Music 

Speaker 1: Well morning! Welcome to the Monday edition of the Viktor Wilt show. Yay for Monday! I swear I do not know how these weekends just go by so quickly. It's crazy. I swear I was just sitting in this seat. 

It's alright. We'll crush down Monday. We'll get her done. Alright what do we got going for our weather today? Hmm, doesn't want to load. 

Okay, well anyhow. Weekend was pretty decent for me. I got to spend a lot of time with my daughter on Saturday. 

And one of the things she enjoys doing is sitting around playing video games. So, got a lot of time put into Resident Evil Requiem. It's getting really good. 

It's a fantastic game. Yesterday, what happened yesterday? A little bit of grocery shopping, some nap time, and then made keychains with Becca. Sounded like a pretty nerdy and girly activity, but it was fun. And then all of a sudden the alarm clock was going off and I was like, you got to be kidding me. 

It is way too early for that sound. But we're here. We're doing it live. We got a lot going on this week. Plenty to talk about. Plenty to give away. 

Hooking up tickets to Hairball. Talk more about that in a while. And then we'll catch up on the weekend's worth of news. 

And all that good stuff. I'm sure there's got to be something dumb that happened over the weekend that might be fun to talk about. We'll see. 

Got to start digging. So, let's go. Let's party. 

It's funny how on Reddit people will post their relationship problems and just be like, you know, hey, who do you think's in the wrong here? Come on. Make me feel better about myself. 

I know I'm right. Do people post these, you know, these posts, I guess you should say, and then go to their significant other and be like, look, look what the Internet had to say. Like, why are you posting our crap online? 

Well, we needed a second opinion and look, they said I'm right. Yes. I don't know if I recommend that for your arguments. Like this guy posted, am I, you know, a jerk for refusing to eat my wife's spaghetti after I found out what she put in it? I'm like, all right, what nasty ingredients did she put in it? You know, this guy's just being a picky eater, right? 

No. He says, last night my wife made spaghetti and it smelled amazing. She said she tried something new and wanted me to just eat it before asking questions. 

I had a few bites and it tasted kind of off, but not terrible, just weirdly sweet and earthy. I asked what she changed and she told me she blended up leftover spaghetti from six days ago and mixed it into the sauce to thicken it. I immediately stopped eating. I know it's technically the same ingredients, but the idea of blended old noodles mixed into fresh sauce made me feel sick. She got offended and said I already ate half a plate, so clearly it was fine and I was just being dramatic now that I knew. 

I told her that's exactly the point. I did not know if I had known beforehand I would not have eaten it, you know, so they keep going back and forth. I wouldn't call myself a picky eater, but I am concerned when it comes to getting sick from food because I've had food poisoning a couple times and it's very, very unpleasant. So six day old spaghetti. This guy ain't eating it. 

I would have reacted the same as this guy. And getting into the comments people are like, yeah, you know that earthy flavor that was probably mold. Disgusting. Yeah, I mean, do you want to get sick? 

Yeah. Don't eat six day old spaghetti. All right, that that's just my opinion. 

All right. But I'm probably a little bit over cautious when it comes to actual food because of again, the amount of times I've had food poisoning and how very miserable that is. Unless you just like puking, you know, if you like, I love it. I can't get enough puking in my life. You know, I just want to puke and puke. There you go. Eat old food. 

But yeah, I don't think this guy is a jerk at all. I would have refused to eat it to have eaten it as well. All right, gross. I don't like that. 

Just the thought of moldy spaghetti doesn't really brighten up my morning. All right, let's take a look at some things that could help us out in life. Things that people don't realize are way more serious than they seem. All right, yeah, let's get serious on a Monday morning here. 

What do we need to make sure we're paying attention to? Sleep deprivation. You hear me talk about my lack of sleep often enough. 

Wish I would have gone to bed earlier last night. I'm not very stoked on that. They say some people treat it like a badge of honor, but it wrecks your brain and body faster than you'd expect. And other folks are saying, yeah, it literally makes you lose your mind, can bring on depression, anxiety, schizophrenia like symptoms and dementia. So get some sleep. All right, all right, I swear I will go to bed earlier tonight. I'm actually going to pretty much insist on it. I should put myself in bed at like seven o'clock. Just lay there till I crash out. Oh, did not get enough weekend rest. Tried. 

Let's see. What else is more serious than people realize? Driving. 

Yeah. A lot of times people don't think about that, but you are sitting inside of a box traveling at sometimes very high speed. Just feet away from other people doing the same thing. And around here could have animals darting out in the road, road rage incidents, all that stuff I talk about when it comes to my friends at the advocates injury attorneys. Yeah, driving is pretty serious business. 

Let's see. A small fire becomes a big fire fast. Skip the small cheap plastic fire extinguishers. Get a five pound minimum metal handle. 

Okay. I actually probably need to upgrade my fire extinguisher. I know I have one at the house and I probably need to show everybody in the house where exactly it's located. This one of those things that's making me think about all the crap I got to get done that I did not accomplish over the weekend. 

A lot of paperwork to get together and crap. Okay, let's see here. What is more serious than people realize? Having lilies in your home if you have a cat. Really? 

What? We have a bunch of lilies at the house right now. Let me see what those look like. Okay, I don't have any of those at the house. Good to know. 

All right. Well, I didn't really learn anything too new. Just reminded me I wanted to get more sleep. 

That's annoying. Sup everybody. Good morning, afternoon or evening depending on when you're listening to this program. But welcome. Welcome to the show. Welcome to Monday. Ew, gross. 

Oh well. We'll crush it down. We'll get through it. I was looking through the news trying to find something pleasant to talk about. 

It's tough in this day and age. I guess Teton Park Road open for spring recreation. There you go. 

Get out of town. It's officially spring at Grand Teton National Park. Now, if you're listening from elsewhere, Grand Teton and Yellowstone, two of the most amazing national parks in the country. 

Great reason to visit this area. And let's see starting April 10th. The Craig Thomas Discovery and Visitor Center in Moose will be open daily 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Do they show that awesome video of bison attacking people? 

I hope so. You should always take your children to the visitor center at Yellowstone first thing. And find the movie theater. You know, they've got these educational videos showing about park safety. Very good to show your kids. Once they see a small child get chucked through the air by a bison, they will be cautious as they make their way through the park. I think that should be mandatory for all tourists who visit Yellowstone or Grand Teton to view. 

Because, yeah, soon enough, any day now I'll be busting out my first story of the year. You know, somebody who got messed up by a bison or an elk because they just couldn't help but get right next to him. So, yeah, trip to Yellowstone sounds pretty good. I think I've got to take a trip to Salt Lake this weekend. 

And not even for a show or anything. Just do some family time. Should be okay. 

Should be okay. All I want to do every weekend is just like sleep. You know, and then I end up not getting to do it. Very annoying. Oh well. It's my own fault, I suppose. 

Yeah, give it myself, tasks. Okay, where to begin in a freak news today. Ah, let's see here. There's a great white shark scene circling a surfer in Newport Beach, California, and they had to shut down a stretch of shoreline. Well, yeah, it's the ocean. Okay, sharks, sea lions, all kinds of sea beasts. Duh. I mean, if you're going to go into the water, you're at risk of sharks. 

All right. People in the natural waters, man. And I don't know. 

I just don't get it. So anyway, if you were headed to Newport Beach, had your surfboard strapped to your vehicle, sharks, heads up. Ah, let's see, speaking of monsters, a legendary grizzly named the Boss has awakened as it let Alberta bears begin to emerge. So if you were headed up to Canada to do some camping. Yeah, I guess Banff National Park, lots of grizzlies and they're out. 

They're out and they're hungry. So yeah, probably want to avoid there as well. I'm, I would think getting attacked by a grizzly would be worse than a shark. Um, you could survive a shark attack. A chance of surviving a grizzly attack much lower. You know, they're beastlier. Can you imagine 700 pound bear just barreling toward you? Oh, terrifying. Oh, let's see here. What else happened over the weekend? 

And a woman in Mexico was arrested after being accused of assaulting her partner with a belt. Just started a WAP WAP because I don't know, I guess he he wasn't in the mood. Be careful, dudes. Hey, listen, no means no. 

Whether that's the man or the woman, you can't just bust out a belt because you're frustrated about it. I think he's fine, but she's in jail. Weird thing with the mug shots from Mexico, they cover up the people's eyes. I don't know, trying to make them less easy to, you know, determine who they are. Less easy to spot. I don't know. Just hadn't seen that one before. 

The, or at least that I recall, you know, blocks over the eyes. All right. Well, we might talk a little bit about travel. 

You know, since we're talking about Mexico might get into that here in a few. In the meantime, I guess I need more coffee or something. I'm going to play some music, try to get more jacked up, then I'll be right back. Okay, hang on. Well, let's talk about some sporting news. 

Isn't that fun? Yeah, sporting news. So we got, you know, March Madness going on. I mentioned a while back that Josh at class, he decided, hey, we're going to do a, you know, River Bend media madness bracket thing. 

And, you know, people can kick in a few bucks, sign up and somebody will win. And, you know, after enough pestering from both Josh and peaches, I was like, all right, I'll go ahead and enter into the competition. I know nothing about college basketball, but Josh showed me how, you know, the rankings worked and this and that. And so I just went through and I picked the higher ranked team for every single game up till the end when they're all high ranked. 

And then I just guessed. Well, apparently the team Duke lost over the weekend, which is unfortunate because I did pick them to go like all the way to the finals. But both Josh and peaches picked Duke to actually win. So after all of the games that happened recently, I went from last place to now I'm in second place behind Josh. 

And who knows? I might have a chance to win in this thing. How would that be? The guy who knows nothing about sports takes home the March madness, you know, River Bend mayhem bracket game thing. I think that'd be pretty cool. 

Looks like what there's only two more rounds left or something like that. Well, wish me luck. Wish me luck. I got to crush and destroy everybody else. But I got some fierce competition and I don't know how this point system works in this and that. So I've just been kind of kicking back. Laughing as I rise up in the rankings. Currently sitting in second place. Yeah, take that everybody else sports people. 

J Davis in the house. So apparently you just like looking up stories about people needing dead body parts. Yeah, you need the richest, creamiest fat in the world, Tyler Durden. Well, you had, you know, dead person foot. 

Yeah. Strapped a little dead person to strapped a little dead person foot to you and it cleared you right up. Made your burn wounds heal. Now you just need to grow a new butt. Pump a full of dead person fat. That's the new thing. 

Zombie feeling. Yeah, people are pumping themselves up with fat from corpses to perk up their pecs, boobs and butts. Pecs, boobs and butts. Put them on the peck and butt. 

I don't know. Wouldn't the old fashioned, you know, boob job be fine? You know the saline bags? I don't know about corpse fat. There's so much I want to say right now. 

Speaker 2: Yeah, what they do is they get the corpse fat and then they sterilize it, put it into tubes, and then they rebrand it and call it aloe clay, which sounds a lot better than corpse fat. I like corpse fat. When you die, you could really make a lot of boobs, butts and pecs with all your fat. Dude, with the advances in modern science, you know, I want to make sure with organ donation that my fat is included as part of the aloe clay. Yes. What happened to dad? Where did his body parts go? Well, head down to sunny Las Vegas. 

Speaker 1: He's in all the clubs now. 

Speaker 2: It's just his aloe clay. Aloe clay. 

Speaker 1: I'm going to start calling peaches aloe clay. This is a new nickname. You won't know what it means. That's a good find, Jayden. I wonder if they do aloe clay treatment around here. Make some phone calls. Do you guys have corpse fat? I need my bigger butt. Remember we went to that. Plastic surgery plays for a remote one time. That was fun, because they had the saline bags. I'm like, these are really satisfying to hold on to. 

Can you just buy these bags? I would like to have one just on my desk at work for when I get stressed out. Little stress ball. Do you have any filled with corpse fat? I'm just a bag of fat on your desk. So I'll manage the bag of fat that sits in the chair next to the desk. 

We need two bags of fat in my office. Well, this is a pretty pleasant story here. Let's talk about an infestation of bugs down in San Gabriel, California. And this happens, I guess, every year. 

But this year, things are kicking off a little bit early. These are small black flies that bite human eyes. Yeah, they love them. Experts describe the insects as smaller than mosquitoes, but far more aggressive, and they just go for the eyes. And their bite is painful, biting black flies that shoot for your eyes. 

They're drawn to human breath and the salty moisture around the eyes. One resident said, oh, that's disgusting. No kidding. Yeah, I mean, we got to deal with mosquitoes and other pests around here. But far as I know, we don't deal with flies that just go for the eyes and just nibble away. They can transfer a sickness called river blindness. And they're like, oh, you don't really need to worry about that. 

We don't really have a problem with them spreading river blindness around here. They just bite the crap out of your eyes. Another resident said, I don't want anything to bite my eyes, even if they don't transfer anything, that sounds really bad. So residents overwhelmed by the black flies that are just biting their eyes. 

They appear in May and then they have another surgeon August. All right, I'm going to scratch San Gabriel off of my places to visit list. I don't know if one of the local features is flies biting the crap out of your eyes. 

I just think there's got to be some more better to visit. Yeah, they recommend wearing a hat with a face net and deep based insect repellent. You know, I say just get some of those, you know, little kids swimming goggles. The ones that like suction onto your eyes. You're just going to have to walk around all the time. 

You know, why are people dressed this way around here? Oh, my eyes. Oh, brutal. In the market for a job. Well, you got to check out the fully revamped Hiree Stigh-to-Ho .com. Our job of the week this week from Streamline Services. They're looking for a painter or painters helper for a busy paint crew located in Rigby. Now, they say experience is a preferred but not required. So maybe you've wanted to get into the painting business. 

Huh? They say they'll teach if you're eager to learn and want to work. Just got to be reliable and have your own transportation to job sites. So hit up Hiree Stigh-to-Ho .com. You can find that job of the week from Streamline Services right there on the main page of the site. Check it out and all of the other job listings available. And if you're a local employer looking to hire some people, post your listings there. Connect directly with people in our community. They're on the hunt for a job and get things taken care of. Again, hireeasedigh-to-ho .com. Hey, what's up, Josh? How's it going today? I'd go to my three... Well, my two would have been fine, but whatever. What are you doing? 

Speaker 2: I just was going to deliver some information because I know you don't know. 

Speaker 1: Are you sure I don't know? Do you know? 

Speaker 2: I know everything. Do you know what position you are in in the March Madness Bracket competition in this office? I do, as a matter of fact. 

Speaker 1: I looked at it this morning. I half expected you to just be like, nah, I don't even know. Well, I saw these headlines popping up about how Duke sucks. 

Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, they must have lost. Yeah. So I was like, I wonder what that did for me. Now, I did have them going all the way to the final. Correct. But I didn't pick them to win the whole thing. I'm so frustrated because my initial bracket, I had Yukon the whole way. And I talked myself out of it and I went, this has got to be the year. Duke stacked their roster. They've got all these potential pro players. 

There's there's a good chance this is the year they're going to do it. And I should have trusted my gut and kept Yukon to beat them in this round and then be advancing to the finals. So now you've got Yukon in Illinois on one side and you've got Michigan and Arizona on the other. Now, you have Arizona to win it all, right? Win it all, Arizona. So here's what has to happen. I did the calculations this morning. OK. I have Arizona to win against Michigan as well in the final. I had Duke beating Arizona. 

Yes. So here's what has to happen in order for me to continue to win. Arizona has to beat Michigan, OK, which knocks Kevin out. OK. Kevin will be done. 

Yes. You, me and Jacob will advance. If Arizona loses in the final to whoever, I will maintain my point advantage and win. That's that's so that's what has to happen. Arizona has to beat Michigan and then lose in the finals to whoever. It doesn't matter because no one has a team on that side. 

Speaker 1: But who is it? Jacob or Daniel that picked Arizona also to win the U. 

Speaker 2: And Jacob. But I think you're leading him in the points. I am by one point. Correct. So you have the best chance to win if Arizona beats Michigan. If Arizona loses, Kevin wins. 

OK, because it'll knock me down enough points as well. Kevin will take the front spot. So Arizona has to beat Michigan. And then Arizona has to lose in order for me to win. OK. If Arizona wins, you win. Go Arizona. That's right. So that's that's what I'm rooting for. Arizona beat Michigan, Arizona losing the final. 

Speaker 1: Well, I think you know what I'm I'm going for. 

Speaker 2: You will be the best. It would be amazing because I won because I don't watch sports. I know, I know. I, you know, put the minimal effort into my bracket. I just went and picked the higher ranked team for each game and then guessed at the end and was like, well, I like Arizona. 

It's one of my favorite states. I'll pick them. Way to go. So that's how I did my bracket. And so Arizona is a one seed. Michigan's a one seed on that side. That's a very tough game. Yeah, that one settled Saturday night. All right. We have to wait that long. You know, dang. And then April 6th is the final. 

Speaker 1: All right. Well, I'm coming for it. Coming for you, dude. I'm all Wednesday. That's right. I'm a pro. I should gamble more often. Now, I'm sure I'll lose. I always end up losing in the end. Well, we're a little after nine o'clock, everybody. 

I hope you're doing good. My lady wanted to hear a song. She wanted me to pick one. 

So here's one from me to you, Becca. Pussifer and the remedy going to be in Salt Lake City in May. I want to say May 5th. I don't have the info up in front of me. Sorry, I know, should be prepared. 

But I didn't intend to talk about that. Just go check the concert calendar over at K-Bear dot FM. And if you're going to go out of town for a show, try not to be a rude turd. Was looking at things that Americans say while they're visiting other countries. And I mean, I definitely believe all of these because I have seen enough activity out of people to know that people would say these things when when in other countries. How much is that in real money? 

I'd note if you're in another country, their money is real money. All right. The world does not revolve around the United States. So don't be that guy. 

Oh, yeah, don't call their place a third world country as well. That's just not very nice. If you walk into a business and I don't know, you're hoping for a deal or you want to whip up your meal in a particular way. Now, some places they're just going to give you what you get. 

You can't go. The customer is always right. And don't I pay your wages? 

Things like that. Don't ask him to just speak English. Yeah, bring an app with you. It's 2026. All right. You don't know the local language. Bust out an app and go ahead and let them speak the language in which they were raised to speak. OK, I can't believe they still do that here. 

Things are different in other places. Just a heads up. Just be a good guest. I mean, I could keep going on with this thing, but just. Don't be a turd. OK, I know it's hard. There's a lot of people out there that they're just relentless turds. 

All right. Relentless aggravations. They can't just be cool. Yeah, there you go. 

There's the key to life. Just be cool. All right. It's really simple. 

Just be cool. Happy Monday, everybody. Are you feeling happy? 

Well, if you're not, I'm sorry. But don't just go out and have children to make yourself happy. According to a new study. 

Becoming a parent provides no boost to well being and also ruins your relationship. There you go. Yeah. If you haven't had kids, it's stressful. It's expensive. And for the first many years of their life, like you might as well just not plan on doing anything. All right. 

All those hopes and aspirations and dreams and hobbies and things you want to get done out the window, you're going to have to get back to that later on. And this article, I mean, it's really long. I didn't read the whole thing here, but. 

I mean, I could see why children could make a relationship worse. You like waking up in the middle of the night? Yeah. Like having to, you know, get up and calm down a screaming baby. You like getting puked on? Do you like, you know, dealing with diapers? 

I don't know. I mean, it's stressful, stressful and expensive raising children. So I could see that being something that would cause a little bit of the issue in the average relationship. So, you know, just try to plan these things out very carefully. I know they can happen unexpectedly. But yeah, don't just think like, oh, I got a baby on the way. I'm going to be so happy. 

It's not all sunshine and rainbows, everybody. OK. All right, we talked about this guy a couple of weeks ago. A man of sphere influencer named Clavicular. This is the guy who like hits himself in the face with a hammer, thinking it'll make his bones grow back stronger and give him a chiseled jaw line. 

And I don't know, he makes videos and runs a website where he teaches young dudes like here. Here's how to make yourself prettier so you can get girls. But these guys. They're just the dudes I talk about from time to time, who simply need to learn how to treat women right. And then they'd be able to get a girlfriend. These are the guys who whine all the time about, oh, men have it so rough now. 

You know, we're so picked on. No, dude, you're just a turd. All right, you're a jerk. There's better words I could use, but they're not appropriate on the radio. 

Now, until we get them FCC rules changed. Well, anyway, this guy got arrested for, I guess, the second time gotten some kind of a fight, you know, some type of relationship drama and things like that. And he was also arrested earlier in the year or recently for possession of prescription drugs. He encourages people to do things like take small amounts of meth to suppress your appetite because physical appearance trumps all else. So you want to be all, you know, just skinny. You want to be like sickly, apparently. And this is a guy that, you know, young dudes are taking influence from and trying to follow his advice so they can get themselves a girlfriend. 

Don't do meth. OK. All right. Let's just say no. 

All right. That is not going to help you get a girlfriend. It's going to help you ruin your life. Potentially end up in jail. A lot of bad things can happen along with that. Don't hit yourself in the face with a hammer. OK. Should be common sense. Hammer face. 

No. But young people be dumb sometimes. I'm telling you, dudes, personality. 

That is the key to picking yourself up a girlfriend. OK. Looking at myself. All right. I'm not one of these, you know, chiseled face, ripped dudes. OK. I guarantee that my looks are not the reason that I've been able to keep a steady relationship over the years. OK. That's all personality based. 

You got to learn how to treat the ladies right. Well, anyway, I'm sure nothing will happen to him. You know, when you're rich, I kind of like, you know, how he got busted with the drugs in Arizona. Yeah, they didn't press any charges or anything. So they'll probably be able to get away with fighting and doing whatever. 

Because yeah, apparently influencers, people of power, they can just get away and do whatever they want. Yeah, let's get out and break the law. You'll you'll you'll be fine if you got enough money. Don't hit yourself in the face with a hammer. 

All right. That's my my advice for Monday. Even if it feels like a good day to smash yourself in the face with a hammer. Don't do it out of frustration or to try to make yourself look better. It won't work either way. 

All right. If you're planning on rolling to the airport, flying somewhere, don't show up so dang early. Now, a lot of people are showing up to the airports earlier than usual because of long lines. We got this government battle going on. TSA funding, blah, blah, blah. Well, apparently people showing up even earlier than usual is now causing the lines to be worse than it would be otherwise. So a lot of airports, you know, urging people, hey, you know, show up like an hour and a half early. 

I don't know. I'd probably be a bit nervous myself if I was traveling right now. You know, if I wasn't flying out of somewhere like Idaho Falls, I'd probably arrive too early because you don't want to miss a flight, right? 

Missing a flight would be pure aggravation. But that's what they're saying. They're saying. 

And then later in the article, it's like, well, this one woman said she missed a morning flight this week, despite arriving more than three hours ahead of time. So I don't know what to tell you to do. I'm glad I don't have any flights booked any time soon. Now, if I'm heading anywhere, I'm just going to burn that overpriced gas, I guess. Well, good luck at the pumps, everybody. 

I'm going to get out of here. I'll be back at noon for the noon hour of madness and mayhem. Peach is out today, so I don't know who I'm going to have in with me or what we're going to do, but it'll happen when it happens. Okay. So I'll see you in a while. Gotta go to the Monday meeting. Yay. Anyhow, thanks for hanging out with me today. I'll see you in a bit. Thank you again for tuning in to the Victor Will Show, this program is a production of Riverbend Media Group. To contact the show or for more information, hit us up at riverbendmediagroup.com.