Welcome to the Soul Touched by Dogs Podcast, the show for dog lovers who
see dogs not as toys or tools, but wise souls worth our respect and care.
I'm an Herrmann, and I'm your host.
I talk to poor some humans, people who do great work for dogs and their people.
So come and join us for today's conversation.
Anke: Hello, and welcome, Heather.
I'm so excited to have you.
It's always fun to talk to you.
Heather: Oh, thank you so much for having me on.
I so appreciate it.
And to spend time with you as well.
Anke: Thank you.
It's always fun.
We haven't been a while, have We yeah.
And and a big cuddle to your sweet test.
I can see her in the background there.
Yeah.
Heather: There she is.
Yeah.
The chilled 1.
Let's say.
Anke: But we're gonna talk about the other 1.
So let's talk before we get into talking about The foster dog.
Give us a, like, a 2 minute bird's eye overview.
Where are you based?
You know?
What's your connection with dogs?
Heather: So I'm currently based in place called Market
Drayton, which is in Shropshire.
It's UK, uh, countryside And, uh, Market Town.
Yeah.
Um, and, um, we do property development.
So this is our kind of house project that we moved into last year, Um, that
we're just finishing off inside the house at the moment and developing that.
So I'm based here for now, Um, and more of that will probably come out as we go on
the conversation as to what that's about.
But, um, yeah.
So I I guess the, uh, did you say what do I do, or did you say Both?
About.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, so I'm all about, Uh, transformation, whether that be
property, animals, or people.
Anke: So Love a good place, Trent.
Heather: The crossroads, yeah, that come all together.
Um, and I typically have been working in this sort of coach mental
space for the last 8 years now.
Um, and I've just started to share those skills with animals, um, which
brings us on to obviously, Um, why we wanted to have this conversation
or even ask you for a random my first experience of fostering a dog.
So you've had
Anke: Tess
Heather: oh, Pesna?
Uh, so Tess is gonna be 7 in July.
Anke: Wow.
Time flies.
It feels like kinda yesterday that she was I know.
I know.
So so what well, first of first of all, what inspired you to
even consider fostering it
Heather: all.
It's such a beautiful question.
And at the time, I probably would not have been able to answer it other than
or go deep with the answer other than I really wanted a second dog for my Tessie
to play with, like a little playmate.
Um, so I was, like, hell bent on having the second dog at some point when the
time is right, um, and that's Where the decision kind of came from originally.
Um, I didn't know when, and I didn't know what type of dog.
Like, all of those things.
I just of had in my mind, it would be really nice to have a playmate for her.
So that's when we kind of started.
So
Anke: so so fosters, and I'm like, let's see how it goes.
And in case of, you know, if if if all goes well, it's gonna be a foster failure.
Heather: I didn't hear any of that because I've literally just
kicked off to hang the front door,
Anke: reel off.
So, basically, the initial plan was, let's just bring her in, see how it
goes, and, you know, if all goes well, it's gonna be a positive failure.
I'm just
Heather: gonna stay.
Um, was it that?
No.
Actually, because of the circumstances of this particular dog, Sparky,
He's, uh, about 3 and a half, and his story um, Tessie's from a
rescue called Sadie's dog rescue.
And I've supported them ever since I got Tessie.
Right?
Because it was really, it was the first opportunity or Place I really
started to trust and love another thing.
Um, so it was like it was always a supporter of them.
I did, Um, do you a big spaathon with them and volunteer to do
that out in, um, Romania, which is where they rescue their dogs.
Um, and, unfortunately, for Sparky's situation, he was put
surrendered by his previous owners, um, because he wasn't getting on
with the resident dog, Um, so much.
And he was very reactive, um, and not necessarily in a really good place.
So after him being there for 3 years, Um, they surrendered him just before
I think it was November last year, and he actually was put in kennels,
like, an hour away from my house.
So it was more circumstantial, like, when he showed up and they asked
for, like, an emergency foster.
Um, I'd already filled out, like, Applications for them, and
I already work as, like, a home checker for the charity anyway.
So I said, oh, do you think, you know, that We could be considered.
Like, do you think because it was perfect because it meant that I could let Tessie
meet him before having him in the house.
Whereas if I just Had 1 that was rescued from Romania straight away,
then it would just be, there's the dog, and keep my fingers crossed
that Tessie would get on with it.
You know?
Um, but she was a decision maker in whether or not he was a go or not.
So that's it was more circumstantial, um, than it was, Um, timing or any
of those things really Thank you.
That led me to this particular dog anyway.
Anke: And so what was the experience like?
Like, you know, like, I think what I'm curious about, was it
what you thought it would be?
And, you know, was it like, what was different?
Like, what were the surprises?
Good or bad and bad.
Whatever.
Heather: Well, the biggest surprise is I have no clue how much it
would really, um, deepen my current relationship with my partner.
Yeah.
Um, not only that deep in the relationship I have with fear, Um, or my own kind of
emotions and feelings, um, and energy.
Um, I also have no idea How fulfilling it would be, you know, to watch someone come
from being really scared of everything, um, Um, and not wanting to leave the house
to I mean, this morning just this morning, I had the kindest guy, um, wanting To
meet the foster dog, even though I said, look, he's not necessarily the best
with males, like, he but he was patient.
He was kind, and and he did.
Like, he got a stroke From Sparky, and I was like, well, that's a milestone.
You know?
Um, I think he's being in this 10 weeks Saturday.
So, You know, the the kind of the lows, um, I think how exhausting
it is in the beginning to really manage and Get to know each other.
Um, I think that's the biggest, like, noticing the signs when
something wasn't quite right or when he was gonna react, Noticing Wade
kind of had too much needed rest.
So, yeah, there were And, also, you know, there were a few moments where
he he didn't really take a liking to my partner, so that was not the best.
So, um, navigating all of that and and and also, you know, coming out the other side.
Wow.
I'm so changed.
Right?
Um, so that was the biggest unexpected kind of Amazing.
It's interesting.
That's
Anke: fascinating.
It's not kind see, this is like yeah.
I love this because it's not kind of what you'd normally expect.
Like, you wouldn't expect that it's, um, yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
Like, it just reminds me when when, like, my second dog you
know, when a 1 dog household turns into a multi dog household?
Yeah.
It's a bigger change
Heather: than you think.
All that.
Yeah.
Mhmm.
So true.
Yeah.
Just having 2 instead of 1 to care for.
Yeah.
And it's the
Anke: relationship between them as well.
How do like, what's the testing of all of this?
Heather: In the beginning, I think she was kind of happy that she had someone to
zoom around the garden with, not happy to share food or sofa cuddles or me, like,
specifically, um, or even, like, time in in the office, like, here chilling.
Um, so, yeah, there was a lot of adjustments for her.
And, like, I wanna say, Tessie, my resident dog, her leadership
Has also been so amazing.
Um, I think to have a foster dog and not a resident dog that can kind of
teach them or Educate them about some of the do's and don'ts around the house
without having it being me all the time.
It's phenomenal to watch that as well, to be honest.
Anke: That that is so true.
Like, actually, it's an experience I've had with with the with my puppy.
Well, she's not a puppy anymore.
But, You know, the sec my second dog, like, literally taught you everything.
It's easy as puppy to raise, but I didn't have to do anything.
So it's like She did it all, and she kinda put up with all the puppy
antics and and taught her whatever.
It's it's, yeah, it's remarkable.
So What did you like, is there something specific you did or, like, how did
you go about helping Have a relax.
Heather: Um, I lit literally took care of myself, um, in terms of,
like, what What's going on with me?
Um, started every day as a new day.
Um, really didn't try my to kind of remove, release, kind of, um, not
bring what happened in the past into the future, um, or cloud my kind of
opinion or thoughts about the dog.
And I guess I said this to someone actually the other week with a client.
I was Speaking to them about fear, and and I said to him, look.
If I showed up to that dog with any fear in me, you know, then he
would be fearful all the time, and it was like I had to start every
day completely in love with him.
Um, and, obviously, for me to do that, I had to really Stay completely in love
with myself and not, like, beat myself up if something didn't go according to plan
or, You know, if there was an incident that I didn't manage correctly or, um, if
I didn't notice the signs in him, um, you know, and then he'd kind of have a little
nip at my partner, Tell my partner off for being in his space and doing something
wrong and because really, you know, it it I think you shared it the other week.
It's like, You know, it's only because they're having a hard
time understanding and not being able to read or know what to do.
And it's like when you get into that place of realizing, like, it's not personal, all
like they're not doing anything to you.
It's just that they're just confused, and everything's new and, uh, like,
adds adds, like, Having more space as well because this dog was kept
creative for 3 years pretty much.
Only had the house or the garden to kind of explore.
So it's wild.
It was very small in the beginning, so it's like, hold on a minute.
If I was, let's say, Going to work for my first day at a new job, it would be
you'd be exhausted by the end of the day because of all the stuff you've got
taken and learned, and it's the Same same for for taking on a foster dog,
especially in the past 2 or 3 weeks.
Anke: Yeah.
I mean, I I like, I think if
Heather: somebody Tessie's barking from the camera.
Anke: I think if if people just Took away this 1 thing, you know,
to remember that the dog never does anything just to piss you off.
Yeah.
I think that that alone is a game changer.
Heather: Yeah.
Yeah.
Hundred percent.
Nothing they do, they don't mean it.
Um, and, obviously, I told you, you know, there was lots
of lessons I learned from it.
And this, you know, 1 specifically, it's You know, they're they're
they're a soul just like we are.
Right?
So, you know, if we want to Past judgment on them or if we want to
write them off because of certain behaviors that they're displaying.
It's like, well, where are you displaying those behaviors in yourself?
Right?
You know?
So it was such big, big movement in our household around Well, if I'm coming
in every day from a place of love, where are you coming in from, dear?
You know?
You know, if they love me and they're kind of reacting to you,
like, what is it you're not?
What's the behavior displaying that's suggesting to them
that that you don't love them?
Right.
You know, it's that type of conversation that are difficult conversations and also
very Exact conversations at the same time.
Anke: That is so true, though, isn't it?
Like, you know, I don't know.
For the, um, you know, for the for the Panic to peace someone.
I spoke to all these people, and there was this, you know, 1 red thread
throughout all the conversations.
Like, you can Bullshit another person.
You cannot bullshit at all.
Right?
They read they read you.
Like, they see through like, you can say whatever you want.
You can Body language, like, no.
No.
They see they they feel what's really going on.
Like, you cannot trick a dog.
Right?
Heather: Oh my god.
And that's completely the thing.
Like, every human being wants to really be seen and really be heard, right, and
acknowledged for that without Be made to feel that there's anything wrong with
them, um, or have it played back to them.
Right?
And it's the same with the dog.
Like, But in the sense that they do really see, like, you and they
really know you and, like, there's definitely no getting away from that.
And it's like when you surrender though to that, when you know,
like, that they know you inside and out, Then you're like, what?
Like, this is literally a mirror of me walking around showing me exactly what
I am and what I'm not and who I'm being.
And And it's like, oh my god.
This is gold.
You know?
Yeah.
There's,
Anke: you know, there's a book by Kevin Beam, Your Dog is Your Mirror.
Right?
It's really fascinating because it catches, like, you know, all
the different, like, each dog.
Mhmm.
Because my initial thing last night, yeah, of course, also
this, but then it's like, yeah.
But now I have 3.
You know?
Like, how and they're all different.
Right?
How can they all be a mirror?
And and, yes, they can because they all mirror different aspects.
You know?
It's really it's really fascinating, and it's absolutely true.
Yeah.
So so given the experience you've had so far, you know, What's the plan?
Like, I mean, are you do you already know how long you keep him?
How long how much longer he's gonna stay with you?
Would you do it again?
Would you, like, consider keeping him?
Like, so what's what are your thoughts with that at the moment?
Heather: Okay.
So the the none.
There isn't any clear answer to those questions.
Um, you know, I'm not gonna lie.
I have to say, you know, I have the support of the the rescue director, like,
on the phone if I needed them, And I had a behaviorist on speed dial for the first 6
weeks pretty much, and and I had meltdowns every week for the first 6 weeks.
Right?
Because There's just there's so unpredictable.
You can't plan.
Right?
You don't know.
Now Probably 2 weeks ago.
Like, literally, I wrote the post for them to advertise for him to
have his find his forever home.
Right.
Because it was that much, so much, like, to manage.
And then since, like, there's It's been another big change corner turned,
um, because like us humans, like, there's massive protests, isn't there?
Or a big fight before we come out the other side.
Um, and so that big fight happened a couple of weeks ago, and I
was like, honestly, this is just gonna like, I've given up.
And then as that minute happened within the day, everything's
completely shifted again.
Um, so it's like a roller coaster, but a roller coaster that there
is still Upgoing upness going on.
Like, you're still, you know, moving, um, and evolving up.
So I think the plan is to get him into a place Where he is very attractive
to, um, being adopted forever by somebody who Has a more quieter life.
Um, someone who has quite a basic simple life that he can slot right into and Not
have too many things going on at once.
You know?
Um, and as I couldn't purely because This house isn't finished.
You know, there's still work that needs to be done.
That sets him up a little bit sometimes.
Um, and we can have a quiet life for a while, and it's like, And he could
have and deserves a quiet life forever.
Do do you see what I mean?
Yeah.
So I think I've never answered this question before.
So I think the long and short of it actually, Anky, thanks for letting
me see this, is, like, he deserves to have the best Forever home.
Um, and our situation and the fact that we move quite a lot right now
It's probably not the best for him.
However, I'm committed to getting him to the best place
so that he can find the best.
You know?
I love
Anke: that.
I love that.
So would you would you do it again?
Heather: Hundred percent.
I mean, this is just the start of my journey because probably
7 weeks And even my partner was like, why why did you do this?
Heather, like crazy.
And I was like, sat there going, I I think I am crazy.
Yeah.
Why did I do this?
And then, like, I literally found myself floored.
I was out walking.
He didn't wanna come that morning for a walk.
So I was just with Tessie, and, um, I was like, of course, this is happening.
Because it's part of my kind of vision.
I want Uh, Wealth of You Lodge where I can bring rescue all types of
different animals that need support and transformation, and people can come.
Group of cottages, luxury, like, it's all part of my vision.
So this is literally just the start of that.
You know, he's the first 1.
Um, and it's funny.
I also told myself, Heather, Skinning the dog doesn't mean that you
have to bring in 1 that's really fearful and aggressive either.
You could rescue 1 that's got disabilities or, you know, so, like,
the range so fast that I'm like, no.
This is just the first 1.
Don't don't tell my fellow, though.
Right?
Anke: We're not gonna you know?
No.
You just don't don't share that episode.
But it makes it makes All the sense in the world.
Like, you know, you said at the beginning, you're about transformation.
Right?
So there's almost like, Yeah.
This dog's gonna be with you whoever, you know, is is gonna be
with you for the transformation.
Mhmm.
You know?
So and when they're ready to you know, I Absolutely love it.
So if, you know, somebody needs their own con transformation or, you know,
wants to get in touch with you and find out more about what you do And and your
vision with the cottages and all of that because that sounds delightful.
Um, where can people go and find out more and get in touch
Heather: with you?
Oh, I love connecting with people on Facebook.
It's just simple Heather Eggington.
Um, I'm also on LinkedIn.
Um, probably more professional stuff on LinkedIn.
Um, and they can also subscribe to my website if they wanna get involved with
more vulnerable, open kind of Share stories like this 1 today, for example.
I did share a bit of my fostering dog journey with them.
I actually said that I've got the biggest challenging client
yet, Um, I think was the title.
Right?
So, um, so they can go to my website, which is also heather eggington dot com.
So They can find me there, um, and connect however they wish.
Um, Yeah.
Just Even Obviously,
Anke: the links are gonna be, you know, in the show notes below this
video if you'll, uh, watching on the you know, through the newsletter.
So it's gonna make easy to find you.
Heather: Oh, thank you.
Thanks so much
Anke: for sharing this because it's like, I'm always fascinated
with people who foster.
So it's the first time that I had, like, a chance to dig in there and and find
out what's going on behind the scenes.
So thank you for sharing
Heather: that.
No.
Honest Anky, honestly, thank you.
Like, Some of the questions, I haven't really sat with myself on.
So just the fact that you really brought them to the table and And
allowed me to really just express what was coming through in that moment.
This is brilliant.
And for getting the dogs to sleep.
Right?
Anke: Yeah.
I mean, I think this is like the that's the I don't know whether you've
heard of the the trust technique.
Like, that's that's what this is all about.
Like, the present moment, and I think when we're both really present, the
dog drop, the dog's drop around you.
Like, it's it's Reliable.
They don't promise.
We are.
Done.
Awesome.
Well, thank you.
Heather: Oh, my.
Thank you, love.
Heather Egginton
Thanks so much for listening.
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That's A N k E at Soul touched by dogs.com.