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this is parenting for the everyday a

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podcast dedicated to meeting parents in

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the trenches of Parenthood we explore

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how our faith fits into our parenting

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with the help of our guests we are

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seeking practical tips on how the gospel

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can speak into our day-to-day parenting

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from the easy stuff to the hard stuff we

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want to talk about it all this is

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parenting for the every day I'm Becca

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Alvarez and I'm holiday krew and today

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we have in our studio Christina helera

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uh to talk about just such an important

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topic as we enter a season that is busy

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and getting busier it's so easy to get

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wrapped up in stressed and anxiety and

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um just something that we really wanted

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to check in was a mental health episode

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to talk through how can we recognize it

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in our kids how can we recognize it in

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ourselves and how can we really create a

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sense of resilience in the family unit

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um so let's go ahead and kick it off

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dive in yeah and dive in you probably

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recognize Christina we've had her on

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before we're so thankful that you keep

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coming back and we haven't scared you

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away um but Christina will you just real

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quick um for those of us who don't know

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you will you just do a little intro of

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who you are what you do and why this

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kind of matters to you a little bit

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mental health in general yeah yeah for

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sure um I'm Christina howarda I um am a

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uh lisw which is a licens independent

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social worker um I am a clinical

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counselor So currently in practice I um

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counsel children here at CCC uh children

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adolescence and young adults um I am

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also a wife and a mother my husband Mike

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howarda is a pastor here uh three kids

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brayden's eight K is three and baa is

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one can't believe it um yeah great we're

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we're just we're so excited to have you

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on here and I was saying before we

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started uh rolling I think we sit we

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talk about leav really big mental health

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issues like let's talk about anxiety

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let's talk about depression and those

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are all conversations we want to have

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but there's also a conversation to have

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of just like what is just normal healthy

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mental health what does that look like

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how do we keep a pulse on that in our

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kids how do we encourage that are there

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things we're doing that could hinder

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that um so maybe let's just start with

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like the basic what role does mental

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health even play in a child overw well

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over overall well-being yeah yeah yeah

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so I think like a basic definition of

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mental is a state of mental well-being

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um that the World Health Organization

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says enables us to cope with the

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stressors of Life realize our abilities

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learn well and work well and contribute

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to our society so it has a large scope

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but also I think mental health is not

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only about feeling good or about feeling

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happy or relaxed or at ease all the time

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um mental health is about having

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feelings that make sense in their

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context and then handling those feelings

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well so for good right there that's good

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that's good already so for example if

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your kid's best friend moves away and

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they feel deeply upset about that that's

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actually evidence of their mental health

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it's appropriate yeah and I think that's

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an important definition and distinction

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because oftentimes we equate distress

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with the mental health concern and I

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just don't think that's an accurate

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equation like we don't want an

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underreaction and we don't want an

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overreaction what we want is feelings to

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make sense in their context and honestly

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this is biblical too right like we see a

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wide range of emotions from Jesus we see

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um weeping in grief when his son Lazarus

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dies we see anger when the temple is

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used inappropriately um we see Jesus on

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the cross crying out in distress my God

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my God why have you forsaken me um and

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we know that Jesus's emotional

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expression is always done imperfection

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like think about that like he never had

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an inappropriate emotional response to

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something yeah this is why Christina is

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often on this podcast because she's

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amazing so I think like we see how Jesus

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does that and how we are to mimic that

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so the first part is having emotions

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that match the context and then the next

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piece of that is handling those emotions

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well so um and I think two for how long

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so do your kids do they cry do they go

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for a run um thinking back to the

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example are they going to talk about how

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they're going to miss their friend do

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they go to Jesus with their sadness or

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are they withdrawing and isolating for

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extended periods of time um are they

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irritable and mean day after day are

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they turning it inward on themselves um

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it's that divide that actually alerts us

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to whether there's a mental health

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concern or an appropriate response to a

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really hard life situation so we want

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emotions that match the context handling

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those emotions well and then a gospel

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Godly framework in which to process hard

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life things yeah I'm I'm just so glad

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we're talking about this that I think of

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like you know I take my kids to the

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pediatrician for their well checks like

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for their body well checks um but am I

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spending enough time talking about these

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things or even looking and watching and

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saying like okay wait where are are our

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emotions in check are you responding

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appropriately are we talking about it

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and so I'm I'm just excited for yeah and

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I love the way that you just described

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that because the symptomology that you

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just described you can see in all

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different ages of kids it doesn't often

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when I think of mental health I think of

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something that I don't really have to

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deal with for a long time because my

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kids are three in one uh but the truth

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is that they are expressing their

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emotions all the time if not in excess

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in their in their young age right now so

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building

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healthy ability to express emotion

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now you can kind of build on as they get

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older um which I haven't always thought

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of that in the same category as mental

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health but it really is yeah um so okay

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I'm trying to think you said a lot so

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I'm trying to think where we should

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should we diving next um so I guess

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should we start with maybe even like

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what are some mental health myths I mean

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you already said one right off the bat

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that this is like you are sad or you

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know that that is a myth in of s that

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you're not happy all the time are there

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some other myths that we could just

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debunk yeah yeah I thought of a few um

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and any that you guys also think of I'd

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love to hear as well but um I think one

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is kind of going along with that that it

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all looks the same right which I is just

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not true um sometimes it is like the

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overreaction or the anger the visible

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anxiety but sometimes it's not um and so

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to be mindful of that um I think another

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one is that hard emotions just need a

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boost of positivity um um or that um you

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shouldn't talk about the hard stuff

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because you just draw attention to it

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and that's just not true um I think

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another one is that emotionally

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struggling is um an indictment on the

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strength of your faith or that you

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should just like trust God more yeah um

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and I think that just you know

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oversimplifies it obviously and also is

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not what we're seeing in scripture over

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and over again so um those are three

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kind of bigger ones or more common ones

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that I kind of thought of I don't think

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that this is necessarily A but I think

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that's something that parents can

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struggle with often is if if my toddler

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is having a hard time I almost

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overcompensate with my own emotions to

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try to shut down his you know instead of

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kind of just giving him space to feel

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what he's feeling there's uh I have an

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instinct to go it's okay you're okay

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you're okay it's fine it's fine we're

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going to kind of put that off and make

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you feel better so that I can feel

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better because your discomfort is making

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me uncomfortable you know and um and if

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you put that in the context of even that

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mental health definition that we just

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talked about you want kids to feel

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appropriate emotions so if you can enter

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into even your toddler's world and see

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like oh it's appropriate for you to feel

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mad that you have to share this toy you

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love with your brother like I get that

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doesn't mean that you're now responding

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to it appropriately there's something

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else we can address but hey it's okay

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that you feel mad about that yeah and

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that probably I mean it starts as a

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toddler but that's got to go all the way

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I mean into adulthood we should still be

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like kind of recognizing that so what

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what are some ways as parents that we

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could help Foster some of that open um

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communication or even identifying those

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those emotions like what what are things

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that we could be doing um I don't know

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to do it to do it well yeah yeah to like

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build communication with your kids

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around emotion yes um honestly there's a

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lot you can do um I think first it

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starts with us as parents right like you

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guys are always saying more is caught

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than talk we got to stop saying that

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because everybody keep bring it back we

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can make it a tagline hell yeah yeah um

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um but I think if you as a parent aren't

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comfortable talking about your own

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emotions personally it's going to be

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really hard for you to do that well in

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parenting so if that's the case for you

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I think like dig into that a little bit

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like figure out where that comes from or

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why that is and maybe even seek your own

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help or counsel in that um and then I

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would give you three strategies uh first

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this might seem obvious but in order to

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talk about emotions you have to have a

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robust emotion vocabulary um and it's

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never too early to start that you know

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you can start really young um um with

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young kids I think it looks like you

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know getting books that talk about

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emotions or that have a lot of emotional

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expression and so you can pause and look

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at the pictures with your kids and point

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them out and ask your kids like what do

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you think they might be feeling here um

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different shows like Daniel Tiger be

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love we always make sure it's like part

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of our show rotation um but this can

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also age with your kids right like

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obviously the content will change but

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these are still strategies that you can

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continue to use as your kids get older

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um I also like to observe kids emotions

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like to kids like I'll say like oh boy

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it looks like you're sad why are you

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feeling sad or like back to that other

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example like I it is hard to share your

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toys and that makes you mad I get that

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and then you can go on to like redirect

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or handle the situation however you're

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going to um with kids in my office I'll

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say things like what I think I'm hearing

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you say is that this this situation felt

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really isolating um or whatever word

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fits and sometimes I might be wrong but

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just offering that observation invites

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them to kind of correct me or or help

273
00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:03,200
them reflect on what they might be

274
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feeling in that moment um and then you

275
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,640
can pull in resources you know like

276
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feelings charts or feelings wheel which

277
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:11,320
we're all a big fan of um but I think it

278
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:14,000
also helps with kids who tend to be

279
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:16,600
internalizers um because it helps them

280
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learn how to actually uh Express those

281
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:21,320
emotions and you can also do it like

282
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:22,880
first in their situation so if you're

283
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:25,480
you have a kid who's an internalizers

284
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:27,600
you can um anticipate or notice what you

285
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:29,000
think they might be feeling and say like

286
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,880
hey it makes me really sad that your

287
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,040
friend treated you that way I can

288
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,640
understand if it would make you feel sad

289
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:35,160
too right so it's like you're modeling

290
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:38,160
it and you're almost taking that first

291
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:40,279
step in vulnerability for them so um

292
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,959
that can be really helpful the second I

293
00:10:40,279 --> 00:10:43,600
would say it's important to think about

294
00:10:41,959 --> 00:10:45,839
the environment or reaction you give

295
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:48,839
when your kids do share their feelings

296
00:10:45,839 --> 00:10:51,880
um vulnerability is hard and so

297
00:10:48,839 --> 00:10:54,200
validation is really really important um

298
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:56,800
and in almost any context I would say to

299
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:58,360
start with with validation and then move

300
00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:01,279
on to whatever is next because your kids

301
00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:04,000
need to feel seen and safe in sharing

302
00:11:01,279 --> 00:11:05,639
their emotions um I think sometimes

303
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,360
parents can move past that way too

304
00:11:05,639 --> 00:11:10,200
quickly and jump right to problem

305
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:14,040
solving um or they're resistant to

306
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:16,040
validate because either they um feel

307
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:17,399
like the emotion's too big or honestly

308
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:19,519
maybe it is maybe the emotion is a

309
00:11:17,399 --> 00:11:21,680
little dramatic um or they don't

310
00:11:19,519 --> 00:11:23,880
understand the emotion um so you're like

311
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:26,839
how can I validate it if I don't get it

312
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:28,440
um even well let me like cuz even in my

313
00:11:26,839 --> 00:11:32,000
case it would be sometimes um someone

314
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:33,880
will share an emotion and I um I could

315
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,760
see like where my kid might have caught

316
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:38,040
like done something to add to it and so

317
00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:40,320
I'm like if I validate that am I saying

318
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:42,200
then like you handled the situation

319
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:44,839
correctly yeah right does that make

320
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:46,480
sense so it's like yeah but I don't know

321
00:11:44,839 --> 00:11:48,200
so I think for me it's what you're

322
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,800
saying is like are you validating it

323
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:51,040
does that doesn't necessarily mean that

324
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:53,040
you're saying hey everything that

325
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:55,639
happened is great and I'm just saying

326
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:57,639
like what you feel right now I'm

327
00:11:55,639 --> 00:11:59,680
acknowledging it correct totally

328
00:11:57,639 --> 00:12:02,399
absolutely um and I think in situations

329
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:04,720
like that like you can use language like

330
00:12:02,399 --> 00:12:06,839
I see that you're feeling really right

331
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:09,000
so it's like you're just like noticing

332
00:12:06,839 --> 00:12:11,160
the emotion so it's like you're building

333
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:13,360
this connection with your kids like I

334
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:15,279
like invalidation to boo boo kisses when

335
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:17,000
kids are little cuz like if my son

336
00:12:15,279 --> 00:12:19,120
scrapes his knee and runs to me like my

337
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,880
kiss doesn't heal his scrape right but

338
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:23,600
it's just about feeling seen and cared

339
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:26,399
for it builds connections with your kids

340
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:28,760
um and I think when done well validation

341
00:12:26,399 --> 00:12:31,120
can actually diffuse an emotion um

342
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:32,959
because if I feel like my frustration is

343
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:34,480
seen I don't have to overstate my

344
00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:36,920
frustration in order for it to be

345
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:39,560
responded to so it doesn't mean that

346
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:41,360
you're validating how they're handling

347
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:42,880
everything but you're just seeing where

348
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,760
your your kid is and you can even

349
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:45,959
experience this as an adult right like

350
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:48,240
when you're talking with a friend or

351
00:12:45,959 --> 00:12:49,920
your partner or whatever you know what

352
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:51,800
it's like when you feel like you're not

353
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:55,360
actually seen for how it's hitting you

354
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:57,399
even if it's not healthy or Justified

355
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:59,600
and how it's hitting you yeah no that's

356
00:12:57,399 --> 00:13:00,920
that's helpful man oh sorry go ahead I

357
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:02,680
was just going to say this is so good

358
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:04,639
for so many different reasons but one of

359
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:06,720
them being a lot of times that I see big

360
00:13:04,639 --> 00:13:08,760
emotions it's when we're in a hurry it's

361
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:11,440
when we're in a public place it's when

362
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:13,480
we're already over tired and over

363
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:16,199
stimulated and so while you're talking

364
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:18,519
it's just convicting me so much of just

365
00:13:16,199 --> 00:13:21,160
P just take a pause take a

366
00:13:18,519 --> 00:13:23,720
minute decompress with them validate

367
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:28,160
their emotion um don't always be in such

368
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:30,120
a rush because when I'm rushing I make

369
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:32,199
them small you know like let's tuck it

370
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:34,880
away put it in your pocket and let's

371
00:13:32,199 --> 00:13:37,440
let's go um where that's not that's not

372
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:39,760
helpful for them it's it's important to

373
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:41,440
slow down as parents be secure in our

374
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:44,560
own parenting don't take things as a

375
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:46,120
reflection of you and just focus focus

376
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:49,680
on them well sometimes it can actually

377
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:51,279
be more productive yeah oh yeah it yeah

378
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:53,800
it would help the emotion so much better

379
00:13:51,279 --> 00:13:55,560
than than trying to extinguish it yeah

380
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:57,959
and I want to I I want to jump to

381
00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:59,279
problem solve so I want to jump to like

382
00:13:57,959 --> 00:14:01,519
okay we've had a problem how how can we

383
00:13:59,279 --> 00:14:03,360
solve it how can we you know and there's

384
00:14:01,519 --> 00:14:04,839
damage in that and not sitting in like

385
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:06,880
okay let me just make sure you know in

386
00:14:04,839 --> 00:14:08,600
this house you are seen you know and I

387
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:10,720
see you and whatever emotion that you've

388
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:12,920
brought in right yeah so then I would

389
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:16,120
just give two practical tips one would

390
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:18,079
be um to pay attention to when your kids

391
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:19,839
naturally share um and try to

392
00:14:18,079 --> 00:14:22,600
intentionally build that into to your

393
00:14:19,839 --> 00:14:23,920
life so for example I had a mom who said

394
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,399
that she noticed her daughter would

395
00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,560
share a lot when they were driving

396
00:14:25,399 --> 00:14:28,320
together and then once she got her

397
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,560
license she noticed that she wasn't

398
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,279
hearing from her daughter as much

399
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:33,399
anymore so she had to be intentional

400
00:14:31,279 --> 00:14:35,000
about you know if I tell her we can grab

401
00:14:33,399 --> 00:14:36,560
Starbucks on the way to run an erand

402
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,000
together she'd come with me and then

403
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,399
we're talking more so just kind of being

404
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,440
mindful of those things and being

405
00:14:39,399 --> 00:14:43,480
intentional about building that in um

406
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:45,399
the other thing I would say is to have

407
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:48,519
it be a part of your family worship time

408
00:14:45,399 --> 00:14:50,959
like notice like when Jesus has emotions

409
00:14:48,519 --> 00:14:52,959
or God has them and in response to what

410
00:14:50,959 --> 00:14:55,040
um or all the ways the Bible shows us

411
00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:57,360
that like the Lord invites us to him in

412
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:59,160
our emotions um or even the Psalms like

413
00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:01,240
just the fact that like the lord gave us

414
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:03,560
an entire book of the Bible all about

415
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,920
like deep emotional expression um but

416
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,759
showing us how to do it in a way that

417
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:09,279
like honors and glorifies the Lord so

418
00:15:06,759 --> 00:15:12,160
you're using the Bible to normalize

419
00:15:09,279 --> 00:15:14,160
emotions and talking about them yeah I

420
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:16,360
have a question that is going to be off

421
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:19,240
off topic a little bit not off topic but

422
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:21,160
off of our our pre- questions um how do

423
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:23,160
you bring your spouse into it because I

424
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:26,519
think that as women I'm more comfortable

425
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:28,680
talking about emotions than my male

426
00:15:26,519 --> 00:15:30,360
spouse and I would assume that there are

427
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:32,079
a lot of dads out dads out there that

428
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:34,040
maybe don't feel as comfortable talking

429
00:15:32,079 --> 00:15:37,360
about emotion How would how would you

430
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:39,639
guys bring your spouses into

431
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:41,040
it well I think one you could maybe have

432
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:42,480
a conversation with your spouse like

433
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:45,600
between the two of you like initially

434
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:47,480
kind of address it like um between the

435
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,920
two of you and talk about like why

436
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,600
that's important or even like we kind of

437
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,880
talked about initially like if that is

438
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:54,759
uncomfortable like kind of figure out

439
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:57,759
why that is and um how to work through

440
00:15:54,759 --> 00:16:00,079
that a little bit um I think another

441
00:15:57,759 --> 00:16:01,639
practical tip that can make it easier is

442
00:16:00,079 --> 00:16:03,199
like if you have it be a part of like

443
00:16:01,639 --> 00:16:05,600
dinner time or whenever you have your

444
00:16:03,199 --> 00:16:07,759
family time together um if you were to

445
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:09,759
do like a high and a low or if you have

446
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:12,440
a feelings chart that you have like on

447
00:16:09,759 --> 00:16:15,000
your dinner table or um you go around

448
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:16,480
and you say like okay what's one H happy

449
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,880
or positive emotion you felt today

450
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:20,240
what's one hard emotion you felt today

451
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:21,800
and how did you deal with it so I think

452
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,639
like you know it can be powerful for

453
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:25,399
kids to hear their dad say like yeah I

454
00:16:23,639 --> 00:16:27,319
had this presentation today and I felt

455
00:16:25,399 --> 00:16:30,000
really anxious about it and so you know

456
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:31,440
I took a couple minutes I prayed I tried

457
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:33,480
to take some deep breaths and then I

458
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:35,160
went reminded myself like the Lord has

459
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:37,279
like gifted me in this and I walked into

460
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:39,319
it right and so it's like you can even

461
00:16:37,279 --> 00:16:42,240
ease into how do you talk about emotions

462
00:16:39,319 --> 00:16:44,360
in a way that feels like more empowering

463
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:47,560
for you that then hopefully you just

464
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:50,000
keep learning to do it together we've

465
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:52,279
talked a lot about um just communication

466
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:54,880
and obviously that being really really

467
00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:57,720
important between your your spouse with

468
00:16:54,880 --> 00:17:00,040
your kids with their siblings um but

469
00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:01,560
what are some other prct iCal I don't

470
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:03,360
know if coping mechanisms is the right

471
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:06,480
word but tools maybe Tools in our

472
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:08,760
toolbox um to help have just healthy

473
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:12,000
mental health States in our house or to

474
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:13,559
encourage um healthy mental living

475
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,959
that's I think I just made that phrase

476
00:17:13,559 --> 00:17:17,600
up but I think you know what I mean I do

477
00:17:15,959 --> 00:17:19,959
um when someone comes in my office we

478
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:22,120
talk about like three different areas we

479
00:17:19,959 --> 00:17:24,839
talk about healthy habits healthy coping

480
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:27,400
and healthy processing okay um so I

481
00:17:24,839 --> 00:17:29,000
think healthy habits are ways you

482
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:30,520
support your mental health or set

483
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,840
yourself up well in order to have your

484
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:35,280
healthiest stress response um so three

485
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:37,840
big ones are sleep exercise and

486
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:39,440
nutrition um sleep is an active time for

487
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:41,520
your brain it's when it cleans out

488
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:43,679
toxins from the day and research has

489
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:45,000
shown that your amydala the Emergency

490
00:17:43,679 --> 00:17:47,200
Response Center in your brain that

491
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:49,360
activates your fight flight or freeze is

492
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:51,320
most impacted by inadequate sleep than

493
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:54,200
any other part of your brain oh boy

494
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:57,400
which is crazy unfortunate news

495
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:59,080
yeah um exercise or physical activity it

496
00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:01,480
offsets symptoms of an activ ated

497
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:03,080
amydala it burns off excess adrenaline

498
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,840
it's known to promote growth in brain

499
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:06,799
cells and the release of dopamine the

500
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:08,720
happy hormone um and it doesn't always

501
00:18:06,799 --> 00:18:10,760
have to be intense like going for a walk

502
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,679
is really good for your mental health um

503
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:14,559
there's actually research that shows if

504
00:18:12,679 --> 00:18:16,480
you walk outside your eyes naturally

505
00:18:14,559 --> 00:18:18,280
shift from right to left as you're

506
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,799
taking in what you're seeing which is

507
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:21,480
essentially creating neurop Pathways

508
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:24,760
from your right brain to your left brain

509
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:26,799
connecting logic to emotion um so

510
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:28,960
actually the trauma therapy EMDR was

511
00:18:26,799 --> 00:18:30,720
developed out of that research that's so

512
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:33,840
that God would create your your brain to

513
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:35,679
do that that's so cool yes um nutrition

514
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:37,480
eating nutritious foods but also eating

515
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:39,120
consistently like not skipping meals

516
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:41,240
because a drop in blood sugar can mimic

517
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:43,640
feelings of anxiety um another

518
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:45,400
interesting fact is that 95% of

519
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:47,760
Serotonin receptors are found in the

520
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:49,080
lining of your gut so what you eat can

521
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,600
actually impact your

522
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:53,240
mood

523
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:55,960
um so much there's so much mind is

524
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:58,240
taking so much in but it I I mean all

525
00:18:55,960 --> 00:19:00,440
these are so good for like you know I'm

526
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:02,520
thinking but this is also like for

527
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:04,720
grownups like am I doing these things

528
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:06,640
are my kids watching me do these things

529
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:08,280
so that they then recognize like oh she

530
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:10,120
makes it a priority like we go for a

531
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:12,240
walk you know we go you know are we

532
00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:14,559
doing these things am I encouraging my

533
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:16,360
kids to like hey no no put that down

534
00:19:14,559 --> 00:19:17,720
have an apple instead you know type

535
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:19,480
thing and that's just like those are

536
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:21,320
just healthy habits right like that's

537
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:23,360
not even specifically about coping so

538
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:25,320
then coping is how you handle or deal

539
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:26,880
with your emotions or channeling that

540
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:30,200
emotion into something constructive

541
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:31,799
instead of destructive um um so we can

542
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,280
talk about clinical ones like breathing

543
00:19:31,799 --> 00:19:34,960
techniques or grounding skills or

544
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:36,760
mindfulness but then it's also just

545
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:40,640
things like journaling or listening to

546
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:44,039
music or um do like taking quiet calm

547
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:45,720
space for a little bit or um doing

548
00:19:44,039 --> 00:19:47,919
something creative like drawing or

549
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:49,880
coloring or painting um and then

550
00:19:47,919 --> 00:19:51,520
physical activity can also be a coping

551
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:53,600
skill right like going for a walk going

552
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:55,919
for a run especially for boys there's

553
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:57,480
definitely a physicality to emotions so

554
00:19:55,919 --> 00:19:59,000
doing something physical can help

555
00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:00,520
release that emotion while whether it's

556
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:03,480
like kicking a soccer ball against the

557
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:06,919
basement wall or punching bag Sprints

558
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:09,000
jumping jacks like anything physical um

559
00:20:06,919 --> 00:20:11,000
yeah are we yeah again just as a parent

560
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,840
am I creating space for those things to

561
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:15,640
happen I even think like if if our day

562
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:17,720
is so uh full you know I haven't created

563
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,320
space for my kids to have these Outlets

564
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,919
you know that could be a disservice so

565
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:23,240
you know I'm just I'm taking it all in

566
00:20:20,919 --> 00:20:25,480
yeah yeah and I think like it's

567
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:27,520
important for parents to model these

568
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:29,600
things um healthy habits but also

569
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:31,400
healthy coping like I you don't have to

570
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:33,159
hide the fact that you have an emotional

571
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:35,200
reaction I think it's probably even

572
00:20:33,159 --> 00:20:37,480
better for your kids to see that and

573
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:39,360
then see what you do to handle that well

574
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:41,919
or how to cope with that emotion or if

575
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:43,760
you mess it up then you go back and you

576
00:20:41,919 --> 00:20:46,360
apologize you acknowledge that you

577
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:47,799
messed it up and then you try again or

578
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:49,600
you know like I'll talk to parents

579
00:20:47,799 --> 00:20:51,600
sometimes of adolescence and say like if

580
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,799
you're in a conversation with your teen

581
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,679
and you're starting to get really

582
00:20:52,799 --> 00:20:55,640
frustrated like you can say that like

583
00:20:54,679 --> 00:20:57,080
you know what I'm feeling really

584
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:58,400
frustrated in this moment I just need to

585
00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:00,200
take a couple deep breaths let's pause

586
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:03,320
the conversation like why don't we do it

587
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:06,919
together and then you continue on right

588
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:08,480
so modeling it is good um don't feel

589
00:21:06,919 --> 00:21:10,039
like you can't have the emotion as the

590
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:12,720
parent yeah that's

591
00:21:10,039 --> 00:21:15,720
good did you have a third you have a

592
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:17,240
third okay oh well healthy processing

593
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,159
which I think we've kind of talked about

594
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:21,039
and I think we're going to go into

595
00:21:18,159 --> 00:21:22,840
talking about a little bit more um

596
00:21:21,039 --> 00:21:24,000
question we're talking about mental

597
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:26,320
health and the importance of it and the

598
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:28,919
importance to create space for it is

599
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:31,559
there ever a time that it can be over

600
00:21:28,919 --> 00:21:34,200
emphasized and like almost give people

601
00:21:31,559 --> 00:21:36,440
an excuse I think it's a good I mean

602
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:38,240
culture right now yeah like mental

603
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,760
health like I can't cuz of my anxiety my

604
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,640
mental health you hear that a lot or not

605
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:44,880
good for my mental health MH so what is

606
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:46,400
a where do we find the balance between

607
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:50,720
overemphasizing

608
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:53,840
and maybe crippling I use that lightly

609
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:57,080
um and then the other side of giving

610
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:58,200
space and building resilience MH yeah I

611
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,720
think we're going to head into

612
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:02,640
resilience a little bit which we can

613
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:04,679
kind of um walk into that in a minute as

614
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:07,320
well but I also think like there is a

615
00:22:04,679 --> 00:22:10,679
cultural trendiness of it um that I

616
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:12,559
think is important to be aware of um the

617
00:22:10,679 --> 00:22:14,919
Fuller youth Institute came out with a

618
00:22:12,559 --> 00:22:17,440
book recently or maybe actually a couple

619
00:22:14,919 --> 00:22:19,240
years ago based on research study um

620
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:21,520
it's called the three big questions that

621
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:23,760
change every teenager and it talks about

622
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:28,080
how every teenager is looking for

623
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:30,559
belonging identity and purpose and so um

624
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:32,960
I think at times it's possible for like

625
00:22:30,559 --> 00:22:35,799
a elevated mental health struggle to

626
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:37,880
come out of like a desire for belonging

627
00:22:35,799 --> 00:22:40,159
or a group of friends who find their

628
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:42,880
identity in that um which doesn't make

629
00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:46,960
it any less delicate but it just informs

630
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:49,400
kind of how you respond um I also think

631
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:51,960
like this is kind of what you asked

632
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:54,000
maybe in a different light um you know

633
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:56,080
we talked about building an intentional

634
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:58,600
time to talk with your kids I think

635
00:22:56,080 --> 00:23:00,520
sometimes bedtime can be a good time

636
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,760
because things are quieting down

637
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:03,600
sometimes it can be the worst time

638
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:05,600
because if your kids are extra tired and

639
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:08,240
now you're giving attention to something

640
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:09,679
in an emotional space you're creating a

641
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:11,039
bigger problem out of something when

642
00:23:09,679 --> 00:23:13,279
you're actually not in the right head

643
00:23:11,039 --> 00:23:16,120
space to process through it so I do

644
00:23:13,279 --> 00:23:18,919
think you're mindful of how you bring

645
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:21,000
attention to it or how you respond to it

646
00:23:18,919 --> 00:23:22,679
um I think if you know kind of going

647
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,960
into that resilience conversation like

648
00:23:22,679 --> 00:23:26,120
there is ways to build resilience or to

649
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:29,600
help your

650
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:34,120
kids work on just because something's

651
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:36,799
hard doesn't mean I don't do it um so I

652
00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:40,640
think you

653
00:23:36,799 --> 00:23:42,880
know we do need to let our kids struggle

654
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:45,240
um in small ways and then sometimes like

655
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:47,120
in real big ways um and I don't it

656
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:48,799
doesn't mean that we do it from afar we

657
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:51,039
just push them into it right like we

658
00:23:48,799 --> 00:23:53,360
draw near like the Lord draws near to us

659
00:23:51,039 --> 00:23:55,919
as well um we prepare them for it we

660
00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:58,200
talk through it um we help them

661
00:23:55,919 --> 00:24:00,480
anticipate what is maybe to come and so

662
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:05,159
that they feel empowered and ready to

663
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:07,919
walk into that situation um but I think

664
00:24:05,159 --> 00:24:10,000
our kids need to know that they are

665
00:24:07,919 --> 00:24:12,720
capable and that we believe that they

666
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:14,360
are capable right um I actually had a

667
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,640
one of my son's teachers call me out on

668
00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:16,840
this one time because he was struggling

669
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:19,400
with something and I just swooped into

670
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:21,640
to do it for him um and he was like he

671
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,840
can do it and I was like okay but I was

672
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,760
actually really appreciative because

673
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:27,120
it's true like I need my son to have the

674
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,720
experience of like this is hard and I

675
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:31,559
might struggle through it but I can

676
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:33,720
still do it and I can't just give up and

677
00:24:31,559 --> 00:24:35,679
I can work my way through it um and I

678
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:38,480
think that's true in big and in small

679
00:24:35,679 --> 00:24:41,000
ways um and I think honestly like it

680
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:43,320
builds a resilience in our faith as well

681
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:45,559
like Romans 5 tells us suffering

682
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:47,760
produces perseverance perseverance

683
00:24:45,559 --> 00:24:49,720
character and character hope um and we

684
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:51,960
as adults like know that to be true like

685
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:54,200
we can point to experiences in our life

686
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:57,240
where we see like well struggle was hard

687
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:58,919
like this is how I came to know the Lord

688
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:02,640
as healer or

689
00:24:58,919 --> 00:25:04,000
or my dependence on him um so you know

690
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:06,399
there's ways you do it where you're

691
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:08,880
leading your children to Jesus in it or

692
00:25:06,399 --> 00:25:11,159
you're empowering them in it um but it

693
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:13,600
doesn't mean that you you scoop them

694
00:25:11,159 --> 00:25:14,360
from the struggle yeah from doing the

695
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:17,240
hard

696
00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:19,960
thing which is hard it's hard it's so

697
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:22,880
hard so hard yeah it's even hard in the

698
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:25,320
in my very small context of it of seeing

699
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:27,000
Ezekiel my three-year-old get frustrated

700
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,520
with small tasks you know and I'll and

701
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:31,080
I'll let him do it for a little little

702
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:33,000
bit and then want to want to fix it or

703
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:34,760
help them or put a shoe on for him you

704
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,919
know like little little things I can't

705
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:39,799
imagine as it gets bigger and there are

706
00:25:36,919 --> 00:25:41,760
things that you can probably fix for

707
00:25:39,799 --> 00:25:44,000
your kids but it's just better to let

708
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:46,080
them do it on their own yeah I'll just

709
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:47,799
I'll just tell you it's hard okay I'll

710
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:49,440
speak from that experience um I think

711
00:25:47,799 --> 00:25:51,080
another way you build resilience in your

712
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:53,159
kids is with like empowerment and

713
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:56,039
building like a healthy confidence and

714
00:25:53,159 --> 00:25:58,320
identity right because it's hard for you

715
00:25:56,039 --> 00:25:59,559
to think oh I can't do this hard thing

716
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,960
if you don't think good things about

717
00:25:59,559 --> 00:26:03,360
yourself so like I encourage parents to

718
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,840
not let a day go by where you're not

719
00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:07,240
speaking some kind of goodness or

720
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:09,080
positive reinforcement over your kids um

721
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:11,559
and I like to frame it in like I love

722
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:13,480
that God made you and then picking out

723
00:26:11,559 --> 00:26:14,919
unique qualities about them like you're

724
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,840
creative you're thoughtful you're

725
00:26:14,919 --> 00:26:19,000
curious so that way you're anchoring it

726
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:22,320
in the ways that the Lord intentionally

727
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:23,520
designed them um or you know I notice

728
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,840
things that your kids are doing like

729
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:27,520
I'll say to my son like I can I tell you

730
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:29,399
something I noticed today I noticed that

731
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:32,360
you are courageous because even though

732
00:26:29,399 --> 00:26:33,840
you felt nervous you still did this um

733
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:35,600
and it reminds me of that verse in

734
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:37,240
Joshua God tells us be strong and

735
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:39,720
courageous for I'm with you wherever you

736
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:41,760
go so you're you're anchoring it all in

737
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:44,440
this is your worth that the Lord has

738
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:47,880
given you and and you're enabling it

739
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:49,960
with the power of the of the word yeah I

740
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:51,679
love that while we're on that topic if

741
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,720
you're starting to notice that your

742
00:26:51,679 --> 00:26:56,360
child is kind of name calling themselves

743
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:58,559
and having pretty negative selft talk uh

744
00:26:56,360 --> 00:27:00,640
what's a good intervention with that CU

745
00:26:58,559 --> 00:27:02,960
I feel like my instinct would be like

746
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:05,640
don't say that about yourself but that

747
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:10,200
doesn't really fix it that

748
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:11,679
just yeah I think um personally how I

749
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:13,320
would respond to that is I would say

750
00:27:11,679 --> 00:27:15,039
like oh it makes me really sad to hear

751
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:16,880
you say that about yourself I don't

752
00:27:15,039 --> 00:27:18,360
think those things of you I know the

753
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,520
Lord doesn't think those things of you

754
00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:22,120
either like where' that come from where

755
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:24,000
do you think that came from and what do

756
00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:26,159
you think the Lord would speak to to you

757
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,720
over that um what are some truth

758
00:27:26,159 --> 00:27:29,080
statements that we can say in response

759
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:31,320
to that

760
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,799
um things like that yeah I feel like we

761
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:35,760
could keep going on and on and on but we

762
00:27:32,799 --> 00:27:38,480
are running out of time so um I just

763
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:41,480
want to uh kind of end it with one last

764
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:42,679
question of you know all of these things

765
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,159
um we've talked about are kind of like

766
00:27:42,679 --> 00:27:46,039
normal walks through mental health that

767
00:27:44,159 --> 00:27:47,640
we would expect our kids to have seasons

768
00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:49,720
where they struggle and don't struggle

769
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:53,360
and we can walk them through but let's

770
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:55,200
just maybe create a a line that says hey

771
00:27:53,360 --> 00:27:56,919
at what point would we maybe need to

772
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:58,640
seek some help or recognize like hey

773
00:27:56,919 --> 00:28:00,399
this is outside a normal mental health

774
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,919
check and this is outside a normal

775
00:28:00,399 --> 00:28:03,480
problem we probably need a professional

776
00:28:01,919 --> 00:28:05,760
to come in and give us some guidance

777
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:08,039
here um maybe just speak to that and

778
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:11,000
then we'll we'll just wrap it up yeah I

779
00:28:08,039 --> 00:28:12,880
think um you know if we're talking about

780
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,760
anything clinical the things that we

781
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:16,440
tend to look at is how much it's

782
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:18,679
impairing functioning so like how much

783
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:21,880
it's getting inter it's interfering with

784
00:28:18,679 --> 00:28:25,000
their ability to do day-to-day things um

785
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:26,840
the the duration of it so if it's like

786
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:28,559
an intense emotion for an extended

787
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:31,600
period of time that's always something

788
00:28:28,559 --> 00:28:33,840
that would raise alarms um I think any

789
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:36,919
drastic change is something to be

790
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:39,799
mindful of um sleep changes big change

791
00:28:36,919 --> 00:28:43,080
in academic performance things like that

792
00:28:39,799 --> 00:28:45,360
um I also think like it doesn't have to

793
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:47,240
be drastic to seek help right like I

794
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:49,440
don't it's never bad to invite other

795
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:50,799
voices into your kids lives um

796
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,360
especially there's going to come a time

797
00:28:50,799 --> 00:28:54,120
where your teenager is just not going to

798
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,679
hear your voice for a little while and

799
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,320
that happens for everybody and having a

800
00:28:55,679 --> 00:28:58,880
different adult say the exact same thing

801
00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:01,480
that you're saying they're going to hear

802
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:02,880
it differently so um there are times

803
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,080
where it's like yes you need to seek

804
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,600
help and then there's other times where

805
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:08,279
it might be like hey why don't why don't

806
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:09,919
we just seek help it's not like a

807
00:29:08,279 --> 00:29:11,519
emergent situation but it's not going to

808
00:29:09,919 --> 00:29:13,200
be a negative thing or even asking your

809
00:29:11,519 --> 00:29:15,120
child like would you be interested in

810
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,679
this I I love that you said that CU even

811
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,159
that habit of into an adulthood of like

812
00:29:16,679 --> 00:29:20,600
hey this let's normalize this let's

813
00:29:18,159 --> 00:29:22,679
normalize other voices and you having a

814
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,279
space that you can process um because

815
00:29:22,679 --> 00:29:25,760
you know life changes and knowing like

816
00:29:24,279 --> 00:29:27,679
oh this is a normal thing I'm an adult

817
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:30,159
now this is something that I could do to

818
00:29:27,679 --> 00:29:33,559
get some so I love that you said that um

819
00:29:30,159 --> 00:29:35,720
this has been like a wealth of knowledge

820
00:29:33,559 --> 00:29:37,360
I just I personally am so grateful just

821
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,960
this is good for me to have this

822
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:41,960
check-in and this um just reminders of

823
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:44,360
things to be doing at home and so I'm

824
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:45,799
I'm really grateful for you yeah thank

825
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:48,000
you Christina thank you for bringing

826
00:29:45,799 --> 00:29:51,120
just your wisdom and your knowledge and

827
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:52,960
you're just amazing um that's all the

828
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,640
time that we have unfortunately but

829
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:56,120
thank you guys so much for tuning in

830
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:59,760
please tune in next time this has been

831
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:59,760
parenting for the everyday