Show Notes
The parent had lost a child nearly 10 years ago but was still buying toys and filling the late child's bedroom with them. Dr. Obinna Ikwechegh of Novant Health explains how therapy got the patient to a better place and how therapy helps us work through the problems and challenges in our lives.
Transcript:
Roland
0:07 Welcome to Novant Health Healthy Headlines podcast. This is Roland Wilkerson. Research shows that four out of 10 Americans see a counselor at some point in their lives. And among college students, there's an unprecedented rise and demand for counseling services. To help understand how counseling works, we speak with nobody how psychiatry, Dr. Obi Ikwechegh, a leader in behavioral health was also treated many patients over the years. We started with a story about a patient he was able to help discuss a few misconceptions about therapy, and learn about a few steps we can all take when we're feeling overwhelmed by life. Be sure to stick around at the end, where we reveal the TV show Ikwechegh says best captures the therapy experience. This one surprised. You can find stories like this and hundreds of others by searching Novant Health and Healthy Headlines. Thanks for listening.
What's an example? Or what do you think, are a few of the most misunderstood aspects of therapy that the general public,
Dr. Obinna Ikwechegh
1:14 I like that, because I'm running over my head of all the things that people misunderstand about therapy. One of the most common misconceptions is that therapy is just going to talk about your problems. Or your therapist is just like a friend that your pain. None of that is true. I'm talking about your problems in the social context is helpful, because it lets you broaden yourself. Therapy, on the other hand, is designed to be solutions focused, there is a goal that you're trying to achieve. Now, the goal might not be to solve the problem, the goal might be to set that the problem is not changing, and identify ways to deal with that problem.
What's an example of a patient you were able to help? Significant issue in their life?
Dr. Obinna Ikwechegh
2:16 Oh, I have so many of those. But one that really sticks out to me was several years ago. I was in an office based practice, and had this patient, he had lost a child in a tragic accident. But part of the Baxter was this child was at a local hospital four months required to feeding and was in and out of consciousness for a protracted period of time, that child ended up dying. By the time I was seeing this patient that had been about eight or 10 years in the past. But he still kept that child's room almost frozen at the time that the child died. So there was still blood clothes on the bed, there was two tubes that have been associated with the hospital stay. But more importantly, for all those years after the child died, he would go out and buy toys that fit with the child's age when the child died. When I met him, he came with a family member and his family members said that room is piled high with things. And I just think this is abnormal. We identify that some of the things he needed was being able to walk through his grief and re engage with live without being frozen in this time that his child has died. And we began to look at some of the distortions of his thinking, for instance, is thinking that his child was somehow still in that room, that his child was somehow still this nine year old person at this time, the child if the child was still alive would have been about 19 or 18. And progressively, he began to take steps to change this thinking, you recognize, yes, my child had died. Yes, that was a traumatic thing. But I'm still alive. I have other children that I have to attend to. He progressed to the point where he was able to engage in a charity that you know, help children who were sick. For me, that was some level of altruism, that took him away from this deep place of loss, he went to the point where he was able to donate all this toys to needy children. And by the time he exited out of therapy, I wouldn't say he had forgotten that he lost a child tragically, but he had achieved significant normalcy, because he had been able to address the distortions in his thinking, his behavior consequently had changed. And I like to say that his emotional state had changed as a result of all this other things that he had done. I see that as an example of therapy being successful, and therapy getting important to maintaining function.
Wow, that's, that's very powerful. It must be, it must be gratifying to actually make a difference in somebody's life like that.
Dr. Obinna Ikwechegh
5:39 Absolutely. I'd say that in my line of work, some, some things are tough. There are people who have been through therapy and just haven't been able to navigate to a better place. But instances like this actually, give me the joy to show up to walk over there.
What's in it example? Or what do you think, are a few of the most misunderstood aspects of therapy, that the general public,
Dr. Obinna Ikwechegh
6:08 I like that, because I'm running over my head of all the things that people misunderstand about therapy, one of the most common misconceptions is that therapy is just going to talk about your problems, or your therapist is just like a friend that your pain, none of that is true. I'm talking about your problems in the social context is helpful, because it lets you bought in yourself. Therapy, on the other hand, is designed to be solutions focused, there is a goal that you're trying to achieve. Now, the goal might not be to solve the problem, the goal might be to a set, that the problem is not changing, and identify ways to deal with that problem. And therapy can doesn't always feel good. You know, there's a concept that therapy, when we think of therapy as the word, it might evoke, improvement, and feeling good, and being okay. Sometimes therapy is painful. An individual who has experienced significant trauma may have repressed all that. And once they get into therapy, all of that comes flowing out again. So those are things that people have to keep in mind before engaging in therapy, I don't think that therapy ever creates a situation of Aha, I never knew that about myself. Most of the things we realize in therapy, we had some concept about therapy just allows a safe place for us to process things objectively, and come to some resolution about this things.
So not everybody has access to a psychiatrist like you? What would you say to people who find themselves overcome with depressing or negative feelings? What can they do in the moment, to regain a sense of equilibrium and not not feel overcome by those feelings.
Dr. Obinna Ikwechegh
8:26 You know, try to get sleep, try to get some exercise in, engage in those social arrangements outside of work. A some kind of TV network around you engage in exercise, things like that on a regular basis, kind of retrain your brain function. And that goes along with what you feel. Let me just say this, there's a saying that birds can fly over your head, you're responsible if you let them build a nest in your head. I believe the negative thoughts can come to us, you know, periodically, but you're responsible if you let them become entrenched, and begin to affect your function.
Very good.
I've always thought to, to sit all day and listen to other people's problems must be exhausting. Is it?
Dr. Obinna Ikwechegh
9:36 I'm trying to carefully answer that. But frankly, it is it's human psyche. I trained at big Forest University and several years ago, part of the support for trainees was having a therapist. So you have a therapist that you could process the things that you were going through. And I believe that people who do this kind of work should have a therapist, I think it will be helpful to process your thoughts to process in your projection of in your disappointments, when situations until your workspace and the impact of your workspace and us. So I think this is a long winded way of saying yes, that can be overwhelming. But then again, we are trained to do what we do. And we're trained to separate ourselves motions from the walk that we do.
And my final question is, and I hate to ask it, but I've just got to I know you get it a lot. Do you in your own practice or in your practices over the years, do patients have the option to lie on a couch and talk or is that? Is that from way back when?
Dr. Obinna Ikwechegh
11:00 No, I think that's from way back when and I think that's on TV shows.
All right. Very good. Well, thank you so much. This has been incredibly illuminating.
Dr. Obinna Ikwechegh
11:09 Thank you very much. Appreciate the time you took for it. Thank you.