. SANDRA Me? NEIL You. SANDRA Why? NEIL This will sound ridiculous. SANDRA So, go ahead. NEIL Sugar J. told me to seek truth and beauty. SANDRA Mmm-hmm. NEIL And here, in Milbridge, I have seen, found, discovered, beauty. And truth has revealed itself. ELSA Is this artist talk? NEIL No, human talk. Art is the presentation of truth. This is the living of truth. ELSA I don’t understand. SANDRA That’s OK. Go on. NEIL You are the most beautiful woman I have ever painted. SANDRA Am I? NEIL Not the most symmetrical. Not the most ethereal. Not the most voluptuous. SANDRA Not? NEIL Well... close. SANDRA Uh-huh. NEIL But the most honest. The most real. The one who masters her beauty and steers it to your destination. I just don’t know where is your destination. SANDRA Me neither. NEIL And so, that is what I represent. And the men find you irresistible, mostly because you don’t know where to steer your beauty. And they sense it, and want to steer it for you. Make you their ship of vanity, the trophy goddess. SANDRA Just my luck. NEIL Ha! SANDRA For an independent woman in the world, we are surrounded by wanna-be jockeys and bronc-busters. NEIL It is ever so. SANDRA Jesus wept. NEIL Beer here? SANDRA Cognac go down smooth? Easy enough. ELSA I don’t understand what you are talking about. SANDRA We’ll talk about it in the morning. I’ve got to teach you how to roast the coffee beans. Can you make flapjacks? ELSA I can flip them. SANDRA Yeah, no. I’ll call Aiden. ELSA Please don’t. SANDRA Why not? ELSA Just don’t. SANDRA Ah. Ok. Yeah. Caiden? ELSA Sure. SANDRA OK. NEIL I gotta go. SANDRA Good night, Neil. Thanks for coming by. And, you know... NEIL I’ll save a pair for Gordo. SANDRA Thank you. And maybe one for Kirini. To put in the Jacks. NEIL Sure. Anything else? SANDRA Ha. That’s all. Good night. NEIL Good night, Sandy. Neil exits. The evening carries on. END.