MARK: Welcome back to 'Happening in Pocatello,' the only podcast that keeps you updated on the Gate City while simultaneously questioning why you'd want to be. I'm Mark, and as always, I'm joined by the ever-chipper Joleen.

JOLEEN: Chipper is a strong word. Let's go with 'present.' It's Monday, February 2nd, 2026, and I've already met my quota for human interaction for the week. But for you, our dear listeners, I'll make an exception. What fresh hell are we starting with, Mark?

MARK: We're starting with a bit of local pride, actually. It seems not everyone is content with just surviving Pocatello; some are out there achieving things on a national stage. A singer originally from Pocatello, Jessica E. Jones, is apparently up for a Grammy.

JOLEEN: Get the fuck out. A Grammy? Are we sure it's not a coupon for a free Frosty at Wendy's? That feels more on-brand for local achievements. What's her story? Did she write a heart-wrenching ballad about trying to merge onto I-15 during construction?

MARK: The details are a bit sparse in the local coverage, which is classic, but the headline is 'From Pocatello to the Grammys'. It seems she found her voice here before moving on to bigger and better things, as is the tradition for anyone with ambition. We're like a talent incubator that forgets to close the door.

JOLEEN: So we're taking credit for her success even though she had to leave to get it? That's the most Pocatello thing I've ever heard. Good for her, though. Seriously. I hope she wins and thanks everyone *except* the wind for her success. That unrelenting, soul-crushing wind.

MARK: Another big headline, and I use the term 'big' loosely, involves a series of protests and counter-protests across Eastern Idaho regarding ICE. There was a peaceful vigil planned, and in other parts of the region, things got a little more heated. It's a national issue bubbling up in our backyard.

JOLEEN: Oh, fantastic. National politics right here on our doorstep. Can't people just argue on Facebook like normal, well-adjusted Idahoans? I just want to go to the grocery store without getting a lecture on immigration policy from a guy in a pickup truck.

MARK: It seems direct action is the new angry comment thread. So, between the Grammys and protests, Pocatello is feeling quite cosmopolitan this week. It's a nice change of pace from the usual 'cow loose on highway' story.

JOLEEN: Don't get used to it. The universe, and this city, has a way of balancing things out. Tomorrow the top headline will be about a city council debate over the appropriate length of lawn grass. I guarantee it.

MARK: Speaking of which, let's move on to the crime blotter. Or, more accurately, the lack thereof. After a few weeks of notable arrests and crashes, it seems the criminal element of Pocatello has decided to take a little vacation.

JOLEEN: Are you telling me there's been no good crime? No meth-fueled joyrides, no disputes over stolen lawn gnomes, no one trying to pay for a value meal with a live badger? What the hell is going on? Did they finally run out of things to steal?

MARK: I've scoured the reports and it's disappointingly quiet. The most exciting thing I could find was a shooting incident in Boise, which doesn't help us. It's like all our local troublemakers got together and decided to collectively work on their anger management issues. It's profoundly off-brand for us.

JOLEEN: Maybe it's the weather. This weirdly mild winter has everyone confused. Criminals can't properly plan a heist if they don't know whether to wear a ski mask for anonymity or for warmth. It's a logistical nightmare for the modern ne'er-do-well.

MARK: That must be it. They're all at home, watching the forecast, their crowbars sitting idle. The police are probably getting so bored they're just pulling people over for 'aggressive use of a turn signal' or having a 'suspiciously clean windshield'.

JOLEEN: I'd bet money the cops are just driving around, looking for expired registration tags like it's the goddamn Super Bowl. It's their time to shine. 'Got another one, boys! This mom of three is a menace to society, her tags expired Tuesday!' The thrill of the chase.

MARK: It's a public service, really. Without the occasional high-speed chase or botched robbery, we have nothing to talk about. Come on, Pocatello criminals, pick up the slack. Do it for the local media. Do it for the content.

JOLEEN: Please, for the love of god, somebody do something stupid. Just make sure it's not violent. Like, try to rob the bank with a strongly worded letter. Something with a little panache. Is that too much to ask?

MARK: From the world of law and order to the world of mandatory learning, let's check in with the Pocatello-Chubbuck School District. Much like the crime beat, there's a stunning lack of dramatic news this week. No school board screaming matches, no emergency budget meetings, nothing.

JOLEEN: Wait, so the schools are just... schooling? Kids are learning, teachers are teaching, and the administrative building hasn't been overthrown by a faction of disgruntled lunch ladies? This is the most shocking news of the day. It's unnatural.

MARK: It's an eerie calm. After all the talk of closures and budget shortfalls, you'd expect some kind of follow-up. But no. Silence. It makes you wonder what's happening behind the scenes. Are they secretly replacing the curriculum with advanced nap-taking and recess strategy?

JOLEEN: Honestly, that would be an improvement. I think being a teacher these days has to be the most thankless job on the planet. You're part educator, part therapist, part riot control, and for what? A salary that barely covers your daily caffeine addiction and the cost of buying your own damn school supplies.

MARK: And you have to deal with the kids. Have you seen kids lately? They're like tiny, surly adults with unfettered access to the internet. I can't imagine trying to teach long division to a kid who's already seen things on TikTok that would make a hardened sailor blush.

JOLEEN: Exactly. You're trying to explain the Pythagorean theorem, and some little asshole in the back is fact-checking you on his phone and then asking why he needs to learn it when he's going to be a professional influencer who unboxes toys for a living. It's a losing battle.

MARK: God bless the teachers of School District 25. They're the real heroes. They walk into those buildings every day, armed with nothing but a lesson plan and a dwindling sense of hope, and they still manage to mold the next generation of Pocatello residents.

JOLEEN: A generation that will be perfectly prepared to complain about the lack of a Trader Joe's and the price of real estate. The cycle continues. Let's just hope they learn how to use a goddamn roundabout. That's all I ask of our education system.

MARK: Alright, let's talk about something a little more savory. For our restaurant review this week, we decided to venture into the world of fast-casual Hawaiian food. We're talking about Mo'Bettahs.

JOLEEN: Hawaiian food in the middle of land-locked, high-desert Idaho. What could possibly go wrong? I went in with the lowest of expectations. I was picturing a pineapple thrown on a hamburger and someone vaguely yelling 'Aloha' in my direction.

MARK: And to be fair, it's not exactly a trip to Oahu. But for what it is--a chain restaurant serving the classic Hawaiian plate lunch--it's surprisingly solid. You get your choice of meat, like teriyaki chicken or kalua pork, two scoops of rice, and a scoop of macaroni salad. It's a formula, and they stick to it.

JOLEEN: The mac salad is the real test of any plate lunch, and theirs is... fine. It's creamy, it's cold, it's unapologetically bland, which is kind of how it's supposed to be. It's there to be a creamy, carby counterpoint to the salty meat and the sticky rice. It's a supporting actor, not the star.

MARK: I had the teriyaki chicken, the classic 'katsu' chicken. It was crispy, not too greasy, and the sauce was decent. The portions are huge. It's the kind of meal that makes you want to immediately take a four-hour nap. It's heavy, no-nonsense comfort food.

JOLEEN: I got the kalua pork. It was smoky and salty, as advertised. My main complaint is that the whole experience feels very... efficient. It's an assembly line. You're in and out in five minutes. There's no soul. It's the fast-foodification of a cultural dish.

MARK: I don't think anyone is going to Mo'Bettahs for an authentic, soulful cultural experience. They're going because they want a massive plate of rice, meat, and macaroni salad that will keep them full until tomorrow. And in that regard, it delivers spectacularly.

JOLEEN: I guess. It's fine. It's a perfectly adequate way to ingest 1,200 calories in a single sitting. But is it a place I'm dreaming about going back to? Not really. It fills a void, both in my stomach and in the local dining scene, but it doesn't exactly make my heart sing. It's the missionary position of local restaurants.

MARK: A glowing endorsement. From food to physical exertion, let's turn to local sports. While ISU basketball has been the main story, there's another event happening at the ICCU Dome this week that doesn't involve dribbling. Montana State's track and field team is in town for the Stacy Dragila Invitational.

JOLEEN: Track and field. You mean people running in circles and throwing heavy objects for fun? My kind of sport. Stacy Dragila, though, that's a name. A Pocatello legend. It's nice they named an event after someone who actually accomplished something on a global scale.

MARK: She's an Olympic gold medalist in the pole vault, for anyone who doesn't know. The meet gives the MSU team, and others, a chance to compete in the ICCU Dome, which is where the Big Sky Championships will be held later this month. So it's a bit of a dress rehearsal.

JOLEEN: A dress rehearsal for running, jumping, and throwing. I hope they've been practicing. I'm just imagining the pole vaulters. You have to be a special kind of crazy to do that. You sprint as fast as you can, jam a giant stick into a box, and just hope it flings your body over a bar without impaling you.

MARK: It's an incredible display of athleticism. And the throwers, too. The sheer power it takes to hurl a shot put or a weight is insane. These are not small human beings. The Bobcat men's team is bringing guys to compete in the weight throw to kick things off.

JOLEEN: So we've got a bunch of finely tuned athletes from Montana coming to our town to compete. This is great for the local economy. All the hotel rooms will be booked and the local restaurants will be completely sold out of chicken breasts and broccoli for the entire weekend.

MARK: It's always good to have these events in town. It brings in people, shows off the university's facilities, and gives us something to talk about besides basketball for a change. So, good luck to all the athletes. Try not to break anything, either yourselves or the dome.

JOLEEN: And for the love of god, someone check on the high jump landing pad. I have this irrational fear that one of these days, an athlete is going to clear the bar and land on a pad that's just filled with old mattresses and broken dreams.

MARK: Let's move from the indoor track to the great outdoors and our Community Events calendar. If you're looking for an excuse to get out of the house this week, there are a few options that don't involve watching other people exercise.

JOLEEN: Thank god. My preferred form of exercise is walking to the fridge and lifting a fork to my mouth. What wholesome activities does our fair city have planned for us?

MARK: On Wednesday, February 4th, there's a 'Community Night at the Nordic Center' up at Mink Creek. They're offering free trail passes and half-priced rentals for skiing and snowshoeing from 4 to 9 PM. There's even a friendly ski race and a potluck in the yurt.

JOLEEN: A potluck in a yurt? That sounds dangerously close to something a happy, well-adjusted person would do. Free trail passes is tempting, though. I could snowshoe about fifty feet, complain about the cold, and then go straight for the potluck. That's my kind of outdoor adventure.

MARK: On Thursday, for the younger crowd, the Girl Scouts are hosting an 'Animal Dance Party'. The description invites girls to 'dance, dress up, and go wild!' It's probably a lot more wholesome than the adult version of an animal dance party.

JOLEEN: You think? I'm just picturing a bunch of six-year-olds dressed as cheetahs and squirrels doing the Macarena. Which, frankly, sounds more entertaining than most of the clubs downtown. Less sticky, too.

MARK: And for those who enjoy the thrill of civic procedure, the City Council has their regular meeting on Thursday evening at 6 PM. You can go and watch them approve minutes and debate zoning variances. It's the rock and roll lifestyle.

JOLEEN: Only in Pocatello is a city council meeting considered a viable form of evening entertainment. But hey, somebody's gotta keep an eye on them. Otherwise, we'll wake up one day and find out they've sold the naming rights of Ross Park to a cryptocurrency company.

MARK: Now for the Weekend Guide. If you've managed to survive the week, here's what you can look forward to from Friday, February 6th through Sunday the 8th.

JOLEEN: Lay it on me. I need to know the best ways to avoid my responsibilities and pretend I have a social life for a couple of days.

MARK: Friday night has a couple of options. For the business-minded, there's a Chamber Networking Lunch sponsored by Simplot. Or, if you'd rather not talk about work, Wanderlust has live music from 7 to 9:30 PM. Also on Friday evening, ISU is hosting a 3-on-3 open volleyball event at the Reed Gym from 6 to 8 PM.

JOLEEN: 3-on-3 volleyball sounds like a recipe for a pulled hamstring and a shattered ego. Live music at Wanderlust is more my speed. I can sit in a corner, nurse a single beer for two hours, and silently judge everyone else's life choices.

MARK: Saturday is the big day for outdoor events. Up at the Mink Creek Nordic Center, they're having a 'Candlelight Ski & Snowshoe' from 6 to 9 PM. They line the trail with luminary bags so you can ski or snowshoe by candlelight.

JOLEEN: Okay, I'll admit, that actually sounds kind of magical. It's also a fantastic opportunity to trip over a root in the dark and get a face full of snow. It's a fine line between romantic and disastrous. I like those odds.

MARK: Also on Saturday, for the politically engaged, Senator James Ruchti is hosting a Town Hall meeting at the City Council Chambers from 4 to 6 PM. A chance to ask your elected officials the tough questions.

JOLEEN: Like, 'Why is my internet so slow?' and 'Can we please get a Cheesecake Factory?' Those are the issues that matter to the people. I hope someone live-streams it. I love the awkward silence after a politician gives a non-answer to a direct question.

MARK: And that seems to wrap up the major events. A pretty decent mix of outdoor fun, civic duty, and indoor volleyball-related injuries. A classic Pocatello weekend.

JOLEEN: Sounds like I'll be at the candlelight ski, trying to look majestic while I slowly freeze to death. It's all about the aesthetic.

MARK: Time for everyone's favorite part of the show: the weather. This is where I get to play meteorologist and tell you exactly how the sky plans to disappoint us over the next seven days. This forecast is for Monday, February 2nd through next Monday, February 9th.

JOLEEN: Let me guess. It's going to be cold, with a chance of wind that makes you question every decision that led you to live here. Am I close?

MARK: You're not wrong, but there are nuances. Kicking things off today and into tonight, we're looking at partly cloudy skies with a high around 41 and a low tonight of 25. So, deceptively mild during the day.

JOLEEN: Ah, yes. 'Deceptively mild.' Also known as 'Fool's Spring.' It's just warm enough to make you think about putting away your winter coat, right before the next arctic blast hits and reminds you of your foolish optimism.

MARK: Tuesday will be mostly sunny with a high near 43, so another pleasant day. But things get interesting Tuesday night. The clouds roll in and there's a 20 percent chance of snow. The low will be around 28.

JOLEEN: A 20 percent chance of snow. In Pocatello, that means we could get nothing, a light dusting, or a full-on blizzard that shuts down the city for a week. It's the Russian roulette of weather forecasting.

MARK: Wednesday continues that trend with a 20 percent chance of snow, a high near 40, and mostly cloudy skies. The rest of the week looks pretty stable. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday will all be partly sunny with highs climbing from the low 40s to the mid-40s by the weekend. Overnight lows will be in the mid-to-upper 20s.

JOLEEN: So, basically, it's going to be boring. A couple of days of teasing us with snow that probably won't happen, followed by the same repetitive, soul-crushingly gray and kinda-cold weather we always have. At least it's not 10 below. I'll take it.

MARK: Next up, let's talk about the constant source of frustration and orange cones in our lives: road construction. Or, for once, the lack of any new, major projects to complain about.

JOLEEN: What do you mean? Has the city run out of perfectly good roads to tear up? I find that hard to believe. There must be some unsuspecting residential street somewhere that's about to be reduced to rubble for the next six months.

MARK: It seems that with the I-15/I-86 interchange project mostly in the rearview mirror, and the Center Street Underpass work now just a part of the landscape, there are no new major traffic disruptions on the immediate horizon. It's a bit unsettling, honestly.

JOLEEN: I don't like it. It's too quiet. A Pocatello without a baffling new detour is like a day without wind. It feels wrong. What are all the construction companies doing? Are their employees just sitting at home, polishing their shovels, waiting for the call?

MARK: There are some long-term plans in the works, of course. Some documents mention safety improvements on Flandro Drive and various greenway trail extensions planned for 2026, but nothing is breaking ground this week to ruin your commute.

JOLEEN: I'm sure they'll think of something soon. They're probably in a lab right now, designing a new form of five-way intersection that's controlled by a combination of traffic lights, stop signs, and a confused-looking guy waving a flag. They have to keep us on our toes.

MARK: It's the city's way of building character. They're not just paving roads; they're forging resilient, patient, and perpetually annoyed citizens. It's a long-term investment in our collective misery.

JOLEEN: Well, I, for one, will enjoy this brief respite. I'm going to drive around town using the most direct routes possible, just because I can. It'll be a glorious, fleeting moment of freedom before the next wave of orange barrels descends upon us.

MARK: And now, let's dive into everyone's favorite topic of despair and unattainable dreams: Pocatello real estate. The story remains largely the same: a market that can't quite decide if it's hot, cold, or just lukewarm and kind of sad.

JOLEEN: Ah, yes, the housing market. Where a drafty shack built in 1950 with a questionable foundation is listed as a 'charming vintage starter home' for the low, low price of your firstborn child and a lifetime of debt.

MARK: To that point, the city recently held an open house for its new 'Housing Plan.' It's an official strategy to address our housing needs. I'm sure it's full of innovative ideas like 'build more houses' and 'hope people can afford them'.

JOLEEN: A plan! How exciting. Was it printed on a glossy brochure that I can use to wipe away my tears after looking at Zillow? It's not a lack of planning that's the problem. It's the fact that wages haven't kept up with the cost of a two-by-four since the Reagan administration.

MARK: On the development front, there is a new community taking shape in Chubbuck called Northside Crossing. It's being pitched as a modern, walkable community with smart design, green spaces, and community pools. It sounds very utopian.

JOLEEN: A 'walkable community.' In Chubbuck. The place where you have to drive a mile to get a gallon of milk. Are the sidewalks going to be air-conditioned in the summer and heated in the winter? Because otherwise, I don't see it happening. It's a nice idea, but it feels like putting lipstick on a pig.

MARK: The marketing materials are certainly optimistic. They talk about 'forward-thinking development' and creating the 'community of the future.' It's designed for pedestrians first, which is a bold strategy in a place where the car is king, queen, and the entire royal court.

JOLEEN: Look, if they build some decent, reasonably priced houses, that's great. But all this talk of 'smart technology' and 'programmed activities' just sounds like a more expensive HOA fee to me. I don't need my neighborhood to plan a goddamn festival. I just need my toilet to flush and my roof not to leak. Is that too much to ask for under half a million dollars?

MARK: And on that note of cheerful optimism, that just about wraps up our tour of everything happening in Pocatello this week. It's been a ride, from Grammy nominations to the existential quiet of our crime and construction scenes.

JOLEEN: It's been a week. A testament to the fact that even when nothing much is happening, there's still plenty to be cynical about. It's our gift, really. We find the dark cloud in every silver lining.

MARK: It's what we do best. If you have a story we missed, a complaint about our tone, or just want to yell into the void, you can send us an email. The address is pocatello@thehappeningnetwork.com. We probably won't read it, but the thought is nice.

JOLEEN: And do all that podcast shit. Like, subscribe, comment, leave a five-star review telling us how much you hate us but can't stop listening. It feeds our fragile egos and justifies the time we spend doing this instead of having real hobbies.

MARK: Until next time, try to enjoy Pocatello. Or at least, you know, tolerate it. We'll be back next week with more news, more sarcasm, and probably a new road closure to complain about.

JOLEEN: Stay safe. Don't do anything we wouldn't do. Which, admittedly, leaves you with a lot of options. Bye, dickheads.