Lance: No, no, no.
Lance: You done got me talking politics.
Coneheads Trailer: America has opened her arms to those who dreamed of a better life, in search of opportunity, equality, and freedom.
Coneheads Trailer: And so, it is in this proud tradition that America once again welcomes her newest aliens.
Coneheads Trailer: Coneheads.
Coneheads Trailer: They're from another planet?
Coneheads Trailer: That theory has been advanced.
Coneheads Trailer: I'm ready to suck back a cold one.
Coneheads Trailer: What?
Coneheads Trailer: Welcome to the United States.
Coneheads Trailer: And so the saga begins of a family unlike any you've ever known.
Coneheads Trailer: This summer, and open wider, their name will live in history.
Coneheads Trailer: Very sorry, Mr.
Coneheads Trailer: Conehead.
Coneheads Trailer: Conehead, my name is Conehead.
Coneheads Trailer: Coneheads.
Daeron: Holy fucking shit.
Daeron: OK, so real quick, you're over in Florida now, right?
Lance: I am Florida Man.
Lance: And if I say that one more time, AJ is going to slap me.
Lance: She said, you've got to stop with the Florida Man.
Lance: She said, you've got to give it a rest, man.
Daeron: Oh, but it's the novelty of it right now.
Daeron: I know.
Daeron: So you probably didn't get hit with that string of storms that they went up through from Texas.
Lance: Yeah, I heard something about that, but yeah, no, we get some light, you know, light rain today.
Daeron: Okay.
Daeron: So I already know this is how frazzled I am.
Daeron: What day is today?
Daeron: Today is Wednesday.
Lance: Yes, Wednesday.
Lance: I missed a meeting today.
Lance: So like I looked at my calendar and like, oh, fuck, that was supposed to be this morning.
Daeron: Oh, whoops.
Lance: Yep.
Lance: Whoopsie.
Lance: Yeah, so that's when I found out it was Wednesday.
Daeron: We got a big storm Monday.
Daeron: Sunday night.
Daeron: Well, fuck this.
Daeron: The other day, we got a really big storm and our basement, the little, you know, we live in one of those neighborhood, one of those really old neighborhoods that people are like, oh, yeah, you know, some water will come up in the basement.
Daeron: But I've never really been happy about that.
Daeron: Yeah, of course.
Daeron: So we we had there was a little bit of water up, you know, but it was around the drainage hole where the washer, the clothes washer drains.
Lance: OK.
Daeron: I was like, OK, well, maybe I'll have, you know, the plumber just check it out to make sure before it gets bad.
Daeron: But then we got a fuckload of rain.
Daeron: The river flooded, the street was flooded, my trash can washed half a block down the street.
Daeron: Oh, no, I caught it before it smashed into a car.
Lance: That's a good thing.
Daeron: Yeah.
Daeron: And then but then a bunch of water came up in through the basement.
Daeron: So I've been having people in and over.
Daeron: Got to have like the basement sterilized and throw a fuckload of shit away.
Daeron: And then the plumber today found this is how fucked up our neighborhood is.
Daeron: So our house is 100 years old.
Daeron: And I'm thinking that the house to our back used to just be a yard, you know?
Lance: And but you had a bunch of skeletons wash up into your basement from the yard.
Lance: Am I right?
Daeron: Almost.
Daeron: That would have been cooler.
Daeron: Way fucking cooler.
Lance: It's like kind of like the pool and poultry guys, right?
Daeron: Yeah, that that would have been much I the way I am right now.
Daeron: I want to move out of this house because we've been here almost 10 years.
Daeron: Yeah, this is the basement flooded right the day after my son was born.
Daeron: And then we had to deal with all that shit.
Daeron: And then today, we found out that 129 feet from my house, there is a crack in the pipe.
Daeron: But since it is my pipe, I have to pay for it, even though it's like in my neighbor's underneath my neighbor's driveway.
Lance: Oh, wow.
Lance: That's crazy.
Daeron: Yeah.
Daeron: And there are closer access points to sewer system.
Daeron: So, yeah, they found it.
Daeron: It is, yeah, 129, 130 feet away underneath my neighbor's driveway.
Daeron: It's a rental and the landlord also lives in Florida, bringing it back to you.
Daeron: So I have been waiting for a year for to hear back from them about their walnut tree that I don't know if it was you and I recording, but it hangs over my garage and every once in a while, you know, with the windstorm, branches come down or whatever.
Daeron: But sometimes just a bunch of walnuts will come slamming down on my roof and I won't know what's going on.
Daeron: I'm assuming, you know, insurance doesn't like to cover anything.
Daeron: So just a bunch of fucking bills and a house that I'm mad at.
Daeron: But first of all, problems, right, like I own a house.
Lance: Yeah, that's true.
Lance: And look at it this way, man.
Lance: I mean, if there's anyone I know that they can they can get with the city and make it happen, it's it's got to be it's got to be my my my politically activated buddy.
Daeron: I would hope so.
Daeron: We'll see.
Daeron: We'll see how that goes.
Daeron: But thank you so much for being flexible with all of this shit and all the moving stuff.
Daeron: Around and yeah, well, you know, if I don't cut if I keep any of our preamble in, I don't know if I'm going to cut this part out or not, but like the people that are coming to unshitify my basement are supposed to be coming in the next few days.
Lance: Are they are they coneheads?
Daeron: They come from France.
Lance: Well, dude, if they come from France, they know plumbing and they know they know broken busted pipes and they know catacombs right with skeletons in them.
Lance: So I think you're in good hands.
Daeron: Yeah.
Daeron: So we should be in good hands.
Daeron: But yeah, the wife was like, you know what?
Daeron: Let's move.
Daeron: And she just kind of got me whipped up right in a fervor and I was like, yeah, fuck this place.
Daeron: But anyway, right.
Lance: So even so even by human.
Lance: So even by human standards, that house isn't worth living in.
Daeron: No, it's I'm I'm making it a bigger than it.
Daeron: Well, I mean, it is going to be a big pain in the ass and everything.
Daeron: I guess it's going to be a way to realize what I actually want to keep from my basement.
Lance: As long as you didn't see Mr.
Lance: Hanky floating by on a leaf, I think you're OK.
Daeron: I know we were trying to keep this a little shorter than usual, so you already did one one segue attempt.
Daeron: I can bring us back towards that.
Daeron: I moved four blocks from my old apartment to this house.
Daeron: And then that happened.
Daeron: But I did not come from Remulac, like Beldar and Primat.
Lance: And the pack.
Lance: That's right.
Daeron: Beldar and Primat and Connie is an American citizen.
Daeron: If you don't know what we're talking about, you either don't remember Saturday Night Live or you don't remember the Coneheads movie from the 1990s.
Daeron: I mean, we can get the movie introduced.
Daeron: Coneheads is from 1993.
Daeron: I mean, I figured this was kind of like a base movie.
Daeron: There's going to be a couple things from the movie that we're going to talk about.
Daeron: But like usual, we kind of picked a movie that is really easy to summarize, so we can just talk about however the fuck we want.
Daeron: But you know, the main stars in this are Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin.
Daeron: There's Chris Farley, Jason Alexander as the neighbor, Michael McKeon as...
Daeron: What was the department back then?
Daeron: It's changed so many times.
Lance: It was way before.
Lance: It was way before ICE.
Daeron: Yeah, it was before ICE.
Daeron: It was before the Department of Homeland Security.
Lance: No, but at least they still were thinking ahead, right, to the electrified fencing.
Daeron: I mean, yeah, he he he had he he would do well in today's ICE or Department of Department of Homeland Security.
Daeron: Well, Michael McKeon was seedling.
Daeron: Was that his last name in the movie?
Lance: Yes.
Lance: Yeah, it was seedling.
Lance: I keep thinking of David St.
Lance: Hubbins.
Daeron: Oh, yeah, from Spinal Tap, but there were a bunch of standup comedians in the movie like Sinbad.
Daeron: And Adam Sandler.
Daeron: So as often we had a topic and we found the movie to go with it.
Daeron: I thought I saw Ellen DeGeneres as as the swim coach.
Lance: Wouldn't wouldn't surprise me a bit.
Lance: I missed that, but definitely wouldn't surprise me.
Daeron: I'm not sure what to compare it to.
Daeron: Sort of like.
Daeron: Oh, fuck.
Daeron: It's kind of like a Saturday Night Live movie like it was.
Daeron: And you're a big SNL fan, as we've talked about quite a few times.
Lance: Never missed never missed an episode ever.
Daeron: I guess before you get to the topic that we chose the movie for.
Daeron: Do you remember the first time you saw the Coneheads, like the skit or the movie?
Daeron: Were you excited about the movie when it came out or was it, oh, OK, I was distracted when you came out.
Daeron: Now I'm happy to know you exist.
Lance: And I'm always excited when an SNL skit makes it to the big screen, although they're they're less and less frequent, it seems, for some reason.
Lance: Although that the current the current season, dude, I was telling you about that, man, they've got a new they've got a new head writer.
Lance: And I think this dude was like, you know, like one of the writers, you know, team.
Lance: What did they used to call it?
Lance: The writer's room or whatever.
Daeron: Kirk was in and shit.
Lance: Yeah, yeah.
Lance: But but this this guy that's the head writer, I mean, I've just I haven't seen SNL this good for many, many years, if not a couple of decades, man, because, you know, it's comedy it's all about timing and delivery, but it starts with writing.
Lance: So you know, these these skits, there's just a lot of surrealism, which I'm a huge fan of.
Lance: Right.
Lance: So you know, you've got like the old British the old British comedy where you had so much surrealism in it.
Lance: And SCTV, you were a fan of the Canadian SCTV network, right?
Daeron: Yeah, I have seen a few of those.
Daeron: That's where I've found out about like Dave Thomas.
Lance: That's right.
Lance: And he was in he was in this movie.
Daeron: Yes.
Lance: So yeah, he was a he was the main the main conehead, right?
Daeron: Yes.
Daeron: The never the Garthak.
Daeron: It was Dan Aykroyd, Canadian also.
Daeron: He was Canadian.
Daeron: He might still be.
Daeron: He might be both.
Daeron: Oh, yep.
Daeron: He has dual citizenship, but he's from Ottawa, Ontario.
Lance: Oh, well, there you go.
Lance: Not from France, but from Canada.
Lance: Pretty pretty close.
Lance: Right?
Daeron: Well, there's probably more French speakers in Canada than America, although, you know, it's not like every part of Canada is Quebec, but I feel like educational systems and other things included sort of like how a lot of us took Spanish in school.
Daeron: But it was usually French or Spanish.
Lance: Yeah, it could come in a lot more handy to speak Spanish, like especially where I grew up, Texas made a lot more sense.
Lance: I did actually, I took, I don't know why, but for some reason I took French my first semester in high school.
Lance: And the only thing I really remember from it was, uh, faite attention, faite attention la, la, faite attention.
Daeron: Pay attention, Lance.
Lance: I think that's what it meant.
Lance: But I, uh, I kept asking the, the only thing I remember was asking the teacher, what, what does, uh, what does coup d'etat mean?
Lance: Cause a, a movie we both love, there's a song in there called coup d'etat talking about repo man, of course, so I don't know why I got into French, dude.
Lance: I, I, I did, I did French and then I dropped it out as quick as I could and went to Spanish.
Lance: Didn't do incredibly well in that either.
Lance: Unfortunately, I wasn't the most disciplined child.
Daeron: I think I did better in Spanish in college than I did in high school.
Lance: Well, for one thing, you're actually paying for college, right?
Daeron: That is true.
Daeron: So have you, not, sorry, man, no, I'm sort of manic right now, so I'm glad when you talk, because I'm just like, ah, there's a lot going on with you, dude.
Daeron: You know, you don't want to flowing down the street.
Lance: Oh, man.
Lance: Dogs and cats living together.
Daeron: Ah, mass hysteria, and I guess we are talking about immigration and things like that.
Daeron: I did want to say, and I've been meaning to do this, but I am broadcasting from Stolen Land that formally are I am to what a coincidence.
Daeron: I imagine most American and Canadian podcasts are.
Daeron: The people who used to live where I live were the Miamia, the Shawandak, and the Shawnee, the Kakaskia, and the Hopewell people.
Daeron: Ohio is a native word.
Daeron: And of course, I live in a place called Columbus, which is sort of the antithesis for Native Americans.
Daeron: Well, not sort of.
Daeron: Columbus was the antithesis to Native Americans.
Daeron: And he was a bad...
Daeron: Well, no, he never immigrated, but he would be one of the people that did not come and improve the lives of the people who lived here.
Daeron: As they say, the caravan of terror that always seems to get started up before every election to come get us and took our germs.
Daeron: Like, you know, what they they didn't have the electrified fence of the INS because he was busy singing.
Daeron: What Stonehenge or because he did say that little break when they got his promotion is like, let the next guy deal with it.
Lance: Yeah, makes sense.
Lance: Pass it down to the next sap or sap.
Daeron: You had some things to say, or at least I think you do about how fucking stupid some of our should we say stupid?
Daeron: Should we say ignorant or both?
Lance: I don't know, man.
Lance: Well, I mean, there was a time, and I don't know how much the immigration policies have specifically changed, but I mean, there was a time when this country was set up, and unless, maybe we're romanticizing, but it seems like at one point, we actually wanted people here to help out and take on the burden of the heavier jobs and build the nation up, and well, I mean, it's obviously a super rich nation.
Lance: It's hard to complain.
Lance: Like you said earlier, first world problems.
Lance: It's difficult to complain, and if people still want to come here as fucked up as we are now and as divided as we all seem to be, especially if you listen to people talk about how divided we are, right?
Daeron: Yeah, but how bad our health care system is, how bad our education system is.
Lance: And it is.
Daeron: Quality of life, public transit.
Daeron: Really, a long, long time ago, I stopped romanticizing how perfectly wonderful and awesome America was.
Daeron: And just sort of wonder what it is that would make a person want to come here.
Daeron: And so often it's because our government has destroyed their country or helped.
Lance: Well, that's what that's what's so frightening, isn't it?
Lance: You got to be very, very cautious and vigilant, right?
Lance: About when you start hearing people talking about, you know, dog whistle statements like, oh, I don't know, certain groups are poisoning the blood of our country.
Lance: And you heard those exact words in the late thirties somewhere over in Europe.
Lance: It does kind of put you on edge a little bit.
Daeron: Angry politicians complaining.
Daeron: You don't listen to them much, but you know, the band No Effects.
Lance: Sure.
Lance: Yeah, my yeah, my my late my late son-in-law was a huge fan of theirs.
Daeron: So they've got quite a few songs with lyrics like they turned out the fire underneath the melting pot.
Daeron: Red blood of America is starting to clot.
Daeron: I admire any immigrant that comes to this country.
Lance: Well, yeah, it's true.
Daeron: I guess I should say that.
Daeron: And I've got my doubts about Melania Trump's special visa that she got to get into the country.
Daeron: My main problem is the hypocrisy of people that like to pull up the ladder once they get somewhere.
Daeron: The people that pay for politicians or the people that marry politicians who try to get rid of the same things that their families and their friends were gifted to have because immigrating most places, like after getting there, if you get there, if you survive the trip, you know, with fucking Texas politicians putting barbed wire in the river and drowning kids and whatever the fuck, once you get somewhere, then there's all the fucking paperwork.
Daeron: And how many people do you know that complain about immigrants?
Daeron: Do you think could pass the citizenship test?
Lance: Probably none.
Lance: I mean, I'm sure there's probably a grand grand total of none.
Daeron: So, you know, you got to love America, you got to speak the language.
Daeron: Well, which of the languages that we've tried to snuff out?
Lance: But you know, a lot of this attitude toward immigration, it's nothing new, you know?
Lance: I mean, if you think about it, when we had like Irish immigrants here that were like the backbone of the New York area and different parts of the country, you know, I don't think it's a coincidence that they used to call, you know, police trucks, paddy wagons.
Lance: So it's nothing new, man.
Lance: I am looking through rose-colored glasses at the past a little bit.
Lance: Things haven't changed that much, right?
Lance: Now it's a lot easier, though, to kind of identify darker skins, right?
Lance: So that there is that, because back then, if you had darker skin, you weren't immigrating by choice.
Daeron: You were talking about it being a rich country built, you know, built on the backs of people who were either brought here or subjugated here.
Daeron: It's fucked up, man.
Daeron: And all the Coneheads want to do is play golf and consume mass quantities.
Lance: What's wrong with that?
Daeron: I mean, and then if we want to get into it, that guy that's trying to throw him out of the country the whole time, he had all those skills that people didn't have here.
Daeron: I am ranting.
Daeron: I'm sorry, dude.
Daeron: I tried to chill out for the last few hours and I'm just kind of ranting at you.
Daeron: Is it bad?
Lance: No, you've got you've got a lot going on, man.
Daeron: There's a like I don't know if it's a meme.
Daeron: Somebody took the movie poster for Immaculate, the one with like the side profile of her standing there and put somebody's like this woke woman, like just this rant about Sydney Sweeney.
Daeron: And woke lists and all this other shit.
Daeron: I'll get out of here.
Daeron: I'll find it later.
Daeron: I tried to do a really quick half paying attention search, but I started getting distracted and I want to focus on the you and me conversation.
Daeron: But there is it's going around and I don't know if you've left Twitter yet, but it I still kind of keep my eyes on it.
Daeron: As long as my phone, I stopped updating the app and it still says Twitter.
Daeron: It doesn't say X X.
Daeron: And as long as it's Twitter X, I can check it for hockey scores and yelling at politicians and stuff.
Daeron: But it's mostly it's mostly bots and porn and angry right wing people.
Daeron: And there's just a lot of like everything's woke.
Daeron: They're still saying woke and suffer.
Daeron: Now there's a little bit more of that.
Daeron: What's the new three letter thing they hate?
Daeron: ETI or.
Lance: And you're educating.
Lance: You're educating me, as always.
Daeron: Remember how everybody is yelling about CRT like two years ago?
Lance: No, not at all.
Daeron: Critical Race Theory.
Daeron: You didn't hear them say Critical Race Theory.
Lance: Oh, yeah.
Daeron: Yeah.
Lance: Well, I've got a fellow podcaster that said a few things about that, that pissed off some listeners that I had to settle down.
Lance: So we had we we had that.
Lance: OK, cool.
Lance: I see.
Lance: I see what you're getting at.
Lance: So now I did put two and two together now.
Daeron: I feel like they usually were complaining about it, saying Critical Race Theory.
Daeron: But yes, now it's DEI that people are.
Daeron: Well, this isn't just everybody.
Daeron: This is a generic right wing people, you know, like Twitter and Fox News and Trump and our politicians.
Daeron: I'm not saying every type of right wing person, just the ones that are on my radar.
Daeron: So do you know what DEI stands for?
Daeron: And it's a horrible thing.
Lance: Yes, I do.
Daeron: It's ruining the country.
Lance: It's Dominus Evictus Invictorium, right?
Lance: It's Latin, yes.
Lance: Secret society, right?
Lance: What is that society that used to meet?
Lance: What was that called?
Lance: Stonecutters?
Lance: No, the hedge?
Lance: No, the grove.
Daeron: Oh, Bohemian Grove?
Lance: Yes, that shows up in Late Night with the Devil.
Lance: Oh, another spoiler.
Daeron: They probably still meet.
Lance: Probably.
Lance: I'm sorry, man.
Lance: No, I have absolutely no idea what that could stand for.
Daeron: All right.
Daeron: Well, D is for diversity.
Daeron: Then there's equity and inclusion.
Daeron: And that is the thing that is ruining our country by.
Daeron: Based on the idea that recruiting and supporting workers of various backgrounds is integral to a company's success and in company's policies and initiatives designed to help all employees feel welcomed and equipped to perform their jobs at a high level.
Daeron: That is what like the Marjorie Greens and the Lauren Boebert's and what's that senator from Wisconsin or Florida that looks like an alien, Ron Johnson, Trump and Charlie Kirk and Ben Shapiro and all those fucks are very upset about DEI and how harmful it is.
Lance: Well, there goes there goes the United Federation of Planets.
Lance: I guess Star Trek isn't going to happen.
Daeron: I think it will end up with dupe.
Daeron: Is that what it was from Futurama, the Democratic Planets?
Lance: It sounds I don't know, but it sounds great.
Daeron: So yeah, I imagine your friend whose name starts with a P is probably ranted about DEI before.
Lance: Well, I guess I'll have to keep my ear to the ground a little more on that part, you know, because yeah, the last I don't know, I'm hoping he learned his lesson after saying something about critical race theory, but we shall see.
Daeron: We shall see, especially how long it hasn't been too long since you've all recorded, but it could be on his mind.
Lance: I'll like I said, I'll keep my ear to the ground tomorrow night when we record.
Daeron: People were blaming the the cargo ship that crashed into the Francis Scott Key Bridge.
Daeron: The two weirder things I heard were well, a couple of weird things I heard were it was done on purpose to distract people from Puff Daddy.
Daeron: Thanks for watching!
Daeron: And the other one was, it was the result of, it was supposed to distract people from something awesome and wonderful that Trump did.
Daeron: And the other one was, it's because the mayor of Baltimore is a person of color, and apparently, it's all his fault that a cargo ship crashed into a bridge.
Daeron: So DEI, there's just pictures of their mayor on the news talking about the dead people and the disaster, and people are just like, this is what happens when you do DEI.
Lance: DEI, not to be confused with DWI.
Daeron: But they probably say that in that way, sort of the way with that sour taste, like some people say woke, because if you say inclusion or diversity, some people can get away with that, I guess, because there's some people that are still like, yeah, fuck diversity.
Daeron: Inclusion and equity, it's hard for someone to sell their side.
Lance: Well, that's kind of what I was thinking.
Lance: Well, when you mentioned all three of those words, I'm like, that's three things that we should all be aspiring towards.
Lance: So where's the disconnect here?
Lance: Kind of hard to argue with that, isn't it?
Lance: I mean, not quite sure where we're going here.
Daeron: People got really mad when people were talking about equality.
Daeron: So then it was like, oh, OK, actually, a better word would be no equality in America.
Lance: No, right?
Lance: No equity in America.
Lance: Absolutely not.
Lance: Go somewhere else for that shit.
Daeron: Scratch the words off the Statue of Liberty.
Daeron: Some other dumb shit Nazis say.
Daeron: But so anyway.
Lance: Oh, man, I'm just you got me envisioning the Statue of Liberty remade with a giving a salute.
Lance: God, could you imagine?
Lance: Well, I know, but that's that's that's one of the ultimate symbols of bringing people into America to help be part of the, you know, the the joint vision that we're supposed to be having here, right?
Lance: So just like the irony, dude, the irony of it.
Lance: And then I don't know, it's just like it's if you if you look at the numbers, do you do you really think that it's when you're looking at at unemployment as low as it is and people being concerned about, you know, like you said, health benefits and things of that nature, that a bigger base of GDP would certainly contribute to us being able to do all that, not to mention if you happen to be a hawk, it'll help contribute to our ability to, you know, quote, unquote, protect ourselves, but what's wrong with more people coming in that actually want to work and contribute?
Lance: I just, I don't understand the problem here.
Lance: It can't be as simple as skin color.
Lance: Can it?
Daeron: I mean, honestly-
Lance: Am I being like really naive here?
Daeron: No, I think that there's been a, you know, we're sold a lot of bullshit because, you know, of the structure of the systems that we grew up in, but I think it's also a lot of fancy words for the real people that really rant about, oh, immigrants and people coming into our country, it is, I think, bigotry and racism, but they say it's because of their job because that doesn't make them sound like a big piece of shit.
Daeron: It's that you still sound like a piece of shit.
Daeron: I don't know what the right word for it is, but it's, I don't know.
Daeron: I don't know anybody that is like worried about an immigrant taking their jobs that also doesn't say other racist and bigoted shit, you know?
Daeron: It's not just work really.
Daeron: Yeah, I could see that.
Lance: I'm with you, but as far as real life execution of what's really going on here and what the truth is, as it were, okay, so I'm like an hour and a half from Mar-a-Lago now, okay?
Lance: Do you think that, you know, not to pick on the big orange guy, but do you think he kind of really knows what's really going on, but just sort of says one thing just to rally votes from lowest common denominator?
Lance: I mean, that's all I can figure out.
Lance: The guy's got to be, he's got to be a master of manipulation, right?
Daeron: He's charismatic, that's for sure.
Daeron: And I would say there's there's definitely some some racism or at least documented racist acts.
Daeron: But I think a lot he really doesn't give a shit.
Daeron: He just hates everybody except for himself.
Daeron: It seems a miserable, miserable life.
Daeron: Catalyzed screen, every smile looks kind of fake.
Daeron: Yeah, the horrible things that he does to us and he says he wants to do to us, I think, reflect how horrible he feels and he gets no pity because so much of his horribleness is brought on by himself and his selfishness.
Daeron: But I think it's also I mean, what?
Daeron: I'm pretty sure it was in the newspaper that his dad was arrested at a clan rally when he was younger.
Daeron: He was convicted of like racist housing practices.
Lance: Yes, I heard all about that.
Lance: Heard all about that.
Daeron: There's the, you know, just the lack of exposure to different types of people, I think doesn't help anybody to live that sort of sheltered life.
Daeron: I'm sure most of his life, everybody besides like smarmy rich fucks, every immigrant that he mostly came across was like a servant or, you know, in some sort of economical, lower capacity to him.
Daeron: But, you know, he says he hates immigrants, but at least I think two of his wives were immigrants.
Daeron: So it's back to the hypocrisy thing.
Daeron: And so, yeah, this is an election year.
Daeron: It's bound to talk about one of the things that the Republican Party runs on every single year, which is hate, hate, hate, hate.
Daeron: Hate.
Daeron: I don't even know why.
Daeron: I haven't really seen anything in the Coneheads.
Daeron: Speaking of which, do you know who else comes from France?
Daeron: The Statue of Liberty.
Lance: That's right.
Daeron: So the Coneheads, I mean, yeah.
Daeron: So they do the journey instead of crossing a water border or climbing over a wall.
Lance: And they didn't need the cartel to get them here, right?
Lance: Because everybody knows that the cartel controls the borders over there, which is another big question of why don't we open the fucking borders?
Lance: It's kind of like when you stop the war on drugs.
Lance: You sort of squeeze a lot of drug dealers out of jobs, and then now as that's slowly starting to change a little bit, they're having to find other things to do.
Lance: So, I mean, there's an easy solution to that, right?
Lance: What would be the worst?
Lance: This is going to sound radical.
Lance: I better be careful.
Lance: What would be the worst thing that could happen, dude, if they just opened the borders one day, man?
Lance: Do you think the country would go up in flames in a single day or what?
Daeron: Well, you know, back in the day, we had open borders and we had we got all these colonizers over here.
Lance: There is that.
Daeron: We've got fucking pilgrims, a caravan of pilgrims came and took our syphilis.
Daeron: Yep, they brought syphilis and all these all the people that were too crazy religious for Europe came here.
Lance: Oh, that's right.
Daeron: Spread, spread the gospel of Jesus through violence, as is the best way.
Daeron: Of course.
Daeron: Share the ideas of like love and stuff.
Daeron: So the code heads didn't do that.
Daeron: They but they did get attacked by the American government as soon as they came to America.
Daeron: They were stranded here with no support group, but through their kindness and their generosity and their their friendliness to others, they built their lives up.
Daeron: They made friends with all kinds of stand up comedians that ran different businesses.
Lance: That's right.
Lance: The who's who of 90s, early 90s comedy.
Daeron: Adam Sandler selling fake identities.
Daeron: Another hole in the whole immigrants or whatever thing is a person who fully goes through the bureaucracy and immigrates, pays taxes and just works or whatever, like everybody else.
Daeron: But then if somebody is in this country against some of the legalities, they're paying taxes but getting none of the benefits.
Lance: That's right.
Lance: Yeah, because the taxes come out.
Daeron: Taxes come out.
Lance: Whether you like it or not.
Lance: So yeah, it's crazy, man.
Lance: They're paying people or people that are not here legally.
Lance: The bottom line is they're paying a lot more into the system and getting a lot less out of the system than just about any of us that have been here our whole lives, man.
Lance: I mean, that's just the truth of it.
Lance: You know, statistics don't lie.
Lance: That's kind of how the system is set up, man.
Lance: So, you know, like you said, get here, pay to get here and then pay and pay again.
Lance: But, you know, again, like you said, you know, the American government, the CIA probably hasn't helped this fact, right?
Lance: But you've got despots and warlords all over the world making life hell for everybody.
Lance: You've got, you know, one country that's invading another in Europe.
Lance: You've got, you know, another particular country that's already got, you know, people crowded into a tiny little open air prison.
Lance: And so what are they going to do now?
Lance: Well, let's just bomb the fuck out of them while we've got them stuck there.
Lance: So it's just the world is fucked up there.
Lance: And I mean, I'm trying not to get too negative here, man.
Lance: But yeah, you're right.
Lance: If like you said, why would they come here?
Lance: Well, that just goes to show you how bad things are elsewhere, man.
Daeron: Yep.
Daeron: I mean, we are our country and some of the other big ones have definitely stripped a lot of the natural resources of other countries and crushed democratically elected leaders, especially if they have leftists or socialist leanings.
Daeron: And we also need to worry, Lance, about all of the people sneaking across the border responsible for over 96% of fentanyl seizures.
Daeron: Oh no, I'm sorry.
Lance: No doubt.
Daeron: No, 96% of fentanyl seizures were from people crossing through the normal ports of entry.
Lance: Are you being serious right now?
Daeron: Over 96% of fentanyl that came into the country was from like shipping containers and ships and trucks and cars and people driving across the border.
Daeron: I mean, there's been three or four instances where Columbus police were caught smuggling fentanyl.
Daeron: Like, it's not immigrants.
Daeron: If you're worried about fentanyl getting into your neighborhood, look twice at that cop.
Lance: Yeah, makes sense, man.
Lance: Yeah, it's probably not the person who's coming just trying to make a little bit of money to send back home to their families, right?
Daeron: Oh, in 2021, I had this, the Cato Institute.
Daeron: We know them, the Libertarian Right-Wing Cato Institute, said that in 2021, 86 percent of fentanyl trafficking were US citizens.
Lance: Well, that doesn't surprise me.
Lance: You know, I mean, they've got the connections, right?
Daeron: Yeah, it's easier to get across.
Lance: Of course.
Lance: Who's going to question you?
Daeron: Here's my passport.
Daeron: Don't look in my trunk.
Daeron: You know, here's my badge.
Daeron: I'm going to let you accidentally see my badge when I show you my ID.
Daeron: And the gun that I've got.
Daeron: You know, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Daeron: We're all in the fraternity.
Lance: Oh, man.
Daeron: So that was another thing that I wanted to get to while we were having moments of focus was the other bullshit about like, oh, the the illegals bringing in all the fentanyl.
Daeron: No, not really.
Lance: Yeah, she's she's sneaking across the border.
Lance: She's pretending to be pregnant.
Lance: You know, don't don't don't believe that that's really a woman with three kids.
Lance: That's a that's a big old batch of fentanyl that she's got taped to her stomach as she crosses the border, just trying to evilly kill all of our children.
Lance: Right.
Daeron: Definitely make cops have seizures when they look at it, unless unless they're the ones that brought it in.
Daeron: They they they seemed they need to teach their friends.
Daeron: The ones the ones that actually do the smuggling.
Daeron: But yeah, the police who do all the the 96 or not, 96 percent.
Daeron: Sorry, that was the total was just legal ports of entry was 96 percent.
Daeron: Eighty six percent.
Daeron: OK, was US citizens.
Daeron: I don't know what percentage there is of police that have done it, but numerous police have been caught and convicted for smuggling fentanyl into the country.
Lance: Wow, man, that's that's why I come on the show with you, man.
Lance: I'm always educated.
Lance: I had I had no idea about any of those stats.
Daeron: Got some statistics and I got some statistics from, you know, sources that I don't like.
Daeron: Just so I'm not like cherry picking everything from Mother Jones or whatever the fuck.
Lance: Right.
Daeron: What else should we talk about?
Daeron: We're coming up on a time where we could we could cut it and you could go enjoy time with your lovely wife.
Lance: I read an interesting article this morning.
Daeron: Was it the which one was it?
Lance: It's a it's on a completely different topic.
Lance: And I'm not quite sure how to how to process it yet, but I can kind of see the validity of it.
Lance: But have you have you heard you know you're telling me about some new things that people are banding about?
Lance: Have you heard that a lot of people are referring to Gen Z now as the tool belt generation, the tool belt, the tool belt generation?
Daeron: Why would they be called tool belt?
Daeron: This is Gen Z?
Lance: Yeah.
Lance: Bear in mind, this is Gen Z.
Lance: Gen Z.
Lance: So these are like, you know, our current what high school graduate level folks and people around that age up to maybe what would be considered, you know, and I'm using air quotes here, you know, college age.
Daeron: OK, it's either.
Daeron: Well, I got well, I don't want to find out who's calling them that.
Daeron: It's either because they there's more people going into skilled trades than college because of how fucked our bingo bingo.
Lance: Yeah, you nailed it.
Daeron: That's fascinating.
Lance: And that's a good thing, but that's a good thing, right?
Lance: Because we need more people in skilled like you always when's the last time you saw a post apocalyptic movie or a zombie movie, right?
Lance: And the people that were that were stuck sweeping the streets and stuff like that were like MBAs and things of that nature.
Lance: And then the people who actually knew how to do things ended up really running things because now you're in a life or death situation.
Lance: So learning those skills is great.
Lance: I could definitely see the importance of that.
Lance: But I don't know, man, at the same time, it's a little bit.
Lance: I think it's a little bit disheartening, right?
Lance: It just shows you how how fucked up our education system is now, right?
Lance: And how expensive it is to get a college degree and how you continue to pay these student loans forever and ever and ever and ever and never get out from under the yoke of it.
Lance: So anyway, it's just kind of interesting, man.
Lance: I thought.
Lance: But yeah, that's that's what I was reading this morning, man.
Lance: A Wall Street Journal article tool belt generation.
Lance: You know, I can see some good to it.
Lance: I can see some bad to it, but it's definitely interesting.
Daeron: Yeah, that is that that is interesting.
Daeron: I feel like there was a lot of older generations casting dispersions on the millennials.
Daeron: For not having a lot of skill trades.
Lance: Ah, OK.
Daeron: I don't even know how fair that is to say, but there there was like a general.
Daeron: Oh, you know, that generation doesn't know how to change a tire.
Daeron: They pay somebody to change a tire.
Daeron: That generation doesn't know how to whatever.
Daeron: Of course, I don't know if that's just because I am either the earliest I can be as a millennial or the last year of Gen X.
Lance: Yes, that's right.
Daeron: So I a lot of, you know, older people around me were the type that would say, oh, these kids don't know how to do anything.
Lance: That's right.
Lance: Things change, right?
Lance: Maybe we're coming around full circle.
Daeron: So, yeah, the next.
Lance: Oh, so maybe we're headed into a World War II scenario.
Lance: Oh, I got to be quiet.
Daeron: Well, we'll see.
Daeron: I mean, shit, there's I mean, yeah, I don't know.
Lance: I know it looks bad, doesn't it?
Lance: And then the vanishing resources and all the problems that climate change is bringing.
Lance: And that's another problem with having these closed borders, right?
Lance: You know, because the more you build up, you know, you put like a mentos in a bottle of Coca-Cola, right?
Lance: Close the lid and really, really, really shake it.
Lance: What's going to happen when you open that lid, man?
Lance: Scary.
Daeron: Yeah, that's a lot of super storms, much more wild weather.
Daeron: Yeah, that's it's fucked up, man.
Daeron: Maybe we should go.
Daeron: Back to Remillac.
Lance: I wonder if they would take us.
Lance: I mean, we can always we can always battle that monster in the pit, right?
Lance: If we make it through.
Lance: Yes, we get to do whatever we want to do.
Lance: Right.
Lance: Did he say your your Dave Thomas told him your wishes on command or something like that?
Lance: Anything you asked for?
Lance: Save Earth.
Lance: Why would you save Earth?
Daeron: Well, you know, another thing, why I think it's ridiculous and perfectly fitting to talk about Coneheads and to talk about immigrants, he just wants to make his kid happy and oh, man, have the people and live the life that she wants to live around the people she knows.
Daeron: That's right.
Lance: That's right.
Lance: Yeah.
Lance: When they went in, they went into that that little segment there where they were showing her growing up.
Lance: I shed a tear, man.
Lance: That was a pretty poignant little segment that they made there, you know?
Daeron: Yeah.
Daeron: Oh, and with Paul Simon on it, too.
Daeron: That just adds Paul Simon adds a lot of to it.
Lance: That's right.
Daeron: And yeah, not a bad movie.
Lance: A lot of people shit on this movie, man.
Lance: I didn't hate it.
Lance: I really enjoyed it.
Lance: I definitely loved the skits on Saturday Night Live better.
Lance: Like, this is definitely something that was better, you know, like in a five to seven minute format.
Lance: But it was a fun movie and they got enough talented comedians in there, people that you see all the time now, like Drew Carey getting into the cab.
Daeron: Oh, right.
Lance: I mean, we could talk forever about all the cameos, right?
Daeron: But yeah, I like the movie.
Daeron: I think I liked it more when I the first few times I saw it.
Daeron: I think it still stands up.
Daeron: There's not a lot of, ooh, that joke didn't.
Lance: Didn't hold up.
Daeron: That joke didn't hold up.
Daeron: I have no idea what this joke is or anything like that.
Lance: Yeah, like I tried to get AJ to watch Blazing Saddles with me, right?
Lance: And she was like, I can't watch this.
Lance: She says, this is just too much for me.
Lance: And I said, come on, babe.
Lance: And then I said, well, look, Richard Pryor co-wrote it.
Lance: So it's okay.
Lance: You can watch it, babe.
Lance: You don't have to feel that guilty.
Lance: She was just like really offended.
Daeron: You know, Mel Brooks has that special ability.
Daeron: I think it's the intelligence in its comedy because it's not just like racism, racism.
Daeron: It's making a point.
Daeron: It's not saying something awful to get a shock.
Daeron: They really need their sheriff, but they'll treat him like shit when they don't need him.
Daeron: And anyway, people that we really need, but a lot of people treat like bad people will treat like, oh, they don't.
Lance: Full circle, full circle.
Daeron: Yes, we should.
Daeron: Let's wrap up.
Daeron: I think we can at a more leisurely time have another fun episode.
Daeron: Not too far in the future.
Daeron: I am.
Daeron: I was looking at the episodes you threw my way, but then my house flooded and I just sort of dealing with things.
Daeron: But I'm really glad that you found the time to sit down with me tonight to talk about immigration and the Coneheads.
Lance: I always always like talking with you and I always learn a lot.
Lance: Like all these things that you brought up, I don't think I've heard too many of them before.
Lance: So now I've got some things to look into and listen for.
Lance: So when I'm doing my other podcast, I might listen for some buzzwords.
Daeron: Lance from The Horror Returns, look up The Horror Returns.
Lance: It's so easy now that we have a website that's got like all the links on it.
Lance: It's just www.thehorrorreturns.com
Lance: That's it.
Lance: I always prefer talking about the newer movies.
Lance: I think Brian gets off more on the nostalgia stuff.
Lance: But hey, man, that's why we're a team, right?
Daeron: Exactly.
Daeron: From each according to their ability to each according to their need.
Daeron: Broadcasting from Stolen Land.
Daeron: This is another Psychosemanticast signing off.