Fire the Canon

Velcome, velcome, velcome to part one of Dracula. Possibly the most famous Gothic horror novel of all time, Bram Stoker’s masterpiece is, for the uninitiated at least, a surprisingly complex read full of uncomfortable yet strangely compelling eroticism! We cover chapters 1-9 and tell our weekly stories. Theo has no idea how he’s supposed to edit this. Jackie meets a new friend and promptly throws her under the bus. Rachel doesn’t think people really need to know about the Germans. Topics include: birthday butt-grabs, Codies, friendless chickens, Amanda Bynes, a knock-down drag-out fight about sons of dragons/devils, dying like a man, Pusha T, paprika troubles, Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It, a long-suffering karaoke bar employee, Drac ‘n John, Vlad the Impaler, opening a can of wamp-ass, Kim K, Kanye, and North West, cowboy puns, and important gay stuff.

Content warnings: sexual assault, violence, death, baseless accusations of skeeziness leveled against many different nationalities

Show Notes

Velcome, velcome, velcome to part one of Dracula. Possibly the most famous Gothic horror novel of all time, Bram Stoker’s masterpiece is, for the uninitiated at least, a surprisingly complex read full of uncomfortable yet strangely compelling eroticism! We cover chapters 1-9 and tell our weekly stories. Theo has no idea how he’s supposed to edit this. Jackie meets a new friend and promptly throws her under the bus. Rachel doesn’t think people really need to know about the Germans. Topics include: birthday butt-grabs, Codies, friendless chickens, Amanda Bynes, a knock-down drag-out fight about sons of dragons/devils, dying like a man, Pusha T, paprika troubles, Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It, a long-suffering karaoke bar employee, Drac ‘n John, Vlad the Impaler, opening a can of wamp-ass, Kim K, Kanye, and North West, cowboy puns, and important gay stuff.

Content warnings: sexual assault, violence, death, baseless accusations of skeeziness leveled against many different nationalities
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What is Fire the Canon?

Prefer your books in comedy form, but still want to sound smart at parties? We got you. Discover the hilarity hidden in the classics with new episodes every Thursday.