Vanessa (00:01.308) Welcome to the shrink down today we're going to be talking about dating trends and teens and young adults but before gettinginto today's topic let's do our four minute faves. Anybody want to start today. Wilhelmina (00:12.212) I can get us started. I was not sure I was going to do this one because it's a little bit of a mixed bag, but I've been watching Ransom Canyon on Netflix. This is the latest 10 episode sort of limited series has Josh Duhamel and Minka Kelly. I mean, he has aged well. Lauren (00:27.058) Thank Teri (00:35.209) I'm a Josh Jume- I'm a Josh Jumele fan. Lauren (00:35.927) Kelly, yes. Vanessa (00:36.167) I saw the trailer for that. Vanessa (00:41.192) Gosh darn it! Gosh darn it! Wilhelmina (00:42.265) I don't Lauren (00:42.407) Yeah. Teri (00:42.804) Darn it. you Wilhelmina (00:47.432) And Minka Kelly for any Friday Night Lights fans. also, think she was also in the show Euphoria, which I hadn't watched, but I think she was got some praise there. So this is a little bit of a mixed bag. It is a very fun watch, but if you think you're going to be watching the next Yellowstone, that is not what this is. It's trying to be, but it's not. Yeah. Yeah. Lauren (00:50.833) Yes. Vanessa (01:14.078) That's the vibe I got when I said it's not. So that's good to know, okay. Lauren (01:15.803) Yeah. Wilhelmina (01:17.048) So what I felt like when I was watching it is one of the writers from Hallmark watched Yellowstone and was like, I think I can do something with this. And then kind of took the plot for Yellowstone, but then put it in a Hallmark blender and blended it up. Then they got Josh Duhamel and Minka Kelly to come on board and then Netflix bought it. And then that's what we're watching. So we're having very predictable storylines. Lauren (01:26.649) Yeah Wilhelmina (01:44.526) We know what's going to happen with the romance. Big, bold, like characters who are whatever, then steamy and mysterious, but you know, whatever. It's very light. But that being said, who doesn't love a good Hallmark movie every once in a while? And I just finished watching The Pit, which was very heavy. Awesome, but very heavy. So I sort of was like, I was... Lauren (02:03.516) Yeah. Lauren (02:08.612) Okay, we needed light. Wilhelmina (02:12.105) unbraiding my daughter's hair braids from Jamaica yesterday for three hours and needed something on and I put that on and it set the bill. So I'm in it to the end now, about three, four episodes in, but so it is fun, but do not go in thinking you're gonna be watching any like Emmy nominated series or Yellowstone. It is not that, but it is fun. Yeah. Lauren, what about you? Lauren (02:17.728) Ha! Vanessa (02:37.044) Good to know. Lauren (02:37.884) Good. Okay, so I'm sharing this. I know this feels like a little boring, but for me, it was a really good find. And so if you're like me, and you have a hard time with some of this kind of stuff, I have been looking for a new good set of sheets, like bed sheets for what feels like forever. I was somebody that loved the Bed Bath & Beyond cooling sheets like back in the day. And now the Bed Bath & Beyond is no longer. Teri (02:53.427) Mmm. Teri (03:05.203) No. Wilhelmina (03:05.997) You Lauren (03:06.174) because I've always slept really hot. And so I've gone through all sorts of different, like the ones that everybody says on Amazon are the best ones ever. I hated, they pilled for me. Like I've done the Costco ones that everybody loves and they're fine, whatever. Anyway, last month when Target was having their circle days or I think that's what they're called, circle days, I bought the Target cooling sheets. Okay, so they're the Threshold brand and we'll obviously, Vanessa (03:06.516) you Lauren (03:35.49) link them, but they're the cool technology or whatever. On the circle day, they were like one of the highlighted deals or something like that. So I've used them now for a month because I wanted to make sure I was like using and washing before I would actually recommend them. They're so good. I love them. So I highly recommend the Target. It's called cool tensile, T-E-N-C-E-L. I'm sure that's just their phrase for like the cooling technology or whatever. But I love them. And they're like a fairly affordable price point. And so they make me happy. yes. So I'm finally sharing after several washes. I wanted to make sure I was like, you know, washing and using and making sure they are actually holding up and they're really good. So anyway. Vanessa (04:09.172) Hahaha! Wilhelmina (04:09.847) I it. Vanessa (04:15.453) Yeah. Vanessa (04:19.672) I might have to look into those because I keep dropping the temperature and my husband is like, he's like, I know you're going through some things. I know you're going through some things. He's like, but our bill. Lauren (04:22.716) Well, that's so I. So since I was little, I have been a hot sleeper, but these are really good for that purpose. Yes. It's 35 in here, Shivering. Oh, so funny. Teri (04:30.451) Mm-hmm. Teri (04:38.997) You Wilhelmina (04:41.31) Mark's over there like in sweatshirts and a hoodie Vanessa (04:43.252) He's always been like that and now it's sober. I mean, he literally will sleep in like sweatpants and a hoodie and like two blankets. And I'm like, what are you doing? Meanwhile, I'm like half naked with a sheet on. And I'm like cranking it down. He's like, he's so cold. Lauren (04:55.57) See, so this might be good. that's funny. Terry, what about you? Wilhelmina (05:01.837) god. Teri (05:04.789) Mine is a show also. It is based on the Karen Reed Boston cop case, real life crime that happened in 2022. It's a show on Max. It's a short series called A Body in the Snow. And every now and then one or two true crime cases that is happening currently sort of catches my interest right now. So this is a little bit of a dark darker one, but the Idaho case. Wilhelmina (05:33.239) So I'll like it. Teri (05:33.395) Yes. So those college kids who were murdered in Idaho, that trial is coming up. They're in the pretrial phase right now and there's a lot going on. But the Karen Reed case is what I'm talking about. And that's what the show on Max, the short series follows. She is a woman. She's currently 44. So this happened a couple of years ago in 2022 of January. She had been dating a Boston police officer for about two years. Lauren (05:35.531) yeah. Yeah. Vanessa (05:37.492) yes. Teri (05:59.521) and he was found in the front lawn of a fellow police officer's house after a night of all of them being out drinking together. And Karen Reed, in my opinion, is his girlfriend, has been framed with hitting him. But it sounds like something much more nefarious occurred in the house that the people who were there partying claims he never entered. But he was found. The original trial happened. I believe it was a mistrial. We are now in trial number two. Lauren (06:27.378) Yeah. Teri (06:27.727) And every day, if you follow any of this, there are updates and it is fascinating. There again, this falls under truth is stranger than fiction. You could not even make up the characters and all of the happenings with this case. And if you want to get up to speed, I would watch a body in the snow, the Karen Reed case on Max. Dan, my husband's into it every night. We've go check in about what happened during the trial. I think the judge, her name is Bev. Vanessa (06:34.472) Mm-hmm. Lauren (06:38.204) Yeah. Lauren (06:50.187) I love that. Yeah. Teri (06:57.045) her Bev. She's totally biased towards the police. It's like this huge corruption cover up. The Boston police, I think, are covering it up. It is this wacky wild case. No, she wasn't. She was just the girlfriend. No, the boyfriend was, and now it's been revealed that he was looking into drug-like stuff for the police department. And then some of the people Vanessa (06:59.7) you Vanessa (07:03.593) Yeah. Vanessa (07:08.51) But she was a cop. she wasn't, I thought she was a cop. I thought she was a cop too, no, but he was. Okay, gotcha. Vanessa (07:23.262) Hmm. Teri (07:24.329) They were out drinking with that night, the other police officers, their kids, the one son might've been doing some drug dealing and there was all sorts. It's very murky. In order to catch up, I would definitely watch the series on Max and do some internet sleuthing, but it's a fascinating case. It's obviously kind of dark because this sounds like this super nice guy lost his life. He was actually caretaking. He was the primary guardian caretaker for his niece and nephew because Lauren (07:34.342) Yeah. Lauren (07:41.286) That sounds good. Lauren (07:48.26) Ugh. Wilhelmina (07:48.641) you Teri (07:53.619) His sister had died of a brain tumor. Two months later, the dad died of a heart attack and then he took over caring for the kids and then he was murdered and found dead. So like there's poor kids who lost parents within two months and then their uncle who was caring for them. So it sounds like he was a great standup guy from everything I've read and it, you know, alcohol involved and middle-aged people out boozing the night of a blizzard in January and some weird things happened. So it's called a body in the snow on Max. Lauren (07:54.801) Ugh. Vanessa (07:57.108) That's right. Wilhelmina (07:57.39) and one of Lauren (08:00.612) my- Lauren (08:03.794) It's awful. Wilhelmina (08:20.397) you Lauren (08:21.829) that's awful, but interesting. Okay. Teri (08:23.347) I know. Okay, how about you Vanessa? Vanessa (08:27.316) On a much, much, much lighter note, I'm going to go way in the opposite direction. So we recently, I don't know if I share that on the podcast, you guys know, but we recently adopted a dog from a local shelter. Our lovely Lola passed away unexpectedly in December and we felt like we were ready to adopt a new dog. So we adopted a new dog. She's Wilhelmina (08:27.457) haha Lauren (08:28.498) gonna lighten the mood a little. Teri (08:29.533) Ray of sunshine. Yeah. Wilhelmina (08:32.333) you Lauren (08:36.059) Yeah. Wilhelmina (08:45.73) Bye. Vanessa (08:56.66) Well, now she's about nine months old. We've had her for about a month. She is a pit bull mix. Everybody who knows me knows that pit bulls are near and dear to my heart. This is my third one that I've had. And then I used to foster pit bulls. I did that for a long time when I was single. But they, they're wonderful dogs. They're very loyal. They're just great dogs. But one of the things that they do is they chew through toys like nobody's business. Wilhelmina (09:23.521) Hehehe. Vanessa (09:27.068) It's very hard to find toys that they won't destroy in like five seconds. And I've been like on Teri (09:30.869) Our dog is a pit bull mix and I would agree with that wholeheartedly. Yes. Vanessa (09:35.06) Yes. So on Amazon, I'm like looking for like super chewers. Sometimes they'll use the word like, like aggressive chewers. I don't know that term, but basically they're like toys that are claiming that they will last longer for dogs that chew. And we've gone through like a gajillion of these toys until I finally found one that is, I think, a really good brand. So I had seen ads for this on Instagram. It's called Bar Fox. So apparently you can get Lauren (09:50.674) Mm-hmm. Teri (09:51.775) Mm-hmm. Lauren (10:02.034) yeah! Wilhelmina (10:02.475) No, mm-hmm. Vanessa (10:03.704) a membership and they send you a box and it comes with toys and treats. And I didn't want to do that for two reasons. One is because I didn't know, like I didn't want to sign up for something that I didn't know about. Like I didn't know anybody who had them. And she's been having some stomach issues. So we didn't really want to try treats right now. Like we're trying to keep food real simple because she's having like tummy issues. But I happened to go on Amazon and found that you can actually just buy the toys straight from like through Amazon. So they're bark box toys, but they're through Amazon. You just buy the toy. Lauren (10:28.814) Okay. Vanessa (10:30.46) And so we bought three of them for her and she loves them. And they have these, they're called rip and reveal toys. And so it looks like a stuffed animal, but inside is like a rubber toy of some sort. So like they're different toys. And so they shred the toy, because that's what they do with them, but inside is like a heavy duty rubber toy that they can continue to play with. And that's like, they can't chew through that. It has kept her entertained. Teri (10:43.017) I need this. Vanessa (10:57.172) she will run around the house with it in her mouth, like back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And then she's shredded like one of them already. And now she has a toy inside and it squeaks. And so now she runs around with this like rubber ball thing that's inside of it. So if anybody has a dog that chews through toys in five seconds, and you don't want to buy the box yet, cause you just want to try it, go to Amazon, it's called BarkBox. We just got her one, it's called Consuela the cactus. And it's like this cute little cactus. Lauren (11:06.95) Mm-hmm. Teri (11:12.661) Hmm? Wilhelmina (11:13.261) you Lauren (11:13.669) Yeah. Lauren (11:22.51) Aww. Wilhelmina (11:22.582) You Vanessa (11:25.916) And inside like a squeaky toy and she is loving that one currently. But we've tried a couple of them. We've done three already. And so I highly recommend if you have a super chewer at home bark box dog toys. Wilhelmina (11:37.037) It reminds me of those toys that are so popular with kids where like, it's, you know, you do something and then you get the price of it. Lauren (11:42.153) the surprise egg thing, yes. Vanessa (11:43.248) Yes, that's exactly it's like a surprise and reveal Barbie. Exactly. I thought the same thing. Yeah, I thought the same thing. I was like, this is like a surprise. The reveal Barbie that everyone really likes to get that you dip in the water. my goodness. All right. So let's get into today's topic. So Terry sent us this article that's going to kick off our conversation for today. So, Terry, why don't you give us just a synopsis of what the article was about and we'll get into our topic. Teri (11:43.262) Okay. Wilhelmina (11:48.621) The fun is two times the fun! Lauren (11:48.924) funny. Lauren (11:54.716) That's funny. Yeah. Teri (12:11.483) Okay, so last month in March, The Atlantic, which used to be in paper, it might still be in paper and online, but there's electronic versions. The Atlantic published an article entitled, Teens are Forgoing a Classic Rite of Passage. And what it describes is a journalist named Lisa Phillips teaches a college course called Love and Heartbreak, and basically goes into understanding love, Lauren (12:21.862) Yeah. Teri (12:40.871) And she is very discussion-based in terms of her college course. And what she talks about is that while we should question all of the romantic tropes that exist out there, like the Disney romance, et cetera, across cultures, since for a very long time, people tend to describe falling for someone in very similar ways. When somebody first has a crush on somebody or they first meet somebody and going farther than that, when you have your first... real dating romantic relationship where you think about the person all the time and you want to be with them and text them and just sort of flooded with those really good feelings across cultures, people tend to describe a similar feeling very much that we associate with young love, especially right like in high school and college. And when you're younger, those really intense feelings and she was those tropes began somewhere like those exist for a reason. She said what's been happening more recently as her college students are very skeptical. about love in general and falling for someone, especially young love, because they have not experienced it firsthand. she, so this rite of passage is dating, having relationships, having all those experiences when you're younger, as opposed to what we're sometimes seeing now, people just entering the dating world in their mid-twenties, give or take. So there's a couple stats I'm going to toss out there. And for example, Wilhelmina (13:45.738) Hmm. Lauren (13:53.741) Thank Lauren (14:02.478) for Teri (14:06.357) In 2023, there was a poll from the Survey Center on American Life that Gen Z adults, 56 % of them say they have been in a romantic relationship at any point during their teen years. So looking back at their teen years, 56 % of Gen Z adults had been in a romantic relationship. We can compare that to Gen Xers, where 76 % had had some type of relationship as a teenager and Baby Boomers, 78%. Lauren (14:10.588) Mm-hmm. Teri (14:34.165) had some type of relationship as a teenager. So that is a market decrease, right? So we have Gen Xers saying 76%, Baby Boomers 78 % having had a relationship as a teen, well, only 56 % of Gen Z. And yeah. Wilhelmina (14:40.237) Bye. Vanessa (14:41.268) the Lauren (14:49.458) And I did look up real quick because the millennials are within there and that millennials, are, so I had to, I had to look up all the different age ranges because I'm like, who are we talking about here? Okay. So I've got them. So what you're talking about, Terry is 97 to 2012 is Gen Z. So she's seeing the beginning of Gen Z in college. This, this professor millennials are 81 to 96. Vanessa (14:52.957) Yeah, I was like, what? Teri (14:53.14) Yeah. Vanessa (14:59.934) I always forget. Wilhelmina (15:00.577) huh, huh, huh. Teri (15:00.683) huh. Teri (15:11.465) Yes. Yes. Yes. Lauren (15:18.77) And then Gen Xers 1965 to 1980. So we are all right there on that cusp. And then Baby Boomers, of course, 64 or 46 to 64. And I did look up the millennial stat and it's right there with Gen X. I think it was 76 or 75. It was right. There was no change, significant change. So we were right. Gen X and millennials are kind of, I think that's probably why they didn't report it is because this is the first time they're seeing the significant change. Teri (15:35.169) good. Yeah. Yeah. Teri (15:46.441) The shift, yeah. And it's something that has come up in my therapy work with a lot of college age young adults that I'm seeing for individual therapy. I'm thinking of an example of somebody I worked with who's now later on in college, but when this person was in high school, had a lengthy sort of old school traditional two year relationship where they came to a crossroads and they went away to college and what do we do? Vanessa (15:46.804) change. Lauren (15:47.684) is with Gen Z. Yeah. Teri (16:12.765) and thinking about how commonplace that was when we were growing up. But for this particular client of mine, she was an anomaly in her friend group. She was the only person in her friend group who had a serious relationship. Her friends did not understand, they were not supportive, they were very critical of the relationship, which by all means, from my perspective and talking with the parents at the time, was a healthy, typical teen relationship. But the friends didn't get it. And I remember, this is during COVID actually, this was like so four or five years ago, I remember doing therapy sessions with this person and saying to them, your friends don't get it because it's not a lived experience that they've had. They don't get it. One day they too will meet someone they're crazy about and wanna spend all their time with them. And you might be annoyed with that or their other friends might be annoyed with that because this person is getting a lot of grief from their friends for not being with the friends all the time and wanting to be with the new boy, you know, the boyfriend. And it really was very, Lauren (16:53.98) Right, right. Vanessa (16:54.644) All Lauren (17:00.818) Mm-hmm. Vanessa (17:07.988) Mm-hmm. Teri (17:11.999) glaringly obvious to me as the outsider, as the therapist, that one of the main difficulties with the friendships was that they just didn't get it. Because none of them had, they didn't get it. They weren't dating, they didn't have boyfriends and girlfriends, and it was very foreign to them. So this article really resonated thinking of some of the cases I've worked with and just in general, think teens and young adults are not dating the way previous generations have. Lauren (17:21.906) because it wasn't that. Lauren (17:41.222) So what I thought was really interesting is the reasons why they're actually not dating. so the one that is like a no-da one, I think to all of us is the immersive technology increase. so, and you know, a lot of people are living their lives online and so they're not engaging in lived experiences. So they're watching from the sidelines. Vanessa (17:46.345) Yes. Teri (17:55.285) Yeah. Vanessa (17:55.314) Mm-hmm. Wilhelmina (17:55.629) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Teri (18:05.833) Yes. Lauren (18:06.578) So they don't really know why that would be something they would want to do, because they're just viewing it. But the one that I thought was really interesting, and the other was changing norms. So if my friends aren't doing it, then I'm not going to do it. So they kind of almost go together. But the one that I thought was really interesting and really got me thinking was increased parental supervision. Wilhelmina (18:28.183) I was just going to say that I wrote down helicopter parents. huh. Lauren (18:30.546) so this is so good for us because we all have younger kids. I feel so fortunate to be able to sort of be in the world where we're learning all of these things and like, this is not necessarily a good thing that like we are parents are preventing their kids from having these experiences because they're helicoptering. I thought that that one really and I there was a note about how this is particularly Teri (18:30.933) you Teri (18:47.615) Totally. Lauren (18:58.14) Boys are particularly vulnerable and not getting these experiences, which as a boy mom really stood out to me because boys don't learn the same kind of communication skills with their friends as in a relationship because boys' friendships are built on a lot of teasing, like kind of like joking, joshing around. Whereas when they're in a young relationship, they have to learn how to demonstrate affection. Wilhelmina (19:01.014) Yes. Teri (19:15.913) Mm-hmm. Wilhelmina (19:16.909) Mm-hmm. Vanessa (19:26.132) With the girl. Lauren (19:26.596) and communicate their feelings because that's what's expected. Obviously, they're talking about, well, I actually don't know. They don't say if they're talking about male-female relationship. They don't actually specify that. They just say like a romantic, early romantic relationship. They have to figure out how to communicate in a different way. And that's so helpful. There's so many positive aspects to that as they turn into young men. Teri (19:36.426) No, they didn't. Yeah, they did not clarify. Right. Vanessa (19:40.318) Being in a romantic relationship is different, yeah. Lauren (19:54.706) And so as a parent, I just thought that was so interesting and good advice for us to back up. Wilhelmina (19:58.83) That is interesting. Teri (20:00.671) Well, I think that, Wilhelmina (20:01.869) Well, and makes sense then for women, like if women are having friendships and those are helping them, then they can maybe date later and jump into it and they already have some of those skills already built up whereas men, boys are, yeah, they need them, yeah. Lauren (20:14.502) They need these early relationships in a more, yeah, more specific way. Teri (20:17.653) I mean, I dated somebody in high school for almost three years and I learned so much from that relationship. You have to negotiate and communicate and even when you're young, you're not living together or anything like that, but there's still so much involved. Having to consider somebody else's feelings, having to perspective take, having to, all the things you have to negotiate. think relationships among teens are so valuable. Vanessa (20:19.316) was looking. Teri (20:44.213) Those are irreplaceable experiences that you should be having at a particular age and not at 25 or 30 for the first time. Lauren (20:54.354) Yeah, and we know the research says that adolescents in general are spending less time together. So there's this whole issue now with loneliness and they're not even navigating friendships in the way that they used to, but the importance of the social learning that can go on in a relationship in particular. It's just so interesting. Vanessa (20:56.084) Thank Vanessa (21:15.548) I was looking up differences in how teens date now versus how we used to date. And I think this ties into why are they. And so they bring up the communication is different. So before, you'd have to go up to the guy you were interested or the person you're interested to and say, hey, versus now people are sending, DMing someone or sending a text. It's just a different way of communicating. They also talk about how relationships just move at a slower pace now. I've had Lauren (21:21.49) Mm-hmm. Lauren (21:27.42) Yeah. Wilhelmina (21:34.465) Yes. Teri (21:42.741) Mmm. Vanessa (21:43.572) clients come in, I'm sure you've heard this word where they say, I'm in a situation ship instead of relationship. Yes. And so this is their, we're kind of sort of talking, we're not dating, there's no label. not, we're not putting a label on it. Like this is so kind of common. they also talk a lot about how kids are these days are going out more in groups. Teri (21:46.965) Yes, yes. Lauren (21:47.666) Yes. Lauren (21:55.122) talking. Teri (21:55.359) We're not exclusive. Lauren (22:01.65) you Teri (22:06.805) Mm-hmm. Wilhelmina (22:07.234) Mm-hmm. Vanessa (22:07.848) to take off that pressure of being like one-on-ones. Like, remember you went on your first date and you were alone, you had to figure out. So now it's like this group setting and they talk about, takes the pressure off of, you know, but I think going back to what you both were saying about how you're missing out on then that one-on-one kind of relationship and conversation when you're doing kind of these bigger group settings. So it's just funny how they, you know, coming up with these terms, I read something about like, so they talk about situationship, they use the term breadcrumbing. which is when somebody is like sending you messages like here and there trying to keep you reeled in, but they're not really wanting a relationship from you. and then they talk about like cat fishing, which you've all heard before where they like, you know, it's a pretend person. So like people are afraid to like getting these, you know, relationships with people because they don't know if it's a real person or not. So it's just funny how technology has really played a role in some of the changes that we're seeing with, with younger folks and dating. Lauren (22:45.382) yeah. Wilhelmina (23:04.215) This didn't come up in any of the immediate reading that I was doing, but I kept thinking about it and it was sex and how sex is much more, I think, casual than it used to be and there's less shame and I think it's thought of as like, yeah, just have sex. just, I'm just gonna have sex with them. I'm just. Teri (23:26.613) But the rates of people actually having young are lower than they've traditionally been. Vanessa (23:32.788) Yeah. Wilhelmina (23:32.942) I know, I know they are. So it's less, but there's also like, I don't need to be exclusive with someone or I don't need to be official with someone. I can just be like, hey, do we want to sex? Yeah, sure, let's have sex. It's just, it's not as like, we need to be, do you remember like rules? Like you'd be like, I don't sleep with someone before, you know, until the third date or things like that. Or, I mean, go further back, of course it'd be even longer or it'd be marriage. But like, I do think that there's like all of, Teri (23:39.056) yeah. Vanessa (23:55.014) you Vanessa (24:02.182) You can have a hookup. Like, you can have a hookup. Like, it's just somebody I hookup with, yeah. Wilhelmina (24:03.361) Yeah, yes. You can just have a hookup. And girls who have just hookup are, there's like less shaming around it or less like, so there's less need to be like in a boyfriend, girlfriend or whatever situation to kind of do some of the same things. And so like, why, why put a label on it? Why make it exclusive? Why if everything is a little bit more casual? Teri (24:27.765) There's less incentive. I actually feel sort of sad for some young people who aren't having that butterflies in the stomach, so excited, I have a crush or I have this guy that I'm talking to and seeing and we're gonna hang out this weekend. And I don't know what it's gonna be like because I haven't really talked to him since we said we were gonna hang out and that was three days ago. there's not a way to like communicate with them in between that or spending, I remember spending Lauren (24:35.602) Yeah. Wilhelmina (24:36.161) bitch. Wilhelmina (24:40.173) Ugh. Lauren (24:55.431) Yeah. Wilhelmina (24:57.453) 100%. Teri (24:57.639) all night on the phone with some of my boyfriends in high school and college. We'd be on the phone all night and then you would meet up and that excited falling for somebody intense feeling that I think also equates with being younger. I mean, I'm sure that if I was to enter the dating scene again now at this age, there would be a version of that. But I think there's something unique about being young and excited. and having that flood of like fun, intense emotions that some young people aren't getting, aren't having those experiences. Lauren (25:27.452) for sure. Vanessa (25:34.11) Yeah. Like without the pressure of like, you know, when you get older and you're still dating before you meet, like you're thinking about like someone you're going to marry, what they're going to be like as a husband, like what you don't think about that when you're like a teen, right? You're just like, you're cute and I like you. Like that's the extent of it. That's it. That's it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Wilhelmina (25:35.053) I Teri (25:41.289) Yes. Lauren (25:43.462) Yeah. Nope. Like a teenager. Yeah. Yeah. Teri (25:43.882) Yes. Teri (25:47.209) Yes, that's it. It's so simple. It's so simple. Wilhelmina (25:54.703) Well, Terry, I had the same feeling and reaction when I started reading that article. I immediately got sad because I was just like, my gosh, that was so fun. to have, mean, I was someone I crushed on so many people. And like, you just like think about them, you'd see them in the hallway. I was telling my daughter the other day about like how I asked a boy out and I called him on the telephone. And I remember Lauren (25:54.876) to be. Lauren (26:06.642) Yeah. Teri (26:06.846) I know. Lauren (26:21.458) That is parents' house. Wilhelmina (26:22.797) Oh, and I, I spent about like 30 minutes, probably more, like even just working up to like dial the numbers and then it would ring and you're like, Oh God, Oh God, who's going to answer? then it, don't be the dad, don't be the parents. And then trying to act casual, except you just went through all of this work to like clearly call the person who you don't normally call. And then I do remember trying to ask him out to a movie and he sort of was like, yeah, we should all see if we can get a group together. And I remember hanging up and we would like, that was a no. Teri (26:28.821) Mm-hmm. Lauren (26:30.065) Yeah. Don't be the dad. Vanessa (26:34.364) Yeah. Wilhelmina (26:52.223) That was a no! Or I didn't make myself clear, one of the two. But I don't, yeah, that's not happening anymore. Vanessa (26:52.85) you Lauren (26:58.77) But you know, it's interesting. So to piggyback on both of what you are saying, it is sad and it's a big, it's a much broader, I think, spectrum of like concern that I have that they're not doing anything, not all teenagers for sure, but they're minimizing risk in their life. And some of it's parenting and now we're learning that that wasn't great. Like the extra supervision. Wilhelmina (27:17.527) Yes. Vanessa (27:17.896) Yeah. Lauren (27:23.43) that parents have been doing for the last however many years when you can start tracking people on your phones and things like that. This has not been great for teenagers, but they are reducing their risk of getting hurt in a relationship. They're not driving. They're not getting part-time jobs and figuring out what happens if you're late to a part-time job. They're not doing these really valuable milestone experiences where, yes, there's a huge risk that they're gonna get hurt. Teri (27:43.669) Milestones. Yeah. Lauren (27:51.706) And there's a lot of anxiety associated with actually doing the thing, like calling the person, going in to get a job application. Anybody else doing therapy with some of your clients, young adults and teenagers where you're like, how about we walk into the store and not do an online application that you don't know where it went. And even if they tell you to do the online application, go to the store and make, you they're not doing these like milestone experiences. Wilhelmina (28:01.662) yes? Teri (28:01.941) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Vanessa (28:03.262) yeah. Wilhelmina (28:15.009) Yes. Follow up. Follow up. I just sent it. Teri (28:17.797) the follow-up is foreign. Mm-hmm. Vanessa (28:18.26) Yeah. Yeah. Wilhelmina (28:21.431) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Lauren (28:21.85) Yeah, so they're minimizing hurt in their life, but as a result, they're also losing out on all of these experiences that we all had. They're not achieving those. It's like so interesting. Teri (28:25.043) discomfort. They don't want to be uncomfortable. Vanessa (28:27.848) Yeah, it's just comfortable, yeah. Teri (28:35.337) I think an important phrase for anyone listening who has a teen or young adult in their life, and I think exactly what Lauren's saying, whether it's geared towards relationship concerns or jobs or whatever, I think an important question to ask them is, are you willing to be uncomfortable? Just what is your willingness to experience discomfort, whether it's asking somebody out, asking if they want to be exclusive, following up about the job application you submitted? Wilhelmina (28:54.519) Yeah, there is nothing. Lauren (28:55.548) Yes. Yes. Lauren (29:00.87) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Teri (29:04.639) Fill in the blank, are you willing to be a little uncomfortable? Lauren (29:09.842) My son, we were just on vacation and we were at this hotel that had a water slide on one part of the pool and then a basketball hoop at the other part of the pool. And he wanted to do a trick shot from the top of the water slide. You guys know, like dude perfect, right? Our life is trick shots, which is so fun, but whatever. He wanted to do a trick shot from the top of the water slide with just like a little foam ball to the basketball hoop. He wanted to like try to see if he could do that before he went down the water slide. Teri (29:21.481) I'm, it's my life, it's my life. Dude Perfect, I say this is dude, yep, Dude Perfect. Vanessa (29:25.616) Thank you. Lauren (29:38.448) And he, so he's like, mom, can I do this? And I was like, go ask the lifeguard. And he kind of like looked at me and I was like, if this is important to you, you're going to have to be uncomfortable for a minute. The worst you can do is say no. And to my surprise to my, was like so proud of him. He went up and asked the lifeguard. She's like, sure. If somebody comes and is playing under the basketball hoop, then you can't do it. But for now, yeah, that's fine. And he was like the, the discomfort he felt was at an alt like 10 out of 10. But then the pride he felt in himself after that. Teri (29:42.517) Hmm. Wilhelmina (30:04.459) Yep. Yep. Lauren (30:08.314) was like 10 out of 10 as well. So it was like, that's just such a microcosm. He's almost, he's 11 and a half, right? But like of like what some of these adolescents that they're not, they're not putting themselves in the position to feel uncomfortable. And dating I think is a really good example of that. They're just avoiding the discomfort. Wilhelmina (30:09.537) Yes. Vanessa (30:27.177) Yeah. Wilhelmina (30:28.717) And with dating, it is the full spectrum if you really like someone. It's all of the feelings, because it's the fun butterflies, it's the nervousness, it's the excitement, and potentially it's the heartbreak at the end of it. And it's all part of it. And you can't... Lauren (30:35.516) Yeah. Vanessa (30:45.812) Rejection, yeah. Teri (30:47.903) Yes, it's a package deal. Wilhelmina (30:52.179) It's a package deal, but it's such a fun deal. But it's a lived experience, and you can't tell someone about it unless they've actually done it. And so I'm sure that's part of the class here is, I think she said, I'm trying to teach people that being in love is like an actual thing and can happen. Yes, yes. Lauren (30:53.328) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Teri (31:10.845) is a fun, intense feeling. And there's a reason why there are, you know, multi-million dollar movies and love songs. And it's such a part of our culture. There's a reason for all those tropes. they come from somewhere. Lauren (31:12.85) like a good experience. Wilhelmina (31:25.857) Ransom Canyon would not exist without Albus Trope. It's the only thing it's standing on is people watching it for like the kiss and the moment. Yes. Right? I mean, it is. Lauren (31:28.498) Hallmark. I did think it was interesting in that related article. There was like a relate, the one that was doing the statistics from the Survey Center on American Life, that those that prioritize establishing romantic connections earlier. Teri (31:30.687) Right. Teri (31:36.883) Yes. Vanessa (31:38.689) my goodness. Teri (31:44.831) Hmm. Lauren (31:55.802) are more likely to get married or be in a long-term relationship as an adult. And they're not saying causation, but there is this correlation that if you try, if you try some of these experiences in adolescence, you're much more likely to have a meaningful relationship as an adult, which is fascinating. Wilhelmina (31:55.905) Mm-hmm. Teri (31:59.197) I believe that. Yeah. Vanessa (32:00.18) That's interesting. Teri (32:13.243) I have used this idea to try to encourage more engagement from some of the young adults and teens I do therapy with to try to get them out into the dating pool and put themselves out there. I have said to them, after college, never again in your lifetime will you have this many people in your same age bracket around you. There is a window. High school and college, you are surrounded by so many same age peers. Lauren (32:26.33) world. Lauren (32:36.88) Yeah, geographically. Yeah. Teri (32:42.035) That will never happen again. Maybe if you go work in pharmaceuticals or marketing or some big type of corporation where there's a lot of people your age who do happy hours and whatever. But for most individuals, you will never be around that slew, that big pond, that ocean of people. Your pond of your potential dating pool shrinks significantly the older you get. Now dating apps change things up, et cetera. But I also hear people fatigue of dating apps and it gets tired and Lauren (32:43.205) Mm-hmm. Lauren (32:54.962) Mm-hmm. Lauren (33:10.757) Yeah. Teri (33:10.911) So I do think that to try to increase some effort, like, listen, I know you haven't dated a lot, it's senior year of college, maybe you should put yourself out there a little bit more because you've got a nice pool that you're swimming in right now that's gonna change in the future. Vanessa (33:27.602) I think one of the things that I was looking at is going back to like, why are they not doing that? I think we've talked a little bit about like discomfort, you know, relying on like social media. The other thing I was reading about is kind of over scheduling. Like a lot of these kids are just, they're too, they literally are over scheduled. Yeah. And so they, you know, I was just talking to a family recently, you know, and about how much sleep this kid was getting. And they're like, well, she dances until nine o'clock at night. And it's like, well, if you're Teri (33:38.227) Mmm. Wilhelmina (33:39.341) Too busy. Lauren (33:39.676) Mmm. It's a good point. Yeah. Teri (33:42.025) The teenagers, yeah, for sure. Lauren (33:51.916) yeah, it's all related. Vanessa (33:55.732) If you're dancing till nine o'clock at night and then you have homework to do, then when would you date? When would you learn how to drive? And so some of this overscheduling that I think is, again, a newer phenomenon. I don't know anybody who did this much sports when I was in high school compared to the kids now and all the activities. And one of the things I tell kids all the time, they're like, well, I'm taking these AP classes and I'm studying and I'm doing the same. Nobody. Wilhelmina (34:10.857) No, no. Vanessa (34:23.038) When you get into the real world, when you're grown up, nobody's going to ask you how many AP classes you took. Nobody's going to ask you what sports you play. Nobody cares about these things. But in that moment, it feels like it's so. But I think that's also part of this story, is that I think kids are over-scheduled often and working really hard to keep up with academic demands. And there's no time for these other things that they should be experiencing. Yes. Yes. Lauren (34:26.79) No one asks. Wilhelmina (34:27.095) How many AP classes did you take? Teri (34:29.301) No one cares. Lauren (34:35.858) feels so important. Lauren (34:47.92) the unstructured. Wilhelmina (34:49.771) unstructured time, and then you throw in the licenses that these kids are not getting. So first of all, okay, so where do you go as a teen who's, but where do you go as a teen if your parents are always home and helicoptering around and you're over scheduled and you wanna make out with someone, you could do it in your car. Teri (34:54.607) Mm. I know. Lauren (34:56.274) Crazy. Yes. Teri (34:59.221) They don't care to drive. Some. Vanessa (35:03.08) No. Wilhelmina (35:14.669) But oh, wait, wait, these kids don't have cars and they don't go anywhere and they don't have time to go anywhere. So too bad for that. mean, who, how many people made out in cars when we were young, like teens and young adults? Hello. And other things. The wide umbrella of things. Lauren (35:16.521) Ha! Teri (35:24.437) Other thing? Yeah. Vanessa (35:26.964) and other things. And other things. Teri (35:35.381) Yeah. Wilhelmina (35:35.874) My husband and I once at his, before he was my husband, we actually had a cop. Stop. Like knock on our car because we were parked in a residential zone, but we didn't want to go back to his house. And so literally like we had someone knock on our window and we're like, we'll just move the car then, okay. I mean, come on. Like, but they don't have cars. The parents are all over them. They don't have the time and they don't have the interest apparently. Teri (36:04.245) And I think it's, yeah. Lauren (36:05.074) It's something that's hard for us to understand. It really is. It would be interesting to talk to some parents that are just a generation removed from us that are parenting some of these teenagers and young adults right now. It's like, like... Wilhelmina (36:05.549) Crazy. Teri (36:18.943) We should have had my niece Malia on. Yeah, to talk about dating or like your niece, Vanessa. Like it'd be interesting to have like some, you know, some people, younger people join us to talk about this at some point in the future and what their perception is. And I sometimes think about, my husband and I joke about this all the time, that we grew up watching Saved by the Bell on Saturday mornings. We were both totally convinced that high school would be like Saved by the Bell. Wilhelmina (36:22.773) Yes! We should have! Lauren (36:42.182) Yaaaas. Teri (36:47.325) And when we got to high school and some of the 80s movies, some of the John Hughes 80s movies were sprinkled in there. And there are some small events and elements of my high school experience that were sort of like that, like some parties, but lo and behold, it was not saved by the bell. We're saved by the bell literally at like six characters and they didn't show any other people at the high school, you know, whatever. But I truly thought that's what high school was going to be like. And, and it necessarily wasn't, but those were my expectations. Vanessa (36:48.781) Hahaha! Lauren (36:48.902) Yeah. Wilhelmina (36:48.944) yeah. Lauren (36:52.617) yeah! yeah! Teri (37:16.191) were layered and informed by that. And I wonder for younger people what their romantic and relationship expectations, what has been informing those and where they're coming from. And when they hear older people like us or even their parents, you know, above us talking about things, is it like that is so old fashioned and not how it is anymore. And you didn't even have cell phones and social media, et cetera. I don't know. Wilhelmina (37:29.877) Hmm. Teri (37:45.845) I don't know. Lauren (37:47.516) But do you think there'll be a shift back? You know, it feels like with a lot of these things, the more we understand and know about, because really the root of all of this is the impact of technology. That's what's changing all of these things. And the more that, and adolescents hate hearing that because they don't know a world, and that's not their fault, but they don't know a world in which, right. And so, Teri (37:49.523) I hope so. Vanessa (37:58.302) The impact. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Teri (38:07.379) I know. They don't know what they don't know. Yeah. Lauren (38:14.514) We're starting to know too much about the detrimental effects of raising your children with technology as their primary source of socialization. So now it's like the more we know now, we as parents are super aware of this. And so we're pulling some of this back for this very next generation. What are our kids called by the way? Because Sam is born in 2013. So I'm like, what are we called? Alpha, alpha, alpha, alpha. So the alpha. Teri (38:33.781) I don't know. That's a good question. Vanessa (38:35.924) I don't know. Wilhelmina (38:36.173) I just did this with Maddie. She's alpha, alpha, alpha. Yeah. just met, talked about this. Teri (38:38.101) Yeah, my kids. Lauren (38:43.75) generation. That's right. So I feel like we as parents are starting to pull some of this back and really look at the benefit of things like unstructured time. So what Vanessa was saying is like, Whoa, maybe we've got the you know, this this last generation went a little bit too far into this parent supervision and, you know, schedules. And there's lots of reasons for that. And we all understand that. But if we start to pull that back as parents, then our kids will grow up differently. Teri (38:53.034) Mm-hmm. Vanessa (38:53.886) Mm-hmm. Lauren (39:11.642) and hopefully be able to use technology for all the positive aspects of it. But then do we think, I guess I'm hopeful, but do we think that then our kids will shift back into having some of these experiences, these uncomfortable moments, the discomfort of having to go ask a girl for her number or yeah, going to get into job application things, going to ask the lifeguard for trick shot approval. Teri (39:27.508) Mm-hmm. Teri (39:33.577) Mm-hmm. Vanessa (39:35.44) You Wilhelmina (39:36.75) I mean, there was a book written in 2015 by the comedian Aziz Ansari called Modern Romance. so this was 10 years ago. yes, and he talked about how romance and dating is changing because of cell phones and dating apps. That was 10 years ago. And he worked with a researcher where they compiled all of this data. And he kind of had Lauren (39:39.907) yes. Lauren (39:46.544) I remember you telling us about this. Teri (39:47.359) Mm-hmm. Wilhelmina (40:06.217) what came out of it, which was, know, like the longer you go without meeting, the more likely it is that you actually won't meet on like a dating app. But one of the big things that I still remember and think about is the takeaway. Doing something like online, an app makes you feel like your pool is, there's always someone better out there. There's always someone cuter. There's always someone this. And so it like the next best thing is just one more swipe away. Teri (40:14.704) Next. Lauren (40:34.802) totally shifts your expectations. Vanessa (40:35.262) Colleague the way, yeah. Wilhelmina (40:36.213) Right. So unlike the real world where you like walk into a bar for, you know, you're like, okay, there's my pool for the night. don't know. Here is it. Here it is. Should we go somewhere else? Teri (40:44.831) With a knife. True. Vanessa (40:46.58) Well, I'll start it. Next bar. Lauren (40:47.314) Here's what I got. Teri (40:50.611) I remember being single and having guy friends and they'd be like, we're gonna go hang out with these guys. And then I'd be like, okay, are any of them cute? Like, let's see, know, yay or nay, and then you're doing your mental math. Lauren (41:02.387) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you're doing your mental scanning. Yep. Wilhelmina (41:02.667) Yes, yes. Vanessa (41:05.096) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting because I was married and divorced before, and this is my second marriage. And so I caught the last, like I caught the dating app world when it first started. So I don't know that you guys, I don't know that you guys ever, none of you guys are using. Yeah. So I caught the like kind of the beginning of the app dating world, you know, when I was single again in my late twenties and. Wilhelmina (41:08.129) Yes, yes. Wilhelmina (41:21.527) Mm-mm. No. Lauren (41:22.202) No. Vanessa (41:32.244) some of the things that you guys mentioned is, there were people that I would talk to and talk to and I'd be like, it would just, I'm like, this is a waste of time. So I actually made a rule. And so I would be like, if you want to, I'm not gonna talk to you on this app. If you wanna meet me, let's go meet. I set this rule after a while, because I was like, this is so annoying. I'm just spending all this energy and time talking. And yeah, and it's like, I don't even know you. don't even know, because I do think, Lauren (41:39.12) Not going. Yeah. Wilhelmina (41:48.695) Yes. Yes. Yes. Lauren (41:53.553) Yeah. Teri (41:53.653) What? Yeah. Wilhelmina (41:56.493) Mm-hmm. Vanessa (42:00.582) a big thing about meeting someone online and then meeting them in person is that chemistry. I think we brought that up. Chemistry. You can look at a picture, you can talk to someone and you meet them and you're like, wah, wah, wah. And let me tell you, there was a lot of those moments. There was a lot of wah, wah, wahs when I, so I made this role after it happened a couple of times. my gosh. There was this one, it was this one main event that made me kind of be like, okay, it was a very big wah, wah, wah moment. Teri (42:04.213) 100%. Lauren (42:05.115) Yeah. Wilhelmina (42:11.501) yeah, there's a lot of wah wah wah. Yes. Lauren (42:12.326) Well, and that's what high school. Lauren (42:29.266) you Vanessa (42:30.072) that I was like, we're not doing that again. We're just going to, you know, Hey, meet you want to meet great. You don't want to meet. but that I will say there is definitely having experienced like, you know, old school also call it old school dating and then, you know, some app stuff. but that's even changed so much now, like the app world has changed. There's so many more. I think the way when I was, you know, in my late twenties, whatever year that was, was it eight, nine. Lauren (42:42.097) Yeah. Teri (42:45.589) Mm-hmm. Wilhelmina (42:46.241) Mm-hmm. Vanessa (42:55.604) Um, it was just a couple. It'd be like match.com and that other one that like, I don't know, there was another one that yes, and you had to fill out like a 20 page bio to do it. And then from there, went to like these hookup apps were like literally Tinder and I don't even know that. So then I never did any of those because by then I was married. Um, but yeah, they now they've shifted into these apps where you're literally, and now you don't even need an app. You put up your Instagram, right? Wilhelmina (42:58.677) Yes, match. Lauren (42:59.794) Yeah. Something with E harmony, E harmony, yes. Wilhelmina (43:10.327) Tinder. Lauren (43:19.602) Yeah. Teri (43:23.539) I think so. I think you can do it by look, DM. Yes. Yeah. Lauren (43:23.771) Yeah. Vanessa (43:24.812) It's not even a dating app. people are just, you know, people just send you a message. They see your picture. So you don't even have to, you know, it doesn't even have to be like, I'm now going on this dating app. You can find people so easily, but you miss that like chemistry part of it. And actually is there a connection here? Because you can have so many things in common, you know, that you're sharing, but it's not until you like meet that person and you really get that feeling of Lauren (43:26.736) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Lauren (43:39.708) So true. Mm-hmm. Wilhelmina (43:49.549) see them. Vanessa (43:53.412) butterflies that you talked about and if you just look at that Teri (43:53.685) 100. Yes. Because there's people that I have felt, yes. Yes. Yes. Because there's people that you would, there's guys that I have felt chemistry with and felt connected to and attracted to that if I just saw their picture, I don't think that would be the case and vice versa. Guys who I'm like, he's a great looking, whatever. And then you meet them in person, you're he's a nice dude, whatever, but there's nothing there. So it's so important. Lauren (43:56.934) Well, that's what high school and college, those are perfect environments for that, because you're in person. Vanessa (44:00.478) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wilhelmina (44:14.635) Yes. yeah. I would say people become more or less attractive once you meet them. that's just, you know, yes. I always think of, I can't help but think of the Sex and the City. This is super dating all of us, I guess. But like the Sex and the City episode where Samantha was beating this one guy at a bar and she went up and they started talking. Do you know what I'm talking? Yes! Vanessa (44:22.078) Or he's like a douche. Yeah, and they start talking. Yeah, you can't tell. Teri (44:25.141) Yes. Yes. Yeah. Lauren (44:25.938) Mm-hmm. Teri (44:44.351) He's too short? Yes. Wilhelmina (44:46.413) And she's like, okay. And then he hops off. And I mean, I'm sorry, my husband is the shorter guy, but like this guy, he hopped off the bench and he was like, so short. And she was like, yeah, this isn't gonna work. And I think she tried for it. And then she was like, no, no. But I was like, there was a perfect example where it was in person. And then it was just like, nope, this is not going to work. Gotta have that chemistry. Lauren (44:46.758) No. Vanessa (44:47.508) Wow. Teri (44:48.693) S. Teri (44:52.757) Yes, yes. And you're like. Teri (44:59.849) Yes. Vanessa (45:00.724) my gosh. Lauren (45:01.468) can't do it. Vanessa (45:10.292) my goodness. Lauren (45:10.341) sorry. Teri (45:10.645) 100%. Lauren (45:13.938) All right. Well, I was just going to say, I hope it does shift. Vanessa (45:14.79) Any other thoughts, Lauren, what were gonna say? Yeah, I think I would say, know, in reading in this topic, and maybe we can kind of end on this, of some positive things that I've, that I think this new generation has going for them is that there isn't a pressure to be in a relationship, which I think that is nice, that it's okay to be single. Cause I remember being in high school, I didn't date a lot. And my friends always, always had boyfriends. Teri (45:17.501) Me too. Me too. Wilhelmina (45:18.721) Yeah. Wilhelmina (45:32.139) Yeah. Teri (45:33.127) Agreed. Agreed. Lauren (45:33.82) That is Lauren (45:41.564) Yeah. Vanessa (45:41.966) And it made me like, and my friends never made me feel bad, but I felt bad because I was like, why don't I have a boyfriend? So I do feel like that's a positive. I wish that more were dating, but I also like the idea that it's okay to be the single friend and nobody's, there isn't a negative kind of, know, tone to that. I think also, you know, there's so much more acceptance in the LGBTQ plus community and kids now, you know, have. Lauren (45:45.624) you put that pressure on yourself. Yeah. Lauren (45:55.281) Yeah. Vanessa (46:09.224) the ability to kind of express those feelings. And I think kids are just more tolerant in general, like this younger generation of being different and different types of relationships. I think that that's also really nice. Yeah, yeah. So I think that that is a positive part of the dating world for these kids. And I think they are also more aware of what a positive relationship looks like because they have that. Wilhelmina (46:14.359) Yes. Wilhelmina (46:21.015) They're so accepting. It's awesome to see. Yeah. Lauren (46:22.652) So true. Vanessa (46:35.25) you know, online you get exposed to that. So I want to say that there are, think, a lot of positive things too that the younger generation of kind of are experiencing. But I still think, like we've talked about a lot in this episode, you know, some of what we need to bring some of the old school kind of ways back. And I think if we can blend the new positives and the old school that that's what I hope for our kids, that we can blend. Yes, absolutely. Teri (46:42.069) agreed. Lauren (46:53.809) Yeah. Wilhelmina (46:54.359) I was thinking the same thing. Blending was perfect. Blending would be great. Yeah. Lauren (46:58.64) Make those positives a lived experience, like something they actually do versus watch. Yeah. Teri (47:00.201) Yes. Yes. Vanessa (47:04.34) Absolutely. Well, awesome. That was a great chat, Please join us next time on The Shrinkdown.