Carina Reeves
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[00:00:00] When you're a single parent, there can be a lot going on from managing money to growing your career or business while parenting, dating, and finding time for yourself. How can you create a great life and actually have fun doing it?

[00:00:15] Lindsay Carlson: That's the question we're here to answer. Welcome to Single and Mighty, the podcast where we believe single parents deserve to lead mighty lives. I'm Carmel Ecker, a single parent who gets my adventure fix as a mountain biking coach. I'm also the founder of Your One Amazing Life, I'm Lindsay Carlson, a solo parent who left an abusive relationship to start a new life. I now enjoy running my own company, Mighty Ink Marketing. We've both been single parents for more than a decade, which means we've made our share of mistakes and learned a few things along the way. What stands out for us is the value of community inspiration and support [00:01:00] to create a life you love no matter what the world throws at you. And that's what this podcast is all about. So listen in, get inspired and leave a review so other single parents can find it too. And sign up at singleandmighty.com for bonus resources and special news. 

[00:01:26] Welcome to single and mighty. And today we have Karina Reeves. Karina is a certified relationship coach as well as an award winning classically trained cellist, which I'm kind of excited about to ask her about later. She and her partner work with entrepreneur couples and they split their time between Toronto and the small town of.

[00:01:50] Dundas. Nailed it. Got it right. I got it right? Okay. Awesome. Welcome, Karina. Thank you so [00:02:00] much for being here. Thank you so much. It's such, it's such a, a privilege and I'm so excited to talk to you both. I just love that you're, you're other moms and that you're wanting to talk to moms and we're just gonna, we're gonna get, we're gonna dig into all the mom stuff.

[00:02:15] I love it. Thank you. I love it. I also think a lot of this is super relevant to the dads out there, so don't fast forward if you're a dad. Oh, yeah. for saying that. One million percent. Welcome dads. We love you. Yeah. Totally. Definitely. To kick things off, Karina, we'd love to hear your single parent story.

[00:02:37] Yeah. Thank you so much. Separated in end of 2015, 2016. So doing the math. Oh my gosh. It's almost eight years now, seven years. And my kids were pretty young, they were five and seven and things hadn't been great for a while. We'd, why do all new parents do this? We'd taken on like a massive house [00:03:00] renovation.

[00:03:01] Oh wow. Ouch. Neither of us had any family who could help with the kids and I come from a very small family. I'm an only child and my mom's an only child and my dad's. Only sister, never had any kids. So I never really, momming was like, a real everything was a learning curve for me. Everything was a learning curve.

[00:03:25] And so things hadn't been easy for a while. And my parents, my friends asked me, you know, what took you, why did it take you so long? And I, we really came to the answer that I needed the kids to be a certain age in order to be able to function well enough to leave. With no, with no family support. So, once they're five and seven, they're sort of at school some of the time, and they can feed themselves and they don't need diapers and all that kind of thing.

[00:03:50] So, that was, that was the timing of that. And I wanted them to have a better, I wanted them to have better relationship role models. [00:04:00] I was not from the stay together for the kids point of view. I was a If they're seeing their mom and dad being like this, this is what they're learning about what grown up relationships look like.

[00:04:14] And I was not into that. That was, in my mind, like a terrible curse to give them for that to be their, their role models. I can so relate to that. Yeah, amazing to know that. To be present enough in the moment to realize, you know what, the most important thing here is what we're doing for our kids. And this isn't it.

[00:04:36] Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So, I think, I think there was some relief all around I even, I even managed to spin it a little bit, that they got to have two houses. Part of the, part of the renovation, like, there were no doors. There was no, there wasn't even a door on the bathroom. And I [00:05:00] was like, mom's going to get a new house.

[00:05:01] You're going to get to have two houses and there's a door on the bathroom.

[00:05:07] Nice spin, mom. But you know, divorce is hard and there was some, there's big impact on them and huge impact on, I'll speak for myself, on me. And it ended up that the past two years. They've decided to spend more time with their dad, and they actually live with their dad right now. Everything changes.

[00:05:34] There have been room renovations at my house, and rumblings of wanting to come back, and looks like pretty soon there's gonna be some, some more sleeping over at my house, which I'm absolutely thrilled about. But honestly, I haven't talked about that much. It's felt really vulnerable to It feels like, in fact, that the way my parenting [00:06:00] journey has unfolded has been antithetical to what a good mom's Journey with her kids should look like the good mom, the good mom story.

[00:06:14] It's first, always, always for the children. And I wasn't parenting how I liked. I, I, I was overreactive. I was in my trauma. I was, I was needing my journey of coming back into myself and my center and my groundedness and. Honestly, my good humor. Like, one of the things I love now, because my kids come over like several times a week for sort of dinner and homework and some TV time and just hang out.

[00:06:46] And I love how much we laugh now. Like, what a, what a gift to have had this time. That worked better. They just, I don't know, they called it and I was like, I went with it. But how [00:07:00] wonderful now that we like just laugh and have a good time together. So that feels really, I would rather have smaller time.

[00:07:10] That we enjoy each other than this, like, every moment is precious. You only get 18 summers until they leave the house. Pressure. Yes. Yeah. That pressure. That doesn't work for me. No. And it's bologna. Yeah. I'm calling bull. Yeah. But nobody. People don't talk about this, and I love that you're open to talking about it, because for some of us, it's our biggest fear, and so we do everything, including being totally stressed out, to try and make sure it doesn't happen, and You're just blowing apart that whole idea that it's the end of the world.

[00:07:47] It isn't. And it gave you something that you wouldn't have had otherwise, and for your kids too. I love that. so much. So, your perspective now is that it was the best thing that could have happened.[00:08:00] At the time, what were you Without time travel. Like, you know, I mean, I could have like I'm just curious.

[00:08:08] Or put some, like, chips of healing and, you know, relationship awareness, if I could like have a little floppy drive that I could put in my head, that would have given me my skills that I've learned now, back then, and yeah, that would, that would have been awesome. But, you know, life is, So far, for most of us, life is linear.

[00:08:28] Yeah, yeah. I know what it's like to be in that kind of a situation where there's a lot of pressure and misery around you. And it doesn't bring out the best in you. And years of that, and that's just the parenting style that you fall into. I totally have been there. And It is so hard to own up to that because there's so much fear around somebody saying, Oh my gosh, well, you don't deserve to have your kids.

[00:08:51] But the fact of the matter is we're all doing the best we can. And the model we can show our kids is, Hey, I noticed something was going [00:09:00] on that wasn't great. And I did something about it. I, I made it possible for you to have a better life. No matter what that looks like, it's, it's amazing that you did that.

[00:09:09] It's quite selfless. To be able to do that. To be able to be that selfish. Yes. God bless. It's weird how that works, isn't it? Right, right. The person who's had the most Oh, sorry, Carmel. Go ahead. No, I was just gonna say, like, I think the I'm guessing that you didn't necessarily fight it. You may not have wanted That situation where they're spending, you know, the vast majority of their time living at their dad's, but fighting it might have resulted in more trauma for everybody.

[00:09:41] Thank you for naming that. It's funny. We must've had a little mind meld there. That was part of what I was going to share with the person who actually had the hardest time with it was my new partner who we've been together for four and a half years now. And he's absolutely the love of my life. And he's.

[00:09:57] But he has a very different [00:10:00] parenting modeling stories expression and he had to do a bunch of work with himself to let it be okay that I wasn't fighting for my children and He had stories that you should fight for your children and I walked him through what I saw Fighting for my children would look like starting with I'd be fighting.

[00:10:24] I'd be fighting with their dad I'd be fighting with life. I'd be fighting with them actually and I didn't trust the stories that were going on at their The other places in their lives. I I'm very committed to Speaking well of their family and I could not, I literally, I C3PO'd it in my mind. I'm like, what are the statistical chances that I could fight for them and we would all come out happier?

[00:10:55] And I did not, I could not and did not see it with the level of [00:11:00] capacity that, that, that myself and my ex had for how we could deal with each other. Letting it be, letting it go, trusting that this is right for right now and that it's all gonna somehow still work out and lo and behold, it seems to be what's happening.

[00:11:23] It's so amazing, so soothing against that huge fear that you could have. around losing your kids. You're not going to lose your kids unless you, you, you know, you sever that relationship. You're always there. You're always their parent. Yeah, Lindsay. And also that's partially their, their life path. Yeah. I hear from, I've heard from quite a few moms, especially when their kids are in their twenties.

[00:11:51] Yeah. My youngest isn't talking to me right now. Yeah, my eldest didn't talk to me for like three years. Like, it's also our [00:12:00] kids life path of what they choose and And I, I believe part of the practice of being a good parent is also loving them where they are. And I don't want to, I literally don't want to make it worse.

[00:12:14] Like, I believe my parenting is to support being a grown up, grown ass adult, is to have learned how to support them, even when I don't like it. That, to me, is being, like, a true parent. That's so hard to, that's the most challenging of all is to be okay. I'm accepting what's really going on, not constantly fighting it.

[00:12:40] And yeah. Wow. Kudos. It's a practice. It's a practice. And once it starts to build momentum, oh my gosh, it's so much more peaceful. It's so much more peaceful and it's across the board. Right? It's, I was actually teaching, I have one cello student left. I [00:13:00] love her so much. We have the best time. And her cello had, what happened?

[00:13:07] It had something wrong with it, and I couldn't fix it in the lesson, and so I was like, Well, we could still do some of the life coaching that I've been talking about. She's like, Actually, that would be really great. And we said,

[00:13:19] And she was like, I need to manifest more good things. Because I was telling her, I just, I just manifested some really cool shit a couple weeks ago. Do you want to hear about it? You might. Yeah, sure. You might be jealous. You got a sass. I love it. So this is how it was great. And then it just kept getting better.

[00:13:43] So about a month ago, maybe six weeks ago, and actually that was why I reached out to Carmel. I realized that I want more colleagues, girlfriends, like support community in my life. And I'm part of this group and I realized that I [00:14:00] hadn't really been reaching out to anyone in there. And I didn't, so I started like this, Oh, my own private campaign to like talk to people.

[00:14:06] And then I talked to Carmel and then another business coach that I'm with, he hosted a a summit about JV. So JVs are joint ventures, things you do with other people. Three days of just, what can we do together? What would be cool? And I met this woman who's Happens to live in Spain in Ibiza and she happened to think I was the bee's knees from how I showed up and she was like, I'm having a retreat.

[00:14:32] I think you should come for free. You just have to cover your flight. And so it took me a bit of hemming and hawing, I'll tell you that much. But I finally, I was like, I think I'm going to do it. So I went to Ibiza. For this incredible week, met all these amazing other women. And then not only did I manifest that, but on the way home, this, here's the perfect example of going with everything's working out.

[00:14:59] My [00:15:00] flights got delayed. Oh, that's bad, right? Oh, and then my flight was further delayed and it was actually cancelled and I'm in the airport in Spain on Customer service with Air Canada. Nobody can figure out what to do There's no Air Canada agents and I had this revelation. I'd been like wandering around for like two hours I had this revelation.

[00:15:19] It's like I need to leave the airport and go back to the check in place because I know there's There's the check in, like, the people there from my airline. So I go, I arrive, and they're like, Oh, they just got us a hotel! And I join this, like, group of people, and this woman looked like she was Canadian, and I was like, Are you Canadian?

[00:15:39] And she was like, Sorry? And I was like, Oh yeah, you are. And so I get on the plane. So then I found this group of six, five other, there was six of us total. We formed a WhatsApp group, Lost in, Canadians Lost in Madrid. We had this incredible night. They'd already been there for work. They like [00:16:00] tour guided us around.

[00:16:01] They had expense accounts. They paid for my dinner, my wine, my like late night visits and that. We had the most incredible time. The hotel was amazing. The breakfast the next morning was like some of the best food I'd ever eaten. And Air Canada paid me 890 as an apology for having canceled my flight. Wow.

[00:16:20] What? . Okay. We need the, we need the down low Yeah. . It all starts with trusting, everything's gonna work out and being able to be with the feelings you're having right now as feelings, as opposed to believing the fears that you're gonna die, basically.

[00:16:39] Right, right. Yeah. That's basically the fear that comes up. Yeah. It's like you're gonna die. Yeah. I'm going to lose my kids. It feels like I'm going to die or they're going to die, which is just as bad or worse. Yeah. Yeah. Pardon my language, but the shit storm in your head, if you feed it. [00:17:00] will just keep growing and growing and growing.

[00:17:02] And it's this future stuff like there's what's happening now. And then there's like, how is this going to get even worse as it goes on? And we actually continually catastrophize the future based on one thing that's happened now. But none of that stuff has happened. Yeah. Most people what if the wrong way?

[00:17:22] Yeah. Yes. I love that. So good. Most people. What if the wrong way? I love that too, because look what happens. You just go with it. You let go of what society is going to judge. You follow your instinct to be agreeable in a situation that's pretty painful, I'm sure. And the future is agreeable. Can I, can I, can we navigate that word agreeable?

[00:17:53] How about grounded and wise? Beautiful. Very grounded and very wise. Because you can say no, [00:18:00] because agreeable doesn't mean grounded and wise doesn't mean saying yes to things that you don't want to say yes to. Yeah. Yes. Thank you. Yeah, we don't want to take away anyone's sense of agency here. I love it.

[00:18:14] So tell, tell me you, you now work with people in their relationships and you're really big on communication. And I imagine you're really good at communicating with your ex because you really, you two really have to rely on each other. Do we rely on each other? No. Well, for the care of your children. Yeah.

[00:18:42] Like, you kind of have to trust that each other has their best interests at heart. Yeah. So that's, that gets to be a box that I just, I trust. Yeah. There's a lot of, there's some things I don't like and some things I'm going to trust that [00:19:00] also that my kids will get to unwind as they wish or don't wish as they become more and more adults.

[00:19:06] Mm hmm. I'm going to trust that I am going to do my best to role model. The things that I think are wonderful about how to live and how to be and how to connect with, especially with hard things. Yeah. And my communication specifically with men, but it does also apply with women, really shifted when a friend of mine recommended a book after my divorce.

[00:19:35] Hmm. I think I was dating, or maybe he was, maybe my ex was. I was struggling with him and she was like, Oh, you're a frog farmer. And I was like, excuse me. Oh my God. Okay. What is that? She's like, Oh, you need to read the book. The queen's code. And I was like, well, I like that [00:20:00] part better.

[00:20:04] And I was like, okay. And she had a copy and she loaned it to me very generously. And it continues to be a gift that I recommend it to every single one of my women clients. The men can read it as well. It can be very validating to see. what women are up against and the habits that women have been trained to have with men.

[00:20:31] And my, my current partner Matt, he, he wanted to read it. He's like, how do you do all these things that feel so good to me? And I was like, and he's like, it was incredible to him. He was like, I'm reading the book. And I'm like, she does that. She does that. She does that. She does. And, and he literally, He wants to do things for me.

[00:20:54] He feels, we both feel like we got the lucky end of the stick being with each [00:21:00] other. We feel like the other one gives more than, we sort of want to like have to make sure we're giving enough because we both feel like we receive so much. And for communication, it all starts with what I've nicknamed the Queen's Code Ask.

[00:21:17] One of the biggest steps in the Queen's Code ask is to stay in your side of the street that you are asking. I have an ask. I have an ask of you. And one of the things that women do because we feel vulnerable asking and hearing, risking hearing a no, is a couple things.

[00:21:35] First of all, we don't ask enough. And so we start asking when things are really dire. We wouldn't ask if it wasn't really important. Totally true. Yeah, and so we let our buffer or our resources get too low before we ask. Right. So, so then things like we really can't hear a no because [00:22:00] we really don't know what the heck we do if it wasn't There's no plan.

[00:22:02] There's no plan B. There's no plan B. We're screwed. We expect the other person to see that. We wouldn't have asked if it wasn't so important. And of course they need to follow us. And that must feel terrible. Yeah, it must feel terrible. And also like a lot of pressure. Like, why are you only asking me now?

[00:22:21] We are asking from a place where we actually don't want to give them choice. Yeah. Yeah. The best way to ask is when it's okay, if they say no. And the irony is that makes them have way more space to say yes. Oh, I love that. Yeah, that's amazing. But it's, it's a matter of training your brain to really believe that.

[00:22:52] And I'm, I am a terrible procrastinator when it comes to asking. I am. I am like the one that's like, okay, [00:23:00] I have to ask, I know I need to ask and I'll put it off and I'll put it off and I'll put it off. Right? And then it's like, either I lose the opportunity because I didn't ask soon enough, and now like, if he says no, I'm, I'm hooped.

[00:23:14] And that feels awful. Or like, as you say, it's like now he feels pressure to say yes. Yeah. Which also feels awful. Mm hmm. And, yeah. So, like, I've been, like, trying to figure out how do I retrain myself to just tell myself that it is okay to ask. It's just okay. It's okay to ask. It's like, but there's this sense for me that, you know, asking too much.

[00:23:47] Is not okay. I don't have anywhere to other way to put it. So I don't know if any, but I can't be alone in this. No, I was just thinking the same. I was thinking exactly that. Also, like we put, if we're, if we're doing, as we were saying [00:24:00] last conversation that we had and women are kind of conditioned to put ourselves last, then having any needs at all is kind of shameful and in some deep down part of our psyche.

[00:24:10] Yeah. So that's, that's really going against this conditioning. Which is the other book that I think all women should read. Yay! Unbound by Kazia Urbaniak. Unbound. And it's all about the good girl squish. It's all about, you shouldn't have any needs, but if you do have needs, you have to give yourself a way to get them met.

[00:24:37] So you're either all the way the rebel, all the way the independent, all the way separate, or you're All the way submissive, all the way obligated, all the way under their power. And the, the thing with a, with a squish is there is, the lie that society tells us is that there's, there's a perfect amount where we get to [00:25:00] be in the middle.

[00:25:01] And that is the lie. There is no perfect amount with the squish. The minute you start to give something that you have a need, it tips. The minute you're like, okay, I have to just do more myself, you tip. There is no landing on the edge. And letting go of that paradigm. Is what we've been talking about.

[00:25:26] We've been talking about a whole new paradigm of how do I ask? How do I ask? So, so Carmel, I would offer that one, a practice you could have with yourself for like 30 day, five minute journaling or just exploring in your mind is the space of Well, what am I scared of if he says no, or you explore that space of, well, I could do this, or I could do that.

[00:25:49] Or, I mean, I guess if he says, no, this could happen. The more you get comfortable with that space of him not doing what you want. Let's you be in your [00:26:00] imagination, your creativity, your resourcefulness, and your groundedness that actually gives him way. It's way easier to hand something to someone when they're not wobbling all over the place.

[00:26:11] Yeah. I mean, if it would be okay, like, would you mind, I mean, I know it's asking a lot and they're like, can I have the pleasure of giving you something? This isn't fun for me. No, forget it. And then it's over. Now, when it comes to, I'm going to kind of flip that. Over a little bit. When it comes to asking from someone who's not your partner, like your former partner, I think one of the fears too, for me anyways, I'll just speak from my perspective is that he will say yes.

[00:26:42] And then it, and then it feels like, well, now do I owe him something for having done that for me, And it's like, well, is, is this going to come back to haunt me? Good question. So it's not just, you know, Oh God, he might say no. It's like, Oh God, he might [00:27:00] say yes. And then like, that's a really good reason to have him not say yes.

[00:27:04] Yeah. Is he going to think that I owe him something down the road? Right? Yeah. So just a couple things, yeah, like have an agreement. So for example, like sometimes my, my partner. Often, like, so he has an agreement. So if he asks for an extra, for, to like switch weekends or switch days, they keep a tally.

[00:27:30] So she'll get an extra day somewhere else. That is their agreement. That's how they do it. So it's not, ooh, will, will she want that day? No, she, she's entitled to that day. That's, that's what they've agreed. And if they make up stuff that you haven't agreed to, practicing feeling the discomfort of your, your no.

[00:27:53] Nice. Right. Your boundary. Is then also part of what you get to explore. Right. [00:28:00] And boundaries can be incredibly kind. Yeah, because it means you're not holding on to resentment and resistance. Hmm. It's just simply the truth. That's so good. I think a lot of us don't get these skills. So thank you for bringing some of these eye opening thoughts, and I'm sure that we can.

[00:28:23] Go down and down deeper and deeper into that rabbit hole. But we only have you for so long today. I did want to just touch briefly on, on something that you said and like, you know, it's about the agreements and, and there's so much power in establishing something ahead of time. Right. Like having that communication.

[00:28:50] Ahead of time, sort of anticipating some things so that it, it just, it avoids conflict [00:29:00] later. Have you, do you see that in the, in the coaching that you do? Absolutely. And, and part of that coaching is. Creating enough capacity to actually be vulnerable, not in the ask, but be vulnerable, sharing your vulnerability.

[00:29:19] I've been having fears come up that if I ask for this, that there's going to be some weird payback later, and it would feel really good in my system, that we can just clarify right now if there is something that you'd like, so that we can have this exchange be clean.

[00:29:38] Saying what you think and what you feel. Wow. So good, but also I think some people don't know how to express that. It's so scary to express that. Yeah. The vulnerability. You have no idea how somebody is going to receive what you put down. And so we avoid it. But how cool is that to just be up front about it and in really [00:30:00] careful in your choice of words that you don't make them feel like you're worried that they're going to be unreasonable, but just that it's going to create an expectation and you want to nail that down right now.

[00:30:13] Yep, so two things there. I actually demoed, because I realized we didn't actually clarify what the Queen's Code ask is, I actually demoed the Queen's Code ask right there. So I was clear of what I wanted. Bonus points if you can actually, like, say how long, like, all the All the parameters of it, including the conversation itself, I need about five minutes to chat with you about something is now good or wouldn't later be better.

[00:30:37] Give them room for when works for them. And then I told him how it would feel. I would feel reassured. I would feel more secure. I would feel like I could know better what's coming and that would feel really good for me. Because then they get to give you something that feels good for you. So, which is the second point I wanted you to notice.

[00:30:57] It always feels. [00:31:00] Energetically more in flow to ask for what you do want instead of worrying and protecting what you don't. And if you can do that one thing across your life, it will move mountains. The amount of things people do because they're scared of something happening always makes the energy go into a twisty pretzel.

[00:31:24] Always. So good. So good. It works on a relationship level and it works on your whole life level, the same thing. If you live scared of what could go wrong, you just twist yourself up like that pretzel. Oh my goodness. So beautiful. I'm totally picking that book up. 

[00:31:43] It is hard to find. So you have to go to her website. Okay. Sometimes they have like. Secondhand copies on Amazon, but it's expensive. It's like a 50 book for hard copy, but I think, but I think the. Yeah, I [00:32:00] didn't bother. I just got it on get my Kindle, which isn't my favorite for a hard copy, but anyway, so yeah, there's options.

[00:32:07] There's options. We'll put a link in the show notes. Yeah. Great. Cause sometimes, sometimes with those expensive books, I know they come up a lot in marketing. It's like thinking about what if I had that. Same message come through in coaching or consulting with someone, would I be willing to pay 50 bucks?

[00:32:24] Quite often the answer is yes. So to me, it's like one of the cheaper ways you can get really top notch education from someone is, is even to buy a more expensive book. But it's nice that there are options online too. All right, Karina, we have a lightning round of a few questions that we'd love to ask our guests.

[00:32:43] And so if you're game, we will hop in. Carmel, did you want to ask the first one? Sure. I love asking the first one. So finish this statement. Single parenting is a beautiful, never ending journey. [00:33:00] Yeah, I love that perspective. Yeah. I feel like we could talk for hours. Okay. What's the most important thing that you learned from your parents or adult influences around you?

[00:33:14] As a kid go back in my dad, my dad, maybe he stepped over himself too much, but he was always willing to go back in even when my mom was really, really challenging. And that was really beautiful. Wow. Amazing. What is one tradition that you've established, you know, as a, as a single parent family? 

[00:33:40] Feet, lots. Always have snacks. Always have snacks, okay. Always have snacks when they come over. My daughter and I created this like, healthy version of the Wendy's Frosty. It's like, sweetened with dates and maple syrup and there's peanut butter in it and like, I was like, do you want a Frosty? She's like, yep.

[00:33:58] She's hungry. [00:34:00] Nice. That's awesome. Everything's better when you, when you eat enough. Yeah. Yeah. Especially at certain ages, right? I love it. Is that true? I don't know if you two get hangry, but I get hangry. Oh my goodness. I've gotten really good at spotting it now. My 20 year old is known to stand in front of the fridge and not be able to, like, decide.

[00:34:22] And so, and I know that his whole day goes better if he knows what to have for breakfast. So that's always my goal. It's like, okay, let's have a breakfast plan. Food is so important, especially, you know, in those childhood ages. I love it. Yeah. Okay. Okay. And the last one, which we are not going to keep as the last question, but what is something you love to do for you for yourself?

[00:34:47] It

[00:34:49] goes in phases. At the end of so for a lot of October and November, I, I like playing with like biohacks [00:35:00] and like exploring like what does feel really good. So I started, I have some water and then I go outside and the, the, the neuroscientist that I was following, he's like, your whole day will be different if you get sunshine in your eyes first thing in the morning.

[00:35:17] So just finding something in the day that's for my body, that's for my, my keel, my centeredness. So now that the sun isn't up for after I get up, now I'm doing some of those cold showers. I'm doing like, I want to feel my body. I want to feel my presence. I want to feel that, that wild. That wildness of something that's a strong sensation.

[00:35:43] So that's always something for my body every day. Very cool. And I have to say, Lindsay, I like that being the last question because it's the last thing that we leave people with. This is true. Like what's something [00:36:00] today, I, and I put this out to, you know, everybody who's listening, you know, what's something that you can do for yourself today, no matter how small, maybe it's just going for a walk, but just what can you do for yourself today?

[00:36:11] That's just about you. Yeah. I love it. It's you first. You get to come first. Yeah. Awesome. Well, Karina, thank you so much. This has been an amazing conversation and I hope we'll hear more from you as a guest on the show in the future or a collaborator. And yeah, we will leave show notes for our listeners to find out so they can find out where they can find you online and learn more from you, from your social media.

[00:36:38] Amazing. Thank you. I had the best time. Best, best, best time. And I have a little gift for you to put in the show notes for your people. Oh, yay. Okay. Great. I want to know what it is. I'm like, sure. Don't leave people hanging. Okay. a practice that I do that helps support coming into noticing [00:37:00] instead of judging.

[00:37:01] Same words, totally different energy that lets you flow with whatever's happening. I call it my, my, what do I call it? Flow to freedom might, there's anyway, there's F's in there. Really good F's, the good F words.

[00:37:13] Awesome. Well, we will share things for you and thank you again for jumping on the show.

[00:37:18] It's been a pleasure. Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you. 

[00:37:22] Before you leave, we want to give a big shout out to our friend and musician, Laura Kosh, who wrote our intro and outro music. Laura is the singer songwriter for the band, the Quirks, and you can find them online at the quirks, K W E R k s.com.If you enjoyed the show, make sure you subscribe, leave a review and share it with other single parents in your life. Thanks for listening. [00:38:00]