1 01:00:01,250 --> 01:00:04,125 Good morning and 2 01:00:04,125 --> 01:00:05,916 welcome to Morning Serial. 3 01:00:08,833 --> 01:00:12,916 Okay, good morning and 4 01:00:12,916 --> 01:00:13,833 welcome to Wednesday. 5 01:00:14,041 --> 01:00:15,125 Rise and shine sunshine. 6 01:00:15,875 --> 01:00:17,125 I think someone used to say that to me. 7 01:00:17,125 --> 01:00:18,041 I don't know why I said that. 8 01:00:18,041 --> 01:00:19,708 Well, some of you got to go back to 9 01:00:19,708 --> 01:00:21,291 school today and you're in 10 01:00:21,291 --> 01:00:23,041 for another exciting year 11 01:00:23,041 --> 01:00:23,625 ahead of you. 12 01:00:23,625 --> 01:00:24,083 Embrace it. 13 01:00:24,625 --> 01:00:27,000 And today is a great day for all of that 14 01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:28,291 sizzling ambition you're 15 01:00:28,291 --> 01:00:29,333 going back to school with. 16 01:00:29,541 --> 01:00:31,291 Okay, or maybe I'm just 17 01:00:31,291 --> 01:00:32,541 thinking about sizzling steak. 18 01:00:33,083 --> 01:00:34,583 It's National Filet Mignon Day. 19 01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,083 And we're celebrating the most tender and 20 01:00:37,083 --> 01:00:39,625 usually the most tasty cut of beef that's 21 01:00:39,625 --> 01:00:41,666 been melting mouths, definitely my mouth 22 01:00:41,666 --> 01:00:43,250 and wallets since the 23 01:00:43,250 --> 01:00:44,958 early 1900s when the term 24 01:00:45,250 --> 01:00:47,000 Filet Mignon was first appearing. 25 01:00:47,500 --> 01:00:48,875 Well, it's what's for dinner. 26 01:00:49,416 --> 01:00:50,875 And for our quote this morning as someone 27 01:00:50,875 --> 01:00:53,125 who knows a thing or two about eating and 28 01:00:53,375 --> 01:00:55,625 swimming, it's Michael Phelps who said, 29 01:00:55,625 --> 01:00:57,500 "There will be obstacles. 30 01:00:57,875 --> 01:00:59,125 There will be doubters. 31 01:00:59,208 --> 01:01:00,000 There will be mistakes. 32 01:01:00,541 --> 01:01:02,875 But with hard work, there are no limits." 33 01:01:03,250 --> 01:01:03,500 End quote. 34 01:01:03,958 --> 01:01:05,291 Now, a perfect Mobius 35 01:01:05,291 --> 01:01:06,750 strip of inspiration, right? 36 01:01:06,750 --> 01:01:08,916 It acknowledges the hurdles, yet it 37 01:01:08,916 --> 01:01:09,916 insists that 38 01:01:09,916 --> 01:01:12,333 persistence, not entitlement, is the 39 01:01:12,333 --> 01:01:13,041 true flex here. 40 01:01:13,666 --> 01:01:13,916 All right. 41 01:01:14,250 --> 01:01:16,166 Well, today's news facts and birthdays 42 01:01:16,166 --> 01:01:18,000 are for August 13th. 43 01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:19,333 We're going to start back in 1982. 44 01:01:19,916 --> 01:01:21,750 That's when the movie Fast Times at 45 01:01:21,750 --> 01:01:22,958 Ridgemont High, it 46 01:01:22,958 --> 01:01:25,000 premiered and it ushered in a new 47 01:01:25,041 --> 01:01:28,333 wave of teen comedies that catapulted 48 01:01:28,333 --> 01:01:30,291 guys like Sean Penn and 49 01:01:30,291 --> 01:01:31,625 Checkerboard Vans into 50 01:01:31,666 --> 01:01:32,625 Gen X folklore. 51 01:01:33,166 --> 01:01:34,166 I mean, who hasn't worn 52 01:01:34,166 --> 01:01:35,125 those Checkerboard Vans? 53 01:01:35,500 --> 01:01:36,958 I know I had those in sixth grade. 54 01:01:37,625 --> 01:01:39,541 Then moving up to 1985, which was after 55 01:01:39,541 --> 01:01:40,416 sixth grade for me, 56 01:01:41,208 --> 01:01:42,541 Sting, well, his first solo 57 01:01:42,541 --> 01:01:45,416 US tour in San Diego, stepping out of the 58 01:01:45,416 --> 01:01:46,541 police and giving us, 59 01:01:46,916 --> 01:01:47,791 "If you love somebody, 60 01:01:48,083 --> 01:01:48,833 set them free." 61 01:01:49,666 --> 01:01:52,416 And lastly, in 2008, American super 62 01:01:52,416 --> 01:01:53,625 swimmer, Michael Phelps, 63 01:01:53,958 --> 01:01:55,708 well, he won three gold medals, 64 01:01:55,708 --> 01:01:58,875 all in world record time, in one day at 65 01:01:58,875 --> 01:01:59,708 the Beijing Olympics. 66 01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:01,875 It was the 200 meter I.M., the 200 meter 67 01:02:01,875 --> 01:02:03,208 butterfly, and the four by 68 01:02:03,208 --> 01:02:04,791 200 meter freestyle relay. 69 01:02:05,250 --> 01:02:05,541 All right. 70 01:02:05,833 --> 01:02:07,208 Well, happy birthday to you. 71 01:02:07,208 --> 01:02:08,416 Today is your birthday. 72 01:02:08,666 --> 01:02:11,083 You share a birthday with economist and 73 01:02:11,083 --> 01:02:12,000 former chair of the 74 01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:13,791 Federal Reserve, Janet Yellen. 75 01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:15,041 She's 79 today. 76 01:02:15,750 --> 01:02:18,333 And late film director, Alfred Hitchcock, 77 01:02:18,583 --> 01:02:20,958 he was born on this date back in 1899. 78 01:02:21,583 --> 01:02:22,208 Hard to believe it. 79 01:02:22,791 --> 01:02:24,833 Well, the number one song on this date 80 01:02:24,833 --> 01:02:26,583 back in 1981 was 81 01:02:26,583 --> 01:02:29,041 "Endless Love" by Diana Ross 82 01:02:29,291 --> 01:02:30,083 and Lionel Richie. 83 01:02:30,458 --> 01:02:33,041 Now, this is one of my favorite 80s love 84 01:02:33,041 --> 01:02:35,708 duets, definitely on any 85 01:02:35,708 --> 01:02:37,958 love mixtape and just for 86 01:02:37,958 --> 01:02:39,083 good old listening to. 87 01:02:39,500 --> 01:02:41,125 Now, this duet climbed the charts with 88 01:02:41,125 --> 01:02:43,000 its smooth soul and it 89 01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:44,291 definitely slow danced 90 01:02:44,458 --> 01:02:46,666 its way into our memories, becoming one 91 01:02:46,666 --> 01:02:47,375 of the best selling 92 01:02:47,375 --> 01:02:48,625 love songs of the 80s. 93 01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:51,000 And if you didn't dance to this at your 94 01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:52,875 prom, were you even there? 95 01:02:53,333 --> 01:02:54,166 If not, that's okay. 96 01:02:54,541 --> 01:02:57,250 Well, where you are is here and here is 97 01:02:57,250 --> 01:02:57,958 the book review with 98 01:02:57,958 --> 01:02:59,375 Stephen R. Covey's "Seven 99 01:02:59,375 --> 01:03:00,875 Habits of Highly Effective People." 100 01:03:01,250 --> 01:03:04,000 And we are moving into habit five. 101 01:03:04,291 --> 01:03:04,541 All right. 102 01:03:04,791 --> 01:03:06,375 So this is a new chapter entitled 103 01:03:06,375 --> 01:03:08,291 "Principles of Empathetic Communication." 104 01:03:09,166 --> 01:03:12,125 And Covey opens up this new chapter with 105 01:03:12,125 --> 01:03:13,375 a quote from Blaise 106 01:03:13,375 --> 01:03:15,000 Pascal that sets the tone 107 01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:15,625 perfectly. 108 01:03:16,166 --> 01:03:17,083 Here it is. 109 01:03:17,083 --> 01:03:18,291 Quote, "Seek first to 110 01:03:18,291 --> 01:03:20,708 understand, then to be understood." 111 01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:21,291 All right. 112 01:03:21,291 --> 01:03:22,416 So this idea is 113 01:03:22,416 --> 01:03:23,916 deceptively simple, right? 114 01:03:24,208 --> 01:03:26,541 But it's one of the most underused skills 115 01:03:26,541 --> 01:03:28,583 in personal and professional life, right? 116 01:03:28,958 --> 01:03:31,041 Covey points out that most of us listen 117 01:03:31,041 --> 01:03:32,875 with the intent only to 118 01:03:32,875 --> 01:03:34,916 reply, not to even understand 119 01:03:35,083 --> 01:03:36,166 what we're hearing, okay? 120 01:03:36,375 --> 01:03:37,916 We filter what we hear 121 01:03:37,916 --> 01:03:39,833 through our own experiences, right? 122 01:03:39,833 --> 01:03:41,500 We've talked about this through our own 123 01:03:41,500 --> 01:03:43,000 lenses, our own paradigm. 124 01:03:43,541 --> 01:03:45,541 And then we're often preparing our answer 125 01:03:45,541 --> 01:03:47,166 while the other person is still speaking. 126 01:03:47,666 --> 01:03:49,500 It's like showing up to a conversation 127 01:03:49,500 --> 01:03:50,875 with earmuffs, right? 128 01:03:50,875 --> 01:03:52,208 You're technically present, 129 01:03:52,541 --> 01:03:54,125 but you're not really there. 130 01:03:54,708 --> 01:03:55,791 So Covey makes a 131 01:03:55,791 --> 01:03:57,416 powerful observation here. 132 01:03:57,416 --> 01:03:59,666 Quote, "If you're like most people, you 133 01:03:59,666 --> 01:04:01,541 probably seek first to be understood. 134 01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:03,916 You want to get your point across. 135 01:04:04,375 --> 01:04:06,041 But in doing so, you may 136 01:04:06,041 --> 01:04:08,125 ignore the other person completely. 137 01:04:08,916 --> 01:04:10,625 Pretend that you're listening, 138 01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:12,500 selectively hear only 139 01:04:12,500 --> 01:04:14,000 certain parts of a conversation, 140 01:04:14,500 --> 01:04:16,541 or attentively focus only 141 01:04:16,541 --> 01:04:17,750 on the words being said. 142 01:04:18,291 --> 01:04:20,583 But you miss the meaning entirely." 143 01:04:21,125 --> 01:04:21,375 End quote. 144 01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:22,291 All right. 145 01:04:22,750 --> 01:04:24,625 The principle of empathetic communication 146 01:04:24,625 --> 01:04:26,000 flips that natural 147 01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:28,000 instinct on its head, right? 148 01:04:28,583 --> 01:04:30,333 Covey argues that truly effective 149 01:04:30,333 --> 01:04:32,250 communication starts with a 150 01:04:32,250 --> 01:04:34,875 deep, genuine desire to grasp 151 01:04:35,250 --> 01:04:37,208 the other person's point of view. 152 01:04:37,666 --> 01:04:39,916 It's not about nodding politely while 153 01:04:39,916 --> 01:04:40,583 they're talking, right? 154 01:04:40,583 --> 01:04:41,208 We've all done that. 155 01:04:41,500 --> 01:04:43,583 It's about entering their frame of 156 01:04:43,583 --> 01:04:45,291 reference so fully that 157 01:04:45,291 --> 01:04:46,541 you can almost see the world 158 01:04:46,541 --> 01:04:47,125 as they do. 159 01:04:47,583 --> 01:04:49,375 So Covey compares it to giving someone 160 01:04:49,375 --> 01:04:52,458 psychological air, the emotional 161 01:04:52,458 --> 01:04:53,750 equivalent of breathing 162 01:04:53,791 --> 01:04:55,916 room, which allows trust and 163 01:04:55,916 --> 01:04:57,208 understanding to grow. 164 01:04:58,166 --> 01:04:59,625 This is where Pascal's 165 01:04:59,625 --> 01:05:00,916 wisdom comes into play. 166 01:05:01,416 --> 01:05:03,583 The philosopher believed that people are 167 01:05:03,583 --> 01:05:04,958 far more likely to 168 01:05:04,958 --> 01:05:07,375 accept your perspective after 169 01:05:07,375 --> 01:05:09,541 they feel you have understood theirs. 170 01:05:10,416 --> 01:05:12,708 And Covey builds on top of this by 171 01:05:12,708 --> 01:05:13,750 explaining that once 172 01:05:13,750 --> 01:05:15,875 someone feels heard, like really 173 01:05:15,875 --> 01:05:17,875 heard though, they naturally 174 01:05:17,875 --> 01:05:19,666 become more open to your ideas. 175 01:05:20,166 --> 01:05:21,916 And that's not manipulation. 176 01:05:22,458 --> 01:05:24,041 It's just mutual respect. 177 01:05:24,750 --> 01:05:26,791 This empathetic listening is about 178 01:05:26,791 --> 01:05:29,083 slowing down and investing in 179 01:05:29,083 --> 01:05:30,458 relationships, whether 180 01:05:30,458 --> 01:05:32,458 at work and family life or in those 181 01:05:32,458 --> 01:05:33,875 longstanding friendships that have 182 01:05:33,875 --> 01:05:34,875 survived every stage 183 01:05:34,875 --> 01:05:35,458 of your life. 184 01:05:35,833 --> 01:05:36,041 Okay. 185 01:05:36,541 --> 01:05:37,166 Here's your takeaway. 186 01:05:38,250 --> 01:05:38,333 Empathetic 187 01:05:38,333 --> 01:05:40,416 communication isn't a soft skill. 188 01:05:40,625 --> 01:05:41,541 It's a powerful skill. 189 01:05:41,916 --> 01:05:44,125 By first seeking to understand, you 190 01:05:44,125 --> 01:05:45,500 create the foundation for 191 01:05:45,500 --> 01:05:47,458 real trust, collaboration 192 01:05:47,750 --> 01:05:49,625 and real influence, all right? 193 01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:51,500 The next time you're in a conversation, 194 01:05:51,500 --> 01:05:52,708 whether it's negotiating a 195 01:05:52,708 --> 01:05:54,458 deal, talking to your kids 196 01:05:54,541 --> 01:05:56,208 or just hashing out plans with friends, 197 01:05:56,625 --> 01:05:57,791 try hitting the pause 198 01:05:57,791 --> 01:05:59,958 button on your inner reply 199 01:05:59,958 --> 01:06:02,708 script and then lean into true listening. 200 01:06:03,125 --> 01:06:05,416 You may find that being understood comes 201 01:06:05,416 --> 01:06:06,375 naturally when you're 202 01:06:06,375 --> 01:06:07,958 given the gift of understanding 203 01:06:08,041 --> 01:06:08,458 first. 204 01:06:09,375 --> 01:06:09,625 All right. 205 01:06:09,625 --> 01:06:11,041 Well, ever since I mentioned the filet 206 01:06:11,041 --> 01:06:12,125 mignons, I'm thinking about dinner. 207 01:06:12,625 --> 01:06:14,208 So when you're grilling your filet mignon 208 01:06:14,208 --> 01:06:15,750 tonight, look back on 209 01:06:15,750 --> 01:06:17,500 today and how you savored 210 01:06:17,500 --> 01:06:19,500 the richness of what you do, 211 01:06:19,500 --> 01:06:21,125 not just the outcome of it. 212 01:06:21,125 --> 01:06:21,583 All right. 213 01:06:21,583 --> 01:06:22,083 Thanks for starting 214 01:06:22,083 --> 01:06:23,041 your Wednesday with us. 215 01:06:23,166 --> 01:06:24,500 Come back again tomorrow for some more 216 01:06:24,500 --> 01:06:25,250 nostalgia and some 217 01:06:25,250 --> 01:06:27,875 motivation and as always, have a 218 01:06:27,875 --> 01:06:28,625 fantastic day. 219 01:06:30,250 --> 01:06:31,958 Don't forget to follow and subscribe to 220 01:06:31,958 --> 01:06:32,583 the Morning Serial 221 01:06:32,583 --> 01:06:34,666 Podcast on the One Life Live 222 01:06:34,666 --> 01:06:35,125 It channel. 223 01:06:35,666 --> 01:06:37,625 You can find more episodes and videos by 224 01:06:37,625 --> 01:06:38,458 visiting our YouTube 225 01:06:38,458 --> 01:06:40,541 channel and the website at Shawn 226 01:06:40,541 --> 01:06:43,291 Inglis and at ShawnInglis.com, where you 227 01:06:43,291 --> 01:06:44,458 can also follow our 228 01:06:44,458 --> 01:06:45,875 other podcasts, the Mr. and 229 01:06:45,875 --> 01:06:47,416 Mrs. Inglis podcast and 230 01:06:47,416 --> 01:06:48,250 the Life Happens podcast. 231 01:06:49,291 --> 01:06:51,416 And these other podcasts will dive deeper 232 01:06:51,416 --> 01:06:52,333 into everyday issues, 233 01:06:52,583 --> 01:06:53,875 self-improvement, well-being, 234 01:06:54,083 --> 01:06:54,958 business and finance. 235 01:06:55,583 --> 01:06:57,125 And we welcome special guests too. 236 01:06:57,666 --> 01:06:58,416 So join us. 237 01:06:58,416 --> 01:06:59,375 It'll be a good time. 238 01:06:59,375 --> 01:06:59,791 I promise. 239 01:07:00,416 --> 01:07:01,500 Thanks again for listening. 240 01:07:01,500 --> 01:07:03,041 Have a fantastic day and 241 01:07:03,041 --> 01:07:03,583 we'll see you tomorrow.