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Mean?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":679.92,"endTime":684.6,"body":"Obviously, I'd heard it before."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":684.93,"endTime":688.98,"body":"But it landed in me in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":684.93,"endTime":688.98,"body":"different way. And I got super"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":688.98,"endTime":692.16,"body":"curious about it. I realised I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":688.98,"endTime":692.16,"body":"didn't really know what it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":692.16,"endTime":697.74,"body":"meant. Exactly. Like I kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":692.16,"endTime":697.74,"body":"knew what it felt like. And what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":697.74,"endTime":702.27,"body":"I think I what she, she meant by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":697.74,"endTime":702.27,"body":"that? Well, it turns out, it's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":702.27,"endTime":707.34,"body":"pretty fantastic word that has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":702.27,"endTime":707.34,"body":"lots of sciency stuff, like in,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":707.82,"endTime":712.83,"body":"in sound and chemistry, like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":707.82,"endTime":712.83,"body":"there's all kinds of like, kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":712.83,"endTime":722.73,"body":"of super cool things. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":712.83,"endTime":722.73,"body":"found too, is what I started"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":722.73,"endTime":731.28,"body":"with was is the feeling is this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":722.73,"endTime":731.28,"body":"feeling of some things vibrating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":731.28,"endTime":738.42,"body":"at the same frequency that I am."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":731.28,"endTime":738.42,"body":"And, and when we are vibrating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":738.42,"endTime":742.35,"body":"together, it becomes bigger. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":738.42,"endTime":742.35,"body":"one of the definitions of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":742.35,"endTime":748.08,"body":"resonance is that a small kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":742.35,"endTime":748.08,"body":"of connection creates this much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":748.08,"endTime":753.69,"body":"bigger impact. Which I just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":748.08,"endTime":753.69,"body":"totally love. This idea that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":753.69,"endTime":758.91,"body":"could do like a small thing, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":753.69,"endTime":758.91,"body":"have it really ripple out in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":758.91,"endTime":759.81,"body":"powerful way."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":759.87,"endTime":762.87,"body":"That's yeah, exactly. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":759.87,"endTime":762.87,"body":"Beautiful."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.8,"endTime":769.23,"body":"Yeah. So in regard to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.8,"endTime":769.23,"body":"killings, when I've been playing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":769.23,"endTime":774.75,"body":"with, it's like, I go into a new"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":769.23,"endTime":774.75,"body":"situation, and I say, What do I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":774.75,"endTime":781.14,"body":"feel here? Do I feel like we are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":774.75,"endTime":781.14,"body":"vibrating at the same frequency?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":781.14,"endTime":785.4,"body":"Or are we kind of like, oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":781.14,"endTime":785.4,"body":"mushed up and did not so not so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":785.4,"endTime":790.59,"body":"connected? And or somebody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":785.4,"endTime":790.59,"body":"suggests something? And do I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":790.59,"endTime":796.5,"body":"have this feeling of like, yes."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":790.59,"endTime":796.5,"body":"And sometimes people call that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":796.5,"endTime":800.34,"body":"like, the big yes, or something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":796.5,"endTime":800.34,"body":"kind of feeling like that. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":800.34,"endTime":806.19,"body":"that's what it is, in regards to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":800.34,"endTime":806.19,"body":"my practice with my word and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":806.22,"endTime":812.43,"body":"Beginnings is that I don't want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":806.22,"endTime":812.43,"body":"to begin it. If it doesn't have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":813.06,"endTime":814.89,"body":"some of that resonance."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":815.64,"endTime":819.39,"body":"And this ties directly back to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":815.64,"endTime":819.39,"body":"what we were talking about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":819.39,"endTime":822.78,"body":"before we came on air. And what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":819.39,"endTime":822.78,"body":"we touched on very, very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":822.78,"endTime":824.94,"body":"briefly, right at the beginning"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":822.78,"endTime":824.94,"body":"about, you know, this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":824.94,"endTime":831.9,"body":"conversation that we had about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":824.94,"endTime":831.9,"body":"you being here, me inviting you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.96,"endTime":835.98,"body":"as sort of saying, shall we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.96,"endTime":835.98,"body":"talk, you know, whatever the the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":836.01,"endTime":839.73,"body":"entry point into our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":836.01,"endTime":839.73,"body":"conversations, you know, is each"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":839.73,"endTime":846.24,"body":"time that we speak each time,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":839.73,"endTime":846.24,"body":"there is resonance, because if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":846.24,"endTime":850.86,"body":"there isn't resonance, then the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":846.24,"endTime":850.86,"body":"conversation doesn't flow there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":850.86,"endTime":854.97,"body":"isn't meaning to it. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":850.86,"endTime":854.97,"body":"actually, as I'm sitting here,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":855.78,"endTime":860.97,"body":"I've realised that my word the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":855.78,"endTime":860.97,"body":"word that I keep using for this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":860.97,"endTime":868.5,"body":"year is alignment. Which for me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":860.97,"endTime":868.5,"body":"means much of a similar thing,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":868.53,"endTime":874.74,"body":"but it feels for me, it feels"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":868.53,"endTime":874.74,"body":"like a very still place. The"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":874.74,"endTime":879.36,"body":"alignment was resonances. Like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":874.74,"endTime":879.36,"body":"there's like a there's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":879.48,"endTime":884.85,"body":"vibrational energetic quality to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":879.48,"endTime":884.85,"body":"it. And so maybe this is like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":884.85,"endTime":888.15,"body":"the yin and yang, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":884.85,"endTime":888.15,"body":"where they kind of sit together"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":888.18,"endTime":891.6,"body":"you know, alignment and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":888.18,"endTime":891.6,"body":"resonance they are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":892.05,"endTime":895.68,"body":"I love Yeah, the masculine"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":892.05,"endTime":895.68,"body":"feminine know that I can totally"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":895.68,"endTime":901.8,"body":"see that because you're I there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":895.68,"endTime":901.8,"body":"is a sort of All awareness of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":901.8,"endTime":907.53,"body":"alignments, the buzz of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":901.8,"endTime":907.53,"body":"resonance, right? Yeah, one of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":907.53,"endTime":912.3,"body":"the things I did in exploring my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":907.53,"endTime":912.3,"body":"word was I just, I just Googled"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":912.3,"endTime":918.81,"body":"resonance and images. And I came"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":912.3,"endTime":918.81,"body":"up with some of these most"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":918.81,"endTime":924.87,"body":"beautiful, I don't know what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":918.81,"endTime":924.87,"body":"they are graphs or are following"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":924.87,"endTime":927.99,"body":"the frequency of sound waves and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":924.87,"endTime":927.99,"body":"how they interact with each"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":927.99,"endTime":933.57,"body":"other. But they are these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":927.99,"endTime":933.57,"body":"gorgeous, really dynamic. Even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":933.57,"endTime":937.2,"body":"though they're, they're still"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":933.57,"endTime":937.2,"body":"they they're full of energy. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":937.2,"endTime":941.43,"body":"I can imagine if I Googled"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":937.2,"endTime":941.43,"body":"alignment, there would be a very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":941.43,"endTime":945.69,"body":"different feel to those images,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":941.43,"endTime":945.69,"body":"right? Even though what we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":945.69,"endTime":949.11,"body":"talking about is so it's you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":945.69,"endTime":949.11,"body":"absolutely right. It's the two"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":949.11,"endTime":951.42,"body":"sides of the same thing. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":951.78,"endTime":958.8,"body":"And so this feels like a really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":951.78,"endTime":958.8,"body":"beautiful place to begin. Did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":958.8,"endTime":971.4,"body":"this was such a such an old pro?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":958.8,"endTime":971.4,"body":"So one of the things that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":971.4,"endTime":975.3,"body":"both noted when we were kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":971.4,"endTime":975.3,"body":"sharing thoughts about this was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":975.3,"endTime":981.84,"body":"this idea of paradoxes. And the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":975.3,"endTime":981.84,"body":"contradictions around the sense"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":981.84,"endTime":984.06,"body":"of beginnings, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":981.84,"endTime":984.06,"body":"obviously, you know, for some of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":984.06,"endTime":988.98,"body":"us beginnings feel very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":984.06,"endTime":988.98,"body":"exciting. And, and for others,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":989.07,"endTime":991.98,"body":"it feels like there's a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":989.07,"endTime":991.98,"body":"kind of resistance because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":991.98,"endTime":999.54,"body":"beginnings signify change,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":991.98,"endTime":999.54,"body":"perhaps. And so, so yeah, to,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":999.57,"endTime":1003.05,"body":"you know, and I loved. Just so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":999.57,"endTime":1003.05,"body":"you all know, Susan had this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1003.05,"endTime":1008.78,"body":"kind of the sort of key, like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1003.05,"endTime":1008.78,"body":"touch points for us to explore"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1008.78,"endTime":1011.84,"body":"as we come through this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1008.78,"endTime":1011.84,"body":"conversation. And this feels"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1011.84,"endTime":1017.27,"body":"like a really, really beautiful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1011.84,"endTime":1017.27,"body":"starting point. Just what these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1019.67,"endTime":1025.49,"body":"what this sense of resistance"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1019.67,"endTime":1025.49,"body":"versus excitement can be. What"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1025.49,"endTime":1026.06,"body":"does it Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1026.059,"endTime":1032.719,"body":"and don't, don't you? I mean,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1026.059,"endTime":1032.719,"body":"for me, they can often coexist."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1033.679,"endTime":1040.549,"body":"So, so in regards to Sharon"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1033.679,"endTime":1040.549,"body":"Salzberg, quote, about we begin,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1040.549,"endTime":1044.959,"body":"and we stumble, and we, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1040.549,"endTime":1044.959,"body":"know, we, we run and we fall, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1044.959,"endTime":1048.319,"body":"mean, they all I can't remember"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1044.959,"endTime":1048.319,"body":"exactly, all things. But, but it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1048.319,"endTime":1052.429,"body":"was that sense, right? Like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1048.319,"endTime":1052.429,"body":"it's all part of what we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1052.429,"endTime":1057.109,"body":"doing to get in this, whatever"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1052.429,"endTime":1057.109,"body":"practice it is, let's just say,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1057.829,"endTime":1064.249,"body":"and I find it for myself that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1057.829,"endTime":1064.249,"body":"will, even something that I love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1064.249,"endTime":1070.279,"body":"to do that, right at the point"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1064.249,"endTime":1070.279,"body":"where I'm going to begin it, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1070.279,"endTime":1077.419,"body":"can feel like yay, or nay at the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1070.279,"endTime":1077.419,"body":"same time, that there's part of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1077.419,"endTime":1081.019,"body":"me that is ready and excited and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1077.419,"endTime":1081.019,"body":"wanting to dive in. And there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1081.019,"endTime":1083.749,"body":"part of these, like, we don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1081.019,"endTime":1083.749,"body":"know exactly what's going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1083.749,"endTime":1084.199,"body":"happen."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1084.559,"endTime":1089.809,"body":"So one that sparks a thought for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1084.559,"endTime":1089.809,"body":"me that one of the things I have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1089.809,"endTime":1097.189,"body":"slowly become aware of about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1089.809,"endTime":1097.189,"body":"myself is that for me to choose"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1097.189,"endTime":1102.289,"body":"to begin something to choose to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1097.189,"endTime":1102.289,"body":"do something that is new to me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1103.129,"endTime":1111.259,"body":"I have to be really sure that it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1103.129,"endTime":1111.259,"body":"is the right thing. Because what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1111.259,"endTime":1116.209,"body":"I don't want to do, and I say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1111.259,"endTime":1116.209,"body":"this without judgement, if it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1116.209,"endTime":1120.319,"body":"does happen, but what I what I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1116.209,"endTime":1120.319,"body":"don't want to do is to half"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1120.319,"endTime":1127.939,"body":"commit to something. So when I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1120.319,"endTime":1127.939,"body":"stopped eating meat when I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1128.629,"endTime":1135.739,"body":"21, I think I had I had been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1128.629,"endTime":1135.739,"body":"vegetarian when I was eight and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1135.739,"endTime":1138.589,"body":"then I was vegetarian again when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1135.739,"endTime":1138.589,"body":"I was 14. And then I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1138.589,"endTime":1142.399,"body":"vegetarian again, sort of really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1138.589,"endTime":1142.399,"body":"like briefly when I was about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1142.399,"endTime":1148.099,"body":"16. And so when I got to 21 and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1142.399,"endTime":1148.099,"body":"I was like this like it was this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1148.129,"endTime":1155.479,"body":"really like strong drive of this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1148.129,"endTime":1155.479,"body":"really just feels right to stop"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1155.539,"endTime":1161.539,"body":"eating meat. I had to be really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1155.539,"endTime":1161.539,"body":"sure with myself that I really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1161.539,"endTime":1170.029,"body":"was stopping. Huh huh? And, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1161.539,"endTime":1170.029,"body":"so and I have noted with other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1170.059,"endTime":1173.029,"body":"sort of choices, decisions that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1170.059,"endTime":1173.029,"body":"I've made through my life and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1173.029,"endTime":1178.159,"body":"actually now I'm really mindful."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1173.029,"endTime":1178.159,"body":"I haven't been running for a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1178.159,"endTime":1182.509,"body":"couple of years, bad back to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1178.159,"endTime":1182.509,"body":"frozen shoulders, blah, blah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1183.499,"endTime":1189.529,"body":"And I know I'm, I'm pretty much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1183.499,"endTime":1189.529,"body":"like it's okay enough that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1189.529,"endTime":1195.079,"body":"could go running again. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1189.529,"endTime":1195.079,"body":"so mindful of not just flinging"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1195.079,"endTime":1199.159,"body":"myself out into you know, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1195.079,"endTime":1199.159,"body":"running shoes and like charging"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1199.159,"endTime":1204.769,"body":"down the road. because what I,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1199.159,"endTime":1204.769,"body":"because I want to commit to it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1204.769,"endTime":1211.849,"body":"I need to know that I am ready"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1204.769,"endTime":1211.849,"body":"to begin that practice without"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1212.839,"endTime":1213.589,"body":"stopping."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1214.94,"endTime":1220.01,"body":"Okay, so I have a question for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1214.94,"endTime":1220.01,"body":"you What? What would happen? If"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1220.01,"endTime":1224.84,"body":"you did? What happens if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1220.01,"endTime":1224.84,"body":"started and you stopped it? What"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1224.84,"endTime":1226.67,"body":"does it What would it mean? What"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1224.84,"endTime":1226.67,"body":"it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1226.669,"endTime":1236.899,"body":"means is it distils? No wrong"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1226.669,"endTime":1236.899,"body":"word it dilutes me energy that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1236.899,"endTime":1242.299,"body":"will have felt toward it. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1236.899,"endTime":1242.299,"body":"some of that energy will be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1242.299,"endTime":1247.219,"body":"dissipated. And so the fear then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1242.299,"endTime":1247.219,"body":"is that it'll take me such a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1247.219,"endTime":1251.329,"body":"long time to garner all the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1247.219,"endTime":1251.329,"body":"energy again that I will go."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1252.289,"endTime":1256.999,"body":"Okay, it's about marshalling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1252.289,"endTime":1256.999,"body":"resources may be maybe it's that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1257.72,"endTime":1263.63,"body":"interesting. Interesting."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1257.72,"endTime":1263.63,"body":"Because if when you tell that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1263.63,"endTime":1270.62,"body":"story about your, your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1263.63,"endTime":1270.62,"body":"relationship with not eating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1270.62,"endTime":1277.43,"body":"meat, that to me is exactly what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1270.62,"endTime":1277.43,"body":"Sharon Salzberg is talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.43,"endTime":1283.22,"body":"about, yeah. That we begin, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.43,"endTime":1283.22,"body":"then we stop, we begin and then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1283.22,"endTime":1287.36,"body":"we realise what oh, shoot, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1283.22,"endTime":1287.36,"body":"forgot about this, or it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1287.36,"endTime":1292.97,"body":"inconvenient, or, and then I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1287.36,"endTime":1292.97,"body":"began again, and I begin again."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1294.05,"endTime":1301.22,"body":"And, and that is not just okay."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1294.05,"endTime":1301.22,"body":"But it's part of our aspiration."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1301.64,"endTime":1303.35,"body":"And in some ways,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1303.47,"endTime":1307.07,"body":"I'm now in solidarity. And now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1303.47,"endTime":1307.07,"body":"feel like I'm like, I've just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1307.07,"endTime":1309.89,"body":"gone straight into, gosh, you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1307.07,"endTime":1309.89,"body":"so right."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1310.67,"endTime":1316.1,"body":"Right. So So I would really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1310.67,"endTime":1316.1,"body":"invite you to ask yourself, How"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1316.1,"endTime":1324.98,"body":"can I begin running with coal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1316.1,"endTime":1324.98,"body":"curiosity? Because your body is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1324.98,"endTime":1329.84,"body":"different than when the last"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1324.98,"endTime":1329.84,"body":"time you ran? And you, I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1329.84,"endTime":1332.12,"body":"you're living in a different"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1329.84,"endTime":1332.12,"body":"place. And so you're going to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1332.12,"endTime":1335.33,"body":"living with her, your running"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1332.12,"endTime":1335.33,"body":"route is going to be different."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1336.17,"endTime":1341.51,"body":"Who knows? And maybe you start"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1336.17,"endTime":1341.51,"body":"doing it and you're like, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1341.51,"endTime":1347.39,"body":"realise now that I just hate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1341.51,"endTime":1347.39,"body":"this. That's the fear. That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1347.39,"endTime":1348.77,"body":"the fear. That's the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1348.769,"endTime":1354.379,"body":"fear, because I love running. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1348.769,"endTime":1354.379,"body":"love it so much. That's the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1354.379,"endTime":1359.869,"body":"fear. And I think there's some,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1354.379,"endTime":1359.869,"body":"okay, so there are two, I've got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1359.869,"endTime":1366.109,"body":"two paradoxical conflicting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1359.869,"endTime":1366.109,"body":"thoughts here, here we go. So,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1366.649,"endTime":1374.089,"body":"the marshalling the resources,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1366.649,"endTime":1374.089,"body":"to feel the commitment, like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1374.089,"endTime":1379.699,"body":"deep in my belly feels like an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1374.089,"endTime":1379.699,"body":"important thing, because I want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1379.699,"endTime":1385.099,"body":"to, I want to give it my due"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1379.699,"endTime":1385.099,"body":"care and attention and love and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1385.429,"endTime":1390.229,"body":"to really like nourish myself in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1385.429,"endTime":1390.229,"body":"the process of going running"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1390.229,"endTime":1400.099,"body":"again. And, and I also hear the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1390.229,"endTime":1400.099,"body":"release of all of that, and, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1400.099,"endTime":1403.789,"body":"the letting go of the fear about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1400.099,"endTime":1403.789,"body":"I might hate it. And there are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1403.789,"endTime":1406.519,"body":"really steep hills around here."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1403.789,"endTime":1406.519,"body":"And I used to live in the Fens,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1406.519,"endTime":1412.189,"body":"which are flat. And, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1406.519,"endTime":1412.189,"body":"releasing all of the worry about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1412.189,"endTime":1417.169,"body":"not being able to do it as well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1412.189,"endTime":1417.169,"body":"that's the other thing. And so,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1417.319,"endTime":1421.699,"body":"this reminds me of my beautiful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1417.319,"endTime":1421.699,"body":"friend of mine, Abby, who's been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1421.699,"endTime":1428.059,"body":"on the podcast as well, way, way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1421.699,"endTime":1428.059,"body":"back about 90 episodes ago, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1428.059,"endTime":1433.159,"body":"think it is now. And one of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1428.059,"endTime":1433.159,"body":"things that she has noted is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1433.669,"endTime":1439.789,"body":"that she no longer sees when she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1433.669,"endTime":1439.789,"body":"gets injured running as a source"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1439.789,"endTime":1444.739,"body":"of frustration as a problem as a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1439.789,"endTime":1444.739,"body":"problem, or as a place where she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1444.739,"endTime":1448.819,"body":"can like oh, just lose herself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1444.739,"endTime":1448.819,"body":"and self criticism of like, oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1448.819,"endTime":1451.969,"body":"you know, you fall Why did you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1448.819,"endTime":1451.969,"body":"go that route? You know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1451.969,"endTime":1457.189,"body":"whatever the thing is, and now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1451.969,"endTime":1457.189,"body":"she simply sees it as a time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1457.189,"endTime":1462.229,"body":"when she can heal, and begin"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1457.189,"endTime":1462.229,"body":"again. Yeah. And she will go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1462.229,"endTime":1468.079,"body":"back to one minute run one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1462.229,"endTime":1468.079,"body":"minute walk. Yeah, that's really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1468.109,"endTime":1472.579,"body":"that's beautiful. Actually, I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1468.109,"endTime":1472.579,"body":"just had a massive reframe in my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.579,"endTime":1473.149,"body":"head."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1474.41,"endTime":1479.48,"body":"Well, I think I do want to say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1474.41,"endTime":1479.48,"body":"that I think I loved how you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1479.48,"endTime":1486.29,"body":"said I wanted to the the I want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1479.48,"endTime":1486.29,"body":"to feel aligned with this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1486.29,"endTime":1490.31,"body":"choice. I want to feel that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1486.29,"endTime":1490.31,"body":"resonance in my belly. I want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1490.31,"endTime":1498.83,"body":"feel it. Yeah, I think that that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1490.31,"endTime":1498.83,"body":"is it is valuable to do that. To"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1498.89,"endTime":1502.46,"body":"choose the thing Things that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1498.89,"endTime":1502.46,"body":"really feel like the right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1502.46,"endTime":1507.14,"body":"things. And then and say to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1502.46,"endTime":1507.14,"body":"yourself, I don't know how it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1507.14,"endTime":1514.46,"body":"gonna go. And I might walk the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1507.14,"endTime":1514.46,"body":"whole time today and run for one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1514.46,"endTime":1519.59,"body":"minute. Or who knows? I mean,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1514.46,"endTime":1519.59,"body":"who knows, but like releasing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1519.59,"endTime":1524.87,"body":"the expectation around it, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1519.59,"endTime":1524.87,"body":"trusting the the resonance."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1524.9,"endTime":1528.77,"body":"Right. And to end the practice"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1524.9,"endTime":1528.77,"body":"that beginning again is not a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1528.77,"endTime":1532.4,"body":"problem. It's not a time. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1528.77,"endTime":1532.4,"body":"I want to think Sharon Salzberg"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1532.4,"endTime":1536.93,"body":"says, It's the magic moment, is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1532.4,"endTime":1536.93,"body":"when you realise that you've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1536.93,"endTime":1539.81,"body":"wandered away from your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1536.93,"endTime":1539.81,"body":"intention or from your practice."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1540.08,"endTime":1543.14,"body":"And you you you realise that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1540.08,"endTime":1543.14,"body":"it's not a problem. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1543.14,"endTime":1544.01,"body":"fantastic."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1545.21,"endTime":1548.72,"body":"The phrase I've got going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1545.21,"endTime":1548.72,"body":"through my head, which I've had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1548.72,"endTime":1553.04,"body":"to write down, actually is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1548.72,"endTime":1553.04,"body":"commit and let go."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1553.52,"endTime":1559.52,"body":"Yes. Yeah. Right. And so I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1553.52,"endTime":1559.52,"body":"that it's super wise not to just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1559.52,"endTime":1563.15,"body":"like commit willy nilly, to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1559.52,"endTime":1563.15,"body":"whatever the heck that like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1563.15,"endTime":1567.38,"body":"comes across, right? This is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1563.15,"endTime":1567.38,"body":"really important that I know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1567.38,"endTime":1572.87,"body":"people are asking things of you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1567.38,"endTime":1572.87,"body":"And, and, and when when we get a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1572.87,"endTime":1578.84,"body":"bunch of, of possibilities that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1572.87,"endTime":1578.84,"body":"are presented to us, we can get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1579.32,"endTime":1583.61,"body":"confused. I for me, I can get,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1579.32,"endTime":1583.61,"body":"you know, confused or, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1583.61,"endTime":1586.79,"body":"fearful that if I say no, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1583.61,"endTime":1586.79,"body":"they'll never it'll never come"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1586.79,"endTime":1591.32,"body":"again or something like that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1586.79,"endTime":1591.32,"body":"And instead if I can really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1591.32,"endTime":1597.74,"body":"allow myself to feel the, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1591.32,"endTime":1597.74,"body":"true, yes, the aligned resonant."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1597.74,"endTime":1605.24,"body":"Yes. And then let it go, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1597.74,"endTime":1605.24,"body":"then go in and dive in. And and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1605.24,"endTime":1610.97,"body":"see what happens without, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1605.24,"endTime":1610.97,"body":"the fear around trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1610.97,"endTime":1613.73,"body":"predict what that's going to be."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1610.97,"endTime":1613.73,"body":"Because good luck with that,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1613.73,"endTime":1614.09,"body":"honey."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1614.21,"endTime":1618.05,"body":"Yes, I can be so true. And so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1614.21,"endTime":1618.05,"body":"there's this thing about the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1618.05,"endTime":1622.43,"body":"discernment, the discernment of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1618.05,"endTime":1622.43,"body":"listening in to the resonance,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1622.58,"endTime":1626.24,"body":"or the alignment, like, Does"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1622.58,"endTime":1626.24,"body":"this feel right for me, and, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1626.24,"endTime":1630.14,"body":"there's a really strong"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1626.24,"endTime":1630.14,"body":"connection here for me with all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1630.14,"endTime":1633.32,"body":"of that stuff that we were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1630.14,"endTime":1633.32,"body":"talking about that, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1633.35,"endTime":1638.15,"body":"the bombardment of messaging"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1633.35,"endTime":1638.15,"body":"that happens at the turn of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1638.18,"endTime":1644.15,"body":"year, and all the shoulds and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1638.18,"endTime":1644.15,"body":"musts and all sorts that come"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1644.27,"endTime":1649.61,"body":"piling in, often from places"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1644.27,"endTime":1649.61,"body":"that you really wouldn't expect"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1649.61,"endTime":1656.15,"body":"it. But it's almost because that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1649.61,"endTime":1656.15,"body":"the system of the of the, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1656.15,"endTime":1660.5,"body":"know, the New Year system sort"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1656.15,"endTime":1660.5,"body":"of lays down the law that this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1660.5,"endTime":1665.21,"body":"is how everyone must speak to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1660.5,"endTime":1665.21,"body":"each other at this time of year,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1665.3,"endTime":1668.66,"body":"we must all ask each other what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1665.3,"endTime":1668.66,"body":"are your resolutions for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1668.66,"endTime":1672.17,"body":"drinking this shake? If you want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1668.66,"endTime":1672.17,"body":"to be healthier? And the new"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1672.17,"endTime":1672.74,"body":"year? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1672.77,"endTime":1676.25,"body":"yeah, you must be looking to how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1672.77,"endTime":1676.25,"body":"you're going to fulfil your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1676.25,"endTime":1681.05,"body":"professional potential, you must"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1676.25,"endTime":1681.05,"body":"be developing your confidence"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1681.05,"endTime":1685.16,"body":"skills, you must be like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1681.05,"endTime":1685.16,"body":"whatever the thing is. And, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1685.16,"endTime":1690.62,"body":"so that can be where were the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1685.16,"endTime":1690.62,"body":"sort of, well, for me, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1690.62,"endTime":1697.85,"body":"overwhelming, like seeing all of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1690.62,"endTime":1697.85,"body":"that, that I just retreat? For,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1697.88,"endTime":1702.41,"body":"you know, in another body, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1697.88,"endTime":1702.41,"body":"might charge a number of things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1702.41,"endTime":1706.34,"body":"sign up, like say yes, like, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1702.41,"endTime":1706.34,"body":"know, high energy, like, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1706.34,"endTime":1710.27,"body":"really what I want, and throwing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1706.34,"endTime":1710.27,"body":"myself at stuff that I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1710.27,"endTime":1714.62,"body":"actually do. Unpaid, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1710.27,"endTime":1714.62,"body":"unused gym memberships bring to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1714.62,"endTime":1720.59,"body":"mind. But so there's that thing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1714.62,"endTime":1720.59,"body":"about? Yeah, Gosh, I really love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1720.59,"endTime":1726.53,"body":"this the really the the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1720.59,"endTime":1726.53,"body":"listening in, to what, what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1726.53,"endTime":1731.18,"body":"feels true. And where do you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1726.53,"endTime":1731.18,"body":"sense that paradox or that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1731.18,"endTime":1736.19,"body":"contradiction between the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1731.18,"endTime":1736.19,"body":"excitement? And maybe the fear?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1736.7,"endTime":1737.21,"body":"As well as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1737.96,"endTime":1743.42,"body":"the resistance of the resistance"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1737.96,"endTime":1743.42,"body":"behind? Yeah, yeah. And, and so,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1744.29,"endTime":1752.06,"body":"for me in this, in this frame, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1744.29,"endTime":1752.06,"body":"would say, once I have the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1752.06,"endTime":1762.47,"body":"resonance, once I have that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1752.06,"endTime":1762.47,"body":"feeling, then my job or my, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1762.47,"endTime":1769.01,"body":"role here, is just to do my best"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1762.47,"endTime":1769.01,"body":"and just see what happens as you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1769.01,"endTime":1777.47,"body":"say, you know, commit and like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1769.01,"endTime":1777.47,"body":"and, and that that would include"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1778.16,"endTime":1782.54,"body":"beginning again, within the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1778.16,"endTime":1782.54,"body":"context, right. It's like, if if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1782.54,"endTime":1786.77,"body":"it doesn't go the way I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1782.54,"endTime":1786.77,"body":"doesn't mean well, it's all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1786.77,"endTime":1791.51,"body":"garbage and I have to throw it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1786.77,"endTime":1791.51,"body":"all away. In Quite on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1791.51,"endTime":1796.46,"body":"contrary, is that that in fact,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1791.51,"endTime":1796.46,"body":"that's a magic moment and part"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1796.46,"endTime":1800.87,"body":"of the practice and trusting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1796.46,"endTime":1800.87,"body":"that residence. And this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1800.87,"endTime":1804.65,"body":"like, okay, so I just begin"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1800.87,"endTime":1804.65,"body":"again. And I go and lace up my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1804.65,"endTime":1811.19,"body":"trainers, as you say, in the UK"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1804.65,"endTime":1811.19,"body":"or throw on your sneakers, as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1811.19,"endTime":1815.45,"body":"they say over here. And you get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1811.19,"endTime":1815.45,"body":"out there and go again and see"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1815.45,"endTime":1816.38,"body":"what happens."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1817.279,"endTime":1826.519,"body":"So well, what is something that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1817.279,"endTime":1826.519,"body":"you are finding yourself?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1826.639,"endTime":1830.029,"body":"Beginning or beginning again?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1826.639,"endTime":1830.029,"body":"Right now?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1833.059,"endTime":1838.249,"body":"Yeah, that's a great question."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1833.059,"endTime":1838.249,"body":"I've got a couple of things, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1838.249,"endTime":1842.929,"body":"would say, is as, as listeners"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1838.249,"endTime":1842.929,"body":"may remember, I teach movement"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1842.929,"endTime":1850.819,"body":"classes, which I, I adore. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1842.929,"endTime":1850.819,"body":"every time I go to step into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1850.819,"endTime":1854.689,"body":"class, I do it with a certain"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1850.819,"endTime":1854.689,"body":"amount of resistance. There's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1854.689,"endTime":1861.859,"body":"certain part of me that feels"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1854.689,"endTime":1861.859,"body":"anxious or reluctant to begin."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1863.149,"endTime":1868.819,"body":"And I think it's safe to say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1863.149,"endTime":1868.819,"body":"that I have never stepped out of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1868.819,"endTime":1873.979,"body":"a class and said, well, shoot. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1868.819,"endTime":1873.979,"body":"wish I hadn't done that. Before,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1873.979,"endTime":1877.669,"body":"right. I mean, it never happens."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1873.979,"endTime":1877.669,"body":"I always walk out and just be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1877.669,"endTime":1883.009,"body":"like, Oh, right. That's great."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1877.669,"endTime":1883.009,"body":"But so every class so in answer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1883.009,"endTime":1885.229,"body":"to your question, one of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1883.009,"endTime":1885.229,"body":"things is everything. Every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1885.229,"endTime":1891.979,"body":"class I teach, I'm stepping in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1885.229,"endTime":1891.979,"body":"with a certain contradictory"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1891.979,"endTime":1896.509,"body":"feelings around it. A little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1891.979,"endTime":1896.509,"body":"excitement, a little anxiety a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1896.509,"endTime":1901.339,"body":"little. Yes, please. A little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1896.509,"endTime":1901.339,"body":"No, no, no, thank you very much."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1902.299,"endTime":1908.929,"body":"The other thing that I am"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1902.299,"endTime":1908.929,"body":"beginning again, recently is, is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1908.929,"endTime":1915.769,"body":"making more visual art. I felt"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1908.929,"endTime":1915.769,"body":"very stuck around that practice."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1915.799,"endTime":1921.199,"body":"And, and I can find myself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1915.799,"endTime":1921.199,"body":"looking at my art supplies and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1921.199,"endTime":1928.309,"body":"saying, I don't know what to do,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1921.199,"endTime":1928.309,"body":"I feel uninspired. And and, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1928.309,"endTime":1934.129,"body":"so for like, four months, I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1928.309,"endTime":1934.129,"body":"just, you might my, my art areas"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1934.129,"endTime":1937.939,"body":"right over there. And I would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1934.129,"endTime":1937.939,"body":"just be like, given it stink guy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1937.939,"endTime":1940.819,"body":"from over here, just like go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1937.939,"endTime":1940.819,"body":"down want to have anything do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1940.819,"endTime":1946.579,"body":"that. And what I have been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1940.819,"endTime":1946.579,"body":"playing with a Susan, just show"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1946.579,"endTime":1953.749,"body":"up, just get them out and just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1946.579,"endTime":1953.749,"body":"play around. And there's part of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1953.749,"endTime":1957.289,"body":"me, it's like, cross, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1953.749,"endTime":1957.289,"body":"that's not gonna work. You've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1957.289,"endTime":1961.699,"body":"got to know what you're gonna"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1957.289,"endTime":1961.699,"body":"do. And, you know, it does work."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1962.329,"endTime":1967.879,"body":"It does work. And what happens,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1962.329,"endTime":1967.879,"body":"I make a bunch of little things."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1968.929,"endTime":1973.429,"body":"I sometimes make a small piece"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1968.929,"endTime":1973.429,"body":"that I'm sending to my mom or my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1973.429,"endTime":1977.749,"body":"niece or something. And then I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1973.429,"endTime":1977.749,"body":"think, wow, that's really fun."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1977.749,"endTime":1982.909,"body":"That was cool. Let me What if I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1977.749,"endTime":1982.909,"body":"made it bigger? Right. But so so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1982.909,"endTime":1987.589,"body":"that's sort of a bigger process"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1982.909,"endTime":1987.589,"body":"that I am exploring in a bit of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1987.589,"endTime":1991.699,"body":"a different way than the sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1987.589,"endTime":1991.699,"body":"regular thing. I do tell my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1991.699,"endTime":1995.149,"body":"students, sometimes my movement"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1991.699,"endTime":1995.149,"body":"students that it's a good, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1995.149,"endTime":1997.789,"body":"a good thing, I'm the teacher,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1995.149,"endTime":1997.789,"body":"because if I wasn't a teacher,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1997.789,"endTime":2003.309,"body":"half the time, I wouldn't show"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1997.789,"endTime":2003.309,"body":"up. And, you know, it's because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2003.309,"endTime":2006.909,"body":"I've made that commitment, as we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2003.309,"endTime":2006.909,"body":"were talking about and, and, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2006.909,"endTime":2009.399,"body":"know, after doing it for a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2006.909,"endTime":2009.399,"body":"couple of decades, I can say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2009.399,"endTime":2012.849,"body":"with, with certainty that this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2009.399,"endTime":2012.849,"body":"is something that's important to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2012.849,"endTime":2016.869,"body":"me, and that resonates with me."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2012.849,"endTime":2016.869,"body":"And that matters to me. So I do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2016.869,"endTime":2019.719,"body":"keep showing up, even though"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2016.869,"endTime":2019.719,"body":"there's all kinds of grumble"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2019.719,"endTime":2026.469,"body":"parts that are that are sitting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2019.719,"endTime":2026.469,"body":"around about this. And the art"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2026.469,"endTime":2031.059,"body":"practice is a little different"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2026.469,"endTime":2031.059,"body":"in that I have the ability just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2031.059,"endTime":2038.049,"body":"to sort of set it aside. And so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2031.059,"endTime":2038.049,"body":"my re starting with that was a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2038.049,"endTime":2043.779,"body":"little bit different. And but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2038.049,"endTime":2043.779,"body":"it's the same thing, right? It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2043.779,"endTime":2048.369,"body":"the same thing of just, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2043.779,"endTime":2048.369,"body":"this constant flow of getting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2048.369,"endTime":2051.909,"body":"stuck. And as Sharon says,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2048.369,"endTime":2051.909,"body":"falling down and stumbling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2051.909,"endTime":2055.089,"body":"around, and then like, oh, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2051.909,"endTime":2055.089,"body":"then there's that the WHO that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2055.089,"endTime":2058.749,"body":"feeling again, and then and then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2055.089,"endTime":2058.749,"body":"begin to back out. And again,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2058.779,"endTime":2061.749,"body":"it's just, huh, yeah, round and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2058.779,"endTime":2061.749,"body":"round."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2062.049,"endTime":2066.939,"body":"It's listening to you. So I for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2062.049,"endTime":2066.939,"body":"me, because I was thinking as I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2066.939,"endTime":2069.069,"body":"asked you the question, I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2066.939,"endTime":2069.069,"body":"thinking, Is there anything that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2069.069,"endTime":2073.119,"body":"I'm beginning again, other than"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2069.069,"endTime":2073.119,"body":"the running Why should I talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2073.119,"endTime":2076.239,"body":"about running so much? I mean,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2073.119,"endTime":2076.239,"body":"it's just, you know, I really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2076.239,"endTime":2082.089,"body":"need to do more of it and talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2076.239,"endTime":2082.089,"body":"about it less. However, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2082.089,"endTime":2088.869,"body":"other thing for me where I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2082.089,"endTime":2088.869,"body":"feeling the resistance is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2088.869,"endTime":2095.979,"body":"beginning again, aspect is I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2088.869,"endTime":2095.979,"body":"have realised that I have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2095.979,"endTime":2101.139,"body":"another volume of my darling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2095.979,"endTime":2101.139,"body":"girl. Birthday. thing itself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2101.169,"endTime":2107.109,"body":"through my solar plexus is what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2101.169,"endTime":2107.109,"body":"it feels like. And when I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2107.469,"endTime":2114.309,"body":"gathered up all of the love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2107.469,"endTime":2114.309,"body":"letters that weren't in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2114.399,"endTime":2118.839,"body":"first volume, turns out, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2114.399,"endTime":2118.839,"body":"actually have exactly the right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2118.839,"endTime":2127.509,"body":"number for volume two. So it is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2118.839,"endTime":2127.509,"body":"now designed. And just going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2127.509,"endTime":2135.639,"body":"through kind of editing process,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2127.509,"endTime":2135.639,"body":"and I am in a similar sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2135.639,"endTime":2141.609,"body":"way, you know, with you with the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2135.639,"endTime":2141.609,"body":"kind of art in this like this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2141.759,"endTime":2147.009,"body":"slightly conflicted place of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2141.759,"endTime":2147.009,"body":"this feels extremely vulnerable."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2148.029,"endTime":2151.629,"body":"But I've been extremely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2148.029,"endTime":2151.629,"body":"vulnerable before because I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2151.629,"endTime":2157.149,"body":"published the first volume. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2151.629,"endTime":2157.149,"body":"so that also can be a sense of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2157.149,"endTime":2161.499,"body":"like, begin again, like come"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2157.149,"endTime":2161.499,"body":"back to that place of absolute"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2161.859,"endTime":2168.429,"body":"wrongness. And begin again, like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2161.859,"endTime":2168.429,"body":"really feel into what is that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2168.429,"endTime":2172.239,"body":"like, because I've forgotten it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2168.429,"endTime":2172.239,"body":"was two and a half years ago."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2172.509,"endTime":2178.599,"body":"And, and it has surprised me at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2172.509,"endTime":2178.599,"body":"how raw it feels. And so then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2178.599,"endTime":2181.299,"body":"there's that my observer is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2178.599,"endTime":2181.299,"body":"going, Oh, that's a delicious"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2181.299,"endTime":2185.019,"body":"thing, my darling, that's just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2181.299,"endTime":2185.019,"body":"really feel into this and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2185.259,"endTime":2189.489,"body":"experience this again. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2185.259,"endTime":2189.489,"body":"I know that once it's published,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2189.489,"endTime":2192.999,"body":"it's out of my hands. And, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2189.489,"endTime":2192.999,"body":"again, that that's another begin"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2192.999,"endTime":2199.989,"body":"again, because it's it's it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2192.999,"endTime":2199.989,"body":"beginning, release, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2200.019,"endTime":2201.099,"body":"beginning and ending,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2201.91,"endTime":2203.56,"body":"beginning and letting, letting,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2201.91,"endTime":2203.56,"body":"letting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2203.59,"endTime":2206.95,"body":"go letting it go. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2203.59,"endTime":2206.95,"body":"absolutely yeah. Ending, it's,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2207.01,"endTime":2212.5,"body":"it's accountability to me, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2207.01,"endTime":2212.5,"body":"it's just often and it's, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2212.5,"endTime":2214.6,"body":"know, it's in the world. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2212.5,"endTime":2214.6,"body":"nothing to do with me then."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2215.26,"endTime":2221.8,"body":"Right. So, yeah, there's some,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2215.26,"endTime":2221.8,"body":"and I got this, there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2221.8,"endTime":2228.94,"body":"something else going on here. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2221.8,"endTime":2228.94,"body":"think there's something about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2228.97,"endTime":2232.72,"body":"also the coming back to that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2228.97,"endTime":2232.72,"body":"kind of pressure about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2232.72,"endTime":2239.71,"body":"beginning. And, and also that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2232.72,"endTime":2239.71,"body":"there are so there's this kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2239.71,"endTime":2245.56,"body":"of cyclical time thing of when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2239.71,"endTime":2245.56,"body":"women to begin things, but I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2245.56,"endTime":2249.37,"body":"think also there are times of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2245.56,"endTime":2249.37,"body":"our life when there is pressure"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2249.37,"endTime":2256.24,"body":"to begin, you know, or to adopt"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2249.37,"endTime":2256.24,"body":"a particular mindset, which is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2256.24,"endTime":2259.3,"body":"like beginning that particular"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2256.24,"endTime":2259.3,"body":"mindset. So I'm thinking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2259.3,"endTime":2264.88,"body":"particularly about things like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2259.3,"endTime":2264.88,"body":"retirement or grief loss."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2266.62,"endTime":2271.96,"body":"Menopause as a life stage, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2266.62,"endTime":2271.96,"body":"know, we're often the rhetoric"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2272.08,"endTime":2280.9,"body":"can be about this is, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2272.08,"endTime":2280.9,"body":"this is, this is a time to look"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2280.9,"endTime":2285.97,"body":"ahead at retirement, let's take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2280.9,"endTime":2285.97,"body":"that. And actually, for an awful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2285.97,"endTime":2290.95,"body":"lot of people, it's a time of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2285.97,"endTime":2290.95,"body":"great loss, and a time of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2291.04,"endTime":2299.23,"body":"ending. And, and we also have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2291.04,"endTime":2299.23,"body":"honour that, as well, we, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2299.23,"endTime":2303.04,"body":"know, there's much more just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2299.23,"endTime":2303.04,"body":"sort of, there's much more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2303.04,"endTime":2306.7,"body":"awareness of that now, there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2303.04,"endTime":2306.7,"body":"much more awareness of the need"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2306.73,"endTime":2311.98,"body":"to honour what went before,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2306.73,"endTime":2311.98,"body":"rather than just barreling into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2312.34,"endTime":2318.64,"body":"what's ahead. But I think it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2312.34,"endTime":2318.64,"body":"still kind of warrants some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2318.67,"endTime":2322.63,"body":"attention, when we think about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2318.67,"endTime":2322.63,"body":"this sort of concept of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2322.63,"endTime":2328.33,"body":"beginning with resonance."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2322.63,"endTime":2328.33,"body":"Because part of that resonance"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2328.33,"endTime":2334.87,"body":"is how, how do I actually feel?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2328.33,"endTime":2334.87,"body":"About what? What went before?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2335.56,"endTime":2340.12,"body":"For sure? Sure. And that is all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2335.56,"endTime":2340.12,"body":"coming with you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2341.71,"endTime":2342.52,"body":"With you,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2342.88,"endTime":2349.24,"body":"right, so one of the things that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2342.88,"endTime":2349.24,"body":"I talk about when in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2349.24,"endTime":2357.55,"body":"physical body is in regards to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2349.24,"endTime":2357.55,"body":"say alignment is and listeners,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2357.55,"endTime":2361.27,"body":"if you're not driving in an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2357.55,"endTime":2361.27,"body":"automobile, you could do this,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2361.63,"endTime":2366.1,"body":"you could stand up and feel your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2361.63,"endTime":2366.1,"body":"body just sort of rock just in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2366.1,"endTime":2370.15,"body":"very small way, front and back."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2366.1,"endTime":2370.15,"body":"And a little bit side to side"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2370.15,"endTime":2372.91,"body":"and just finding kind of your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2370.15,"endTime":2372.91,"body":"alignment finding your centre"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2374.38,"endTime":2382.66,"body":"and, and one of the things that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2374.38,"endTime":2382.66,"body":"we can do is explore was there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2382.66,"endTime":2385.96,"body":"a whole practice with this, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2382.66,"endTime":2385.96,"body":"but when we talk about front and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2385.96,"endTime":2388.39,"body":"back, which is really what we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2385.96,"endTime":2388.39,"body":"talking about and beginnings and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2388.39,"endTime":2395.02,"body":"endings is our culture as you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2388.39,"endTime":2395.02,"body":"point out so well. It's like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2395.05,"endTime":2400.75,"body":"it's tumbling forward. 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And so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2425.95,"endTime":2430.45,"body":"sometimes, what I invite people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2425.95,"endTime":2430.45,"body":"to do is when they are ready to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2430.45,"endTime":2434.38,"body":"step into whatever if it's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2430.45,"endTime":2434.38,"body":"movement experience, or a next"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2434.38,"endTime":2439.45,"body":"time of life, is to do it from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2434.38,"endTime":2439.45,"body":"the support from behind. And we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2439.45,"endTime":2444.67,"body":"sometimes have the image of this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2439.45,"endTime":2444.67,"body":"big one, like a kangaroo tail,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2444.67,"endTime":2451.03,"body":"or T Rex tail that reaches back,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2444.67,"endTime":2451.03,"body":"and it's just like, holding us"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2451.03,"endTime":2457.6,"body":"up. And that's our experience"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2451.03,"endTime":2457.6,"body":"that everything that we have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2457.6,"endTime":2461.83,"body":"done in our whole lives until"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2457.6,"endTime":2461.83,"body":"this moment, and all of that has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2461.83,"endTime":2467.8,"body":"your back, is there supporting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2461.83,"endTime":2467.8,"body":"you. And it's, it's from there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2467.83,"endTime":2472.03,"body":"that we can move forward, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2467.83,"endTime":2472.03,"body":"It's like this holistic moving"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2472.03,"endTime":2475.75,"body":"forward, rather than the Western"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2472.03,"endTime":2475.75,"body":"culture of like Latin America"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2475.78,"endTime":2480.31,"body":"tumbling into. Right. And it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2475.78,"endTime":2480.31,"body":"funny, I see it in people's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2480.31,"endTime":2484.69,"body":"bodies, often, that people tend"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2480.31,"endTime":2484.69,"body":"to be just sort of leaning"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2484.69,"endTime":2489.37,"body":"forward. And I'm always like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2484.69,"endTime":2489.37,"body":"come on back and just feel all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2489.4,"endTime":2491.92,"body":"the strength and all of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2489.4,"endTime":2491.92,"body":"support that's right there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2491.92,"endTime":2496.06,"body":"behind you. And that's, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2491.92,"endTime":2496.06,"body":"exactly. And that's that, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2496.06,"endTime":2500.32,"body":"think that retirement is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2496.06,"endTime":2500.32,"body":"perfect example. It's like, oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2500.32,"endTime":2503.23,"body":"what are all the great travel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2500.32,"endTime":2503.23,"body":"and you could start like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2503.23,"endTime":2507.49,"body":"volunteer and well, what what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2503.23,"endTime":2507.49,"body":"are you bringing with you what's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2507.49,"endTime":2512.98,"body":"supporting you as you step into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2507.49,"endTime":2512.98,"body":"whatever's next and feel both at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2512.98,"endTime":2513.88,"body":"the same time?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2514.33,"endTime":2519.01,"body":"And I think that idea, I love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2514.33,"endTime":2519.01,"body":"that idea of the the kangaroo"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2519.01,"endTime":2525.25,"body":"tail, the sort of point of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2519.01,"endTime":2525.25,"body":"support that we can also, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2525.25,"endTime":2528.58,"body":"know, at times when you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2525.25,"endTime":2528.58,"body":"tired, you can kind of just eat"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2528.61,"endTime":2534.28,"body":"just have a little lean back."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2528.61,"endTime":2534.28,"body":"Just to keep you up, right, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2534.28,"endTime":2540.31,"body":"know, it's okay. And yes, and it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2534.28,"endTime":2540.31,"body":"applies, it applies, I think, to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2540.31,"endTime":2546.1,"body":"any life stage change. And, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2540.31,"endTime":2546.1,"body":"know, I think this kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2546.1,"endTime":2549.58,"body":"transition through through"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2546.1,"endTime":2549.58,"body":"midlife, whether you're male or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2549.58,"endTime":2558.16,"body":"female brings with it you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2549.58,"endTime":2558.16,"body":"so much, so much change so much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2558.16,"endTime":2562.69,"body":"like, who am I now? Who was I?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2558.16,"endTime":2562.69,"body":"Then who am I becoming all of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2562.69,"endTime":2569.11,"body":"that? And actually, to kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2562.69,"endTime":2569.11,"body":"to hold this sense of everything"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2569.11,"endTime":2573.76,"body":"we were comes with us everything"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2569.11,"endTime":2573.76,"body":"we've learned the, and that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2573.76,"endTime":2577.48,"body":"there is room for the joy and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2573.76,"endTime":2577.48,"body":"the pain? Yeah, I think is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2577.48,"endTime":2581.47,"body":"other sort of aspect of that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2577.48,"endTime":2581.47,"body":"And it's really, I mean, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2581.92,"endTime":2586.3,"body":"talking my darling girl, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2581.92,"endTime":2586.3,"body":"know, those, I call them love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2586.3,"endTime":2590.44,"body":"letters for all the girls and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2586.3,"endTime":2590.44,"body":"women we have ever been. Yes."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2590.47,"endTime":2595.15,"body":"Because that's the sense of, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2590.47,"endTime":2595.15,"body":"know, everyone is with us."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2595.419,"endTime":2599.469,"body":"Right. And that's what the Brene"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2595.419,"endTime":2599.469,"body":"Brown talks about that midlife"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2599.649,"endTime":2603.279,"body":"she calls it. I think she calls"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2599.649,"endTime":2603.279,"body":"it. The home for wayward girls"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2604.569,"endTime":2607.569,"body":"is what midlife is that she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2604.569,"endTime":2607.569,"body":"feels like she's gathering up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2607.599,"endTime":2613.239,"body":"all of the girls and young women"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2607.599,"endTime":2613.239,"body":"and middle young, middle aged"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2613.239,"endTime":2616.149,"body":"women, that she's been in her"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2613.239,"endTime":2616.149,"body":"whole life. And she's just like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2616.539,"endTime":2620.439,"body":"taking care of all of them. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2616.539,"endTime":2620.439,"body":"getting wisdom from all of them"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2620.439,"endTime":2623.889,"body":"and getting inspiration from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2620.439,"endTime":2623.889,"body":"them. Yeah, I love that. I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2623.889,"endTime":2627.249,"body":"that's great. And I'm doing a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2623.889,"endTime":2627.249,"body":"little happy dance that another"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2627.249,"endTime":2632.559,"body":"volumes coming out. That is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2627.249,"endTime":2632.559,"body":"amazing. And I know what a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2632.739,"endTime":2636.759,"body":"tremendous undertaking making a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2632.739,"endTime":2636.759,"body":"book is so I just want to honour"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2636.759,"endTime":2637.629,"body":"that too. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2638.59,"endTime":2642.55,"body":"yeah, thank you, Susan. Thank"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2638.59,"endTime":2642.55,"body":"you, it'll appear at some point"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2642.64,"endTime":2649.39,"body":"when it you know when it does."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2642.64,"endTime":2649.39,"body":"It does. Because that's, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2649.39,"endTime":2653.32,"body":"the that's the resonance. That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2649.39,"endTime":2653.32,"body":"the alignment and so and so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2653.32,"endTime":2660.22,"body":"there's something here as well"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2653.32,"endTime":2660.22,"body":"about I think you you you raise"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2660.22,"endTime":2666.34,"body":"something before we came on, on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2660.22,"endTime":2666.34,"body":"air, which I found really are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2666.34,"endTime":2672.04,"body":"such a beautiful distinction"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2666.34,"endTime":2672.04,"body":"between this difference between"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2672.04,"endTime":2676.63,"body":"the act of beginning and the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2672.04,"endTime":2676.63,"body":"state of being a beginner and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2676.63,"endTime":2679.75,"body":"know we've touched on it a bit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2676.63,"endTime":2679.75,"body":"around the running and you know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2679.75,"endTime":2688.06,"body":"how how we can support ourselves"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2679.75,"endTime":2688.06,"body":"with this mindset of it is okay"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2688.18,"endTime":2692.41,"body":"to begin again. Yes, you and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2688.18,"endTime":2692.41,"body":"thank you Sharon, you know for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2692.83,"endTime":2697.15,"body":"kind of feeding this to us"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2692.83,"endTime":2697.15,"body":"endlessly. I know that the power"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2697.24,"endTime":2697.9,"body":"of this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2697.93,"endTime":2700.51,"body":"Thank goodness she says it many"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2697.93,"endTime":2700.51,"body":"times like oh Over and over,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2700.9,"endTime":2701.53,"body":"doesn't matter."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2701.56,"endTime":2705.16,"body":"I mean, in fact, her her New"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2701.56,"endTime":2705.16,"body":"Year, I just loved it, her new"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2705.16,"endTime":2711.61,"body":"year post was we can always"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2705.16,"endTime":2711.61,"body":"begin again. And then the next"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2711.85,"endTime":2715.0,"body":"sort of slide, you know, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2711.85,"endTime":2715.0,"body":"next image was, we can always"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2715.0,"endTime":2718.27,"body":"begin again. And then the next"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2715.0,"endTime":2718.27,"body":"one was we can always begin"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2718.27,"endTime":2724.72,"body":"again, like 12 Full images or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2718.27,"endTime":2724.72,"body":"the words we can always and it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2724.72,"endTime":2727.75,"body":"like, Okay, I'm getting it. I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2724.72,"endTime":2727.75,"body":"kind of getting this message"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2727.75,"endTime":2728.11,"body":"now."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2728.26,"endTime":2736.21,"body":"Right. Right. And then and so so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2728.26,"endTime":2736.21,"body":"yeah, I think. Yeah, it is. We"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2736.21,"endTime":2741.49,"body":"can't say it enough that it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2736.21,"endTime":2741.49,"body":"not only is it not a bad thing,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2741.64,"endTime":2746.86,"body":"but it is an essential thing."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2741.64,"endTime":2746.86,"body":"And, and so I think that so far,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2746.86,"endTime":2751.0,"body":"we've mostly been talking about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2746.86,"endTime":2751.0,"body":"this, this process of beginning."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2751.45,"endTime":2757.15,"body":"But what what I also wanted to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2751.45,"endTime":2757.15,"body":"introduce into the conversation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2757.15,"endTime":2762.25,"body":"was the idea of being a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2757.15,"endTime":2762.25,"body":"beginner. 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And so I just, I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2788.05,"endTime":2795.88,"body":"that that is also a sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2795.88,"endTime":2802.51,"body":"radical and countercultural"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2795.88,"endTime":2802.51,"body":"notion is to allow myself to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2802.54,"endTime":2809.44,"body":"a beginner, and to not know."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2802.54,"endTime":2809.44,"body":"And, you know, we are so trained"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2809.44,"endTime":2814.69,"body":"to, like, have the quick answer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2809.44,"endTime":2814.69,"body":"or have the the pithy summation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2814.69,"endTime":2818.8,"body":"to know to know what's going on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2814.69,"endTime":2818.8,"body":"knowing know what to do, and all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2818.8,"endTime":2823.21,"body":"of that, yeah, Ticket, ticket it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2818.8,"endTime":2823.21,"body":"all from the from the head. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2823.69,"endTime":2827.29,"body":"being in beginner's mind is sort"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2823.69,"endTime":2827.29,"body":"of like I think of it as sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2827.29,"endTime":2830.95,"body":"this toddler part of me that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2827.29,"endTime":2830.95,"body":"kind of wanders into a situation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2830.95,"endTime":2836.35,"body":"going, Wow, what's going on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2830.95,"endTime":2836.35,"body":"here? And what are we doing? Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2836.35,"endTime":2840.82,"body":"this is kind of cool. What can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2836.35,"endTime":2840.82,"body":"we do? And so whether it's me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2840.82,"endTime":2845.98,"body":"teaching your class, or you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2840.82,"endTime":2845.98,"body":"going running, or they're, there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2845.98,"endTime":2850.69,"body":"are me doing art again, it's the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2845.98,"endTime":2850.69,"body":"same thing, right? It's, it's,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2850.72,"endTime":2855.73,"body":"there's first there's the act of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2850.72,"endTime":2855.73,"body":"choosing to begin. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2855.97,"endTime":2858.7,"body":"there's the stepping in with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2855.97,"endTime":2858.7,"body":"like, I don't know what how it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2858.7,"endTime":2859.3,"body":"gonna go."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2859.419,"endTime":2863.109,"body":"That's so beautiful. And do you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2859.419,"endTime":2863.109,"body":"know what I've realised, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2863.109,"endTime":2867.819,"body":"I've never, I've never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2863.109,"endTime":2867.819,"body":"articulated this to myself or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2867.819,"endTime":2872.799,"body":"anyone, but there is a moment"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2867.819,"endTime":2872.799,"body":"when I first start coaching with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2872.799,"endTime":2878.529,"body":"somebody, where we've had, we've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2872.799,"endTime":2878.529,"body":"had a discovery call. So we've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2878.529,"endTime":2881.799,"body":"had, and we've spent an hour in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2878.529,"endTime":2881.799,"body":"each other's company, and I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2881.799,"endTime":2887.979,"body":"got a kind of sense of, like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2881.799,"endTime":2887.979,"body":"where they are, and we've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2887.979,"endTime":2891.909,"body":"started to sort of, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2887.979,"endTime":2891.909,"body":"get a sense of where they want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2891.909,"endTime":2900.219,"body":"to get to. But that first"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2891.909,"endTime":2900.219,"body":"coaching conversation, might be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2900.249,"endTime":2903.279,"body":"a month afterwards. And so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2900.249,"endTime":2903.279,"body":"they're in a different place,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2903.279,"endTime":2908.139,"body":"you know, a month on stuff will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2903.279,"endTime":2908.139,"body":"have changed. And, and I will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2908.139,"endTime":2912.639,"body":"have changed in that month. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2908.139,"endTime":2912.639,"body":"you know, so actually, it is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2913.179,"endTime":2923.409,"body":"beginning point. And I have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2913.179,"endTime":2923.409,"body":"and, and do go into every single"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2923.409,"endTime":2926.409,"body":"one of those conversations with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2923.409,"endTime":2926.409,"body":"the beginner's mind, and I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2926.409,"endTime":2929.949,"body":"never really thought about it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2926.409,"endTime":2929.949,"body":"But I know that when I first"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2929.949,"endTime":2931.959,"body":"started coaching, I didn't."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2934.24,"endTime":2937.78,"body":"I read, you've got your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2934.24,"endTime":2937.78,"body":"questions. You're like, this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2937.78,"endTime":2940.36,"body":"what we're going to do. I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2937.78,"endTime":2940.36,"body":"going to take her here, and then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2940.36,"endTime":2941.59,"body":"she's going to we're going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2940.36,"endTime":2941.59,"body":"talk about how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2941.59,"endTime":2945.01,"body":"we're going to use this model."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2941.59,"endTime":2945.01,"body":"You know, and I've got this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2945.01,"endTime":2951.37,"body":"fabulous tool that I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2945.01,"endTime":2951.37,"body":"exercise this exercise. Exactly."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2951.67,"endTime":2958.18,"body":"And now I know in all of my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2951.67,"endTime":2958.18,"body":"wisdom, and I know that not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2958.18,"endTime":2962.05,"body":"everybody works this way, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2958.18,"endTime":2962.05,"body":"that is absolutely okay. But for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2962.05,"endTime":2967.6,"body":"me, I have to go in with the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2962.05,"endTime":2967.6,"body":"beginner's mind, because that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2967.6,"endTime":2973.93,"body":"the only way that I can serve in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2967.6,"endTime":2973.93,"body":"the best way that I can serve."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2974.5,"endTime":2974.92,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2976.27,"endTime":2980.02,"body":"And yeah, and and you're coming"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2976.27,"endTime":2980.02,"body":"but yeah, I think there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2980.05,"endTime":2982.84,"body":"there's a lot of interesting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2980.05,"endTime":2982.84,"body":"things at play here. But one of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2982.84,"endTime":2985.27,"body":"them is that you are bringing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2982.84,"endTime":2985.27,"body":"your kangaroo tail"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2985.27,"endTime":2989.29,"body":"exactly. I mean, exactly."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2985.27,"endTime":2989.29,"body":"Because that way I'm actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2989.29,"endTime":2992.2,"body":"bringing the whole of myself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2989.29,"endTime":2992.2,"body":"rather than just this like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2992.2,"endTime":2996.25,"body":"narrow part that goes I know the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2992.2,"endTime":2996.25,"body":"answer before I even know what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2996.25,"endTime":2998.23,"body":"the question is. I know the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2996.25,"endTime":2998.23,"body":"answer."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3000.0,"endTime":3005.46,"body":"Yeah, and oh, and what was the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3000.0,"endTime":3005.46,"body":"there was a connecting thought?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3009.51,"endTime":3015.0,"body":"I know. I can't remember if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3009.51,"endTime":3015.0,"body":"we've raised Ram Dass yet"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3015.03,"endTime":3018.15,"body":"whether his name has come up in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3015.03,"endTime":3018.15,"body":"this conversation yet No, not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3018.15,"endTime":3023.79,"body":"yet. A contemporary, while"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3018.15,"endTime":3023.79,"body":"Sharon Salzberg is quite a bit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3023.79,"endTime":3030.39,"body":"younger, but they they hung out,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3023.79,"endTime":3030.39,"body":"I believe quite a lot. In this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3030.39,"endTime":3037.98,"body":"isn't a quote from him, but from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3030.39,"endTime":3037.98,"body":"a just from one of his books. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3037.98,"endTime":3044.4,"body":"somebody else said, old age can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3037.98,"endTime":3044.4,"body":"be a wonderful thing. As long as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3044.4,"endTime":3054.3,"body":"we haven't forgotten how to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3044.4,"endTime":3054.3,"body":"begin. So that way, so old age"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3054.33,"endTime":3059.88,"body":"can be a wonderful thing. As"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3054.33,"endTime":3059.88,"body":"long as we haven't forgotten how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3059.88,"endTime":3066.12,"body":"to begin, right? And that is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3059.88,"endTime":3066.12,"body":"beginner's mind, isn't it?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3066.18,"endTime":3072.63,"body":"Right? Yeah. That is enter into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3066.18,"endTime":3072.63,"body":"every life stage, every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3072.63,"endTime":3079.44,"body":"experience with, with the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3072.63,"endTime":3079.44,"body":"remembering of how it is to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3079.44,"endTime":3086.01,"body":"begin. Yeah. Because Because if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3079.44,"endTime":3086.01,"body":"we don't have I mean, this goes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3086.01,"endTime":3088.32,"body":"back to the Zen Buddhist saying,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3086.01,"endTime":3088.32,"body":"if we don't have this beginner's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3088.32,"endTime":3092.43,"body":"mind, we come in believing that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3088.32,"endTime":3092.43,"body":"we are that we know the score,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3092.43,"endTime":3095.61,"body":"and when we think we know, well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3092.43,"endTime":3095.61,"body":"then there's nothing left to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3095.61,"endTime":3103.74,"body":"know. And so therefore, we have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3095.61,"endTime":3103.74,"body":"built these walls around us. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3105.18,"endTime":3107.85,"body":"in and I've just got sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3105.18,"endTime":3107.85,"body":"going through my mind that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3107.88,"endTime":3110.55,"body":"they're kind of Rolodex, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3107.88,"endTime":3110.55,"body":"know, flick, sort of people that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3110.55,"endTime":3117.84,"body":"I know and I, people who are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3110.55,"endTime":3117.84,"body":"open to beginning again, people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3117.84,"endTime":3126.03,"body":"are open to that beginner's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3117.84,"endTime":3126.03,"body":"mind, to being unsure. From"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3126.03,"endTime":3130.47,"body":"CEOs, actually, all the way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3126.03,"endTime":3130.47,"body":"through an organisation from,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3130.5,"endTime":3136.47,"body":"you know, friends, family"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3130.5,"endTime":3136.47,"body":"members, whatever. And there is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3136.47,"endTime":3142.2,"body":"a there's a kind of sense of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3136.47,"endTime":3142.2,"body":"sort of wonder, wonder, I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3142.2,"endTime":3150.33,"body":"in them, and a willingness to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3142.2,"endTime":3150.33,"body":"foolish. It's, I mean, brings"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3150.33,"endTime":3151.23,"body":"joy. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3152.31,"endTime":3162.45,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. I think that's right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3152.31,"endTime":3162.45,"body":"on, I think that there is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3162.48,"endTime":3167.37,"body":"sort of paradox of walking into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3162.48,"endTime":3167.37,"body":"a situation knowing that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3167.37,"endTime":3171.96,"body":"have never been in your case,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3167.37,"endTime":3171.96,"body":"you've never coached this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3171.96,"endTime":3175.17,"body":"person, even if you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3171.96,"endTime":3175.17,"body":"actually, right, to be honest,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3175.17,"endTime":3178.08,"body":"every day. They're, they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3175.17,"endTime":3178.08,"body":"different. You're different"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3178.11,"endTime":3184.68,"body":"every session. Right? Exactly."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3178.11,"endTime":3184.68,"body":"Um, and so it's this, this, this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3184.68,"endTime":3189.93,"body":"openness and willingness, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3184.68,"endTime":3189.93,"body":"the trust, the trust that you'll"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3189.93,"endTime":3195.21,"body":"know, the right, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3189.93,"endTime":3195.21,"body":"you'll you'll follow the flow of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3195.21,"endTime":3199.95,"body":"it and know what is actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3195.21,"endTime":3199.95,"body":"right, and not what you your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3200.16,"endTime":3204.54,"body":"brain is just assignment, your,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3200.16,"endTime":3204.54,"body":"your, your, the part of you a it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3204.54,"endTime":3207.3,"body":"for me, it's the part of me that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3204.54,"endTime":3207.3,"body":"is uncomfortable with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3207.3,"endTime":3211.56,"body":"uncertainty. Like I want to go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3207.3,"endTime":3211.56,"body":"into those situations and know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3211.56,"endTime":3218.46,"body":"how it's gonna go. And as you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3211.56,"endTime":3218.46,"body":"say that, you know, I'm sure I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3218.46,"endTime":3223.2,"body":"could teach a class like that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3218.46,"endTime":3223.2,"body":"And, and it feels very different"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3223.2,"endTime":3228.18,"body":"than the ones where I say, okay,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3223.2,"endTime":3228.18,"body":"here are some possibilities, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3228.18,"endTime":3229.47,"body":"we'll just see what happens."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3229.53,"endTime":3232.71,"body":"And that that for me is is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3229.53,"endTime":3232.71,"body":"actually what a Master"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3232.71,"endTime":3238.44,"body":"Practitioner looks like. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3232.71,"endTime":3238.44,"body":"so Abby, again, she's so she's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3238.44,"endTime":3247.26,"body":"here twice. She's shown up in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3238.44,"endTime":3247.26,"body":"this conversation. She She is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3247.89,"endTime":3255.42,"body":"voicework teacher. And one of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3247.89,"endTime":3255.42,"body":"the things that she said to me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3257.19,"endTime":3261.75,"body":"so she teaches at skier OS,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3257.19,"endTime":3261.75,"body":"which is a retreat in Greece,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3261.75,"endTime":3265.29,"body":"it's quite well known retreat."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3261.75,"endTime":3265.29,"body":"It's been running for about 40"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3265.29,"endTime":3269.43,"body":"years. And she talked to me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3265.29,"endTime":3269.43,"body":"about her experience there last"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3269.43,"endTime":3276.09,"body":"year, where she realise that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3269.43,"endTime":3276.09,"body":"she'd spent the last 20 years"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3276.18,"endTime":3281.76,"body":"teaching. And then last year,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3276.18,"endTime":3281.76,"body":"she realised how much better it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3281.76,"endTime":3288.75,"body":"was if she stopped, which meant"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3281.76,"endTime":3288.75,"body":"that the experience of being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3288.75,"endTime":3294.21,"body":"with these people was so much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3288.75,"endTime":3294.21,"body":"more enriching, and she was able"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3294.21,"endTime":3302.19,"body":"to just carry the process and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3294.21,"endTime":3302.19,"body":"lead it flow. And, and I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3302.19,"endTime":3305.91,"body":"she's always done that, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3302.19,"endTime":3305.91,"body":"there's always been this part of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3305.91,"endTime":3311.34,"body":"wanting some degree of control."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3305.91,"endTime":3311.34,"body":"Yeah. Whereas this time she just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3311.34,"endTime":3314.85,"body":"let it go. So. So there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3311.34,"endTime":3314.85,"body":"something here as well about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3315.36,"endTime":3322.77,"body":"beginning from a place of almost"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3315.36,"endTime":3322.77,"body":"like innocence. No expectations,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3322.77,"endTime":3325.62,"body":"it's back to the letting go."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3322.77,"endTime":3325.62,"body":"It's the trust."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3326.82,"endTime":3329.97,"body":"Yeah. Fascinating. I want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3326.82,"endTime":3329.97,"body":"meet me some Abby."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3330.03,"endTime":3333.81,"body":"Oh, you really do. But maybe we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3333.81,"endTime":3337.5,"body":"have to have a three way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3333.81,"endTime":3337.5,"body":"conversation because what is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3337.5,"endTime":3342.45,"body":"fascinating to me, I am actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3337.5,"endTime":3342.45,"body":"considering not stopping calling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3342.45,"endTime":3350.85,"body":"myself a teacher for this very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3342.45,"endTime":3350.85,"body":"reason. That my my observation,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3351.24,"endTime":3354.18,"body":"and the longer I do this is that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3351.24,"endTime":3354.18,"body":"I'm not teaching anybody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3354.18,"endTime":3358.65,"body":"anything. I'm creating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3354.18,"endTime":3358.65,"body":"opportunities. I'm creating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3360.84,"endTime":3364.02,"body":"ideas. I'm like, I'm reminding"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3360.84,"endTime":3364.02,"body":"people of stuff they already"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3364.02,"endTime":3367.32,"body":"know. Right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3367.41,"endTime":3370.83,"body":"It's the reason why I don't like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3367.41,"endTime":3370.83,"body":"the word coach. I don't think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3371.61,"endTime":3376.23,"body":"people I just don't I think I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3371.61,"endTime":3376.23,"body":"walk beside people."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3377.94,"endTime":3382.02,"body":"Right, exactly. Yeah, exactly. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3377.94,"endTime":3382.02,"body":"sometimes I also think of myself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3382.02,"endTime":3387.06,"body":"sometimes as a tour guide and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3382.02,"endTime":3387.06,"body":"guide. Exactly. And I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3387.09,"endTime":3390.12,"body":"Okay, you might not have noticed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3387.09,"endTime":3390.12,"body":"this, but I'm going to point"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3390.12,"endTime":3393.42,"body":"this out to you. I don't know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3390.12,"endTime":3393.42,"body":"how does it land with you? Maybe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3393.42,"endTime":3396.93,"body":"it's interesting. Maybe you want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3393.42,"endTime":3396.93,"body":"to go down this other end of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3396.96,"endTime":3403.8,"body":"museum? Have at it, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3396.96,"endTime":3403.8,"body":"but um, yeah, I, it's exactly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3403.8,"endTime":3407.43,"body":"very similar with the coach"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3403.8,"endTime":3407.43,"body":"ideas. Like, there's something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3408.27,"endTime":3414.69,"body":"about that word. Yeah. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3408.27,"endTime":3414.69,"body":"And, and there is, and there is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3414.69,"endTime":3418.29,"body":"this sort of hierarchical thing."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3414.69,"endTime":3418.29,"body":"I appreciate this, like, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3418.29,"endTime":3424.98,"body":"then in and out. Like, that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3418.29,"endTime":3424.98,"body":"not what I do. Um, so I love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3424.98,"endTime":3426.12,"body":"that I love me some heavy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3428.22,"endTime":3433.89,"body":"You really? Yeah. Yeah. I might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3428.22,"endTime":3433.89,"body":"have to orchestrate an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3433.89,"endTime":3434.76,"body":"introduction."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3434.91,"endTime":3439.74,"body":"Yes, I think maybe. Well, I know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3434.91,"endTime":3439.74,"body":"that we're just mindful of our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3439.74,"endTime":3449.1,"body":"time. But I did want to weave in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3439.74,"endTime":3449.1,"body":"this idea that the title of this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3449.1,"endTime":3455.04,"body":"thing not withstanding that what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3449.1,"endTime":3455.04,"body":"happens if there's really no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3455.04,"endTime":3459.99,"body":"such thing as a beginning? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3455.04,"endTime":3459.99,"body":"what happens if everything is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3459.99,"endTime":3465.81,"body":"just part of this big flow. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3459.99,"endTime":3465.81,"body":"we talked about, there's the the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3465.81,"endTime":3470.61,"body":"line in the in Dan Wilson songs"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3465.81,"endTime":3470.61,"body":"every beginning is at some other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3470.61,"endTime":3475.86,"body":"beginnings, and that every time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3470.61,"endTime":3475.86,"body":"we say yes to something, we are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3475.86,"endTime":3479.61,"body":"stepping away from something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3475.86,"endTime":3479.61,"body":"else. Every time we move"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3479.61,"endTime":3482.43,"body":"forward, we're moving away from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3479.61,"endTime":3482.43,"body":"something else, it's just like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3482.43,"endTime":3489.72,"body":"this part of the flow of time of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3482.43,"endTime":3489.72,"body":"flow of our lives. And, for me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3490.26,"endTime":3497.43,"body":"as sort of mind bending as it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3490.26,"endTime":3497.43,"body":"can be. It's so helpful, to not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3497.46,"endTime":3502.17,"body":"to not get attached to, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3497.46,"endTime":3502.17,"body":"know, I'm starting this right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3502.17,"endTime":3506.7,"body":"now. You know, I turn over the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3502.17,"endTime":3506.7,"body":"January, I love that we're doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3506.7,"endTime":3512.46,"body":"the beginnings thing in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3506.7,"endTime":3512.46,"body":"February. So fantastic. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3512.94,"endTime":3518.76,"body":"instead seeing all of it, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3512.94,"endTime":3518.76,"body":"like the divine feminine is this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3519.45,"endTime":3526.47,"body":"huge flow of, of life energy. At"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3519.45,"endTime":3526.47,"body":"the risk of becoming, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3526.47,"endTime":3532.38,"body":"sort of woowoo we, but it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3526.47,"endTime":3532.38,"body":"true, that, that it is all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3532.38,"endTime":3536.76,"body":"interconnected. And sort of like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3532.38,"endTime":3536.76,"body":"we were talking about our past"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3536.76,"endTime":3543.18,"body":"is always with us, and we bring"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3536.76,"endTime":3543.18,"body":"it with us. And this this idea"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3543.18,"endTime":3550.95,"body":"that everything is being birthed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3543.18,"endTime":3550.95,"body":"and dying at the same time."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3551.22,"endTime":3553.74,"body":"And where does anything begins?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3551.22,"endTime":3553.74,"body":"Yeah, where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3553.74,"endTime":3558.3,"body":"does anything? Yeah, I mean, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3553.74,"endTime":3558.3,"body":"zoom out far enough. You know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3558.3,"endTime":3561.57,"body":"it's it's all just part of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3558.3,"endTime":3561.57,"body":"flow of things."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3562.05,"endTime":3566.34,"body":"And when we say You know, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3562.05,"endTime":3566.34,"body":"talked about us having the the T"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3566.34,"endTime":3570.72,"body":"Rex tail or the kangaroo tail."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3566.34,"endTime":3570.72,"body":"So one of the things that I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3570.72,"endTime":3575.49,"body":"sometimes talk about is that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3570.72,"endTime":3575.49,"body":"have a peacocks tail. It's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3575.49,"endTime":3579.57,"body":"very beautiful thing, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3575.49,"endTime":3579.57,"body":"everybody's got one. And each"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3579.57,"endTime":3583.8,"body":"one of the eyes of the peacocks"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3579.57,"endTime":3583.8,"body":"tail is a system that we've been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3583.8,"endTime":3588.66,"body":"part of, and we so the biggest"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3583.8,"endTime":3588.66,"body":"most densely packed one is like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3588.66,"endTime":3592.23,"body":"right behind his work, which is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3588.66,"endTime":3592.23,"body":"our family system. But also"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3592.23,"endTime":3596.7,"body":"every system as in every class"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3592.23,"endTime":3596.7,"body":"at school, every group, every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3596.7,"endTime":3599.67,"body":"friendship group, every book"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3596.7,"endTime":3599.67,"body":"club, every whatever job we've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3599.67,"endTime":3606.84,"body":"ever had. They're all systems"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3599.67,"endTime":3606.84,"body":"and, and each one is influenced"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3607.05,"endTime":3612.93,"body":"and influences us in some way."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3607.05,"endTime":3612.93,"body":"And everyone who was ever part"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3612.93,"endTime":3616.56,"body":"of that system carries their own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3612.93,"endTime":3616.56,"body":"peacocks tail with all of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3616.56,"endTime":3619.65,"body":"other systems that they're part"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3616.56,"endTime":3619.65,"body":"of. So you get this sense of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3619.65,"endTime":3625.38,"body":"this enormous network of systems"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3619.65,"endTime":3625.38,"body":"that we are all part of. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3625.38,"endTime":3629.91,"body":"when you think about the family"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3625.38,"endTime":3629.91,"body":"system, you go back seven"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3629.91,"endTime":3633.03,"body":"generations, and I can't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3629.91,"endTime":3633.03,"body":"remember what the number is, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3633.03,"endTime":3637.86,"body":"it's, it's well over 200 people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3633.03,"endTime":3637.86,"body":"have have influenced us, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3637.86,"endTime":3639.66,"body":"know, grandparents, great"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3637.86,"endTime":3639.66,"body":"grandparents, great, great,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3639.66,"endTime":3646.62,"body":"great grandparents. And, and so,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3639.66,"endTime":3646.62,"body":"you can look at something that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3646.62,"endTime":3651.6,"body":"do like a behaviour I have or a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3646.62,"endTime":3651.6,"body":"belief I have, I don't know that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3654.3,"endTime":3658.05,"body":"money is something to worry"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3654.3,"endTime":3658.05,"body":"about, okay, classic belief."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3658.44,"endTime":3664.5,"body":"Now, that belief, I will have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3658.44,"endTime":3664.5,"body":"got learnt somewhere down the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3664.5,"endTime":3668.49,"body":"line from one of my parents who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3664.5,"endTime":3668.49,"body":"will have learnt it from one of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3668.49,"endTime":3670.71,"body":"their parents who will have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3668.49,"endTime":3670.71,"body":"learnt it from one of their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3670.71,"endTime":3673.17,"body":"parents and will have learnt it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3670.71,"endTime":3673.17,"body":"from one of their parents, back"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3673.17,"endTime":3678.15,"body":"to the point where somebody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3673.17,"endTime":3678.15,"body":"really really struggled for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3678.15,"endTime":3681.69,"body":"money, and it meant life or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3678.15,"endTime":3681.69,"body":"death. And it was like, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3681.69,"endTime":3684.63,"body":"deeply ingrained, and they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3681.69,"endTime":3684.63,"body":"taught it to their children, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3684.63,"endTime":3687.78,"body":"that message got carried down"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3684.63,"endTime":3687.78,"body":"because it was so important. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3687.78,"endTime":3694.14,"body":"so even with like belief"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3687.78,"endTime":3694.14,"body":"systems, the family like stories"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3694.2,"endTime":3699.63,"body":"that we carry, it can often be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3694.2,"endTime":3699.63,"body":"really hard to see where they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3700.2,"endTime":3707.64,"body":"began, because, because they go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3700.2,"endTime":3707.64,"body":"back so far in time. And you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3707.64,"endTime":3711.96,"body":"know, and just that sense of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3707.64,"endTime":3711.96,"body":"kind of that life is this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3712.02,"endTime":3720.57,"body":"endless flow. When when we do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3712.02,"endTime":3720.57,"body":"step back, you know, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3720.57,"endTime":3725.28,"body":"literally go back far enough, a,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3720.57,"endTime":3725.28,"body":"everything becomes so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3725.28,"endTime":3729.06,"body":"insignificant and meaningless."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3725.28,"endTime":3729.06,"body":"And you just have to laugh at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3729.06,"endTime":3733.17,"body":"the, you know, the hilarity of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3729.06,"endTime":3733.17,"body":"the fact that you and I are even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3733.17,"endTime":3735.81,"body":"here having this conversation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3733.17,"endTime":3735.81,"body":"with these delicious, delightful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3735.81,"endTime":3740.55,"body":"people listening, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3735.81,"endTime":3740.55,"body":"hopefully, following us on this,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3740.61,"endTime":3745.35,"body":"you know, crazy ridiculous"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3740.61,"endTime":3745.35,"body":"conversation because like how on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3745.41,"endTime":3750.93,"body":"earth any of this ever actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3745.41,"endTime":3750.93,"body":"came to be is mind blowing back"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3750.93,"endTime":3754.05,"body":"to looking at the moon and, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3750.93,"endTime":3754.05,"body":"know, wanting to be sick,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3754.05,"endTime":3758.07,"body":"because it was just so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3754.05,"endTime":3758.07,"body":"incredible. I lost myself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3758.07,"endTime":3763.92,"body":"slightly in my little rampage."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3758.07,"endTime":3763.92,"body":"You know, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3764.07,"endTime":3771.48,"body":"I just think that, um, I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3764.07,"endTime":3771.48,"body":"that the big the bigger message"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3771.66,"endTime":3776.79,"body":"from this whole conversation is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3771.66,"endTime":3776.79,"body":"to be a little less precious."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3778.2,"endTime":3782.22,"body":"Brilliant, and, and a little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3778.2,"endTime":3782.22,"body":"less precious with endings and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3782.22,"endTime":3785.73,"body":"just honouring them for what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3782.22,"endTime":3785.73,"body":"they are, but without getting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3785.76,"endTime":3789.33,"body":"too wound around the axle about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3785.76,"endTime":3789.33,"body":"about them, because they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3789.33,"endTime":3795.93,"body":"happening all the time. And, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3789.33,"endTime":3795.93,"body":"what we can always do is just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3796.05,"endTime":3797.16,"body":"begin again, again."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3798.57,"endTime":3801.9,"body":"A well done, Susan, for pulling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3798.57,"endTime":3801.9,"body":"us back from the brink there."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3803.46,"endTime":3809.64,"body":"Oh, my darling. Wonderful. As"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3803.46,"endTime":3809.64,"body":"always, thank you so much for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3809.64,"endTime":3814.41,"body":"joining us. And I can't wait for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3809.64,"endTime":3814.41,"body":"our next conversation. I really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3814.41,"endTime":3814.74,"body":"can't."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3815.16,"endTime":3819.24,"body":"And I also, as always, just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3815.16,"endTime":3819.24,"body":"would love to hear from anybody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3819.24,"endTime":3824.64,"body":"listening about your own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3819.24,"endTime":3824.64,"body":"experience. The the wisdom that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3824.64,"endTime":3828.66,"body":"you've gained about beginnings"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3824.64,"endTime":3828.66,"body":"and endings and being a beginner"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3828.66,"endTime":3832.71,"body":"and not being a coach and not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3828.66,"endTime":3832.71,"body":"being a teacher."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3833.28,"endTime":3838.02,"body":"Exactly. And are there any words"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3833.28,"endTime":3838.02,"body":"that you can recommend? And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3838.02,"endTime":3842.1,"body":"think this question about is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3838.02,"endTime":3842.1,"body":"there any such thing as the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3842.1,"endTime":3846.84,"body":"beginning is a really beautiful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3842.1,"endTime":3846.84,"body":"thing to journal about?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3846.84,"endTime":3853.23,"body":"Actually, you know, particularly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3846.84,"endTime":3853.23,"body":"if there's something which is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3853.68,"endTime":3859.71,"body":"going on in your life right now,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3853.68,"endTime":3859.71,"body":"which feels like it is a big"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3859.71,"endTime":3863.55,"body":"beginning, or feels like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3859.71,"endTime":3863.55,"body":"something is ending and but you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3863.55,"endTime":3868.5,"body":"can't yet see what the next"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3863.55,"endTime":3868.5,"body":"beginning is because every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3868.5,"endTime":3875.01,"body":"beginning begins with an ending."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3868.5,"endTime":3875.01,"body":"And so to actually journal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3875.04,"endTime":3878.49,"body":"about, is there any such thing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3875.04,"endTime":3878.49,"body":"as the beginning or is there any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3878.49,"endTime":3884.46,"body":"such thing as an ending? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3878.49,"endTime":3884.46,"body":"yeah. If everything is flow,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3885.18,"endTime":3889.23,"body":"yeah, yeah. Oh, I want to hear"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3885.18,"endTime":3889.23,"body":"about that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3890.76,"endTime":3894.99,"body":"And, and just to echo that point"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3890.76,"endTime":3894.99,"body":"that you made about not to get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3894.99,"endTime":3901.83,"body":"too precious, about, about these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3894.99,"endTime":3901.83,"body":"things. Which reminds me of that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3901.95,"endTime":3906.63,"body":"quote about angels fly because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3901.95,"endTime":3906.63,"body":"they take themselves lightly."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3910.17,"endTime":3914.55,"body":"Oh, that's sweet. I love it. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3910.17,"endTime":3914.55,"body":"you're such a gift. Anything you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3914.55,"endTime":3915.27,"body":"so much."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3916.89,"endTime":3919.98,"body":"Thank you so much, everyone."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3916.89,"endTime":3919.98,"body":"Thanks for listening and thank"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3919.98,"endTime":3927.66,"body":"you my darling Susan. Okay, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3919.98,"endTime":3927.66,"body":"don't know quite where I went"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3928.02,"endTime":3933.6,"body":"with the whole ramble right at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3928.02,"endTime":3933.6,"body":"the until Susan brought us back."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3933.6,"endTime":3937.17,"body":"Thank goodness for Susan. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3933.6,"endTime":3937.17,"body":"mean, yeah, just generally,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3937.29,"endTime":3943.08,"body":"thank goodness for Susan. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3937.29,"endTime":3943.08,"body":"oh, gosh, wasn't that a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3943.14,"endTime":3949.77,"body":"wonderful romp through the whole"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3943.14,"endTime":3949.77,"body":"idea of beginnings and my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3949.77,"endTime":3958.59,"body":"reflection sitting here now is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3949.77,"endTime":3958.59,"body":"that it's such a rich and varied"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3958.62,"endTime":3965.73,"body":"subject that we rarely pay that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3958.62,"endTime":3965.73,"body":"much attention to and maybe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3965.82,"endTime":3970.38,"body":"that's, that's really a that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3965.82,"endTime":3970.38,"body":"could be the strapline for this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3970.38,"endTime":3973.83,"body":"podcast actually exploring ideas"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3970.38,"endTime":3973.83,"body":"that we rarely pay a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3973.83,"endTime":3979.65,"body":"attention to. And I just hope"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3973.83,"endTime":3979.65,"body":"that it added some richness for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3979.68,"endTime":3984.81,"body":"you as well. And to Susan's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3979.68,"endTime":3984.81,"body":"point, I really would love to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3984.81,"endTime":3988.8,"body":"hear from you and hear your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3984.81,"endTime":3988.8,"body":"thoughts, your reflections. Hear"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3988.8,"endTime":3993.9,"body":"your challenges. Was there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3988.8,"endTime":3993.9,"body":"anything that you know that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3993.9,"endTime":3997.02,"body":"didn't agree with? Was there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3993.9,"endTime":3997.02,"body":"anything that you saw Gosh, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3997.02,"endTime":4002.3,"body":"really could have talked about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3997.02,"endTime":4002.3,"body":"this. That would be wonderful to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":4002.3,"endTime":4008.69,"body":"hear, and, and to hear about how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":4002.3,"endTime":4008.69,"body":"beginnings feel for you are how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":4008.72,"endTime":4016.58,"body":"endings feel for you. So, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":4008.72,"endTime":4016.58,"body":"darlings we are at an end of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":4016.58,"endTime":4022.7,"body":"this episode. I send you a hug"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":4016.58,"endTime":4022.7,"body":"and a wave"}]}