Morgan Teruel: Hey. Thanks so much for listening to Sandals Church. Our vision as a church is to be real with ourselves, God, and others. We hope you enjoy this message.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Well Sandals Church, it is so wonderful to have you all here. I don't know where you are, but I'm in this home, in this comfy, cozy living room right now. You know, I remember growing up in my parents house, and and there was always one room that we could not go in: The living room. Now maybe your living room is your family room or vice versa, but for me the living room was always off limits to us kids. And you know what?
My parents actually were rarely in the living room themselves. It was the nicest cleanest room in the house that usually had the nicest furniture as well. I don't know why it was even called the living room. Because we hardly did any living in it. It was actually only meant for special occasions and when people came over to visit.
In fact, what I remember most about it was my dad being in there reading the newspaper alone. I even remember this aunt I had who had put plastic over everything. Don't don't touch don't touch anything. Well, there's plastic. Why can't I touch it?
There's plastic on it. I want to start off our time today by making this parallel between this living room that I'm talking about and our lives. You see, I believe so many of us are missing out on really living. Because we are missing a major component of what living is about and that is others, people, a community. Isn't it interesting that our living room rarely saw community in its space?
We rarely had community in its space, and and rarely had people actually living in it. And you know what's sad? Oh, I hate that I'm even saying this right now, but I'm close to doing the very same thing myself today. We have this living room in my wife and I's house. Notice I said my wife and I's house, because my kids, it's just, you know, the fact that they're there, they should be fortunate.
But but we have this living room that we do use for moments of community, and we have people sit and chat in whenever they come over. But it's generally used for special occasions and special people moments. I tell my kids, don't go in there unless you have to. Don't get your dirty selves on the furniture. Did you shower first?
Please tell me you shower first before you sat down. And and I'm always worried about people accidentally spilling something on the carpet or the chairs. Basically, don't mess you up this pretty living room. I think a lot of us do this also. We do this in the living room of our own lives.
Like my dad sitting there alone, there are many of us where our living is done alone. We're a community without others. And maybe you're like me. You don't want to messy up the living room of your life with other people spilling their mess and their dirt on us or around us. And to be honest a lot of times we don't we don't have places ourselves where we can be real and let our real mess and our real dirt be put out there, spilling on others.
But this is what I believe. I believe that that we were meant to live in community and to live around and among others in community, where we can be real with ourselves, others, and God. And by doing that we can live a better and wiser life. The problem is life today is about the individual and not the communal. These days for a lot of us, life is about you being behind a screen.
Watching someone else's life, not really interacting with them. And and it's about you putting out there, not the messy dirty real parts of your life, but the polished, perfected, photoshopped, cropped and filtered images of your life. Is that real? No. But hey, it gets views right, and it hides the real you.
Now listen, I'm the online digital pastor here at St. Louis Church, so so please don't hear me say that this digital experience we all have available to us is bad. No. I'm not saying that. However, my hope is that at the end of the day, none of us forget that we all are meant to live and share life with each other.
To be in community. To be in close real proximity to one another. You see, today we are living in a polarized world. Yes, yes, we may have more knowledge, but that doesn't mean we are becoming better people because of it, or any wiser because of it. That's the truth.
The wisdom that we need is the wisdom of knowing how to relate with one another and gaining wisdom from one another. Knowledge will get you knowing about others and knowing about someone, but actually miss people. You see, you can know about someone but not know someone. So here is a question for you. How can we experience an unbreakable community in a divided world?
And that is what we are gonna tackle today. Let's pray. Father, thank you so much for this time that you have given us. Lord, you want to do something in this space, in that space. You want to do something here.
So Lord, my prayer is that you would speak through me, dear God. And help us to hear what you want us to hear. But not just that Lord, but to live it out. Thank you for this word called community. I pray we discover whatever it is you have for us in this time.
In Jesus name, Amen. I think we all can agree on the fact that inside all of us is the desire and need to be in community. Now I know there are introverts out there, but the truth is that we all desire to be known by others. I mean, I want to be known by 500 others and I want to know them. You may want to know only 0.5 others or nobody.
But but we all have this desire to know people and to be known. You know that's true. I mean if you do a Google search and look up the psychological benefits of community, you will discover it's a human need we all have. It actually gives us a sense of belonging. It cultivates unity.
It it helps with your purpose and identity. It actually, did you know this, it actually betters our mental health and our health overall. Come on now. That is awesome. However, what we are discovering about people is there is a difference between community and tribalism.
You see, we all have a desire for community, but most of us are living it out in tribalistic ways. Don't that just sound bad? When I say tribal, I mean that that you are looking for your people. People who look like you, talk like you, like the things that you like, and there is little to no challenge or sharpening towards the things of God. Now don't don't get it twisted.
I'm I'm not saying you should you should you should not get in community or or you should get in a community and hit yourself to others who are morally against the things that matter to you or go against your beliefs. I'm not saying that. But what I am saying is that God calls us to communities where we can be influenced for good, and communities in which we can be an influence of good. Yes. We do still need to be out there in the world making a difference for Christ.
That does not go away. That will never go away. But true community helps you get to where you need to go. There are intrinsically, they are intrinsically about generosity, acceptance, celebration, honor, and valuing how different we are. Understanding that we are better together.
How many of you need this type of community? Come on, just put in the chat. Come on, just tell somebody. Come on, tell somebody right now. How many you need this type of community?
That's right, tell the truth, we all do. But here is the unfortunate truth. Although we need community, it is not easy to find. But why? Well maybe it could be the pace of life.
Maybe there are other priorities we have put in its place, or we have allowed something else to take the place of what should be at the top. Another could be because we don't take time to slow down. Doesn't that just sound right, to slow down? And consider that maybe we might need to adjust our habits, rhythms, and calendars for others. We don't value community as important.
Do you value community as important? It's also tough to find because we are doing just fine with our tribe. Right? We doing fine without what our folk, AKA, believe to be a community. True community is a community that is united in mutual love.
Where tribalism, which a lot of us are part of, is united and mutual dislike. Cliquish segregation and disunity. The author David Brooks writes community is about who and what we are for, And tribalism is about who and what we are against. Tribalism is about the zero sum battle for scarce resources, where it's kill or be killed. That just sound like today, friends.
I mean if if more of your people are online and or represented by a specific news station, a social agenda, or a political party, then real news flash, that's a tribe. You're about tribalism and not community. And check this out. If you are a part of a religious organization that is more about doing for yourselves than doing for others, and it's closed off, it's a click, then I would question that religious institutions reasons for being. Yes, yes, listen to me.
Yes, our God, Jesus himself, commands us followers of Jesus Christ to love one another. But he also said, listen to this, come on now. He also said for us to love others. To love our neighbors. To love our enemies.
And you knew what was coming, you knew it was coming. To love our enemies and to go and make disciples of all nations, of all people. Tribalism, listen to me, tribe, the tribalism of our time is tearing the world apart. It's tearing our nation apart. So how do we move forward?
I'm so glad you asked. First, let's not be wise in our own eyes as Proverbs 3:7 lets us know. But let's gain the spirit of wisdom which comes when we ask him to come. And and walking with community is the primary pathway to wisdom. Proverbs 13:20, lets us know that whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Wisdom comes when we are around others who are helping to take us where we need to go. Now you may be around others but are they fools? Are they fools? Because the rest of that proverb says that a companion of fools will suffer harm. Have you been suffering?
And listen, I I have been there friends. I remember being in high school, I was around these hot mess dudes in high school, and I found myself always in trouble because they were fools. Not all of them, you might be listening right now, friends, I used to hang out in high school. But in my twenties, I was around some good young adults that were going to the direction of Jesus Christ. And I found myself out of foolish things and I did not suffer harm.
And again, it's not that you can't be around those who need Jesus, but they should not be your main source of community. Just to reiterate, a true community is one where you gain wisdom. Does your community, if you have 1, help you with good judgment? Does it increase your wisdom? Help you to have a healthy fear of the Lord?
Help you help you with discretion? Do they offer good counsel to you? Does this community pull you towards the things of God or away from the things of God? Question. Would you say right now there is a rhythm of your life where you're regularly spending time with wise people?
If not, what are the barriers keeping you from this? And and listen family, it's it's not enough to just be around these people, but are you listening to them? It's like my kids, they are around me all the time, but but are you listening? Do you hear the words that are coming out of my mouth? Sorry, I digress.
Because wisdom comes through community by listening with curiosity. Proverbs 15:3,133 shares with us that the ear that listens to life giving reproof will dwell among the wise. Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence. Do you want to be smart? The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom and humility and comes before honor.
The writer James tells us in his letter in the first chapter and the 9th verse, that it is better to listen than to speak. Hey, you got 2 ears and one mouth for a reason. When you are listening and curious, you don't assume very much. You are more open and and you don't need to know or have the whole picture all figured out. You find yourself more about, more open and open handed to the wisdom that is being presented to you.
This is a good posture to have my friends. And for me I have been a part of many community groups, small groups and mentor relationships where being curious, open and listening to their story and journey, I have gained wisdom for my own life. I get to do this many times a month with my own community group. Where with this group and others in the past has helped me to do a course correction at times, which has helped me in all areas of my life. Proverbs 1522 lets us know that without counsel plans fail, but with many advisors they succeed.
Who are your advisors? Who are the people that counsel you on the plans of life and help direct you to the plans of God? Who is, who is in your sphere of influence? Who's in the sphere of your friends, co workers, families, your community? Who you are able to listen to, where you can, where they can speak wisdom into your life?
Who are they? Are you connected with people where you can you can share and be vulnerable with? Oh man, we need to be vulnerable friends. In Proverbs 27:9 it's recorded: Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel. Family, our greatest intimacy comes from our deepest vulnerability.
And to that degree and to that degree that that we are all that that we are all not lonely in primary is primarily dependent on our level of vulnerability. We need to be vulnerable with others. It actually sharpens us. Proverbs 2717 also shares with us that iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another. This is this is one of the, this is one of the ways that God helps us grow and get better.
From one another. And the closer we are with someone being vulnerable, both of you or or all of you going in the same Jesus direction and listening and sharing and being curious bathed in godly biblical wisdom will strengthen you. Your faith and your relationship with one another and God will get better. No. No.
Iron on iron is not smooth, not smooth. Yes, it requires friction and it adds tension. But the best way to get that iron you sharp is through the wisdom of others, is through godly counsel. As I have been through some great communities and small groups, the toughest moments have been when adversity showed up and I decided to stay. And listen to me, I'm an integrand 7.
I want to run when pain happens. Because let's be honest, it's tough. Right? Because because staying through adversity is hard, but we must stay through adversity. Again, we read in the book of wisdom, Proverbs 26, that many will claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find.
What this passage is getting at is the fact that it is so easy for someone to say they will be there through thick and thin. But when the thick shows up, most run. This verse actually reminds me of the Lord of the Rings and the Fellowship of the Rings. In the church world, this word fellowship is thrown around a lot, usually for hall spaces or moments of light snacks and chit chata before the service begins. We have to go into the auditorium.
But but I like another version of fellowship which is exhibited in the Lord of the Rings. True fellowship is a group of individuals who are on a quest together. All towards a common goal, going through adversity after adversity on their journey. If you saw the movie, the task was not just to get the ring to the fires of Mordor, but for these men to stick together, to stay the course, no matter how bad it got. True community and the fellowship that comes from true community is the one that no matter what, we don't deserve.
We don't give up. We don't go, we don't escape quietly through the back door. But we get to, we get to stay together, we get tighter, we, we stay committed and we support one another when adversity arises. We continue the course when all hell breaks loose. I remember this, I remember this with, with one of my community groups some years back.
I was a part of a, a community group that was so strong and so connected. And there was a time when we had some heated discussions politically. There was a there was also a time when there was a couple who was going through a really really tough time in their marriage. I mean, my wife and I had difficult times ourselves. Even when my wife and I felt like it would be best to transition to a new church because we felt God calling us out of that church, we stayed together with that group, that community group.
We did fun stuff like camp. Now you know it gotta be a strong community group if I'm camping. But we vacationed and and showed up at each other's pool parties and birthday parties, as well as had great discussions during our group time. But what made this group tighter and stronger and grew our collective and individual faith was when adversity hit us hard. And when all hell broke loose in our lives, our marriages, our jobs, our kids, and all the in the world around us.
You see, a friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17 17. You see friends, this is the message of the New Testament. This is how the church was established. If you don't know, now you know.
You know. This is how the church was established and how Christ built his church on the rock of Christ. And through the pains, the strains, the beat downs, the kills, the persecutions, when sharing the gospel was not easy. This is what the first Christian community went through. And they went through it together.
And guess what? The church grew. They moved towards each other, not away from each other. Are you moving towards others? Ask yourself these questions: Am I growing in wisdom and in love?
Based on your answer these questions it will reveal if you are experiencing an unbreakable community in a divided world. I want you to know that all across all of our St. Louis Church campuses we are talking about this experience of community. And our hope is that all of you in some way shape or form start to practice community in your own way, in your own space with real people. So to give you an idea of what this could be and what this might look like, I want to invite some friends of mine to this living room, where we where we are going to have a conversation and give you a taste of what sharing in community looks like.
Well online campus family and our St. Louis Church Anywhere family, I want to introduce you to some friends of mine. This is my sister Jolene. Jolene volunteers at our Hunter Park campus, and is a single mom, and an empty nester about to be
Pastor Jeff Whye: Just about Okay.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Almost there. Almost there. She's she's gonna get there. This is Nick who is on staff at St. Louis Church, who actually, is our group lead.
He's our group lead. And so that means he cares for all of our groups, but specifically cares for our online groups, and our St. Louis Church Anywhere locations. How many St. Louis Church Anywhere locations we have?
Nick Holst: We have almost 40 right now.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Come on,
Nick Holst: somebody. Come on, priest. God.
Pastor Jeff Whye: This to my left, this is Ray. Ray, who attends our Woodcrest campus and is married to a military man. Yeah. I'm all now. Right?
We are strong. Oh, we're so we're so glad to have you. This is Mary Jane, aka MJ. No. Her husband is not Peter Parker.
It's
Person 1: wait on there.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Her husband is Chris, and they have 5 kids. And this weekend, she is renewing her vows.
Person 2: Oh, that's awesome.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Super fun. Congratulations. And someone gets to officiate, which is pretty neat. Yeah. It's neat.
And then last but not least, this is Will, who is on staff at our Azusa campus, which is booming. It's booming. And, he is recently married to your bride. Yes. Come on now.
Bless the Lord. Right? Bless praise the Lord. Come on. Hey, family.
Thank you so much for being here. I wanna ask you all a question, and we'll see kind of where it goes, and then we're gonna end our time. But before we do that, I just kinda wanna throw a softball question up to you, just kinda see what happens here. You know, just a softball. I wanna know on a scale of 1 to 5, how has this week been going?
1, meaning you're done. 5, meaning you're thriving. So let's just kinda start. Like, just kinda hold up your fingers. Hold up your fingers.
Alright. Come on now. Thriving. Thriving. Alright.
Are you that fine? Praise the Lord. Yeah. You're getting there.
Person 1: You're getting there. Get 2 or 3.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Right now with the Lord with the Lord. You will get there. You will get there. And, hey, if you're on the chat right now, let us know where you at. Hold up the fingers.
Put a 123. We want to know. This is crowd participation. Okay. So I wanna know about this week, guys, and and how has it been going.
But I I wanna get specifically at 2 questions. And that is, what are you grateful for this week? And then also, do you have a prayer request? And so I'm just gonna kinda, you know, I'll may call Jolene or MJ. I just wanna just tell me, what are you grateful for, and then what do you need prayer for?
Okay? Awesome. Alright. My brother, go ahead, Will. You're up.
You're up.
Nick Holst: Yeah. It's been a it's been a discouraging week for me personally, but I think what I'm grateful for is that even though it's it's been a really hard discouraging week for me, God has put, like, just little bits of encouragement through his word, through my wife, through, my community group. Man, it's just been so encouraging to know that even when we are really having a hard time that God is still able to just help us give us a little something to get through. Right? Something I'm praying for is my wife is looking for a job, and so I'm praying that she's able to find somewhere that is healthy for her, that she enjoys.
And so, yeah, if any of you guys are hiring, let me know. That's good. Yeah. Absolutely.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Right? So Fantastic. Awesome. Why don't we go Oh, he's hiring us?
Person 1: We got a lord. Prayer day. It's a right hand. Let's get
Pastor Jeff Whye: it. Well, lord, come on somebody. Do not say there's not a god. Yeah.
Person 1: No. Right.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Thank you. There was a god somewhere. Okay. Okay. Praise god.
Well, let's kinda go with you right now, MJ. Right?
Person 3: I am very thankful for my children.
Nick Holst: Amen.
Person 3: I am renewing my vowels on Saturday.
Person 1: That's good. That's good.
Person 4: That's awesome.
Person 3: But, it is a stressful week.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Sure.
Person 3: You know? And so I'm just asking for prayer for my marriage. Mhmm. It hasn't always been an uphill, but my children have always that's why I'm so thankful for them because they keep me on, you know, my lowest of lows are there. They motivate me.
If I when I'm stressed, I know they say kids are stressful, but they're also stress relievers. Come on.
Person 1: That's so
Person 3: smart. Very, very
Person 1: So what? Oh, wait
Person 3: a minute. Yes. So, I'm just asking for prayer for my marriage to
Pastor Jeff Whye: Okay.
Person 3: Continue That's good. Walking us through Yeah.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Our path. Yeah. Yes,
Person 2: man. Thanks for sharing.
Person 3: Thanks, man. Awesome.
Person 4: So exciting. So cool.
Nick Holst: Are we all invited to the we're at Mary's room?
Person 1: I'm scared. My best guess. I'm like inviting my stuff.
Pastor Jeff Whye: She like she like, that's another plate.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Nick can
Person 3: meet your what? Here we go.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Nick, let's go with you, my man.
Person 2: Yeah. You know, I'd I'm gonna echo. I I I think what you shared, Will, about how God meets, for myself, I look back at at all the years of my life. God has always put someone in my life that points me to him. Yeah.
And you know, like, if I'm being honest, there's a lot of times I don't listen to that person that God has put in my life, and there's times where honestly I was I was running from. Mhmm. But when I look back now I'm just so thankful that God has always had someone in my life. And I think one of the most significant is my wife. I I think about when she met me I was not following Jesus.
It it just wasn't on my radar. And yet she was patient. In fact, I learned about God's grace through her.
Person 1: Awesome. Awesome.
Person 2: And so my prayer is is that I can continue to become the husband that I'm meant to be, the father I'm meant to be. Okay. And even though I think it's almost night and day and it's kind of neat to look back and see the difference, I think it's just to continue trying to improve, and and just love and care for them and be the one that points them
Person 1: Amen. To God. Yeah. Amen.
Nick Holst: That's awesome.
Person 2: Thanks for sharing, man.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Thanks, Nick. Thank you. Thanks for sharing. Ray. Yes?
Ray Ray. People call you Ray Ray?
Person 1: They do. Yeah.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Only family. Right? Only family. Come on. Come on.
Likes that. Who's gonna say?
Person 4: This week, I feel like I'm just extremely grateful that everyone I love is safe and happy and healthy. Where is Scott? Yeah. My husband is returning from a deployment in a couple of months. Okay.
So just prayers as we transition back into day to day life Yeah. For us.
Nick Holst: That's awesome. Awesome.
Person 4: I appreciate it.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Super great. Absolutely. That's great.
Nick Holst: What branch does he serve in?
Person 4: He is, National Guard Army.
Nick Holst: Okay. Awesome. Sweet. National Guard and Army. Yep.
Pastor Jeff Whye: I didn't even know they did that. Praise God. Awesome. Wow. That's cool.
My sister Jolene.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Well, I am grateful for vacations because I'm on a vacation. Oh, yay.
Person 1: It's time to meet. God. Last last time. Are you hanging out with us? Where are we going?
Pastor Jeff Whye: Oh, yeah.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Well, actually, it's a mecation if you want
Person 1: That's I
Pastor Jeff Whye: took the time off for me because I just needed to have some time with God for introspection just to get a hold of some projects for me, and that's something I would like prayer for because Amen. I I prayed that prayer. I don't know if any of you ever prayed that prayer. Don't know if any of you ever prayed that prayer. Lord, I want a deeper walk.
And and then he does it because then things start happening and you have to really start exercising your faith and you really have to start stepping out. And I says, okay. I need to pause and I need to listen. I need to come in and invite you into the situation. I want it out at first, but I realize now I need to invite him into the situation.
And so that's what I'm praying for is to be able to have that deeper walk with him and invite him into these situations instead of running from it.
Person 1: Yeah. Right.
Person 4: That's great.
Person 2: That's like that's convicting in a way for me. Yeah. I'm just do I really invite him in? Yeah. That's that's pretty good.
Thanks for sharing. That's cool.
Pastor Jeff Whye: Yeah. Thank you all for sharing. I really do appreciate it. This has been absolutely awesome. Hey.
I want you all to know that you are not off the hook. If you are part of our Sainal Church Anywhere locations, I want you to ask each other these same questions and talk through it. Share with each other. If if you're watching with a friend or a family or a spouse, go ahead and do the same thing. If there's no one around you, then, hey, I am here, and I would love to know.
You can email me or text me. It's coming up right now. And let me know what you're grateful for and what you need prayer for. I wanna be in community with you. I want you to know that Jesus invites us into community in order to have his wisdom.
Jesus did this with his disciples, invited them into community wisdom, and he's still doing this today with us, with others. Matthew 4 18 19 lets us know that Jesus said, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men. Here is my hope for you, and there are a lot of you here today watching and hanging out with us, that you would search for community. And come on friends, was was this pulling teeth? Was this so hard?
You just experienced what community group was like. Come on, right? My community guy right here. The only difference was there was no food. Maybe next time we a brother can get a snack.
Person 1: Yes, please.
Pastor Jeff Whye: But but you could have this experience yourself. You could start a group, join a group, or become a St. Ol's church anywhere location by going to St. Ol's church dotcom/groups, and finding others who are desiring to be more like Christ, or looking for what you're looking for. I pray you find a Christ like community.
And hey, who knows, maybe there may be some of you who are influencers with people that you already know, people that may be right around you. You can be a person of influence. Do you have neighbors? Invite them over to hang out. Maybe in the driveway, ask them these questions.
Who's not gonna talk about this stuff? Ask them these questions and and be their community without asking them to join a community group. And who knows, maybe 6 months down the road, you and they will discover that you've basically been part of a community group for half a year. This could be with your extended family, your coworkers, classmates, or teammates. You know how I know this will work?
Because everybody desires to be known and to know others. And we are all longing for community. I want you to know that we are able to do all of this because of those of you who support Sainal Shirts financially. If that's not you yet, would you consider giving and donating so that we can keep establishing communities all over the world literally? All you have to do is go to give.scorgive on our St.
Louis Church app. Let's pray, friends. Let's pray as we enter time. Lord God, thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for showing up in this room.
Thank you so much for showing up in that room wherever they are at. Lord, this idea of community was your idea, Lord. Jesus, even you were part of a community group. God, even you do things in community, father, son, and the Holy Spirit. Lord, you heard these prayer requests, dear God, and we lift them up to you.
And, father, there are prayer requests, dear God, that they have right now, they're watching. Father, would you meet those needs? We thank you so much for this time. May you be glorified in all that we say and do. In Jesus' mighty name we pray.
Amen. Amen.