Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Being a great real estate agent and a great parent is not easy. We hear it all of the time from real estate agents all over. They feel pulled in a million different directions and live with constant guilt.
It doesn't have to be that way. You can be great at both. Josh Friberg of The Abundant Agent discusses here how to best manage both.
Show Notes
Justin Stoddart 0:00
Hey, welcome back to the think bigger real estate Show. I'm your host Justin Stoddart where my mission and passion are to help you think bigger so that you can have the business that you want in the life that you want. And you know, I am more than excited today to introduce a good friend of mine, Josh Friberg, who is fabulous at helping people have it all. Can you have it all, right? That's kind of the big question we're going to solve today. I believe that you can be in a dedicated family man and a dedicated professional. Today's topic is very near and dear to my heart. So let me give an intro for those of you that don't know Josh Friberg. First of all, let me say, Josh, thanks for being on the show, man.
Josh Friberg 0:34
Yeah, my pleasure. Really happy to be here with you.
Justin Stoddart 0:39
Good stuff. So for those that don't know, Josh, his background, he has actually was just recently on the executive team of an organization. Five doors that we want Inc 5000 top fastest growing privately held companies number 113. On that played a very critical role in helping them grow to the level that they did Justin has been a real estate agent and is now the abundant agent, somebody who's helping agents again, have it all. So excited to delve into this topic. As I said, that's very near and dear to my heart of how do you not neglect your family and still build a great business? So Josh, thank you, my friend. Appreciate you being on here talking about this incredibly important topic.
Josh Friberg 1:18
Absolutely. Yeah. You know Justin it's so interesting. Like, as I travel around the country teaching in brokerages and, and at associations, like over and over again, I find that real estate agents got into this business to take care of their families. And then now that their businesses are doing great now that their businesses are growing, they find out that their families are suffering, right, they look back over at the family and go, Oh, something's broken. And what many people don't understand is it actually only takes about getting takes getting three things, right. And if you can nail those, you can have amazing results. It's really about figuring out like, where your biggest contribution is really mapping your priorities, and then having an execution plan that works and, and the results are, you know, it's honestly just amazing. You know, we've walked agents through like doubling and tripling their businesses and reporting back, oh, I have more time with my spouse, I have more time with my kids and better relationships than I've ever had. So that's really what we're doing with the abundant agent is helping people really tap into that part of their real estate, businesses, and lives.
Justin Stoddart 2:23
You know, at the core of who I am, I'm a family guy. And, but I don't necessarily want to have a lousy career because I have a big family because family is important to me. It's It's interesting. I meet with agents all the time. A lot of times, it's moms, they kind of raise their hand and they say, I'm torn inside. I don't know how to do this. Because some days I wake up in fact, this is a quote from a client. She said, You know, I wake up some days and I just want to kill it. And I'm just so excited, fired up to go build my business. She said other days, I just want to be a mom, I want to foreclose, I just want to. And so there's this like kind of schizo Franek, like, Who do I want to be. And, you know, me myself self was raised in a family, where I had a mom who was a very successful entrepreneur, and yet, she was the best mom I could have ever imagined. And I think she came to grips with the fact that she could be where she needed to be when she needed to be there by owning her own business. Right, actually gave her the freedom to kill it during certain work hours, and then step out and be at all of our games, travel around the state to watch our football games, etc. And so I think that you can't have it all. I've seen it I was raised in an environment of, of entrepreneurs and family members who pursued both and and and were great parents at the same time. So let's start with Josh, what advice would you give, whether it be a busy mother? And or a maybe even a busy father, but like, what are some of the tactics that you see some strategies that you teach, to help people to, you know, not neglect the family while still building their business?
Josh Friberg 3:56
Right? Well, first of all, I want to put huge Asterix on this, this is where talking if we are talking to moms, right like that, we don't know that you and I do not understand their world, right, and the responsibilities that are on them. And so anything that I say I say with like great caution, and great like, just, hey, apply this as you can. And I know that I don't fully understand your world. The first place, you know, you mentioned and I thought this was really good is to be where you are, is to actually like, it's really interesting. I was in a class in a yoga class actually once and they said, you know, your body can only be in the present, right. And we would all agree with that, like I can't have my body be in the past in my body can't be in the future, it can only be in the present, yet our minds can be in the past, our minds can be in the present, or our minds can be in the future. And so this person said it was really just an interesting thing is they said, just let your mind be where your body is right now.
And so, you know, even now, like you and I have the ability, while we're having this conversation to be thinking about what we're having for lunch today to think about that weird thing we said Yes, today, right? Like, there's all these things, but to just be present where you are. The other thing is, there's, there's this old, there's this old saying in comedy, which is leaving wanting more, right. And I started applying this in my business, because I'm like, your friend, your client that said, you know, some days, I just want to go into work, and I just want to kill it. For achievers, there's actually something really gratifying about the 14 hour work day not as a lifestyle, right. But as a like a day where man, you're just hitting on all cylinders, and you're able to give it your all, you're able to pull an all-nighter. And really like at the end of the day, say I did something.
And you can do that for a day or a week or maybe even a month. But that's not a lifestyle, right? One of the things that I do when I'm coaching achievers is put a limit on it. And it's like, on those days when everything's going right. Like, put in the three hours that you have in your schedule, do it are the five or whatever it is. And when you come to the end of it stop.
Because that energy will have you ramped up, I had the experience of that this weekend where I could not wait for Monday to start because I was so pumped about the activities I was going to do for work. And I committed to honoring my time with family on Sunday and helping my son with his science project, right. So like, set limits on when you're going to work and stick to those. Now there's another piece to that. Because then there are days when Hey, I just want to stay home, I just want to it's sunny out, I want to take the kids to the zoo, or Boy, you know, families having a rough day I will I didn't really need to do. Maybe Today's a day I need to call in sick and stay at home. And I literally just got a text this morning from one of my coaching clients that said that exact same thing. Hey, I didn't make my commitments that were because we really needed a family day.
And it might be okay once but boy, that becomes a habit that's really dangerous for your business. So what I say is, create a schedule and do it whether you feel like it or not. And do it whether you feel like it or not. Right. I'm sorry, I'm going a little long here. Justin, what are your thoughts on this? Because I know you?
Justin Stoddart 7:17
Well, you know, it's interesting you say that because I think it goes contrary to what maybe we've been taught. And I think that's probably a good thing. Because a lot of people are really struggling in this area. So what you're saying is that when you have, if you decide that I'm going to, I'm going to make 10 contacts within my database, for example, and I'm going to write no cards, and I'm gonna go to lunch with, you know, a client that I've served in the past. And that's your commitment for the day, even if you still have more gas in your tank, and you're like, man, let's keep going. What you're saying is no stop. And and and keep your commitment to then go spend time with your family. Even if you get those things done earlier, what I hear you saying is go reallocate that time to family life, like be okay with the fact that you didn't sign up for, for a nine to five job, you're paid based on activity based on results. And if you get those things in earlier, guilt-free, go spend time with family, yet on the days when you don't feel like doing anything, those are the days where champions are made, those are the days that you've got to do a gut check and say, You know what, I've got to do the work today so that on those other days, I can actually spend time with family that I've committed to is that what I hear you saying?
Josh Friberg 8:29
Absolutely. Yeah. Because it's and we could talk about both sides of this, right. I mean, as you said, that's where champions are made. I think it's really interesting.
You know, Usain Bolt shows up, and he does his intervals for the day. And then he turns to his coaching, it's like, Man, I'm on today, I'm on fire today. Like, could we do another? Can we do another hour? What's the coach gonna say, they're gonna be like, No, you can't do another hour, as your body needs to now recover from what you just did. And I, by the way, I've got a workout tomorrow, that's going to mean Holy cow, your eyelashes are gonna hurt at the end of that one. Like we're going to make you work. And so like, that's the thing is, is create a business plan and stick to it. Now you do want to stop and measure and make sure you're getting results along the way. And you need a business plan that's effective. We're talking to the thing, bigger real estate show, right? We're not talking to them, like think small real estate show. So I'm to already have big businesses, they already have effective business plans. But yeah, let's let's talk about those days, you don't feel like it, because I think that's super important. And here's where here's where people go wrong. They've been successful because maybe they got their backs against the wall at some point. And they were able to achieve or, by and large, most of the time they feel like doing it, right. And so typically, what they do is if they're kind of entrepreneurial, if they kind of do things off the cuff is well, when I feel like doing something, I do it. In general, that's led to success.
But that's going to wear out, and that's going to wear thin. And so if you're sitting around waiting to feel like it, you're just going to keep sitting, right? If you wait. But here's what's fascinating is every time I've had coaching client that's like, I just don't feel like it, I go, Well, they just go make one call to just go make one contact, and then call me back. Right? And then they do and they call me back and they're like that that didn't that went well. And I'm like Greg, make another one. And we literally will do this for like three hours until they go, Hey, I made my 10. And I wrote my notes. And now I've got my lunch appointment, right, as you described.
Justin Stoddart 10:41
That's actually I was having this conversation with a mentor of mine yesterday about this book that I read years ago called the Kaizen way. In fact, I just want it for him. Yeah. And actually, I'm going to be delivering to him tomorrow. But the concept is, there was actually a doctor and he was dealing with people who were obese that needed to get in shape, their health was suffering as a result. And they said, you know, I've tried gym memberships, I've tried all these different things, it doesn't work. And he said, Look, all I want you to do, like each day this week is put your shoes on? Yeah, that's it and like go for a run. No, just put your shoes on and sit on the couch and watch TV. You played it like whatever you normally do. I want you to have your, your running shoes on. Yeah, okay, kind of laughingly, like, I'll do that. And then the next step was okay, I want you to go stand on the treadmill, like Don't, don't you dare walk or run on it, you're just supposed to stand there for a few minutes. And like little by little, he got them to where they realize that whatever it is that was keeping them from doing the activities necessary, got rid of all those mental blocks, little, you know, one little tiny step at a time. And I think what I'm hearing you say is that that's a similar strategy is that if you don't feel like making the committed effort in your business that you once decided was necessary to help you reach your goals. Like start with something so simple, make it one contact, right? Thank one email, like something so simple, that gets you over the hump. So that then you can really unleash kind of get rid of that fear and the doubt that's keeping you from doing what you know, you should be doing.
Josh Friberg 12:11
Absolutely. And then where I go from here then is I say, you know, pick those three or four areas of your life that are super important, right? So your business, your physical health, your relationship spouse, relationship with your kids, like take those four areas, and I have in my life, I have a 15-minute rule. Every day, I spend 15 minutes in those four areas. Now you know the truth Justin I don't spend only 15 minutes on those areas. But every day, five days a week on with my business and seven days a week with those other areas, I spend, at a minimum 15 minutes on each one of those areas, making some sort of positive step, some sort of little positive step and each of those areas. And of course, what happens is for me is that it Prime's the pump, right? So as soon as I like lock into my daughter to my six-year-old daughter, and I go, this is her 15 minutes, I'm going to just freeze frame on that with her, I'm totally present to her. And we're talking about something I don't care about right talking about unicorns today, or hatch moles, or whatever it is like I lock into that. And before you know it, right, we're an hour later. So instead of, Hey, I'm just gonna, I'm just going to check my Facebook feed here, it'll just take a minute. And then two hours later, I'm still there. It's like, you know what, I'm just going to take 15 minutes with my wife. And then you Lo and behold, two hours later, I'm still there, I'm going to take 15 minutes to make this really important move in my business. And then two hours later, it's like, oh, and then I finally built that website I've been talking about for three months. That's what it looks like is little actions. And because, again, if we're waiting for the feeling to show up, before we act, we actually have it backward, we want to act. And then if crazy enough, the feeling shows that we act, we get a result. And the result either moves us toward our goal, or it doesn't, which gives us feedback. We're like, Oh, don't make phone calls like that. Right? Oh, don't, you know, don't do that marketing scheme, like, great, we got some feedback. We have a feeling that goes along with that, and we get back in action.
Justin Stoddart 14:20
I think that's brilliant.
Josh Friberg 14:20
When people try and get the feeling first act first,
just do something.
Justin Stoddart 14:23
All of us, right? I think that's why most people are mediocre at a lot of things, right? Is it like, I'll be a good dad, like, I'll go play catch with my kid when I feel like it. You know, and the reality is like, childhood goes really fast. And if you talk to grandpas, if they have one regret, it's you know, I wish I would have spent more time. Less time, you know, maybe in front of the TV and more time out playing catch with my kid, you know, the same thing in business, right? I think there are so many lives that are that what you taught right there, that's the only thing that's keeping them from mediocre, or from good to great is the ability to make a decision and act even when they don't feel like it, especially when they don't feel like it because that's what separates you. Right? That's why Yeah, that's the difference between most producers. And most parents, and great parents, that's the difference between most producers and great producers, is that they just do the activities consistently enough, you and I have probably both read the compound effect by Darren Hardy, right? You know, and compound interest is the same concept as you start early, and it's a consistent deposit. And if you take away the consistency, it kills it. And the same thing with lead generation. That's why I see so many real estate agents jumping from this tactic to this tactic to this tactic to this tactic, because they're assuming that that doesn't work for them. And they didn't like that one, or they didn't get the results. They never actually employed the power of the compound effect because they didn't do it consistently enough. Because they were relying upon when I feel like doing it, I'll do it, which is never consistently enough to actually get the results. So then they jumped to something now so the grass got to be greener, this has got to be it. This is going to be the tack that this is going to save my business.
Josh Friberg 16:05
And what people forget about the compound effect too is when you look at the compound effect from the outside, it looks like this.
It's just this like really
straight, really exciting line. The then suddenly takes off, right? This is why, like you'll consistently hear like musicians and artists say yeah, it only took me 20 years to become an overnight success. The harder part is that from the inside, you're looking at the competition, and the competition seems to be going up like this. And they may be they may be going up on this like straight trajectory. While you're going up, you're going like this, because you're building your building your building, and then surpass them at the finish line, right? It's just, it's the craziest thing. Because you have to just keep doing it every day, every day, every day. And I love like the business plan that you sketched out in 12 seconds a little bit ago, is a brilliantly simple business plan that agents done consistently, will, I mean will make an amazing lifestyle for people and amazing lifestyle for people done inconsistently you will go broke, you will lose your family, you will lose your health. Like it just won't work.
Justin Stoddart 17:20
Yeah. As with anything, right? I mean, even exercise and nutrition, all of those things. Anything great in life depends upon even talk to people like Steve Jobs that, you know, literally transforms like the world in which we live. And they talk about how it's not as sexy as an Apple keynote presentation. Right? That's our that's the unveiling. But there's, there's, you know, day hours and days and weeks and months and years of pretty monotonous, mundane work, you know, with an occasional super exciting thing. But that great success. If you look back and read biographies of the people that have had the great impact whether at home, or even, you know, in business, it comes down to very simple practices done consistently over time, repeatedly, repeatedly, repeatedly.
Josh Friberg 18:11
Yeah. Well, not to like, you know, to like kick down the fourth wall or anything but like to think bigger, our real estate show, right? You made that commitment at the beginning of this year, because you'd been doing it like, at a certain level last year. And then you said hey, you know what, I'm going to change the model this year. I'm going to do it every day, five days a week. 845 like, this is my interview. And holy cow like, here we are four months in fight, you know, starting on the fifth month in and people are going Justin man what's going on with think bigger real estate show. But I imagine in February, there were days where it was like, nobody's watching. But I'm doing it. It's Tuesday. And I'm doing it. And it's the next Tuesday and I'm doing it and nobody's right. And now people are like, people really talking about this already, you know, after months, and I can only imagine what this looks like after a couple years. Right? And you know, even the end of this year.
Justin Stoddart 19:04
Yeah.
Yeah, no, it's Yeah, there's absolutely and if you
Josh Friberg 19:10
don't mind share with folks. Lee.
Justin Stoddart 19:14
Yeah, that's a great point. Great example. And it's, it's, it does get easier over time, right. Like the first little while is where most people turn back where it's like, this is too hard. It's too much. I can't do this every day. Whether it be you know, what I'm doing or whether it be you know, what a real estate agent does the other day, if there's gotta be some consistency. And if you do, like the prizes, great, like, the reward is great, but you gotta pay the price. So any other tips? Josh, before we kind of wrap up for being a great parent, and a great agent, any kind of last things that we didn't cover that you want to hit on? Or do you feel like that's enough for today?
Josh Friberg 19:54
I think we hit on that the other thing, so we talked a lot of tactical, right, that's actually usually the second steps to talk tactical. The other piece to do is, is that I would say, to take time to really understand what your greatest contribution is, right? The reality is, is that the work that we do matters and the lives that we live matter. And when we take the time to really think about that, and say like, only you can be a parent to your kids, only you get to be a spouse to your spouse, only you get to be the owner operator of the body that you live in. Right? Right. And only you get to provide the unique value, the unique value that you provide to your real estate clients. So to take actually take a half an hour, this afternoon. And to, to start to write that out, like what why is the world a better place? Because I'm here? Why is it important for me to be a great parent? You know, I was talking to this one of our one of my clients in Tennessee, and I said, Why? You know, I'd be a mom, who cares, right? I was being sarcastic. She came in and she said, she said, Josh, I am raising the future citizens of this country. She's like, I am raising the people who are going to be running for office, or at least voting for the people that are in office. And they are going to be making contributions to their community. It is vital that I nailed this as a parent. And I was like, Yeah, I was struck by that.
And say, so why, like, tell me why it's important for you to be a parent and understanding that now all of a sudden, playing soccer in the backyard is about raising it is about the future of the nation, right. Like that's, that's amazing. And so then to be able to say, okay, you know, what, actually, this stuff matters, to say, hey, I need to make sure that I am in good enough physical shape to dance at my daughter's wedding. 20 years from now, all of a sudden changes whether or not I put on my tennis shoes today.
Justin Stoddart 21:55
Yeah, that's powerful. Right.
Josh Friberg 21:57
And that's the decision by the way that we're making. We're often stuck making the decision between, you know, nachos on the couch in front of the TV and the running shoes, when what we should be doing is, is Wayne nachos on the couch in front of the TV with dancing her daughter's wedding.
Justin Stoddart 22:17
But that's a different conversation.
Yeah, because it's not just some pretty good until you compare it against. This will prohibit me if compounded over time. This will be a pivot me from being active enough to dance at my daughter's wedding, nachos or dance his wedding? That's an easier decision.
Josh Friberg 22:36
Right?
Justin Stoddart 22:38
That's powerful, man. Great stuff. Last question here. As we wrap up, Josh, for do to expand your own possibilities to think bigger, give the audience today, a tip, something that they can do that that that you found, really helps you to think bigger on a consistent basis.
Josh Friberg 22:56
Wow, what something that I do? Make sure I think bigger on a consistent basis. I think
the two biggest things that I do in that space Justin First of all, is hanging out with people that think bigger than me. Like literally just hang out with people that think bigger than me. And the second is, is that I dream? Like it's sort of a hobby of mine is that I just like fantasize. So all that talk I did about being present, is that I spend at least some time in the future. What would and I've talked with you about this, what would it look like for my family to move and live in Belize? And then talk about what would it look like for us to buy an RV and live for a year in an RV or to become snowbirds in our four days? Right? Like why not? Is I dream on with zero? Like, yeah, but that couldn't happen or no, like, just No, no, that's off the table as to the how, and just go for it. And that's how I do the same in our business right? Is what would it look like to be a million dollar business? What would it look like to be a $10 million business? break open a spreadsheet and figure out what is the business plan be? Now I'll tell you that nine times out of 100 I get done and I go, Oh, I'm unwilling to commit to the activities to make that a possibility. But I did think bigger while I was doing it.
Justin Stoddart 24:27
And it probably made it so whatever activities you were you had committed for the day, it seemed a lot easier. Right see a lot more.
Josh Friberg 24:35
Right.
Here, here's how big I didn't use the activities I am willing to commit to I
along the way.
Justin Stoddart 24:45
Great stuff, man. Always great stuff when I get a chance to talk with you. Thank you again so much, Josh for pouring tons of value into the think bigger real estate audience I'm gonna put up here on the screen and where you can get a hold of Josh. Josh is a fantastic speaker. If you've enjoyed anything that he's said here today, you haven't seen anything yet. You put him in front of a crowd, he has this, this amazing ability to tell a story and we've principles in that keep your attention and get you really engaged in the topic at hand. So your real estate speaker calm, he's actually launching his brand, the abundant agent, so that site will be coming soon. But if you keep this website here, this will always be redirected to his actual site. Your real estate speaker calm. Go find Josh, if you're looking for a great keynote if you're looking for somebody who can be you know, a great coach when it comes to individual coaches or group coaching. He's a fantastic resource, I would highly recommend him to anybody. So thank you again, Josh, for all that you do for people for the industry that you and I both serve, and for the world for just being a great person.
Josh Friberg 25:46
All right, thank you, Justin, thanks so much for the time. Appreciate it.
Hey, welcome back to the think bigger real estate Show. I'm your host Justin Stoddart where my mission and passion are to help you think bigger so that you can have the business that you want in the life that you want. And you know, I am more than excited today to introduce a good friend of mine, Josh Friberg, who is fabulous at helping people have it all. Can you have it all, right? That's kind of the big question we're going to solve today. I believe that you can be in a dedicated family man and a dedicated professional. Today's topic is very near and dear to my heart. So let me give an intro for those of you that don't know Josh Friberg. First of all, let me say, Josh, thanks for being on the show, man.
Josh Friberg 0:34
Yeah, my pleasure. Really happy to be here with you.
Justin Stoddart 0:39
Good stuff. So for those that don't know, Josh, his background, he has actually was just recently on the executive team of an organization. Five doors that we want Inc 5000 top fastest growing privately held companies number 113. On that played a very critical role in helping them grow to the level that they did Justin has been a real estate agent and is now the abundant agent, somebody who's helping agents again, have it all. So excited to delve into this topic. As I said, that's very near and dear to my heart of how do you not neglect your family and still build a great business? So Josh, thank you, my friend. Appreciate you being on here talking about this incredibly important topic.
Josh Friberg 1:18
Absolutely. Yeah. You know Justin it's so interesting. Like, as I travel around the country teaching in brokerages and, and at associations, like over and over again, I find that real estate agents got into this business to take care of their families. And then now that their businesses are doing great now that their businesses are growing, they find out that their families are suffering, right, they look back over at the family and go, Oh, something's broken. And what many people don't understand is it actually only takes about getting takes getting three things, right. And if you can nail those, you can have amazing results. It's really about figuring out like, where your biggest contribution is really mapping your priorities, and then having an execution plan that works and, and the results are, you know, it's honestly just amazing. You know, we've walked agents through like doubling and tripling their businesses and reporting back, oh, I have more time with my spouse, I have more time with my kids and better relationships than I've ever had. So that's really what we're doing with the abundant agent is helping people really tap into that part of their real estate, businesses, and lives.
Justin Stoddart 2:23
You know, at the core of who I am, I'm a family guy. And, but I don't necessarily want to have a lousy career because I have a big family because family is important to me. It's It's interesting. I meet with agents all the time. A lot of times, it's moms, they kind of raise their hand and they say, I'm torn inside. I don't know how to do this. Because some days I wake up in fact, this is a quote from a client. She said, You know, I wake up some days and I just want to kill it. And I'm just so excited, fired up to go build my business. She said other days, I just want to be a mom, I want to foreclose, I just want to. And so there's this like kind of schizo Franek, like, Who do I want to be. And, you know, me myself self was raised in a family, where I had a mom who was a very successful entrepreneur, and yet, she was the best mom I could have ever imagined. And I think she came to grips with the fact that she could be where she needed to be when she needed to be there by owning her own business. Right, actually gave her the freedom to kill it during certain work hours, and then step out and be at all of our games, travel around the state to watch our football games, etc. And so I think that you can't have it all. I've seen it I was raised in an environment of, of entrepreneurs and family members who pursued both and and and were great parents at the same time. So let's start with Josh, what advice would you give, whether it be a busy mother? And or a maybe even a busy father, but like, what are some of the tactics that you see some strategies that you teach, to help people to, you know, not neglect the family while still building their business?
Josh Friberg 3:56
Right? Well, first of all, I want to put huge Asterix on this, this is where talking if we are talking to moms, right like that, we don't know that you and I do not understand their world, right, and the responsibilities that are on them. And so anything that I say I say with like great caution, and great like, just, hey, apply this as you can. And I know that I don't fully understand your world. The first place, you know, you mentioned and I thought this was really good is to be where you are, is to actually like, it's really interesting. I was in a class in a yoga class actually once and they said, you know, your body can only be in the present, right. And we would all agree with that, like I can't have my body be in the past in my body can't be in the future, it can only be in the present, yet our minds can be in the past, our minds can be in the present, or our minds can be in the future. And so this person said it was really just an interesting thing is they said, just let your mind be where your body is right now.
And so, you know, even now, like you and I have the ability, while we're having this conversation to be thinking about what we're having for lunch today to think about that weird thing we said Yes, today, right? Like, there's all these things, but to just be present where you are. The other thing is, there's, there's this old, there's this old saying in comedy, which is leaving wanting more, right. And I started applying this in my business, because I'm like, your friend, your client that said, you know, some days, I just want to go into work, and I just want to kill it. For achievers, there's actually something really gratifying about the 14 hour work day not as a lifestyle, right. But as a like a day where man, you're just hitting on all cylinders, and you're able to give it your all, you're able to pull an all-nighter. And really like at the end of the day, say I did something.
And you can do that for a day or a week or maybe even a month. But that's not a lifestyle, right? One of the things that I do when I'm coaching achievers is put a limit on it. And it's like, on those days when everything's going right. Like, put in the three hours that you have in your schedule, do it are the five or whatever it is. And when you come to the end of it stop.
Because that energy will have you ramped up, I had the experience of that this weekend where I could not wait for Monday to start because I was so pumped about the activities I was going to do for work. And I committed to honoring my time with family on Sunday and helping my son with his science project, right. So like, set limits on when you're going to work and stick to those. Now there's another piece to that. Because then there are days when Hey, I just want to stay home, I just want to it's sunny out, I want to take the kids to the zoo, or Boy, you know, families having a rough day I will I didn't really need to do. Maybe Today's a day I need to call in sick and stay at home. And I literally just got a text this morning from one of my coaching clients that said that exact same thing. Hey, I didn't make my commitments that were because we really needed a family day.
And it might be okay once but boy, that becomes a habit that's really dangerous for your business. So what I say is, create a schedule and do it whether you feel like it or not. And do it whether you feel like it or not. Right. I'm sorry, I'm going a little long here. Justin, what are your thoughts on this? Because I know you?
Justin Stoddart 7:17
Well, you know, it's interesting you say that because I think it goes contrary to what maybe we've been taught. And I think that's probably a good thing. Because a lot of people are really struggling in this area. So what you're saying is that when you have, if you decide that I'm going to, I'm going to make 10 contacts within my database, for example, and I'm going to write no cards, and I'm gonna go to lunch with, you know, a client that I've served in the past. And that's your commitment for the day, even if you still have more gas in your tank, and you're like, man, let's keep going. What you're saying is no stop. And and and keep your commitment to then go spend time with your family. Even if you get those things done earlier, what I hear you saying is go reallocate that time to family life, like be okay with the fact that you didn't sign up for, for a nine to five job, you're paid based on activity based on results. And if you get those things in earlier, guilt-free, go spend time with family, yet on the days when you don't feel like doing anything, those are the days where champions are made, those are the days that you've got to do a gut check and say, You know what, I've got to do the work today so that on those other days, I can actually spend time with family that I've committed to is that what I hear you saying?
Josh Friberg 8:29
Absolutely. Yeah. Because it's and we could talk about both sides of this, right. I mean, as you said, that's where champions are made. I think it's really interesting.
You know, Usain Bolt shows up, and he does his intervals for the day. And then he turns to his coaching, it's like, Man, I'm on today, I'm on fire today. Like, could we do another? Can we do another hour? What's the coach gonna say, they're gonna be like, No, you can't do another hour, as your body needs to now recover from what you just did. And I, by the way, I've got a workout tomorrow, that's going to mean Holy cow, your eyelashes are gonna hurt at the end of that one. Like we're going to make you work. And so like, that's the thing is, is create a business plan and stick to it. Now you do want to stop and measure and make sure you're getting results along the way. And you need a business plan that's effective. We're talking to the thing, bigger real estate show, right? We're not talking to them, like think small real estate show. So I'm to already have big businesses, they already have effective business plans. But yeah, let's let's talk about those days, you don't feel like it, because I think that's super important. And here's where here's where people go wrong. They've been successful because maybe they got their backs against the wall at some point. And they were able to achieve or, by and large, most of the time they feel like doing it, right. And so typically, what they do is if they're kind of entrepreneurial, if they kind of do things off the cuff is well, when I feel like doing something, I do it. In general, that's led to success.
But that's going to wear out, and that's going to wear thin. And so if you're sitting around waiting to feel like it, you're just going to keep sitting, right? If you wait. But here's what's fascinating is every time I've had coaching client that's like, I just don't feel like it, I go, Well, they just go make one call to just go make one contact, and then call me back. Right? And then they do and they call me back and they're like that that didn't that went well. And I'm like Greg, make another one. And we literally will do this for like three hours until they go, Hey, I made my 10. And I wrote my notes. And now I've got my lunch appointment, right, as you described.
Justin Stoddart 10:41
That's actually I was having this conversation with a mentor of mine yesterday about this book that I read years ago called the Kaizen way. In fact, I just want it for him. Yeah. And actually, I'm going to be delivering to him tomorrow. But the concept is, there was actually a doctor and he was dealing with people who were obese that needed to get in shape, their health was suffering as a result. And they said, you know, I've tried gym memberships, I've tried all these different things, it doesn't work. And he said, Look, all I want you to do, like each day this week is put your shoes on? Yeah, that's it and like go for a run. No, just put your shoes on and sit on the couch and watch TV. You played it like whatever you normally do. I want you to have your, your running shoes on. Yeah, okay, kind of laughingly, like, I'll do that. And then the next step was okay, I want you to go stand on the treadmill, like Don't, don't you dare walk or run on it, you're just supposed to stand there for a few minutes. And like little by little, he got them to where they realize that whatever it is that was keeping them from doing the activities necessary, got rid of all those mental blocks, little, you know, one little tiny step at a time. And I think what I'm hearing you say is that that's a similar strategy is that if you don't feel like making the committed effort in your business that you once decided was necessary to help you reach your goals. Like start with something so simple, make it one contact, right? Thank one email, like something so simple, that gets you over the hump. So that then you can really unleash kind of get rid of that fear and the doubt that's keeping you from doing what you know, you should be doing.
Josh Friberg 12:11
Absolutely. And then where I go from here then is I say, you know, pick those three or four areas of your life that are super important, right? So your business, your physical health, your relationship spouse, relationship with your kids, like take those four areas, and I have in my life, I have a 15-minute rule. Every day, I spend 15 minutes in those four areas. Now you know the truth Justin I don't spend only 15 minutes on those areas. But every day, five days a week on with my business and seven days a week with those other areas, I spend, at a minimum 15 minutes on each one of those areas, making some sort of positive step, some sort of little positive step and each of those areas. And of course, what happens is for me is that it Prime's the pump, right? So as soon as I like lock into my daughter to my six-year-old daughter, and I go, this is her 15 minutes, I'm going to just freeze frame on that with her, I'm totally present to her. And we're talking about something I don't care about right talking about unicorns today, or hatch moles, or whatever it is like I lock into that. And before you know it, right, we're an hour later. So instead of, Hey, I'm just gonna, I'm just going to check my Facebook feed here, it'll just take a minute. And then two hours later, I'm still there. It's like, you know what, I'm just going to take 15 minutes with my wife. And then you Lo and behold, two hours later, I'm still there, I'm going to take 15 minutes to make this really important move in my business. And then two hours later, it's like, oh, and then I finally built that website I've been talking about for three months. That's what it looks like is little actions. And because, again, if we're waiting for the feeling to show up, before we act, we actually have it backward, we want to act. And then if crazy enough, the feeling shows that we act, we get a result. And the result either moves us toward our goal, or it doesn't, which gives us feedback. We're like, Oh, don't make phone calls like that. Right? Oh, don't, you know, don't do that marketing scheme, like, great, we got some feedback. We have a feeling that goes along with that, and we get back in action.
Justin Stoddart 14:20
I think that's brilliant.
Josh Friberg 14:20
When people try and get the feeling first act first,
just do something.
Justin Stoddart 14:23
All of us, right? I think that's why most people are mediocre at a lot of things, right? Is it like, I'll be a good dad, like, I'll go play catch with my kid when I feel like it. You know, and the reality is like, childhood goes really fast. And if you talk to grandpas, if they have one regret, it's you know, I wish I would have spent more time. Less time, you know, maybe in front of the TV and more time out playing catch with my kid, you know, the same thing in business, right? I think there are so many lives that are that what you taught right there, that's the only thing that's keeping them from mediocre, or from good to great is the ability to make a decision and act even when they don't feel like it, especially when they don't feel like it because that's what separates you. Right? That's why Yeah, that's the difference between most producers. And most parents, and great parents, that's the difference between most producers and great producers, is that they just do the activities consistently enough, you and I have probably both read the compound effect by Darren Hardy, right? You know, and compound interest is the same concept as you start early, and it's a consistent deposit. And if you take away the consistency, it kills it. And the same thing with lead generation. That's why I see so many real estate agents jumping from this tactic to this tactic to this tactic to this tactic, because they're assuming that that doesn't work for them. And they didn't like that one, or they didn't get the results. They never actually employed the power of the compound effect because they didn't do it consistently enough. Because they were relying upon when I feel like doing it, I'll do it, which is never consistently enough to actually get the results. So then they jumped to something now so the grass got to be greener, this has got to be it. This is going to be the tack that this is going to save my business.
Josh Friberg 16:05
And what people forget about the compound effect too is when you look at the compound effect from the outside, it looks like this.
It's just this like really
straight, really exciting line. The then suddenly takes off, right? This is why, like you'll consistently hear like musicians and artists say yeah, it only took me 20 years to become an overnight success. The harder part is that from the inside, you're looking at the competition, and the competition seems to be going up like this. And they may be they may be going up on this like straight trajectory. While you're going up, you're going like this, because you're building your building your building, and then surpass them at the finish line, right? It's just, it's the craziest thing. Because you have to just keep doing it every day, every day, every day. And I love like the business plan that you sketched out in 12 seconds a little bit ago, is a brilliantly simple business plan that agents done consistently, will, I mean will make an amazing lifestyle for people and amazing lifestyle for people done inconsistently you will go broke, you will lose your family, you will lose your health. Like it just won't work.
Justin Stoddart 17:20
Yeah. As with anything, right? I mean, even exercise and nutrition, all of those things. Anything great in life depends upon even talk to people like Steve Jobs that, you know, literally transforms like the world in which we live. And they talk about how it's not as sexy as an Apple keynote presentation. Right? That's our that's the unveiling. But there's, there's, you know, day hours and days and weeks and months and years of pretty monotonous, mundane work, you know, with an occasional super exciting thing. But that great success. If you look back and read biographies of the people that have had the great impact whether at home, or even, you know, in business, it comes down to very simple practices done consistently over time, repeatedly, repeatedly, repeatedly.
Josh Friberg 18:11
Yeah. Well, not to like, you know, to like kick down the fourth wall or anything but like to think bigger, our real estate show, right? You made that commitment at the beginning of this year, because you'd been doing it like, at a certain level last year. And then you said hey, you know what, I'm going to change the model this year. I'm going to do it every day, five days a week. 845 like, this is my interview. And holy cow like, here we are four months in fight, you know, starting on the fifth month in and people are going Justin man what's going on with think bigger real estate show. But I imagine in February, there were days where it was like, nobody's watching. But I'm doing it. It's Tuesday. And I'm doing it. And it's the next Tuesday and I'm doing it and nobody's right. And now people are like, people really talking about this already, you know, after months, and I can only imagine what this looks like after a couple years. Right? And you know, even the end of this year.
Justin Stoddart 19:04
Yeah.
Yeah, no, it's Yeah, there's absolutely and if you
Josh Friberg 19:10
don't mind share with folks. Lee.
Justin Stoddart 19:14
Yeah, that's a great point. Great example. And it's, it's, it does get easier over time, right. Like the first little while is where most people turn back where it's like, this is too hard. It's too much. I can't do this every day. Whether it be you know, what I'm doing or whether it be you know, what a real estate agent does the other day, if there's gotta be some consistency. And if you do, like the prizes, great, like, the reward is great, but you gotta pay the price. So any other tips? Josh, before we kind of wrap up for being a great parent, and a great agent, any kind of last things that we didn't cover that you want to hit on? Or do you feel like that's enough for today?
Josh Friberg 19:54
I think we hit on that the other thing, so we talked a lot of tactical, right, that's actually usually the second steps to talk tactical. The other piece to do is, is that I would say, to take time to really understand what your greatest contribution is, right? The reality is, is that the work that we do matters and the lives that we live matter. And when we take the time to really think about that, and say like, only you can be a parent to your kids, only you get to be a spouse to your spouse, only you get to be the owner operator of the body that you live in. Right? Right. And only you get to provide the unique value, the unique value that you provide to your real estate clients. So to take actually take a half an hour, this afternoon. And to, to start to write that out, like what why is the world a better place? Because I'm here? Why is it important for me to be a great parent? You know, I was talking to this one of our one of my clients in Tennessee, and I said, Why? You know, I'd be a mom, who cares, right? I was being sarcastic. She came in and she said, she said, Josh, I am raising the future citizens of this country. She's like, I am raising the people who are going to be running for office, or at least voting for the people that are in office. And they are going to be making contributions to their community. It is vital that I nailed this as a parent. And I was like, Yeah, I was struck by that.
And say, so why, like, tell me why it's important for you to be a parent and understanding that now all of a sudden, playing soccer in the backyard is about raising it is about the future of the nation, right. Like that's, that's amazing. And so then to be able to say, okay, you know, what, actually, this stuff matters, to say, hey, I need to make sure that I am in good enough physical shape to dance at my daughter's wedding. 20 years from now, all of a sudden changes whether or not I put on my tennis shoes today.
Justin Stoddart 21:55
Yeah, that's powerful. Right.
Josh Friberg 21:57
And that's the decision by the way that we're making. We're often stuck making the decision between, you know, nachos on the couch in front of the TV and the running shoes, when what we should be doing is, is Wayne nachos on the couch in front of the TV with dancing her daughter's wedding.
Justin Stoddart 22:17
But that's a different conversation.
Yeah, because it's not just some pretty good until you compare it against. This will prohibit me if compounded over time. This will be a pivot me from being active enough to dance at my daughter's wedding, nachos or dance his wedding? That's an easier decision.
Josh Friberg 22:36
Right?
Justin Stoddart 22:38
That's powerful, man. Great stuff. Last question here. As we wrap up, Josh, for do to expand your own possibilities to think bigger, give the audience today, a tip, something that they can do that that that you found, really helps you to think bigger on a consistent basis.
Josh Friberg 22:56
Wow, what something that I do? Make sure I think bigger on a consistent basis. I think
the two biggest things that I do in that space Justin First of all, is hanging out with people that think bigger than me. Like literally just hang out with people that think bigger than me. And the second is, is that I dream? Like it's sort of a hobby of mine is that I just like fantasize. So all that talk I did about being present, is that I spend at least some time in the future. What would and I've talked with you about this, what would it look like for my family to move and live in Belize? And then talk about what would it look like for us to buy an RV and live for a year in an RV or to become snowbirds in our four days? Right? Like why not? Is I dream on with zero? Like, yeah, but that couldn't happen or no, like, just No, no, that's off the table as to the how, and just go for it. And that's how I do the same in our business right? Is what would it look like to be a million dollar business? What would it look like to be a $10 million business? break open a spreadsheet and figure out what is the business plan be? Now I'll tell you that nine times out of 100 I get done and I go, Oh, I'm unwilling to commit to the activities to make that a possibility. But I did think bigger while I was doing it.
Justin Stoddart 24:27
And it probably made it so whatever activities you were you had committed for the day, it seemed a lot easier. Right see a lot more.
Josh Friberg 24:35
Right.
Here, here's how big I didn't use the activities I am willing to commit to I
along the way.
Justin Stoddart 24:45
Great stuff, man. Always great stuff when I get a chance to talk with you. Thank you again so much, Josh for pouring tons of value into the think bigger real estate audience I'm gonna put up here on the screen and where you can get a hold of Josh. Josh is a fantastic speaker. If you've enjoyed anything that he's said here today, you haven't seen anything yet. You put him in front of a crowd, he has this, this amazing ability to tell a story and we've principles in that keep your attention and get you really engaged in the topic at hand. So your real estate speaker calm, he's actually launching his brand, the abundant agent, so that site will be coming soon. But if you keep this website here, this will always be redirected to his actual site. Your real estate speaker calm. Go find Josh, if you're looking for a great keynote if you're looking for somebody who can be you know, a great coach when it comes to individual coaches or group coaching. He's a fantastic resource, I would highly recommend him to anybody. So thank you again, Josh, for all that you do for people for the industry that you and I both serve, and for the world for just being a great person.
Josh Friberg 25:46
All right, thank you, Justin, thanks so much for the time. Appreciate it.
Creators and Guests
Host
Justin Stoddart
What is Think Bigger Real Estate?
The road to success for real estate agents is well-marked. The road to significance is not. Here, we help you to Think Bigger than just your business. We inspire you to seek success AND significance, income AND impact. We do that by interviewing the biggest thinkers and highest achievers in the real estate industry, extracting the secrets to having it all.