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Carl Jung once said that shame is a soul-eating emotion. It also seems quite paradoxical that it feels quite shameful to talk about shame. Shame holds us up from the goals and aspirations we have for ourselves. What is shame and how is it different from guilt? Shame is an internal message you have that there is something wrong with you. Guilt is a more general feeling that you’ve done something bad or did something wrong. Shame, however, digs deep at your inner self and your own core and blames yourself for being so ‘messed up’. There can be many reasons why you may personally feel like there’s something wrong with you to the core. If you trace it back far enough, it comes from your developmental years. You might have been told several times to ‘not be a baby’ or to ‘stop being selfish’. What might seem to be innocent messages from your caretaker have become internalized that you’re just a bad person. If you find yourself experiencing deep and unwavering shame, not only is your mental health suffering, but your body is also taking a physical hit. Shame keeps us stuck in fight or flight mode and it bleeds into physical ailment if it goes unchecked. How do you move forward on shame? It begins with inner child work and taking care of yourself. It starts with nurturing yourself in a way that you’ve always needed to be nurtured. There’s a lot of vulnerability that comes out when you’re working through your shame, and that can feel even more painful than the internal shame dialogue itself. With anything, inner child work is a process and your shame won’t be gone overnight, but if you keep this practice up, the pain of your shame will slowly reduce. Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com
Carl Jung once said that shame is a soul-eating emotion. It also seems quite paradoxical that it feels quite shameful to talk about shame. Shame holds us up from the goals and aspirations we have for ourselves.
What is shame and how is it different from guilt? Shame is an internal message you have that there is something wrong with you. Guilt is a more general feeling that you’ve done something bad or did something wrong. Shame, however, digs deep at your inner self and your own core and blames yourself for being so ‘messed up’.
There can be many reasons why you may personally feel like there’s something wrong with you to the core. If you trace it back far enough, it comes from your developmental years. You might have been told several times to ‘not be a baby’ or to ‘stop being selfish’. What might seem to be innocent messages from your caretaker have become internalized that you’re just a bad person.
If you find yourself experiencing deep and unwavering shame, not only is your mental health suffering, but your body is also taking a physical hit. Shame keeps us stuck in fight or flight mode and it bleeds into physical ailment if it goes unchecked.
How do you move forward on shame? It begins with inner child work and taking care of yourself. It starts with nurturing yourself in a way that you’ve always needed to be nurtured. There’s a lot of vulnerability that comes out when you’re working through your shame, and that can feel even more painful than the internal shame dialogue itself. With anything, inner child work is a process and your shame won’t be gone overnight, but if you keep this practice up, the pain of your shame will slowly reduce.
Continue Your Growth Journey:
Kamini Wood works with high achievers on letting go of stress, overwhelm and anxiety that comes with trying to do everything, and trying to do it all perfectly