[Music]
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
New word!
A-R-T-I-S-T
Bells Bullshit Artist!
Hello and welcome to the Bullshit Artist! We decided to drop bromance because it's too hard to say and it becomes a tongue twister.
I am your somewhat host, Court, or just the guy that got roped into introducing this particular episode.
And with me as always is my bromance and fellow Bullshit Artist, Boz. How are you, sir?
I am fine. And I am a Bullshit Artist!
Bullshit Artist!
You're a Bullshit Artist!
We probably shouldn't do that every week because people get really tired of it. But it's still funny.
Every episode, that's all we do for like five minutes and then people click out immediately.
Hey, as long as they download it, I'm good.
Yeah, I mean, it depends how much they relate it to that film as well because my wife fucking hates that movie!
I'm still like, I'm still weird about it. I don't know how I feel about it because it was just so like offensive and annoying and irritating.
Yet I couldn't stop thinking about it.
So like, I think I enjoyed it, but I think I enjoyed how angry it made me that I was watching it.
And I couldn't shut it off.
It's the soundtrack. I love the soundtrack. I play that at any opportunity. I just adore it.
And LaVinia just, she didn't fall asleep because she was tired. She fell asleep in protest.
You know, my brain does that sometimes. For instance, it took me five sittings to watch all of Birdemic because my brain shut my body off.
And I just would spontaneously pass out midway through it because of how angry it was making me.
There's like, maybe two or three handfuls of like movies that have been like that where it's just so bad, my brain shuts me down and goes, "No, sleep. You are not doing this to us."
Do you know the first film I could probably tar with that particular brush? It's actually the usual suspects.
No shit!
It took me five attempts to get through that movie. I don't know why. There's nothing wrong with it. It's a good movie, but I just kept fucking falling asleep. Just so odd.
Yeah, that is odd. I mean, there's some movies that I pick that I find very comforting and they lull me to sleep almost like, you know, being read a story.
But that doesn't mean I dislike the film. A good example of that is "There Will Be Blood."
I love watching that film to fall asleep. And I think it has a lot to do with the scenery and just the story overall and the performance, the music as well.
And there's just something about it. And you wouldn't think a film like that would something that falls me to sleep or offers me comfort, but it totally does for some weird reason.
I don't know. Mostly because I think I may be Daniel Plainview.
I mean, mine may be Bloodsport. I don't know.
That is probably Jean-Claude Van Damme's finest film.
Oh, it is. I'll hear no argument to that.
Yeah, any of the stuff he does that's based partially or completely on Frank Dukes' life is actually pretty decent.
He did like at least two that I can think of. The other one was "The Quest."
And while some of the parts of the story at the very beginning are ridiculous, once they get to the tourney, that movie is actually decent too.
I haven't seen that one. Weirdly. I don't know how I missed that.
Yeah, he's like some kind of like 18th century French wave guy that's like in charge of a bunch of orphans and they're collecting money during the Depression or something.
I don't know. But anyway, he gets roped into...
How's that Frank Dukes?
I don't know. It's really weird. But once they get to the tournament stuff, it's more like a Frank Dukes-based style story.
Kickboxer, "The Quest" that I was talking about and then the one with the Kumite, that's kickboxer, right?
No, that's Bloodsport.
Bloodsport. Those three are his best films. But I think kickboxer out of all of them is probably the best because of the Muay Thai shit.
But the Kumite fighting is really fucking good too.
Because I like the mix of styles. It was weird because in those days when I was into martial arts, MMA wasn't really a thing.
So I loved all the distinctive styles. I had this person is this style and this person is this style and they're going to fight and you see how the two styles go against each other.
And of course, now we realize the effectiveness of mixing these things together and it's become something else.
Because each particular discipline has their own strengths that are really well defined depending upon your style, grapple, kick, punch, whatever it may be.
You learn boxing for the punching, you learn Muay Thai for the kicking and knees and that kind of stuff.
A Keto for the throws and stuff and that.
Judo for the grappling and joint locks, I would say probably.
And Wen Cheng for being really up close and personal, which is probably my favorite.
Well, I also practice the American style of Kung Fu, which is to pull a gun and immediately blast away at everything around you.
Yeah, I mean, in the British Isles, we don't really have that many options of the Scottish have got it nailed really with their lesser known art of "Fuck you".
Which just...
Oh, it's headbutting and kicking while on the ground.
Basically, yeah. And I, yes, I did steal that from Mike Myers, I think.
Yeah, it's actually my favorite Mike Myers film that you stole that from.
So I married an axe murderer. Yeah.
Is that in that film?
Yeah.
You see, I should know that because I always complain at LaVinia that she doesn't know that film backwards enough.
Because that is one of... that's in my top five films of all time.
Oh, I absolutely love it. That was the... whenever he started falling in love with Harriet,
I totally got it. Like, you know, like I was like, I totally see what he sees in her and I have no problem with that.
And like, it's one of the like rom-com movies that actually really works for me.
And it really has very little to do with his character himself.
It's just one of those things where like I completely see how terrified of relationships she actually is because of what her sister has done to her through her whole life.
Yeah.
Spoiler alerts for how old that fucking movie is.
So many people don't know it and it's this travesty.
It's like, it's one of the all time classics and much as I fucking love Michael Myers accent as Shrek,
I think his Scottish accent for that is awful.
I don't know what it is about it, but it just rubs me up the wrong way entirely.
Him playing his own father in that movie, I didn't realize for the longest time it was him because I'm stupid and I don't read the credits.
But the day I realized it was him, I was like, oh my God, that's amazing.
Because it just, I was a completely different guy.
And then I just loved it more.
Yeah, I would say that if I were of Scottish descent, I would be extremely offended by everything Mike Myers does accent wise.
Because it's like the equivalent of, we were talking about this in the last episode, but of like a high school bully that just goes nanny nanny boo boo making fun of your voice and repeating back.
You know, like, oh, I'm the dumbest idiot ever.
You know, kind of think you can use that as a clip drop if you want.
Oh yeah, I'm stuck collecting those.
That's your shtick.
But I didn't find like him playing his dad's actually pretty bob on.
Like the Scottish of his Scottishness of it, I was just endearing and his whole rant about, I'm not kidding.
That boy's head's like an orange on a toothpick.
You know, all that like spotniks for your goal was quite pointy at parts.
Yeah.
And I was like, dad, how could you hate the Colonel?
Because he puts a secret dictum ingredient in his chicken that makes you crave it twice for nightly.
Love loans like that.
Yeah, it is quite an excellent film.
And like I said, it's definitely my favorite and it's probably the best work that he's ever done because that's when he's kind of gave a fuck.
I don't know what happened to him. He was there's a lot of squandered potential going forward from there.
But my friend Ralph, he was obviously laugh because he changed his name to his like an earlier family name because he's a descendant Scotland.
And but he was raised in Blackpool or not blackburn, sorry.
As far as I was good, he hadn't actually been to Scotland that many times, but like clung onto his Scottish heritage heritage was such pride.
And so when he got married, all of his groomsmen had to wear kilts and I got I dodged a bullet because I was the videographers.
I'm not wearing a fucking kill off and running around the video camera.
But I did dare him just after the vows are done in the church to just turn around to the auditorium to the to the crowds and just go, let's get past.
He didn't do that.
We got a pipe down.
He had a pipe down.
He didn't do that.
But what he did do is this was in a church of England church, one of the big expensive places in a major city.
And as they were walking out, I'm following up the aisle just as they get to the door of the church.
He's now wife grabs the back of his kill lifts it up and he's got a tight pair of white boxer shorts on this has just married stamped on his ass.
Awesome.
I was like, I wanted to applaud, but I would have dropped the camera.
But yeah, I'll take that instead.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, I don't really have an issue myself with ever having to wear a kilt like for a wedding or any kind of like formal event like that.
But out of respect for the heritage of the Scottish, I wouldn't wear one just to wear one though.
I mean, I'd say he's accepted me into his clan for a day.
I suppose that's all right.
But I kind of agree.
I don't have a tartan.
I don't have the heritage.
So yeah, it doesn't really feel right.
Yeah.
And like I wouldn't wear an Indian headdress unless I were part of a ceremony and it was something that were required from a friend or a loved one or something like that that had cultural significance and it needed to be that way because I feel it's almost like a sign of disrespect.
I mean, like, you know, like they talk about what cultural appropriation when you wear kimonos and things like that as well.
And yeah, you know, it's just it's not something that I don't think we've ever really thought of before in the history of mankind.
And now it's something that like when you think about it, it's just totally like, holy shit, how did we not realize this before?
You know, I mean, I can only assume the Scottish are cool with it as a as a thing because it's it's good for the, you know, cultural recognition for them and so on.
And their traditions carried on.
I mean, I would imagine if you're going to do it, you would have to you'd have to adhere to there's very serious rules on how it has to fit.
You know what the measurements are and all of that kind of stuff.
And I would imagine if you were to adhere to that and we're actually trying to adopt that as part of your new cultural heritage or whatever that you wanted to identify with, maybe it would be less offensive.
But at some point, you really are just appropriating a heritage that you may not even belong to, you know, I mean, like, I'm of various types of descent, most of it Norwegian for the most part, you wouldn't be able to tell that by looking at me at all.
Well, this is the beard.
I was being facetious.
I very much look like my cultural heritage.
You know, and like my both my mother and my sister had been gotten the 23 and me genetic testing thing to kind of see, you know, where their stuff lands and most of most of what we are even genetically is like the that Scandinavian Norse, you know, those those Nordic type countries and like some of the Saxon stuff to where, you know, it in.
Mixes in from the various raids and things like that where everybody has a little bit of Viking in them, if you know what I'm saying.
Oh, yeah.
I got the berserk a rage, particularly.
Right.
So, you know, like that kind of thing.
And I, I didn't really know growing up what cultural heritage I even had.
So I would always pine for anything, you know, like something to kind of glom onto other than Rednecki mountain folk that I was raised around, you know, because it wasn't.
I just like I never felt like I belonged in any of that and I never really did, you know.
So finding some of that stuff out and like learning some of my heritage for that kind of stuff has always been interesting for me.
But at the same time, that cultural heritage that I have for Nordic Viking Scandinavian, whatever it may be the various mixes, even a little bit of finish, I think I have, which are all sort of the same peoples anyway.
They're all sailing around in those areas and, you know, walking over the ice to get there.
But like all of that, you know, whatever boils down to like a Viking heritage has been usurped by like neo-nazis and white supremacists and like I want it back.
You can't have my pagan stuff.
Yeah.
Fuck off assholes, you know, if you grab a hatchet and go after it.
Like fucking all of us that, you know, like the history for my folk is like we literally would take anybody in and you could become part of it as long as you became a valued member of society, you know, like it was it was more of a philosophy in a way of life, you know, and yes, they did some horrendous things and yes, they took slaves, but everyone did, you know, it wasn't it wasn't like your color of skin with that with like that type of belief for the Vikings.
It was we beat you in battle and now you're ours.
They didn't care where you came from as long as they got you, you were a slave and then property, you know, it wasn't it wasn't based on anything like that.
So like there's really no basis on that other than there was some weird drug fueled meth binge that made Hitler's folks decide that, you know, that was the right people to base their shit on and fuck that.
Yes.
But I'll be I'll go back to Scottish. So I think I'm not aware of anyone doing the kilt thing without having just a generational to back Scottish link in the family at least, you know, so like in my friend's case, it's his grandfather.
So and it was his grandfather's name that he's taken and changed his name to and you know, that's fine.
I mean, I'd be proud of that.
That's cool.
So I think it's all right.
I've never heard about a problem with it, but kilt's weddings are a popular thing.
And obviously if you wear a kilt without a tartan, that's fine.
Like Timo's got a very nice black kilt that he wears occasionally.
Yeah, being finished.
That's a thing.
I don't know.
It seems simple.
Well, and OK, yeah, now if now we're talking like just a kilt as in a kilt for a man to wear that that I don't believe is solely and only Scottish because that type of wrap around the, you know, others of a person that could have just basically spawn from loincloth and various
things like that that we've had into full fabric and you have that type of fabric wrap around that goes back to Roman times, you know.
Yeah, I mean, the kilt's a specific style of that skirt, though.
It's pleated in a certain way and it wraps in a certain way.
So it's very definitely a kilt.
Right.
So it isn't not a kilt, but a tartan kilt is you're only supposed to wear that if it is your family's tartan.
So if you see someone running around in a tartan kilt and they have no family lineage, that is effectively cultural appropriation and not cricket.
OK, so like a solid color kilt.
Like if I took a pair of cargo pants, cut them out in the middle and then stitched them together and then did some things to pleat them to make it look sort of like a kilt but kept the cargo.
That would be relatively OK and not necessarily cultural appropriation because it's a cut of fabric and not trying to emulate or steal from an actual family line of tartan is what you're saying.
Yeah.
And actually, I saw I thought it was like a Muslim line wearing kilt or somebody had created a tartan for somebody.
Oh, yeah, they were of recent news.
Yeah, I did see that it was like they're of mixed descent where it's something that is like a Muslim background and then another part that's like Scottish.
So they created their own specific tartan or they had that spun off from their other clan like you would do or whatever the traditions are from the Scottish side of the heritage.
I remember seeing that.
I know what you're talking about there.
Yeah, so I've dug it up.
This is what I saw.
It says Scotland's Islamic tartan is going viral.
But why now?
It's a tartan that represents the five pillars of Islam, the six articles of faith for Holy Ka'ba and Scotland in its design.
It was released in 2012, actually, modeled on the grand staircase of Glasgow City Chambers.
Majority of the interest comes following a tweet by Canadian human rights activists, Laura Moorlock, in her post.
She outlines the details of the tartan and what they signify while the post has rejuvenated interest in the tartan.
It's not a new thing.
Oh, there you go.
In fact, the tartan was announced in 2012.
How they get to do this is my question.
So on his website explains the design, writing, "The theological explanation of the design is as follows.
Blue represents a Scottish flag.
Green represents the colour of Islam.
Five white lines running through the pattern represent the five pillars of Islam.
Six gold lines represent the six articles of faith.
The black square represents the Holy Ka'ba."
I'm probably pronouncing wrong, even though I was trying to learn some Arabic today.
So anyway, I'll get onto that later.
It also says, "The Scottish Islamic tartan weaves together the five that's the different strands of Scottish and Muslim heritage creating a fabric for the future.
The tartan was developed in collaboration with the leading Islamic scholars around the world.
At the time of 2012 release, Ibrahim wrote a Huffington Post link, think piece, about the significance of the tartan.
He also featured in the shoot, "Modeling the New Tartan" in 2012.
I think that's pretty cool.
So for any listeners that may not know what a tartan is and then also so that I can pretend like I actually knew all along, can you explain it for our audience?
A tartan is always a squared pattern and it's a checkered pattern of different colours.
And then there are like highlight lines also in a squared pattern over the top of it, which is what creates the look of the tartan.
So I don't know enough about it to sort of, I know people who could look at it and like the McGregor tartan, you can sort of look at and go, oh, that's, you know, that's this person or whatever.
So it's based on, is it a clan, which would be like almost like a family line, right?
Yeah, basically, yeah.
Like the family name or whatever.
And so our family name and clans are basically the same thing. So it would be like a line of heritage for a family and it's specific.
What happens for the offspring of two separate clans whenever they come together? Do they get their own line?
I have no idea.
So that's an excellent thing for any listener that would like to, you know, get back to us on this.
Hopefully we'll have one or two actual Scots that can tell us what's going on with this.
Yeah, I'm certainly going to point it at my friends direction once it's out as well.
So there's another tartan on this article, actually, and it's a very different pattern.
So you've got sort of a red and blue checker in the background, but very strong, wider white lines running over the top of that.
And then like a strong, bold, thinner white line making a larger grid pattern over the top of that.
So it's always quadrants and squares and sort of different depths or layers almost of the patterning.
So that's just maybe you want to nerd out a little bit about that and look into it further.
But I know it seems something cool about like a sort of a mingling of something new for tartan.
Yeah, that was it. But that's a weird segue because I'm going to Dubai in October.
And the way it's worked out is really weird.
So we booked our holiday for October because we managed to get really cheap flights.
So we arranged a holiday to Khorfu because my job is insane in the summer.
So we're like, right, we're going to get a Khorfu beginning of October.
It's our fifth wedding anniversary ties it all together nicely. This will be great.
Then my wife goes wins an award at work. A very prestigious award at work, which is all expenses paid.
Yeah, I mean, good honor and everything, but timing is not the best because obviously everybody's worried about Brexit.
They have crowbarred this trip in kind of a short notice because like, yeah, we've got to get them out there before the 31st of October.
In case I can't come back.
Fucking Brexit. So we're not getting political.
So basically how it's worked out and it's kind of lucky, I suppose, but basically we fly out for a week to Khorfu.
Come back on the Sunday. I'm going to work on the Monday.
And then on Tuesday, I fly to Dubai for another seven days.
So that is okay.
Okay. Being being flown to Dubai for an all expense paid trip.
Obviously your wife kicks mega ass to be given that type of reward.
Yes, she doesn't believe that, but it is the case. Yeah.
Okay, look, there is gigantic external evidence to point to the fact of her badassery that is irrefutable and undeniable.
So her saying that that's not necessarily the case and being able to play it down like, oh, it's not a big deal is what it's making you.
You're making it sound like seems to me that that's another level of badassery where you're so fucking badass.
You don't even have to tell other people about it.
It's like the quiet, cool kind of way of being asked badass where like, you know, like outlaw Josie Wales kind of thing where like Clint Eastwood's on screen and he doesn't even say anything.
But the whole entire like the whole entire like wild world around him gets quiet for a moment just because he popped up on screen.
Like it's that level of badass is something like that.
And like she was saying like, because originally it was going to be 25 people, are they up to 27?
And she's like, yeah, I'm probably like number 27 and they just it was like a pity vote or something.
And they probably weren't going to select me.
I'm like, shut up, own it. You deserve it. That's why you've been chosen.
Before we got together seven years ago now, pushing eight probably for the second time.
Because obviously we first went out when we were 16.
I'm not going to bore everybody with that story here.
When we did get back in touch, I was the most untraveled person you have ever met.
I had basically been to the south of Spain once when I was about 15 and went to one of those awful resorts that's just full of British people getting pissed.
And all I saw for two weeks was drunk British people and then came home.
I didn't even hear any Spanish and I was in fucking near Malaga, you know.
So yeah, which is like, I'll come to Spain and see me.
I was like, I don't really like Spain.
He's like, yeah, Spain's fucking huge.
And I'd been to one part of it and like Catalonia is northern Spain.
It's beautiful.
It looks like England in so many ways in certain seasons, rolling green hills and trees.
Just phenomenal.
I didn't know any of this.
I didn't even have a passport.
So we had to get me a passport sorted so I could go out there.
So basically, since we've been together, like I've traveled more than I have in my entire life.
We've ridden a motorcycle to Switzerland.
We've been here in there, but it's still not been that wide ranging.
She's, she's ridden and been on a bike to the other side of Turkey.
She's been to Nord Cap, the most northern point in Europe.
She's been through pretty much every Eastern European country you can think of on a motorcycle.
I've not done any of that.
So been to France a lot, been to Spain a lot.
Germany, Belgium, whatever, just riding through.
No offense, but I'm kind of crushing on your wife for her awesomeness right now.
Yeah.
She's a really badass.
So let's go somewhere different.
So we're going to try Corfu.
Now the thing, because I was completely untraveled and I was like, I don't really, I'm a British boy.
I holiday here.
I didn't know any other languages.
I'd lost all my French.
Going to Spain and then learning some Spanish for when I'm there and being able to communicate a bit with locals.
I just, I've, language has become so important to me.
And whenever we went somewhere else, like if I go to France, I brush up on my French before I go.
I'm shit at it and I really don't use as much as I should, but I try more than the people I'm with generally.
I tried the same in Germany.
Again, not confident enough to use any of it, but at least hello.
Goodbye.
Thank you.
Please.
I want to learn those basics.
So today I'm like, shit, I'm running out of time.
So I'm going to try and learn some Arabic.
You can't do that from an audio podcast.
Fucking hell.
I tried several shows.
I'm trying to get some of this down.
Now, LaVinia actually knows basic Arabic anyway.
So I'll latch onto the thing of her being my translator, which is what I always do because she speaks conversational French.
So when we go to France, it's fine.
I was having a really bad day today.
I was like, I can't concentrate on this.
It's far too difficult.
I've clearly got to sit down and study it.
So I know we're going to Corfu.
I'm going to learn a bit of Greek.
So I'd like the hello.
Goodbye.
I turn on this podcast about learning Greek and they're like, yeah, this is the most ancient language.
Everybody's alphabet comes from this, but it's completely different.
It's not Latin and I was like, shit, it's different from the Latin languages.
That's me screwed.
The first two episodes of this podcast, they didn't teach us any words.
What they did was talked about how the language works and then said it's one of the hardest languages in the world to learn.
So I attempt to try and get ahead of the thing a little bit and learn some of the words.
It's like, yeah, I'm going to have to put a lot more effort in and just listen to a couple of podcasts this time.
Have you ever tried something like a Rosetta Stone, which is supposed to be geared on how you would learn a language from being a child?
I haven't.
No, because they cost money.
I get that.
Well, I had a buddy who he's a he's a fellow programmer and he was looking to do some code breaking stuff or something like that or was in line to be doing something like that for the government.
And it was in the times when everybody had the fever for 9/11 revenge, even though they were trying to make it sound like they were just trying to make it safe.
Again, it was all about the revenge.
And he was attempting to learn Arabic and various dialects at the right or, you know, like the various variations of the language.
I think, yeah, so various dialects of Arabic and things like that.
Yeah, it's a very widely spoken language in a lot of countries.
There's a lot of variations.
Right.
And so he was using a Rosetta Stone and it was actually making pretty decent headway, but still was quite frustrated.
And I'm not sure how he got a hold of that Rosetta Stone.
He probably pulled the trigger on buying it.
Yeah.
But there are ways to get a hold of Rosetta Stone that you don't have to necessarily pay a lot for.
I'm sure.
Yeah, I mean, I depend how serious I have.
I mean, I started listening to podcasts from there just to get an idea of what to expect when I go because I don't like going somewhere just being an ignorant tourist.
I really can't do that.
So I listened to a couple of people who did like a travel vlog and been there and, you know, their experiences and where to go and what to do.
And it does sound pretty cool, but it just sounds like everybody speaks English and all the podcasts that they're all British people doing these podcasts and radio shows and everything else.
It just seems right for some like.
But I still want to be able to do the, you know, the right greetings and everything else when I get there.
So and it's sort of a family thing now because that's what I didn't say.
LaVinia went to school out there.
OK, so after this trip that her work is paying for, we're staying on a couple of extra days because her sister lives there.
Has done for quite a few years and she's been nagging us to go anyway.
So this is all kind of falling into place quite nicely.
But she went to school about an hour away from Dubai.
Her parents moved her out there when she was eight and it was an international school.
So that's where she learned English, which is why she speaks better English than most people I know.
Including me, who has been learning of it his entire life.
And it's pretty much soul language.
I know enough Spanish to get myself shot and or beat up.
Yeah, yeah, she corrects me enough.
So one of the things we're going to do is just jump in the car and go down and go to the old town where she went to school.
So she did the memory lane things that'd be really cool for her.
Wow. So this is actually like almost like a nostalgic trip on top of it, which makes it all that much more rewarding for this neat little award that she got.
This is very cool.
It's very cool. Yeah.
And what's also very cool is for a couple of the things because it is a work thing.
They're like, right, there's going to be a couple of work meetings for the people from the company with us.
So the spouses for one of the meetings, they said, we'll pay for a spa treatment for your spouse.
Like, get in.
Oh, by the way, it's a seven star hotel.
I mentioned that.
So I'm looking forward to that deep tissue massage.
Thank you very much.
Seven star hotel.
Seven star.
Yeah.
That's a thing apparently.
Okay.
So if it's a seven star hotel and you're going to get a deep tissue massage, what's the over and under that you're going to also get a big finish at the end there?
I don't know.
No, no.
God, no.
Look, I'm American.
That's how we look at massages, whether or not there's a nice finish at the end or the happy finish or whatever they call it.
Because if that doesn't exist, that's not actually a massage.
Maybe you shouldn't go to this place.
I'll tell you, I'll tell you all when I come back, it's going to be an amazing experience.
And there's some stuff that they've got planned.
They're not telling us.
And one of the more, let's, let's go to a foreign country I've never been to before and do things that I'm not even going to know what it's going to happen.
But it's going to be a pleasant surprise.
They made a movie called Hostel about stuff like that.
I know.
Hey, I'll be up for that.
So you'd be up for being tortured relentlessly to death.
Cool.
Maybe.
I'm open minded.
But apparently one of the things people do a lot is skydive tandem skydive over the palm, which is the island that they built and then put hotels on.
This hotel was staying is on one of the palm fronds into the bay there.
But apparently loads of people skydive into that.
There is a zipline that goes 80 kilometers per hour.
And I'm like, I hope we're doing that.
That would be awesome.
Sign me right up for that one.
All the stuff you said, there's a whole bunch of nope for me.
I will get to the skydive thing.
I've got to do that in two months time anyway.
So, so go on these activities and whatever.
And then there's another meeting, I think on the Friday morning, they're like, well, you could just use the facilities, hang out by the pool, get the gym, whatever, why we have this meeting.
And her sister said, no, I'm coming to get him.
And she's going to pick me up in her car and we're driving out into the sand dunes and we're just going to jump her four by four over sand dunes for a morning.
I think.
Oh, wow.
Because that's one of her hobbies.
He just fucks off into the desert and tries to go up the side of a sand dune and not take a foot off the throttle when she hits the top.
Yeah, we're a family of petrolheads.
It's a thing.
Yeah, that sounds like adrenaline junkies, more or less, but mostly by motor vehicle.
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
Awesome.
But one of like, so they sent this, the itinerary that is there, they sent us and then they give this pile of paper.
I'm like, what the hell is all that?
And it's just pages and pages of pictures of clothing.
And it's like, yeah, I've got to buy an entirely new wardrobe.
It's like, this is what you should wear by the pool.
This is what you should wear for casual lunch.
This is what you should wear for smart dinner.
This is what you should wear for golf.
This is what it's like.
Oh, God.
And it's like, so their poolside has a dress code.
I think it's the company doesn't want you embarrassing the company who's putting on this lavish thing.
They don't because they trust their employees, but they've got no idea who the fuck us spouses are basically.
Right.
So this is the sort of thing my wife should never win because you know how I react to being told how to dress.
I'm thinking it's just like, yeah, spouses could be metalhead bikers with, you know, bad language.
And yeah, let the side down slightly.
So there's one of these things that you have a choice.
In this particular time slot, you can either go on a boat cruise around the bay or you can go and play golf with the CEO of the multinational corporation.
I'm like, boat please.
Keep me as far away from the company so I do not fuck up my wife's future.
Exactly.
I do not want to jeopardize her career.
So I'm so fucking nervous about this because I'm just like, oh, my best behavior.
I just feel like people say, what do you do for a living?
I'll go, I'm a yoga instructor.
Then they just won't want to talk to me.
I do a very specialized form of yoga as instruction.
See, that's the thing about my career.
All I have to do is tell people that I'm a software developer and then they'll say something like, oh, like this, this and this.
And I'll go, no, I write banking software.
They immediately don't want to talk to me about my career anymore.
Do you say I'm a world famous podcaster?
That's what you should open with.
I maybe you like my stuff.
So I guess I'm world famous.
Exactly.
I could take internationally famous.
How about that?
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah.
All you need is a listener on a different landmass.
You qualify.
That's it.
I suppose the only place it's slightly bullshit is you can't call it a profession because professionals get paid.
Yeah.
I could just say that I am a podcaster with international acclaim.
That's using words good.
You know what's really funny is like when I talk about my regular show, I'm always like downplaying it and I'm always trying to talk people out of listening to it.
Well, give that a shit you say on that sometimes.
I'm not surprised.
Right.
Well, my wife is automatically like, you know, like when we were away on our most recent recreation of our honeymoon vacation trip where we went back to Niagara Falls and such, the bed and breakfast that we were staying at was like a, it was just outside.
It was like Niagara on the lake.
And there were a bunch of ladies that were very, very well spoken, very highly educated.
They were all involved in the theater and they came to Niagara on the lake for like the a certain showing of this particular theatrical season that happens in Niagara on the lake because I guess that's one of the cultural centers for this like amazing theater that they have there.
And so like it was like everybody else in the bed and breakfast that was staying there was there for like that taking in that particular thing over this this weekend of like this particular play and everything like that.
And there's like a couple of different places.
Well, they're all very well spoken.
They're very cultured, very intelligent women and gentlemen.
And my wife mentions that I do a podcast to them like, you know, during one of our little brunches at the bed and breakfast kind of thing.
And they all immediately get interested in it because mostly all I've really talked about is, you know, asking them questions about them.
Because now I'm not fucking interesting.
I'm a software developer.
The rights banking software.
Nobody cares about that.
And the minute they get something like that to kind of glom onto like, oh, you do creative things too.
Okay.
You know, and I'm like, oh, I don't I don't know if you guys would like it.
And then they immediately like get their interest peaked more because I'm like, oh fuck, what am I doing?
And they're like, well, why not?
I'm like, well, we kind of are like American shock jock radio from like the late 90s.
You know, where we just kind of say whatever shit comes to our mind and we don't think about it and we don't have to censor ourselves because we're a podcast and it's a movie review.
It's a movie review show.
So we talk about whatever movies and it's kind of based on, you know, finding things that may be psychologically damaging or, you know, like, it's an indictment of, you know, where is where is the line for art and exploitation and, you know, as I'm describing it more and more, they're becoming more and more fascinated and interested.
And I'm like, no, seriously, I don't I don't think you guys would like it.
It's really kind of vile and an offensive and they're like, oh, really?
You know, they're like, well, how bad can it be?
And they're like, what's it called now?
And I'm like, uh, cinema, you know, and they're like, okay, and where is this?
And they're like, one of them is googling it as we're talking.
And I'm like, please, yeah, just scrubs through and just stops halfway through an episode.
Just here's Americans, a bunch of cunts.
Right.
And I'm just, I'm just like, shut up.
Are you talking about penises?
Right.
I'm just like, I'm like, I'm telling them about it.
And I was like, look, ladies and gentlemen, if you, if you are going to listen to this show, please do me the favor of waiting until I am completely gone.
And try and remember these nice interactions that we have had over these various breakfasts at this bed and breakfast and how cordial and wonderful you may or may not have thought I was before you see the me that has no filter.
Please.
I love it.
I had actually made my sort of my customers of a similar sort of societal Ilken they've sort of said podcast.
Yeah.
What's your podcast called?
You wouldn't like it.
Um, it was about, I did my other one.
And again, it was just thinking my brain goes back to what did I say on the last three shows?
It's like, that would be offensive.
Oh, I talked about work.
Oh, I shouldn't have done that.
No, I tried to avoid talking about my job at all because just in case.
But nowadays it's much easier because when they ask, I just say, oh, yeah, I do a horror movie podcast and they're all far too well to do to watch horror movies.
So, um, yeah.
And one of the things is like, whenever you say the name for my show, Cinema Psyops, people automatically be like, right, what's that about?
Like, it's automatically intriguing because Psyops is a term that if you do know what it means, you automatically are like, right.
Okay.
Psychological operations, psychological warfare.
Very interesting.
And about movies.
Okay.
So it speaks interest automatically.
Or if they see the logo, it does too.
So I just thought it was about films and that awesome game that was on the PlayStation 2 that they've never remade for a better generation of console, which I'm very disappointed about.
I love that game.
Right.
But that that term has some baked in interest to it.
And then, you know, when you try to explain to them why the name is that the way that it is that it's, you know, the psychological warfare of movies, you know, basically when you try and distill it down.
And when you try to underplay that, it just does not work for me.
I can't tell you the number of people that my wife has mentioned that I do a podcast trying to force me to talk to people when I'm like, when I'm not on mic, I'm socially awkward as fuck.
You know, like it's it's total like pump up the volume scenario.
And so she's trying to get me out of my shell and to talk to people and to get people interested in me.
So she automatically uses that, you know, and then every single time I'm like, oh, you wouldn't like it.
Maybe as well, that that would be the only one.
You like once you're doing this show, you could say, well, I do this show as well, which is obviously it's way less rude.
But of course, the title is way more rude.
Right, right.
You know, podcast.
How high bra is that?
It's called Bolshean artists.
And it's just basically two guys talking to each other because they have an unrequited bromance that is separated by continents.
What that and we have other shows where we could talk to each other on them, but have to reign in the fucking rabbit holes and randomness in order to try and fit a pre designed model.
And looking for an outlet where we can just fucking side swipe off into a complete tangent and talk about whatever the fuck.
Thus, again, our second show 46 minutes in and we have not touched on the subject we had planned for the last show and said we'd pick up in this one.
So shall we do it now then?
Should we use that as a really fucking heavy handed segue?
Yes.
Okay.
I prefer my segues and love to be heavy handed.
Okay.
As I still from my previous co-hosts, it was a lovely, a lovely comedy made once it was like mind your toes, my segues coming through.
So what you want to talk about because this is we are October October is looming the wonderful 31 days and as we're rolling into it right now this is like the last week of September as we're recording this and hopefully this will be out just before October hit so.
Yeah, hopefully.
We'll see how that goes.
Well, October ends.
Well, yeah, definitely.
I will be in Dubai anyway.
So editing by the pool in 40 degree heat.
Anyway, that's neither here nor there for us.
This is our festive season because we are massive horror nuts and it's like Christmas.
But Halloween.
Yay.
Well, for me, it's more Halloween for the longest time was denied to me.
There was a certain period of my time as a child that the pastor in my mother's church was adamant against wearing costumes and celebrating Halloween even on the most basic go trick or treating level that nobody really thinks about because of the implications of salwan and all the other things that are pagan and anti God and that the devil is in the Halloween and and Satan is there waiting for you and that you shouldn't celebrate it.
You know, that that kind of thing.
So I want to say we have parallel lives, dude.
Seriously, probably about I would say probably about nine or 10 years old is, you know, like key trick or treating time, you know, my sister was already out of it.
So like she had just basically she's about three years older than me.
So about the time that I was nine or 10 is about the time that she was less interested in going out and doing trick or treating or anything like that and just, you know, wanted to go do other things and fit in and just, you know,
wanted to go do other things and fit in and be normal.
Meanwhile, I'm sitting at home alone, really depressed and sad every single Halloween that I couldn't go trick or treating for like two to three years a row.
And then eventually I just started, you know, dressing up for Halloween and going to school anyway, regardless of being able to trick or treat and just basically as a former rebellion.
So every year when Halloween comes rolling around, I'm trying to make up for a lost time.
Yeah, as much as I can.
So whenever you're fucking costumes of manic, they're awesome.
Well, I got into special effects because of a friend of mine was really into it.
He's no longer with us.
And so my my Halloween costume every year doubles as sort of like a tribute to him, you know, is like a this is for you, you know.
So like the better ones that I've done and the ones that I've really, really worked on are the years that I miss him more.
So, you know, it's just it's just one of those things and I don't want to bring everybody down on that.
But that's that's also part of it.
And it's, you know, Halloween is a it's a holiday where it should be bittersweet for me because it's more important to me than Christmas.
And everybody else looks at Christmas is like a family get together celebrating holiday.
And it's, you know, it's supposed to be a time of giving and the time of, you know, all of that kind of stuff.
And I've really tried to usurp those feelings and put that in towards Halloween where it's a remembrance.
It's it's all of the things that have gone before because in a lot of cultures, it's, you know, the spirits of the dead come back with us and we must honor them and that kind of idea.
And I really get into that.
I really love that idea.
While I don't have any spiritual feelings at all myself, the catharsis of those types of rituals and those those belief structures can still mean something to me, you know.
I know that my friend can't see that I made this costume in tribute to him.
But in my head, I know that that's the thing that exists now, you know, that I did this for him with regardless of whether or not and this is the first time I've ever really shared that with anybody that that's what I do.
So, hey, but you know, so.
And getting into podcasting getting on to social media because I avoided social media until I became a podcaster because that's not my thing and now I'm hooked on it apparently.
But it's also a way to keep tabs on all my podcaster buddies and everything like that and that's just what I like to do.
That 31 days of Halloween thing started really kicking off like the four years ago that I got into doing podcasting and seeing social media.
So that became something that I was all about because I'm like, yes, I want to watch as much horror as possible.
And I did a thing years and years ago that I started doing where it's like as soon as October hits, it's all horror or horror related or Halloween related stuff.
Doesn't matter what it is, but it has to be for Halloween.
I'll even take hard sci-fi as long as it has some scary moments to it too, you know, but like that's all the media I will consume.
That's all the music I will consume. And that's it, you know, like so some of the podcasts that aren't like specifically horror related.
That's that's it. The only thing I let go on that is like my own show.
If I just had it scheduled to do other things and I would do other things and that's how it's going to be.
Yeah, but you're talking to Matt every week. So there's always an element of horror.
Right. I've since moved that over to trying to watch as much horror or Halloween related material as I possibly could.
And so the hashtag of 31 days of Halloween for me has been more about how much stuff can I cram in.
And last year I did over 131 days of how whoa materials.
Nice.
Some of that was actually TV series as well.
And I only counted watching the TV series as one and I had to watch at least a movie's worth of material before I would count it.
But like I would watch an entire run like of say like I think I watched all of Ash vs Evil Dead like both season one and two.
And counted that as one entry is just watching Ash vs Evil Dead.
And this was this was before season three would hit out, you know.
And so like I was doing stuff like that or any movie I would watch and all of those kind of things.
And the way that I was able to do that is I would just get a bunch of stuff downloaded to my phone and instead of listening to podcasts, I would have horror movies playing on my phone while I'm working.
I see. Right. That's how you did it.
Right. So like I was guaranteed eight hours a day of where I could view stuff and get that much stuff in as possible.
But before I actually started podcasting, I watched anywhere from three to five movies a night before I would eventually be able to overcome my insomnia and fall to sleep sometimes more.
Wow.
And then my wife got me into episodic TV because that was her thing and then granted episodic TV has become really good, particularly with streaming stuff where you get to see episodic shows and things like that.
Yeah, I mean there's Gilmore Girls.
So yeah, that's.
Yeah.
The same person that did that is also responsible for Marvel.
Miss Maisel.
That's their magnum opus.
That is everything Gilmore Girls was leading up to because it was like, here's your squeaky clean daytime drama for American audiences.
But here's where our sense of humor actually lies and our razor fucking wit brought to you without filters.
I thought that was superbly done.
But and see that the thing with that Gilmore Girls is it's a little too saccharine and upbeat and you know, normal for me and I just can't get into that.
Miss Maisel is enough dark and fucked up and they put Lenny Bruce in it.
But yeah, yeah.
Okay, so this year what I'm planning to do for my 31 days of Halloween and to try and help celebrate Alamo draft house is a theater chain.
I started out as one in Texas and now has kind of become like a franchise.
There are two actual Alamo draft house theaters in my town.
Tell me they sell beer.
Yes, absolutely.
Okay, good.
We call this draft house without.
Okay, just checking.
Not only do they sell beer, but they actually have wait staff that will serve you food and beer during the film.
And they have a very strict policy of no talking, no texting.
You raise an order card if someone is bothering you in that way, shape or form the management will give them one warning and then if they continue, they will be ejected from the theater without a refund.
Oh, that's fucking awesome.
I love this place already.
Right.
I'm looking at flights for next October.
But anyway, they do the Alamo draft house is a thing that's called draft house of horrors. I was made aware of this last year because I went to a handful of these events because they were films that I wanted to see and it just fit into my schedule.
One of the things that I did was I met Don Coscarelli and actually got to see phantasm with Q&A afterwards and then he did a signing ahead of time.
He's an amazing man.
It was just so much fun.
And this is what got me wanting to do draft house of horrors for sure.
So this year I bought basically festival passes where I could get and watch any of the movies and all are all of the movies and or screenings.
Some of them are live Q&As a few of them are marathons as well.
And I also bought them for myself and my wife.
And so nearly every single day in October, I will be going to one of the two locations for a screening of films.
Brilliant.
Some of them are actually going to be marathons.
And they're usually Saturdays and they're going to be all days into the nights.
And I'm so stoked about this basically because this will be the first sort of official film festival that I've been able to go to.
Brandon, it's one every night and it's not like the normal ones where you cram in seven or eight a day, you know, in a single theater where your ass falls asleep and you may or may not have depends on to keep you going.
But it's still something that I'm very stoked about and it was actually very reasonably priced to buy these passes that you can get into everything.
My wife and I did the calculations.
I think it's like if you saw 15 of the total 31 events, you would you would cover the price.
Yeah, for the massive thing and that's not even counting that some of them are twice as expensive because they're movie marathons or anything like that.
So what's the mix of movies old and new or is it all new stuff?
Oh, it's all sorts of stuff.
Here's the lineup, right?
October 1st is once bitten, the comedic horror film starring Jim Carrey where Lauren Hutton turns him into a vampire.
And he's a virgin that's being screened in 35 millimeter on October 1st.
I didn't know that existed.
Okay, carry on.
Now at the same night at the different location, they're screening the Lost Voids.
Hmm.
I'd love to see on the big screen.
Exactly.
Yeah, I think that's the one that my wife and I went and chose because it's on the same night.
And I think we chose the Lost Boys over once bitten because I'd seen once bitten.
I like it.
I enjoy it.
There's nothing wrong with that.
And the fact that it would be in 35 millimeters not enough to draw me.
It's a perfectly funny film.
It's pretty serviceable, but there's a few things about it that I don't like and I'm just not going to go.
Yeah.
Mainly Jim Carrey and a comedy and there's a little bit of homophobia in it because it is an 80s movie.
Yeah, cause that's also avoiding that time.
Yeah.
Then on the next night, forbidden world.
I don't know much about it other than the description is the seed is planted, the nightmare grows.
Okay.
It's old school and it's going to be the next night and my wife and I both are going to probably be going to that.
Now we're talking new stuff.
They're doing an advanced screening where you get like a sneak peek.
Hmm.
That one is going to be Daniel isn't real.
Don't know anything about it.
I'm so excited.
Sorry.
Okay.
I take it you have seen this in one of your many festivals.
I have seen it and I'm saying nothing but good for you.
The overjoying excitement that you're having right now just tells me that my wife and I picked well to see that one.
I hope your opinion is the same because horror is I always say you like so many horror films end up with three stars because you'll get a load of people to give it five.
You get a load of people to give it one.
I think Daniel isn't real will probably end up with a higher overall rating because I think it's going to be people love it and people kind of like it.
I don't think anyone's actually going to hate it.
So I'll be just see how it ends up sort of on the IMDb's and so on.
But weirdly I at frightfest this year, my friend John sort of said come to the Phoenix Club with me.
We just they have like a karaoke night on after one of the dates.
But if you watch the last film then go it's difficult to get in because it's such a small venue.
So we basically he convinced me to blow off this film and we went and queued up outside the club.
So I ended up standing in this queue for like 40 minutes talking to the director of Daniel isn't real without even really realizing it.
No, I know who it was because he'd done a Q&A.
And we talked about anything but his movie.
So it was really interesting.
We got onto weird creature movies that should be made and he said that he somebody should make one about me cats.
And I said, well, there'd be public outcry in the UK because we have these adverts on the television with fluffy me cat.
So everybody loves and like would really upset people.
So yeah, absolutely.
You should do that.
Very super nice guy.
But that's just a weird really weird coincidence.
Right.
So I'm very excited for this one.
This is going to be one that I'm definitely looking forward to more.
The one that I'm going to end up having to miss though, which I'm kind of sad about, but at the same time I'm okay with.
They're doing, I guess, Richard P. Rubenstein, who was the producer of the original Don of the Dead has supervised and or is looking to get more money out of Don of the Dead by doing a 3D restored version that's being screened.
My wife and I are going to a concert that night.
So we're not going to see that.
Interesting.
It's intriguing to me, but it was also one where I'm not super sad to miss.
Yeah.
Totally fine with that because what's happening the next day is so much more exciting for me, boss.
Okay, go, go.
I'm excited for you.
Saturday, October 5th.
They are actually going to be screening an Italian giallo marathon.
Yeah.
Oh my God, you have to wear black leather gloves.
I have some for that.
Yes.
My wife was actually shockingly really into this.
Yeah.
I was actually like thinking, oh no, she wouldn't want to, she wouldn't want to see this, but when they announced it and, you know, it was one of the things she was looking over the calendar to see if she wanted to do it too.
She was like, you know, I think I want to go the full badge and not just the regular screenings because I really want to see this Italian giallo marathon.
She's like, I really like some of those Italian slasher movies.
Awesome.
And I was like, could I marry you all over again?
You were the perfect woman.
I said, you were just going to go about my badassery of my wife.
I think you had just hashtag keeper.
Yeah.
Well, and here's the, here's the list.
They did an excellent curation of this marathon.
Lizard and a woman's skin.
Don't torture a duckling.
You have two very classic full cheese and some of his best work in both of those, particularly don't torture a duckling.
Lizard and a woman's skin is great.
Don't get me wrong, but don't torture a duckling is probably the finest giallo.
Not just because Folti made it, but just probably one of the finest jellies ever.
I absolutely love it.
Then we're going to go, I don't know what order they're going to be in, but this is just how they have them listed.
Next is opera, Dario Argento's opera, which is the one that brought my wife into wanting to do it because she really dug opera.
And she was absolutely right to call it an Italian slasher because that's what that was.
Yeah.
A jelly.
There's a scene in that movie that actually fucked me up a little bit for a little while.
Oh, really?
Very strange, the effect it had on me.
And it's the, it's the bullet down the peephole.
Yes.
Oh, very, very interesting and well done shot.
Have you ever seen the behind the scenes of that?
It's so incredible how they built that.
I should have to look it up because it's so long ago that I last saw it that it, there's a version of it in my brain, which is probably way worse than it actually plays out because it had this profound effect on me on what a horrible thing to happen and just such a perfect kill.
I think it was the deviousness of it.
I don't know.
It just really had an effect on me that did.
Well, and the thing that's really interesting about that is in one shot, he, the killer in this film gets impatient and does a shot through the people like that basically murders the person protecting his torment victim and destroys the phone while she's trying to call for help all in one smooth shot.
And then they also do that in the film as one continuous shot where you see the, the bullet come out of the head and hit the phone as well.
It like cuts to that and then it goes through the person's head and into the phone behind her, you know, with the person that's on the phone watching this all happen and screaming and it's in super slow motion.
And it's just really effective and it's just wonderful and I'm not going to be able to contain my joy of seeing that on the big screen.
Again, big screen.
I'm so jealous.
And the last but not least, a Bay of Blood, which is the template for the first two Friday the 13th movies, Kill Wise.
Oh, I haven't seen that.
It is Mario Bava.
So given the way that you reacted to some other Mario Bava films that I've shown you, you may not look it.
I liked bits.
For reference, go see cinema, obsessive cinema discourse.
Right.
So that marathon I'm super stoked for.
I totally cannot wait at all.
And especially since my wife is just as excited for that.
We have a Val Luton cat people double feature.
Not sure I'm going to be going to that one yet or not.
Some of the ones that are happening on Sundays are still up in the air because my wife can't do it, but I may go on my own.
Competing with that is the Australian gross out meltdown movie, Body Melt.
Have I seen that?
That rings a bell, but I don't think I've seen it.
What year is that?
Like the 80s? No, 90s. 90s.
OK.
So it is right around the time of Dead Alive.
It is one of the more infamous meltdown movies and it's just gotten, I believe, an Arrow UK release.
And I know it's been released over here by Severin in the States.
So you may have seen it posted via social media.
OK, that's probably what it is then.
So it's a restoration.
Absolutely.
Now, there's also options for Tigers Are Not Afraid and Nightmare on Elm Street as a movie party.
That's something that Alamo does where you get props and you get to go on.
Now, the Nightmare on Elm Street movie party is happening again at another location, so we're going to be doing that later on.
And Tigers Are Not Afraid is currently on Shutter.
And while I would love to go see it, they're also airing both of those on a night that I normally record my podcast and that has to come first.
Oh, but date on the big screen.
I know.
It's so good.
They do have, I believe, another screening that could possibly be happening because the schedule is always in flux.
So if there's another one, I might go see it on the big screen regardless.
I'm actually pissed off that it's on Shutter in all honesty because it took such a long time to come out and the buzz around it is not misplaced.
And there's this whole thing about the Oscars and the fact they won't look at horror as a genre at all.
And if you compare it to Tarantino's latest offering, which probably will get nominations for a couple of things, because that's normally what happens.
You're like, it should be up there.
There's various things about it that it should absolutely qualify and it doesn't even get a cinema release.
Because we're so, although horror is one of the biggest moneymakers, it's still like it's not tolerated enough in cinemas.
I just don't know why and it isn't that divisive a movie.
Is it just because it's subtitled?
I don't know.
I don't know what it is, but it's probably the subtitles.
That's a big turn off for a lot of folks, even in the horror community still.
I mean, there's a very rare breed of international horror fanatics, usually that has to be in their own native language.
I mean, there are plenty of us that are like you and I where we will consume literally anything if we're told it's horror.
We're just like, yes, throw it our way.
Subtitles, fine. Give it to me.
Don't ever give me someone else's performance over the top of that actor.
Because that actor was paid to do that role.
That's the voice I want to hear that goes with that performance.
I don't want someone else's non-performance over the top of that actor's performance.
That is not art.
That is an abomination.
And I never want to see it.
That may be why you have a big problem with Italian cinema, because a lot of Italian cinema for the bulk of it is just overdubbed all the time.
Yeah, it's all ADR, isn't it?
Yeah, it's always replaced.
So I believe that we may have found your automatic knee-jerk nope reaction to a lot of Italian cinema.
Yeah, but I love some of them.
The better done dubs or when the actors get to re-dub their own performance.
Yeah, maybe that's it.
Another screening I'm super excited for.
The Wolfman's Got Nards documentary with a live Q&A.
Star Andrew Gower will actually be in attendance.
I happen to know that he's very good value.
In fact, if you want either a sneak preview or you don't want to ruin it after you've done that,
go to my friend Mitch's podcast, Strong Language and Violent Scenes,
and look for their celluloid screams special from last year,
because he was the guest on that show and they recorded it live at the festival.
And that's my horror festival that I go into in October in Sheffield.
And he was great value, it was really funny.
So, I have a little recommendation there.
The live Q&A is actually competing with the Spanish version of Dracula from 1931,
which we have covered on the podcast for Cinema Psyops.
I actually made Matt do a compare and contrast with the original and the Spanish version.
It was like a little experiment and actually turned out quite well.
When was that?
Oh, gosh, ages ago.
It was one of our, when I was still doing the Remedial Horror line of stuff with it.
I might have been, yeah, because I never got to go back, unfortunately, I just didn't have time.
Sorry, I missed it that way.
But that, I actually prefer the Spanish version of Dracula 1931.
I think it's a much better produced film.
I think if you could lift the guy playing Dracula out of that film and put Bella Lagosse in that film,
you would have an unimpeachable film of just amazing caliber.
Todd Browning was a bit of a lazy director with that film of Dracula.
There were plenty of things like cardboard glued to or taped to lights that were left in shots and things like that.
And the Spanish, the Spanish production, there's Spanish language production was actually seeing the dailies of what that,
the crew they were competing against were doing before they would go and shoot.
And then they're like, yeah, we can do better than that.
So they automatically were like one upping them all the time.
That sounds cool.
Does your feed go back that far? I guess it doesn't.
No, it does.
It does. Okay.
It goes back to episode one.
I went and manually posted at five episodes at a time.
I went and manually posted the back episodes and then backdated the blog posts to make sure that they would stay in the right order.
Holy shit. That's effort. That is effort.
Yeah, you know me. I'm obsessive like that.
So Wednesday, October 9th, they're going to do Scream Queen, my nightmare on Elm Street with a live Q&A.
So I believe that Mark Patton, the actual person that was in Nightmare on Elm Street 2, that that documentary is based upon
and what happened with that film being made.
I believe he will be in attendance with the audience.
And if that's the case, I'm really looking forward to and I'm hoping that he'll do a signing so I can at least meet him.
And also ask if I can give him a hug.
Okay.
Understandable.
I just want to give you a hug.
Is that okay? If not cool. I understand.
Then Teen Wolf will be the following night in 35 millimeter.
I'm super stoked for that.
Yes.
We also have going to be doing a Evil Dead in the 4K restoration that blew under not blue underground, but
Grindhouse Releasing did here in the States.
There's going to be a 4K restoration of that that I'm going to go to.
There was an army of darkness movie party, but they're re-screening that elsewhere.
So I'm going to go with the Evil Dead restoration instead.
Yeah, that sounds good.
We're up to another movie marathon.
This one I'm less excited about, but my wife is way more excited about.
So I'm going to give it a shot.
A lot of these films are not my forte and anyone who's listened to the 90s series of teapots will understand why.
But this is called the Teenage Wasteland Marathon.
It is going to be Scream.
I know what you did last summer.
Urban Legend and Final Destination.
Amazing.
Right.
If 90s Scream-fashioned horror is your thing, this marathon is for you.
I'm excited for Urban Legend and Final Destination for sure.
I am not a fan of Scream, although I am less hateful about it than I have been in the past.
And I may or may not have played up my hate for it for the teapot summer series just to play the heel of the show like I'm supposed to.
And I really, I remember being completely non-plus about I know what you did last summer all together and really disliking it.
So I'm not really into that.
Although I remember liking Urban Legend and thinking, wow, this is at least a little different.
You know?
Yeah, it's alright.
I mean, I had such a crush on Jennifer Love-Hewitt that I just didn't matter how bad the film was.
Same.
Yeah.
She's on my not allowed list.
Do you have a not allowed list?
Not allowed as in you're not allowed to even if you get a chance.
Yeah, basically.
Like, we keep having this argument.
The video keeps saying, no, you don't have a list.
I'm like, no, I do have a list.
Because I still get to have a list because it's not allowed.
So everyone else hasn't allowed list.
I have a, if Scar Joe turns up with, you know, the required attire and a bottle of wine and here's a bed.
We're going to do this thing.
And I'm like, no, I'm sorry.
I'm not allowed.
But where I allowed, you'd definitely be on the list.
Goodbye.
So that's how it gets to play out.
So I call it my not allowed list there.
Yes, I would say that I certainly have one.
Most of the people that are on it are passed.
So it's okay then.
Like it's okay for my wife.
My wife doesn't get jealous if I lust after people who are no longer with us because it's never going to happen unless I time travel.
Right.
So that's usually okay.
But then there are certain celebrity crushes that we're really talking about here that I have that she will tease me about.
For instance, Jennifer Connelly, every time Jennifer Connelly is on screen, she gets super jealous about Jennifer Connelly and calls her my quote unquote girlfriend and teases me about it.
Yeah, give an offer chance.
Right.
So, you know, there's that.
But yeah, I do, I do have that list.
So I totally get Jennifer love Hewitt on that.
And also Sarah Michelle Geller, if anybody crushes on her, I would totally understand that as well.
But that so teenage Westland is going to be more or less more for my wife being really into it.
And then basically me being there enjoying like two thirds of what you know, because there's I mean, the thing is though, it's a festival atmosphere and their films everybody's scenes.
And I was worried about spoilers.
So like the thing I love about festivals, if you go to things like that and marathons like that is people tend to heckle and shout shit out.
And that's what makes it entertaining.
So even if you don't really dig the film, like when I went to the Friday 13th marathon, what's the guy Wally you're going to die?
Like every time he came on screen, everybody was like, just that great family atmosphere about it.
Oh, that's what I love.
Yeah, I'm a big fan of the those types of atmospheres.
Now at the Alamo Draft House, I'm not sure how the marathons are going to go for that.
I think they're still going to require you to be respectful.
However, their movie parties you're allowed to cheer.
You're not allowed to boo for characters, but you're allowed to cheer when a favorite character comes on.
You can quote as long as you quote along with the movie.
Like it's very specifically that's what a movie party is.
I would say that in this these marathons, they're not going to allow that.
However, if I'm just not enjoying myself, I can always step outside of that particular theater location under the guys of going to the bathroom and you know, go wander around for a bit and then come back.
I'll get a fine, fine beer.
Well, I could have that delivered to me, but yes, I could also go to the bar and you know, or what have you in an Alamo Draft House, particularly some of the ones where these locations are.
There's always something interesting.
Ours in town, the one that's out on the west side of town or further out west has a operational death star like hanging above the lobby.
Wow.
And then off to the side, there is an emperor's chair.
And if you hit a button on the emperor's chair, it makes the death star noise and it actually does like lighting a light show that it fires.
Amazing.
Yeah, it's really fucking cool.
The new midtown location, which is actually closer to where I live is actually instead of that, they have a it's like a three leveled building.
And on the second level, or no, I'm sorry, on the third level where all the theaters actually are, they have they have they commissioned an artist to build basically as two scale as possible and iron giant statue.
Wow.
It's standing on rubble and everything.
It's amazing.
It's really well built and put together.
It's very, very cool.
They didn't really have the space to do a lot of the other kind of fun stuff that they did with the death star one, but the one that's in La Vista, which is the out west version.
That one is more Star Wars themed and specifically Star Wars themed because that's what brought an interest in everything.
And then this midtown one is more for just like the movie fanatics that want to go to that atmosphere and then the iron giant and then also all along the hall that you would lead to the theaters are just these giant movie posters from the heyday of film like mostly westerns and things like that where they're like multi panels and stuff like that.
So I mean, it's it's literally for movie fanatics, this theater, which is why I love it so much.
I'm not just a shill for them.
I just it just feels like home being there.
No, but if if they enforce what we call the code of compliance when people watch movies, I wish I had a fucking cinema like that anywhere near me because the dick heads after I always sit on the front row now because I don't care if it's neck craning in the screens too close.
I can't see anybody in my peripheral vision.
I can hear the rustling fucking packets all over the place behind me and I hear the odd phone go off, but I don't see glowing screens.
Therefore I don't have to kill anyone because it's I'm just so sick of it and it's getting worse.
People just they think they have a right to just do whatever the fuck they want in a cinema and the staff are too terrified and they won't do anything about it.
And yeah, it's just it's becoming more of a problem.
Did you say it was an Andre Gower who was yes.
Yes. OK, brilliant.
So you want episode 56 of Strong Language and Violent Scenes where they cover Starship Troopers.
It's very funny.
Um, here we go.
So just to kind of just to kind of move through here, we've got all least or molestros carnival of blood, which is going to be a Sunday showing.
Going to be missing the 35 millimeter version of Night of the Demons, even though that's one of my favorite movies.
Oh, I like that.
I love that film.
Yeah, because I'm going to the movie party of 1999 to the mummy with my wife because she got so excited.
She loves those movies and all their cornball cheesiness and.
OK.
And also I'd go with the lipstick every time.
But OK, that's her choice.
No, no, don't get me wrong. I love Night of the Demons, but I mean, I'm also a huge Rachel Weiss fanatic.
She would also probably end up on my, you know, not allowed list if you want to call it that.
Interesting. She never did it for me, despite my thing for Brunettes.
Yeah.
Um, the thing that I think really quenched it is her badassdom in a lot of the various films that I've seen her in.
And I just don't know what it is. It just it just did it for me, you know.
Yeah, you do like a badass lady.
Yeah, I'm going to be missing one cut of the dead because that'll actually be the night recording my podcast.
Oh, sacrifices. I know, bud.
I know.
But.
Oh, I know.
There's also it's also on shutter too.
So I think that's why I chose to do that because my wife and I will watch it on shutter after I'm done recording.
That's right. A big, big screen not required for that film.
It's more about the experience.
So plus you've got a big screen in your fucking basement.
Right. I mean, I don't want to brag, but right, I was going to put it on the theater in my basement.
So, you know, it's more about you bragged about that last week. It's fine.
Yeah, right. I'm trying to not sound as much of a braggart as I came off with last time.
So there's going to be a screening of the visitor, not a film I know a lot about, but it's from 1979.
That's going to be that Tuesday as well on the different location.
I can't believe that I'm actually going to be able to be doing this, but they're doing a beer dinner showing the Wednesdays, the 16th of Texas Chainsaw Massacre too.
Oh, it's a special screening and they pair beer along with it.
I think they're still trying to tie down the special beers that are going to go along with it.
So I'm going to be breaking my keto and also my not really drinking to be able to do that.
Yeah, I'm super stoked.
It was a toss up between that and West Craven's shocker on 35 millimeter.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
But when they revealed that it's TCM2, I was like, fuck it, I don't care. I'm doing that instead.
Sounds much better deal to me. I know which one I'd pick.
Right. I mean, the beer dinner thing isn't really a selling point for me.
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not really a drinker.
You know, it's not that I don't imbibe. It's just that I don't enjoy it as much as other folks would.
But the fact that they're going to be doing a beer dinner pairing of Texas Chainsaw 2 makes me really interested.
And so I had to do that.
Then Thursday, they're doing the original Diabolik, a screening.
Oh, yeah.
Friday is Rosemary's baby and the tenant in one of the locations.
Okay.
The one that I'm super stoked about, we have yet another marathon and I think this is probably going to make you cream your jeans.
It's called the howl at the moon marathon.
Can you guess the type of marathon this is going to be?
Oh, yes.
Sounds right up my alley.
Werewolf films.
Oh, yeah.
Now again, I don't know the order of the screenings, but here are the films.
Dog soldiers.
Yes.
An American werewolf in London, the 4K restoration.
If it wasn't, I would have been swearing at somebody.
Brotherhood of the wolf.
Oh, yeah. Okay. Respectable.
Right.
And wolfen.
Oh, okay.
Very interesting, very different grabs of werewolf or werewolfism type flicks.
I was expecting either silver bullet or the howling.
Right. Apparently this is another one. They've done this last year and apparently the silver bullet was one of the ones from last year.
Okay, right.
And I believe they use the howling too. So the howling as well, not the howling too, which is the weirdest fucking werewolf movie ever.
Yeah, yeah, that came out recently.
I tell you one that's I think vastly underrated, which I think is a whole ton of fun and that is cursed.
Yeah, there are moments of course. Christina Ricci.
Yeah.
I wish they would have gone so CG with the werewolves, but some of the ideas are cool and werewolfism as an STD is a really cool idea.
Yeah.
There's going to be a screening of Val Luton's The Leopard Man.
I'm very interested in that.
Val Luton's a very interesting filmmaker, did a lot of really great, very subversive style movies in the black and white haze code era of films and was able to--
Okay, explains why I have no reference for any of that.
Right. So it slips in a lot of sort of like subtle references and just kind of hints at ideas and various things.
And it is more about the symbolism or this type of horror, very cerebral stuff, very interesting things.
Val Luton's a very interesting filmmaker.
I think people should check out his stuff.
So I'm very stoked about that.
One that I'm going to have to find a way to make it happen, Serial Mom, a 25th anniversary screening.
I'm going to have to go to that for sure.
So I'm going to be missing this Dead Calm 30th anniversary and 35mm, not a huge fan of Dead Calm, it's okay.
Average at best.
Yeah.
There's going to be a Rocky Horror Picture movie party that night, so that's why I'm missing Dead Calm.
I guess.
I have not seen Rocky Horror Picture show for probably 30 some odd years.
Oh really? Oh, that'll be nice then.
Right. And it's going to be a movie party and it'll be a great atmosphere. It'll be on blast. I can't wait.
Take a newspaper. Yeah.
Psycho's in love and the crazies are going to be the next two nights.
Okay.
The cabinet of Dr. Kallagari with a live score. There's going to be live musicians performing that on a Thursday.
That's very cool.
That's been restored as well. I think Arrow, I wasn't Arrow, someone else did it here.
I might have been Indicator or who's the other, not second site, although they do some restorations,
but I believe Indicator is the one that has also been doing a lot of restoration work over there too.
Right.
But the one that I'm actually going to be really stoked about and will probably skip the cabinet of Dr. Kallagari to do instead is Shock Waves.
Shock Waves.
Nazi Zombies from the Ocean with Peter Cushing.
I don't think I've ever seen that.
Oh man, are you in for a treat if you check that one out?
It's a really weird trippy film and scenes from Shock Waves are actually featured in meatballs, the original meatballs.
That's one of the movies that they're watching at the camp to keep the kids busy.
Let me see if I can.
Yeah.
The one that I'm the most stoked for, there's a double feature of I Drink Your Blood and I Eat Your Skin.
Did I lose even?
This is, okay, so I Eat Your Skin is actually like a sort of 50s movie that featured cannibalism, but I Drink Your Blood is a late 70s gorefest where these satanic, like almost like a Charles Manson-esque cult, basically are LSD crazed and they get infected with rabies via meat pies.
Long story on how that happens, but it does happen.
And they go shit nuts and kill everybody and start like going really super crazy.
And that double feature, I am dying to go see because that is an old school drive-in double feature.
They were put together all the time and they are recreating it with restored versions of both films for Alamo Draft House and I love that.
Awesome.
I'm going to be missing a documentary on Alien, which is like Memory of the Origins of Alien, which I will be able to catch eventually. I'm not that sad about, but that's okay.
Yeah, I'm fed it's all right.
Right.
Now, on Saturday night, the 26th of October, that is when I'm doing my actual Halloween party, so not going to be able to see Dismember the Alamo this year, sadly.
Which is a 35mm film festival of just crazy weird shit that they break out of the vaults.
Oh, nice.
Some of it is pretty much like surprise screenings. You have no idea what's going on and that's just how it's going to be.
Then Sunday, they're going to actually screen the original trick or treat in 35mm of the 1986.
Rock and roll one.
Yes, with Ozzie Osborn and Gene Simmons. I don't know how I'm going to be able to miss that. I just, I don't know.
Monday, I'll be recording, but they're actually screening Cannibal Holocaust.
Oh, are they? What?
The full...
The full thing?
It doesn't really say, but knowing what I know about Alamo Draft House, more than likely they will screen it all and they serve food during these screenings.
So whoever's eating during Cannibal Holocaust, my hat's off to you, sir or madam.
I would change the menu.
They usually do special screening menu sometimes with certain films and I would be not shocked if they did something with Cannibal Holocaust to be sort of tongue in cheek.
The fricacy of turtle guts, please.
Now, I don't know for sure if we're going to be doing this or not, but there is a screening of the subtitled version of Vampire Hunter D.
So I think we might be doing that.
Or we may be doing, because depending on my wife's not really into anime, we may do cutting class, the 30th anniversary edition, which is a Brad Pitt starring Slasher from the early 80s.
Him and Jill Schwallen are in that.
Have you ever heard of it?
Oh, it's such a such a rare and interesting little gem of a film.
I'm not going to say it's good, but there's certain moments of it that keep me coming back to it and I definitely won't talk down about it.
I'm just glad it got rediscovered because I caught it on late night cable and just really was like, wow, how have I never seen this before?
There's going to be another screening of a film that a lot of buzz I've heard about, but I'm trying to avoid knowing too much about, but my wife is super into in fabric.
I heard that.
As far as I know, it's like a haunted dress or haunted fabric that is affecting various people who wear it.
It's almost like a, I don't know if it's an anthology of stories, but I know it affects a bunch of different women.
That's all I know about and that's all I want to know.
Yeah, I haven't seen it, but I've done it.
It's, you know, when you hear a film title and it's been recently mentioned somewhere, but you have so many sources of film information, you can't filter out where it was.
Right.
Yeah, it's, I haven't seen it certainly.
I know that.
Another thing that I'm super excited for, screening of Candyman.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, I can't watch that enough.
So I'm going to have to go for that.
And then finally, we're going to be on Halloween night at the Beetlejuice movie party in midtown.
Yay.
Anyone who's heard a couple's therapy that we did on Beetlejuice will know why we love that film so much and how much we both quoted.
To this day, if we are still goofing around, my wife and I are just doing something silly.
If one of us makes a kind of noise, we immediately sprout into weird ghosts.
We just do that for like five minutes straight until our cats attack us to get us to shut up.
That's a bit like when we go bullshit artist.
Right.
Yeah, it's very similar to that.
So that's the lineup.
That's going to be a big part of my 31 days of Halloween.
And in between all of that recording my podcast and still trying to get a week, an episode out every single week doing the editing, all of that, doing the prep work for it, watching the movies for that.
I'm still going to try and hit.
I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it, but I'm going to try and hit at least 100 movies again this October or 100 instances of viewings that are Halloween or horror related.
I'm just super stoked to be able to get to all of these screenings.
I mean, it's basically roughly like 31 movies that you could get into because some of them are back to back screenings at different locations.
But there are at least 31 opportunities to watch a movie every single night in October at an Alamo Draft House here in town.
And I think that's wonderful.
I'm super stoked for that.
That's amazing.
That's very cool.
I'm going to get to watch fuck all because I'm going to be in Koffu then in Dubai.
But at least you won't have the pressure to record this because I won't be here.
But you will also be in Koffu and Dubai and earning some much deserved relaxation and time alone with the wife.
Yeah, exactly.
And then when we get back, literally the week we get back, we are sodding off to Sheffield for our little festival thing that we try and do in October.
And that is Selly Lloyd Screams, which is basically in the UK from Bank Holiday weekend in August, which is Fright Fest until Christmas is when all of the horror shit happens.
Apart from Fright Fest Glasgow, which is in February.
There's just sort of nothing the rest of the year.
And I'm like, God, you fuckers like, like just spread it out a bit because I mean, obviously you don't you won't know the geography, but there's like everything's up in the Midlands as well.
Like up north from where we are pretty much.
And winter travels always a bitch.
Yeah, not so much as just getting north of London's was a poor lake.
But like the Mayhem Festival is the weekend before Selly Lloyd Screams.
So it's like, which one do you want to go to?
Because I used to go to Mayhem and I loved it.
But Selly Lloyd Screams, more of my Fright Fest family, we call it family.
There's actually a documentary.
You should see if you can find it there because it's on Amazon Prime here.
And it's Fright Fest, the Dark Heart of Cinema.
And it's a documentary about basically I was made on that thing with the 18th anniversary of the festival.
And it talks about why it's so special.
And it isn't about the films and the directors and everything else that comes.
It's about the family feel that I've only been going for what five, six years now.
And after two years, I was pretty much accepted into this group of people, this sort of Fright Fest family, various factions of it.
I was just hundreds of people who go.
But a lot of the people I'm now friends with are actually talking on camera in that documentary.
And it shows you just how accepting they are of just the wannabe Big Math podcaster who came along.
And they just sort of gave me the time of day.
And they're such a wonderful bunch.
And they sort of go en masse to Selly Lloyd Screams.
One of those people is Mitch Bain from the Strong Language and Violent Scenes podcast that I mentioned.
And they've got in with the organizers last year and did a live show on the Thursday from one of the screens there, which is really cool.
I was gutted. I couldn't make it.
And annoyingly this year, because I'm out of holiday because of these trips, I'm not going to make it again if they do it this year.
So that's going to be twice. I don't get there.
But I do see Mitch eventually when I do arrive, which is nice.
Now, because Fright Fest is so big and has so many movies, it's inevitable that the other festivals after it are going to be playing for a while.
Are going to be playing films I've already shown there.
But very often it's like they're always good picks.
So it's ones you're not too bothered about seeing again.
There's one called The Girl on the Third Floor, which I heard really good things about.
But I'm going to I'm not going to be there in time to catch that.
Because the other thing was Selly Lloyd Screams. It used to be Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
They've now upped it to half of Thursday all of Friday.
Whereas it used to just be sort of three in the afternoon onwards on a Friday.
Friday is now sort of lunchtime till one in the morning.
So they've really upped the output for this year.
It's popular. It was always going to grow because they do such a great job.
And they do a thing I really love is that they show short films, but they always match the short films to the features.
So instead of doing packages of short films like they do at Fright Fest,
where you have to miss a film to go and watch a load of shorts.
Now, I love shorts. I think it's a great medium.
I really like this setup where you get a good short just before the movie and they try and tie them in thematically so it works.
So I love the way they program their festival.
They are playing. I'll just give you some highlights. I won't do the whole rundown.
One of my films of Fright Fest this year was Why Don't You Just Die?
Love the title.
Yeah, it's a Russian film about a guy who's basically turned up to kill his girlfriend's father.
And you find out why it is he wants to do this.
The film starts with him knocking on the front door, holding a hammer behind his back.
And then it just goes fucking mental from that point on, which is just insane.
And it's beautifully shot. It's funny. It's harsh. It's wonderfully covered.
It's a really good film.
The other thing they do is a secret film every year, but this year they have two secret films.
So you literally have no idea what it is until they come and intro it.
Oh, see, I love stuff like that. That makes it so much more fun because you have no idea what you're about to see.
And they're usually pleasant surprises, I would assume.
Yeah, they had the autopsy of Jane Doe.
See, that would be so amazing to have no idea what you're getting into.
Well, I mean, this is why when I go to film festivals, I don't read the synopsis for anything.
Right. Which is harsh when you've got to pick between screens.
But my model of Fright Fest of not going to discovery screenings, waiting to see what people rave about, like The Girl on the third floor,
I now know that's a film to try and see.
And then I sort of crossed my fingers that it's going to be at one of the festivals I'm going to later.
But there's quite a few on this that weren't there, to my knowledge, which I'm looking forward to,
but obviously will not be reading the synopsis for.
What I always used to do when I was a kid, sorry to cut you off there, is look at the cover, read the title,
then maybe glance at the back at some of the stills that get popped on for the VHS tape.
And if that grabbed me enough to be interested in the film, I would just rent it because it was three bucks or two bucks or whatever,
or five movies, five days, five dollars.
So I've really tried to replicate that as much as possible now,
especially if it doesn't cost me anything but my time for streaming on the internet, you know, with Netflix and all of that stuff.
When it comes to seeing movies and theaters, I want to know a little bit more, but I still kind of use that where I will look at some stills from the film.
I'll look at the poster and I may read a slight synopsis, but not really read it before I go see it in a theater.
But something like this with a festival, I think it would be like if the title and the poster grabs me, I'll just go.
Yeah, because you know you're going anyway, you're paying for a weekend pass, you're going largely to see the people who were there.
The other thing is I've got a fellow podcaster, he goes by Gore Blimey.
I know Gore, we're very good friends.
I know.
So I'm blindsided with that one.
I get to see, I have to go to Selly Lloyd's screams because it's my one turn each year to meet up with Gore and see him and get a big squidgey hug.
See, if I didn't have to worry about money, I would so be over there for this festival season and just hang out at all these festivals with you folks.
It would be so much fun.
It would be awesome.
That's my retirement plan right there.
I'm just going to come to England once a year for this season and just like, I don't know, Airbnb it or something.
I mean, Gore's lovely because he normally has me on for his Selly Lloyd screams roundup show as well.
So we get to talk about what we've seen and so on.
And you know, it's usually we skipped out on one that he stayed for or he slept through one that we didn't slept through.
Tigers are not afraid.
Blessing.
Yeah, he was just so exhausted.
I mean, but you can't blame anyone for that because festivals, that's just what happens.
You can't help it.
It's it's going to the late nights and it's it's one of those things.
Yeah, very little sleep trying to cram in as much time as you can with everybody and everything.
Exactly.
Yeah.
There is a film they're playing called and from the deadliest film ever made, which annoyingly I'm not going to get there in time for either because we we can't get there till Friday evening.
There's just no way around it.
So we're basically missing the Thursday and Friday.
I've heard good things about that.
They are also playing Daniel isn't real.
So we get to see that again.
There's a film with Elijah Wood called Come to Daddy, which I think that was the frightfest opener this year and it's quite a lot of fun actually.
So I'll be happy to see that again.
And Joe Bego's new film Bliss is also playing, which isn't for some but very much for others.
If you want to watch a psychedelic, extremely loud, full of death metal, colorful, fast moving vampire flick fueled by black cocaine, then this is up your alley.
You had me at the hallucination death metal part and then you completely won me over again when you said something about vampires and black cocaine.
Oh, and gorgeous women covered in blood naked painting.
Yeah.
I'm going to need to take a break.
I got to go pick or something.
Yes, you might want to look out for that one.
Yes, that's the end of October.
I'm going to actively try and find it, dude.
That sounds amazing.
Yeah, some Graham Skippers in it.
Because it's a Joe Bego film obviously and he has to be because it's the law.
Yeah, I'm a bit gutted because I have this sort of tradition now, which has sort of accidentally happened that I get a selfie with Graham every year.
And he doesn't remember who I am every year and I didn't get to do it this year.
Oh, I hoping that maybe he comes to celluloid screams.
I don't know if they're going to visit.
You never know who's going to be there for the Q&A.
So it'd be a nice surprise if they are.
But yeah, right.
Fest.
It was Matt Mercer, Joe Bego and Graham Skipper and someone else, but they were all there who helped make this film.
So it was kind of cool.
So this is very inside baseball if you don't like horror because obviously these are not supposed to be horror podcasts, but we can't help it.
We spent the front half talking about Jean-Claude Van Damme and ranking what our favorite films of his were.
So there's a little something for everybody.
Yeah, exactly.
We're both huge horror fanatics.
It's going to be really hard to keep horror out of this show.
Yeah, it is.
Mostly him trolling me for not watching old shit and me giving him shit for not seeing enough new shit.
So that's, you know, it'll be fun.
Well, in the immortal words of a now dead actor who played the Joker, you complete me.
Speaking of completing things.
Have you got some music for me?
Yeah, I could give you a little indecent exposure.
Hey.
Okay, I'm going to put a zip noise over that.
All right.
So this episode's musical group or band or however you want to put it is a goth band with a name that will make you picture some really weird stuff and then make you really comfortable all at once Miranda sex garden.
Okay.
So I can't really nail down what I would describe Miranda sex gardens music as because it varies from album to album.
There are certain albums of theirs where it's all acapella and it's like the three ladies singing and they do these very almost like chamber music like classic style songs.
Like for an entire album where it's like 40 minutes, but it's 25 songs. And so like it's it's very like, like I said, it's very difficult to nail down one of the songs that actually got me into Miranda sex garden was on a compilation and that's what I'm about to play for you from the album Carnival of souls.
This is Sleeping Beauty.
Okay.
Oh.
[music]
And then this broad walked in, she had a face like...
[laughs]
Yes, exactly. So it has a very Film Noir thing and actually every time I've heard that song,
I picture like a guy that's driving in like this beat up fucking car,
that at one time was like beautiful, like almost Sin City style where like you just did with...
Yeah, yeah.
Like just talking to himself and you know...
I was thinking Maltese folk and this where my brain went.
Right, but the really, yeah, very much Film Noir or that very kind of like gritty type of mystery,
like watch a dame like you doing in a joint like this.
Right, but the really interesting thing is if you listen to the lyrics in tonight,
it's like talking about this woman who comes from the ocean or something
and it's very like this weird Lovecraftian Cthulhu type moment.
But it's...
Okay.
But the song is actually playing it as if it's like this chance encounter dark romance thing at the same time.
So like the music and the lyrics should not work together, but they do and it's really interesting.
Interesting, yeah.
Cool.
And I had made mention of the...
I don't know how to term this.
I say chamber music, but you would picture like a group of ladies that would be singing at like a high class party
in like Victorian era times when you hear this type of music.
This would be from the album Madra, M-A-D-R-A from Miranda Sexgarden as well.
This is from '91.
They did this in 1991.
The other album is Carnival of Souls is more 2000s though.
Again, very different.
Like just within nine years, you see how they've evolved from what they're doing here with Madra.
[singing]
That's a lovely roll of the Rs there.
I love that stuff.
I dig on like any layered vocal acapella.
Like anything like that.
I have a lot of respect for it because I know how damn hard it is and I just love the sound of it actually.
Yeah, and therefore...
What are they singing about sweet corn?
Sweet sweet con... or seek sweet content is the name of that song.
Okay.
I had sweet corn and they're going, "Oh, living without it's really hard."
Right.
It's not that good.
True story.
This album, Madra, I actually snuck in a CD changer during a Christmas family get together of super religious side of the family and let it play.
And I had them convinced that they were traditional Christmas songs.
And they didn't pay attention to the lyrics or couldn't quite understand what was going on.
So I snuck in some really nasty content with this album of Madra during a Christmas album.
There's a track called Hail Satan.
No, no, but I mean, when you pay closer attention to the lyrics and you can kind of understand what they're saying, there's some really dark stuff in their undertones, which is what makes them...
Well, goth.
I mean, let's just face it.
But yeah, so and I think probably their most well-known album is probably fairy tales of slavery.
At least that's the one that most people would probably know.
I would definitely recommend Carnival of Souls.
I know that's a 2000 album, you know, and it's one of the later ones.
But I really like what they're doing there where they just kind of...
It's like an amalgamation of all the other things that they had tried and just...
I feel like they really kind of came into their own on that album.
I really enjoy that.
Madra would definitely be more your style because it's all that where they sing exactly like that.
And there's just different lyrics.
And it's just the three of them singing in harmony and acapello and layered singing that is just so amazing.
And describing it as like Victorian era chamber music.
I mean, I don't know how else to describe it, right?
Yeah, yeah, I don't know about Victorian era, but like chamber music, certainly.
But like the emulation of like you could just picture someone singing like that as you walk into like a Victorian party
and they're just sort of, you know, the background music, you know, to kind of keep everybody entertained.
That's just what I picture when I hear that album though.
There's a group in the UK who, I mean, they get popular around Christmas.
And a friend of mine does a podcast called the Punk Rock Skunk podcast.
They go, "Olly, you got a plug."
And they basically, their podcast is him and his misses, they go to a gig
and then they record snippets from the gig and then argue with each other on the way home from the gig.
I love it.
I think there's about three of us that listen.
And it's normally stuff like, they're the biggest Volbeat fans in the world.
They go to like download our big metal festival and stuff like that.
And then they do shows, but they just randomly, I think a couple of Christmases ago just did the medieval babes,
which is basically that it's choral music.
They do carols, but they also do like pop covers and stuff like that,
but all acapella layered style in a chamber style.
And it's, I actually quite liked it.
They have admitted that large on the internet now.
But she really enjoyed that show.
They did awesome.
So yeah, it sounds like you would probably really enjoy Miranda sex gardens work.
So there you go.
I love the name.
If nothing else, right?
I'm not going to lie.
Not going to lie.
When I heard Sleeping Beauty on the compilation and I saw the name,
I went after the band because of the name.
Okay.
Not going to lie.
But what I found was something that was pleasantly surprised.
And what I always do is someone who would try and like,
I suppose various female singer type bands or in the goth genre.
I can't remember the name of the band off the top of my head,
but they were, they were like super popular for a long time.
And it was like a female fronted like goth metal band.
They did that break me up inside or whatever it was.
I can't remember the name of the band.
That's how much they don't matter.
I mean,
Evanescence.
There we go.
They were goth.
They were like pop metal.
Right.
You and I know that,
but the rest of the world apparently didn't get that memo.
Okay.
So whenever someone was trying to be like selling me on Evanescence
and telling me what I should like,
I would then play them Miranda sex garden or some other types of
female fronted, very much goth bands that were at least contemporaries,
if not before Evanescence.
And just kind of like, well, check this out.
Do you like this?
Hymns Nightwish.
Or live Christine would be a good one as well because she's an amazing vocalist.
I don't know if you've ever heard any of her work.
The name's not familiar, but it doesn't mean I haven't heard it.
Okay.
Only reason I know about her is because she was on a compilation.
I bought a bunch of goth compilations way, way back in the day
where every time they came out, it was called the beauty and darkness.
I think I have every fucking volume of that.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's a, I can't, it was a low, it was an American,
I think it may be century media who released those,
but there's like six volumes of beauty and darkness.
And what it is is literally just a compilation of all of the various bands
that they had the rights to or had signed.
And it was like literally just this label sampler that you would be able to get
for less money and they would hope that you would go and buy some of their stuff,
which I ended up doing.
And it's not just goth, beauty and darkness is like goth, doom metal, all that.
I mean, like they had dissection on there for fuck's sake.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
Like, and some black metal and stuff like that.
It was just basically whatever, I think it's century media.
I don't want to say that that's definitely it, but whatever that particular record
labels various catalog was, they would condense it down into samplers of these volumes.
And there was like tons of songs and they would just basically give it away to you
to try and get you exposure for the bands.
Cool.
It was a great way of finding music.
I would often buy like the metal magazines with compilation discs on
in order to find new bands.
I mean, back in the day before I had Apple Music, of course.
But you've set a theme now.
We have to continue this.
I don't know if you realize that.
Oh, really?
Because, yeah, because so far we've had Bullsack and Miranda's Sex Proceed.
So it's got to be somehow a suggestive band title going forward.
Or a good NUN note or something, you know.
Have you heard of anal cunt?
Yes.
I happen to quite highly rate their musical style, actually.
[music]
Anal cunt is one of those bands that challenges you to continue listening to them.
Yes.
But they have some of the best song titles.
Right. The song titles are what come back.
Keep me coming back.
I believe my favorite song title of theirs is Kyle from Incantation Has a Cool Goatee.
Yes.
Oh, yes, yes, I listened to that.
You maybe want to go back now.
That and Pig Destroyer.
Pig Destroyer is another excellent title.
Right. Band title is what I meant.
I'm sorry.
Band name.
Right.
I don't know if I can meet the challenge of getting you naughty themed or suggestive
themed band names.
That's a tail-up.
I'll see what I can find.
I mean, no, it's a challenge accepted.
I'm going to see what I can do on this.
If that's all I need, then I just have to basically say, no, that's suggestive to me.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, God, what have I owed myself up for?
Something very suggestive and it's going to be, well, I mean, for indecent exposure,
it fits, right?
Because the titles of the bands or the names of the bands are going to be indecent.
It's perfect.
Right.
We still don't have an email address.
Everybody can reach me through my Gmail that I use for my regular show, Cinema Psyops Court.
Totally fine with that.
I'm on Twitter, so just, you know, @ me, I guess, or slide into my DMs there.
That's @cort_psyops.
Probably the easiest way to do it.
I'm on Facebook as @cort_psyops.
We all have our various groups as well.
Very easy to find me.
Yeah, I will set up a Facebook page and everything where we launch.
And I swear I'm going to get to doing that farewell OCD episode.
I swear I'm going to do it.
Okay.
But like I said, be good if we reappropriate that feed, to be honest.
Yeah.
Things that sit in there.
I mean, like, I don't, I mean, we'll have to just clear it with which.
I don't foresee him having an issue, but I mean, let's face it.
This bullshit artist, if he were ever, you know, able to do it, he could come along as well.
I mean, all three of us can have a chat.
Anytime.
Yeah.
Totally.
I mean, he is an absolute bullshit artist.
So it's...
You heard his show?
Yeah.
And we absolutely still love him.
We want to bring him back if he can come back for this.
Yeah.
Anytime.
Doors open, sir.
I know you'll be listening to it anyway.
Well, one would hope.
You better fucking know I'm going to go down there and smack it around the face with a wallaby.
I will do no such thing.
I will come to visit and force him to show me all of the places that the Mad Max films were shot.
Ah, well, there you go.
So that, ladies and gentlemen, hitting the two hour mark, we're going to get the fuck out of dodge.
Thank you very much for joining us again.
Please send us any missives you'd like to.
If you know about tartan, Scottish kilt, things like that, and dudes and don'ts of going to Dubai,
then you might just have a chance to get it in by the time I release this, but who knows.
Thank you very much.
We will catch you next time.
I'll do it.
Oh shit, I'm still recording this.
Hi, I'm the dumbest idiot ever.